The Simpsons Blues: The Ex-Husband's Revenge

BY : Wendell Urth
Category: +S through Z > Simpsons
Dragon prints: 3922
Disclaimer: The Simpsons and all associated characters belong to their respective creators and owners, not me. I receive no compensation whatsoever for this story. Please don’t sue me, I got nothing!

Chapter 1: Three Weeks Earlier.

“Hello Mother Simpson” came the voice from the behind the front pew of the First Church of Springfield. From under her veil, Marge peeked out. There was only one person who called her that, her daughter’s ex, Millhouse.

“I didn’t know you were back in town, dear.”

“I was in Shelbyville for a couple of weeks when I heard about Homer.” Then, “Hello, Lisa… Maggie. Sorry to hear about Homer.”

“Hello Millhouse, thank you” replied Maggie with a small sad smile. She elbowed Lisa in the ribs. Lisa continued to sit stone faced, waited a moment “Lo, Millhouse.” Without looking at him she stood and exited the pew in the opposite direction.

Maggie sighed. “I’ll go after her mom. Good to see you again, Millhouse. Will you be staying in Springfield long?” She asked, meaning it wouldn’t be a good idea if he did.

He moved down and sat beside his ex-mother-in-law. “No one can hold a grudge like a Simpson girl, huh?”

Marge smiled. “You look good, Milly.” He did, although he had lost his hair young, he seemed to be in terrific shape. Part of it, was that he was no longer yellow. Having the semi-permanent skin condition unique to Springfield’s air/water/soil contamination treated was expensive.  He was unrecognizable as the weakling who had left Lisa after five years of marriage. Or she had left him, depending on who was gossiping.

In Springfield there was no news, only gossip.

“I am sorry about Homer. I didn’t really hear about it until this morning.”

She put her hand on his knee. “I should have gotten in touch sooner. It’s just…” she gestured helplessly in the direction the girls had just gone in.

“I’ll leave in a few moments. I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I always liked Homer. Even in spite of the… the problem.”

She snorted. A small laugh. “The problem. Yes. Nice euphemism.”

He smiled again. “I thought Bart might be here…”

“He tried to get compassionate leave, but at the last minute they found contraband in his cell. I don’t know what… Ahh, foolish, foolish boy!” shaking her head.

More brightly, Millhouse asked, “I hear he is coming up for parole this year.”

“He’s eligible, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Too many issues. Of course, they’re never his fault. Nothing ever is.” Then looking at him for a moment. “I want to thank you for what you said about Homer. I think it made a big difference with the judge and later the parole board.”

“Marge… I just wanted to say…” he hesitated. “You know I had no choice, I had to testify. I couldn’t…”

She patted his hand. “I know dear. I know.” She gripped his hand tightly for a moment, closed her eyes.

“I’ll be at the Shelbyville Villa for the next couple of weeks, then I can be reached at my office in Capital City, if there’s anything you need. I mean that, Marge. Anything. Lisa doesn’t need to know. Just call me.”

She leaned over, kissed him on the cheek. He hugged her for a moment and walked up the aisle.

Lot of faces, familiar and unfamiliar watched him. Stoney silence before him, a wave of whispers followed him. He didn’t stop to chat. He wasn’t one of them anymore, thank God. He was done with these assholes, had been for years. There was a time when he had been concerned with what they thought of him, what they said about him. There was only one person in this entire sad, stupid town whose opinion meant anything to him.

She hated him. That made him happy.

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