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Reviews for Revelations of Destiny

By : Kellendros

From ANON - Josh84 on October 07, 2007
Whoa, talk about drama. This is intense! And this is just the chapter leading up to the confrontation with Monkey Fist. I know that the actual fight is not going to be pretty, but I'm looking forward to it anyway.

Great job! Keep it up!
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From PureEvilOne on October 07, 2007
Choices make the hero. And Heroes make the hard choices. Excellent chapter.
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From ANON - Cyraxr on October 05, 2007
Kim had a milder reaction to true violence then I thought she would have, but all an all well written. Please update soon. Signed a fan of Shego.
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From ANON - Lee on October 02, 2007
I've been waiting to read this for monthes now, I'm glad I checked back to see if you have started posting.

Worth the wait.
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From ANON - Josh84 on October 01, 2007
Wow, yet another intense chapter. I was on the edge of my seat most of the time.

This was a good way to start the week. Great job.
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From PureEvilOne on October 01, 2007
Deeper into Corscan life we go the more complex it becomes. Can't wait to see Leadership Training 101 as taught by Corscan.
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From ANON - J.C. Lately on September 28, 2007
Corscan may just be the most three-dimensional OC I've ever read in fanfiction, but I trust her about as far as I could throw her (which, given our relative sizes, wouldn�t be that far at all). Even the way she seems to go out of her way to take Kim's feelings into account, giving her a chance to back out of every thing she winds up doing, just makes my suspicions grow. Hell, even The Devil often gives people a chance to back out, which no one ever takes.

It pretty clear Corscan is using Kim's never-say-no-to-a-challenge mentality to manipulate her. You handle said manipulation very well, I nod my head in acknowledgement of your skill, but this is one reader you aren�t fooling.

By the by, the sex scenes? /Hawt/. Maybe the best I�ve read on this site, definitely the best I�ve read in a KP story.
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From beeftony on September 26, 2007
I�ve been holding off on reviewing this story until I had a good sense of where you were going with it, but after eighteen chapters and well over one-hundred thousand words, I still have no idea WTF is going on. You have an amazing gift for suspense and pacing, which is only one of the things that makes you an amazing author.

The main thing I love about your writing style is your attention to detail. As you�ve said yourself, you really know how to immerse the reader into this other world and make us forget that there�s more to the story outside of that one fight, that one race, or even that one load of laundry. You�ve taken a world that was fantasy at best for me and turned it into something real. The imagery, description, and spot-on dialogue really helps to push the immersive power of the story to the level where I have to remind myself that it�s not real.

Your character development is another one of your strengths. I'll admit I was going �WTF?� when I read your description of Kim in the first chapter, but you�ve done such a great job pushing her character to that point that I�ve come to accept it. You didn�t just have her jump headfirst into a lesbian relationship; her stubbornness, denial, and inability to resist a challenge are all present and very well portrayed.

Corscan Mataii has got to be my favorite OC of all time. What I find funny is that she possesses all the characteristics associated with a Mary Sue (she possesses powers greater than those of the canon characters, she�s extremely likeable, and she even gets paired up with the main character), but she just has way too much personality to fall into that category. She�s a very well-developed character that I, like Kim, just can�t help falling in love with her. I never found muscular women sexy before this, but you�ve just portrayed her so well that just picturing her makes me shiver for some reason.

I do have to wonder just what exactly Corscan�s true role in all this is. The summary, combined with Chapter 17, makes me wonder if she intentionally led Kim to discover her true sexuality just so she could play matchmaker with her and Shego later on. Her admission of being polyamorous certainly seems to hint at this, almost like she�s giving Kim an out. Of course I could be totally wrong, but at the very least Corscan seems to have more of a hand in Kim�s life than she lets on.

Anyway, I�m itching to see what this �bad thing� is that Kim is convinced that even SHE can�t handle. If I know you and your writing style, this will undoubtedly raise more questions than answers.

Looking forward to more!

beeftony
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From ANON - Josh84 on September 26, 2007
Aw, man! We finally get back into reality only to go through another flashback! Oh well, that's okay. Better to get all the info than being left in the dark, and I'm am curious as to what happened with Monkey Fist. From what we've heard so far, it can't be pretty.

Monique may be onto something. Though it does seem that Corscan's on the up-and-up, she's still an enigma, and we're still learning things that would say the contrary.

Need I say it? Another terrific chapter!
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From ANON - Cyraxr on September 26, 2007
Oh my, what in the name of the divine happen on that mission that would make it appear that Kim is cracking under the weight of it all? So please update soon. Signed a fan of Shego.
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From PureEvilOne on September 26, 2007
Nice to see someone elses veiw of the story. And an explanation of Kim's actions in first few chapters was an unexpected bonus.
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From ANON - me on September 24, 2007
Congrats on another wicked chapter, saw that, what did you call it, foreshadowing?, thing with shego,I liekd the whole thing alot, very tastefully done.
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From ANON - Cyraxr on September 24, 2007
Wow she is brutal when it come to work. And her views on sex and relationships is truly food for thought. Signed a fan of Shego. "note to self chapter 17"
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From SupaNerd on September 23, 2007
Review for Chapter 15.
The nerd would like to express our most sincere appologies at the lateness of this review, real life stuff came up that kept us away from our computer, Sorry. Now on to the comments and questions! Yay!
I found this chapter very well written and descriptive. The dress dilema, whats a girl to wear, that she didn't pick the LBD is a shame (I checked, it is NOT, unfortunatly a crime against humanity) but she is still in that teenager am I gay or what stage, so it's all good. I liked the part when Kim came down to the lobby and still displayed a little fear at being outted, nice touch. The dinner, hmmmm. Yes Corscan is a 'big girl' but is it just me or do she and Kim still eat an extreamly large amount of food for people their sizes? Do they need it to power their special abilities (what are they I'm dyin' to know here!), or do they just have a fast metabolism? Champagne, and Kim doesn't like it, ok, at least Corscan isn't trying to get Kim drunk, thats, well it would've been cool to read, the tanked red head needing someone to hold her hair back. Heh. Oysters, raw, aphorodisiac, ok I thing I get that, but I thought that was only for men, or is that the tiger balls? And, no mention of the 'water' so did they or did they not drink it? Kims interested in... doin' somethin' is she? Of course she is! Some small part of Kim wants the night to, 'move on' yep, sounds about right. Kims likes Magnum PI, and the car. OH MY GOD, how much does it ROCK! I gotta get me one of those, yeah baby. A 'lot' of driving experience, just how old is Corscan, is she an immortal super human or something, or a magical being of some sort, any clue as to when we find out? Grind her right there on the dance floor dammit, do it, NOW! Nice, I liked that part. Fuck like rabits, soon is good. And the gentle touchs that Corscan give Kim, all incredibly well written. Corscans description of what Kim 'felt' and 'wanted' at the dance club was perfect and her expressing that passion, very well done, I like. Ten times better, Kim doubts Corscan. That is crazy talk, she should know by now that Corscan knows, she Knows. The de-clothing scene was written so well I had to read it again and again, just to, ya know, get a fell for it. It rocked and Kim was right, Corscan is beatiful. Still interested in the story behind the tiger stripe pattern on Corscan, when do we find out about that, or can you tell me what it's about? Sonic fence and self activating SHOC cannons, WTF? Kim hopes Corscan is enjoying the view, hell who the f!&k wouldn't? Ron, maybe. Kim doesn't need that much sleep, yeah I have noticed that she goes to bed at one and wakes up at six, whats that about, and if you won't say, when do we find out? The bathroom question again, you know which one I'm talking about. Kim thinks Shego's quirky, interesting. The shadowed depths looked somehow inviting to her, yeah Kim you're definitly gay. Kims got no hair down there, heh that rhymes, now she said that other than some peach fuzz she doesn't have anything (hair) anywhere, I take this to mean that other than the hair on her head that she is completly hairless EVERYWHERE else, like her legs and her pits, would that be correct? If so, whats the deal with that, or if you can't tell, then can you say when we'll find out? Also, Corscans comment about people killing for what Kims got (the hairless pussy) that, to me, seemed like it wasn't really the joke she was making it out to be, any clue Lord K? Kim and Corscan both have large clits, hmm another thing they have in common. The fun in the water was described very well (wish I could write like you Lord K) and the action, most amusing and steamy. Corscans carefull guiding of events (the not kissing Kim when Kim expected her too) leads up to her revelation that she used to be, for lack of a better term, a preadator, and that its Kims choice if she stays and they enjoy the night and hopefully morning together, is excellent. Just one question, is Corscan giving Kim a choice by using this manipulation or is she in fact taking it away by telling her its her choice, ya know. She did tell Kim that she was a manipulative bitch, and an excellent one at that. So which on is it, and if I don't find out now when do we find out? A long long time ago in her misspet youth, just how old is Corscan, hmmm? Yes Corscan truly does march to the beat of a radically different drummer, but yes they just might fuck eachother untill they pass out, and good god I'd buy whatever they're selling! Entertain herself, wow, does Kim get to see that too? Thats a show I'd bet my left arm she wouldn't want to miss! And crazy must be catching, I love that part, so cool. Kim staying for the night. Big Shocker there, then again, it is all about the journey.
An excellent chapter Lord Kellendros, I hope to get to the next one very soon and review it for you too, and however many more there are that I can R and R. Please keep up the fantastic work, as always, you rock hard! Live Long and Rock On!
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From ANON - Anon on September 23, 2007
Great chapter...though I thought Kim would handle Corscan's life style with a bit more emotion...but maybe that will come a but later. Thanks for writing.
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