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Reviews for Crossed Lines

By : Belfry
  • From ANON - Darkon on August 15, 2012
    Another great chapter. It had the perfect balance of plot AND poon, exactly what I look for in these kinds of stories! I can sympathize with Johnny's crappy math skills, though he at least has the excuse of being thirteen, heh.

    My one complaint with this chapter is that I feel you had Susan knocked up a little too early. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I also figured that she was perfectly content at this stage to attempt to win over Johnny solely through increasingly kinkier sex. I was half-right about it in the end, but all the same I would've preferred if you held it off at least until Susan caught wind of Mary's own plan. On the bright side, this will make the story much more interesting, MUCH MORE QUICKLY. Johnny's gonna have a stroke when he finds out about this, though I suspect that will be nothing compared to what his parents will do, assuming they find out of course!

    Beyond that one little flaw, the chapter was otherwise fantastic. As I said in the beginning, you've struck a perfect balance of relevant plot and sexy time, and that's not necessarily easy to do. Most stories I read these days are either PWP's or what I call "plots without porn", haha. It's good to read something that hits the middle ground. More importantly, I feel that you have captured the personalities of the twins (Mary as the honest empath, Susan as the obsessive antisocial) and the others perfectly; the TV show itself couldn't have done a better job in that department. Keep that up above all else!
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  • From ANON - Darkon on August 12, 2012
    Johnny handled Mary's confession quite well, though somehow I don't think he'll be nearly as gracious when he finds out he unknowingly knocked her up, haha.

    Seriously though, Mary's really playing a dangerous game here. I knew full well that she was a few cans short of a six-pack when I read Vic's story, but at the time I figured even she would've realized getting impregnated by her own brother would be a no-no. The fact that she appears to have every intention to carry it to term tells me she's even more warped than I thought.

    How chapter 9 is going to unfold is anybody's guess, but it wouldn't surprise me if Susan decided to follow the same course. I can't even imagine how difficult things would become after that, not to mention awkward.
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  • From LadyTsunadeSama on July 14, 2012
    I will never be able to watch Johnny Test again...without thinking perverted thoughts. This was great! Thanks for giving me new reason to watch that show again!
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