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Revelations of Destiny	By : Kellendros Category: Kim Possible > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 63461 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 77
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- 79
   “Why, exactly, are you staring at my car like it was something that just crawled up out of a crack in the Earth and asked you where the nearest 7-Eleven was, Sidekick?”

   Shego’s demand came out of the lowered driver’s side window of her gleaming, perfectly polished black and green Chevy Impala shortly after she backed the classic car out of the garage and into the driveway, her bone-dry tone a perfect match for the irked scowl currently marring her exotic features.

After a few more seconds spent staring at the muscle car while the automatic garage door slowly rumbled shut, Ron nonchalantly answered the pale woman’s question over the purr of the Chevy’s precisely tuned engine.

   “Well, for starters, I just realized that this is the first thing I’ve seen since I got here that’s done in your colors…” Ron paused for a second before continuing. “Then there’s the fact that aside from the color scheme, thiiiis doesn’t exactly give off that ‘Shego vibe’, if you know what I mean.”

   Shego stared at Ron for a few seconds and then, without looking away from him, reached over to the dashboard with her right hand. Sliding up a panel, she flipped a few of the toggle switches that were beneath it, and a moment later, a series of mechanical whines came from the front of the car as a pair of short, modified M2 Browning machine guns rose up from the tops of the front side panels and locked into place. Once they did, the pale woman smacked her lips lazily while raising one sable eyebrow high, her expression all dry inquiry now.

   “Ahhh, yeah… ok. Nowwww it’s got that Shego vibe…” Ron nodded sagely, while on his shoulder, Rufus fanned his whiskers and wagged his head up and down vigorously, merrily chattering; “Uh’huh, uh’huh; big guns!”

   With a quick shake of her head and roll of her eyes, Shego turned her attention away from Ron, retracting the guns and closing the control panel once more. At the same time, Kim imitated the older woman with a similar, if more drawn-out, shake and roll of her own over the pair’s antics, all while circling around the back of the idling vehicle at a sedate pace. Once she reached the passenger side door, the redhead pulled it open while calling to her friend over the top of car.

   “C’mon, Ron; let’s go!”

   It only took Ron a few seconds to follow Kim around the car, where he then climbed into the back seat while his friend held the front seat forward for him. Once Ron was inside, Kim flipped the front seat back and got in herself, her hands automatically going to the seatbelt and buckling it the moment she pulled the door shut, while in back, Ron did the very same thing without even thinking about it. From there it was only a matter of Shego pulling the car around in a sharp turn and then heading for the highway before they were all underway.

   “So ahhh, where exactly are we going, anyway?” Ron asked as Shego headed for the highway tunnel to Sperlonga.

   “I’un’know…” Shego verbally shrugged, sparing a split-second’s glance away from the road to look at Kim. “Sightseeing?”

   “Ahhh, yeeeah… no. Ron isn’t exactly a ‘sightseeing’ kinda guy.” Kim replied ruefully.

   “Hey! I don’t mind a little sightseeing!” Ron immediately and loudly protested from the back seat. “Y’know, as long as it’s not some kind of boring old museum or library or something like that, with Barkin droning on and on and on and on ad nauseam—well, that and I don’t have to walk around all day…”

   “All right then, I think I can accommodate that… more or less.” Shego responded, more to herself than Ron, before announcing; “We’ll split the difference and hit up the Grotto and Villa of Emperor Tiberius first, then head on over to the Truglia tower—that’ll be the ‘walking’ part, by the way. After that, we can spend some time at the Trelasa Arcade, and then finish up with an early lunch and a few hours of whatever at the beach.”

   “Oh, that’s a great idea!” Kim said enthusiastically, twisting around to look back at Ron. “From everything I’ve read about it, you’ll love La Grotta di Tiberio, Ron; it’s awesome. I’ve been asking Shego to go for a few weeks now…”

   “And as I’ve seen it, like, a half-dozen times or more, and it’s right next door to us to boot, I’ve been putting her off for about the same amount of time.” Shego casually stated without turning around. “She is right though; it’s a pretty impressive sight, all in all.”

   “Yeah, well, we’ll see…” Ron’s reply was somewhat lacking in enthusiasm to say the least; going to a waterlogged cave and an old mansion and tower wasn’t exactly high on his list of things to do for fun—or at all, for that matter.

   Despite that lukewarm reception, a short while later Ron had to admit that the grotto was actually a pretty interesting sight, with calm, clear, bright green waters filling the concentric stone rectangles that formed the big fishpond fronting it, while farther back, the broad, noticeably peaked mouth of the cavern yawned darkly in the mottled brown-and-grey cliff side of the otherwise greenery-covered hill it was a part of. To the left of the opening was a much smaller secondary archway, also carved out of the natural stone by the power of wind and wave. To the right, a far more artificial construct of mortar and stone was built into the side of the cliff, with a deep, arched alcove hollowing out the raised, slab-like platform and lending it an air of elegance it would not have otherwise held. Past all that was the sheltered interior of the grotto proper, with its distinctive double-cave structure and fairly deep, perfectly round inner pool, the ancient Roman stonework still sharp and clear even after thousands of years of wear.

   The blond’s reaction to the villa—or rather, the big open field of low, weathered walls and foundations that remained of it—was far less impressed, to the point where even Kim’s enthusiasm couldn’t keep him interested in it for more than a few minutes. That, and the fact that Shego seemed to be only slightly less bored than he was, had the trio moving on to the statuary museum faster than Kim would have liked, though not exceptionally so—even she had to admit that overall, the ancient ruin only had so much to offer. Unfortunately for the redhead, once inside, the situation more or less repeated itself—though at an admittedly slower pace—as the various displays of reproduced, fully restored statues, statuettes, and carvings standing alongside the original weathered works of art ultimately failed to capture Ron’s attention. The only real change was that this time, the blond stood alone in his apathy, as Rufus seemed to appreciate the magnificent depictions of ancient heroes and gods nearly as much as Kim did, while Shego, despite having seen everything several times before, found her interest and enjoyment renewed by the fresh energy and excitement Kim brought to the experience.

   Conveniently, despite being left to his own devices—because this time, the two women and his small pink companion were having none of his sighing, groaning, largely wordless protests—Ron realized there was something which he could occupy himself with, and quickly wandered off under the not-quite-pretext of finding a snack machine, all while pulling out his Kimmunicator. As soon as he was out of sight—and earshot—the blond called up the direct line for Wade and then paused, doing some mental calculations.

   Hmmm, lessee… we’re eight hours ahead, so that means that in Middleton, it’s still one forty-six in the morning… or, Friday night—whatever… Which means that Wade is definitely still up playing Everlot.

   Ron knew that the boy genius had long since re-leveled his character after giving up all his power to Zita the year before last, during the whole Wraithmaster fiasco, but he also knew that Wade and the rest of his Everlot guild were gearing up for the Rise of the Storm King expansion that was due out next month. With that in mind, he quickly hit the connect button while setting out for the entrance to the museum, where he seemed to recall having seen something that might have been a vending machine on his way in. He didn’t have long to wait before his young friend answered the call.

   “Hey, Ron, what’s up?” the twelve-year-old asked with a chipper energy totally at odds with the ungodly hour it was in Middleton.

   “Oh, not much… just had a few minutes to kill while I’m down here visiting Kim… and Shego!” Ron’s rising tone made the older woman’s name a clear accusation.

   “Oh, ahhh… yeah. Ha ha, that was this weekend, wasn’t it?” Wade’s cheeks colored and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

   “Yes, yes it was…” Ron paused for a split second after that bone-dry confirmation, then all but shouted; “How could you not tell me that Kim was seeing Shego, Wade?”

   “Ahhh, because she asked me not to?” Wade offered back honestly, if lamely.

   “Oh come on! You know as well as I do that blabbing secrets is perfectly justified sometimes!”

   “So I should just pick and choose the secrets I keep for everyone?” Wade shot back with sharp, defensive ire. “Then maybe I should tell Kim about you getting her sent to ‘library lockup’ last year. Does that sound like a good idea, Ron?”

   “What? No!”

   “Then how about the Naco cheese in her purse incident? You know I still have the original security camera footage for that one…”

   “All right, all right; I get the point!” Ron conceded testily. “But when someone’s clearly taken all leave of their senses…”

   “Look, Ron, I know where you’re coming from—believe me, I know—but I did everything I could possibly think of to stay on top of this and look out for Kim—and more to the point, this is Kim we’re talking about; it’s not exactly like she’s big on changing her mind once she’s determined to do something, now is she?”

   “Well, yeah, there is that…” Ron reluctantly admitted. Then he sighed and added; “But still…”

   “Yeah, I know—but face it, Ron, part of what I do for you guys is keep secrets. I mean hey, given I probably know more about you and Kim than any other three people put together, would you really be comfortable knowing I was the kind of guy who couldn’t keep his mouth shut?”

   “No, I suppose not…” Ron sighed again. “So, what is your take on this anyway?”

   “I think that despite having an IQ of a hundred-and-eighty-seven, I’ll need to live at least twice as long as I already have before I’m even close to getting a handle on love.”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa; hold the phone!” Ron ground to a shocked halt. “Love? You think Kim’s in love with Shego?”

   “Well, maybe not… but from what I’ve seen over the last few weeks, whether it’s love, lust, or something else, Kim really does seem to have some kind of feelings for her, that’s for sure—and just as surprising, at least as far as I can tell, so does Shego for Kim. As for understanding it, good luck with that, because you’ve probably got a better chance than I do on that front. The only thing I can say for sure is that however it happened, they do seem to be making a go of it—at least for now.”

   Picking up on his friend’s ever-so-slightly leading tone, Ron immediately asked; “What do you mean?”

   “Well, as far as I know, Shego’s still Shego and Kim’s still Kim, so to speak, with everything that implies. The only reason they haven’t butted heads yet—ahhh… ‘professionally’, that is—is because so far, Shego hasn’t done anything to put her on Kim’s radar—but that can’t last forever, now can it? And given their respective personalities, I’m not entirely sure how that’s going to play out when it inevitably does, or what the fallout will be. Kim’s pretty competitive, to put it lightly, and calling Shego ‘aggressive’ is almost an understatement, so… yeah, I don’t see how that could possibly end well. Then again, logically you could say the same thing about a lot of the things we’ve seen Kim do on a regular basis, so maybe she’ll prove that ‘she can do anything’ with this too, who knows? Your guess is as good as mine…”

   “That doesn’t exactly fill me with reassurance, Wade…” Ron’s nervous thoughts were suddenly filled with the many chaotic, cataclysmic possibilities that might be unleashed if Kim and Shego went head to head with even more emotional investment than they usually did, either during the actual confrontation or afterwards, when the quite-possibly-literal smoke cleared.

   “Hey, we’re talking about girls here, Ron. Trying to figure out how they’re going to act makes quantum physics look easy sometimes.” Wade shot back dryly.

   “True, true, so true dat…” Ron sighed wistfully as his mercurial mind swiftly shifted gears, quietly pondering the complex mystery that was the female psyche for several long, ultimately unrewarding moments. Then he finally gave his head a quick little shake to snap himself out of it and said; “Anyway, thanks for the input, Wade, and sorry for going off on you earlier, too.”

   “No problem, Ron. Talk to you later…”

   With that, the boy genius closed the communications link, leaving Ron staring at a blank screen for a few seconds before he finally put the Kimmunicator away and once more took up his quest for a snack machine. That quest lasted precisely sixty seconds before the teenager discovered that there was indeed a vending machine in the lobby, but that it was stocked with various brands of Italian cigarettes.

   “Blaaag!” Ron screwed up his face and stuck out his tongue in disgust. “I can’t believe they still make these things.”

   Returning to his friends—and Shego—after a few more minutes of fruitless searching, Ron spent what seemed like an eternity in an increasingly zombie-like haze of boredom, until, blessedly, they reached the last display and his companions started making comments suggesting they might actually be leaving for the Truglia tower soon. That glimmer of hope snapped Ron out of his fog right quick—even if it involved a lot of walking just to get to another old ruin, it would still be better than this, at least in his opinion.

   One short car ride and a somewhat longer quarter-mile walk had the group approaching the ancient, bulky edifice as the sun finally got high enough in the sky to start seriously warming things up, which in turn required a short pause as Kim and then Ron applied a liberal amount of sunscreen to their exposed skin while Shego simply stood by and watched. Only then did they continue on to their destination, which was no crumbling ruin as Ron had previously anticipated.

   The Truglia tower squatted on the rocky, greenery-covered tip of an outcropping of coastline that served as the anchor-point for an arrow-straight seawall protecting a small, sheltered marina to the left of the ancient structure. Further inland, a higher plateau was connected to the stony hillock by a gently sloping cobblestone pathway, which leveled out into an arched stone overpass crossing a narrow lane below, then continued on a short distance before opening up onto a rounded courtyard at the base of the tower. The whole route and courtyard was hemmed in by short, thick guard-walls, except for a somewhat curved, vaguely ‘L’ shaped sectional stairway that ran from the right-hand side of the courtyard up to a small stone observation point, then down the hillside to the lane below. The Truglia tower itself was of a weathered taupe color that all the newer, pale beige stonework complimented nicely, and stood as a bulky, cubical thing of neatly squared lines reinforced at each corner by heavy, angled buttresses that looked for all the world like someone had cut the corners off a pyramid and attached them to the structure.

   Such was the allure of the picturesque sight that when Kim paused to snap some pictures of it, Ron was moved to dig out his Kimmunicator and take a few shots as well—though admittedly, far less than his redheaded friend—with both teens focusing on long shots that took in the entire view, so as to capture the full study in contrasts displayed before them; sharp, artificial lines and angles standing amidst softer, more natural curves and slopes; deep green vegetation framed by brown and beige stonework, all set into the darker grays of rocky shore and exposed hill; dark earth and stone against bright cerulean sea and pale powder-blue sky. It really was something worth going to the trouble of seeing.

   “Man, look at that view!” Ron commented once the trio moved down to the tower courtyard, enthusiastically looking up and down the coast while taking a few more pictures.

   “Yeah, it’s awesome.” Kim grinned broadly, imitating her friend’s actions with considerable delight.

   “Mmmhmmm…” Shego drawled the idle acknowledgement as she sat down on one of the broad guard-walls, happily soaking up the warm sunlight while the two teens went about their sightseeing. Fortunately for her, the two friends’ eager interest ran out of steam long before her own indulgent patience did, allowing her to claim a measure of vicarious enjoyment from the experience despite having seen it all more times than she could count.

   With the Truglia tower behind them—literally—the group headed back into town, and, after several minutes following Shego’s lead through the narrow old-world streets, eventually found themselves passing through the main entrance to the Trelasa Arcade. Once inside, the two teenagers’ reactions were anything but similar, despite the fact that they said the exact same thing at nearly the exact same time.

   “A video arcade?” Ron’s voice was all excited surprise, while Kim’s dry tone was nothing but perplexed disbelief laced with a touch of disdain.

   “M’yep.” Shego acknowledged matter-of-factly.

   “Awesome!” Ron exclaimed with zealous glee.

   Kim, on the other hand, arched one cinnamon eyebrow high and turned to Shego with a questioning look that clearly demanded, “Have you gone nuts?” just as much as it asked “Why?”

   Ignoring Kim for the moment, Shego focused on Ron. Holding out a crisp, twenty Euro bill between two pale fingers, she offered it to the blond while firmly stating; “With or without you, we’re leaving in exactly one hour, got it, Sidekick?”

   “Got it.”

   Ron’s quick, easy answer was accepting, if just a little annoyed, but when he reached for the money, Shego flicked her fingers up, pulling the bill away from his outstretched hand while giving him a pointed look.

   “And if you burn through this before then, you’re on your own from there, too.”

   “Yeah, ok.”

   Twisting her wrist at Ron’s acknowledgement, Shego relinquished the once more extended bill into the teenager’s grasp a moment later, and, with money now firmly in hand, the upbeat blond immediately headed off to find a token machine or change person. After watching him go, the older woman turned to her remaining, still somewhat put out companion and raised an eyebrow of her own, addressing the redhead in a noticeably dry tone.

   “Now what’s your deal?”

   “When you said we were going to an arcade, I thought you were talking about an old-style shopping arcade, not… this.” Kim fluttered her right hand around to indicate their surroundings.

   “So? Don’t you usually hang out in these kinds of places with Stoppable?”

   “Well, yeah… I mean, not all the time, but…”

   “And did you not ask me to at least try and make nice with the Sidekick while he’s here?”

   “Well, again, yeah—but I just figured that with you along… I mean… it’s not exactly something I would have expected, y’know?” Kim was still clearly in denial mode.

   With a faint smirk curling her black lips, Shego snorted softly and gave her head a little shake. “Grew up with four annoying brothers, remember? I’m sure I’ve logged as much time in arcades as you have, Princess, if not more.”

   “I guess…” With that succinct, grudgingly accepting statement, it looked like Kim was finally coming to grips with the situation. “But what exactly are we supposed to do for the next hour?”

   “Have fun?” Shego said it like it was the simplest thing in the world.

   “Ok, now I know you’ve been replaced by some alien pod-person.” The redhead’s dry accusation was only half jest.

   Shego just laughed and shook her head again, her long, midnight-green tresses swaying back and forth as she reached out, took Kim by the hand, and pulled the reluctant redhead along behind her while heading deeper into the arcade, determined to prove the teenager wrong on all counts—and she did, far sooner than Kim would have otherwise imagined. In no time at all, the redhead was laughing and smiling as, absent furless pink companions, they hammered away at a big Whac-A-Mole game until the machine fairly bled prize tickets. Then the duo went on to slaughter some skee-ball machines, get the all-time high scores at the basketball hoops games (with Kim edging out Shego by just two points), and shoot the first perfect game in the history of the arcade at the shooting gallery—though admittedly, it did take Shego three tries before she succeeded at the task. All in all, it was a very bad day for the operators of the arcade, as the three bulging plastic bags stuffed full of the two women’s prize tickets could fully attest to.

   After getting one of the prize counter attendants to dust off the “good” case and crack the seal on it for the first time in months, Shego picked out a pair of high-end Lennon glasses with dark violet lenses for herself, while Kim got a new iPod for Ron, and, after looking every which way to make sure nobody else was watching them, a Crabear Cuddlebunny for herself. After that, the pair barely had enough tickets left between them to get a pack of gum—which is exactly what Shego did, picking up a slim package of Wrigley’s Doublemint.

   “What? We earned it…” Shego responded defensively as Kim gave her a look. A second later she was shaking her head and rolling her eyes as the redhead snorted and broke into a grin, but that didn’t stop her from offering a piece of gum to the teasing teenager after she got the pack open.

   A few minutes later, the two women were stepping up to flank Ron at a Dark Reign machine after successfully tracking him down through the throngs of teenagers and young children at the arcade.

   “Time to go, Sidekick.” Shego stated bluntly.

   “Awww, come on! I just spent twenty tokens and the last thirty-five minutes getting to the Troll King!” Ron immediately protested. “It’s the last boss!”

   “Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Trol’ K’ng!” Rufus chimed in enthusiastically from his perch atop the machine, pointing down to the brightly lit screen below.

   “Be that as it may…” Shego drawled uncompromisingly.

   “C’mon, Shego, a few more minutes won’t hurt…” Kim’s tone made the statement into a gentle plea.

   With soft sigh, Shego turned to Ron and sternly demanded; “Last boss?”

   “Yeah, yeah!” Ron hesitated for a few seconds after the fervent affirmation, then added; “Well, as soon as I beat this Ogre Guardian anyway. Then the Troll King moves into attack position and the final fight starts—look, there he is in the background, watching.”

   Shego stared at the screen for a moment, watching as Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught hacked away at the Ogre Guardian’s splintering shield with a battleaxe, all while avoiding repeated strikes from the creature’s spiked morning star in return, and then grumblingly conceded; “Gehhh… fine.”

   “Good. Great. Got it…” was the sum total of Ron’s distracted thanks as the blond concentrated on not getting his digital proxy’s skull cracked.

   While Kim looked on with idle interest as Ron slowly dismantled his adversary’s defenses, Shego watched the screen like a hawk, eyes flicking back and forth as she studied the game’s interface, scrolling-text hints, and the effects of the various power-up icons Ron collected. Then, after a minute or two, the pale woman stepped in closer to the machine while fishing out the small fistful of tokens she had left in her pocket, funneling them into the coin slot and punching the second player start button just as Ron finished off the Ogre Guardian he’d been battling. Needless to say, the blond’s reaction was immediate and vociferous.

   “Whoa, hey! What’re ya’ doing?”

   “Getting this over with as quickly as possible…” Shego replied blandly while scrolling through the mini character select in the top right-hand corner of the screen. A second later she hit one of the buttons next to her joystick, and a big bolt of golden lightning crashed down to earth on screen while a booming voice announced; “Barbarian Queen enters the fray!”

   “Well do you even know what you’re doing?” Ron’s frantic question was half accusatory, half annoyed as the enormous Troll King jumped down to stand in front of the cliff face and laugh evilly, all while the cloud of grey smoke from the lightning strike cleared, revealing Shego’s (currently) scantily armored Amazon standing with curving sword and buckler in hand.

   “What’s to know? Slash, block, jump, magic,” Shego’s finger flicked from colored button to colored button as she rattled off the functions, “and the start button switches weapons. The rest is just not getting hit while you’re hitting them…”

   “That’s not particularly reassuring; it’s not exactly that simple…” Ron griped dryly while hacking away at a big pillar of skulls, spraying bone chips in all directions as he looked for power-ups.

   “Close enough…” Shego responded while picking up a shield icon, upgrading her armor and shield to something that appeared almost functional. “A better question would be ‘why the hell are all these guys coming out of those caves’? I thought you said the giant armored goon was the last boss…”

   “He is! He is! But you’ve gotta fight off waves of low-level creatures while you dodge his attacks and wait for an opening to hit him!” Ron shot back while laying about with his battleaxe, hacking apart armored skeletons, rotting zombies, and big wolf-men alike.

   “Great, just great…” Shego muttered while stabbing a wolf-man in the face and then picking up the armor icon his corpse left behind a few seconds later.

   As it turned out, Shego needed that extra armor, because over the next minute or so, she was hit by several of the creatures’ attacks, a spike thrown by the Troll King, and a small fireball that came from him as well, all chipping away at her protection until she was left with the chainmail bikini she’d started out with. At the last hit, the pale woman swore violently while slamming the palm of her hand into the joystick with enough wrathful force to make the whole machine shudder.

   “Hey, what the heck was that for?” Ron exclaimed while Rufus dug his claws into the cabinet to keep his balance.

   “Fucking joystick is sticking!” Shego snarled back.

   “Well beating up the machine isn’t going to help.” After a second’s pause, the blond amended his previous dry statement with; “Probably…”

   “No, but this will!” Shego growled with forceful certainty as her power sprang to life, surrounding her left hand and the joystick with a corona of writhing lime-green energy.

   “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Glowing green hands of destruction won’t help either!” Ron shouted in a panic, only just managing to remain at the machine instead of instinctively leaping away from the deeply ingrained threat—though admittedly, he was hard-pressed to keep up his efforts on screen now, as he was more focused on being ready to escape real life explosive doom than he was on fighting the Troll King’s digital hordes.

   “That’s what you think…” Shego muttered, biting her lower lip and furrowing her brow in concentration as she carefully adjusted the energy she was channeling while wiggling the joystick back and forth. A few seconds later she was grinning in smug satisfaction as her character began bobbing and weaving in perfect response to those joystick inputs. “Hah! There we go! Just like riding a bike…”

   “And what are we doing exactly?” Ron asked intently, only relaxing a hair as Shego seemed to go back to playing the game.

   “If I juice the stick right, it compensates for worn out, busted connections; makes it work like new…” Shego answered absentmindedly, absorbed with trying to stay alive long enough to recover her lost armor power-ups so she’d have a comfortable buffer between her and death once more.

   “Ok, got it…” Ron went back to dishing out digital destruction to everything around him, though he couldn’t help but keep a wary watch on Shego’s glowing hand out of the corner of his eye.

   Five minutes and several continues later, despite the concentrated efforts of both players, the Troll King was barely down to two-thirds of his health bar, prompting Shego to dryly comment; “This isn’t exactly what I’d call ‘going well’, Sidekick…”

   “Well I’m open to suggestions…” Ron responded with a hefty dose of frustration while cutting down several skeleton warriors with his axe.

   Shego didn’t have an answer for that—at least, she didn’t until Ron bashed a big wolf-man back with his shield in order to get some room to maneuver. Then her eyes narrowed as she studied the screen intently while continuing to dismember the mob of zombies she was dancing around. Several dozen rotten body parts later, the pale woman headed for the cliff face while sharply demanding; “It’s slash and block for a shield bash, right?”

   “Yeah, why? What are you doing?” Ron asked back as Shego started jumping from ledge to ledge, heading for the second highest one.

   “Something stupid…” Shego responded cryptically as she made it to where she was going and then turned around to slash a pursuing wolf-man out of the air, “now keep these things off me for a minute!”

   “All right, all right!” Ron griped before moving his Armored Dreadnaught to the central area in order to attract the attention of most of the enemies coming on screen.

   As Ron fought off the hordes of creatures coming in at him from all sides, Shego waited patiently on her ledge, slicing the occasional stray critter in half until, several moments later, just as the Troll King unleashed his latest barrage of spikes with a backhanded swing, her Barbarian Queen suddenly stood up and lashed out with a shield bash at, seemingly, nothing. A second later the Troll King roared, throwing his arms out to either side of him and dropping his guard completely while flashing a bright red-gold color.

   “Yes!” Shego shouted elatedly even as the impact of the Troll King’s flailing arms against the cliff face sent her Barbarian Queen tumbling from the ledge she was on.

   “What? What did you do?” Ron demanded as he struggled to chop his way close enough to the reeling giant to hit it a few times before it recovered.

   “Something I saw you do by accident.” Shego responded while frantically tapping her block button in order to recover from her fall faster. “If you time it just right, you can backhand his spikes right back at him with a shield bash, and it breaks his guard automatically. Only problem is that he throws them at random, so the only safe place to try it from is that ledge.”

   “Not so much a problem with the two of us!” Ron exalted triumphantly as he hacked away at one of the Troll King’s tree-trunk legs for a few swings before the behemoth finally got its shield up in front of it once more.

   “No, no it isn’t.” Shego agreed, cutting down several skeletons with her Barbarian Queen’s scimitar before they could jump Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught from behind. “Now let’s finish this…”

   After several minutes and a few more continues following the new strategy, neither Ron nor Shego were particularly happy with their progress, having only reduced the Troll King’s health bar by another third.

   “There’s too much stuff to deal with down here; I can barely make it to him in time to get in a few hits before he recovers! At this rate we’ll run out of credits before we beat him!” Ron complained loudly.

   “Yeah, I noticed…” Shego growled back. A few seconds later her tone swiftly shifted to eager as she said; “Wait, I’ve got it! Switch over to your spear!”

   “What? That’s the worst weapon to use with this character! The Dreadnaught can’t upgrade the spear, so it barely does any damage, and I lose my shield while I’m using it too!”

   “Yeah, but it’s got reach, and more importantly, I’m betting you’ll still get your full-armor knock-back power-up with it!”

   “So?”

   “So you won’t need to get as close to giganto in order to start hitting him, and the spin attack should keep everything away from you while you’re doing it—at least, assuming you don’t get hit too much and lose the armor!”

   “That’s… that’s brilliant!” Ron exclaimed jubilantly, his voice just as optimistic as Shego’s now. “I’ll switch over the next time you’re knocked down here, so you can keep everything off me while I’m doing it!”

   “Got it…”

   Shego’s confirmation was determined, but distracted—two wolf-men and several skeletons had peeled off Ron’s mob of opponents and were headed for her Barbarian Queen’s precarious perch. Nonetheless, she managed to fight off the attackers just in time to counter the Troll King’s latest spike barrage, though it was a close thing, and even managed to pick up her final sword upgrade in the process. That helped immeasurably when she rose from the ground to defend Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught a few moments later, as she could now kill anything but a big wolf-man with a single strike, and even they went down with only two. By the time Ron had his spear out, there were nothing but corpses littering the area around him, and Shego had acquired two more armor power-ups—her maximum level—which in turn activated her full-armor bonus, a fifty-percent speed boost that had her moving nearly as fast as she did without any armor on.

   “All right, now let’s see if this works…” Ron muttered to himself as he moved towards the latest group of attackers to emerge from the caves around the Troll King, while behind him, Shego danced away from the towering behemoth’s latest fireball attack with newfound ease.

   A few seconds later, as a wave of skeletons were closing in on him, Ron hit slash and block, launching his lumbering, heavily armored warrior into an incongruous spinning attack that swept the long spear he now wielded around him in a broad circle. As the leaf-blade and shaft struck the oncoming undead, they took nearly no damage from the blow, but it did send them all tumbling away from Ron, which in turn sent a triumphant whoop from his elated throat.

   “Ye-a-ha! You’re goin’ down now, Troll King, a-booyeah!”

   “Don’t get cocky, Sidekick.” Shego immediately chided as she started slashing her way back towards the cliff. “You take one fireball or a few more hits and we’re screwed; they’ll rip you up without that knock-back, and then big, green, and ugly’ll have nearly all his health back before we get you powered up again, assuming we even can.”

   “Not a problem!” Ron exclaimed with no little confidence, clearly in his element.

   Fortunately, the blond had the chops to back up his boast, so after several minutes and a few thousand frantic button pushes, the Troll King was left with but a sliver of health remaining to him. Then, in one last coordinated effort, Shego countered another spike barrage and broke the behemoth’s guard once more, allowing Ron to plunge his spear deep into the monster’s foul, black heart and impale him against the cliff face—which, much to the blond’s surprise, is exactly what happened on screen; his spear remained in the Troll King’s chest as the gigantic monster thrashed and spurted blood from the wound. Then the behemoth’s body caught fire and began to writhe and warp in an obvious transformation sequence, all while the cliff cracked and crumbled away behind him.

   “Excuse me, but did you not say that Giant Armor-Boy was the last boss in this game, Stoppable?” Shego growled in dry irritation as she watched the Troll King turn into some kind of flaming, skeletal, three-headed dragon-demon thing.

   “He is, he is!” Ron immediately insisted, his brow furrowing in plain confusion before he contradicted himself just as quickly. “Or at least, he usually is… I’ve heard of another, secret boss that’s the real end of the game, but I’ve never seen him before! Honest!”

   “Maybe that’s because you’ve never used a weapon that could reach higher than his crotch before…” Shego muttered before releasing a high, dejected sigh. “All right, fine… we take this thing down too.” Her tone shifted to one of dead seriousness as she added; “But if anything else shows up after this, Sidekick, I’m going to set you on fire, got it?”

   “Yeah, yeah; no problem!” Ron was too keyed-up over the prospect of beating the real end-boss of the game to take serious notice of Shego’s threat.

   “So… any idea on what we need to do to kill this thing?” Shego asked hopefully.

   “Typical three-headed boss,” Ron stated with absolute certainty, “kill the heads; kill the beast.”

   “If you say so…” Shego’s dry tone was somewhat born out over the next few minutes, as the unlikely duo burned through continue after continue with little real progress.

   “Ok, so now we know the purple death-beam kills you instantly no matter what your health is when it hits…” Ron stated redundantly as he hit continue after his latest death.

   “Yeah, and then your body rises as a killer skeleton afterwards…” Shego grumbled, fighting the very subject of her statement while desperately trying to avoid the Death Dragon’s constant attacks.

   “Ahhh, yeah… sorry about that.” Ron responded contritely as his Armored Dreadnaught took to the field once more.

   “I really do prefer the horde of skeletons it summons on a miss instead…” Shego couldn’t help but belabor the point.

   “I said I was soooor-reee…” Ron’s rising, singsong voice was clear aggravation now.

   “Can’t complain about the Shield of Invulnerability it drops though!” Shego stated in an eager tone when she managed to kill the powerful skeleton a few moments later. Then, without any hesitation whatsoever, she added; “Take it! You need to survive long enough to get armored up again!”

   “Got it!”

   About a minute or so afterwards, Shego was regretting her decision as the Death Dragon finally hit her with a blast from its lightning head.

   “Great, now we know what that does too; blows all your armor off in just one hit.” Shego immediately griped before reluctantly adding; “Well, at least I’m not dead…”

   “And the flame breath sets you on fire for damage over time and an attack slowdown effect, so at least we know all its tricks now…” Ron shot back with no undue irritation, having experienced what he was describing several times thanks to his Armored Dreadnaught’s lack of speed.

   “You’re forgetting that being on fire does damage to all your health bar segments at once, not just the last one, making it that much easier to lose your armor-adds afterwards.” Shego reminded the blond as she slashed her way through the latest mob of undead the Death Dragon’s death-beam had summoned.

   “Ugh… don’t remind me.” Ron grumbled as he hacked away at the death-beam head while it was still vulnerable after firing.

   “Ye-a-ha!” The exclamation came from Ron a minute or so later, when Shego’s Barbarian Queen sliced the lightning-breath head from the Death Dragon’s skeletal body. “One down, two to go!”

   “Ahhh… is it my imagination, or is this thing attacking faster now?” Shego asked warily a few moments later.

   “No, no it is not!” Ron shouted back in a panic as he just barely managed to avoid a blast of flaming death.

   “Crap!” the clipped outburst came right on the heels of Ron’s confirmation. A few seconds later, in a firm, certain tone, Shego said; “Ok, concentrate on the death-head then. We’ll lose the power-ups from the skeletons it summons, but that’s better than having this thing spitting out instant death Quick Draw McGraw style…”

   “Yeah, gotcha!” Ron immediately agreed with the sound strategy—especially since his Armored Dreadnaught moved so much slower than Shego’s Barbarian Queen.

   “Booyeah!” This time it was Ron who severed a skeletal neck, leaving only the flaming-spewing head to be dispatched. “Mission accomplished! Now let’s finish this thing off!”

   “Easier said than done…” Shego grumbled as she saw how often the last remaining head was attacking now. “How many continues left?”

   “Ahhh… not sure… Rufus?”

   High atop the machine, Rufus shot upright, chittering “M’onnit!” before jumping down to the open space between Ron and Shego’s controls. Then he hopped over to his owner’s shorts, caught onto the heavy fabric, and pulled himself inside the voluminous right-hand pocket. Several moments’ worth of rummaging around later, the naked mole rat stuck his head back outside and loudly informed the duo; “Eight!”

   “Ok, so, lessee… continuing is cheaper than a new game… that means I’ve got two and two-thirds left—darn it!”

   “Hang on a minute,” Shego immediately responded, “I’ve got a partial credit in there somewhere on top of my one continue, so toss ‘em in ‘til it dings and then whoever needs it can use it.”

   “Gotcha…”

   That confirmation was all Rufus needed to hear; the naked mole rat immediately fished a golden token out of Ron’s pocket and fed it into the machine. When he looked up to find the credit counter hadn’t changed, Rufus got another token and once more stretched out to slip it into the coin slot. This time he was rewarded with the count going up to a full two credits, so he pulled himself out of Ron’s pocket and sprang back over to the machine. Scrabbling his way up onto the console, Rufus stayed on all fours between Ron and Shego’s controls, looking up at the screen for a much better view than he’d had from down below—or high above for that matter, since he wasn’t looking at the image upside down anymore.

   To either side of the naked mole rat, Ron and Shego were hard at work trying not to get incinerated while running in and out as they attacked the Death Dragon’s final head after every blast, slashing and chopping away at the bony neck right down to the very last instant it was vulnerable. Or rather, more often than not, Shego was, as Ron’s bigger, but slower, Armored Dreadnaught spent a lot more time just lumbering around the battlefield avoiding the Death Dragon’s sweeping fire breath than her agile Barbarian Queen did. Still, the blond did his part whenever the beast ended its attack with its head close enough that he could reach it before it pulled back, slamming his battleaxe into its horned skull over and over again, as fast as he could hit the attack button.

   Soon enough, the unlikely duo had the undead monstrosity on the ropes, and with a final, leaping power-slash, Shego’s Barbarian Queen sheered through its bony saurian spine with her scimitar, sending the last of its health bar into oblivion even as she sent its head tumbling to the ground. Unfortunately, before they could even begin to celebrate, the enormous headless skeleton reared upward while its ribcage cracked open to form a yawning, vertical maw of jagged bone “teeth.” At the same time, the beast’s tail curled up between its legs to form a slavering, lashing tongue that swept over the battlefield with an eager hunger, and two huge, malevolent “eyes” of pure flame appeared in the center of the dragon’s outstretched skeletal wings, completing the impression they now faced a gigantic, fifty-foot tall demon’s head.

   “Oh come on!” Ron all but bellowed as the transformed boss’ ludicrously long health bar appeared at the top of the screen. “Another transformation? That’s beyond ridiculous; just die already! Die! Die! DIE!”

   Next to him, Shego’s sentiment was running along the same lines, and that most definitely influenced her actions as she sent her Barbarian Queen charging in at a dead run.

   “Fuck this shit, I’m goin’ in… Banzaiiii!”

   “Right behind you, Shego!” Ron roared while barreling in towards the Beast as well, activating his last flame-axe power-up as he did—the blond was so wrapped up in the heat of the moment that he didn’t even take note of what he’d just so enthusiastically shouted.

   The Beast’s flame-eyes sent an endless barrage of tiny fireballs raining down onto the battlefield as the two digital warriors rushed it, chipping away at their health bars with every fiery explosion they were forced to wade through, but still they came. Then, just as Shego’s Barbarian Queen was closing in to strike at the towering monstrosity looming over them, the Beast’s skeletal tongue curled around and lashed out at her, wrapping itself tight to her armored form and yanking her deep inside the clashing jaws of the creature’s vertical maw!

   “Damn it!” Shego cursed sharply as the demon started chewing health out of her trapped warrior at a frightening rate, wiggling her joystick back and forth in a green-tinged blur while frantically pressing her attack and block buttons as fast as her pattering fingers could hit them. “Le’go! Le’go! LE’GO!”

   Reaching the Beast, Ron laid into it with his huge, flaming battleaxe, chopping and hacking out dishearteningly small bits of its health bar as fast as he could hit his attack button, with only a slightly larger impact coming with the power-strike at the end of every attack chain. The assault didn’t seem to deter the demon’s ongoing feast upon Shego’s Barbarian Queen either, though every hit did seem to stall its clashing jaws for a brief instant at least. Then, a few moments later, whether it was a direct result of Ron’s attacks, Shego’s frantic button mashing and joystick wiggling, or simply that the demon’s attack had come to an end, the Beast spat out Shego’s immolated Barbarian Queen as a fiery missile that narrowly missed Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught, then continued on to the edge of the screen before exploding in a final, fiery hit to her health bar, leaving her charred and smoking as she rose to her feet in the resultant crater.

   “Damnit; I lost my speed boost!” Shego growled as the first two now empty segments of her armor-boosted health bar shattered and fell away from it. “Anyway, incoming, take two!”

   Ron didn’t respond; he was far too busy concentrating on blocking the Beast’s bony tongue every time it swept in at him, all while continuing to swing away at its left side with his flaming axe as often as he could between each assault. By the time Shego made it back in to the Beast’s right side, he’d managed to reduce the (hopefully) final boss’ unreasonably long health bar by nearly a twentieth, if not a little more than that. Once Shego joined in with swings of her own fully powered-up weapon, which came faster, but at the expense of doing slightly less damage, it almost looked like the improbable duo stood a chance—if only just barely—of winning the race between the damage they were dishing out, and the damage their significantly smaller health bars were taking in return. Then the demon’s tongue coiled up and lashed out directly at Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught, whose blocking shield did nothing to stop it from wrapping around him before dragging his heavily armored behemoth into the Beast’s hungry, sharp-toothed maw.

   “D’oh!” Ron griped sharply as he was trapped between the Beast’s chomping, health-devouring fangs, immediately launching into a frenzied imitation of Shego’s earlier button mashing and joystick jiggling.

   “I knew there was a reason why I was saving these…” Shego muttered to herself as she tapped her magic button repeatedly, using up all three of the manna potions she’d collected—the maximum her Barbarian Queen could carry.

   The effect of using each of those potions in rapid succession was immediate and most definitely cumulative, as a thick, crackling lance of golden lightning blasted down from the top of the screen to strike Shego’s Barbarian Queen and discharge around her with the first, while the second increased the thickness of that bolt to truly ridiculous proportions, turning it into a veritable pillar of heavenly wrath, which the third and final potion caused to branch out with dozens of arcing secondary discharges—each one nearly the size of the initial strike—that scoured the entire battlefield with their destructive fury. Needless to say, the Beast’s health bar dropped like a stone, losing nearly a fifth of its remaining length all at once. Unfortunately, what it did not do was free Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught from the demon’s jaws. That being said, the blazing pyrotechnic display did have one other side effect, though it was thoroughly rooted in the real world as opposed to the digital.

   “Oh yeah, magic!” Ron exclaimed ruefully. “I always forget that!”

   Admittedly, the lapse was understandable; his favorite character, the Armored Dreadnaught, was the least magically endowed warrior in the entire game, only able to carry two manna potions and with a magical attack that was limited to the area directly in front of the character. The only singular advantage to the Armored Dreadnaught’s raw, unskilled magical attack was that if it did hit, it did slightly more damage than the other characters’ magic did—and there was no way to have an enemy more “directly in front of you” than to be inside it, so Ron’s fingers immediately darted to his magic button, where they repeatedly stabbed down onto the concave yellow circle as fast he could hit it!

   On screen, Ron’s manna potions quickly drained away, at first producing a big, splashing puddle of red hot lava in front of him, before the chain attack caused that burning pool to erupt as a long, coiling Chinese dragon of pure flame and liquid rock reared up out of it, roaring and showering the area with burning death as it thrashed around for several seconds—and all deep inside the Beast, lighting it up like a pyre as the fiery assault ripped nearly a quarter of its life away from it. By the time the burning dragon retreated back underground, the Beast’s health bar was now only half full, and just as importantly, Ron’s massive magical attack had slowed its chewing on him to a crawl all the time it lasted, so when it spit him out shortly thereafter, he was in much better shape than Shego had been following the same treatment.

   “So wha’d’we do now?” Shego stated dryly as Ron made his way back to the Beast and started waling on it with his battleaxe. “We’re both out of juice and I haven’t seen anything useful bounce out of this thing since we started pounding on it.”

   “Yeah, I noticed…” Ron replied grimly.

   The unlikely duo continued their assault on the Beast for nearly a minute before Shego was once more dragged into the demon’s mouth by its seeking tongue. When it spit her out again, she rose from the crater half-dead, with nothing more than her starting buckler and chainmail bikini as her last armor enhancement shattered and fell away from her considerably depleted health bar. While she was running back to the skeletal monstrosity, Ron lost another of his armor bars to the Beast’s rain of fire as well, leaving him with only three remaining before he reached the same state Shego was at.

   “Damnit, we can’t beat this thing.” Shego stated flatly as she started slashing away at the demon despite her pessimistic sentiment.

   “Sure we can!” Ron’s response was noticeably more enthusiastic as he blocked another sweeping attack from the Beast’s bony tongue.

   “No, we can’t; it’s mathematically impossible.” Shego growled. “We can barely hurt it without magic, and its still got nearly half its health left. Between the fireballs and the chomping, each of us might be able to take off a tenth of that health before it kills us, but we’ve only got four continues left between the two of us, so that means we run out of gas right around when that bar drops to a stinking inch left! And before you ask, yes, that counts your extra health making up for me being about to die any second now, and no, I’m not breaking another bill just to pour more tokens into this thing and buy a win; it’s this or nothing, Sidekick!”

   “Awww man! That blows!” Ron griped loudly, immediately grasping the accuracy of Shego’s assessment—the fact that he was perfectly ok with buying victory, but had no spare money with which to do so, didn’t exactly help either. “We might as well just quit now then.”

   “Hang on!” Shego quickly protested. “There’s got to be some kind of strategy we’re missing; some way to bring this thing down with what we’ve got…”

   “Well there’s no way to avoid the fireball damage…” Ron grumbled as he continued attacking the Beast. After a few moments he hazarded; “Only thing I’ve got is that I’m doing a little bit more damage than you—if I get in my full-combo finisher, maybe as much as a quarter more?”

   “Yeah, I noticed… Hmmm…”

   “What? What?” Ron swiftly demanded at Shego’s intent, pondering hum.

   “I’m wondering if you can power-block the tongue grab…” Shego responded in a decidedly distracted tone.

   “Oh man, that timing on that would be hellacious!”

   “Apparently so…” Shego growled as the Beast’s latest tongue lash pulled her Barbarian Queen into its clashing maw.

   “Are you sure you got the timing right?”

   “Pretty damn sure, but not completely…” Shego freely admitted, “I’ll try again on the next continue after it kills me.”

   “Alright…”

   A minute later, history repeated itself as the Beast pulled Shego’s reincarnated Barbarian Queen into its deadly fanged mouth once more.

“Ok, I’m sure now; there’s no defense against that attack—at least, with this character anyway.”

   “Then we’re done; there’s no way to win.” Ron’s sullen statement was anything but happy.

   “Not… necessarily.” Shego’s voice was distracted as she watched the screen carefully. A few seconds later, as the Beast spit out her Barbarian Queen for a final chunk of damage, her black lips curled in a triumphant smile. “That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Ron demanded hopefully.

   “Your guy does more damage than me, right?”

   “Yeah, so?”

   “So I only eyeballed how much that thing’s health would go down based on the damage both of us could do over four more continues, but if you’re the one getting in most of those hits, I think it’ll be just enough to take it down—maybe. It’s a chance, anyway…”

   “Yeah, yeah; I get it, I get it!” Ron immediately understood where Shego’s reasoning was going. “If you can run interference on the tongue, I get to hack away without my chain combo being interrupted!”

   “Exactly—and I’m pretty sure hitting it slows down the chewing, so I should last a little longer too. Of course, this all assumes it’ll actually work; tongue grab might target at random instead of by proximity.”

   Despite ending on a cynical note, Shego immediately put the strategy into effect, doing her best to intercept and block the Beast’s lashing tongue while getting in a few occasional slashes of her own. It wasn’t until the third—and final, for this incarnation of her Barbarian Queen—time in a row that she was dragged into the demon’s mouth instead of Ron that she finally accepted it was working the way it was supposed to. From there, and her next continue, it was all downhill for the Beast, as she and Ron worked in conjunction to take it out—though as the two of them used up their last continues, it came right down to the wire, with Shego dieing and leaving Ron’s Armored Dreadnaught all alone on the field, hammering away at the last little bit of health the Beast had remaining to it.

   “C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!” Ron chanted as he hit his attack button as fast as he could, taking the occasional sweeping hit from the Beast’s tongue because he knew he couldn’t afford to block anymore—even a few seconds lost might make the difference between killing the demon and being killed by it, which the next tongue-grab was sure to accomplish. Then, just as the Beast’s tongue reared back and lashed out to grab him, Ron completed his latest combo chain, sending his Armored Dreadnaught’s battleaxe sweeping into the skeletal demon’s side and carving off its last bit of health with the powerful finishing move! Within seconds, the Beast’s huge, bony form was crumbling to pieces in a fiery, elaborate death sequence.

   “Ye’ah-ha-ha!” Ron shouted out triumphantly. “That’s what I’m takin’ about! In yo’ face troll-dragon-demon-endboss guy, in yo’ face! I’m bad, yo’ sad; I won, you lost; uh-huh, uh-huh!”

   As Ron proceeded to cabbage patch in celebration, Shego raised an eyebrow and stared at him for a long second while smacking her lips dryly, then interjected; “First, that would be we bad, Sidekick, and second, hurry up and put in your name into this thing so we can get the hell out of here already—I’m hungry and I wanna eat now, and I’m sure Kimmie does too, right, Princess?”

   “Hmm? What?” Kim gave her head a little shake when she realized Shego was speaking to her, the slightly glazed, far-off look in her eyes quickly fading away as she answered; “Oh, ah, yeah, actually I am pretty hungry now—are you guys finally done?”

   “Yes, yes we are.” Shego and Ron harmonized, her voice dry while his was jubilant and enthusiastic. A second later, the slightly exasperated woman gave a little sigh and added; “We’ll meet you out front, ‘Champion’; don’t be too long.”

   “Got it…” Ron absentmindedly tossed off the affirmation over his shoulder while he started imputing his initials into the game, taking special note of the fact that unlike every other set of initials, his letters were in gold instead of silver.

   As Kim joined Shego in heading for the entrance, she looked up at the older woman with a soft little smile, which Shego did not fail to notice.

   “What?”

   “Nothing.” Kim’s smile grew slightly.

   Shego’s thick, wavy mane of midnight-green tresses swayed back and forth gently as she shook her head and rolled her eyes, simply dismissing the situation instead of responding further. A minute later, Ron caught up to the pair just as they pushed open the doors to the arcade and stepped outside. Falling in alongside Kim as he abruptly slowed his pace from a jog to a walk, the blond gave the two women a faintly puzzled look, sensing that something was up but wisely deciding not to make any inquires along those lines—after two years on the cheer squad, he’d long since learned his lesson about sticking his nose into things girls weren’t talking about, for whatever reason. Well, usually anyway…

   “So, ahhh… where’re we eating?” Ron asked instead.

   Shego sighed and grudgingly responded; “Well, there’s a Bueno Nacho here if you really want to—”

   “Oh hell no!” Kim’s eyes widened slightly as she heard Ron swear for the second time in her life. “I’m not going anywhere near a Bueno Nacho until they fix all the crazy corporate meddling that’s been going on lately—and they’ve gone totally corporate!” Ron’s voice rose to a near shriek before dropping back down to an aggravated growl. “Did you know that they’re putting a kiddy play area into every single outlet now? A kiddy play area! And kiddy meals too! In these flimsy little bright red and yellow cardboard cartons, with stupid little plastic toys in them! Half the time I can’t even get to the counter to order anymore, because of all the kids screaming for a ‘Lil’ Diablo’! It’s a nightmare I tell you, a nightmare!”

   “Ok, ok, calm down there, Naco Boy;” Shego quickly raised her palms in a placating gesture, “we can go somewhere else then—in fact, I’d prefer it!”

   “Yeah, well, I never thought I’d hear myself say it, but so would I right now.” Ron grumbled petulantly. “They even have me blacklisted on their one-eight-hundred line if you can believe that…” Ron’s voice took on a certain air of contrition as he reluctantly added; “Though I suppose getting Wade to hack the CEO’s private number when they took away the bendy-straws, and then lodging a few hundred complaints through ‘regular channels’ when his personal assistant Bruno stonewalled me might have had something to do with it.”

“Wow, you sure don’t mess around with your fast food, do you, Sidekick?”

   “You’re darn tootin’ I don’t!” Ron replied with complete sincerity and borderline hysterical fervor, oblivious to the undertone of sarcasm in Shego’s voice. “Bueno Nacho was my place! Mine! And now it’s become some kind of twisted, wrongsick reflection of what it used to be, and I’m going to let the whole world know about it!”

   Shego decided right then and there that from this point on, she would mimic the silent, semi-indifferent demeanor Kim had assumed right at the beginning of Ron’s tirade, hoping that without any encouragement—or acknowledgment—the blond would run out of steam sooner than later—and all while quietly promising herself that she would get revenge on the redhead for not warning her about this particular… idiosyncrasy, of her longtime friend, despite her clearly having known about it beforehand. Oh yes, revenge was definitely in order for having to put up with this without being able to apply some green cosmic energy to the equation—definitely. Maybe something involving handcuffs… and feathers… and that new custom strap-on she’d ordered over the Internet yesterday…

   Fortunately for Shego—and possibly Ron—the teenager did indeed wander off track after a few more minutes of ranting and righteous indignation, so that he eventually wound up talking about the local shops and restaurants with Kim while the two friends absentmindedly followed along behind the older woman. By the time they all sat down at a table outside of the bistro Shego had led them to, the blond’s longwinded outburst was nothing more than a fading memory.

   Picking up a menu just as Rufus jumped down onto the tabletop in front of his owner, Shego paused, looking across the table at Ron pointedly while saying; “Just so you know, I’m well aware of your eating habits, Sidekick, so if you and that stomach on legs there you call a pet go over fifty bucks here, it’s coming out of your pockets, not mine, got it?”

   “Awww man, why do we ha— ya’heywaitaminute, fifty bucks?” Ron’s brain finally caught up with his mouth, prompting an abrupt and complete reversal of his initial, knee-jerk response. “Ahhh… yeeeeah… ok, I suppose that’s fair. Perfectly fair…”

   As he reached for a menu of his own, Ron fought a mostly losing battle with the broad, sly grin that was trying to creep across his features, but the only one who really noticed was Rufus, because both Shego and Kim were concentrating more on their respective, forthcoming orders than him right now.

   A few minutes later, after their waiter finally arrived at the table, Shego ordered a small bowl of minestrone, a plate of big beef ravioli in thick marinara sauce topped by a generous helping of gooey, melted mozzarella, a small basket of soft garlic & onion breadsticks along with a little container of donair sauce for dipping, and some biscotti for dessert. Kim, on the other hand, went heavy right from the get-go, ordering three thick-crust chicken and vegetable tarts, a double helping of lasagna, a small donair, and several cannoli for her sweet tooth. Ron, of course, took full advantage of Shego’s generosity, pushing his order right to the limit while blithely ignoring the pointed look Kim shot him as he asked for a trio of calzone, a six-inch, four-cheese pan pizza for Rufus, two more twelve-inch pizzas for himself, a plate of authentic garlic fingers with dipping sauce on the side, and last but not least, four pieces of apple crostata topped with shaved almond slices for dessert. When the waiter asked for their drink orders, the man was somewhat surprised to get waters all around, with an espresso for Shego as well—which quickly turned into two espressos as Rufus eagerly piped up for one too.

   “Si, si then; I should be bringing you your order in just a few minutes, signorina.” The waiter concluded respectfully before heading off to do just that.

   Over the next half-hour or so, the unlikely quartet concentrated on their food, with Ron and Kim talking about the local area and catching up over the last nine days since they’d seen one another—it had been a particularly slow, lazy summer for world-saving cheerleaders as of late. Aside from the occasional interjection, Shego seemed content to let the two friends talk amongst themselves, though she couldn’t resist having one last little exchange with the blond right near the start of their meal, when Ron tore into his food like someone who hadn’t seen a decent meal in days.

   “Y’know it’s not a contest, Stoppable…” Shego paused for a second, one side of her mouth curling up in a wry smirk as she pointed to where Rufus was lying sprawled out on his empty plate, stomach slightly distended after devouring his pizza in a dozen huge bites, “And if it was, he’d be winning.”

   Ron gave a single, irritated little shake of his head and cut his eyes upward, but at the same time, he also found himself snorting softly and half smiling as well, despite the dichotomy of those responses. Then, a few moments later, he suddenly sobered as he realized that he had, however slightly, been amused by something Shego had said to him.

   Oh I’m on to you, you sneaky evil sneaky woman of sneakiness you! Ron thought to himself with a fierce resolve, determined to resist any further attempts by the obviously scheming villain to put him off guard and lull him into a false sense of security—or worse, make him like her. He even managed to keep up that wary guard through nearly the entire meal before it slipped his mind again, just as it had before.

   “So, down to the beach now?” Ron asked while Shego was busy paying the bill after they finished eating.

   “Guess so.” Kim answered cheerfully after Shego shot a quick, absentminded nod her way.

   A few minutes later, that was exactly where the group was headed…
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Revelations of Destiny