Borealis: A Zutara Story | By : jaded_priceless Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 33965 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, any historical figures or events, or easily recognizable persons, places or things. I make no profit from this work of fanfiction |
Chapter 93
“I’ll step outside. Please undress from the waist down,” Amayu instructed quietly after leading Katara to the examination room.
The doctor waited ten minutes then knocked; after getting no response she waited ten more then knocked again. This time after getting no permission, she entered. Katara was sitting on the exam table fully dressed and wrapped in the robe she’d been given.
“Katara, did you want me to examine you?” Amayu asked quietly.
She shook her head and looked at her socked feet. She had removed her shoes prior to sitting down.
“Do you feel like talking?” the doctor inquired kindly.
Katara chewed her lips before saying, “I want to go home.”
Amayu exhaled slowly before admitting, “And I hope that one day you are able to, but until then, do you mind if I do my best to take care of you?”
Katara closed her eyes and huffed, “I don’t need a doctor.”
Amayu frowned in confusion, “Then why?” she paused remembering what Bingwen had given Zuko. She sighed quietly; something similar had been used on her, “So it did lessen the amount of pain he caused you?”
Katara shook her head before whispering, “It still hurt. It hurt so much.”
She crossed her legs and looked down at the floor, “Why is it that every time I think of killing him I remember my brother? Each night he lies down beside me, pulls me into his arms, and goes to sleep as if he’s done nothing wrong. I think of ripping out his heart each time I see his chest rise and fall but I know if I did there would be no help for Sokka. He can’t bend; without a weapon he can’t defend himself. I tell myself to be strong, be patient for Sokka. He’s never abandoned me so I can’t abandon him but last night…
“Last night was different. He kept saying it would only be a little longer, to please wait a little longer. How can you ask that of someone you’re raping? How can you do that, say that? I wanted him to hurry, to hurry and get it over with so I wouldn’t feel him inside me. But it…it,” Katara broke down sobbing.
Amayu shook her head as she slowly began to understand her wails. It hurt but did not reach the same level of agony as when he went faster. He was inside of her a greater time period but had caused less damage. She didn’t want to feel that excruciating ripping sensation but she did not want him to spend any time inside her body. He had pinned her so she couldn’t fight effectively but just as he’d predicted when she we into the restroom there was less damage. The water stung just as much but it didn’t feel as if she were tearing herself apart to heal the damage.
“Guard shift three.”
Amayu didn’t realize she had spoken until Katara raised her head to look at her.
“My sister. She was held captive for years. She said she was able to endure everything but Guard Shift Three. Her captors rotated duties every month. The man in charge of her cell on shift three was kind to her. After torture sessions instead of dragging her back to her room by her hair or a dislocated shoulder, he’d help her to her feet and allow her to slowly stumble back to her room like a person with dignity. There would always be a small indention in the floor with clean water next to the pail she was forced to use as a latrine. She knew at least during his shift her sheets would be changed and her cell would be cleaned.”
“All of the guards took liberties with the prisoners but his touch was gentle. He didn’t try to deliberately hurt her or cause additional pain. His face is the one who most often haunts her nightmares. She says it is because during his shift, those small acts allowed her to forget she wasn’t just a worthless Fire Nation cunt. She was a human with feelings. She could forget the pain and suffering on the other shifts, she hurt so much the pain blended in and never stopped. She got used to it but he disrupted the pain. He made her remember how much she was actually hurting,” Amayu revealed quietly
“Amayu…I…” Katara began guiltily. She hadn’t meant to bring up painful memories of her sister.
She shook her head and smiled sadly, “It’s okay. My nephew looks just like my sister. It’s as if there isn’t a drop of Earth Kingdom in him. She tells him that his father is dead. He was a kind man who died in the war. She says she would not be able to say those things to her child if not for him. She would be so full of bitterness and hatred towards the child who came from her own womb if not for the man whose misguided cruelty reminded her that she was human.”
“I don’t know how to respond to her when she says that. I don’t know what to say to you. Someone once gave me one of those drugs only it was much stronger than what the Prince used on you but I had a friend who stopped him. Meathead was able to come up with something to counteract that feeling. I don’t know what to say or do. I know the fear of what comes next and the sensation of losing control of your own body but I’ve never had a penis forced inside me. I…” Amayu shook her head and let her tears fall.
“I wish so badly I could understand and that it may allow me to be of some help but I can’t. Someone was there for me and didn’t let me get hurt. I wish…I wish so very badly that I had the power and the strength but if I were to act on my instinct who would be here to help after I’m gone? Who would be here to? I never stopped looking for her. I saw the boat that held my sister and almost sounded the alarm when I saw the vessel. I saw the man who returned my sister to me. There was something in his face, a look of infinite sadness and loss that caused me to shirk my duties. I see you and I’m reminded of it; I can choose to perform my duties but at what cost?”
“I can’t make him stop doing that to you no more than I could have made those men stop doing that to my sister. I don’t know what to say, how to help you. Stay strong, stay healthy, stay ready for the moment in which you can escape Katara. I can’t do much to assist you when that moment comes as I have my mother, sister and nephew to think of but I promise to do all within my power as a doctor to ensure you are healthy enough to seize the moment,” Amayu whispered frantically.
Katara hugged her. Amayu’s honest words were a comfort and did much to allay her fears. She had seen and learned so much during her travels –ugly things which shook the very foundation of her belief system. Sexist and archaic beliefs that woman’s will could be corrupted and her spirit broken by the repetitive application of an unwanted penis; that there was no such thing as an unwanted penis. Rape did not exist - only seductresses who drove a man wild until he had no choice but to submit to their unspoken invitations; whores who got angry when a man gave them what they had been requesting and those who’d turned on their gender believing nothing like that could happen to a decent woman.
That any woman who was beaten, held down, and forced wanted it to happen.
Knowing that another person, another woman, not of her own village saw the wrongness was comforting. It reinforced her desire to stay strong, to endure until they reached the Earth Kingdom and the three of them could escape along with her souvenirs of Zuko’s dehydrated heart and shriveled penis. She would take them with her back to the South Pole where Tupilek could purify them and remove the evil Zuko had placed inside her. The tainted remnants of his soul would be drawn to all that remained of his physical body and if she survived the exorcism there was a chance she could be pure once more. That she would one day have a family of her own with a man that truly loved her.
Katara let go of Amayu, “Thank you. It may not seem like much to you, but I needed to hear those things. Your sister is lucky to have you.”
“But I didn’t do anything,” Amayu stammered as Katara slid off the table and stood up.
“You did, Dr. Amayu of the Fire Nation, just then and the morning after my virginity was stolen. When I do kill your prince and sink this ship, I promise that your kindness will not be forgotten. You will make it home to see your family” Katara said with steely determination that frightened the older woman even though she knew her survival was assured.
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