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Borealis: A Zutara Story	By : jaded_priceless Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 34026 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, any historical figures or events, or easily recognizable persons, places or things. I make no profit from this work of fanfiction

Chapter List
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Chapter 255
Katara woke as Yue was ascending into the sky. She slipped out of bed, telling Zuko to go back to sleep as she dressed and stood in front of the window to bask in the moonlight. She inhaled deeply while stretching her arms and rising to the tip of her toes, feeling the influx of the moon’s power. She remained in front of the window for the next two hours, meditating, doing katas, and just enjoying Yue’s company.
It was two hours hour before midnight when she decided to wake Zuko. He was a light sleeper so she grew concerned when it took so long to wake him up. His eyes opened slowly and he smiled when he saw her. The smile was quickly replaced by a yawn, but Katara could not help but remember what he said about his parents and realized Zuko also had a special smile upon waking that was just for her. She closed her eyes and lowered her head to rest it against his. Her parents also had special smiles for each other. Zuko liked to watch her as she slept. She wondered if she were to ask Zuko in that second between sleep and waking did he see a special smile on her face when he looked at her.
Fear of the affirmative kept her silent. The part of her that knew the answer; that yes, she did have a special smile for Zuko, kept her from refusing when he pulled her on top of him and asked if he could make love to her. This time she kept her eyes open, watching his face for indication of truth in the things he had revealed to her. That even in their imperfect world he still believed in what his mother taught him; that what they did was special. That she was special. This time when he began whispering “I love you” she didn’t immediately dismiss him. Afterwards she lay her head on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat as he held her before reminding him of his pending surgery.
Zuko sat up slowly keeping her in his lap and tightly embracing her before reluctantly letting go. Once they finally got out of bed the followed the prior pre-surgical procedures. Zuko heated the water. Katara washed the both of them with her bending. He remained in the water heating it before reaching into the tub next to him and heating that as well. Katara easily caught the water he splashed before it landed on the floor.
He stuck his tongue out at her, “Show off.”
She stuck hers back out at him, “Jealous?”
“Not really, your skin’s not completely dry and that nightgown is really flimsy. I got a really good view when you did that,” Zuko teased splashing water again.
“Pervert,” Katara teased making his bathwater splash him as she caught what he had sent over the tub’s edge.
“Yeah but you love me,” Zuko quipped. The water Katara was handling dropped to the floor. Zuko began to stammer, “Katara…I,”
She lifted the water and tossed it out of the window then knelt beside him. She placed a hand on his forearm and smiled sadly, “You’re about to have surgery. You shouldn’t worry about unnecessary things.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said sending a small fireball into his bathwater hoping the resulting steam would be enough to keep her from noticing how much her rejection hurt.
“Zuko, can you boil the water in that other tub? I need to take some out and mix it to sterilize the room.”
He did as she asked then reheated the water he was in to the same temperature and lay down leaving only his face and knees out of the water. Katara spread a blanket on the floor and called Zuko over to her. Her eyes never left him as he rose from the water, steamed himself off, dressed in a loin cloth and walked over to her. She patted her thigh indicating he should sit next with her in the moonbeams. When he did so Katara climbed into his lap. She placed her hand over his heart after her placing his head on her chest. She closed her eyes once again realigning herself with Zuko and moonbeams.
Zuko watched her as she closed her eyes. The fingers over his heart began lifting and falling as her breathe slowly began to mimic his. He knew better than to think she was sleeping. She was meditating. He was her living flame. He tilted his face to study her and her lips curled upward into a smile but she gave no further acknowledgment. Zuko lost track of time as he watched her, felt her. The procedure hadn’t even started but he could feel something within him shifting with each movement of her hand.
His father had only apologized to him once in his life. He was eight and had just learned about his engagement. His father had told him much about love that night, all of it he remembered but none of it he understood until this moment:
Ozai knelt in front of the chair in which his son was sitting and apologized “I’m sorry my son. I wanted you to choose your own woman as I have chosen mine. My heart swells every time I see her. It overflows with joy at each of her smiles and breaks at even the tiniest hints of pain or sadness. It moves with every touch no matter where or how slight wishing to be closer to her hand. I wanted that for you Zuko.
As a father one of my greatest wishes is for you to find a woman with whom you can share what your mother and I share. I wanted you to know what it felt to love so deeply and be loved deeply in return. I wanted you to know the peace that comes from sleeping in each other’s arms and the energy that fills you as her first smile of the day is cast your direction. I wanted you to reach the nirvana given only to the most blessed by Agni as you experienced the union of the dragon and phoenix and know that feeling is only surpassed when she places your hand on her belly to introduce you to the spark of life your love has created.
I wanted you to experience the joys, fears, anticipation, hope and strength as you watched the child you placed within her grow. I wanted you to know the indescribable feeling of seeing the faces of the children she carried and gave to you. You are the physical manifestation of my love for Ursa just as Azula is the physical manifestation of her love for me.
I am sorry I have failed you and you have been denied the opportunity to know that feeling. That is the true mark of a man, not bedding a woman or several but loving one so completely that you surrender yourself to her.”
“I know it Father.”
Zuko didn’t realize he had spoken aloud until Katara’s eyelids began to flutter. When she opened them they seemed to glow. Katara angled her head to bring her face closer to his but didn’t speak. She looked away when someone tapped lightly on the door.
Katara caressed his cheek and gently kissed him, “I don’t always remember that I hate you.”
She kissed him again, “I don’t love you but I don’t always remember to hate you either.”
She kissed him again, “Sometimes you are so very sweet and so very kind that I forget you are a monster I should always hate. Times like this I just think of you as a man. I think of how you killed to protect me, how you are risking your life to help my brother and Aang, of your kindness and generosity towards them, of how often you let me see them, of how you allow me to heal Appa, of how you make me smile, of how warm and safe I sometimes feel in your arms. You would not be in this pain if you had not shielded me.”
“When I think of those things I forget I have so much hatred,” She kissed him one final time then went to open the door when the tapping began a second time.
Zuko’s heart felt light as he watched Toshio re-sterilize the instruments Katara had already prepared. He closed eyes and leaned forward thinking of her when Amayu made the first incision. They had decided that this time to be certain there were no chances of recurrence they would remove all the skin from his back.
Katara placed her hand in his and caressed his face. He opened his eyes and smiled weakly at her. “I’ll be okay.”
She couldn’t tell if the slurred words were from pain or medication. She let go of his hand to sterilize her own as Amayu began flaying the skin from his lower back. She moved into place as soon as the physician stepped aside. She hadn’t lost contact with Zuko’s biorhythms since meditating on them earlier so it was easy to feel the disturbances against his blood when she placed her hands on his shoulders.
This time instead of thinking of cleaning Lake Jang Hui she thought of fishing. This time when she yanked her hands away there were dozens of tiny pebbles suspended in the blood she pulled forward. Toph had told her lead was most commonly used as the metal produced a secondary poison. She asked for a magnet and ran the sterile iron along his exposed flesh then grabbed hold of his blood and pulled again. She repeated each action twice then splayed her hands across his back and felt for any signs of disturbances in his blood.
There were none.
She let him bleed a bit longer then circled around to the front of him. She began opening and closing her bloody hand on his chest as Toshio and Amayu worked to stop the bleeding while Mu and Ty Lee massaged his hands and feet to improve his circulation. Once the bleeding stopped Amayu washed Katara’s left hand. She used it to bend Mu’s antibiotic gel that Amayu had improved over his back before they covered it with a silken bandage. Toshio washed up and began heating the tub of clean water. After ten seconds a portion lifted into the air and covered Zuko’s limbs.
His eyes opened when all but his back was covered. His eyes rolled about before settling on Katara. There was an odd awareness that dwelt in the gateway between life and death. Zuko could not feel the pain he was in but he could the feel the blood moving through his body in a familiar yet foreign manner that mirrored the water he saw sliding against his skin even though he felt no wetness.
This wasn’t his heartbeat; it was Katara’s.
He could feel her heart beating inside him as she maneuvered the small amount of blood remaining in his body. Zuko wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted his head to lay it against her chest. Her fingers slid against his scalp. He could not feel them but he knew they were there. Most things, even her face, were a blur but he could see where and how they were joined. He could feel and see her spirit inside of him giving him strength through the portion of his spirit that dwelt in her. He could feel her life-force weaving itself with his with each beat of her heart and the pulse moving within his body.
“I feel it. You lied to me Katara I feel it. You love me too,” the words of his spirit were strong and clear. Their honesty was accepted and echoed by how strongly Katara’s heartbeat resonated within him. His conscious mind was unaware his lips had moved. No one was able to discern his distorted warbles but they were all relieved he felt well enough to try and speak.
Katara continued to pump his blood throughout his body long after he was declared stable enough for her to stop. She knew it was unnecessary but a part of her felt frantic when she had to let go of him so the his vitals could be taken and Ty Lee could assess his chi. It was almost sunrise when they were able to convince her to get some rest. She consented only because the full moon was fading and it was becoming difficult to feel him.
The hand that had been regulating his blood cramped when she finally stopped moving it. Despite her pain she held Zuko’s face in both her hands and lowered her mouth to his. She closed her eyes and let her face rest against his until the tension left her body. She remained in that position and was almost asleep when Zuko tapped her leg. Her eyes opened and she smiled when she saw him staring back at her.
He smiled back at her and uttered one word, “Toilet.”
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Borealis: A Zutara Story