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Borealis: A Zutara Story	By : jaded_priceless Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 34026 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, any historical figures or events, or easily recognizable persons, places or things. I make no profit from this work of fanfiction

Chapter List
- 166
- 167
- 168
Chapter 164
Zuko was carrying a large bowl of what he called stinkweed and rice soup when he returned. Katara was about to ask if beating her wasn’t enough and he was now planning to withhold food when he lifted the bowl to reveal it was sitting inside another. As always Fan’s cooking was delicious but she had to force herself to eat. Her arms had begun hurting after lifting a few spoonfuls and Zuko had fed her.
The Dai Li’s agent’s words had been enough to remind her of why she needed to eat even if it meant being fed by Zuko. She needed to remain strong so she could free Aang and end the war. No one should ever think the only way to provide a good life for their children was by betraying their people and becoming a Fire Nation conspirator. Sokka and Taruk had told her that they’d overheard their Dad telling Bato one of their tribesmen had to have alerted the Fire Nation of her bending but he couldn’t prove it.
Her people scattered even farther after the last attack. With the exception of Bato, her mother’s ninth cousin twice removed and she hadn’t seen her mother’s side of the family in years. Her uncle, head of her mother’s clan, had opted to take them farther inland to a place that could never be found by the Fire Nation. She knew part of it was he had never gotten along with her father and that in some way he resented her mother for stealing his birthright away from him. They were twins. Kya had been the oldest.
He once drunkenly claimed that La visited them in utero and asked which one wanted to bring salvation to their people. She shoved him out of the way to receive the blessing that allowed her to produce a Waterbender. A blessing that should have gone to him to pass on to his sons instead of being wasted on a useless koalaotter. After her mother died her uncle started being kind to her but she never forgot those words.
Useless koalaotter.
Katara choked down the rest of her food. She wondered what her uncle would say if he knew her koalaotter was the only thing protecting his nephew and the Avatar. She wondered what her father would say if he knew she was a Fire Nation conspirator. She had given them the means to create a land route to maintain their hold on the recently conquered capital of the Earth Kingdom.
She was certain the people of Ba Sing Se would have eventually overthrown their oppressors. It took time to navigate the continent and Full Moon Bay was heavily guarded. Now the Fire Nation could call troops overland from the colonies to support them. It was all her doing. Those lakes were large enough for Appa to swim in. Many times when water was called up from underground to the surface it stole resources from another location. Katara didn’t want to think of the Earth Kingdom towns she’d robbed to provide water for the Fire Nation.
She closed her eyes willing her food to digest before crawling to her pack. She didn’t trust herself to stand. She collected soap and clean clothing and took it to the bathroom in the same manner; after providing water to the Fire Nation she no longer had anything to feel proud of.

Zuko said nothing after helping Katara eat her share of the food. His conversation with Chu-hua was not the standard lecture he’d been expecting. He looked at his mostly untouched bowl then set it down unable to stomach anymore of it. The only person he’d ever thought would ever be capable of scaring him so much had been his father. He had forgotten who she was and what she knew. He had forgotten the threat she posed to Katara.
Zuko was so lost in his thoughts that the last rays of the sun disappeared and the moon was high in the sky when he realized Katara was still in the bathroom. He knocked on the door and called her name but didn’t get an answer. He knocked several more times without getting a response before finally pushing it open. “Katara?”
She looked at the figure in the doorway and then at the bloody cloths in her hand, “Did you know?”
Zuko stepped into the room replying quietly “Did I know what?”
“Did you know I started my cycle? It came yesterday morning sometime after we finished but before the first stop. Did you know I was bleeding before you hit me this time? That my cycle had started; that the girl who found the Avatar hadn’t beaten the odds again? That nothing took root all those times you filled me with your semen?”
“Katara…” her name was a pained whisper across his lips as he kneeled beside her.
“Answer the question; did you know? Or do you not stop and think about these things before beating the woman you’ve been raping?” Katara snorted, “I guess I can’t call it rape since I’ve agreed to be your whore.”
Zuko placed his hand on her arm then allowed it slide down into the water and interlaced their fingers. Katara’s knuckles were raw from scrubbing but he knew that wasn’t the only source of blood in the water. “It hurts Zuko. I hurt that night too and next day and the next. It hurt so bad. Every time I do this it hurts. That night…I wasn’t expecting anything to be there… ”
Katara lifted one of the more heavily soiled wraps, “I saw it. I held it in my hand. There was a clump that was different from the others. Most of the time blood is shapeless like this. This clump was the same size but had more definition. It was hard and looked like the early stages of a tadpole. I knew what it was. It was so tiny and vulnerable. There was some part of me saying not to let go to try and reattach it to my womb but I was frozen. I let my child slip through my fingers and down the drain like it was nothing.”
She tilted her head to look him in the eye and quietly asked again, “Did you know that I had started my cycle? When you tackled me to the ground, hit me, kicked me, and slapped me, did you know that I was already bleeding? That I wasn’t …that I was the only one you were hurting?”
Zuko laid his head against hers and nodded.
Katara pulled her hands away from his and stood slowly. Her gait was uneven as she stepped through the doorway. She lay down on the dirt floor with head on her pack. Zuko remained in the bathroom; the back of his hands resting in the water as he stared at the bloody cloth draped across his palms. He could have done it again; he could have killed another of his children.
He would have thought he had done it again if not for the absolution of Katara’s whispered accusation echoing in his ear, “Liar.”
- 166
- 167
- 168
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Borealis: A Zutara Story