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Reviews for Revelations of Destiny

By : Kellendros

From ANON - Summer on October 16, 2007
What a cliffhanger!!! I am sooo glad to see Shego enter into the story! Now I am dying to read the next chapter. Is Shego Corsan's second love? Either way, I think that Corscan will not be happy about Kim falling for another woman. She will not be happy sharing Kim, and I am curious now more than ever to find out exactly what Shego thinks and feels about Kim. She is like uncharted territory at this point as to where she feels she fits into or wants to fit into Kim's life. I am achingly curious.

I appreciate again how this story is coming out in a conversation between Kim and Monique. It seems like it has now caught up to the present in the story with the exception of what happened the night before.

I loved the little morsel of a dreamt Kigo moment... it pleases me. On a side note, I like Corscan's perspective of 'love'. That it is love at first sight or takes true time to love someone as a person good and bad included. Her character still continues as before with communication upfront and blunt. Hard to fault her on it.

:::: Waiting for more patiently :::::
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From ANON - Tecate on October 16, 2007
For me this was the most telling chapter to date. Not only did it make me think differently about Kim, it also made me change my view of Corscan (a little) and change my opinion of where Shego fits in (a lot). I have really liked the interaction between Kim and Monique and I hope that Mo remains Kim�s �ear� throughout the story because I have a feeling she is going to need it.
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From ANON - List Of Romantics on October 16, 2007
That Corscan STILL gives me the Hebbie-Jeebies... Every revelation and morsel of plot that furthers the mystery or sheds light upon the darkness that surrounds it, I devour like so much ambrosia or chum; I sometimes forget my manners with a Tiger Shark-like voracity... my black eyes roll back in my head as pearly white razor-wire teeth approach their mark, it isn't pretty. But, I know, nay, I FEEL in the darkest portions of my heart (right next to the Atrial Ventricular Node) Corscan's complicity. Mo' was right: normal folk don't wager over a girls virginity (especially when they now the other doesn't have a chance of winning; using her 'word' against her is really low). I can't wait till Corscan gets her comeuppance. At what point do the "protectors" in Grey hats become black like the "villains" the punish and persecute, and who

Another feather for your cap: I don't usually feel for Ron's plight at losing KP, but after he nearly got killed over a Corscan influenced KP, I felt for the goofy bastard.

But what is this??? KIGO!?!?! Kim's steamy dream, what causes it? What drives its nightly repetition? AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN KIM ALMOST KILLED SHEGO (or tried to)!?!? I'm giddy with thoughts of Shego... Speaking of which, Shego is usually portrayed as being against killing or murder (save for self-defense or accident), openly avoiding it (as she's a thief and not a killer). I wonder how "your" Shego will be portrayed. Is she a killer, or does she draw the line at thievery with a dash or villany?

I want to know so much more, the wait is maddening, but worth it.

Most Satisfactory! Keep'm Coming!
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From ANON - Josh84 on October 15, 2007
Ah-ha! You're finally getting around to Shego! I sense another flashback chapter quickly approaching! This is what I've been waiting for! And I guess I'll have to continue to wait for it... darn cliffhangers! I know they're your thing, but still.

That being said, this was another great chapter - as always. :D Perfect way to start yet another week. Looking forward to the next chapter and the approaching Kim and Shego confrontation... no matter how bloody [gulp] it's gonna be.
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From PureEvilOne on October 15, 2007
Corscans view on Love is strangely beautiful. Monique asking the hard questions being the best girlfrend she can. Shego finally appears. I sit patiently for the next awesome update.
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From ANON - Summer on October 15, 2007
Review Ch 1-21:

Okay... first I'd like to say sorry for not reviewing regularly throughout reading this story. I was carefully seeing where this was all leading to in order to form an opinion. All the way up to Chapter 11, it felt as if it was all setting up the story. So here is what I think:

I liked getting into the story after it has already been in progress. Gets things started right away and allows you to stay eager reading wondering why Kim has changed in appearance and personality. Once Kim is spilling the story to Moni, nice juicy story details begin. I appreciate OC's when done well and I can tell you that I find Corscan very different and intriging. Even more once Kim (and us) discovers more about her. I know a lot of readers feel that Corscan is super manipulative and I think that she is, but not to the degree that some of the hype was about. I have so many thoughts about all that I have read, I hope I can keep them formulated and easier to understand by focusing on what I think by character or event rather than chronology of your story.

CORSCAN. I chose her first since I have the most to say about her. Again, great character and wonderful depth in who she is now that her person is coming to light. So back to the manipulative part. The reason I felt she was manipulating Kim was purely for the fact that she was never upfront about who she was or her reward should she win the bet from the get go. She constantly tries to play the 'I never lied to you and always gave you free will to make your own decisions based on the info'. That is bullhonkey! If Corscan truly wanted to be upfront with Kim, she would have told her about wanting to sleep with her before the battle and THEN... also mentioned her polyamourous and fuck 'em when you want them lifestyle. To me, Corscan KNEW that if she told Kim this info prior to the bet or even having sex, Kim would have backed out. Instead Corscan waits until AFTER she has already seduced her to tell her some of these important details KNOWING Kim would most likely have deeper feelings that a fuck friend for her. SOOoooo, I think she was deceptive in keeping the truth so she could do what she wanted. True, Kim DID want to sleep with Corscan and did abso-fucking-lutly love it, however would have felt more respected having the info prior to the sex. Think if it this way. You sleep with someone you and find out that after, you are the 626th person they've slept with. This would have been great to know BEFORE even if they are healthy and disease free. If people are doing One-nighters, I can understand this conversation happening, but Corscan KNEW Kim better and Kim was much more vulnerable to a skilled 'tygress' such as her. I don't trust her 100% still, but she isn't looking as bad as was portrayed to me by others. I do like how you came up with her and gave her the qualities that makes her unique (tiger stipes, muscles on muscles, huge clit LOL, height, unmatched fighting skills and a little southern accent for good measure).

KIM. I think you played her well and used her competitive qualities and personal values to play into your story. While it may be a bit OOC, I don't care about it because you are still making her react like a real person who is capable of changing as a result to occurances or influences in their life. We all know Kim is not perfect, she already exibited anger and even rage in the past and we know that is a great character flaw to capitalize on. I LOVE how you played in 'WHY' she was changing her appearance so she can do some socialogy homework so to speak as part of her training. I thought that was very clever and imagine it would actually be fun to do something like that for real! I think I got great mental debates that went on in her head which allows you to show the changing process in Kim. I also like how you introduced her gayness to her. It was not there, and then muah! it is! Do I think one kiss can change a person? Yes, and know it to be true. Oh, and like the little things you add in, such as her trying to be a good daughter helping her mom when she can and... :::: wait gotta peee :::: :::: 2 minutes pass ::::: :::: returning to laptop ::: Okay, so Kim does pee, but it was so not the drama my GF pointed out. Yeah, eating in the bathroom, hmm, not for this girl after seeing Mythbusters show fecal bacteria present on nearly everything there, but I'll exempt you from this since the food was already in the mouth when in the restroom. I loved her innocence still, like being naked outside, and other quirks that still define her young age.

SEX SCENE. OMFG, that was like the best piece of erotica I think I have read. Let me begin with what I like before I say what I didn't. LOVED the incredible detail. Now I'm gonna think everyone else comes too quickly when I go and read other stories!!!! Damn YOU!!!! I cannot believe how realistic you made some things and you must either be really in tune with the girls you sleep with or you have some good informants. You write about the sensations as if you are a woman and even have the wiping cloth!!! How the FUCK do you know these things???? I REALLY appreciate that you made both of them come several times because girls can SOOo do that. You even get the recovery processes right plus the build ups! I think you have one of the best 1st times written as well. [The Way] should really refer to what anyone can do the first time they have sex with anyone. What truly made this sex scene is how you made Kim so aroused that she had to ask for it; that foreplay was constantly present to continuously build her up (and us); that you made us feel every touch, breath, pulse, quiver, tense, release, .... the heat of passion. Also, the ambiance of Hawaii and outside was a nice touch too! Cute how Kim kept thinking it was time LOL!
So what took away from this fabulous moment comes down to a personal preference I believe. I felt 50% present during the scene and 50% detached due to the fact that I do not care for Corscan. There is no develepment of her character that would make me care to see her in a sex scene. Since her physique and height do not turn me on, then I was not turned on and truly aroused while reading the wonderful sex scene. It was like I had a mental block trying to forget it was Corscan. There was a moment in the story in which Shego was mentioned and BAM! it came clear to me why. What I felt when I heard or seen Shego's name in the story was "awww, Shego... I miss Shego, like truly miss her! Where is she? Shego is truly right for Kim." So upon that discovery, I realize that while reading the sex scene, it may as well have been Monkey Fist or Drakken with Kim, because while Corscan was great in the scene, I find her interchangeable with anyone and the arousal factor would have been the same as I read it. PLEASE, do not get sad reading this. I know how much you love Corscan the way she is and find her quite lustful, which is why I want to clarify that it has NOT A DAMN THING to do with your beautiful sex scene or ability to write one. As you know, different things turn us all on.

MOVING ON. So here is where I feel I can speculate since your story is yet to be completely published. I HOPE that Shego will be one of Kim's polyamourous lovers and upon engaging in battle and then engaging into a relationship with Shego, that she will realize Kim wants to be with her equal. Corscan was a great and still would be a great teacher, but that as Kim admitted, she would always be better than her. Her puzzle pieces looked like it would fit Kim's, but alas, is a bit too big. I will leave it up to you to reveal if there will be any evil deeds to come out of Corscan even though she doesn't seem all the villian. Who knows if Corscan is possessive and selfish of Kim and maybe doesn't want to share her with Shego. There is the possibility that what is good for Corscan she may not think is good for Kim and will try to explain that Shego is bad, is going to distract her from her training, yadda yadda... I don't know for sure. Either way, I am very curious to see the role that Shego will play. I am clawing at your virtual door wanting Kigo sex!!! I know you have downplayed it, but I truly hope you can fullfill that fantasy for me since it appears you may be one of the best one I know to do so. If not, then I challenge you to do a 42 page sex scene for Kim and Shego and call it a one-shot LOL!! I don't need the story as much as I need the sex to be good!! This girl does not ask for much, but story can add to the experience.

Well, I'm sure I forgot something I wanted to say and I'll remember right after I post this, but keep up the awesome writing! Action, fight, and sparring scenes were great btw, but as you can see, they are not priorities for me. Don't worry, I still read over every one of them! I am not a skimmer so your words are not wasted. I just have a "oh, that was nice" attitude and proceed forward seeking my Kigo goodness.
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From ANON - Cyraxr on October 13, 2007
First Kim's fight with the monkey ninjas was a little hard to follow sometimes. Second Kim's emotions must have been in true chaos if she let Ron get that close to death. Signed a fan of Shego.
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From ANON - Anon Ymous on October 12, 2007
Lord Kellendross,

First, Please pardon me, I'm a little worked up, fiery, and hormonal at the moment (My gal won't be home for another... 27 hours, and I am truly frustrated after reading your story thus far, in more ones than one). I apologize and please bear with me. I LOVE YOUR STORY ALOT AND YOU WRITE REALLY WELL!

Good story, I'm up to your most recent chapter... BUT WHERE THE HELL IS SHEGO! This Corscan woman... I'd sooner trust my clit to a rusty bear trap than her; something is sooo definitely not right with her (besides the fact that she appears to be a DNAmy hybrid cross between a Tiger and a woman... and what ever else you haven't told us yet). I know you've already finished this story (by your own admission), I just wish you were more liberal in what you post and post more often as I'm dying to see: A) How this story turns out B) Where in the Hell is Shego and how she fits into this and with Kim C) When is KP going to get the hint that Corscan ain't right and distance herself from the freaky Cat-Chick with a raging libido who wants to fuck every cute chick she sees and usually does, probably D) How this all ties into the KP universe as it feels too disjointeed, disconnected in ways I can't name (it ain't the gay thing, you'd have to be blind to see that KP is totally a lesbian or Bi in the show); PERHAPS BECAUSE YOU'VE DANGLED THE "KIGO CARROT" IN FRONT OF US, BUT HAVE YET TO DELIVER ANY MEANINGFUL INTERACTION BETWEEN SHEGO AND KIM IN THE LAST 21 CHAPTERS, AND LORD KNOWS HOW MUCH IS LEFT... IT DOESN'T LEAVE A WHOLE LOT OF TIME TO GET THAT ACTION ROLLING MUCH LESS THE MASS OF QUESTIONS YOU'VE LEFT UNRESOLVED, DANGLING LIKE THREADS TO THE WIND [HULK SMASH!!!] WITH CORSCAN AND HER SUPER-SECRET LIFE CONTROLING THE WORLD! I swear to god, I think you're fucking with all of us and THERE ISN'T ANY KIGO in this story at all; it was all just a ploy to draw the suckers in (myself included) becuase it isn't easily apparent (not that I want it to be, I love the mystery of it all) and you've haven't mention Shego in the last 21 chapters with the exception of jabbering about her comparison to Corscan, Drakken breaking out of jail and her being in Greece. Sorry, I'm venting and more than a little frustrated -YOU GOT MY MOUTH ALL SET FOR KIGO!

I am so waiting for the other much LARGER shoe(s) in this story to drop now that KP's sexuality has been flushed out, especially once Kim gets over her issues with sexuality and identity... she's SO OOC to the point of maddening confusion, but that's what those times of discovery and adolescense are like. There is so much more to this story that just sex. in fact, I wish to know more about the progression of the story more, hence my eagerness.

From the tone of the story, it appears that Corscan has other motives beyond wanting to fuck KP, that she has yet to reveal (or you have yet to reveal) and all of which gives me a very unsettling feeling. HONESTLY, I AM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW AT NOT BEING ABLE TO READ ON! I WISH YOU WEREN'T SO WITHHOLDING ABOUT REVIEWS AND POSTING! It's plain to see you have great talent; just spread it on and share the love.

Again, I love the story, but if Shego and "The Kigo" ain't what this story is about (as it certainly doesnt' look that way, it appears so far to be KP's journey of sexual awakening with a mysterious Cat-Woman with unknown motives and dubious intentions) DON'T PUT KIGO IN THE TITLE! It gets peoples expectations up when you mention a character but haven't bothered to introduce her until ACT 3 before the curtain falls, that's some bad form.

My rage is taking over -Bruce Banner ain't got nothin' on me- so I'll stop now before I truly lose myself to the bloodlust.

My one wish -besides One Billion dollars- would be for more updates, more often and less hijacking/review blackmail. You've got legions of rabid KIGO fans who are probably wondering where's the KIGO (You write some really great sex scenes, but if it ain't KP and Shego, most folks lose interest or cease to care rather quickly... which others have communicated to me, which is the only reason I heard about this story in to begin with: "Fab in all things," they said, "but Shego isn't in the story.")...

Now I really have to stop before I start punching babies in my blind rage...
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From ANON - Tecate on October 11, 2007
Kim�s initial reaction to Ron�s whiney hiney is so typical canon Kim. I can only imagine that she probably �thinks� those things on every mission but Disney doesn�t do soap opera style vocal thoughts so we are just left to decipher her glares and growls as such. I agree with BT on the whole crazy angry Kim. And for those FF writers that think little Kimmie Ann doesn�t cuss there has been an incident in canon where she was about to cuss and was cut off by a parental unit. SO again I can see her becoming a sailor and with her obvious anger issues the flow of her increasing language and violence is not only believable but expected.

How many of the Monkey ninjas did she �seriously� injure? I have a feeling someone like Kim would keep count. Also, would she have stopped beating Monkey Fist if Ron hadn�t stopped her by getting her attention? I got the feeling her reasoning that she wouldn�t have killed him because she couldn�t, didn�t seem to fit with her actions. I felt more like she was trying to convince herself than actually stating her true beliefs. Or maybe she was not even aware of how badly she was hurting him. Sort of like Coach Kim not seeing the obsessed tyrant she was becoming and those were little children playing soccer� A sport she admitted not being into? One can only imagine how easily and deeply she would lose it with her contemporaries over something she truly had a passion for. So yes as far as cartoon characters with G ratings go, Kim Possible is VERY disturbed! Way to bring that out in your story.
I also like that you made Ron early KP Ron and not the total sniveling little shit he became in season 4. Sometimes I wonder WHY Kim puts up with THAT Ron. He still bother�s me which is good because I really don�t like to um� like him!

I am dying to read Monique�s reaction to all of what Kim is telling her. It still could go either way with Corscan in Mo�s eyes but I know that girl has good instincts.
One other thing, IF Corscan is teaching Kim to �read� people won�t Kim eventually be able to see that the big kitty she playing with is a predator? And if Corscan�s a tiger and Kim is a lioness, what does that make Shego? A panther? Speaking of my favorite villain, when will Miss Go be making her debut in your story? I know everyone asks this and you slip away from a direct answer but how soon is soon? If we are good readers/reviewers will it be in this month? Before Christmas? Before next summer?

Again PLEASE add another Chapter soon! I�m hooked� reel me in! Give me Shego so I can get this hook out of my mouth already!

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From ANON - Josh84 on October 11, 2007
Whoo! I know Ron's monkey issues can get annoying, but man, Kim went off the handle. I mean, she acted like a total b****. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it seems to fit. I know that she's got a lot to deal with, but still. As for the fight between Kim and Monkey Fist... I take that back; that was no fight, that was a slaughter! And that was just Monkey Fist. When Shego finally does get involved, I dread what Kim might do to her.

Fantastic chapter! Looking forward for more!
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From PureEvilOne on October 11, 2007
Wow.m opened up a brewery of whoop-ass on MonkeyFist and his minions. The emotioinal fallout from the last chapter was what I expected it to be. The end of fight reminded me of two different things. The first was an old Batman comic where smacking the crap out some criminal who pulled a gun on him. And the second was the end of just about every Powerpuff Girl episod where they fought MojoJojo. Overall great chapter.
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From beeftony on October 11, 2007
Excellent chapter, definitely worthy of the rating. Nice to see Kim abandon her usual approach to fighting in favor of more primal, brutal techniques that are far more effective under those circumstances. I like that it was her oft restrained temper that finally got the best of her and pushed her over the edge. She really does have anger management problems, far more than the average cartoon character. I imagine that the missions serve as a form of release for her, where she is free to let loose and use violence as a solution whereas in any other setting it wouldn't be appropriate and would probably lead to her requiring professional help (which she probably needs anyway).

Ron is similarly impressive in this chapter, catching Monkey Fist off guard at the beginning of the fight and actually managing to hold his own for a while. I am curious, however, as to how much of his fighting skills in this chapter are the result of MMP and how much is his own training, because last I checked, Ron just ran from everything. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I like Ron being a little more competent than he is on the show. I also like the fact that you kept his fighting abilities within reason and didn't make him *too* good for Monkey Fist, but just slightly below equal. Of course, even the slightest difference in fighting skills can cost you the fight.

Good observation on the fact that Ron has supposedly "gotten over" his monkey issues three times already, only to have them return via a combination of his paranoid nature and the writers' insistence on "continuity by accident." It amazes me the explanations we're able to come up with to cover their gaping plot holes.

I like your portrayal of Monkey Fist. He's halfway between gentleman and savage, capable of exchanging witty banter one moment and screeching like a wild banshee the next. Greed and revenge are his primary driving forces, and his tendency to become fixated on a single object is very evident in this chapter. Of course, he also tends to be overconfident, which comes at the cost of severely underestimating his enemies, which is what has enabled Ron to defeat him in the past. That said, he never stood a chance against Kim. Mess with her best friend, and all bets are off. The beatdown in this chapter is like the tower kick times 100. I almost feel sorry for the guy.

All in all, great chapter and I can't wait for more. I assume this is the last of the flashback chapters? Hope Shego appears soon. :D
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From ANON - Cyraxr on October 10, 2007
There is the reaction I was expecting from Kim when it comes to true violence it just took the confrontation of having to make the chose of it herself for future battles to trigger it. I like how you compared the two missions but in my opinion Corscan went to kill them in Kim's mission really quick, of course it is in line with her personalty and she did say that she does kill when it isn't need but still there is way more to her past then she has told. That said please update soon. Signed a fan of Shego.
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From ANON - Tecate on October 09, 2007
Ok I NEVER and I mean NEVER post reviews. This is my first actually. I usually leave it to my GF Kigo-licious to do that but this story sucked me in so deep I had to tell you JUST what you are doing to me! I can�t eat or sleep unless I am forced fed or collapse from exhaustion. I am all bug eyed from reading this story and I am hanging here dying for more. So here is what I love and a little criticism too.
Damn! One of the BEST lesbian Sex scenes I have read for KP. Seriously, but you know that don�t you. I am not even going to go into how many times I had to stop reading chapter 16 for fear of dehydration from the loss of one particular body fluid. I so wish it had been Shego with Kim because that would have sent me over the edge but well� I have a feeling you will get me there eventually. Also, aside from the frequent peeing (which you did eventually explain) and the taking food to the bathroom, you have the girl nature down which is something that male written Kigo stories sometimes lack. Pretty much everything else is dead on or close to it. The way you described Kim�s feelings about a threesome and her devolvement once she starts having sex and getting sucked into Corscan�s world is also spot on. It reminds me of similar events that happened in my life. So the realism is there. I like where this story is going. I just need one little thing� Shego. OK, keep it coming (hard and fast like I like it) and PLEASE Lord Master, give me KiGo!

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From kwh on October 08, 2007
This is starting to explore some themes that I have been trying to develop in "Enter the Naked Mole Rat", and it does it very well indeed...

More! More!
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