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Just One More Sin	By : AberrantScript Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 5501 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House and make no money off this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Author's Notes:
As an important note: while these girls are Christians, they are not all settled in their beliefs. If you take two random Christians, from anywhere in the world, and match every single belief of theirs together... you will never find a perfect match. Each of these girls are unique, and that will be very important to this story.
Disclaimer: The Loud House Copyright Nickelodeon (2018); River of Jordan by Reno & Smiley and the Tennessee Cutups (1965); I Won't Have to Cross Jordan Alone and Beg, Steal, or Borrow (sources unknown)
Chapter 2: Just One Touch
I blink my tired eyes open as the smell of coffee reaches my nose. I shake my head to clear the fog in my mind and only struggle a little as I get out of bed.
When my feet touch down on the ground, my nightshirt ruffles around me, and I go to adjust the bra that I wore to sleep in. It's uncomfortable and bites into my skin, but it's ok. I'm used to it at this point.
I go to the mirror first and check my body, my clothes, to make sure I am decent.
I look over at my sister and I smile as she snores from under her blanket, her hair done up in a simple braid just as mine is.
I put on slippers and open my bedroom door, entering the hall. I instantly see my only brother, Lincoln, in pajama pants and a shirt, standing in front of the bathroom door. When his eyes see me, he instantly takes a step back, smiles, and waves a hand in front of himself.
With a small smile, I thank him and take my spot in front of him… standing to the side so I don't, um, accidentally give him something to look at… to tempt him with my body.
I've already brought one sibling down to Hell with me… I can't bring another!
When the bathroom door opens, Lynn and Lucy both step out… and I go to enter, but I pause and call out for Leni.
In this household, water is saved. Sisters do not bathe alone, but in pairs for that very reason. And even though I know I will be tempted, I always pair myself with Leni because… well, the reason should be fairly obvious, right?
If there was anyone in the history of time itself that could never sin, that someone would be Leni.
In retrospect, I know I should have made a pact with Leni… but it was too late for that now. No amount of wishful thinking would ever change my actions… abate the consequences to my sins.
Together, I and Leni enter the bathroom, and we lock the door. We do not face each other as we strip. We do not look at each other, except in the eyes, as we begin washing in the shower.
As the water falls down my hair, across my shoulders, along my breasts and back and legs… I shiver in purest pain. Because I can feel it once again rising up in me. I feel that urge to turn around… to bare myself to Leni… to reach out and touch her hair… to smell her fragrant body… and so, so many other things… sinful things.
But I tread it underfoot. I will not bring down another sibling!
I can't!
I won't…
I… hope…
She hums as she rinses her hair and the music fills my ears and my head like the sweetest symphony, lighting my senses on fire. I want to hear her singing other notes… special tunes… as my hands roam her body; as I play her like a fine instrument.
She finishes first and I squeeze my eyes shut so she can dress in privacy.
Soon, my hair is rinsed. Soon, I am dressed. Soon, my hair is brushed down my back, and a simple band is placed in my bangs.
I go to look out the window, but I am too afraid to do so… for an angel may be there, and I know they can sense the anguish inside me… the evil lurking deep in my heart.
My breathing turns frantic; my nails scrape my palms as my fists clench; my eyes threaten to burst with tears.
Then, I force myself to take a single deep breath and utter a simple prayer; a single verse.
My lifeverse:
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
The words fill my tender, sore heart with strength and for one second I feel like I can face my God and my family once again.
Focusing on that fragile feeling, I open the door and behold my ten siblings scurrying around the hall.
My one and only brother is the first one I see, and I cannot bring myself to look into his eyes.
I hurry to the steps, ignoring the worried eyes of my pact-sister. I rush down the steps, but slow as I reach the bottom.
As my foot steps onto the old wooden floor, the bouncy trill of a banjo and an acoustic guitar reaches my ears and a small smile graces my cheeks. As I walk into the kitchen, I see dad's radio on the counter, an empty cassette case laying on top of it. And a smooth baritone voice sings from the speakers:
"To the River of Jordan my Savior went one day…"
My heart clenches in the same moment I feel relief. It is a feeling indescribable… such hope and despair which fills my soul in equal measures.
"We read that John the Baptist met Him there."
I see that mother has prepared a breakfast, so I go to sit at the table… and I wait; never touching my plate, my drink, my silverware. My hands are clasped on top my skirt; my head is bowed.
"When John baptized Jesus in Jordan's rushing waters…"
I close my eyes and pray… I clench my hands and hope…
"The mighty power of God filled the air."
…that just a single drop of Jordan's waters would fall upon me and cleanse me of the filth in my soul.
"Well, I'm on my way (to the River of Jordan)."
I envision myself in sackcloth, with ashes upon my head, stumbling on weak feet to the edge of an endless river.
"Gonna wade right in (to the rushing waters)!"
I shiver as the deep chill of the icy waters scrapes across my barren feet.
"I'm going down (I'm going down) to the River of Jordan!"
I can barely stifle my scream as I am pulled in…
"And let the cool waters cleanse my soul."
I open my eyes and there are tears in them, but I must wipe them away before they are seen.
My soul is not worthy. It will never be worthy. Christ may have died for everyone in the world… but I… I cannot be saved. Not now… not ever…
I flinch when a sister sits down beside me and touches my arm.
My teary eyes turn and are captured by the anxious blues of my oldest sibling, Lori.
"Luna, are you alright?" she whispers so mother and father cannot hear.
I shake my head faintly so only she can know.
I am not alright.
I am sinful.
I am evil.
I… I deserve to die…
She looks at me tenderly and squeezes my arm, and I nearly whine because of the sudden lust that courses through my tired, sore, agonized heart.
This is why Hell was made… for beings such as I… for those that know what they do is wrong, and not only do it… but brings others into sin with them.
I brought my dearest sister, Lori, down to Hell with me… I damned her… with my uncontrolled lust; my weakness; with the evil inside my heart.
"I'm sorry, Lori…" I sob quietly and turn away to look at my hands. I open them and see the faintest hints of blood in my palms.
"I-it's not your fault, Luna…"
I sniffle.
That is not true. It is my fault.
God didn't make me this way…
I took of the fruit of sin myself; and much like Eve, I tempted my sister to join me in my despair.
What kind of monster does that to her own family?
Soon, the family gathers around the table like flowers in the Master's bouquet, and not a soul makes a peep as father's head bows, and his lips part, and he gives thanks to God.
As I sit there I can feel a cage around my heart; each throbbing beat like the painful stab of a knife into my chest. I cannot look up, around, at my family, because they will know. They would see it in my eyes.
In the corner of my eye, I can see that Lori does not look around either.
As two sisters, two lovers, two sinners… we sit and eat and pretend for a handful of minutes that we are still good Christian girls.
As today is Sunday, we find ourselves in a dusty, small, poorly-lit classroom soon after breakfast. As is the custom of most rural community churches, everyone ten years old and up are bunched together and, despite their vast differences and needs, given the same lesson, the same way, with the same expectations. By this point, I know the lessons by heart since my teacher only uses a quarterly. I sigh and hang my head low.
I am sitting on a rickety bench made for small kids. My knees are very tightly held together, and as an extra precaution, my hands are folded and hang over the bumpy joints. The fact that I wear ankle-length skirts does not matter, and I make no fuss about it.
What I would like to fuss about is that I am sitting between my brother, Lincoln, and my sister, Lucy.
I need Lori. I should be sitting by her. But she has a class that she teaches even though she's only seventeen. Though the church has capable adults, none were willing to do the job, and for weeks the little kids went without… until Lori persuaded the pastor to let her teach them.
Sadly, she does not need help since there are only three children in attendance: my sisters, Lana, Lola, and Lily. Yes, I am aware of the obvious confusion at this point. Why is Lucy not in that class?
I feel a tug on my sleeve and I turn my head to the side, and there is Lucy; an open Bible upon her skirt-clad knees.
Lucy became interested in lessons that weren't taught to kids her age, and the pastor convinced our parents to let her join the teen class. Those interests? Sin. Death. Hell. Prophecy.
"What do you think about these verses, Luna?" she whispers to me.
My eyes skim over it quickly so as not to attract the attention of my teacher, and my heart catches in my throat.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? …neither fornicators …nor adulterers …shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified…
My hands tremble on my knees as those words fill my mind.
Once upon a time they comforted me. Because once in a dream I was that… but then, I surrendered my life to God.
O-only… now… I'm not too sure.
"Luna, what's wrong?" Lucy asks me.
And I cannot reply. I can barely stop the sob from wracking my body.
I look up briefly, to see many of my own family in this little room; Luan and Lynn in the corner playing with paper while the teacher isn't looking; Leni humming and bobbing her head side to side, an open study Bible on her lap and a pen at the ready to take notes; and Lincoln on one side of me, twiddling his thumbs, and Lucy staring at me from the other side.
"I-I'm fine," I croak out.
She hums, and I have the sweet pleasure of dwelling on my sinful state once again… which is no comfort to me.
After class we sit through a service. There are only a dozen others in attendance besides my family; even still, they manage to sing for an hour.
I have always enjoyed music and I dream of the day father will let me learn a simple instrument… but the singing here is repetitive and slow. Many songs I really like… but the way they are done has ruined them for me.
But there is still one thing I enjoy about the choir.
That heavenly voice drifting from the very first row.
I am sitting in the sanctuary, in a pew, and I can see her clearly…
And she… she is looking at me as she sings.
The song they are singing surrounds me with its bittersweet melody.
"I won't have to cross Jordan alone…"
Her sparkling blue eyes; her tender, modest voice, which is the only one I can hear; the soft sway of her body as she moves to the song… it overcomes the pain in my heart for just one second…
"Jesus died all my sins to atone."
My soul crumbles once again. I frown, and I can see Lori's own lips turn downward as she herself realizes what it is she is singing.
"When the darkness I see… He'll be waiting for me…"
My arms circle around my chest as I shiver and quake.
Once upon a time, this song was romantic to me. Once in a dream, it brought tears to my eyes, hope in my bosom, and love for my Savior…
"I won't have to cross Jordan alone."
And now it only fills me with the darkest dread I have ever felt…
Lori's eyes spill their tears in tune with my own.
…because when I cross Jordan into Hell, I won't be alone.
Lori will be there right beside me, hand in hand, before the ashen gates leading into a lake of fire.
My arms are clenched tightly together.
My feet are dragging across the wooden floor in the hall.
My brown eyes are crying; the tears trail down my cheeks.
I open the door to my room and my sister is sitting on her bed. A radio is on our shared dresser. A song is playing.
"And can I truly say, that I've done enough today…"
My body trembles, from my head to my toes, and I fall to my knees.
"Luna?" My sister stands, worried for me.
"If today would be the day that Jesus come."
I am alone. All alone.
My hands on a hard, unforgiving floor find no peace.
My weeping face, turned downward to hide my shame, is the testament of my guilt.
I feel a hand upon my shoulder and my soul screams out for relief… for death.
"And if I'm turned away… I'll have no more chance to pray."
"Luna, look at me."
And I do. I look up into her hazel eyes. I see her long, swirling ponytail, her thin eyebrows, and the faint freckles on the bridge of her nose. The song, still playing, becomes a distant memory.
My flesh roars inside with sudden desire, and I know right then; right at that very moment.
It doesn't matter anymore.
It wouldn't matter if I had another chance.
No prayer will save me now.
There is no atonement for the sins which I have committed.
For every sin that is done under heaven is against another man…
Except for the one I am guilty. It is the only one which scars my own body; permanently; marks me for eternity as unfaithful to my future spouse… as a perverted being… as a woman which corrupted the natural use of her own body… and even as a seductress, luring others down into Hell with my words of honey, my lips of wine.
As I look into the eyes of my scared sister, Luan, I see the same fear I know I had in days past.
When my hand reaches out to hers, I feel that same electric surge I felt with Lori… I see her eyes shift into confusion… I lick my dry lips with my tongue.
"L-Luna, wh-what's wrong?"
She looks so worried, so timid, so shy… like a lamb in the fold… a-and here in this moment, my ribs ache under the strain of my heart, my shoulders sag with the weight of my mind…
For I know I am the wolf… and my greed has become too great.
And Luan is a lamb too pure, too delicate… too intoxicating… to ignore.
My hand rubs along her arm and my eyes grow wide and teary.
"Will you pray with me?" I plead with a low, off voice.
Her brows crinkle, but she sits down beside me. She closes our door for privacy, and the sound of it shutting only makes my heart beat faster.
"What do you want to pray about, Luna?"
My heart stills as my mind floats back to the surface, fighting against my lust for one fleeting battle.
The outcome was already decided before it began.
"I-I've been… feeling things."
She moves closer to me. She lays a hand on my knee; twines her other hand with mine for support.
"What have you been feeling?"
I look deeper into her eyes. I cannot make out what it is I am seeing; whether fear or curiosity.
"Fire."
Her breath catches as my free hand travels to her side, to her ribs; rubbing her softly through her shirt.
"L-Luna…"
I see her pupils dilating. Her brows are furrowing in worry. Her mouth gasps in shock.
"What is it, Luan?"
She cannot draw her breath for seconds; and soon I find myself leaning toward her, seeking warmth.
Soon, the air returns to her body and her satin lips mold around spoken words.
"Y-your eyes… they changed."
Indeed, they have.
I know they are darker now. No longer the vibrant brown they were in the morning; they are shadows, murky, tarlike... full of fire and brimstone.
We do not pray.
I lay down on the ground and pull her beside me.
We look into each other's eyes as my hand keeps rubbing her side; my other hand squeezes her fingers tighter.
Her breath feels different as it puffs against my chin. It feels hotter… faster.
She is looking deeply into my eyes, searching me out, and… and I can tell they are brown now. No longer a light, whimsical hazel color; they are getting darker… just like mine.
"Tell me about your feelings, Luna."
I wet my lips once again.
"It's something I can't explain… but I can show you."
I see it then. A momentary flicker of debate in her pupils, but it lasts for only a second before it vanishes.
Her pink tongue darts out to wet her lips; they're glistening now; I want to kiss them, nip at them… I want to do so much more; so much it's starting to burn inside me!
"Show me, Luna," she breathlessly whispers; her airy words puffing against my lips.
I remember the feeling of Lori laying atop my prone body, and the urge to let Luan feel the same overcomes me.
She gasps as I push her onto her back, as I slip a knee between hers and drape my body across her side.
My elbows rest on the hard wooden floor; my hands touch her flushed cheeks; my eyes look into hers, unblinking, waiting with urgent need…
My eyes close and the sense of touch blooms until it controls my body. It floods my body: with her warmth beneath me; her breasts pressing against me; her lean thigh quivering under my crotch; her hot breaths mixing with my own.
It is already too much and not enough at the same time.
I push forward until my nose bumps into hers. I angle to the side and continue until my lips mold against hers and her gasp fills my open mouth.
My tongue reaches out and licks her upper lip as I slowly pull back.
Her eyes are barely open; they go ahead and close fully as her body begs for air, her legs twitch beneath me, her hands clasp onto my shoulders for strength and support.
"Luan?"
I feel a gnawing worry deep in my chest when she opens her eyes slowly, and they look haunted, scared, burned…
Tears fall down her cheeks as she pulls on my body harshly, crashing our lips together painfully.
I feel her tongue prod my lips and I let it enter.
I feel her thigh arch into me and I gasp into her mouth as her skirt grazes against my very core.
I feel the urge to grind myself on her; an urge I cannot stop.
She pulls back and turns her head to the side to hide her shame.
I look away to hide my own.
"L-Luna… I'm s-so sorry…" she sobs against the floor.
I say nothing. I do not know if she is speaking about my own sin… or her own… If she is truly speaking to her sinful sister… or to the God that is surely looking down on us in disappointment.
"Hush, dearest one," I whisper into her ear.
She shakes and trembles beneath me in her anguish.
"I c-c-can't! I-I can feel it now… d-d-down there!"
I freeze as she grabs my hand; as she trails it down her white blouse, past her belt, and down her brown skirt. Through her layers of clothing I can feel it… burning… searing against my very hand!
I look into her watery eyes and my heart shatters.
She is burning alive; all because of me!
Luan sobs. "I-I'm on fire. M-m-make it go away…! P-please!"
I nod shakily and push my hand against her skirt, and my spine thrills at her shocked gasp.
I hear a thump outside our door and my very soul stops. I look up at the door, scared for my very life.
Luan is still writhing beneath me, and I hurriedly clamp a hand over her lips to silence her whimpering prayers.
I look down at her with terrified eyes, but she returns the gaze with one of purest need. Her eyebrows are drawn in pain, her hips writhe against my body; tears fall from her, each one silently pleading for me to take the sin away from her body… to pull it out with my hand.
I gulp as I press my hand against her crotch again, and her entire body spasms beneath me.
It is a feeling indescribable; seeing her face grimace in agony, feeling her body quake in shock beneath me, hearing her muffled scream through my own hand.
I need to feel her heart against my breast. So, I release her lips and move instantly to claim them with my own.
Her gasps fill my mouth like a toxic venom without an antidote. I can never get enough of them. I am addicted… a slave… to my sister's lust.
She bends beneath me like a rainbow… a covenant, a promise…
Tears fall from my eyes as she falls still, as her eyes slowly dim as the far abates, as her breathing grows steady once again… and she covers her mouth with her hand and wails in dreadful agony.
"What have I done!?" I hear her forsaken plea through her fingers and I close my eyes.
I roll off of her and look at the ceiling, thinking of rainbows… or a covenant to destroy the earth for its sin, not with water, but with fire.
What have I done?
What have I done to my little sister!?
Luan crawls to her bed and gets under her sheets and weeps into her hands.
I cannot move as the sound kills me slowly inside.
She moves under the sheets, but the fluttery feeling of cotton makes her tingle and gasp.
"L-Luna…" she pleads to me. "…i-i-it's back. I can feel it!"
I sigh as the heavy weight of our shared sins hangs against my shoulders.
But still, I lean up on my elbow and look at her.
She is scared, frightened, utterly terrified… but she needs me.
I stand on leaden legs and make my way toward her.
If I don't look up… if I don't look at the nightstand where Luan's Bible lies… if I don't look at anything but her stricken eyes… then, I can do this. For her. For me. For Lori.
"Just one more touch, Luan… a-and maybe the fire will go away."
She nods and lets me in beside her.
We never remove our clothes… even though our bodies beg to become naked, to bare our shame and sin to the world's eyes…
But we learn something important as day turns to night…
One more kiss wouldn't help.
One more touch wouldn't help.
We need more.
We ache for more.
We are burning alive, from the inside out, for something… some sin just barely out of our reach.
Hours after night falls, as we lie still side by side, aching with need… there is a knock on the door. There is a gentle creak as it opens and a wisp of snowy hair leans into the room.
No. One kiss will never help. One touch will only stir the coals.
What we need is… just one brother.
Just one more sinner.
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Just One More Sin