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Borealis: A Zutara Story	By : jaded_priceless Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 34026 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, Avatar: The Legend of Korra, any historical figures or events, or easily recognizable persons, places or things. I make no profit from this work of fanfiction

Chapter List
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Chapter 111
Now that the testosterone rush had subsided and his dragon gone to sleep Zuko once more started to care about what he had done. He had raped her. He could not justify this act as being for her protection. The steward had taken their sheets this morning. He doubted anyone would use his dirty pants as evidence. It was rape pure and simple. He had pushed into her because he wanted to. He had asked and she said no.
He had hurt her because of a selfish impulse when he could have been patient enough to obtain satisfaction outside of her. He could feel the stickiness against his flaccid penis that had nothing to do with his semen. He looked down and this time saw the blood he was expecting to see earlier. He had lost control again and he had hurt her.
Zuko called her name hesitantly, “Katara?”
She had been wet and he had entered her easily. He would not have hurt her if she had not struggled. Zuko lowered his head and corrected himself. He would not have hurt her if he had not been so selfish. She screamed the moment his dragon breached her then cried, fought, hit, scratched, bit and bucked wildly to get away from him. He should have listened and taken it out when she first asked him to. If he had done so she would not be injured.
If he would have never put it in he could have brought pleasure to her instead of pain and she would still trust him. Every time he managed to show her his words and feelings were sincere or seemed to gain a bit of trust he did something stupid to jeopardize it
He should have listened to what Lu Ten had told him instead of listening to his dragon. He should have waited until he could convince Katara her phoenix was hungry for him instead of forcibly invading her cavern.
“Katara,” Zuko repeated her name more quietly this time. He reached out and gathered her hair then held it as her mouth erupted again. He waited until she was finished to place his hand on her back. She lost her balance as she knocked it away. Instead of immediately getting back up she curled onto her side. A keening whine rumbled in her throat before she was able to catch enough breath to emit a high pitched wail and break down into sobs.
Zuko wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry beside her. He had done this to her. It wasn’t the night and they weren’t in bed there were no sheets to dirty. He had given into his urges and hurt her. He must be sick to feel such things while she was miserable. There had to be something wrong with him if giving into his dragon made him forget what he was doing to her. It disgusted him to know that seeing her in pain, crying and throwing up wasn’t enough to halt the spew of his dragon; it never was. He had to be some type of monster to climax while hurting her.
Zuko lifted her and carried her into the shower. He washed her face, her hair, her body then just held her as she sobbed. She was like this because of him. He had hurt her so very badly, much too badly this time. Most of the time when he washed her she’d knock his hand away when he got near her thighs or abdomen. This time she’d continue to cry. She hadn’t cursed or yelled or bent at him to get out so she could wash her privates. She had stopped sobbing and was now whimpering quietly between gasps for air and wails. He stroked her hair and wiped his nose with the towel so his snot unlike his tears would not get on her.
She threw up twice more and he washed her again and held her until she finally cried herself to sleep. He continued to hold her, raising his body temperature to keep her warm as she slept beneath the spray of cold water.

Katara woke up warm and surrounded by water. She sat up to stretch then noticed her surroundings. She was in the shower. She and Zuko both were and they were wrinkled. He was shivering; they had been there so long the water had gotten cold enough for the Firebender to shiver.
She wanted to yell at him but her head hurt too badly and her throat felt raw from earlier. She slowly moved away from him.
Zuko’s teeth chattered as he pensively called her name, “Katara?”
She said what she knew would make him leave without his voice grating on her nerves or his false concern further sickening her. “I’m better now. You should go get dry and warm up.”
Zuko reluctantly let go of her and did not reach for her when she huddled against the corner opposite from him. He did not wait for the feeling to come back to his legs and used the wall for support as he clumsily stepped out of the shower. After drying himself, he placed his hand on the showerhead and blew a small stream of fire into the water.
The steam warmed the room slightly but Katara could tell doing it had cost him precious body heat. She wanted to be angry at him for what he had done to her but she couldn’t. Unlike what he did to her at night she was to blame for this. It was her fault for trusting him. She let him place his naked penis near her uncovered vagina. She remained wet after he pushed it inside her. She felt tears prickling against her eyes and quickly blinked them away.
Zuko was looking at her. She refused to cry in front him. Katara glanced not so subtly at the door and withdrew the liquid from the towel he’d wrapped himself in so he’d leave faster. Katara wasn’t able to identify the expression that crossed his face before he took the hint and left.
Zuko stepped back into the room and quickly dressed so he could call someone to clean up. He opened the portholes but wasn’t enough to lessen the smell. He crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his nose but there was nothing he could do to erase the moment he destroyed the joy he’d given Katara.

Katara waited until Zuko was gone to cry once more. Gran-Gran had warned her. Gran-Gran had told her what would happen if she let the wrong boy touch her. If she got caught up in lust and believed the lies he told her. This time, this time only was her fault not Zuko’s because she wanted to believe that he cared about her and respected her enough to obey her wishes about her body. It was her fault for letting him rub against her without clothing; she should have known better than to penguin sledding with Zuko.
There was a reason that act was reserved for couples about to get married. It was a test of mutal respect and willpower; only the most devoted couples were able to think of each others future and resist the temptation of pre-marital sex. Zuko did not care for her. He didn’t respect her and he certainly wasn’t devoted to her. He thought only of himself and nothing of her. It was her fault for allowing him to use her.
She could have known that Zuko did not possess the control needed to jump off when their speed approached the dangerous level. He continued to ride her, or rather she had rode him, until they crashed headfirst. Or rather she had crashed. He had managed to keep his head above water and floated to safety while she was drowning. It was her fault she felt surrounded by murky water and filth.
Katara shook her head and started laughing. The sound was harsh and bitter. She now understood why so many women at the North Pole said they smiled too widely at their husbands or exposed too much breast while nursing or bent over too far while cleaning. It was easier to blame yourself than to feel helpless. It was easier to say she did something wrong because putting the action back on herself at least gave her some control over the situation; control over what happened to her body.
If he raped her because of something she did then what happened was the result of her own actions instead of something that was done to her and outside of her control. It was stupid, so very sad and so very desperate to reassign blame to herself just because she did not want to feel helpless. Katara tilted her head back and slid directly beneath the spray of the shower. Each stinging cold drop slapped her face and served as a reminder that she had endured this long without losing herself.
She could endure for a while longer.
She placed her hand on the wall and slowly pushed herself up. She could do this. She could hold herself together long enough for them to get to the Earth Kingdom. She had been on deck with Zuko yesterday and heard someone say land would be in sight any day now. Once they saw land the journey would soon be ending. She could hold on until then. She could hold on and endure until she was able to get Sokka, Appa and Aang of the ship. She and Aang together could bend air and water far faster than any Fire Nation ship could travel. They could get far enough away to reach people who would help them. They hide underground while the Fire Nation searched overhead for them and emerge once they were long gone.
Once her brother and her friend were no longer on the ship she could chop of Zuko’s penis and gut him. She could stick it in his mouth if she tired of listening to him screamed as she slowly pulled out his intestines. She could rip off his skin, slice open his veins and let his lifeforce renew her. She could watch him die slowly then chop off his hands at the onset of his death rattles and his head as he took his final gasp.
Those missing parts would prevent his spirit from crossing over into the spirit world. His soul would remain trapped in the chasm of confusion between the mortal and spiritual realms until the remaining portion of his corpse was put it rest. His hand and hands would be taken back home for the purification ritual and destroyed by the priest. The portion of his spirit trapped inside call forth any lingering remants of his rotten soul inside of her leaving her pristine once more.
She could do this. As long as she did not allow herself to lose touch with reality she could take comfort in his warmth and let her mind to retreat into a fantasy during her worse moments. She could do whatever it took to maintain the strength and sanity to endure until she was able to escape. She was Katara, granddaughter of Kanna of the Traveling Waters, who paddled solo from the Northern Water Tribe to Southern by reminding herself that she was going home. She was Katara, daughter of Kya who was able to withstand the cold better than anyone in their tribe by imagining she was warm.
She was Katara, daughter of Hakoda who had created a weapon from skunkfish and seaweed. She was Katara, sister of Sokka who was able to convince himself it was a good idea to remove a fishhook from his thumb by using another one knowing doing so would first cause more pain. Succeeding through the use of imagination ran through her veins.
Katara inhaled and exhaled deeply while slowly lifting her arms; the temperature in the room dropped several degrees and the water droplets turned to snow. She was Katara who hoped to find a Waterbending teacher but found masters in three different styles. She was Katara who dreamed of ending the war and found the Avatar. She was Katara who wished to defeat the Fire Lord but instead was able to tell him off, threaten his life and walk out of his palace with a crown.
She was Katara who was the impossible, did the impossible and made the impossible happen. She was Katara whose future could not be determined; so long as she did not forget who she was, she could hide in daydreams until she became Katara who reclaimed her virginity by bathing in her rapist blood.
She was Katara and she would be the one to end the life of Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.
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- 114
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Borealis: A Zutara Story