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Borealis: A Zutara Story	By : jaded_priceless Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 34026 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, any historical figures or events, or easily recognizable persons, places or things. I make no profit from this work of fanfiction

Chapter List
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Chapter 116
That night Sokka was taken back to the brig and she was left alone with Zuko. She was afraid of what Zuko was going to do to her now that she was no longer under the military’s protection and he knew she’d been bending Appa’s waste at him on purpose. Katara looked around the room; no place was safe. She’d been raped in the bed, on the coffee table, on the sofa and in the bathroom. She balled her fist up preparing to fight when he went into the restroom.
He came out an hour later and muttered, “I used all the hot water,” as he walked to the large dresser and began pulling out something to wear.
Katara remained on the sofa holding the same book she’d attacked him with the day she was captured and boot he had given her waiting for him to attack. To her surprise he walked up and gave her a dagger, “This would be more effective. The hot water’s probably back by now. I’m tired and just want to sleep. Take it with you when you shower if it will make you feel better.”
Katara took the knife and removed it from its sheathe. It was inscribed “Never give up without a fight.” She turned it over expecting to find more wisdom. She could not help but comment when she saw what was carved on the other side. “Made in the Earth Kingdom?”
She turned her head to Zuko and laughed, “Isn’t it a bit counter-productive for you to carry a knife encouraging the enemy to keep fighting?”
“Mom also thought it was funny. I was ten when Uncle sent that knife to me. She always said when it came to decision making I am my own worst enemy and she took it from me planning to hold onto it until I was older. I got it back within a week. She gave it back the night she died. She told me ‘that no matter how things may seem to change, never forget who I was’. It seems like all I’ve remembered is how to disappoint her,” Zuko replied with a half-smile. He closed his eyes, “Goodnight Katara. Until you wake, I promise not touch you unless you ask me to.”
Katara took the dagger in the restroom with her and turned on the cold water. She froze the door shut then turned on the hot water. Zuko didn’t come in. He opened his eyes when she lay down and shifted slightly to make room for her but quickly resumed his quiet snoring. Katara held the dagger in her hand as she fell asleep.
It was still there the next morning when she woke up snuggled against Zuko’s chest. True to his word he had not touched her. She could tell he’d been awake for a while by the expression on his face. He seemed calm; most of the time he woke up dazed and unfocused or anxious and ready to fight if something had woken him.
Katara shifted slightly; his morning erection pressed again her hip. Normally she would have been woken by kisses and her hand would be inside his underwear by now. She looked up at him in question.
He smiled as she pushed the hair from her face, “I told you last night I wouldn’t touch you unless you asked me to.”
Katara’s smile was interrupted by a yawn. She rolled away and stretched. Zuko took the action as a refusal and slowly pulled his arm from beneath her. She warbled, “Wherumpf you gawng?” and rolled back towards him.
Zuko paused and tilted his head towards her, “I thought.”
Katara yawned and stretched again. Her voice was still husky with sleep when she answered, “I slept really well last night Zuko.”
“It takes me a few yaaawwns,” she yawned again and giggled slightly when she was finished, “see what I mean, and stretches to get going.”
Katara moved closer, draping the left half of her body over his right and nuzzling his neck with their face, “It was nice sleeping next to you all night without interruption.”
Zuko smiled sadly in understanding. He had realized and come to appreciate the fact that Katara was an affectionate person so long as sexual intercourse was not involved. He wished they were in a situation that would allow their relationship to naturally evolve. Katara’s hand left hand grazed his chest as her right slide beneath his body to hug him.
He kissed her lightly on the nose, “Is this an invitation?”
Katara’s hand slid lower. Zuko shivered as it moved from his chest to below his waist. She kissed his neck as her fingers snuck inside his pajamas and teased him through his loincloth. Zuko’s eyes rolled back in his head and he hissed as her hand pushed aside the fabric. Katara’s hands were always cold. Her touches were still timid compared to Mai’s but he could feel her desire to explore. Knowing her hand was on his penis because she wanted it to be there and not because it was expected of her was such a turn on. He came as her fingers curved along the side of his dragon and lifted. He’d been awake for a while and that part of his body had been begging for attention but he wasn’t expecting for it to be over that quickly. He blushed and stammered, “I..aah.”
Katara wiped her hand on his pajamas pants and smiled. Now that his erection was taken care of she didn’t have to worry about him going further. She wasn’t expecting to feel the warm weight of his hand on her thigh or that he would ask, “Katara, do you want me to touch you?”
It was only afterwards when her body was still trembling and she’d had enough of his fingers, Katara realized that she’d told him yes and that his next question had been “where?”.

They ate breakfast on deck and remained outside most of the day. She saw Mu and several other members of the veterinary staff but didn’t see Sokka.
Zuko noticed her scanning the deck and asked, “Do you want to go see him?”
Each time she saw the veterinarian he was carrying animal byproducts that couldn’t be re-purposed so she reasoned Sokka was downstairs mucking out stalls. She’d had enough of animal dung and really didn’t want to smell more of it, “Will you take me to see him tomorrow?”
Zuko nodded in relief. Last night they’d switched escorts again and Mu had told him the Water Tribe boy was in poor condition. He didn’t want Katara to get upset this early in the day.
The ships laundry service had finally returned to normal now that the air above deck was fresh.

There was a pit in Zuko’s stomach when he went to bed that night. He knew unlike the previous night he could not allow Katara to have a peaceful night’s rest. A smart remark from Azula made him realize all this time he’d been searching for the sheet stealer in the wrong place. It would make more sense for a nobleman to bribe a steward or a member of the laundry staff. Servants had access to everyone’s secrets and would be more inclined to accept financial incentive. He’d been primarily concentrating on the crew members.
Now that the stewards were no longer needed for bison clean up he knew whoever had been checking for signs of lost interest would soon be back. There had to be evidence he had lain with Katara. The last few days had done much to improve his relationship with Katara and he knew forcing himself on her again would only destroy the fragile amount of trust he had managed to regain.
He knew no matter what he did he would most likely provoke her anger. He decided that asking would be his best course of action but placed the oil Bingwen had given him and something to bind her beneath the bed as a precaution. He hoped that she would allow him inside her but he was willing to go through any lengths to protect her.

Katara was in a good mood when she lay next to Zuko. She’d felt a lot better after he’d let Sokka spend the night with them and hadn’t touched her last night even though they were alone. She knew something was wrong when Zuko continued to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling; most of the time he at least said goodnight or scooted closer to her. If anything he appeared to tense up.
Wisps of smoke escaped Zuko’s mouth as he inhaled deeply then sighed in frustration. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and before nervously asking, “What’s wrong?”
He chose his words carefully before responding, “I care about you Katara. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you.”
Katara’s brow furrowed in confusion, “What are you talking about, Zuko?”
After a few moments he turned to face her, “Why won’t you let me make love to you?”
“What?” she asked confused.
“What do I have to do for our joining to be consensual? Just tell me; whatever it is, I’ll do it, but please tell me what I have to do to make love to you?” Zuko asked quietly.
Katara’s face scrunched up in disbelief, “Are you serious? This is what is bothering you?”
“Yes,” Zuko replied before hesitantly continuing, “I know receiving me hurts you, but you didn’t seem to be in any pain at first the other day. You didn’t start saying it hurt until you started fighting. Other people do it without problems; do you think you might be in pain because you’re fighting? Did it still hurt as much the days you had the sleeping treatment in the infirmary?”
Katara opened her mouth but no words came out. She was absolutely stunned by what she was hearing.
“What we do isn’t supposed to hurt Katara. Mu and Quanli have been doing it since they were kids and he said she’s never complained about pain. What if it’s not just me doing it wrong; maybe you’re hurting because you keep fighting? Most people don’t fight during the intimate act. Can we do it once without fighting to see what happens?”
“Are you stupid? Zuko you raped me!” Katara shrieked, “What makes you think I want to give myself to you? What makes you think I want anything to do with you?”
“But this morning you said yes when I asked if you wanted me to touch you,” Zuko argued his voice hitching with emotion, “You told me where you wanted to be touched let me put my fingers inside you. You liked it and you weren’t hurting. Why do you always fight when it’s my dragon? Why don’t you try it once without fighting? I promise I’ll do anything you want. I’ll give you anything you ask for, just please Katara, will you try it just once? I know it wasn’t the way either of us wanted, but you’re my first woman. You’ve carried my child. Even without the signet, I’m bonded to you Katara. We share something special. What do I have to do for you to acknowledge it? For you to give yourself to me as I’ve given myself to you?”
“Nothing!” Katara yelled as she elbowed him.
“There is nothing you can do to make me give myself to you. What do you think I am? Some kind of whore?” Katara replied angrily as she sat up. She watched him warily as she slid to the edge of the bed.
“No, Katara, I don’t. I know you’re not a whore; that’s not what I meant. I care about you. I don’t like to see you in pain,” Zuko hastily explained. He received a knee to the shin as she crawled over him to go lie on the sofa.
Katara paused; settling on top of his thighs. He had been some somewhat off kilter all afternoon as if he was lost in deep contemplation. He seemed even more disturbed now that he was speaking. She searched his face for answers hoping that for once he would tell her the truth and asked, “You have a choice, Zuko, I don’t. If you don’t like to see me in pain, why do you keep hurting me?”
He placed his hands on her feet, his thumbs skimmed the tops of them as the pads of his fingers warmed the acupressure points on her soles, “I’m trying not to Katara. I’m doing everything Bingwen told me to. I’m starting to think I always end up hurting you because you keep fighting. You’ll be taken away from me if there isn’t proof of my continued interest. I have to use force to keep you under my protection because you won’t allow it. I don’t understand why you keep fighting when I’m trying to protect you.”
“It’s not as if I don’t care for you. I do. Before I started to feel this way I respected you. I spoke Su Uwriyel’s vow over you our first time. I have given you things I haven’t even given to my fiancée. I promise to always cherish you. I want to spend my life with you and I’ve asked you to be my queen. I know I’ve wronged you and that you are angry but you let me kiss, hold and touch you. We’re getting along so much better. I understand virginity is sacred among your people. It’s also sacred among mine. We’ve already lost ours to each other. I gave a part of my soul to you as I took a part of yours. I know we aren’t in what you consider a marriage but we are share a spiritual bond and you’ve been given legal recognition as my concubine.”
Katara slid away slowly as Zuko muttered, “I can understand if you don’t share my feelings about making love but will you at least allow me to couple with you without fighting simply so you won’t be in pain?”

Arraye: Thank you so much for letting me know I missed this chapter. I am grateful for the feedback.
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Borealis: A Zutara Story