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Reviews for Revelations of Destiny

By : Kellendros

From ANON - Josh84 on November 14, 2007
Whoa. To go through all that while driving a motorcycle at around one hundred and sixty miles per hour, into on-coming traffic, and not hit one single thing. And I thought Kim could anything. Shego is one extraordinary woman - though by now, that's obvious. :P

Shego reacted just like I imagined - though I was half-expecting her to try something; like bite Kim's tongue before throwing her aside. What was unexpected for me was the fact that Shego was the one who ran away. After all, Kim was the one who was horrified by that dream of her and Shego, so it would have been understandable that she would run. But Shego... well, I just didn't see it coming.

Meanwhile, back where she left Kim...

Looking forward to the Kim's POV.

Once again, great job!
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From beeftony on November 14, 2007
All the KiGo fics I've read, no matter how different they may be in other respects, all seem to follow a set pattern:

1. They kiss.

2. They freak out, but neither really runs away. Instead, they have a little spat and talk out their issues.

3. They agree to work on this new development.

Naturally, since you didn't follow this pattern, you've officially thrown me for a loop. But it's a good loop. A change of pace is nice, and this is actually the most in-character reaction I've ever seen from Shego. Her character is defined by her tendency to run away from her problems. It's good to see an author finally acknowledge that.

Of course, it helps that Shego is the one who's still in denial about this whole thing. Kim has had months to come to grips with the fact that she's Gay, and, even if she's not completely okay with it yet, she's at least had time to think about desiring Shego. Shego on the other hand merely laughed off the notion that Kim "Want wants" her, so when she finds out that it's true... well naturally she feels a bit overwhelmed.

I like the way you portrayed Shego's thought process in this chapter. While other stories feature the classic internal debate, very few do it as skillfully as you do here. Shego is not actually arguing with herself, but rather trying to control her raging thoughts and calm the hell down. But despite her best efforts, she ends up coming as a result of her getaway vehicle. Proof that you can't run away from your problems, no matter how hard you may try.

Great chapter and I can't wait to see more of the fallout. :D
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From ANON - PunkRockPrincess on November 14, 2007
That was really intense. I could almost feel it myself. I fucking loved. I haven't had a chance to read this in a while, so I'm glad I finally caught up with it tonight (been really busy). It's fantastic! I definitely can't wait for the next chapter.
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From ANON - mecella on November 13, 2007
very nice chapter.
hope we can see the fight from shego's POV in the next chapter before moving on with the story. i'd really like to know what was going through her mind during the entire encounter.
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From ANON - me on November 10, 2007
My. God. You finally got to it, and it was worth waiting for, sorry I ever doubted you. that fight scene was sick. Can't wait to see what caught Shego's attention.
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From beeftony on November 09, 2007
YESSSSS!!!!! *pumps fist repeatedly*

This is everything I was waiting for, finally here! KiGo FTW! :D This is always my favorite moment in any KiGo story, followed closely by the aftermath. That moment where raw desire overrides logical thought; where the walls between them come tumbling down; where the nature of the battle changes completely.

May I be the first to say, Shego is absoutely BADASS in this chapter. The costume change, while shocking, works *incredibly* well, and her new and improved physique.... *drool* Me likey.

I like how the encounter between them was basically a reversal of the warehouse incident; Shego took Kim by surprise and actually used her own line against her: "Just shut up and fight, Princess." Awesome. As is usual of your fight scenes, the moves described were vicious and incredibly easy to visualize.

It makes sense that Kim would regret the warehouse incident, since it's basically equivalent to a hundred tower kicks. Her conscience always catches up to her, and her guilt is very well-described. I do like, though, that her competetive nature won out and her desire to make Shego understand overrode her martyr impulse. Boy would THAT have been an anticlimactic ending.

Looking forward to seeing where this goes; I'm pretty sure it'll go up soon, since the feedback rate is likely to explode after this chapter.
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From ANON - Josh84 on November 09, 2007
Now this was definitely a great and intense chapter. Great job! The fight was amazing! Shego really stepped up! Kim fought back just as hard, only this time, it wasn't so one-sided. They seem to be close to even again. Then again, they were fighting for different reasons this time: Shego was fighting to annihilate Kim (I assume), and Kim was fighting to stop Shego long enough to explain things. Then, of course, they ended up in that position. Of all the times for Kim to get aroused.

Now, just as we were getting around to a little Kigo action-finally-from what I gathered from the last sentence, Kim's "tongue action" snapped Shego out of her lust-filled daze. What will happen now?

I know, you'll let us know next time. Looking forward to it!
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From heraldoftruth on November 08, 2007
So it finally happened. Well you are going to get rave reviews from your readers who have been waiting for this since the first chapter. I am rather glad you waited as long as you did though, especially since this is, in reality, just the beginning and I can't see you letting this devolve into some sappy romance that is just like all the others that I have read. Not that I have anything against romance, but seriously, when you read the same romance over and over where the only thing to change is the setting... well that gets kind boring no matter how much you like the pairing or the characters (the main reason I like KiGo is the fact that Shego and Kim are some of the only characters in the show that I really like... stupidity really doesn't do much for me... that and they go well together). Anyway, you seem to be doing things differently, especially with what that last sentence is suggesting and how the rest of the story has gone. I am looking forward to seeing how this plays out and what their reactions will be, somehow I get the feeling that it won't be instantaneous puppy love (I am really hoping that you won't, and I haven't been disappointed so far). Anyway, back to the chapter. Shego was acting a little strange in the beginning, but considering all that has happened, I think that it is perfectly reasonable and in character, however, the ending part still seems a little off. I know that your response to this will be that it was a spur of the moment thing that neither of them really thought about or anticipated in any way, and that makes perfect sense (I even agree with it), it is just that when you really get down to it we know so little about these characters and what we do know is so two-dimensional that when they start being people it seems a little off. This is by no means a reflection of your story, in fact, I feel that your interpretation is unusually good. Anyway, you should probably re-write the 2nd sentence in the 3rd to last paragraph (it starts "As Kim�s pleasure mounted...") it has a pretty glaring error, but other than that I really liked the chapter. If I haven't said it before your action scenes are superb and this one is no exception (I especially liked the motorcycle surfing). I wish you hadn't ended it where you did though, it was just about to get even more interesting... Keep up the good work.

Herald
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From tecate on November 06, 2007
Dude Lynn SO HAS TO BE Nana Possible! We all know she was like this bad ass martial artist and was in the military (said so in canon!) so this makes things super interesting if it is. In fact if it�s not then poo on you Lord K because that would be the sweetest revenge. Corscan loses the love of her life then as some strange payback/replacement for Lynn she goes after, captures and Kim Possible Lynn's granddaughter! Freaking AWESOME!
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From tecate on November 06, 2007
Oh wow, I think I have a new favorite chapter. I loved getting to see Shego �interact� with Corscan ALTHOUGH it blows my theory of where this story is going out of the water. So now I�m gonna have to ask for a map because I�m lost as to what is really going on and I so thought I knew! How silly of me!
I was surprised to see Corscan treat Ron so viscously; somehow I thought she�d be more cool/passive with him. I also want to know how the hell the buffoon got in. Please, unless Wade helped him (a lot) or the security defenses were miraculously down at the time he snuck in, there is just no way Ronnie could have done it.
Shego can do 100 pound curls? She looks so small in canon, your Shego rocks. Oh and I love that she can fly like a �real� superhero even if she does it badly! Cool addition. I REALLY, REALLY wanted more conversation between Shego and Corscan because she really didn�t have any of her questions answered aside from a few suspicions confirmed. So I hope the next time they tussle there is more chatter.

Seriously I can�t wait for MORE!!!

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From heraldoftruth on November 05, 2007
Ah, the picture becomes clearer, do you realize that this is the first chapter where we actually learn anything about Corscan, about who she is and what makes her tick? I now have to go back through the chapters and pick up all the clues that you sprinkled throughout that this new information sheds light on, a task I greatly look forward to. If the age differences weren't so great, I would be tempted to think that Lynn was Nana Possible, even though I have long suspected that Corscan is older than she admits to I'm not sure that she is that old. Anyway, Ch28 was entertaining and at least a little enlightening. Keep up the good work.

Herald
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From ANON - Josh84 on November 05, 2007
This certainly was an interesting "interlude." Definitely want to learn more about this Lynn, though I do have my suspicions.

Keep up the good work.
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From PureEvilOne on November 05, 2007
The reason for Corscan's interest in Kim became a little clearer to me. I have a better understanding of who Corscan is and why she is the way she is. I just have to figure out what she is. Is theCorscan/Lynn backtory going to appear as flashbacks in this story or a sidestory all it's own? I look forward to more.
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From ANON - Anon on November 02, 2007
Like Kim wouldn't believe Ron in that situation.
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From ANON - List of Romantics on November 02, 2007
I. Hate. Corscan.

Warning: I'm gonna vent.

Despite your claims to the contrary, she is most definitely EVIL... but also INVINCIBLE, ALL-POWERFUL, DECEITFUL, CONTROLLING, NEARLY ALL-KNOWING! Does she have any weakness? Are any stronger or able to beat, best, or better her? You've done well to create a character I loathe with every ounce of my being; whom I wish a long and protracted, painful death/torture upon. But does she have any flaws beyond hubris and great denial: "I do not now, nor do I ever want to hurt Kim. I only want the best for her, understand?" -Funny, most people don't show that by nearly killing their sex-toy's oldest/closest friend, regardless of how one rationalizes her use of excessive/lethal force; or tricking said sex-toy into gambling away her virginity. Mental Health Professionals call that sociopathic... and I truly doubt Kim won't end up "hurt" once the curtain falls). But, I doubt that it will happen. So far, Corscan gets away with everything (more proof of her "God-hood"); doubt that trend will change.

Part of me thinks you're takin' a piss, mostly as her grand role in the greater conflict has yet to be revealed. Indeed, I can't fathom what said conflict will be based upon or how roles will be filled, based by the summary you gave in the forward. You've done well to reveal Kim's sexuality (in the most unorthodox manner that I've encountered), but without a small sense of frame or greater purpose, it all feels aimless now.

The second half of me thinks Corscan is a means of torture for KiGo fans. And while I "wish I could quit you," out of hair pulling frustration muddled with rage dashed liberally with hatred for the She-Hulk (she REALLY pushes my buttons, as if you couldn't tell), I can't. With the same grim, rubbernecking fascination people have for car crashes, I find I am unable to turn away. So, whom do I hate more, Her or Me?

I will say this: Revelations of Destiny is unlike any KP fanfiction I've read. You've shown yourself to be a remarkable writer with great imagination.

Now, however, I need to burn off some adrenaline and more than a little rage, so it's off to the heavy bag and the Dojo.
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