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And A Milkshake To Go	By : Roseclaw Category: +1 through F > Ed, Edd, and Eddy Views: 7277 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Ed Edd and Eddy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-And A Milkshake To Go
- 1
All rights and privileges to Ed, Edd n Eddy are copyrighted trademarks and property of Danny Antonucci, AKA Cartoons, Cartoon Network, and all peoples associated. The characters of these fictions are used WITHOUT permission for the entertainment purposes only. This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit. As if anyone would actually pay money for this thoughtless drivel. And even if they like it, it's right here and money is not required. So there! Bottom line: I don't own them I just like to play God with them. Like an ant walking back and forth across my feet for what seems like miles upon miles. Or a bug with a magnifying glass as it slowly burns into nothingness. *Ahem* Yes, I don't own them. Never have. Never will. *Sigh*

And A Milkshake To Go

As per usual, an entire chain of events was started with a failed attempt to scam. The entire cul-de-sac was in the teenage years, the oldest, Rolf, was 19, and the youngest, Jimmy, was 13, leaving the Eds in the higher teens – meaning that the three of them should have proper minimum wage jobs and should therefore not spend time thinking up and executing scams.

Truthfully, Edd had a job: he worked part time at the library. He figured it was a job that he would love, and he did not need to worry about Ed or Eddy stumbling in on him by mistake. And above all, he liked having a secret.

Eddy had wanted to sell a love potion. And he wanted it to really work. He had wizened in all his years of scamming and was going to test it on Edd’s mice so that they knew it would work before he sold it to his pigeons.

With a defeated sigh and no thought as to the outcome if unleashed upon the cul-de-sac, Edd had created an unstable combination of chemicals with aphrodisiac qualities. It was a terrible shade of pink and thick, like a strawberry milkshake. And it smelt worse than Ed’s pits.

“Eddy,” Edd whispered urgently. “No one would want to put this on their person, it’s too vile.”

Eddy peered over his shoulder. “It looks like a milkshake to me,” he shrugged.

“It smells like home!” Ed proclaimed.

“Yes, Ed, it does - Which, Eddy, is precisely why no one would want to put it on.”

“How does it work?” Eddy wanted to know.

“It’s as potent as two doses of Viagra for both the wearer and whoever smells it. It reacts with a chemical in a person’s skin where it – Oh, don’t you even think that you’re going to use this on the cul-de-sac!” Edd held the container of stink to his chest. “That would be rape! Good Lord! I’ve creating something that could be used – in the wrong hands! In your hands!” He pointed accusingly at Eddy.

“Ed,” Eddy spoke cockily, “get the milkshake from Double D.”

“Can do, buckaroo!”

He approached Edd menacingly.

“Ed, you know you don’t want to do that!” Edd’s voice had a hysterical edge to it.

“I don’t?”

“Yes, you do!” Eddy countered.

“I do?” Ed stopped, confused. He could take orders well but not when they contradicted each other.

Edd relaxed, just in time for Eddy to sneak up on him and snag the container. Edd, however, was not about to give up without a fight and kept an iron grip on the container. They ended up struggling, and it upended all over Edd.

“Well, I could see that one coming,” he muttered. He took a deep breath to try to calm himself and ended up gagging on the fumes produced by the rancid milkshake of doom.

Ed and Eddy were staring at him funnily.

Edd’s eyes widened to comic proportions. Blood pooled to his face as well as another part of his body. The chemicals – no way, Ed and Eddy were male, it should have only worked on those of the opposite sex!

“OUT!” he screamed.

Ed and Eddy just stood there.

“Get the hell out!” he seethed.

The vulgarity knocked the other Eds out of their trance, and they scrambled for the door.

Edd bolted it behind them.

Something uncoiled pleasantly in the bottom of his stomach… At least the chemicals had worked. And now he had to burn his notes so that an incident such as this would not have to be repeated.

But first, he needed a shower, and desperately. He smelt like he had spent an afternoon in Ed’s room.

The doorbell rang, just as he had removed his shirt.

He ignored it.

“Maybe thrk’srk’s not home,” he heard Kevin suggest.

“Were those not the other Ed-boy’s running away?” Rolf asked.

No! Edd was tutoring the two boys in calculus. And they had to choose now, of all times, to show up.

“Maybe he’s on the can or something. Locked, damn. Let’s try the back door.”

The door that Edd had forgotten to lock.

Edd tried to call down to them, he tried to tell them that he wasn’t capable of tutoring them at the moment, but his mouth was not able to form the words. And all the blood from his brain was succumbing to gravity… stopping half way to his feet. It wasn’t a particularly bad feeling, just forced and entirely inappropriate.

“Hey, Double Dweeb? You here?” Kevin called from the base of the stairs.

Edd stood at the top of stairs, staring down at Kevin and Rolf, licking his lips and completely shirtless.

“Is the Edd boy quite right?” Rolf whispered to Kevin.

“Hey! Quite starin’ and come down here and tutor us. My mom will wig out if I fail another exam.”

“I – I’m af… afraid I, well I can’t, that is…not today… due to – to…” Edd couldn’t choke out the rest of the sentence, not looking down at the two boys and wondering how well they performed.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. “Whatever, dork.” His eyes then settled on Edd’s crotch.

“Whoa.” He smirked wickedly. “Hey, Rolf, you ever heard of the term double-team?”

“Yes, but there is no orange ball…”

Kevin pointed up the stairs.

“Oh! Rolf understands.”

Edd sprinted into his room and locked the door behind him. The friction caused by his shorts when they rubbed up against him was unbearable. He shoved his hand down them to adjust himself.

Rolf and Kevin were right behind him, taking two steps at a time but ended up on the wrong side of the door.

“Come on out, Double D, we just want to help you with your problem, as a payment for helping our grades,” Kevin sang through the door.

“NO!” Edd shouted from the sanctuary of his room. “Go away!”

“Is the Edd boy shy?”

“Come on, Double D, it’s not like you’re not horny.”

“Is THAT your excuse?!” Edd shrieked, unconsciously stroking himself. He had his back to the wall in an effort to keep himself upright. “I’m horny, you’re horny, let’s fuck?!”

“Whoa dude, paraphrase much?”

“What Kev boy is saying is that, yes, that is true, but we did not have the urge to do so until stepping over the threshold – ”

“I know EXACTLY what he means! He means that one of Eddy’s scams went horribly awry, ending with ME covered in a very POWERFUL aphrodisiac and two guys standing outside my door drooling like I was a PIECE of MEAT! Now, WHERE did I misinterpret what Kevin was SAYING?!”

“Are you saying that it’s Eddy’s fault I feel like I’m going to burst?” Kevin demanded.

“Yes!”

“I’m gonna pound that dork, but first, I’m gonna pound your ass. Rolf, go around.”

“Around?” Edd squeaked.

“Yeah, around.” Kevin’s voice dropped an octave, sending a shiver down Edd’s spine and causing him to break out in a sweat. Yes, Edd was a virgin, an inexperienced one too – he hadn’t even kissed anyone (even though Marie had kissed him thousands of times… and Ed once because of a piece of accursed mistletoe and Eddy once on one of Kevin’s kinky whims), but with the help of an aphrodisiac, he could loose all of that. He didn’t want to, though.

“Kevin, please don’t!” Edd begged, his breath speeding up to keep pace with his hand. “Not only would the consummation be entirely nonconsensual, as well as having no basis in emotion, just carnal instinct that really isn’t an instinct because we are all of the same gender and –”

“Sex doesn’t know gender,” Kevin replied huskily through the door. Edd would never have guessed that Kevin would be so open-minded, but now was not the time to discuss philosophy on the matter. “At least my boyfriend doesn’t mind…”

Edd’s breath hitched. “Boyfriend?”

“Do not be so alarmed, he who wears a sock on his head.”

Rolf was sitting in his window sill, which alarmed Edd more so that the fact that Kevin had a boyfriend.

“Rolf?! How did you – ”

“Awesome!” Kevin cheered from the other side of the door. “Now let me in, Rolf.”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Edd cried.

“And how will you stop me, hand in pants Edd boy?” Rolf jeered.

Edd looked down, horrified to find his hand still in his shorts, and then he looked up to see Rolf towering over him with a smug leer on his face.

Rolf reached out and put a finger to Edd’s lips. “The time for silly talk is over.”

Without meaning to, Edd’s tongue reached out of its own accord and started to bathe Rolf’s finger. Rolf’s other hand was planted on Edd’s thigh, worming its way up toward its prize. His mouth clamped down on Edd’s throat and was performing some very interesting tricks with his teeth and tongue.

Edd gasped, writhed, and moaned, none of which did him any good.

“Rolf!” Kevin whined from the other side of the door. “Let me in!”

Rolf detached his hand from Edd’s upper thigh and opened the door. Edd whimpered at the lost contact.

“Hey, dude, you started without me, no fair,” Kevin groused, pushing his way into Edd’s room. He immediately latched on to Edd.

The pure stimulation of it all was killing Edd. He had Rolf in front of him, with his hot mouth on his throat, hands up his shorts, and he had Kevin behind him doing things with his mouth and hands that would make a whore blush.

“Stop,” Edd groaned.

“Can’t stop, D,” Kevin panted.

“It’s rape,” he choked out.

Rolf and Kevin withdrew instantly, causing him to fall on the floor. Well, now Edd knew that they loathed the idea of nonconsensual sex.

Kevin growled in frustration.

“Rolf is not pleased.” Edd had never heard that tone in Rolf’s voice: it was husky, deep, and dangerous… and went straight to his groin. His balls were becoming very heavy and tingled.

They just stared at him on the floor. Even though he had the important bits covered, he felt exposed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly. “I know it’s my fault, but I can’t.”

“The Edd boy may watch,” Rolf declared.

“Watch?” he choked. At the idea of voyeurism, his balls drew up, and he came violently in his shorts with a loud groan and furious shudder. And he was still hard.

“Yeah,” Kevin breathed. “Watch my boyfriend and I go at it.”

Without bothering to correct his grammar, Edd just started at Kevin. “You and Rolf?”

Kevin nodded.

Edd looked at Rolf. “You and Kevin?”

Rolf nodded.

In some twisted part of his mind, Edd figured that it made sense. They did spend all of their time together… Just like he spent all of his time with Ed and Eddy. But he wasn’t like that. He liked Nazz and her large breasts. He figured that maybe he would even like Sarah, if she wasn’t so frightening.

Edd was then hit with the sudden realization as ty Nay Nazz always declined Kevin’s advances: Girls could sense that type of thing, like a sort of radar that declared in bold neon letters “I am not worth your time, because I like to take it up the ass.”

Now that led to the question of why he was allowing the two boys to violate him. Funny how violation could feel so wonderful. Edd blamed Eddy for the chemical spill and vowed (this time earnestly) that he would never aid him in another scam ever again. That was only if he made it out alive, which at the moment, it didn’t feel like it. He had already climaxed, there was no reason for him to still be hard as a rock. The intensity of the chemicals made it painful for him to do anything especially stroke himself, which, he realized slowly, was exactly what he was doing.

And that was when Kevin and Rolf started to go at it. The boys clung to each other as if it was the end of the world. For all Edd knew, it could have been.

Kevin backed Rolf up against the edge of Edd’s bed. Their mouths were fused together and Edd swore that he had seen some tongue.

This all did not help Edd’s current situation, and when Kevin stuck his hand down Rolf’s pants, he knew he was lost in the two boys entangled next to his bed.

Rolf bucked his hips in response to Kevin’s hand causing both of them to lose their balance and collapse onto Edd’s bed.

“Oh no!” Edd cried. There was no way that he wanted stains on his sheets. He jumped to his feet causing him much unnecessary pain, and his shorts were very gooey from his untimely climax.

Kevin had Rolf’s shirt off by the time Edd reached his bed. The sight of Rolf’s bared chest and abdomen brought saliva to Edd’s (and Kevin’s) mouth and made their cocks stand at attention. Good Lord, the kid was built. Not the fake build, like Kevin that came from too many reps at the gym, but the true build that came from toiling day in and out on a farm.

Edd foggily remembered that he too was shirtless and did not have the body of an athlete or of anyone that spent time farming or in a gym. He was a geek and had the physique to prove it. The embarrassment was short-lived and stuffed into the back of his mind for the time being.

It was Edd’s plan to separate the boys and to tell them to continue elsewhere, but Rolf’s muscles had changed his mind for him. It irked Edd that those muscles were so persuasive and had not consulted him first so that an executive decision would be reached. He didn’t even like hard muscles, he liked soft curves. Damn hormones.

So instead of kicking them both out of his room and house, Edd dropped to his knees in front of Rolf, forgetting about Kevin the moment he was out of sight.

Edd practically tore Rolf’s pants open in his haste. It didn’t matter that he had never had this done to him before, or that he had never done this to anyone before. All that mattered was that he could (with the help of the chemical spill) and the Rolf wouldn’t care how bad it was, because he was under the influence as well. Edd fleetingly wondered if Kevin was good at it and how much practice he had. He became instantly self-conscious and withdrew.

“Do not even think of it, Edd boy!” Rolf growled. He then grabbed the back of Edd’s skull and pulled it toward him.

He had read about this type of situation. He knew what to so that he wouldn’t gag or choke; he knew how to maximize Rolf’s pleasure… Rolf was uncut and hung, and he knew how much more he could do with that than - He knew that he really knew too much when he could cite sex manuals. He also knew what felt good when he used it on himself. He was a virgin, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know the pleasures of his own hand. He was a guy: if he didn’t he would explode on his own and it would be a lot more painful than bringing himself to release.

Edd licked his lips and buried his face in Rolf’s crotch. He stuck out his tongue and tentatively licked Rolf from tip to base. Rolf shuddered and let out a shaky moan, building Edd’s confidence.

Edd reached out grabbing the base and using his mouth, sucked the tip. It wasn’t as bad as Edd had had anticipated. Well, there was the taste, but it was just a siffecffect. It was like a popsicle that didn’t melt in your mouth, it became hotter and harder.

He wondered how much money Eddy would make if Edd invented a popsicle that did just that. Then he remembered that he had sworn never to aid Eddy with another scam ever again.

Rolf squirmed under him and Edd decided to throw in a little variety. His courageous hand ventured from the base to the testicles.

Rolf grunted in response, bucking his hips. Edd had no idea if the grunt was a good thing or not, but he began to massage Rolf’s testicles. Edd decided to lick Rolf again, this time, however, he scraped his teeth along the shaft and pressed his tongue through his gap.

Rolf bucked his hips again, shoving more of himself into the hot confines of Edd’s mouth. Edd’s automatic response was to let go and back away, which he did, right into Kevin.

“Kevin!” he squeaked in surprise. Kevin was kneeling behind him and his sudden jump had pushed his ass right into Kevin’s hard-on.

Before Edd could escape, Kevin’s hands wrapped around his hips and took hold of Edd’s own hard-on through his shorts. The sudden contact made Edd jump back yet again into Kevin’s hard-on. Well, that and make his cock twitch.

“You didn’t think I’d just stand idle while you blew my boyfriend, did you, D?” His voice was heavy and thick.

Edd turned his head to retort sarcastically but Kevin caught his lips with his own before Edd even had the chance. The kiss was searing, scorching, sizzling, another synonym that began with ‘s’ (Edd really couldn’t think at the moment, that was the best he could do), and involved a hell of a lot of tongue.

“Kev boy!” Rolf screamed. “Rolf weeps with need!”

Kevin let Edd breathe.

Edd sat back trying to catch his breath.

“Well?” Kevin pumped his hips against Edd’s ass. “You heard the guy.”

Edd moaned, wrapping both hands tightly around Rolf’s erection. That was all it took to bring him over the edge. Unfortunately, the edge involved sticky and staining evidence that landed all over Edd’s hand, sweaty chest, and sheets.

“Thrice messy!” he bemoaned.

Rolf looked up at both Kevin and Edd with half laden eyes. “My sincere apologies, Edd boy, but he will be more than willing to assist you.” Rolf pointed to Kevin.

Kevin chuckled deep in his throat. Edd interpreted that as a sign that he was doomed. A bead of sweat emerged from underneath his hat, trailing down the side of his face.

Kevin spun Edd around so that he sat between Rolf’s knees, but faced him. The look on Kevin’s face made him wary and if he had not been under the effects of the chemical, he would have become flaccid instantly. If anything, however, he grew harder.

He licked the bead of sweat from Edd’s cheek, then grabbed Edd’s hands and shoved his fingers into his mouth. He cleansed them with his tongue, aiming for efficiency, not luxury. Not that Edd minded, after all, it still felt wonderful.

As Kevin cleaned his front, Rolf had latched onto the back of Edd’s neck and was doing a very good impression of a lamprey. He was thankful that Rolf at least didn’t break the skin.

Kevin released Edd’s hands from his hot mouth, busying himself with another part of Edd’s anatomy: his chest. He lapped up and down Edd’s undefined pectorals, making sure that he cleaned up all of Rolf’s semen.

Edd screamed when Kevin nipped his nipple.

“The Edd boy is sensitive,” Rolf murmured against the skin of Edd’s neck.

“Yah,” Kevin agreed, his mouth full. The vibrations from his voice sent Edd over the edge for the second time that day in a fit of spasms. “And there is more I need to clean up.”

Edd didn’t trust Kevin’s smirk. But when his hand unbuttoned Edd’s fly and yanked down both his pants and his y-fronts, Edd decided that he didn’t care. There wasn’t time to be embarrassed, as Kevin gave him a tongue bath all over the junction of his legs, ignoring the most important part.

Poor Edd was still insatiable and he could only imagine the pain and discomfort Kevin, who had yet to climax, was suffering. He admired his will, though, as well as his selflessness. For all the grief Kevin had ever put Edd through (although most of it was because of Eddy), Edd was prepared to forgive him due to the respect he treated everyone he bedded. (Well, at least Rolf and him, he had no idea who else there was.)

Edd grunted something that was incoherent even to him when Kevin massaged his balls.

Rolf, in the mean time, had also busied himself with Edd’s body. While Kevin worked his front, Rolf simultaneously worked his back. Rolf had started at the base of Edd’s neck and had slowly spiraled downward to the base of Edd’s back where he was now at a standstill: he could not decide to continue down the right or left cheek.

Kevin, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was planning to do to Edd’s body. He was going to do exactly what Edd wanted him to do: wrap his steaming mouth around his cock.

Edd screamed at the new experience, unconsciously bucking his hips into Kevin’s mouth.

In the process, Rolf’s mouth had lost its hold on Edd’s skin.

Kevin took in as much of Edd as he could, eventually swallowing him to the hilt.

“Kevin?’ Rolf panted.

Kevin hummed in response, causing Edd to scream and hold back his third orgasm of the day.

“Left or right?”

Kevin released Edd to answer. “If you can’t decide, dude, plow right down the middle.”

Rolf shrugged, it was sound enough advice.

Edd was horrified as to what exactly they were discussing and disgusted that they were capable of discussing anything at all. Here he was, gasping for breath and sweating buckets, and those two were having a nice chat about how to take every last breath from his lungs. Weren’t they out of breath in the least?

Thought evaded him when Kevin’s mouth returned to his cock and Rolf’s tongue entered forbidden territory: his ass. It kind of tickled, and Edd knew that it was absolutely filthy. The germs! They were everywhere! And he would have to take a very long shower to become clean again. That would be right before he killed Eddy. This time it was no longer about upending the concoction all over him – well, it was, but not directly. This was about him not being athletic and being a geek and being naked in front of two jocks. It was embarrassing. That, and he was forced to admit that he had no stamina. The only worse humiliation was in gym class when they had to run a mile.

“Gentlemen!” he heaved. “Please! I’m about to – ”

Rolf stuck his tongue someplace Edd knew that it should not have been, and he twirled it about. He mewled in response and exploded into Kevin’s mouth. After that, breathing was beyond him.

Kevin was all too eager to milk Edd for all he was worth until Edd squirmed under the almost painful stimulation.

Edd had never felt that way before. It was simply divine. He sighed contently, a stupid grin on his face, and without even realizing it, he fell back into Rolf, who had removed his tongue from Edd’s orifices.

What surprised Edd the most was that his erection flagged. Maybe three orgasms were all the chemicals permitted. He was still very horny, but he figured that it had more to do with the company than the chemicals. Three orgasms it was then. Rolf had at least one, and Kevin had none, as far as Edd knew.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Edd reached for Kevin’s pants.

The phone rang as he fumbled with Kevin’s fly.

“Answer that and I pummel you,” Kevin said darkly.

“It could be my parents!” Edd protested. The thought of answering the phone in his current condition, especially if his parents were on the other side, made him feel ashamed but at the same time proud. He knew that his parents would not notice his condition, meaning that he would have one up on them. It was like sneaking down to watch TV after his parents had gone to sleep.

“You’re not here,” Kevin growled, grabbing Edd’s hat and pulling it to his open pants.

“But – ” The rest of Edd’s protest was lost to all ears as Kevin pushed his way into his mouth.

Kevin was not as large as Rolf and was cut, making it easier for Edd to accommodate him than it had been for Rolf.

“Show me what you can do with that gap,” Kevin whispered heavily into his ear. His voice went right to Edd’s groin, making him fully hard again. Kevin nipped his earlobe as encouragement.

“The Edd boy is quite good at wielding his gap,” Rolf stated hotly in his other ear. The moisture from his breath surprised Edd, but not as much as when Rolf stuck his tongue into the shell of his ear.

Edd stole a glace at Rolf out of the corner of his eye. The said boy held his hand to his crotch and was pumping at a slow and leisurely pace as if in no hurry to climax. He then turned his full attention to Kevin’s crotch. His cock had a gooey film of semen coating it, indicating that Kevin had already cum at least once. Good, five down, four to go; the sixth one was already in progress.

The thrice cursed phone was still ringing.

Edd gave Kevin an experimental lick. He tasted sweeter than Rolf. Edd, his mind unable to shut down, figured that it was the difference in diet.

As Edd worked Kevin, Rolf snuck up behind him, wrapping his arms around Edd’s waist to grab his erection. Edd was overcome with an intense sense of déjà vu, but his other senses quickly squelched this, taking over.

The answering machine picked up. Edd only caught the first few words before he lost his sense of hearing to Kevin’s hands. “Double D! I’m so – ” That was when Kevin grabbed Edd’s ears as a handle and held on tightly while Edd used his gap mercilessly.

With a strangled, undignified yelp and a brutal twist on Edd’s ears, Kevin shot down Edd’s throat. Caught unprepared, Edd spit most of it out and choked on the rest of it. Damn inexperience.

Kevin sat back on his haunches, a dazed grin on his face. He seemed sated. That was a good sign.

“You’re good, D,” Kevin admitted in a low and, Edd had to admit, sexy voice.

Edd had no idea what to make of a compliment from Kevin, but he decided that he should at least be polite. “Thank you.” He was not at all surprised to find his voice hoarse.

“And you’re not to tell this to anyone, especially your dorky friends.” By ‘dorky friends’ Edd assumed he meant Eddy because even if he told Ed, he doubted he would understand. And Edd had no intention of telling Eddy he only intended to kill him… once he had emerged from the afterglow.

So Kevin had climaxed three times, breaking the hold the chemicals had on him. That was the only way Edd could explain his sated state. Or maybe he had not climaxed three times, but the chemicals didn’t have as strong a hold on him as they had on Edd due to body mass or the fact that he did not have the entire batch poured all over him. This left only Rolf. However, by the way Kevin and Rolf were looking at each other, Edd concluded that ’s p’s problem would soon be solved. Kevin smirked hungrily as Rolf leered as if to say ‘Come and get it.’

Edd watched as the two stared at each other, consuming each other with their heated gaze, and he found himself becoming jealous. He wished that he could find someone like that – someone who, if not loved him, found him attractive.

That was the only warning given before Kevin pounced, tackling Rolf to the floor and pinning him there.

“Let me teach you how it’s done.” Kevin fixed Edd with a cocky stare.

Edd’s breath hitched. Kevin had hit upon his number one fantasy: school teacher. Although Kevin lacked the anatomy that usually accompanied this fantasy.

“He’s really sensitive here,” Kevin stated before latching on to his neck, just below the ear.

Rolf made a sound unlike any Edd had ever heard before. He didn’t know what to categorize it as. A moan/mewl hybrid was the closest thing that came to explaining it, other than damn hot.

“And here.” Kevin had shifted to suck on the inside of Rolf’s right knee. Edd decided that he did not want to know the story behind that discovery. Rolf was currently beyond sound; he stared off, eyes glazed over and unfocused, and his mouth hung open, his breath coming in short gasps.

“And here.” Kevin had sucked his way down Rolf’s leg and lifted his foot, shoving his tongue between his toes. Edd found this vile: he knew that Rolf went barefoot everywhere. In fact, Rolf was once sent home from school because he had forgotten to put shoes on. He also knew that Rolf’s livestock were well fed and the proof was all over his lawn.

Rolf, however, thought he was in heaven, or so his heated essiossion indicated.

Edd’s rebellious hand managed to find his own half hard cock and squeeze it gently.

“And here.” Kevin had moved back up Rolf’s leg and was now sucking on his balls, while Rolf squirmed mutely.

“But!” Kevin’s voice jarred Edd from his daze. Edd broke his gaze away from Rolf’s face and latched onto Kevin’s. “If you want to make him cum instantly, you do this.” Kevin engulfed Rolf’s entire lengt his his mouth, down to the very root. Edd tried not to think about how long it had taken Kevin to master that trick. Regardless, he was impressed. He had only managed to swallow Rolf half way.

Kevin hummed. A measure later, Rolf screamed, screwing his eyes shut, and arched his back fully off the floor. Edd assumed correctly that he had exploded down Kevin’s throat. He watched in morbid fascination as Kevin’s adam’s apple bobbed with each swallow.

Kevin released Rolf, smacking his lips. “Don’t worry, D, there won’t be a quiz.”

A wave of relief flooded Edd, almost drowning him, although it was accompanied by a strange sense of loss. He immediately ridiculed himself. First off, he was no longer under the influence. Secondly, he was not one to go both ways. Kevin and Rolf were both nice enough (sort of) and willing enough (while also under the influence), but he truly wasn’t that way: this was a fluke. And third of all, those two had their thing and Edd had no right to include himself.

He watched uncomfortably as the boys pawed each other playfully. Edd suspected that it was their version of cuddling.

There was also the problem of him still being hard, but he was unable to do anything about it: he was dry.

Wanting to give them some privacy, Edd made his way to the shower. After successfully removing the blood from his cock, Edd decided that he was clean.

When he returned to his room it was empty. Not even a sticky note. He had expected – he didn’t know what he had expected, but he had expected something. Not the ever-present loneliness that greeted him.

Before he could become sentimental, his stomach twisted in hunger.

Edd made himself a sandwich pondering exactly what had just happened and what could be done to avoid awkward situations involving Kevin and/or Rolf. He had done something so outrageously out of character while not in the right state of mind, now he had to deal with the consequences. Kevin would probably kill him, after he had pounded Eddy. Rolf – he had no idea what Rolf might do, but his imagination made up several unpleasant scenarios. He was happy he had emerged with his virginity.

The answering machine blinked at him, scattering his thoughts.
iousious, he hit the play button. He half remembered the phone ringing part way through the… activities.

“You have one new message,” the machine told him mechanically. “Tuesday the 21st at 2:47 P.M.”

“Double D!” Eddy said anxiously. “I’m so sorry! I’ll never scam again! Especially if it means never feeling this way ever again! Please Double D, pick up! I need to talk to you! I need to tell you that I’m sorry for using your brains all these years, and – OH SHIT! Ed just broke down my door! Fucking hell! Double – ” There was a screech and everything became muffled as if he was no longer speaking to the receiver.

“You taste like chickens, Eddy!” Edd could hear Ed say enthusiastically.

“Ed! NO!” Eddy screamed, panicking.

The message cut off there.

Edd smiled to himself. Maybe there was no reason for him to kill Eddy. Surely this was a classic “Taste of your own medicine” or maybe “Just desserts,” Edd wasn’t sure, but both were appropriate. Then again, Kevin had also threatened to pound Eddy as well. Edd was not a cruel person by nature, but he had had a very taxing afternoon, and Eddy had had this a long time coming.

The smile on Edd’s face lasted for the rest of the day.

END

I love Double D, dearly. Promise. This was an experiment on my part, testing out the waters of non-anime cartoon fanfiction…erm, smut. I was just disturbed at the lack of EEnE fanfiction out there. Yes, I know it was terribly out of character and that there were no emotions elaborated on, but please keep in mind: a teenage boy on Viagra only knows sex and nothing else… Don’t ask how I know that.

For my next trick, I was thinking about KND. The sad thing is that I’m a slasher… and that I’d have to be an idiot not to see the connection between Three and Four. But I will make Four and One somehow go together… hopefully.
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And A Milkshake To Go