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Reviews for Market Commodity

By : Scienceteacher

From Dendey on December 29, 2008
Oh I can't wait for him to get his own trophies! I sure hope they'll make some for the mini-TF races! :D
Also it's pretty cute just how jealous Sam is, some might think it calculating and cold in a way, but he really only has his lover at heart and you push that to the forefront of the readers perception. Very well done!
Cya
Den
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From Dendey on December 28, 2008
Heh, somehow his attitude kinda reminds me of Sunstreaker :D Though I bet that's not intentional is it?
I guess I like Sam and Daniel too, they're kind of...kind. But the best is that Speed cares for them already, which I find highly important, keeping in mind that soon, well in a few weeks anyway, he'll be free and follow his own mind only :D
Cya
Den

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From Dendey on December 28, 2008
Very nice character study there. TC expecting to get beaten when he does something wrong when doing it the first time was really touching.
Primus! TC all ducktaped in white and with gloves! Oh mercy :)) So glad he ain't sunny otherwise he would've be barking mad about the mess he made out of his face, but alas, he's not so not gonna happen! :D
This line �Sit down on that stool and do not touch yourself,� she ordered.* could have soooo been taken the wrong way! *wink* wonder when we're gonna see that! Also the fact that he is extremely oversensitive remains very curious indeed. I dare to think that he was supposed to be that way huh?
That's the spirit TC, Fight For Your Life! *cheers*
Awww....cloth armor...that's like the cutest ever! Especially the hissy fit he tried to throw as she laughed. :D
And believe me, I certainly wouldn't want you to write without plot! For it is quite certainly a very good one!
Cya
Den
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From Dendey on December 28, 2008
Oh my gosh!
PURRRRRFECT!!! One one hand it's not very original to be calling him TC, but on the other hand...I truly think the name is just so strikingly connected to him...I wouldn't have chosen a different one either, no matter the clich�! XP
Oh and thanx a lot for the meta-terminology. Everything else I had figured, well apart from the bonding cable, the ports I was sure about, also the fact that both ports are self lubricating systems, one more so than the other, is something I find very intriguing!
Now onta the next chappy! :D Who knows the other one might just be Skywarps clone!
cya
Den
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From Dendey on December 28, 2008
Wow...what a plot idea!
I mean seriously, with all the holoforms and tf-human stories milling about, not even to mention the holographic image inducer and the shrinking device *chuckles* one would have thought that someone already had a siliar idea...Yet nobody did!!! Amazing is all I can say here, apart from the fact that I really never expected Hook and Scrapper to be two of Megatrons more intelligent followers. Loyal? Uhm...well, apart from the fact that a gestalt team is first and foremost loyal to their gestalt...yeah I guess it could be, but I can't really see them being loyal to Megs. Sry, might be my personal opinion, but I just can't see it happening. For the way you handled Megatron. Wonderful, I especially liked the part where he petted Swindle on the helmet. Very cute indeed!
Cya
Den
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From Prizm on December 27, 2008
What is this? Someone having a hissy fit over something. So you go and post spam. who ever is doing this You need to grow up and get a life.
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From ToonQueen on December 26, 2008
**Prototypes/Insanity Part 3 - 4**
Great to see Scream getting better. Yay! :3 OMG, 'Tron is learning to blend in... creepy!
Scream being comfortable with lesbians is sweet in a sexy way. keke.

**Adore Thy Master Part 3**
Awesome ending. So there may be a Blitzwing clone around that can do dark magic? INTERESTING. X3

**To Feel Human Pt 9**
Yay sparks! I love the fact they are sparkbonding and don't know it. Sharon is so loving of them. ;-;

**Market Competition part 1**
Finally Autobots! :D I love TC and Speed's interactions with them. Keekee, very funny! So I assume they released Autobots just in case? Since they know the bad programming is gone...

** Harmony Part 2**
I love the couples interactions! I hope they get back together somehow. XD Oh man Soundwave, for a moment I forgot he had 'mind powers' until his clone expressed he had them. Awesome.

**WINNER�S LUCK**
Keekeekekeke, Twin Pack? Interestttttting. Sounds like your human character is a prude, not a bad thing, just wonderin' where thats going to go. :3

**Mentors 1-4**
Man, poor Prowl! But that is a good pick for Screamer. XD TC's going to become Jester's Sunstreaker I can see. XD I loved it when Jester put on makeup. Teehee! Prowl's inhibitions are adorable. X3 He needs to slowly get over those.

**Urban Shock PT 2**
OH CRAP. That highway scene was amazing. Love how Shockwave clone recognized himself to take orders from. This should be interesting! :D

**Plum Pickings 1-2**
Awh, poor rejected droid. I find it an interesting idea how they're a status symbol now. Makes sense, since I remember when it was a big deal to own a black ipod. (WTF?) But its true for any technology, even a personal robot. LOL. I'm interesting is seeing what was the deal with Bonnie and the real Swindle.

**Runaway PT 1**
I like how people are finding ways of non-rich people having a droid. Jazz! YAY! Hopefully he doesn't have to go back where he came from....

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From Rockinmuffin on December 25, 2008
Review for Plum Pickings Part 2:

This is starting to get interesting. This really makes me wonder what possible history Bonnie could possibly have had with Swindle. I'll admit, I'm getting curious to see where this story will go.

Also, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and all that jazz!
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From Pax on December 24, 2008
I have to say I've been following this series for a while, and love the new turns each author takes with the series. The different personalities of each clone is refreshing, and I think each of their own experiences is really making them a unique character. I feel that the story really fleshing out nicely...and it's also inspired my own muse ^-^'. Enough for me to finally get an account here and start working on a chapter ;) The only question I do have is since Autobot City exists, does that mean the new comers are there too? I.E. Hot Rod, Arcee, Springer etc?
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From Rockinmuffin on December 24, 2008
Review for Mentors Part 3:

The image of Jester and TC building a fort reminded me of my days as a child when my cousins and I would build forts in my grandparents� basement. Sometimes your chapters make me feel so nostalgic, StSE.

You know, you can�t really blame TC for his possessiveness over Sharon. After all, he was raised and has been treated very much like a human, sharing their ideals and the such. Not to mention he has spent most of his time as Sharon�s only companion, only just recently sharing her in that way with Scream, and even then he didn�t have to share her all that much. I know I�d be jealous if I were in his position. And it�s not surprising that he would want to buy her a ring. He�s been her boyfriend for long enough it�s only natural that he would want to take another step with their relationship, as much as he possibly can anyway.

I wish I could have a picture of Jester covered in make-up, blow the image up, and paste it on my wall for all eternity. Seriously.

Oh goodness� Will Jester attempt to put on some of Sharon�s dresses when she�s not around? Or try on her bras? Oh, God, please say �yes!�

You know, I don�t think I could ever do what Sharon does. I know it�s for their best interest and their own good when she makes the new Autobot clones get used to interfacing with other clones, but there�s no way I could do it if they were screaming at me to stop. Even if they like it, it�s kind of like rape. I�d wuss out the moment they told me to stop. �And then I�d feel guilty and buy them a milkshake or something.

And poor Jag! That guy just can�t get a break.

Cute chapter, and a nice fluffy ending to finish it off.

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From Rockinmuffin on December 24, 2008
Review for Runaway, part 1:

I don�t think the situation you use to set the story up is too dramatic; after all, like you said, there are people who go through those sorts of things and much worse. Also, it makes sense that there are bad people around when she�s in a city, most likely the slums, due to a lack of money.

Really, the issue you need to work on the most is your spelling and grammar. Even just a few careless mistakes can make a story hard to read and there are a lot of people out there who will stop reading an interesting story after so many little mistakes. Unfortunately, as charming as your story is, the entire piece is littered with careless grammar mistakes and typos. It�s expected that everyone�s submission will have a few but I�m afraid that you have more than what most people would deem bearable. I suggest getting yourself a beta reader for your future chapters if possible, as that�s the best way to take care of mistakes you may miss when rereading your work.

Rayann herself is a rather believable character; a woman who has most likely hit her mid-life crisis, has had trouble with love, and owns a pet which she treats as a child in order to fill the void in her lonely life.

By the way, I love Cleopatra. When I was a kid, I had a guinea pig named Jingles and she would go crazy and squeak loudly any time anyone rummaged near where here food was stored, too.

I�d also like to point out that a miniature clone of an Autobot that transforms into a car would not have an alt-mode that becomes a full size car; it would be smaller, most likely too small for a full-grown human to fit into and closer in size to those big jeeps that little kids drive around in.

I hope that my criticism doesn�t discourage you from writing and instead encourages you to work even harder. Just keep on writing to the best of your ability; the more you do it the better you get!

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From Robynm on December 23, 2008
Ah Ha! I finally worked out how to review, :) It only took me a month...

I love this idea, and I can't believe no one came up with it before, yay for StSE for opening it up to everyone. I can see this going on for years and into hundreds of chapters and storylines before it ends, if it ever does.

I've been reading since the beginning, and searching for an idea I can do, that I'll enjoy writing. Since I've never written smut before I didn't think I could do it well without some other story line being there... But I have one now. I knew I wanted to do one of the combiners, but was it ever so hard to decide, then I read mentors 2, and Bonnie popped into my head and demanded her own decepticon-autobot duo.

Okay, onto the reviewing.

I love TC. He's grown so much, and I love that he's a shopping frend, and has his own job, and earns his own money, and got all upset when it turnt out no one got him a car. I thought 'to feel human' would be my fav storyline, but then comes along 'mentors' and I get blown away.

Scream I feel for, I really do, and I'm glad he's made such a recovery. You've made the family interactions very real, very alive, and I hope to see Scream's future with TC at some point... and Jester and Jag I suppose. I do wonder if you consider a sparkbond has to be between two, and only two mechs, or if you are going with the theory that a sparkbond can be between many.

Speed Racer I don't much care for, but he's funny and a good conterpoint to his 'cousons' I'm looking forward to seeing him mentoring. I like Mirage clone getting named Shado, it's a nice link back with your Raptor verse.

I looking forward to Jag's development, and wondering what direction you'll take Jester, and starting to think Jester and TC are going to be addicted to each other... no not the right thought. Too relenent on each other? Too dependent? Clingy? I want to see how Sharon deals with that, if it happens.

Tron annoys me. I feel like tossing him in a nuclear reactor. I know he's been conditioned that way, but I hope someone writes a 'good' Megatron clone, just because it would be an interesting challege.

I think I like it most when the clones make different choices, become different people, from the mechs they are cloned from.

Kaon has been good so far, lots of plot going on there, I'm looking forward to the next part.

Not sure what to think of Guardian, Maria seems alright, and Skye is cute. I think I'm waiting for something to happen, it seems a bit awkward at the moment, which I'm expecting from Maria considering her age. The story so far has been cute and awkward, like first dates, so I'm looking forward to Skye causing more awkwardness between them.

I like Harmony. At first I wasn't sure, but the second part blew me away. I am amazed at the amount of thought that's gone into this relationship, and how one sided part 1 was, and that was just great, I felt like Wave, first thinking the husband was a good for nothing slob, then finding out in part 2 that he clearly cares for his wife, and is trying, but not getting anywhere. I'm wondering if Wave will help or hurt the relationship? I'm guessing a bit of both.

Will review the others later, but I think this is getting longer than my chap, so I better stop now.
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From Rockinmuffin on December 23, 2008
Review for Plum Pickings:

Heh, this was pretty funny. So far, I think your Bonnie is the only one who wasn't instantly satisfied with her clone. Something tells me she's a woman of fine and expensive tastes. I'm definitely getting a mob boss sort of vibe from this woman.

Be he human or robot, a man never fails to try and skip around the foreplay. Always so impatient. xD

I feel bad for Plum; he's going to find that it's going to take a lot to please his new "boss," I'm sure.
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From Rockinmuffin on December 23, 2008
I was unaware that TurtleDreamer was not typing on a computer, so, yes, kudos to her courage. I personally wouldn't have the balls to do something like that. Also, I wasn't saying that she had to have incredibly long chapters; I'm just saying that nothing much really happened in her first chapter. Honestly, I might not have even pointed this out but I recalled that one of your rules had been that the story must start with the person's purchase of the clone and while her character did win the clone in her chapter that was the only event that actually occurred. I hope I didn't sound mean when I was pointing this out; I really just want to help and I'm sorry if I came off as being "high and mighty" or something along those lines. My Creative Writing course recently taught me the importance of critique so when I see something that can be improved upon I tend to point it out and try to give advice on how to fix it if I can.

Honestly, I think TurtleDreamer's chapter (Winner's Luck) was well-written and parts of her dialogue made me laugh. I'm simply stating that very little occurred in the first chapter, that's all. Again, I apologize if I came off as sounding harsh because that was not my intention.
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From Rockinmuffin on December 23, 2008
Review for Mentors Part 2:

First of all, I�d like to state that the mental image of TC and Jester building a snowman together is absolutely precious.

Aww, poor Jag! Stuck on the roof and abandoned all day long. D: And Scream was too busy studying like the nerd he is to notice he was missing any earlier. *insert sad face here*

You know, it�s kind of funny how TC seems to be learning more from Jester than vice versa. It�s almost as if Jester is the mentor and TC the mentee. Then again, TC has always been a bit of a follower because he worries about what the people who are close to him think of him; since he plans on getting close to Jester he even worries about what the newly-activated clone will think of him. This characteristic of TC�s is so incredibly human.

I love the dynamic between Jag and Scream. Scream is incredibly intelligent when he sits down and takes the time to think but he�s also very impulsive and thus rarely ever thinks through his course of actions. Luckily, Jag is all about tactics and thinking things through so he�s able to bring out Scream�s true potential. And Scream is nowhere near as serious so every once in a while he can try to get Jag to loosen up and relax. The two compliment each other rather nicely.

Also, the Sharon/Scream/Jag threesome was hot. �Nuff said.

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