Reviews for What's wrong with me?By : ItwasMerlin |
To sailor nemesis, thank you for your valid points . Just thought I would reply (although I'm sure I'm not aloud on here ) . I want to put your mind at rest that when they fuck it won't be even near the end. I've got some good plot points I really want to get into that definitely aren't Oral based haha. It's just working out when to pull the trigger on it . Also as to my writing, I get that too and repetivness is something I'll work on.
Many thanks Merlin
I'm glad to read chap7, I hope you continue writing regularly. I like Astrid's pussy-hair, hope to have that mentioned more. I'd like her to have pit-hair also but I'll take what I can get. I'm enjoying the story but a few points. The oral sex is defineitly repetitive. I enjoyed the ass-play, but he's stopped at oral for far too long. It's time for some full on fucking. Anal sex would also be great if you want to hold off on vaginal for a LITTLE longer, but I really want to get there soon. It sometimes feels like intercourse would be the end of the story and there is no need for that. We can spend as much time with fucking as we did with oral and go on for some time. If the concern is somehow about her hymen, there is an excellent chance it would have torn from her lifestyle already.
Also, too many reminders about the hypnosis. It's enough to mention it two or three times, then we remember she is entranced. No need to reference it in practically every paragraph. Overall good, I'm definitely interested. Hope to read more soon.
Chapter update was great! Hope you don't lose motivation to finish, because I'd like to see where this turns outs!
man this story is so good when are we getting another chapter?
Hey, I know this is out of nowhere but would you take on a request? Could you make a smuty pseudo crossover between Httyd and God of War? For some time I have wanted to "see" a shy and quirky Hiccup (more or less the same as the first movie) fucking Persephone and Aphrodite (here is the pseudo part. The personalities in canon wouldn't work here so they need to be changed.)
I'm guessing this story is dead then, What a shame :(
You know in this last chapter would have been even better if the choice was to suck Mildew in the village under the power of the stone, in wich case she could at least say she was controlled, or voluntarily suck the 'stranger' without any command, so she'd know she's doing it herself. Actually it could become quite the game, do something that could get her discovered, but under the stone's influence, or do something voluntarily in the privacy of the cove. Also i have quite a funny idea: why not order her to strip completely naked before coming to the cove every morning, and she cannot cover herself until she's back home after her training, some forced nudity coupled with the thrill of *unwanted* exhibitionism would do wonders for her attitude.
Hey i really enjoyed this chapter. r u going to hve mildew and astrid meet each other next chapter or sooner?
I think Astrid should keep herself trimmed or at the request of mildew wax it so it stays bald.
It was good, glad to see more. Definitely too long since last update. Keep up the sex and domination. Try to give Astrid as much pit and pubic hair as possible, she should be a natural gal. Looking forward to more. She needs regular deep-throat training.
Loved it, maybe the next day when Astrid wakes up the next morning she feels disgusted with herself because at the same time while knowing she has full control of her movements her body seemed to ache to feel the same rough treatment he gave her while demeaning her with words that slowly wring true every session they have or hiccup was the one that called Astrid a cold cunt which disguise mildew called Astrid but doesn't believe him until while on the other island she accidentally overhears what hiccup called her, Astrid heart broken and the only one who could make her feel better was the mysterious masked man, when she see's him again Astrid tells him at this point she'll be what he wants her to be and do anything he wants without question and/or hesitation like live with him forever because all Astrid wants right now is to feel nothing but the pleasure he gives her body and call her those sweet demeaning words that now make her body ache to be used like one which is now who she is and says she wouldn't care even if all this time it was mildew and Astrid would make herself disappear leaving no trace of her ever existing except leaving her dragon alive. (Even mildew is not that cruel to force her to kill it) Astrid just wants to feel so much pleasure that she forgets her past and everyone including her dragon except for mildew so she can begin her new life in eternal pleasure with mildew as his slutty whore of a wife. Do you think you could combined both ideas, of course all this'll be further down the road but it would make great reading only if this works with what you have in mind for the story?
Not bad, wish new chapters would come (haha) more often
The Mildew/Astrid pairing is so strange it works . Much like your odd pairings this one is also great .
My hopes for the story ? Astrid becomes the old man's sex slave willingly and loved every minute of it . Clearly she likes the humiliation even if it's thoughts she doesn't understand .
Obviously you've just updated your castle one , love it by the way , but please update this soon aswell .
well here's a real twisted thing: instead of seeing the masked man even when Mildew wears no mask, make her see one of her friends everytime she looks at him
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