When can we see the next chapter?

How's old is Lana & her boyfriend I'm hoping he really loves her 

I'm praying that Lynn gets her period since only Lucy should h e Lincoln's baby and he better make it up to Lucy for cheating 

I'm not sure if Lucy would be okay with this I wonder if we will find out 

I really hope they will end up being together and have kids 

This talk can't be good 

I pray that nothing bad happens 

I really hope Lincoln ends up with Lucy and they start a family together 

I was hoping Lucy and Lincoln would get it on but sadly that part was skipped and Lincoln you better not cheat on Lucy again 

It's great Lynn didn't find out about Lincoln & Lucy

Its great they were able to talk about what happened now Lincoln needs to make it up to Lucy

Lincoln better hope Lucy will forgive him for what he did with Lynn. I think Lucy knows what they did together.

I just want to start out by saying of love this story so far. I really like the attention to detail, the great character and world building and the realistic interactions between characters. You have clearly put a lot of time and effort into the story and it shows.

That being said I would kinda like to throw my two cents in on the last chapter.

This is just my opinion and many may disagree with me but I feel like that last chapter is a little unbelievable. It feels forced, as if the characters were acting contrary to how you had written them up to that point.

For instance, you spent a lot of time building around the devotion lincoln has toward lucy to the point when he ignored lucy's nudes to talk to ronnie ann and she ignored him for a day. The guilt an shame he felt about it brought him to a sobbing mess. That paired with how even before they were a couple he always put lucy first among his other sisters.

I feel like him sleepying with lynn is just really unbelievable and uncharacteristic.

I mean the whole story started by lincoln walking in on his crappy ex cheating on him and it emotionally destroying him. After everything lucy did to help build him back up after that and how close and reliant they became to each other. It just feels inconceivable that he would just turn around an put her through the same pain.

Not to mention lynn just coming home made lucy very insecure to the point she felt like her presence alone was enough to steal lincoln away. Then all it took for lincoln to cheat on her was lynn to rub her ass on him literally justifying all her insecurities.

To me it feels like lincoln was not the same character in this chapter. Either way this cahpter made me lose a lot of respect for lincoln.

This is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt.

I still want to thank your for the amazing story I cant wait to see where you take it from here.

Chapter 18 Review

No author's note, things are serious this time, lol.

I was worried about who Lincoln would cheat with and here they didn't even make it out of the bed yet!

Damn, Lucy should have texted Lincoln to have fun with Lynn and that she knows how important their bond is. Throw in a deeper meaning "I Love You" and take control! But she is obviously feeling like she is betraying everyone, and she still doesn't see her manipulation of Lincoln as a betrayal. Lincoln might not either, but I'm sure Lynn will be pissed.

Thinking about the pacing and story direction, I will say that up until the culmination of Lucy's plan at the convention felt like one story, and now we are in the sequel (or overtime). I'm glad you brought in other characters early so the world building and thread weaving felt less out of nowhere.

Jeeze, everone in this family has super obessive tendencies, though it is interesting to have Lynn be so deep in her Lincoln obsession! Brother complex for sure. (Reminds me of a fic where the parents admit they are siblings and that obviously incestuous feelings run in the family.)

I was concerned about how Lincoln could cheat on the loving, devoted goth girl, and yet here we are with a well written descent, started with some classic Loud Family sleep-molestation. I almost half expected him to mistakenly call her Lucy in his partially-aware state and out himself.

Reading the chapters after the convention where quickies and such were just alluded to or glossed over made me forget how descriptive you were with the first time between Lucy and Lincoln. That was absolutely lovely. And here the level of detail and language used in this romantic interlude were top notch. Very scintillating and hot to read. Even the kissing was smoldering. Plus the spanking . . . Goddamn!

Looks like Lincoln finally got Lynn to submit and fully conquered her after all. It was animalistic and needy, but I liked the emotions and passion you conveyed too. (Hand-holding? You degenerate!)

Can't help worrying about her not being on the pill. You had Lucy say all the girls were put on it early, but maybe Lynn stopped after gym bro? No reason to take it if she doesn't plan to be amorous, aside from other effects it might provide for periods I guess. (Also, I'm glad your framed this with some context back to that horrible first experience that both scared and scarred her.)

Blame the sleepies or the reconnecting, but Lincoln definitely consented to the act and willfully cheated. Lynn may be disgusted in the morning, but I wonder if he'll even consider how much of a betrayal this is to Lucy, or if her prior machinations will have him considering the sisterly love permissible. Sometimes your sisters just need a good, hot dicking.

Lynn's guilt complex has been well written, but the first chapters with her didn't really have much hint of it I think. I'm very curious if she'll wake up and flip out, or if another sibling will find them in their compromising position and have her playing defense.

I could see a sequel where her athletic career is ruined by a pregnancy, which would likewise devastate the family. But hey, competitive Lynn would be the first to give Lori a niece or nephew!

Again, nice descriptions of brown eyes and freckled cheeks, even if I got ahead of myself and couldn't tell which set Lincoln was gazing at some times. ;)

I'm excited for the future chapters, and to give the side story a read. I wanted to do so before this chapter so I wouldn't have the future looming, but this story is compelling and I couldn't withstand the lure to read on plot-wise. I read this before finally passing out last night (at like 7am, oops), so that Halloween fluff story will be a nice palette cleanser now.

It will stink having to wait a week and a half, but I'll do so with bated breath!

Pixel-King

Chapter 17 Review

Ha, another author's note that feels totally in-line with my last review thoughts.

You go girl! You make the best damned Lucycoln ever! It's like the story My Angel, My Demon by Trillhouse but with consequences after the happily ever after. Don't stop now!

Thinking about the sisters, Lucy is my number 1, then Leni. Lucy is delicate and dark, and Leni is just so sweet and innocent and ya' gotta love blondes. (It was a treat to have a blonde Lucy for so long here.) I like Lola but she can definitely be too manipulative, and Lynn annoys me, but I begrudgingly like her. Lily is a personal favorite, since she is a blank slate where fans have characterized her in fun ways, but sadly Lisa and Luna are forgettable mostly. Lana is good in a twin pairing naturally, but is fun as an uber tomboy too. Lori has an extra taboo due to being the oldest who should definitely know better plus she is with Bobby, and then Luan has Bennie, but she'd probably be fun if you appreciate the dumb jokes and the fact she'd definitely squirt you if you tried to smell her flower. Get it? (Or she'll kill you with a baseball bat . . .)

So, overall, definitely glad to see a Lucycoln fic get so much effort! I almost wish it had been just five happy chapters, but this is definitely becoming more memorable by being so long! If ultimately gut-wrenching.

Keep the detail coming! I love detailed fics. I once read a Harry Potter story that had 100+ chapters and barely got anywhere, but the world building was enthralling (Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart). Your pace and level of detail are just right. Heck I'll beta if you want! (I am noticing a few spelling or word choice errors, but this is truly well written, I mostly want the early access, lol).

With all the moments between Lynn Jr. and Lincoln I can't help thinking Lucy inadvertently fully corrupted him and now the sister taboo is dead, or maybe she just let that cat out of the bag.

Your descriptions of body types, little quirks and small details are very enjoyable. I also like the focus on the girls' eyes. I am now remembering how poignant your descriptions of Lucy's eyes especially have been, and the way she used them to ensorcell Lincoln. Very romantic and sensuous.

I need to reread this whole story again, it has been a few weeks.

Big Tiddy Goth Girl and Tomgirl Supremacy. Hard call! I like how you point out that all of Lincoln's sisters traits shaped his desires, and unfortunately had the side-effect of giving him a servile, guilt-ridden personality. I liked the whole guilt and abandonment aspect with ignoring Lynn and the overall distant relationships you've described. Very good detail on them each individually, plus I enjoyed the look into Lynn's sensitive side - and her gross-out side.

It is interesting how the sisters all know what Lucy is doing, if only in broad strokes. Lincoln was always a pushover for his sisters, but now, after all the emotional manipulation and grooming basically, Lincoln is codependent to Lucy it seems. But that familial bond is latching onto Lynn too.

So far we have seen definite emotional cheating with Ronnie Anne, and now the whole not-texting-Lucy-while-with-Lynn issue (does he pork Lynn?). Not good so far, he is definitely slipping and I'm even more convinced he will cheat (independent of the spoiler I saw). I feel bad for Lucy, even if she is a little monster.

Nice Dad moment with Lynn Sr. very well written (will they fuck too? JK). I wonder if beer will be the source of and solution to all the problems next chapter? Eiher way, there will be a lot of family disappointment when it all comes out. Are we gonna get a sequel timeskip after the shit hits the fan?

I've never considered the room setup before Lily was born, but by all accounts it makes sense that Lincoln and Lynn Jr. were roomies the longest, maybe even longer than any other siblings (save the twins) depending on how the bunking order shifted over time. So it makes sense he would be closest to Lynn, which is why I begrudgingly like the pairing.

I enjoyed how you addressed the topics of abandonment and which sister is most important. Lucy's point of view for so much of the story made it easy to empathize with her, even if it was easy to see she was being manipulative. So getting other perspectives is nice. I hope you keep world-building and adding details. The One-Eyed Jack and Diamond Jack bit was super cool.

You are using tropes well, but I also want to see what unique things you devise for the sisters. It is a tad naive to think they all have the same interests as they did during the cartoon series, so it is a fun thought-experiment to devise where they end-up in life as passions, and lovers, come and go. Putting Lincoln in various relationships after Ronnie Anne was a nice breath of fresh air in the genre, and served the plot setup well. Melanie was a bitch, but a neccessary bitch.

I really loved how this chapter closed. A sweet sibling moment tainted by what we the audience know about what they both know.

Pixel-King

(I'm taking longer writing than I did reading, yeesh, it's now 6am on a Monday. This is why I don't usually write reviews, they turn into gushing lectures.)

((If the next chapter jumps to Thanksgiving I think I'll know who gets boinked in the taco, but if we go to Canada I have a different sporty suspicion. However, now you have me rooting for Lynn a little, so maybe less of a horrible slip-up? Yeah . . . it's still gonna be bad. Why must you torment our poor little tortured-soul goth so much?))

Ugh, I accidentally read a review when I checked if mine had posted. Lincoln cheated. I knew (suspected) that he would, but I don't know with who yet. I'm sick over it! Have to read it all and catch up now.

For all my talk of harems and the tone of most of the fandom (like the wonderfully wrong idea that Rita "trained" Lincoln to handle a house full of women), since so far this is a monogomous, if full of different partners at different times, story, seeing that he cheated hurt my soul, and I'm dreading the specifics of it all.

I just started chapter 16, and it is funny to see that Leni wanted to share. Definitely the trope for her. But it is also nice to have more details on the pact.

Oof, the betrayal of trust angle and issues with Lynn's mental state. She swings from excited to hating herself, and the story of her gym-bro lover was sad to have in more detail. Also interesting to see your references to the sisters' size differences. I forget Lucy is the tallest and maybe the most buxom?

Speaking of, in my last review I had forgotten about Lucy's penchant for perverse sex acts and the intimate details you'd provided, plus all the nasty "little sister" talk. I need to reread that convention chapter. Moar please!

Your line about Lynn in a dog collar . . . oh my. Sounds almost like a Shadman comic. Maybe Lucy can convince her that Lincoln-loving is a team sport? Lincoln is already considering it since Lucy planted the seeds by spilling the beans. And now Lucy has some seeds of doubt about what she's done planted in her. Besides all of Lincoln's seed that is. Hey-o!

Oh God, Sam too? I can see where you are leading that conversation. Goodness knows there are stories about how Linc is the only boy Luna would ever screw. With Sam's cajoling. Just who does he bump uglies with? Or perhaps whose doesn't he?

You worry about the story dragging, but I really like the nice, cute sister vignettes. It makes the story feel more fleshed out and real, and doesn't detract at all. But seriously, you just had to make Luan do the "I incest" joke, eh? I feel like all fandom writers reduce the characters to their stereotypical archetypes, but to be fair, with a cast this big and a lot of the tropes so set in stone, it would be weird not to. When in Alabama, right? Roll-tide!

I also appreciate the Maggie les-be-friends fanservice. Maybe that deserves a stand-alone side-story?

I'll agree that Lola is dangerous. And darn it I got the twins names swapped in my last review. Lana has been a bit of a non-entity, Lola is the manipulator. Oh well. She probably would blackmail the others. And I still think if Lily found out she'd be game to share with Leni.

It is amusing to see your author's note and how much aligned with my own ideas. Sequel, eh? Despite coming to this fandom late you've embraced the best tropes and still found a way to make it fresh. Even the Bobby and Casagrande details have all been great. Keep making it your own to suit the story you want to tell!

Just remembered your Helga Shortman cameo. God I loved that! Unibrow! That really cinched my love for your story and you as a writer. It fit the plot so well, even if it did make Ronnie Anne seem like the obvious victor in all this. Thanksgiving is looking dangerous.

I'm excited to see you pursue more nitty-gritty details and the consequences of this story's events. Trillhouse and DoctorYnot have some great long-form, depressing stories, and I could tell from the first chapter this would be in that class. (You posting ten chapters at once helped prove it!)

I saw a pic of Leni or proto-Leni on R34 years ago, back when there were so few it wasn't even that lewd (probably gone now since the art that IS lewd has proliferated and their rule exemption isn't needed), and as a longztime lover of Loud House smut, I am so thrilled with this story so far!

On to 17 and heartbreak!