The Brain Behind The Mask

BY : xandermartin98
Category: +1 through F > Courage the Cowardly Dog
Dragon prints: 170
Disclaimer: I do not own Courage The Cowardly Dog, nor do I make any money off of this work.

THE BRAIN BEHIND THE MASK

Written by XanderMartin98

It was a very (seemingly) peaceful evening in (the middle of) Nowhere(, Kansas). The ground appeared to be utterly devoid of both plant life and moisture, Courage’s/Muriel’s house was extremely old and wooden and also appeared to be surrounded by a literally-nothing-containing land circle of which the radius was at least an entire mile long, the windmill right next to said house barely even worked, and the sky was delightfully pink/orange. More importantly, however, Courage himself was weirdly-merrily sleeping right next to his/Muriel’s aforementioned house’s hen house in a face-down position while Muriel collected a delightfully delicious-looking basketful of eggs from said hen house and was also-merrily humming to herself as she did so. Needless to say, neither of said weirdos was even remotely aware of the fact that a certain very-unsettlingly masked and blatantly Klan-robe-wearing literal cat woman who called herself “Kitty” (and also was actually completely naked underneath her robe, just so you know) was remarkably-menacingly sneaking toward Courage while his eyes and his back were respectively closed and turned. 

“Dogs are EVIL!” Kitty rather-coldly said to herself as she finally arrived at Courage’s aforementioned sleeping spot; naturally enough, Courage bloodshot-eyedly woke from his also-aforementioned nap and rather-tiredly asked her “HUH?” in response. About as frighteningly as you can probably imagine, what Courage was “rewarded” with when he looked up at Kitty was a highly disturbing eyeful of said woman’s extremely Klan-esque white robe and the quite-frankly soul-piercingly emotionless way in which the face on her mask was staring at him. Indeed, simply imagining what types of inhuman thoughts Kitty was most-likely hiding behind that mask of hers would have easily made any normal person shudder...surely enough, however, Courage was FAR too high-strung to have such a boringly normal reaction to Kitty’s creepiness.

“AUUUUUUGH!” Courage incredibly-cartoonishly jumped straight up into the air and incredibly-overdramatically screamed at the top of his lungs, somehow causing himself to float in midair in the process. Unfortunately for him, however, Kitty was quite-frankly even more afraid of Courage’s species than Courage was of hers...and also VERY-clearly was NOT in the mood to laugh at Courage’s “wannabe Looney Tunes character” antics.

“Uhh...y-you’re not going to hit me really HARD with that sink that you’re holding right now, are you?” Courage (who was now standing straight up) inquisitively pointed the index finger of his suddenly human left hand straight up into the air and highly-worriedly asked Kitty while audibly trembling in the process. Indeed, Kitty had somehow caused a kitchen sink to magically appear in her hands (presumably by channeling her own sheer hatred of dogs into said hands) and was far-too-clearly readying herself to utterly smash Courage using said sink as said dog spoke.

“Guess.” Kitty extremely-flatly said before then immediately proceeding to inhumanly-forcefully swing her aforementioned new weapon straight down at Courage’s head no less than five times, comically-severely injuring him and causing several of his teeth to fly out of his mouth in the process. Being an absolute “glutton for punishment” as always, however, Courage dementedly laughed at his own indescribably immense resulting pain in response as his eyes and nose also fell off of his horribly bump-riddled head while he was busy incredibly-weakly crawling (a few inches) away from Kitty on all fours.

“Oh! PLAYING with your new friend? That’s grand!” Muriel suddenly walked back out of the hen house with her aforementioned basketful of eggs in tow and ever-so-adorably-obliviously asked and complimented Kitty while said cat just bewilderedly (and, due to her mask, seemingly-expressionlessly) glared at her in response. Luckily, however, despite the fact that Kitty was still rather-tightly holding her aforementioned kitchen sink using both of her hands, she (for some reason) had already completely lost interest in using it as a weapon to attack Courage with...mostly because she also had already thought of something considerably MORE brutal and humiliating to do to said dog, mind you.

“Pleased to meet’cha! Courage doesn’t make many friends, you know; we’d LOVE it if you’d join us for tea!” Muriel ever-so-welcomingly told Kitty, who simply continued standing in place and saying absolutely nothing in response. Meanwhile, Courage horrifiedly pointed his natural canine fingers at Kitty and began incoherently babbling (in his native “dog language”, of course) about how blatantly Klan-ish said cat looked in a rather-predictably failed attempt to get Muriel to actually understand what was going on between him and said female version of Katz.

“Fine...I’ll leave you two alone so that you can play with each other!” Muriel rather-suggestively (but still ridiculously-innocently) told Courage and Kitty as she began walking back to her/Courage’s house. Meanwhile, the suddenly empty-handed Kitty ice-coldly glared at Courage in such a terrifyingly powerful way that said dog was actually able to see her anger through her mask.

“SUCH a lovely girl…” Muriel gaily complimented Kitty as said cat and Courage continued staring at each other as if they were waiting for one of themselves to say something to the other one. Needless to say, Courage was audibly shaking as the two of them did so, while Kitty was increasingly-impatiently crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her suddenly human right foot against the ground.

“What? Do you expect me to TALK or something?” Courage (whose injuries somehow were already freakishly-rapidly disappearing due to his Toon Force superpowers) got back up onto his own (thankfully-still-canine) feet, crossed his own arms over his own chest, and rather-annoyedly asked Kitty. Meanwhile, said cat merely continued to seethingly look straight down at him in response.

“No, you pathetic little runt; I expect you to DIE!” Kitty furiously explained as she then immediately proceeded to channel her own aforementioned sheer hatred of dogs into her mask and therefore fire not one but TWO shrink rays at Courage using said mask’s eyes. Surely enough, before Courage even knew exactly WHAT Kitty had just shot him with, his size had already been reduced to that of the utterly pitiful little worker ant that said cat quite-clearly saw him as.

“HUH? Where am I?” Courage bewilderedly wondered out loud to himself as he looked around himself and saw how extremely larger the ground that he was standing on suddenly appeared to be from his perspective...then audibly gulped as she suddenly saw Kitty’s seemingly massive (and, for some totally-not-fetish-related reason, still human) feet standing right in front of himself and therefore immediately realized what Kitty was most-likely planning to do to him using said feet of hers.
 
“I sure do hope that you enjoy the view that I’m giving you as I say this, you fucking perverted little FREAK, because I sincerely promise that it’ll be the last one that you EVER get!” Kitty scathingly sneered at Courage as she suddenly lifted the left one of her gorgeously smooth-looking and white-toenailed human feet straight up into the air while also lifting the “front-bottom” part of her robe straight up with her right hand (giving Courage a quite-literally drool-inducing view of both the vagina beneath said robe and the sole of said foot in the process, of course). Saying that Kitty was about to step on Courage would be QUITE an understatement to say the least. 

“AUUUUUUGH!” Courage absurdly-rapidly flailed his arms up and down as if he was a hummingbird (or a severely hyperactive anime character, for that matter) and wildly screamed at the top of his lungs yet again (in a way that rather-clearly used the exact same sound clip as his previous scream, no less) as Kitty’s monstrous left foot came crashing down onto him. Rather amusingly, the result of this was Courage being quite-literally flattened by said foot as Kitty lowered the aforementioned “front-bottom” part of her robe back into its normal position and then immediately began sitting on her own bottom so that she would be able to keep a closer eye on her utterly adorable new torture victim (in order to more-effectively prevent him from attempting to run away from her, of course).

“OOOGH…” Courage humiliatedly and rather-weirdly-arousedly groaned in pain as Kitty lifted her aforementioned left foot off of him, revealing the Courage-shaped piece of paper that said cat had basically just turned him into in the process as she then proceeded to plop her surprisingly heavy butt cheeks onto the ground that he was basically stuck to and therefore rather-impressively cause said ground to shake intensely enough to actually-quite-effectively dislodge him from it as a result.

“DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!” Kitty increasingly-frustratedly yelled at Courage as she brutally stomped him into the ground no less than five more times (using her right foot, followed by her left foot, followed by her aforementioned right foot, and so on) until he basically was nothing more than a Courage-shaped glob of paste that rather-humiliatingly happened to be stuck on the bottom of her right foot.

“Hmph...what an impossibly-yet-strangely-admirably durable and persistent little pest you are…” Kitty very-annoyedly told Courage as she disgustedly (yet very-impressedly) scraped him off of the aforementioned sole of her still-human right foot using her much-more-consistently-human-than-Courage’s hands before then forcefully throwing him back down onto the ground and surprisingly-patiently (although still cross-armedly and right-foot-tappingly) waiting for him to finally recover from what she had just done to him. Surely enough, roughly thirty seconds later, he somehow actually did.

“Well...I must say...since you clearly have just utterly soiled this inexplicably five-toed right foot of mine by becoming stuck onto it like a fuzzy little piece of chewing gum, why don’t you try CLEANING it for me?!” Kitty still-incredibly-seethingly explained to Courage as she continued sitting in front of him, then ferociously roared as she surprisingly-gently brought her right foot straight back down onto Courage, still having her arms firmly crossed over her chest as she did so. As utterly degrading of an experience as it was, however, Courage was actually enjoying being forced to crawl around underneath the sole of Kitty’s right foot and lick the dirt off of said sole considerably more intensely than he probably would be inclined to admit if you ever asked him about said subject.

“OH, how I wish that I wasn’t neutered right now…” Courage droolingly moaned with delight and experienced a rather-disturbingly passionate nosebleed as he slavishly stroked/scrubbed the sole of Kitty’s deliciously soft and sweaty (not to mention ever-so-bizarrely human) right foot with his drippingly wet tongue, utterly soaking said sole with his extremely slimy and bacteria-loaded saliva in the process. Amusingly enough, Kitty was almost able to literally see her own reflection on the surface of her aforementioned right sole when Courage FINALLY decided that he was done licking said sole. As much as Courage’s rather-excessively apparent love for her clearly disturbed and disgusted her, however, Kitty had already quite-firmly decided that she still had a quite important job to do (killing Courage, obviously), and at the point that is being described in this paragraph, she VERY-clearly was more-than-willing to do quite-literally ANYTHING in order to finally get said job done once and for all...which, predictably enough, even included literally eating Courage alive.

“As much as I absolutely LOATHE the mere thought of having to do this, you appear to have left me with no other choice; farewell, you filthy little foot licker. Rest in my feces.” Kitty ever-so-coldly explained to Courage as she briefly removed her mask (and therefore revealed her cute but rather odd-looking actual face to Courage) using her right hand while picking said dog up and then weirdly-gently placing him into her mouth using her left hand. At first, Courage wasn’t exactly sure why Kitty had decided to merely trap him inside her mouth rather than properly tossing him down her throat, but then it hit him; as her way of rewarding him for how immensely strong he was, she rather-clearly was going/planning to give him a poetic (albeit incredibly sadistic) send-off by washing him down her throat using some kind of drink (presumably a cup of tea). Surely enough, said suspicion of his was far-too-quickly confirmed by Kitty as she regretfully put her mask back on using both of her hands and then immediately began walking straight toward his/Muriel’s house while he was busy hopelessly “playing dead” (in other words, hopelessly lying face-up) atop her rather-oddly-comfortingly moist, fleshy and slimy tongue.

“Well, it sure has been awfully nice knowing you, cruel world…” Courage very-carefully got back up onto his feet and VERY-regretfully thought to himself, jadedly and rather-jealously looking around the somewhat creepy-looking but surprisingly clean interior of Kitty’s mouth as he did so. Meanwhile, Kitty herself was busy completely-shamelessly saying “alright; now it’s time for me to wash this sucker down using a nice, warm cup of his own adoptive momma’s tea” to herself out loud just to tease/scare him even more than she already had.

“Alright; you know WHAT?! That’s it; I can’t fucking TAKE this anymore! PLEASE LET ME OUT OF HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW; I’M FUCKING BEGGING YOU, FOR GOD’S SAKE! DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME, WOMAN?!” Courage suddenly began maniacally and bloodshot-eyedly yelling/screaming at the top of his lungs, frantically running straight over to Kitty’s (sharper versions of human) teeth and then desperately pounding on them with his (suddenly human) hands as he did so. Surely enough, Kitty completely ignored Courage’s pleas and continued walking in response; however, right when Kitty was JUST about to finally reach the front door of Courage’s/Muriel’s house, Courage (after realizing that what he was doing was indeed utterly useless and therefore quite-thankfully deciding to calm himself back down by taking several remarkably deep breaths) suddenly took another look at the roof of said cat’s mouth and saw something that gave him what can only be described as a truly wonderful yet also very-truly AWFUL idea in the process.

“Man; TALK about one of this show’s characters becoming a victim of yet another slapstick GAG, am I right?” Courage briefly looked at his show’s viewers and rather-smugly quipped for their “amusement” as he surprisingly-nonchalantly walked over to the back of Kitty’s tongue with a downright-painfully obvious intention to purposefully touch the adorably big, juicy-looking and dangling uvula that ever-so-conveniently happened to be attached to the roof of said cat’s mouth (not to mention be exactly the right size for a very big and very comforting hug from poor little ant-sized Courage) in order to trigger her gag reflex. However, since Courage’s actual limbs sadly were not long enough to actually be able to reach Kitty’s uvula from where he was standing after he had finished walking over to the back of her tongue, he ended up having to...well...how should I say this...improvise.

“Man; I sure do hope that the dog that I just put into my mouth isn’t doing anything WEIRD in there…” Kitty suddenly stopped walking (while literally being right in front of the front door of Muriel’s/Courage’s house, no less) and somewhat-worriedly thought to herself. Meanwhile, inside said cat’s mouth, Courage was already busy making incredibly weird noises with his own mouth as he extended his tongue to a completely ludicrous length and then absurdly-detailedly began coiling it around her uvula.

“URK! AGH! BLECH!” Kitty frantically ran straight back over to Muriel’s hen house and began increasingly-loudly gagging as Courage amazingly-tightly squeezed her uvula using his tongue and then began forcefully tugging on said uvula using said tongue. Meanwhile, Muriel somehow still thought that Kitty and Courage were “just playing with each other”, while her cranky old husband (Eustace) didn’t even care what the two of them were doing as long as he got to read newspapers and watch TV.

“Wow; who honestly would have thought that my big mouth would actually end up being the thing that SAVED me in a ‘life or death’ situation such as this one?” Courage pleasantly-surprisedly thought to himself as he used his firmly-attached-to-Kitty’s-uvula tongue to pull himself up onto Kitty’s uvula, which he then also-very-tightly grabbed using all four of his limbs before then finally retracting his tongue the rest of the way back into his own mouth and then lovingly (not to mention wetly and sloppily) smooching the aforementioned uvula that said tongue had formerly been attached to once he had finally finished doing so. Meanwhile, Kitty had already gotten down onto her hands and knees and began desperately struggling to prevent herself from vomiting due to her gag reflex.

“Rock-a-bye, Yuvie, in this cat’s mouth; now that I’m on it, her day’s going south…she is already gagging a bunch; in a few seconds, she’ll eject her lunch!” Courage began playfully (and, in fact, VERY-childishly) singing as he quite-literally rocked Kitty’s uvula back and forth using his body weight while also surprisingly-subtly tickling said uvula using his fingers and toes as he did so.

“I sincerely apologize for having to do this on-screen, but this miserable little pest has sadly left me with no other choice.” Kitty regretfully explained to the show’s viewers as she very-forcefully yanked/threw her mask off using both of her hands and then incredibly-forcefully puked all over the ground next to Muriel’s hen house, rather-effectively (albeit accidentally) freeing Courage from her digestive system and sending him careening straight back onto said ground in the process.

“OOF! OW! D’OH!” Courage annoyingly-loudly and incredibly-stupid-soundingly grunted and yelped in pain as he bounced off of the ground several times before then finally making his actual (face-down and extremely depressed-looking) landing on said ground. Surely enough, when he got into his “lying face-up on the ground” position in order to look straight up at the suddenly-standing-straight-up-again Kitty’s actual face, said face was adorned with an expression that quite-frankly looked angry enough to cause her brain to quite-literally melt (oh, and just to top it off, her ears also had jets of steam shooting out of themselves, in addition to her fists being clenched so ridiculously-tightly that they quite-clearly looked as if they were about to start bleeding).

“Let me ask you something right here and right now, you utterly detestable little CUNT; what exactly ARE you trying to prove by irritating me THIS freaking much? Out of respect for how remarkably impressive of a fight you’ve somehow managed to put up against me, I’ll give you exactly ONE chance to tell me the answer to said question in a way that DOESN’T royally piss me off, but you’d better talk REALLY freaking fast!” Kitty took several extremely deep breaths (in order to prevent herself from completely losing control of herself due to how unbelievably angry Courage had just made her) and then clearly-still-seethingly explained to Courage before then proceeding to kneel down onto the right one of her suddenly-feline-again feet and then very-symbolically scoop said dog up in the palm of her left hand as she was an actual goddess. Meanwhile, Muriel rather-plot-conveniently was already readying herself to inform Kitty about the tea that she had been making for said cat finally being ready.

“Ugh...the THINGS I do for love…” Courage rather-nauseatedly groaned (despite “the things” that he had already been put through by Kitty in this story, mind you) as Kitty begrudgingly lifted him up to where her left ear was, clearly-intentionally allowing Courage to jump straight into said ear in the process while Muriel suddenly (but very-briefly) popped out of the front doorway of her/Courage’s house in order to incredibly-enthusiastically yell “YOUR TEA’S READY, SWEETIE-PIES” at said dog and said cat while said dog actually DID, in fact, jump straight into said cat’s left ear. Not wanting to seem TOO suspicious (by the show’s standards, at least), Kitty responded to what Muriel had just yelled at her by immediately putting her mask right back on and then also-immediately running straight back over to Courage’s/Muriel’s house for some good old-fashioned “tea-drinking and exposition-delivering”.

“Let me tell you something VERY freaking important ‘right here and right now’, guys and gals; when I say that I’m willing to do literally ANYTHING in order to make my voice heard, I do NOT usually mean it THIS freaking literally!” Courage increasingly-annoyedly and extremely-disgustedly whispered to his show’s viewers as he remarkably-cautiously snuck his way past the rather-notably large and numerous chunks of gooey and hairy earwax that Kitty’s fleshy, veiny and generally hairy left ear canal rather-predictably contained.

“Alright, now please listen to me when I say this; I really don’t want to hurt you, okay? In fact, I actually want to HELP you, and if I want to be able to effectively do that, the first two things that I need to know are who you are and exactly WHAT is going on in this pretty little head of yours!” Courage extremely-indignantly began explaining to Kitty after finally reaching her left eardrum. Meanwhile, Kitty herself was “busy” idly standing right in front of the front door of Muriel’s/Courage’s house yet again while also annoyedly crossing her arms over her chest as she did so.

“Fine, I’ll tell you; my name is Kitty, and me and my girlfriend have been horribly abused by a certain group of dogs that quite-frankly must not be named.” Kitty incredibly-vaguely explained to Courage while said dog very-annoyedly face-palmed himself and remarkably-loudly groaned “UGH” in response. While Kitty certainly had BASICALLY told him who she was and what had happened to her, her explanation unfortunately was rather-severely lacking in a certain very important thing known as-

“DETAILS! Please give me more details about yourself and what has happened to you so that I will be able to find out EXACTLY what’s going on in your brain!” Courage got down onto his knees, repeatedly pounded on Kitty’s left eardrum with his suddenly human fists and began desperately (not to mention cryingly) begging like the quite literal dog that he was. Meanwhile, Kitty exhaustedly shrugged, rolled her eyes and muttered “whatever” to herself in response.

“Oh, for crying out loud; if you REALLY want to see what is going on in MY brain THAT freaking badly, then why don’t you just literally go into it yourself?” Kitty threw her arms out beside herself and rather-irritatedly pointed out. As much as Courage hated having to admit it, she actually did have an extremely valid point (due to his show being the type of show that it was, of course).

“HMPH! You know what? FINE! Maybe I WILL enter your brain so that I can use it to fix that freaking ATTITUDE of yours while also restoring your sanity and helping you defeat your enemies in the process...assuming that there isn’t anything ELSE that you’re planning to make me do FIRST, at least!” Courage placed his hands onto his hips and very-indignantly sneered/hissed into Kitty’s left eardrum. As you can probably imagine, he far-too-quickly discovered just how bad of an idea it actually was to give Kitty the types of ideas that he was talking about as a result of said rudeness. 

“HMM...you know, now that you mention it, the ear of mine that I just inserted you into really COULD use some good old-fashioned cleaning…” Kitty rather-teasingly told Courage as said dog’s face rather-understandably became visibly green and depressed-looking in response. Meanwhile, Muriel was rather-impressively-patiently keeping Kitty’s tea warm for her while Eustace ever-so-lazily sat in front of his television and read yet another Nowhere News newspaper.

“Oh, dear G-G-God...p-please don’t t-t-tell me that you w-w-w-want me t-to-” Courage extremely-nervously began stammering into Kitty’s left eardrum before said cat rather-abruptly cut him off.

“EAT MY FREAKING EARWAX, YOU FILTHY LITTLE BASTARD! WORK FOR FOOD!” Kitty tightly clutched her chest using both of her hands and uproariously laughed at Courage’s expense while said dog nauseatedly leaned forward and groaned “I hate my life” in response. As you can probably imagine, Muriel opened the front door of her/Courage’s house yet again shortly thereafter in order to hopefully find out what all of the ruckus that Kitty had just made was about.

“Sweet HEAVENS; who in God’s name are you speaking so LOUDLY to, pardon my asking?” Muriel head-scratchingly and rather-worriedly asked Kitty as said cat surprisingly-non-reluctantly walked straight into her/Courage’s house through said house’s front door while Muriel was still holding said door open. Needless to say, Kitty and Muriel both immediately went straight to the house’s kitchen (with Eustace joining them shortly thereafter) for a good old-fashioned “tea/breakfast chat”.

“Oh, just one of the cute little maintenance workers that live in my body; try to not think too hard about it!” Kitty swung her right hand straight down as if it was (well) a cat paw and surprisingly-playfully teased Muriel (causing both of said women to merrily laugh/chuckle in response) as the two of them finally arrived in the house’s kitchen, in which the REAL meat of this story finally began to show up.

AFTER MURIEL HAD FINISHED MAKING “BREAKFAST” MEALS FOR HERSELF AND EUSTACE…

“My name is Kitty, and I’ve come from the wrong side of the tracks.” Kitty very-depressedly and somewhat-reluctantly told Eustace and Muriel as the three of them sat together at Muriel’s dinner table. Rather-peculiarly, Eustace and Muriel had actual food (bacon and eggs, along with glasses of milk) in front of themselves while Kitty only had her tea (which, apparently, had indeed been made “just for her” despite being quite-literally an entire teapot’s worth of the stuff) in front of herself. Apparently, Kitty was just so astonishingly determined to figure out how to deal with her “kidnapped girlfriend” crisis that she was actively refusing to even eat (well, to eat a larger amount of food than the “bare minimum” one that she absolutely NEEDED to eat in order to survive, at least). In fact, despite the fact that she supposedly WAS planning to drink her aforementioned tea, Kitty still had her mask on (due to how much she quite-frankly hated allowing other people to see her real face).

“My girlfriend- I mean, my closest friend, Bunny…” Kitty regretfully began explaining as she poured a surprisingly warm cupful of tea from her teapot into her actual teacup before then very-carefully setting said teapot back down onto the dinner table while Muriel adorably-curiously asked her “YES?” in response. Meanwhile, Courage was already busy incredibly-thoroughly cleaning the wax out of Kitty’s left ear canal...using his tongue.

“Fell in love with a certain gangster known as Mad Dog…” Kitty continued explaining as she used the stirring spoon that Muriel had provided for her to stir a rather large amount of sugar into her aforementioned cupful of tea while Muriel rather-frightenedly said “OH, MY” in response. Meanwhile, Courage was chewing and swallowing a very-disgustingly large piece of Kitty’s aforementioned earwax.

“He treats her as if she’s his slave…” Kitty seethingly continued explaining as she repeatedly tapped her aforementioned stirring spoon against the top of her teacup in order to shake some of the tea that had gotten stuck to said spoon off of said spoon. Meanwhile, Courage was also-seethingly muttering “look who’s freaking TALKING” to himself as he impressively-hastily shoveled several more pieces of Kitty’s earwax straight into his already-rather-yellow-toothed mouth using his bare hands.

“Hmm...you know, to be honest, he actually kind of sounds like my kind of guy!” Eustace far-too-proudly admitted as he ever-so-gluttonously stuffed his face with the aforementioned “bacon and eggs” meal that Muriel had downright-impossibly-lovingly made for him while Courage was busy increasingly-indignantly stuffing his own face with Kitty’s earwax. Meanwhile, Muriel crossed her arms over her chest and went “HMPH” in response to what Eustace had just said about his relationship with her.

“He’s a low-down, DIRTY dog!” Kitty incredibly-bitterly sneered, causing Courage (who thankfully had almost finished cleaning her left ear canal) to develop an increasingly difficult-to-resist urge to utterly-sadistically smash her entire left eardrum into bloody little pieces as she did so. Naturally enough, Muriel’s only actual response to what Kitty had just said was a far-too-innocent-sounding “oh, gracious ME”; if only she had actually known about how much said cat had been shamelessly torturing Courage for her own amusement…

“When he found out that I was trying to get Bunny to run away…(‘drinks’ her tea)...he threatened to end my LIFE.” Kitty rather-frighteningly-angry-soundingly explained as she rather-slowly-and-ominously lifted her teacup to where her mask’s mouth was before then proceeding to utterly-pointlessly pour the contents of said teacup onto said “mouth” of hers and therefore cause them to drip down her “face”. Meanwhile, Courage rather-snarkily muttered “MAN, what a freaking hypocrite” to himself in response after unleashing a rather loud burp (and also rather-surprisingly resisting his resulting urge to childishly laugh at said burp) due to how much of Kitty’s earwax he had just been forced to eat.

“Oh, my...you poor lady…” Muriel depressedly sighed as she continued eating her “bacon and eggs” meal while Eustace far-too-predictably went “BLAH, BLAH, BLAH” in response. Needless to say, Muriel and Kitty both shot extremely disapproving glares at Eustace in response to said insult.

“ANYWAY, I was forced to leave my home...and my best friend, Bunny...I’m lost without her...I simply can’t bear to face the truth about my current situation...the fact that I will probably never see her again…” Kitty horribly-depressed-soundingly explained, somehow causing even Courage to genuinely feel incredibly bad for her in the process. Surely enough, however, Eustace still sorely lacked the ability to genuinely care about anyone other than himself.

“Oh, such a PITY…” Muriel placed her left hand onto her chin and empathetically sobbed while Eustace just irritatedly rolled his eyes and continued stuffing his face with the aforementioned bacon and eggs that Muriel had (painstakingly) made for him. Meanwhile, Courage, having finally (basically) finished cleaning Kitty’s left ear canal using his mouth, surprisingly-gently-and-politely knocked on her left eardrum with his suddenly human left fist as his way of letting her know that he actually was, in fact, done with what she had just incredibly-callously-and-selfishly forced him to do for her (more specifically, for her own amusement).

“If you just took that stupid freaking MASK of yours off, then maybe you would be able to SEE things more clearly!” Eustace incredibly-briefly stopped stuffing his face with food (while still holding his egg-piece-carrying fork right in front of said face, no less) and told Kitty in one of THE most downright-insufferably smart-alecky tones that he was capable of. To say the LEAST, Kitty far-too-clearly was NOT amused by said remark or (especially) the way in which Eustace had delivered it to her, despite how surprisingly valid of a point it actually was. Muriel, however, seemed to barely even be bothered by said remark.

“OH, DEAR!” Muriel startledly gasped in surprise as Kitty extremely-forcefully swung her entire left arm straight into her tea set (and therefore sent every single piece of said tea set flying across an incredibly large portion of the kitchen itself) in response to what Eustace had just said to her. Naturally enough, Eustace was every bit as startled by said outburst as Muriel was, while Courage (as much as he clearly did not want to admit it) actually quite-strongly agreed with him.

“We’ll continue this conversation later; right now, however, I do believe that I need to use your bathroom.” Kitty ludicrously-menacing-soundingly growled at Eustace as she placed her palms onto the dinner tabletop and seethingly glared at him, quite-frankly looking as if she was about to shoot yet another pair of eye lasers at him using her mask as she did so. Meanwhile, Muriel very-frightenedly said “go right on ahead; it’s upstairs, sweetie” to her in response to said request.

“Eustace, let’s not mention her mask again, okay?” Muriel highly-worriedly waved her hands at Eustace and warned him. Meanwhile, Kitty impressively-intimidatingly stormed her way upstairs and into the bathroom of Muriel’s/Courage’s house with her admirably effective new “ear cleaner” in tow while freakishly-robotic-soundingly chanting “DOGS ARE EVIL” to herself in the process.

“Don’t tell me what to do; I can mention her mask if I wanna…” Eustace ever-so-grouchily grumbled in response to what Muriel had just rather-explicitly told him to avoid doing as Kitty finally reached the house’s bathroom, tightly locking its entrance door behind herself as she did so. Meanwhile, rather-deeply inside Kitty’s left ear canal, Courage (surely enough) was already intently and almost-droolingly-arousedly staring at the left one of said cat’s highly fragile and sensitive eardrums. Seriously, you would not BELIEVE how thoroughly he wanted to break said eardrum after what Kitty had been doing to him.

“Alright, so let me get this straight, Courage; during the time that you’ve just spent inside my left ear canal, you heard all of the things that I just said about what Mad Dog has been doing to me and Bunny, AND you also finished cleaning the wax out of said ear canal of mine? AND you are absolutely SURE that you want to enter my brain in order to FIX it rather than breaking it?” Kitty rather-worriedly asked Courage as she sat down on the bathroom’s obligatory toilet while still wearing her entire “Klanswoman” costume (yes, including the “mask” part of said costume) and tried pointlessly hard to not look suspicious. Meanwhile, inside Kitty’s left ear canal, Courage disgustedly rolled his eyes and exasperatedly groaned “YES” into her left eardrum in response.

“Very well then; go ahead and bust my left eardrum open if you have to, but do NOT try to tell me that I didn’t warn you about the downright freakish and immensely depressing horrors that you presumably WILL end up finding in my brain if/when you actually DO, in fact, manage to reach my central nervous system!” Kitty ever-so-sternly warned Courage as said dog sadistically-grinningly pulled out a rather large sledgehammer from the right one (rather than the left one) of his quite literal “butt pockets” and then extremely-excitedly readied himself to cause Kitty to feel an amount of pain that she and her precious little brain were NOT going to be forgetting about any time soon (as his way of exacting sugarishly sweet revenge on the “poor little kitten” for what she had been doing to him, of course). Right when Courage was JUST about to start attacking Kitty’s left eardrum using his aforementioned sledgehammer, however, he and Kitty both suddenly heard Muriel knocking on the bathroom’s entrance door and therefore completely stopped moving in response.

“AHEM...please forgive me for the fact that Eustace and I somehow both forgot to ask you this, Kitty, but where exactly IS Courage right now?” Muriel rather-worriedly asked Kitty through the bathroom’s entrance door, nervously looking back and forth around herself and very-sincerely hoping that nothing that was extremely bad and/or disgusting had happened (or been happening) to said dog as she did so. However, as you hopefully already know by now, Kitty was so smart and so cool that she thought up a lie more quickly than how quickly Di Lung was able to say “watch where you’re going, ya fool”.

“Oh, don’t worry about him, sweethearts; he just magically grew angel wings due to his ‘pure goodness’ and then used said wings to fly over to China in order to stop a bunch of space aliens from destroying/conquering said country!” Kitty chucklingly explained to Eustace and Muriel, causing the two of them to say “good to know” (while Courage surprisingly-merrily and also-chucklingly told Kitty “good job actually knowing how utterly brainless and gullible those two are” using her left eardrum) in response. 

“Well, at least that stupid dog isn’t anywhere near ME right now, I suppose…” Eustace frustratedly groaned while Muriel rolled her eyes and exasperatedly sighed “yes, Eustace; at least he isn’t” in response. Right when the two of them were JUST about to walk back downstairs, however, they suddenly heard the rather disturbing sound of Kitty loudly screaming and crying in agony as Courage extremely-forcefully began attacking her left eardrum using his aforementioned sledgehammer.

“Sweet JESUS, Kitty; are you okay in there?!” Muriel quite-forcefully knocked on the bathroom’s entrance door several more times using her left fist and somewhat-horrifiedly asked Kitty. Meanwhile, said cat somehow managed to continue sitting almost-perfectly still on said bathroom’s toilet despite the fact that Courage was downright-ferociously clobbering her increasingly aching left eardrum with his aforementioned sledgehammer and increasingly-clearly was about to quite-literally break said eardrum as a result.

“DO I FREAKING SOUND OKAY TO YOU, WOMAN?!” Kitty furiously screamed at Muriel (who regretfully sighed “well, no” in response) as Courage droolingly-and-blushingly-and-pantingly-and-thankfully-neuteredly readied himself to deliver his “coup de grace” to Kitty’s heavily damaged yet incredibly durable eardrum using his sledgehammer. Meanwhile, Eustace was rather-childishly giggling to himself due to thinking that Kitty was suffering from constipation.

“You see, this right here is why people should always CHEW their food!” Eustace mockingly informed Kitty and Muriel, causing Muriel to very-angrily glare at him in response while Kitty helplessly trembled and whimpered due to how much utterly unbelievable pain Courage had just caused her to experience. Meanwhile, alarmingly-deeply inside Kitty’s left ear canal, Courage was STILL busy building up every last bit of strength that he had for one last sledgehammer swing. 

“TIME...FOR...YOU...TO...BREAK!” Courage valiantly and remarkably-cathartically roared at Kitty’s quite-visibly wounded and bleeding left eardrum as he used his sledgehammer to smash it right in its absolutely weakest spot (which basically was its frontal surface’s lower-left corner) and therefore bust an astoundingly (albeit disgustingly and horrifically) large hole right through it. Needless to say, Kitty was absolutely unable to believe that she had just given Courage permission to do what he had just done to her (in addition to basically being deaf in her left ear).

Once Kitty had finally finished horrifically shrieking in pain due to the sheer amount of damage that Courage had caused to her left eardrum, said dog then proceeded to immediately run straight through her left middle ear (after impressively-quickly re-inserting his sledgehammer into his “butt pockets” and then surprisingly-sneakily crawling through the aforementioned freakishly large hole that he had just busted through her also-aforementioned left eardrum using said hammer, of course) and then shockingly-gracefully dive straight into the incredibly cartoonish inner-ear-shaped pneumatic tube system that her left inner ear apparently was. Meanwhile, Kitty was rather-understandably-desperately struggling to not freak out even more intensely than she already had while Eustace and Muriel were already walking back downstairs and arguing with each other about whether said cat’s aforementioned screaming had indeed been the result of her having to take an incredibly nasty and painful dump (Eustace) or had far-more-interestingly been the result of her experiencing horrific “nightmares in the real world” hallucinations due to the incredibly crippling mental trauma that Mad Dog rather-blatantly seemed to have given her (Muriel).

“GYAAAAAA- OOF!” Courage sky-divingly screamed (then face-plantingly grunted) as Kitty’s aforementioned left inner ear suddenly ejected him into said cat’s shockingly large and powerful-looking (but also incredibly hollow) brain through said brain’s left “auditory nerve” hole. Meanwhile, Kitty herself, after briefly but rather-amusingly becoming cross-eyed as a result of Courage blushingly, wetly, sloppily, and generally-extremely-passionately licking the floor of her brain’s left hemisphere with all of his might (and therefore accidentally and hilariously-cartoonishly electrocuting himself into a skinny little crisp due to a rather unfortunate combination of the sheer amount of electrical energy that was flowing through said brain and the fact that his saliva conducted said electricity) after landing face-down on said floor, extremely-nervously flushed the toilet that she had been sitting on and then also-extremely-nervously walked back downstairs into Muriel’s living room in order to ask her and Eustace a very important question that rather-surprisingly was actually NOT about where the nearest actually competent psychiatrist was located.

“Look, you two; I really do sincerely apologize for how much noise I’ve just made in your bathroom, but I also-sincerely promise that said noise really WAS, in fact, a result of me hallucinating my recurring nightmares about Mad Dog into reality due to the sheer amount of mental trauma that said dog has caused me to suffer from.” Kitty regretfully shrugged her shoulders and surprisingly-calmly explained to Eustace and Muriel as she rather-intimidatingly stood right next to the chairs on which the two of them were sitting (to be more specific, Muriel’s rocking chair and Eustace’s newspaper-reading chair) and surprisingly-patiently waited for the two of them to finally stop ignoring her and actually respond to what she had just said to them.

“Oh, REALLY? Are you SURE that it wasn’t just a result of you fantasizing about having sex with him?” Eustace briefly lowered his newspaper out of his face’s way just to bitterly sneer/jeer at Kitty, causing said cat to rather-understandably-furiously slap him right across his ugly, stupid-looking and downright-freakishly large-chinned face using the palm of her right hand and then also-furiously yell “say something that is THAT freaking insensitive directly to me again; I DOUBLE-dog dare you, you utterly detestable jackass” at him in response. Surely enough, Eustace’s response to Kitty giving him said extremely deserved punishment/warning was to simply shrug his shoulders and “cluelessly” ask her “what did I do?” while she just exasperatedly mask-palmed herself using her left hand in response to said response.

“Eustace, let me tell you something right here and right now; as someone who quite-unfortunately KNOWS how utterly hideous your mother looks AND acts, I STILL am absolutely disgusted by the mere thought of her being kissed by a mouth that utter filth such as what you’ve just said to a certain incredibly lovely and fascinating new guest of ours comes out of. For the love of Christ, man, PLEASE apologize for how unbelievably rude you’ve been to Kitty before I end up having to do so for you.” Muriel rather-angrily crossed her arms over her chest and surprisingly-sternly told Eustace, who simply continued reading his newspaper and snarled “MAKE me” at her in response.

“HMPH! You know what? FINE! I will! Have fun having an early bedtime, mister!” Muriel, having officially lost every last bit of her patience with Eustace, frustratedly yelled at him as she suddenly leapt onto her feet, tightly grabbed him using both of her hands, and then finally began carrying him into her/his bedroom (which, of course, was upstairs) with remarkably impressive speed...with him rather-hilariously complaining about how he was being forced to read his newspaper from an angle that wasn’t the one that he was used to reading it from as she did so, predictably enough. Needless to say, Muriel and Kitty both remarkably-intensely rolled their eyes in response to said complaint.

“Alright, Kitty; Eustace and I are going to sleep now! Please feel free to use the bed in our attic if you’re planning to take a good, long nap yourself, okay?” Muriel called out to Kitty from within her/Eustace’s bedroom as Kitty (who had just followed Muriel and Eustace up the stairs that led to both said bedroom and said attic) answered her by rather-unenthusiastically saying “OKAY” and then immediately locking herself into said attic for a good old-fashioned (and also quite literal) cat nap.

“Courage, I swear to God; if you have even been THINKING about using my brain as a porn machine with which you can jerk off to my EXTREMELY private memories of me and Bunny tongue-kissing and fucking each other, I am going to make said brain electrocute you SO GOD-DAMNED HARD THAT-” Kitty sat down on the left side of her new bed (with her feet touching the floor of the attic as she did so, of course) and increasingly-angrily began explaining to Courage until said dog (who, surely enough, had already completely recovered from his previous electrocution by Kitty’s brain) very-abruptly cut her off.

“Okay; firstly, I don’t even freaking HAVE a penis anymore...and secondly, just for the record, you definitely ought to know how utterly invincible this show’s cartoon logic makes me by now! Electrocution barely even hurts me at ALL, ya FOOL!” Courage (who, naturally enough, had already reached and activated the primary “brain control” center in Kitty’s frontal lobe) exasperatedly face-palmed himself using his suddenly human left hand and then rather-indignantly explained to Kitty using her Central Nervous Super-Computer’s “Inner Voice” microphone (which he was holding with his also-suddenly-human right hand) as he seatbelt-securedly sat on her brain’s cockpit/commander chair and increasingly-impatiently waited for the “memory bank(s)” feature of her aforementioned CNSC to FINALLY finish loading itself.

“Okay, fair enough...seriously, though, what ARE you doing in there?” Kitty somewhat-boredly rested her face on the palms of her hands and somewhat-nervously asked Courage while said dog took a good, long look at the beautifully neuron-and-synapse-loaded upper regions of her brain’s interior just to sarcastically whisper “yeah; CLEARLY not powerful enough of a brain for its owner to be able to guess what I’m trying to do with it without me having to tell her” to himself. As he clearly had already told Kitty, he wanted to find out what was causing her psychological issues and then deal with said thing(s), and there was absolutely nothing that would/could enable him to do such a thing more effectively than said woman’s memory bank(s)...or so Courage thought, at least.

“Searching your memories for properly fleshed-out details about the cause of your current psychological issues, of course! Honestly, what ELSE would I be doing in here right now?!” Courage threw his left arm out beside himself and frustratedly yelled at Kitty...then suddenly flinched and gasped in surprise (while Kitty herself also did so) as said woman’s CNSC suddenly revealed its ACTUAL (extremely stereotypical British) voice to the two of them. Thankfully, however, said computer turned out to be every bit as eager to finally get to the bottom of what was causing Kitty’s increasingly severe mental issues as Courage himself was.

“Oh, I don’t know, my fuzzy little canine FRIEND; perhaps you would prefer to ACTUALLY experience the source of the rapidly worsening mental illness that Kitty currently is suffering from rather than simply READING about it like a total freaking pansy?” Kitty’s CNSC incredibly-condescendingly suggested/explained to Courage, causing said dog to rather-angrily growl at him (while Kitty just bewilderedly looked back and forth around herself due to being completely unable to believe the fact that her brain actually DID, as she and Courage had just found out, literally have its own voice) in response.   

“Now WAIT a minute, Remarkably Impertinent Brain Scrutinizer (RIBS) of mine; I thought that my brain’s operation rules explicitly stated that-” Kitty inquisitively pointed her left index finger straight up into the air and rather-confusedly began explaining to Mr. RIBS....until said computer decided to abruptly cut her off yet AGAIN, of course.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing a cranial guest who has proven himself/herself to be as well-intentioned as this ‘Courage’ fellow to explore the actual innermost depths of this lovely little noggin of yours, also known as your dreams, in order to genuinely discover what it is like to be in the type of situation that you were in when Mad Dog aforementionedly threatened to murder you; wouldn’t you agree, darling?” Mr. RIBS explained to Kitty in what rather-clearly was absolutely THE most insufferably smarmy and teasing way that he was capable of, causing the pupils of the actual eyes behind Kitty’s mask to shrink to quite-nearly microscopic sizes as she then proceeded to rather-understandably-horrifiedly faint onto the new bed that she had already been sitting atop from the mere thought of yet another dog entering her mind after what some of the other dogs that she had met had done to it. Needless to say, she incredibly-conveniently fainted into a perfect face-up sleeping position while also instantly slipping into unconsciousness...as for her subconscious, however, THAT part of her mind still remained VERY active (in fact, it actually became MORE active) and was easily powerful enough to keep her CNSC turned on even without the other parts of her brain being active.

“MAN; it sure is an awfully good thing that this chair that I’m sitting in right now has a SEATBELT, isn’t it?” Courage chucklingly pointed out to Mr. RIBS as he returned Kitty’s “Inner Voice” microphone to the receptacle in which it belonged and then briefly looked down at the back of her brain just to see how long of a drop there actually was between said chair and said “brainus”. Meanwhile, surely enough, Mr. RIBS was already busy setting up an absolutely perfect Mad-Dog-related nightmare for Kitty to experience during her nap so that Courage would indeed be able to directly see/experience the absolute “Hell on Earth” that Mad Dog and his minions had put Bunny and said cat through.

“Hmph...to be quite honest with you, you’re probably going to wish that YOU actually did have the BALLS to kill yourself by the time you finally escape from the quite literal nightmare that I’m about to send you into!” Mr. RIBS remarkably-sadistically laughed at Courage’s expense as he suddenly opened his glove box using his “mind” and then immediately shot out an inexplicably adjustable-sized “dream-entering” helmet (that was connected to a giant mechanical tentacle) from said glove box. Before Courage could even wrap his head around exactly WHAT was going on, said head of his had already gotten said “dream-entering” helmet quite-firmly plopped onto itself.

As Courage’s actual body suddenly became downright-hilariously cross-eyed (and also forgot how to not droolingly stick/dangle its tongue out of its mouth) due to the “dream-entering” helmet’s effects on it, his astral body immediately began flying incredibly-deeply into Kitty’s aforementioned subconscious until it finally reached the “Kitty and Bunny being brutally beaten and raped by Mad Dog and his goons” nightmare that Mr. RIBS had been talking about. Needless to say, Courage really was in for one hell of a night (and definitely NOT in a good way, let me tell you).  


  

  

 
 



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