Why can't it be like this forever?

BY : Catspeaker
Category: +G through L > The Loud House
Dragon prints: 1495
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Linka stood outside her eldest brothers door with trepidation now. She was still feeling the unnerving effects of the nightmare she'd had tonight, but she was also even more nervous about seeing her big brother, alone...in his room. But right now more than anything else, she didn't want to be alone. Her nightmare was about being left alone and forgotten about. With such a large family, Linka actually got scared when she was left completely by herself for a length of time. Without the comforting feeling of knowing her family was around, even if she could only just hear them through the walls of her room, she would find herself worrying and becoming nervous. Reflecting on the visions she'd just suffered, one of being left alone in the house, left behind like trash her family had forgotten about, almost brought a fresh wave of new tears to her eyes.


The fear and anxiety from her nightmare was enough to trump the nervousness she felt about being alone with her big brother. Normally Loni would be there as well, and the two of them would comfort her, hold her, and make her feel better. Loni might even make some popcorn and put on a funny or bad funny movie to make her laugh and smile. The number of times she'd fallen asleep between the two of them on the floor in front of a laptop was far more than she'd like to admit. Surrounded by blankets and pillows and the two oldest boys in the house, while something silly played in front of her, she would be dozing off nestled against one of them, before she knew it.


But she couldn't remember the last time she was all alone with just him. Just her big brother. Just Loki.


She felt a flush coming to her cheeks already, and her fingers went down to the middle of her nightgown beginning to bunch it up in her hands. Maybe she should turn back and tell him everything was okay... she was just being silly and a little old bad dream wasn't going to effect her.


But by then she could hear the sound of the locks being released from the other side of the door. Loki and Loni's room was the only one besides her own that could outright lock, and Loki was VERY strict on just who and when his other siblings were allowed in his and Loni's room.


The door swung open and Linka found herself as well as the hall bathed in the light from her big brother's room.


She looked up as he stood over her, the 17 year old boy was already leaning one strong arm against the door frame as his ice blue eyes gazed down into her own. There was a look of compassion on his features. He was dressed in a old faded powder blue tank top, and a pair of dark blue gym shorts.


She hadn't known, but her brother had decided to throw on a pair of said shorts before answering the door. He'd also tucked his erection in the waistband of his boxers and shorts to keep it out of the way. His tanktop was long enough to cover his waistband so there was no problem of her seeing it 'poking up' either.


Thankfully his arousal was slowly cooling down now that he had something else to focus on. Though Linka did look so very cute in her orange nightgown with her long snow white hair messy and tousled from how she'd been sleeping, she wasn't exactly a sex goddess walking in the night, and she was his sister on top of it all, he figured he was safe.


“Hey shortie, what's this about a bad dream now?” Her big brother asked with that look of concern. Already he was moving aside, a clear indication she should come in.


Linka didn't hesitate, she crossed into the threshold as Loki closed the door behind her. After she'd taken more than a few steps into the room, she'd turned, looked up into his eyes and hit him full on with what he and his brothers simply called 'The Pout'.


Her eyes seemed to go as wide as saucers, as crystal blue tears formed at the corners of them, her lower lip pushed out perfectly and quivered. The result was an expression that seemed to indicate absolute despair and unhappiness rolled into one.


Sometimes it was a genuine look of distress and wanting love and affection from her family members that caused it. Sometimes it was a weapon she wielded when she wanted to get her way.


None of her brothers could resist it for very long, not even analytical Levi. Linka only used The Pout sparingly however, she knew it was a weapon wielded only when absolutely necessary, less her family develop a resistance to it.


In this case though, she wanted nothing so much as her big brother's complete and undivided attention.


Loki felt as if someone had just struck him directly in the heart, his chest squeezed tightly and every instinct inside of him cried to grab his little sister and comfort her with everything he had within him.


And that was exactly what he did. Feeling as if he was looking down at a kitten crying out in pain, a simple low sound of concern came from his lips as his eyes bunched up, “Ooooh! My little snow princess! What's wrong?”


Linka felt her brother's big strong arms suddenly wrap around her tightly, and pull her into his muscled chest. She breathed in the rich masculine scent of his body. He'd even used his super special nickname for her.


Snow Princess.


Shortie was reserved for his affectionate everyday conversations with her. If he didn't call her Linka, it was shortie. Something she was told he'd been calling her soon after she was born.


But Snow Princess was when he was feeling very affectionate. When his goal was to flatter her, and make her feel loved and special. It all had stemmed from how sometimes Linka's white hair bothered her. It made her worry she looked like an old lady, or there was something wrong with her.


But one day, her big brother had told her she simply looked like a little Snow Princess, right out of some fairy tale, it had changed her opinion of her hair immediately. When Loki called her that, it made her feel special and it made her feel beautiful.


In her brother's arms, hearing his soothing voice she was already feeling bliss and comfort. She could let her entire body go slack against him, which she did, as her big brother leaned in, more than happy to support her while she nestled her cute little nose and face into his chest.


She was so soft in his arms, just like Bebe was, but so very different as well. Her body was smaller, and seemed more delicate. She carried a sweet scent he enjoyed breathing in from her hair. He knew Loni would be able to tell him the exact name of the flower, but he didn't know it. It was one of her perks being the only girl.


While his brothers and he all shared the same shampoo and body wash, Linka was allowed her very own soap and shampoo. One of a decidedly more feminine brand, that made her smell all the more feminine in a house full of rowdy boys.


“Linka..” he asked again in that soft soothing tone, “Come on now, talk to me...”


She looked up at him, from in his arms, her small hands coming up to press against his chest. Some of her errant stray locks of white hair falling over her eyes.. “It was terrible Loki. I woke up, and everyone, everyone was.... everyone was gone. You'd all left me..”


Her eyes were tearing up once more, and her small body was beginning to shake slightly. Loki's response was to squeeze her tighter, which seemed to work in making her at least stop shaking.


“Hey now... You know that's just a dream. No one here would ever abandon you, or leave you behind. You know that.” Her brother's grip loosened slightly as he slipped both of his hands up to her slender shoulders.


She brought her right palm up, and used the heel of it to wipe at her eyes as she forced a smile, hearing those words, “You promise? You promise me you're never going to leave me behind or abandon me?” she asked.


Loki rolled his eyes. The prospect was silly to him. The idea he could ever abandon any of his family, let alone his sister was frankly ridiculous. But, Linka could sometimes be a little over dramatic about things. He sighed and smirked at her, squeezing her right shoulder, “I promise Shortie. Now come on, dry those tears. I take it you want to bunk with me tonight?”


The pre-teen nodded her head, still pouting a little. She was doing it slightly on purpose right now, but that was only because she wanted to be babied by her big brother.


Loki nodded in return and released his grip on her, before turning towards his bed. “Alright, let's climb back into bed. But I'm not really tired right now, so I'll probably stay up and play some videogames or something. That going to be alright with you?” he asked.


“Yeah, I don't mind. Can, can I watch?” she looked up hopefully.


Loki frowned slightly. Not because he was against Linka watching him play videogames. He really didn't mind anyone watching him do that. More because this wasn't going to be on the TV, he was going to be using his portable game station. If she wanted to watch, she was going to have to sit in his lap.


“Uh yeah, but yaknow, you'll have to sit in my lap to see the gamestation screen. That going to be okay?”


She only smiled at him and nodded her head, her chipped front tooth and freckles making her look positively angelic to her big brother right now, “I don't mind.”


Well, at least she didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest. But it did make him think, when was the last time he'd actually held Linka in his lap? It had to have been awhile. Sure he'd sat down next to her on the couch plenty of times, and even let her curl up against him. But actually sitting in his lap?

It then hit him she was going to be sharing his bed too. Loni wasn't here, there was no reason for them to gather up all the blankets and pillows and get on the floor together.


His bed was also only a full, there would be some room, but they would be touching all night no matter what position they slept in.


Loki gave a rather far off expression as he looked away, pursing his lips in thought and just decided to accept the situation. “Well, alright, you go ahead and get into bed, I'm gonna turn off the light. Go ahead and flick on the lamp.”


“Okay!” Linka replied excitedly before she was practically hopping into her big bro's bed and flicking on the nightstand lamp, just as he turned the room light off.


She spread out at first as she laid back with a giggle, her mood already improved tremendously by being here. Flopping her pretty little head down into her brother's pillow, she once more breathed in the scent of him and had the feeling of being safe, warm, and cared for flood into her.


Loki made his way over to his bed and sat down, picking up his gamestation and spreading his legs for Linka to slide between, “Alright, alright shortie, make room.”


Linka smiled and made a soft happy little sound that to Loki's ears was similar to the ones Bebe made when she was very pleased with herself for getting him to give her affection. His younger sister lifted herself up over his left leg, and then sat herself down between his legs, before slowly leaning her head back against his chest.


Ahhh....that felt so nice. Even better than the hug she'd gotten from him earlier.


Really, when was the last time she'd sat in her brothers laps like this? She couldn't even remember, it was like at a certain point within the last what was it, year and half, two years? She'd just stopped doing so. She'd still cuddle and hug them, but she didn't sit with them like this.


Loki couldn't remember either. Or when he was this alone with Linka in awhile. Sure, he'd driven her around to plenty of places, sat with her on the couch to watch TV together or play videogames. But alone, at night, in his room with nobody else the wiser? No this was a new experience.


Just as the plush, soft sensation of her little bottom coming up between his legs could be felt and was a new experience too. Linka actually had a butt. That was..different. But then their Mom was a curvy woman, it only fit that Linka was starting to take after her, she was getting older.


He forced himself not to focus on that sensation though. He'd just barely managed to get his erection under control and he didn't need to get an awkward unwanted boner because his little sister had a cute little soft butt.


For Linka, she swore Loki was well, bigger than the last time she'd sat in his lap. No, she wasn't referring to his penis, she actually meant over all. Her 17 year old brother was taller, his arms bigger and his body thicker then the last time she'd been like this with him. He was so close to full adulthood now. It felt even more special being close to him like this.


She scooted her butt around to get more comfortable, keenly aware of what she was doing as it happened. Yes she knew what she was doing on some level, a level she didn't want to acknowledge, but she justified it by saying she just wanted to get more comfortable, besides it was just her big brother right?


Loki had brought the gamestation up between his hands and flicked it on, lowering the screen enough for Linka to see too. He brought his knees up on each side of her to rest his forearms on them while he played. It was the perfect position for Linka, letting her look directly ahead to watch the action.


“What are you gonna play?” She asked curiously.


“BloodSouls, Anniversary Edition.” He replied non-nonchalantly.


Linka gasped and smiled. She loved video games, not as much as Loki did, but she found them to be fun, and most importantly, it was something she could regularly share with him to spend time together.


BloodSouls was one of her favorites.


Actually it was a special game that not only He shared with her, but their brother Lars as well.


It was a game that bonded the three siblings for different reasons, but was one of the activities they would engage in with each other. It was something that linked more than two of them. All of her siblings had multiple 'link ups' between them that would shift depending on what the activity was.


Just as clothes shopping was a link up for her, Loki, Loni, and Lexx, BloodSouls was one for her, Loki and Lars.


Bloodsouls was known to be a brutally challenging adventure game with a hauntingly detailed and dark atmosphere and setting. Loki loved the challenge, Linka loved the characters and setting, and Lars adored the music, scenery and atmosphere.


There were days where Loki would sit and play on the main gamestation downstairs while Lars and Linka would watch and look things up for him. He would give them turns and help them with their own characters and progression in the game. The three would listen to youtube videos together dissecting the lore, story, and theories behind the game.


It was something special that united the three, and right now she was sharing it with her big brother, all alone.


She looked up from her spot nestled between his legs, her head on his chest, “You're not going to get angry and throw it across the room when you die are you?” She asked with a grin.


Loki rolled his eyes but smirked, leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, “Tch, you know I'm an expert at this game now. The king of fire is gonna taste my halberd, just you watch..”


Linka had immediately felt warm when his lips touched her skin. She rarely got kisses from her older brothers now, and treasured each one. In particular she was struck by not remembering the last time Loki had kissed her so sweetly and without hesitation. This night was getting better and better.


She smiled to herself and leaned back once more into his torso, rubbing her pretty little head against his chest in an affectionate manner, her soft snow white hair falling about her features as she did so.


The sensation was very pleasant for Loki. Really, having Linka nestled up against him like this was very pleasant. The soft warm girl felt so nice where he could feel her against his bare skin. He did start to realize her nightgown was seeming a little... thin on her, maybe it was time she got a new one, but other than that he couldn't complain. She really did look like one of the heroines from some of the anime she was so fond of. Even if Loki had never really gotten into any of it himself.


He settled in, focusing on the game, while Linka herself did the same. Her eyelids going half lidded as all her bad dreams seemed to be leached out of her by her brother's affection.


They stayed like this for a little while, Loki getting himself lost in his game, while Linka seemed happy enough to be quiet and watch. If anything, Loki was happy that he wasn't focusing on his sister and how she was on the very cusp of womanhood. He'd managed to put that nice soft sensation of her bottom between his legs out of his head, as well as the pleasant weight of her body against his torso.


Linka, however, while she had been being quiet, was drinking in the whole sensation of everything around her. The way her brother's chest fell up and down with each breath he took. The steady sound of his heart, beating through his chest. The way he would tense up, and seem to tighten every muscle in his body during a difficult part, only to release and relax when it was over.


She wondered if this was what Bebe got to feel like all the time.


Okay, well obviously not all the time, more like any time she wanted and Loki was available.


Bebe's affection was so easy and free with her big brother, and he returned it to her without any hesitation on his part.


Bebe would just throw herself into his arms, and he'd catch her and swing her around like she was the most precious thing in the world to him.


Bebe could just take hold of her brother's hand and he would lace his fingers with hers automatically. He would lean in and kiss her without prompting, and she could kiss him anytime she was in his presence.


The two weren't grotesque with their PDA around others, but there was never any doubt they were lovers from anyone who saw them together.


It wasn't fair.


It wasn't fair because once that had been Linka he shared all that affection with.


She was the one he would hug and pick up anytime she threw herself into his arms. She was the one whose hand he would hold when ever she held it up and placed it into his palm. She was the one who got his kisses anytime she would look up and purse her lips at him.


But all of that had been slowly fading away.


Yes she knew her big brother still loved her, and yes she could still get his affection, but it didn't just flow from the tap like it used to. Like it did with Bebe.


She didn't like dwelling on this, not particularly when she was so happy right now being surrounded by all of him. Feeling all of him, breathing in his scent, hearing his heartbeat, touching his skin, experiencing the way his body heat warmed her.


Knowing she was going to fall asleep against him in his arms...


But how often did Bebe get to fall asleep in his arms?


It just made her realize just how much she didn't have. How rare this was now for her, and how much rarer it was going to be from this point onward. As she got older, he was only going to get more and more reluctant to do these things with her.


But he'd never stop doing them with Bebe.


Linka felt tears beginning to form at the corner of her eyes again.


Despite her intense envy, she couldn't hate Bebe either. She couldn't be mad at Bebe. Bebe was the kind of girl who deserved her big brother, she was the only girl Linka would approve of dating her big brother. Her mother and her had both secretly shared just how happy they were with Loki's choice in girlfriend to each other, and Rita had been more than happy to approve of the 'Girl's nights' that Bebe and Linka would share together.


So she couldn't be mad at Bebe. She couldn't hate her. She couldn't hate the big sister she always wanted.


A brief, mad idea flitted through Linka's head, one born of desperation. Why couldn't Bebe just share Loki with her? Then the three of them could be happy together, couldn't they? Bebe loved her too, surely she wouldn't mind if she was in the picture as well, right?


Linka knew that wasn't realistic, and the idea died in her head moments later. She also couldn't tell what it was she exactly wanted from her big brother either.


She knew she wanted him, his affection, his time, and his attention. But she knew she wanted more, even if she didn't know what that more was.


Or worse, she didn't want to admit to herself what that more was.


She knew exactly what it was, but she also knew it was wrong and so every time she began to come up to that precipice of saying exactly what it was she wanted in her mind, she would stop, turn and mentally flee.


There was just no way. No realistic way, no chance of her getting.... getting that. So why even bother letting the fantasies fully take place in her head. Loki would only ever see her as his little sister, and, and if he found out just what she'd been avoiding thinking about with him...


Well wouldn't he turn away from her in complete disgust anyway? Would he tell their Mom and Dad? she had a feeling he would be kind enough not to share it with their brothers, but he would probably never hug her again, look at her, call her his Snow Princess.


Linka felt so low right now. Her head was drooping, her shoulders were hunching, and what should have been a night of comfort and warmth was turning into one where her heart was twisting in knots, and sinking in her chest.


She felt her brother's strong hand on her right shoulder. She suddenly looked up at the videogame screen and realized he'd parked his character near a safe zone. His voice came soft and concerned, “Linka, what's wrong?”


“N-n-nothing. Just getting tired is all.” she responded, lying.


Loki knew she wasn't telling the truth. What had begun as a pleasant comfortable silence while he played had turned to him increasingly noticing Linka was turning something over in her head again and again, and clearly it was causing her distress.


“Linka... come on now. What's bothering you?”


He heard her breathe out, her hands were in her lap now, fingers fidgeting with one another, toes on her feet pressing together. She knew Loki wouldn't let it be, just like their Mom and Dad, it probably came with the territory of him being the oldest. He sensed something was wrong and he wouldn't stop until he got an answer of some kind from her.


She looked up at him, with blue eyes that matched his own, speaking to the lineage they shared, wishing suddenly she wasn't his little sister. “Loki...” she paused, and he waited. “Have you and Bebe.... have you been having sex?”


The question caught Loki completely off guard. It threw the elder boy, and he actually leaned back in shock until said back hit the headboard with a 'thunk'. Her brother's eyes were wide and he responded almost incredulously.


“Wh-wh-what? Linka? Where is this coming from?” He asked with a small trace of a nervous chuckle.


Linka turned her smaller body around, now she was facing him, and she even lain forward against his chest, her soft little boobs suddenly pressing against his torso. Loki realized she wasn't wearing a bra.


“Loki....I just, I just want to know..” Linka responded.


Loki continued to feel nervous, he tried to look away, look anywhere else then those big blue eyes that were so focused on him. Her small form felt very nice against him too, and he came to the realization she was the same size as Bebe was in the chest region. Which meant proportionally hers looked bigger given her shorter stature and smaller frame.


That seemed like a detail he really didn't need to focus on right now with her.


“Why do you want to know Linka? Don't you think that's a little personal?”


Linka frowned, her forehead crinkling as her eyes narrowed up, “Because Loni, Luke, Lane, and Lynn know. Because I already know too, but I want to hear it come from you. I don't want to be left out.”

That brought another look of shock and surprise to Loki's lips. “How do you kno-” he stopped himself but too late. Saying that practically confirmed it, but more to the point, he had a good idea how she knew already. His sweet, but sometimes flaky girlfriend. Bebe must have said something to Linka by mistake.


He groaned and brought his hand to his forehead.. “Bebe” he muttered.


Linka nodded as she folded her arms over his chest, and propped her head up on them. This relieved the sensation of her chest against his own somewhat, but not completely. Loki sighed, “Okay, yes, I'm... active, with Bebe... why is that so important?”


Linka had already known the truth, but hearing it come from her brother's lips, to confirm it fully made her hurt just a little more. She didn't know why she needed him to say it to her directly, maybe indeed it was because she didn't want to feel left out. But she had needed to hear it from him. She could think of at least one other reason to give though.


“Because tomorrow I'm spending the night with Bebe.... and because maybe, I have questions..” she said slowly, her gaze returning to him again, “Maybe I have questions about it...and I want, I want another girl's perspective. One who knows what it's like, so she can tell me about it.”


Loki's face turned red, he'd dropped the gamestation completely and threw his hands up responding in a panicked tone, “Linka! She only has experience with me! That means I'll be the basis for every single answer and explanation she gives you!”


That part, that part actually excited Linka a little. Even if it was Bebe telling her, and even if it was her personal experiences with Loki, Linka was still slightly thrilled at getting to potentially hear naughty things about her big brother.


She looked up at him almost grinning devilishly as she shrugged a shoulder, “So? It's still experience right? And Bebe is someone you trust to teach me about these things more than anyone else right?”


Loki put both of his hands over his face and let out another groan as he turned more and more red.


“This is literally the most embarrassing moment in my life.”


Linka only giggled looking up at him, feeling like she had to tease him more.. “Oh come on big bro, you don't like your little sister learning about what you get up to with your girlfriend?” That grin was downright evil now.


Loki moved his hands from his face looking back at her with absolute shock, “Linka!”

Linka practically giggled with absolute hysteria.

Just then the Bedroom door swung open.


Around ten minutes earlier, an old busted up maroon van from the circa 1980s, and 'God save the Queen' by the sex pistols blaring from it's speakers came rolling through the suburban Royal Woods neighborhood. The van rolled up directly in front of the Loud House, crawling along to a stop with squeaky breaks. The music was lowered and the old sliding door on the van swung open.


Two teenage boys one with a large auburn faux hawk, the other with long blonde hair and a teal stripe in his bangs came almost rolling out from the opened door. Laughing and patting each other on the back, hooting and hollering, throwing their hands up into the air excitedly.


A gruff feminine voice issued from the interior..


“Great Set tonight fellas!”


The auburn haired boy, dressed in a denim vest festooned with various counter culture pins, a purple t-shirt emblazoned with a skull, and tight plaid pants that hugged his legs and ended with black doc martens on his feet, grinned and raised both both middle fingers on his hands up in the air, “Thanks Dude! We fuckin killed it tonight!”


The blonde boy with the teal streak, wore a teal leather jacket, a white t-shirt underneath emblazoned with an Anarchy symbol, and burgundy jeans that ended in tall purple combat boots, slapped his companion on the back and simply waved at the driver, “Thanks Bunnie! Best Rhodie ever!”


The gruff feminine voice inside replied, “Right luvs, you get yourself some sleep. Ring me in the afternoon.”


Luke, the Auburn haired boy then took hold of the van door, “You got it dude!” before he slammed it shut and stepped back. A moment later the Van fired up again, rattled about and drove off..


Sam, the blonde haired boy watched it vanish into the distance, a thick trail of smoke coming from the exhaust pipe.


Sam turned to look at his companion when the van was gone, Luke turned and met his gaze, brown eyes meeting blue... and then suddenly the two boys were on each other, arms wrapped firmly around each other's torsos, lips pressed together with all the needy passion of two horny teenage boys who genuinely felt deep affection for one another.


They kissed like that, in front of the house for a few minutes, giggling, laughing in between each exchange of lips, hands on each other's cheeks, before Luke finally pulled back, his hands on his best friend and lover's chest... “Dude, dude, hold on.. we're not going to even make it inside at this rate..”


Sam grinned, his eyes practically twinkling and then responded looking a little nervous, “Luke, are you sure about this? You've got like a million brothers, you're absolutely positive we can have a room all to our self?”


Luke clapped his boyfriend on the shoulder, smirking as his paper clip earings swung, “Relax babe. I told you, I worked this all out ahead of time. Just you and me, and some much needed privacy..”


Sam took hold of Luke's cheeks, leaned in and kissed him under his eyes just over his cheek bones, the place Luke's freckles were. It was the spot Sam considered cutest on Luke's face.“Fuck, I love it when you're so confident and sure like this..”


Luke laughed at the affectionate gesture as he brought his hands round and slapped his boyfriend's ass, gripping it for a moment playfully before turning to face the House. “Come on, come on, let's get inside, but we gotta totally be quiet goin up the stairs. My sister and some of my brothers will still be home, and I don't wanna play 20 questions with them when I can be kissing you instead.”


Sam blushed profusely, and then swung his arm over Luke's shoulder. Luke, likewise did the same, and the two boys made their way up the walk together, trying to keep their giggles, excitement and laughs under control.


Somehow they'd managed to get the front door open, and then very stepped to the staircase and began the ascent to the upper floor.


Every few feet they'd stop, if only to exchange a quick kiss, a quick hug, or a squeeze with one another. They were both feeling elated over their show going so well earlier in the night, and at the prospect of getting a room, all to themselves for a few hours. Luke was still a little self-conscious about his relationship with Sam, something he was still working on, so he was always happy when they got to be alone together and he didn't have to worry about anything but the boy he loved.


Reaching the top floor, Luke led his companion down the hall stepping quietly.....and right past the room he shared with Lane, having no intention of stopping there.


Instead he stopped right in front of the door that belonged to his two oldest brothers, Loki and Loni.


Sam hugged him from behind, laying his head on Luke's shoulder, whispering to him. “You sure this is going to be alright?”


Luke fished around in his pocket and withdrew a key, sliding it into the lock, “Totally dude, I told you, both my older brothers are gone, their room is completely open and empty.”


It was then Luke swung the door open.... and was met with the surprised looking faces of his eldest brother and only sister. Staring right back at him.








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