Love and Pancakes

BY : Darkwolves
Category: +M through R > RWBY
Dragon prints: 1017
Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY and I make no money by writing this.

Disclaimer: Contains some accidental injuries caused during sex portrayed for comedy purposes. There is no deliberate intent to harm, no lasting injury, no blood or description of significant injury beyond a few marks/welts and some bruised egos (Thank you Aura). Such acts should not be repeated in real life as the end notes will helpfully elaborate on.

Being the Head Physician at Beacon Academy meant Dr Fredricka Marsh had seen her fair share of injuries during her time. The most common were the result of training accidents, the usual cuts, bruises, sprains and the like. Other times she might be called upon to give advice on coping with stress and mental health, both related to school life and experiences from their work as Huntsman. After facing all of that with the same care and professionalism there really wasn’t much left in the medical world which could surprise her. Or so she had assumed.
Whilst in the middle of her usual morning ritual of correspondence and coffee Dr Marsh was summoned by an emergency call from one of the junior doctors to advise on a patient. Fearing the worst Dr Marsh abandoned her response to the Beacon fancy dress gala and made best speed from her office towards the treatment wing.
Arriving in the assigned treatment room she was met by one of the junior physician, a young faunus male from Mistral, who gave the immediate impression that whatever the issue was it was beyond his expertise. There were two patients, both of whom Dr Marsh was familiar with. 
The first was Nora Valkyrie, who Dr Marsh remembered as a regular attendee to the medical practice given her penchant for exuberant combat training landing either herself, her opponent and on one occasion a bystander a visit to the treatment room. The other patient was Lie Ren, another familiar face if only due to his position as Nora’s point of contact.
Based on her initial diagnosis Dr Marsh could see that Nora had suffered light burns across a lot of her face, although not significant enough to require a full dressing. Additionally, a sizeable welt marred the top of her head. Ren’s injuries seemed a little more localised but no less severe, as Dr Marsh discovering him holding an ice pack tightly to his groin.
As the initial treatment appeared to have been applied appropriately, Dr Marsh was left to wonder exactly what about this situation constituted an emergency summons. Still, she knew that this junior doctor was not the type of person to panic under pressure or summon her unnecessarily. Dr Marsh decided to progress with her usual opening remark “What seems to be the problem?”
The momentary glance between the two patients told her this was going to be a long story.

***************Earlier that Morning***************

Nora Valkyrie awoke with a groggy moan. Despite being a seemingly perpetually overexuberant bundle of excitement mornings simply weren’t Nora’s thing. At least until she got going that is. But for that, she needed something to kick start that whole process, something to get her going, something like-
Her mind was instantly alert to the sweet smell of breakfast. Without a hint of fatigue, she leapt from her bed with little regard for her teammates still slumbering across from her and charged down the corridor to the adjoining kitchen. Her mad dash was met by the most amazing sight in all the world of Remnant.
‘Pancakes! Oh, and Ren of course’
Nora soon found herself nuzzling up to her childhood friend from behind, her hands clasped tightly around his waist. “Oh, how I love you my silky, sweet, mountain of love you”
“Are you talking to me or the pancakes?” Ren asked as he tended to the pancakes unabated. 
“You, my honey soaked stack of deliciousness” Nora replied as she buried her head against his arm, not quite tall enough to reach his neck without tip toes.
“They’re not quite ready yet” Ren continued to work on the pancakes, even as Nora to hug his back like a Sloth from a tree.
“Well what am I supposed to do until…” Nora’s question trailed off as an idea entered her head.
Flagrantly disregarding the chefs aprons request to ‘Please do nothing to the cook’ Nora dropped to her knees and scurried like a hyperactive sloth to place herself between Ren and the front of the oven. With agile deftness Nora managed to flip aside Rens apron and slipped her fingers beneath the lip of his deep green boxer shorts.
“What are you doing?” Ren peered down to be met by Nora’s aqua coloured eyes staring up at him. “Just focus on the pancakes”
Rens attempts to refocus his attentions on his cooking as he felt Nora’s hand begin to trace across the length of his flaccid shaft. Nora’s familiarity with his anatomy, combined with the underlying thrill of the impulsive act soon brought him to attention.
Ren tried to maintain his composure by focussing on the pancakes, keeping them moving as they shifted about in the pan. Beneath him, Nora chose to introduce her tongue to the mix, the moistened tip following her hands as she began to spread the warm wetness up and down the length of his shaft with each motion.
Once she was sure it was sufficiently wettened Nora shifted to wrap her lips around the bulbous head, tightening her mouth as she began to suck like a most delectable treat. All the while the redheads hand continued to work its way across the length that her lips had yet to reach, her mouth shifting back and forth across the first few inches.
Nora’s mind began to flood with images of how good it would taste. How delectable the flavour would be to combine the sweetness of the pancakes with the savoury taste of Rens ‘Special Syrup’. Such thoughts spurred the redhead to even greater levels of speed and intensity, forgoing the use of her hands entirely to focus on her mouth.
The peak of his orgasm struck Ren just as he brought his wrist up to flip the pancake in the pan. The sudden jolt of his arm caused the pancake to leave the pan much faster than he had intended. Despite his best effort to shift the pan to catch the wayward pancake upon its descent he could only watch as it sailed past him.
Nora had only a fleeting moment to process the sight before the still simmering pancake slapped wetly against her scalp. The series of unfortunate events moved inexorably forwards as the Nora’s jaw involuntarily clenched, catching the full width of her best friends appendage between them.
The sharp shock of pain completely overriding any logical thought Ren could do little but watch as his muscles brought his hand, as well as the pan still grasped in it, down with a substantial force.
The howling scream from both parties was more than sufficient to rouse the rest of the dorm from the morning slumber.

***************Present Time***************

Having listened to the explanation as to the origin of their injuries Dr Marsh now understood quite why the junior doctor had decided to seek her input. 
Beyond the usual medical diagnosis and treatment the only further advice she could think to offer was to lay off the pancakes for a while. This seemed to strike Nora worse than the burns or the frying pan ever could.

This story is based on a story from a British comedian Dr Phil Hammond (Who is a real GP) that plays out as such:

A man and a woman are admitted to A&E with the following conditions. The man’s penis is bleeding heavily and practically dangling by a few bits of skin and the woman has a burn across her face and a large welt on top of her head.
Staff learned that what had happened was that the man had been making pancakes whilst receiving a blowjob from the woman. He’d gone to flip the pancakes, he’d missed, it had landed on her face… her muscles of mastication had clenched… and he’d had to hit her on the head with the frying pan to get her to let go.

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