Beauties, Bounties and Bullets

BY : neoraichu
Category: -Misc Cartoons > General
Dragon prints: 738
Disclaimer: Loosely based on 'The Legend of Calamity Jane'. Calamity Jane, Wild Bill Hickok, Joe Presto, and others owned by Kid's WB. Annie Oakley is a historical figure. Not historically accurate. No money is being made off this story in any way.

by neoraichu

(This takes place about 14 months after the last episode)

"Wild Bill's back!" rang the cry across Deadwood.

He was the kind of man who knew how to attract a crowd and hold their attention. After a year back east, even the folk of Deadwood heard of the spreading fame of his Wild West Show. More than 120 people touring Europe and inspiring the imagination of Americans with lurid newspaper articles and tell all books. Somehow, a crowd gathered at the train station even though no one was supposed to know which train he was coming in on.

Stepping from the train, his fine suit and spiffy hair made him look larger than life and just as handsome. One could hardly notice the streak of gray that was starting in his long mane of golden blonde hair.

"You didn't have to," he announced with 'modesty'.

"Is the Wild West Show coming here?!" asked someone from the crowd.

"No," he mused, "You already live the life. Not much point in telling you what you already know."

The crowd blinked.

"One of my star attractions wanted me to bring her out to the Old West to see it for herself," he replied, "And I mean the Old West, not just the easy to reach parts. In fact, I'd love to introduce you all to her right now."

The crowd looked at the young woman just behind, staring at all of her buckskin clothes and her long mane of curly black hair reaching down to her belt. She appeared both manish and somehow feminine at the same time. Her soft face was offset by the two revolvers around her waist in a fast draw rig and the lever action rifle she had strapped across her back. There was also a Arkansas Toothpick in her boot and silver spurs on her heels.

"I'd like for all of you to meet one of the big stars of my Wild West Show: ANNIE OAKLEY!"

"Bill Bill," she sighed as she stepped up, "What will I ever do with a big, fat liar like you?"

The crowd fell silent.

"I'm nobody special," she continued, "The star of the show is the one with his name in the title. I'm just some hired help who helps with ticket sales."

"See what I have to put up with?" chuckled Bill, "Her modesty is killing me."

The crowd chuckled nervously.

He scanned the crowd before he said, "Well, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't give the loyal folks in Deadwood a free show of Annie's skills, now wouldn't I?"

The crowd cheered wildly.

"Funny," mused Bill as he looked around, "There's someone I don't see here."

"Miss Jane is handing someone over to the Sheriff's Office," offered Joe.

Much to their surprise, Annie got off the platform and made her way through the crowd. The townsfolk moved aside for her.

"There she is," she said as Calamity walked down the street.

"Do I know you?" replied Jane.

"After listening to Wild Bill carrying on about you," mused Annie, "I feel I know you better than I know my own sister: Calamity Jane Canary."

"Wait," said Joe, "How are you sure..."

"Oh, the copper red hair, porcelain white skin, deep green eyes, and those pouting lips... I'm sure I got my woman."

The townsfolk seemed surprised as if they never really paid attention to those... details about Calamity.

"Well allow me," said Bill as he quickly stepped up, "This is..."

"The Legendary Bounty Hunter Calamity Jane," said Annie.

He coughed before he continued, "This is one of the attractions of my Wild West Show: Annie Oakley. She's... always wanted to come this far west."

"Oh, where do you hail from?" asked Jane.

"Woodland, Ohio," replied Bill.

"Oh... I guess that's not that far west," she mused.

"Well, we've been touring Europe," he answered, "Too busy to actually go back West."

"So what do you do in the show?" she mused.

"Oh this and that," replied Annie.

"See? Modest," chuckled Bill, "Pretty much masters whatever she puts her mind to, though more often than not with guns: Revolvers, rifles, shotguns, trick shooting, horseback shooting, knife throwing, lassoing to name a few. She also have a few... very nice guns. A collector of sorts."

"Ivory handled Colt Single Action Army aka Peacemakers? 1873 Winchester Lever Action? Are those expensive guns just for show?" asked Jane.

"Janey!" scolded Joe.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll see how showy they are... tomorrow," said Annie with a smirk.

"Yes," replied Jane, "Yes we will."

"The show starts tomorrow at the northern edge of town..." he said ominously, "at High Noon."

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