Just One More Sin | By : AberrantScript Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 5501 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House and make no money off this work of fiction. |
Author's Notes:
In the previous chapter, as Luna sits at the table and thinks to herself that her family has gathered like "flowers for the Master's bouquet," that was a reference to a song's title. A song about death.
Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2018); Heaven by Flatt & Scruggs and the Foggy Mountain Boys (1958?)
Chapter 3: Just One Dip
Hello! My name is Luan Loud and I am (technically speaking) a Christian apologist. Heh. Now, I don't spend my days thinking up sad stories and making apologies, and nonsense like that.
Nope! The greatest skill… the greatest tool… and the greatest weapon an apologist has at their disposal (regardless of their beliefs) is critical thinking. And one of the easiest ways to use critical thinking is to never accept something at face value. Always ask the question "Why?" because there must always be a reason behind truth.
Truth is not truth for the sake of it being truth.
Would the kind reader care to sit through a controversial example? Thank you.
I, Luan Loud, do not believe that macroevolution is truth. Why? Because I asked the question, "Why?" and found the entire belief system to be hanging in the balance… and lacking.
To be fair, I began as a Christian… so if anyone wants to convert me over to "science," then they'd best have a strong argument to support their case.
So, let's start with… why are we here? Because of seemingly random, chaotic, uncontrollable, basically-miraculous mutations of chemicals which somehow created intelligence, life, purpose, and existence…? And through eons of time that mutation macro-evolved into the earliest form of humanity?
Hey, I'm a fair gal. I'll give a debater many liberties. So, let's just roll with it.
Please allow me the same freedom to apply scientific law to this line of thinking. For example, science has proven that intelligence must come from intelligence. It has never been observed to come from un-intelligence. (Think I'm wrong? Then, prove it. I will wait until I die for this proof.)
Another scientific theory is that mutations (by their very definition) always created something worse than the starting product. In some cases those have been beneficial (that is true) but, by definition, that benefit was due to a loss of genetic data.
Now, let's look at the time factors. Do we honestly think that this earth… this chaotic, inconstant, ever-changing, psychotic planet… for billions of years was in a state of slow, constant, controlled growth? Ha! We suppose that everything moved at a constant rate that would allow for nothing chaotic which is one of the defining traits of humanity, of this planet, of the very universe itself. It makes no sense. What's more… it doesn't fit the data.
But I am fair. I will let them have it. Because I aim big… and by big I do mean that certain popular theory.
I am taught in public school that every bit of matter and energy was cramped in a space roughly equivalent to a marble. And that is all fine and dandy. Sure, perhaps in time something chaotic might happen and that marble would explode with a bang… but where did it come from?
A very famous scientist… everyone knows him… talks through a machine, rides in a motorized wheelchair, extremely intelligent… I have much respect for his brilliance. But even he had to default to an argument out of necessity.
See, if you keep asking "Why?" humanity can only go so far back… and then, they always stop.
Tell me I am wrong. Tell me where matter and energy, time and space originated from. Because if you tell me it always was, then I will laugh in your face… because that is the exact same argument Christians, Jews, and Ancient peoples have used for millennia!
I am fair, but I have never had a person answer that question differently. They may flatter me with science and philosophy and education and even algorithms… but they can never get past the origin of their origin stories.
Want me to be honest for a moment? Don't tell my parents, but I did give them a chance. For a short time I became an evolutionist. For a short time I became God's enemy, seeking a way to tear Him down and trod Him underfoot.
Because I asked the question, "Why?"
There is an amazing book in the Star Wars universe (Don't laugh at me! With these buck-teeth, braces, and gangly body I'd be shocked if I didn't read something nerdy!) called Dark Rendezvous. In one scene (spoiler alert, by the way, oops) Jedi Grand Master Yoda comes to Darth Tyranus and asks him to convert the old master into a Sith Lord. Wanna know the best part? For a few minutes, Yoda was a Sith. He became darkened, power hungry, and filled with rage.
But at the last moment he turned away because the Dark Side could not satisfy the same question that the Light Side could not in all his years of study. Neither could give him the power to create a flower from nothing.
In a similar way, not believing in God does not help me anymore than believing in God. For both require an equal measure of faith in things I can never possibly know.
Wanna know why I am a Christian?
Because it is easier to believe a merciful, omniscient, omnipotent, etc., etc., God created everything… than to believe it just always was for no reason at all. It is easier to believe that an Intelligent Being always was, always is, and always will be… than to take "science" as my god.
I sit back in my goofy, wooden chair and smile pensively because most people will not listen to me. I can already feel it now… their anger, frustration, and disbelief at my own line of thinking. It is really easy to get scared and hide my opinions, feelings, and beliefs… just imagine how long I must have been this way and no one knows I am an apologist.
Not mother. Not father. Not my family.
Not even the dear readers skimming these words.
Sit back and dwell on that for a little bit.
Filled with disgust yet? Shall I keep going?
Someone must want me to keep going, right?
Because I only started this story with that debate to snag emotions… to cause outrage… to garner sympathy… or otherwise to entice (or to pull the tares from the wheat, wink, wink).
This is not a story about me being an apologist.
This is the story of how I became pregnant… and my baby died.
And no amount of sad stories… apologies… or critical thinking… will ever change my history.
As that door creaks open, the radio starts a new song and Lester Flatt's smooth voice drifts from the speakers like a soothing balm.
"In childhood I heard of a heaven."
White hair slips inside. The door closes with a silent thunk.
"I wondered if it could be true."
I lean over my sister, Luna, to see my one and only brother coming toward us; fear is on his face.
"That there were sweet mansions eternal…"
Luna's lungs shake; she vibrates beside me with lust. I can feel it, too. We've been here for hours and it never went away. We are both thinking the same thing in that moment.
Please, Lincoln… please go away…
He keeps walking toward us, and soon we realize he is holding his pillow and stuffed bunny rabbit. He looks so vulnerable. He rubs his wet eyes with a hand and pouts at us quickly.
Our hearts quicken. We know his window of opportunity is swiftly closing. Please, leave…!
"Somewhere up there beyond the blue."
He comes to our bed. He looks down on us. His lips quiver.
"I h-had a nightmare…"
I nod my head. We both know of what it was he dreamt. A dark place. A fiery place. A place of which we have all had nightmares… for some of us, even living nightmares.
Luna shivers beside me. Her eyes are clenched shut.
And I know that is where her mind is gone. She is swimming, writhing… trying to get out… but unable to do anything but sink… sink… sink deeper… into the flames.
"I wondered if people really go there."
I was one of those people, but not anymore. I… I am terribly confused over my current feelings, but I know beyond a shadow of doubt… that… I hope… I… I-I would go there i-if I'd die in this very moment.
"Lay down with us, Lincy. Luna had a nightmare, too," I lie, and a sharp pain strikes across my temple. Why did I do that!?
It slips out so naturally… so quickly… I hear Luna's gasp. I feel her hide her burning eyes in my chest. She is trembling; trying to keep herself from turning, from grabbing him, from sinking her demonic claws into his little wrists and pulling him down into this boiling fire in their bodies.
"Then, one day, sweet Jesus came in."
He kneels on our bed before handing me his rabbit.
I look at it. I feel my brother's heat still in its fur. That heat washes over me. I look down at my sister; I see her eyes.
She is looking at me.
And we know… that if he takes one more step closer… he will never go back.
"And I got a vision of heaven…"
I do get a vision… as my brother's smell wafts to my nose, as my eyes trace the soft lines of his boyish face, as his leg brushes mine… when he lies beside me and draws closer… his hand touches my arm, and it burns like a fever in my very blood.
Luna is leaning away from my chest. She is no longer looking at me.
We are both looking at him.
We are both burning alive.
We are both in need.
And one more sinner has stepped into the fold.
He looks at each of us; his tears barely held back. "I-I-I'm scared. I-I don't want to go to Hell!" he cries, throwing himself onto my shoulder.
His pained wails scourge my brain… leads me to pull him to my breast and reassure him… that he has spoken with God, that he does believe in Him, that he is forgiven… but this closeness only makes my body hotter, makes my senses stronger… makes my need unquenchable.
I glance at Luna and see her licking her lips. Her eyes are nearly black.
And in that moment, I know that mine are not far behind hers.
"My soul through all Heaven I'll spend."
I think… I seriously think about what I am about to do… what I am about to let Luna do… about how this will affect Lincoln.
And only a small part of me cares about the consequences.
An apologist can try their best to rationalize this.
Does the Bible truly condemn sibling incest? I… do not honestly know. It is one of those… grey areas… so to speak.
Does the Bible truly condemn premarital sex? Yes. Yes, it does.
But… what if my heart is already married to him… to Luna… to my family?
Is… is it so wrong, then? If I am faithful to them, and only them, in mind, in body, in soul, until the day I die?
I lick my lips.
I will have to think on it.
But there is… an interesting tradition that… a certain sect commonly called "Mormons" believe.
It's an unspeakable act… but… they say that it is not premarital sex b-because no one loses their virginity… no pregnancy is risked… no virtue is corrupted.
Those are… greatly marginalized topics… in the Christian church, keep in mind…
B-but when I feel this fire deep inside my body… it just makes me want to reach out…
I hold him tighter to my breasts.
…toss aside my morals for just one second…
I look him straight in the eyes.
"Luan?"
…and test the boundaries I have set for myself based on a lifetime of devotion to God.
With lidded eyes and a husky voice, "Don't worry, Lincy. Your big sisters will take your fear away."
He gasps against my lips as I press our mouths together, softly, tenderly, affectionately.
I feel movement and a hand brushes my cheek… Luna's hand. It is threading through our brother's hair, rubbing his scalp. I open my eyes and see her lips pressing softly into his hair, upon his ear, down the spine of his neck.
He trembles against me. He can barely hold himself up.
I lay back and let him fall atop me.
I… shiver in ecstasy… when I feel his… readiness… pressing into my leg.
Above his head, Luna's eyes are waiting for me… and I don't need to ask her if we should keep going…
The dark, hazy shadow covering her irises speaks louder than any sermon, any hymn, any trumpet of the archangel Gabriel.
"Heaven (happy home above), Heaven (land of peace and love)-"
My mind is screaming for me to stop, for me to keep going, for me to listen to his whimpering cries, for me to ignore his pleas for help… I am lost inside my body, in my lust. Where I am there is no God, there is no cross, there is no atonement… there is just one raging fire… and one brother with an erect penis lying atop me.
I look at my brother and smile. "Be still, brother. This will take your fears away. I promise," I lie once again. I cannot let myself think about this pure soul I am destroying… because then I might stop and my body may die.
Then again, am I truly destroying him? Or am I showing him the love that God always purposed for him to enjoy? Who am I to say I am not the one God made for him… who am I to speak for God?
I look up at Luna, smiling even warmer. "Do you remember what Leni told us about Mormons?"
Her pupils dilate and she nods.
My smile tilts to one side. My lungs barely breathe.
"Oh, it makes me feel like travelling on."
She leans down to my skirt. She finds the zipper and pulls it slowly.
I clasp my brother's cheeks in my hands.
"Just look at me, Lincy. Don't look at anything else but my eyes. And feel. Feel my love for you, and let it take your fears far away."
He nods, his breath shaky, his cheeks blushing.
I pull him down to kiss me.
Luna lifts my hips to remove certain fabric that is still in the way.
He hisses into my open lips as Luna turns her attention to his pants.
"Luan," he squeaks into my mouth.
"It's ok. We're your sisters. We love you with our everything," I reassure him before my velvety tongue licks his bottom lip.
His fears are forgotten as he lets me inside his mouth… as his legs become naked to the open air.
Luna pulls a sheet and lays it over our bodies to hide our shame from her own eyes. And she lies down beside me. She reaches a single hand under the cover… and soon I feel my brother freeze up like a pillar of salt.
I pull my lips away, and he is looking into my eyes… he is seeing the fire fall from heaven upon Sodom and Gomorrah… turning my pupils into kindling.
I gasp and hold him close as Luna… as she draws his penis nigh to my vagina.
He is breathing funny… not normal… but not like I and Luna are.
I gasp again as Luna makes her mark, as she pries my sacred lips apart with his crown… and forces just the very tip inside.
My body is screaming. My back arches into his chest. I hide my shameful cheek in his snowy hair as my virgin core is overcome with a sensation it has never felt before.
"Heaven (supernal), Heaven (eternal)-"
Luna leans over me and whispers into my ear, "Is it enough? Is the fire gone?"
I hurriedly shake my head. It is not gone. It is only worse. What started as a bonfire in my loins now feels like lava pooling into my body.
She nods.
I cling to him tighter when I feel it push just a little more. I have no experience. I do not know how deep he is. But it feels so big, so much… I feel complete with him inside me… and there is no possibility I will ever forget the soul-shattering feeling of having him inside my body.
Luna forces him in just a little more, and I feel him bump into something inside me. My eyes grow wide. I look at Luna.
She is looking at me.
"We need to quench the fire, Luan. This is the only way."
I bite my lip.
I love Lincoln with all my heart.
I… I'm prepared to marry him… here and now… and not just because it would rid me of this terrifying feeling bubbling up from my deepest parts. I truly adore him. I adore Luna. I adore my family.
But… I know I am forgetting something…
I shake my head, and her brows furrow… perhaps even in anger. I cannot tell.
I pull back and look into my brother's eyes. I can feel his penis throbbing inside me. I do not know what it means yet. How could I? Does the kind reader think we have been taught anything about sex? Ha!
But he looks terrified… worse than he ever did after dreaming about Hell.
It shatters my soul and tears fall from my eyes.
He pleads with me, "Please, stop… I don't want this."
And I turn my head away.
This is the hardest thing I will ever do…
I push him up until his… his penis slips out… and that's when I feel him release onto my naked groin, upon my white blouse. It is hot, it is boiling, it is warmer than anything I have ever felt before… and I know that it was meant to be inside me. I know that is what my body craves with every pump of blood.
I look into his eyes and he can no longer look at me through the tears.
"I'm a monster, ain't I?" he cries even harder.
I pull him to my breast and let him weep. His flaccid penis rests lazily upon my pelvic mound. My body is full of nervous energy. I need to shift him just a little bit. I must or else I will surely die!
But I don't.
I look at Luna… and I know I am seeing anger in her eyes… but… there is also curiosity.
She lifts the blanket and gazes upon the evidence of our shared incest, and her pupils are gone. Her eyes are only darkness.
I lift him up and kiss his cheek.
"Go to bed, Lincy. Our love will keep your nightmares away."
He flees. And… a-and part of me believes he is not running from Hell… but from me.
I turn to my side and cry.
As Luna descends upon me to taste of my and Lincoln's sin, I am still crying.
As she moves and tastes of my own body, I shiver and quake, but my tears still never go away.
As I fall asleep, I am, for the first time in my life, scared of something far worse than going to Hell…
That I, Luan Loud, my one and only brother's older sister, his comforter, his rock…
Will not be able to resist my body's sinful desires…
And I will end up taking him to Hell with me.
I… pray to God… to kill me in my sleep, whatever my fate may be…
But in the morning, my eyes open and I am terrified to see the bland ceiling of my room once again.
I am terrified because… when I see him again… when I have him alone in my room…
I will not stop.
I will never stop.
Just one more sin is not often.
I…
I must have it all.
And the man on the radio sings, "I'm so glad it's real."
Random proverb:
A man that believes killing his body brings relief may turn to suicide...
A man that believes there is eternity after death may turn away from suicide...
A man that not only believes there is an eternity after death, but that suicide will bring damnation may turn to God...
And ask God to kill him.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo