Anon E. Mus Private Eye

BY : Magmos
Category: -Misc Cartoons > Crossovers
Dragon prints: 12511
Disclaimer: I do not own any cartoon characters that may appear, nor do I claim any affiliation with their owners, nor do I own any characters associated with them. I make no money off of this fan fiction.

Well, to say it’s been a long ass time since I uploaded something would be an understatement. Sorry about that folks, but this one took me awhile for a couple of reasons.

For one, it kinda ran away on me. Seriously, this is probably longer than most of my other fics and chapters put together because I just kept adding to it. Part and parcel with a Porn with Plot I’d assume, but I just kept getting ideas.

Secondly, this is a fic in the first person perspective. You’d think that would make writing this a bit easier, but for some reason it just wasn’t clicking that well with me. That may show up in the sex scenes, and if it does I apologize. Not used to it yet, I’ll try and do better.

Well enough of my griping, let’s get to the fap fodder!


How are ya doing? The name’s Mus. Anon E. Mus. Wonderful parents I had huh? I suppose with a name like mine, I was destined to fall into the life I live today. I’m a private investigator. Lots of people in my profession. Seems like no matter where you go in life you’ll find people who need a job done that most other people either can’t or won’t do.

We all have our reasons for taking up the job. Most are disgraced cops just looking to make a buck off of the only thing they know how to do, some are good cops who think they could do more good working closer with the public, and then you have your voyeurs who want to get paid for their fetish.

Me? Well, I’m an ex-cop. Very much a disgraced one. What happened? I’ll get to that in a bit. All you need to know right now is that I’m a detective with a very unique specialization. Toon cases.

Yeah. Toon cases. A lot of people don’t really seem to know, or want to know, but Toons will often have their own various issues that they don’t want their fans hearing about for the sake of their images. Usually involving paparazzi with private recordings, photos and the like (I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how many times I’ve had to retrieve footage of Porky Pig plowing some starry eyed intern over at Warner Bros or a recording of Donald Duck going on ANOTHER curse filled rant.), though sometimes it can be much more serious (Such as that one time Goofy Dog of all people was accused of being a spy).

Now, as far as P.I.s go, I’m both very lucky and very unlucky. Lucky in that there aren’t a lot of Toon Investigators, unlucky in that my closest competition is Eddie Goddamned Valiant. Yeah. THAT Eddie Valiant. As in the guy who broke open that Clover Leaf freeway thing. I gotta compete with THAT! Not that I hold anything against Valiant mind. The man is damned good at what he does and I respect him greatly as a peer, but fuck if that guy doesn’t make getting work a pain in the ass. That said, I do have my niche.

See, with Eddie on the case, it’s all but guaranteed whatever issue you have WILL be resolved, but with how famous he got after the Clover Leaf thing it’s ALSO a guarantee that the thing you hired him for will make the front page the next day. Eddie guarantees results, but he can’t guarantee privacy. Not much of an issue with most Toon concerns, but some things folks would rather just remain buried. Hence, that’s where I come in.

When you get right down to it, I’m a nobody in this town. After I was…released from the force the papers have little to no interest in me. Thus, when a Toon has something sensitive they need solved, they come to me.

One such case happened back in…I think it was 1962? I don’t remember exactly when, but I had been in business a short while by that point. Back then I was renting out a dinky little space in Toon Town itself that had my name and business duct tapped to the door. Heh. I always got odd looks for choosing Toon Town to open up with, but the rent was always cheap, and I always felt more comfortable there than I did in the rest of the world. Honestly, once you figured out how the rules there worked it wasn’t a bad place to live. Plus, I rather doubt I could’ve gotten away with the duct tapped sign anywhere else.

My office was a mess, same as it usually was. Newspapers everywhere, empty coffee mugs, and the like. Kept reminding myself to clean up a little bit, but it kept slipping my mind. It had been an agonizingly slow week at that point, only job I’d had was finding one of Bo Peep’s sheep. I was considering closing up shop for the day and hitting up the local watering hole when one of my first big clients came into my office.

“Excuse me,” I heard a rather lovely voice ask, “Are you Mr. Mus?”

I’d looked up from the book I’d been reading to see quite the lovely sight. First thing I noticed was purple. Lots and lots of purple. Purple stockings that seemed to double as shoes wrapped around tiny little feet, a darker shade of purple with a dress with a rather wide skirt on top of another slightly wider skirt in a shade of purple that matched the stockings, with a white collar, all draped over a somewhat on the short and petite side woman with short red hair.

 I didn’t know this at the time but she was gonna end up as one of my best and favorite clients.

“Y-yes I am Ma’am!” I stammered out. Give me a break, I wasn’t expecting anyone in the office that day, and I was still new to the whole thing. “Please, have a seat!” I gestured towards a ratty old chair that was in front of my desk, which she took with nary a look.

“So miss…” I started hoping to god I was doing this right.

“Mrs.” She corrected me. “Mrs. Jetson. Please though, call me Jane.”

Yeah. My first big client was Jane Jetson, housewife of the future. Not everyone can say this, but I am one of the lucky few to know a celebrity before she was famous.

“Well then Jane, how can I help you?”

“It’s…it’s about my co-star husband, George Jetson.” She said uncomfortably. Probably not a happy marriage if she’s referring to him like that. “You see, we have a show that’s going to be on the air soon, he’ll be playing my husband in it, and we just finished the pilot episode. We had an after party and George went missing afterwards.”

“So you need me to track him down then?” I spoke with all the confidence I had. A missing person case! That’s a career booster in a bag if I could find him!

“Oh no, we found him yesterday.” That let the air out of my parade. “It’s just; he’s a babbling mess right now! We keep trying to get him to tell us what happened to him, but all he does is babble about red and say Yooba Dooba!”

That was honestly not what I had expected to hear. A guy goes missing only to show up later, with his mind broken. It actually wasn’t the first time I’d heard of such a thing. Granted it wasn’t in any of the papers, but the grapevines I keep tend to keep me better informed. Apparently, this sort of thing had been happening for awhile now, but seeing how they tend to come back to what passes for senses around here no one seemed to care much.

“Mrs. Jetson, I don’t exactly know what to tell you, but you can rest assured that your husband will be fine soon. Then you can go back to making cartoons and…”

“This isn’t the first time!” She shouted, leaping up from her chair and slamming her hands on my desk. At my stunned silence she continued on, “This has been happening all throughout filming! George would disappear for days on end only to pop back up, and then waste MORE days trying to snap him out of it! We’re over a month behind because of this! If we don’t get this to stop the show is going to be cancelled before the first season is even halfway done!”

She just glared at me for a long moment before breaking down back into her chair, sobbing lightly. “Please Mr. Mus; we’ve already invested so much into this. I can’t just watch it all go down the tubes like this.”

Now, I’ll admit my time on the force helped harden me against good sob stories, but there’s just something about Toon women that just gets to me.

“Fine, fine.” I grumbled out in defeat as her sniffling stopped and I started shifting through the mess on my desk for my rates sheet. “It’s pretty clear there’s something going on here. Let’s just discuss payment and then we’ll…” as I said that, I looked up to see an uncomfortable look on her face and my good nature plummeted like a stone. “Don’t tell me, money issues right?” I said with no small amount of bitterness, my fingers massaging my brow.

“It’s not like that!” Jane exclaimed as she leapt up from her chair. “It’s just…we won’t actually be paid until the episode airs tomorrow. Once it does I’ll be able to pay you whatever you want!” She then ran behind the desk and grabbed my hands, staring at me in the eyes with those big eyes of hers, pleading desperately. “Please Mr. Mus! I’ll do anything!” Her eyes then lowered slightly as one of her hands went downward towards my…hoo boy. “I even have an idea about your down payment.” She said with lust practically dripping from her voice.

You remember how I said I was let go from the force? You remember how I said it was in disgrace? This is why. Toon women. I ALWAYS had a weakness for them of just about any stripe. I still can’t get over it all these years later. A promising career and a one night fling with a Toon lady turned into a goddamned circus due to some scumbag paparazzi. I don’t regret the fling mind you; just wish I had the sense of mind to close the damned blinds.

Now, some of you younguns may be wondering what the big deal was, after all these days you see Toons dating Humans all the damned time. Well, this was then, and while Human/Toon relationships weren’t ILLEGAL per say, to call them Taboo was an understatement (God help the poor souls who liked Anthro Toons like Bugs Bunny. Pretty certain more than a few of those saps ended up in shallow ditches). The reasons were long and varied, but you get the point I’m making here.

So there I was, with a rather attractive red haired Toon woman currently rubbing me to full mast in my office, while I desperately attempted to keep a clear head and focus. Sex was always nice, but I can’t buy food with it. (At least not in Toon Town. Not enough of a Human fetishist market and the ones that ARE here…well…you all know Lena Hyena right?)

“M-m-Mrs. Jetson!” I stammered out shocked out of my mind as I struggled to free my hands from her surprisingly strong grip, “As much as I would like nothing more than to continue on with this, you’re a married woman for God’s sake!”

“It’s a drawn marriage!” she shouted as her hand fumbled with my zipper.

“A what!?”

“A drawn marriage! You know, when a couple is drawn AS a couple for the sake of the show or movie?”

Yeah, bit of a shock huh? Fact is most Toon couples you see on those cartoons? All part of the show. They were drawn for each other, but actually getting them to commit to one another is a hassle and a half. Hell, the number of Toons that actually stick with their partners could be counted on a Leper’s hand.

With a firm twist of my hands, I finally yanked my hands free and quickly grabbed at her shirt clad tits, drawing a sharp gasp from the redhead.

“Alright then Mrs. Jetson,” I said firmly as I squeezed at the small breasts in my hands, “just so you know, I expect my usual going rate by the end of this, plus a little…” I tweaked her hardening nipples, causing Jane to shudder as her hands returned to undoing the front of my pants, “bonus at the end. Agreed?”

“Oh believe me Mr. Mus,” she moaned out as she unbuckled my belt and pants button, “if you can save the show I’ll be MORE than willing to give you a ‘bonus’.” As she pulled down the front of my underpants, exposing my member to the coffee and cigarette smelling air, her eyes widened in surprise.

“Bit more than you were expecting?” I chuckled as she just gazed at my dick, her hands mindlessly stroking my length as she drooled lightly.

“It’s amazing…” she muttered, “I mean, I’ve heard stories about human men, but this is just…cosmic.” She then gave my shaft a few squeezes. “I can’t even wrap my hands around this beast!”

“So, are you planning on giving me my down payment soon?”

With a smile on her face, Jane started licking the head of my shaft with her small tongue, swirling it around the head in circles before slamming her head forward, and forcing most of my shaft down her throat.

GOOD LORD but THIS is easily one of my top three reasons why I love Toon Women! No gag reflex! Human women you’d have to spend months practicing for them to do this, but Toons can deep throat a man from day one!

And what a deep throat! Jane’s mouths was practically a warm and damp blanket wrapped around my dick as she forced herself down lower and lower until her nose was buried in my pubes, all the while her tongue was rubbing and stroking on every inch it could reach that passed it. Then, Just as I thought it couldn’t get any better, she began sucking.

I really have no words to describe that feeling. Watching her cheeks cave in as it felt like she was trying to literally drain my balls, her slurping and sucking echoing through the room with each suck. It was all I could do to not just explode in her mouth right then and there.

I was about to just lean back and let her do her thing when I noticed her face. She was staring at me with those big eyes of hers, her hands resting on my thighs, and her lips were curled up as much as they could into a smirk as she watched how I took to her. Freaking a she was having a laugh at my expense with the whole thing.

With a low growl, I grabbed hold of her head to hold her to my crotch and stood up, the little minx letting out a muffled squeak of surprise as I did so. With a firm grip holding her still, I started thrusting my hips back and forth rapidly; outright face-fucking the Toon woman before me with my hips slamming against her face every time I bottomed out.

*GRKH!* *MMPH!* *Mmhmm* Jane gurgled out around my cock, her eyes closing as her hands ducked under her skirt and inside her stockings, adding a wet schlicking sound to the festivities as she started sliding her fingers in and out of her pussy.

“Oh yeah,” I moaned out, “that’s it, just sit there and take it! Take it all down your throat! I’m almost…almost…RAGH!”

I’m ashamed to admit, it didn’t really take me too long to reach my peak there. In my defense, it had been awhile, and jumping right into things like that is a surefire way to get you on a short fuse. With one final thrust, I came down Jane’s throat, firing load after load into her throat, the redhead coughing and gurgling all the while, until I finally ran out, and collapsed back into my chair gasping for breath.

Jane simply stayed on her knees, coughing and hacking, purely for effect (I’ve seen land dwelling Toons live underwater for weeks, I KNOW they don’t need air) As she “cleared her windpipe, she simply stood back up and stared at me with a smile that started to put a little “spring” back into my step again.

“Well then Mr. Mus, do we have an arrangement?”

“Yeah.” I gasped out. “Yeah we do.”

“Wonderful!” She said cheerfully as she pulled a small card out of an unseen pocket on her skirt and placed it on my desk. “George should still be in the Toon Town Asylum if you want to try questioning him, just call me at this number when you have some good news, and when you’ve solved the case I can promise you you’ll get your payment.” She then took the hand she had under her skirt and started rubbing my lips with her fingers, letting me taste her flavor. “Plus your bonus.” She added huskily. With that, she left my office without a second glance, leaving me to collect myself in more ways than one. After I’d regained my wits, and ensured I was within even Toon Town’s decency standards, I grabbed my coat and hat and left my office, my first destination already in mind.


Toon Town Mental Asylum. On the outside a dark and foreboding place, but you can rest assured that’s purely for show. On the inside it’s always been pleasant enough, always staying up to date for proper Toon Mental treatments.

Yeah, I know, I had the same first thought you did. Why would Toons of all people need a nut house? Aren’t they crazy by design? Well even the crazy can still have standards. Just look at Judge Doom or Baron Von Rotten as he used to be called. Sad tale. Used to be one of the best villain actors ever put to paper and inked, till he took a particularly bad explosion during a propaganda picture. The poor bastard went around the bend from it, and nearly wiped Toon Town off the map.

So yeah, after that the Toon’s had this place built to better make sure all of their wires aren’t too crossed after a bad stunt. As you’d imagine, they get a fair amount of business.

As I entered into the main reception area, I was greeted by a lot of white walls with a matching floor and ceiling, blue furniture, some singing plants and…

Oh good lord that’s Swing Shift Cinderella in a nurse outfit. A very tight nurse outfit with a very short skirt and a white cross on her cap with white stockings covering her legs.

At the sound of the door closing behind me, the gorgeous redhead looked up to see me, and a spectacularly harsh glare set upon it. “Oh, it’s you,” She spat in contempt. “What do you want Anon? Here to check yourself in?”

Yeah, time for a bit of a personal history lesson. Cindy and me, we had a thing a bit back. It was mostly just fun times, but it was getting a little serious near the end till I screwed it up. What was supposed to be a night in between the two of us turned rather ugly when I ended up fucking a different girl. Specifically, Her twin sister Red Hot Riding hood.

What? Yeah, those two are twin sisters. Red’s older by about two years, but given how Toons operate that’s actually fairly normal for twins. Trying to guess which one in what cartoon after their first pictures is STILL a fun party game around here. In my defense, the only way to tell them apart is with their clothing (Red likes red, and Cindy prefers white) and neither of us were dressed when I screwed up like I did. Still, Cindy never really forgave me for that.

“Not today Cindy,” I said hoping to diffuse a potential situation. “I’m here for a case actually. Do you have a George Jetson staying here?”

Cindy just let out a snort as she started flipping through some papers at her desk before grabbing it and a clipboard, the latter of which she handed to me. “Sign in here, and follow me when you’re done.” As I put the pad down with my name on it, she stood up and with a downright hypnotic hip swing to her step she led me inside.

The halls of the hospital were filled with doors, which led to various rooms with various occupants being checked out for whatever ailments they may be suffering from. What? Were you expecting something interesting, like how their treatments differed from ours? I don’t have a damned clue what those would be. I ain’t a shrink, and most of this stuff goes over my head to begin with. Most interesting thing I can say about the halls was that a number of the rooms looked reserved for potential regulars.

Plus, Cindy was keeping most of my focus there. Good gravy, but that outfit looked almost as good on her as her singer outfit did. The woman had curves in all the right places and they were MORE than generous, legs that went on for days and wrapped in white stockings and what looked to be a garter belt by all accounts, a face that would turn Leonardo straight, and a voice that  always made me stand at attention if you get my meaning. Good lord, but I never stopped kicking myself for ruining what we had then.

“So, Cindy,” I started, hoping to break the silence a little, “how have things been going with you lately?”

She was quiet for a moment before speaking up, I guess out of not wanting to put up with the quiet herself. “Well enough I suppose. MGM is working on getting Red and my old cartoons. Of course SHE won’t stop lording it up how all of HER cartoons get to air, while one of mine got cut!”

Well, that was certainly a surprise to hear. “Really? Which one?”

“Uncle Tom’s Cabaret. I know Tom and the others were just as irritated as I was.”

Now there’s a crying shame right there. I wouldn’t go about calling that flick a classic, but I’m always a sucker for good wild takes. Plus, Cindy was downright hot in that southern belle dress they had her wear.

Unfortunately for our conversation, we reached the end of our line at a door with a series of numbers on it. She then rapped on the door, and slid open the eye screen. “Mr. Jetson, you have a visitor.” No response. She then gestured to the door. “Good luck Mus, he’s been like this since we got him.” She then stepped away from the door so I could have room.

Looking inside, I saw a room, the walls and floors padded a fair bit, nothing really much to say there. In the center though, was a Toon male. Average Human male height I’d assume if he wasn’t sitting down, fairly skinny aside from his torso and midsection, short red hair (Jesus, but I’m meeting a lot of redheads today), comically long nose, head that merged into the neck, all wrapped up in a pretty little straight jacket on top of one of those medical smock things.

“George?” I said, hoping to get his attention. “George Jetson? My name is Anon Mus. I’m here to help.” Still nothing. “Jane sent me. You remember Jane?” Not a peep. Damnit. Seeing a brick wall, I shut the slide and turned back to Cindy.

“There any chances you could let me in there to take a closer look at him? Talking’s getting me nowhere.”

The look Cindy gave me at that moment almost perfectly matched the one she had when she caught me and Red. “You MUST be joking,” she snarled through sneering lips, “Letting you in without a doctor would break all kinds of rules here Mus!” She turned on her heel and started marching off away from the door, dragging me with her left hand now grabbing my jacket. “If you will come with me Mus, you can visit the patient during regular visiting hours!”

This was bad. I had no idea if George was going to be cooperative when I got here during visitor’s, and every second he was here was another chance of a clue of some sort being lost forever. I had to do something to convince Cindy to loosen up on the rules here.

Suddenly, it hit me. Without a second thought I quickly grabbed hold of the sexy red head before me, one hand wrapping around her waist while my other arm wrapped around her chest, grabbing hold of one of her more than generous tits, her nurse’s hat falling off from the sudden motion revealing  her hair which just barely brushed my chin.

“ANON!” she shrieked indignantly, “What the hell do yoooh…” anything else she had to say faded away as my hand on her chest began squeezing the tit flesh through her nurse’s blouse, while my other hand started rubbing her lower lips through her skirt.

One of the best things about Cindy? Despite how cool and collected she was in her films, it wasn’t hard to get her motor going almost as bad as Wolfy’s, and once she got going she was much more agreeable to my ideas as long as she could get off. Yeah, I’m a type of scumbag for taking advantage of her like this, but it wasn’t like I did this sort of thing on a regular basis with her, and it’s not like I ever left her wanting.

“C’mon Cindy,” I whispered to her as she squirmed in my arms, “I’m not asking for much here am I? Just a quick pop in to see if he’s got any clues on him still.” I ground my slowly growing erection against her ass, causing her to shudder. Heh. Nice to see some part of her missed me too.

“B-bastard,” she stammered out as her knees shook and fluids dripped down her thighs, “fine! You get five minutes, then your ass is mine, got it!?” She then handed me the keys to George’s cell and collapsed to her knees as I let her go. I opened up the cell and went inside.

Up close, I can honestly say George was a lot worse than I expected. His hair was a dishelved mess and sticking up everywhere, he had a beard starting to form, and the smell was…well…bad would be an understatement, but I can’t really think of anything else to describe it. What bothered me most though were his eyes.

Now, I’d seen a lot of Toon eyes in a lot of states. Normal, greedy, love struck, but this was weird. George’s were unfocused. As if he was miles away mentally. I honestly don’t think he was even aware that he was in a padded room right now.

Lacking any other ideas at the moment, I tried speaking again.

“Hello George. I’m Anon Mus. Can you hear me now?”

To my surprise, he actually spoke up this time.

“Yooba…dooba…” he said quietly, barely more than a whisper.

Great, he’s still completely out of it. I snapped my fingers in front of his face which seemed to focus him somewhat. “C’mon Georgie boy, need you to focus here. Who did this to you?”

His face then took on a dreamy, love struck smile as his eyes unfocused again. “R-r-red…” he groaned out.

Well that’s just great, unless Cindy’s sister had suddenly decided to start lashing out at TV Toons, I had no idea what to make of this idiot’s ramblings. At least until a rather disturbing thought entered my head. With no other theories available I lifted up the front of George’s medical smock and looked at his junk.

Time for a Toon Anatomy lesson, that Paddy Cake thing Toons do as a replacement for sex? Not necessary for all Toons. General rule of thumb is that if a Toon wears clothes, they have all the parts a human does, but if they don’t then chances are they don’t have em. Now, before you get any thoughts on the subject, ALL Toons get enjoyment out of Paddy Cake. Some more, some less, but it’s pretty much a universal kink. That said though, if a Toon has the parts, they CAN do it like Humans.

As an added bit of fun, that Marvin Acme guy? Even among Toon fetishists, he was considered a huge freaking weirdo for his obsession with Paddy Cake over regular sex. Yeah, he got off on that. Don’t ask me how, no one knows.

So why is this important, and why am I looking at another man’s twig and berries? Simple, Toons generally stick with Paddy Cake, and it’s for a reason. It’s not hard to over stimulate a Toon brain and cause em to go batshit, with a prime example being Roger Rabbit and how he took to strong booze. Same thing applies to a good fucking really. Most Toons can’t handle getting laid on a regular basis; it fries their brains out something fierce if they overdo it. (Oddly enough, I’ve found this doesn’t really apply to lady Toons. I’d chalk that up to the fact their creators are generally VERY lonely men stuck in a room with nothing but other guys and their own imaginations, so they put that much more effort and energy into their mental stability.)

Turns out, I was right on the money. George’s equipment had the telltale sign of being…overused to put it bluntly. Won’t go into details, but it wasn’t a pretty sight, though he would recover. With nothing else to note, I dropped the cloth and restored the man’s semblance of dignity and stood back up.

I was about to up and leave when I noticed a stray hair on George’s head. Now, most people would’ve just written it off, but when you’re around Toons as much as I am you tend to notice small details about them. In this case, a strand of hair that was too long, and the wrong shade to be his hair. Thankfully, I always keep a few evidence baggies on me for just such an occasion, and with a little cajoling to get it inside the bag, I was on my way back out.

At least until the door shut behind me, whereupon I quickly found myself being drug around by a spectacularly irate Cindy who quickly hauled me into another cell and tossed me face first onto the padded floor inside.

I turned onto my back and was greeted by the sight of Cindy closing the door behind her, her face looking manic as she then leapt on top of me, pinning me to the ground.

“Now then,” she hissed out as she began grinding her crotch against me, “time to pay what you owe me Anon!” She then mashed her lips to mine, her tongue attempting to force it’s way into my mouth before I just let it in, the fleshy organ wrestling with my own while she moaned in bliss.

After a minute of that she rose back up, freeing my arms and letting me breath again. She started trying to unbutton her blouse, but in her haste to get it off her fingers kept fumbling with them. Finally, with a quick scream of frustration, she simply tore the top open, sending buttons flying and revealing her, frankly magnificent, tits clad in a sheer white bra.

Since I had more movement afforded to me I moved myself upward, putting myself at eye level with her breasts. I then reached up, grasped each of the cups of her bra, and with one strong pull I yanked the cloth off of her chest, exposing her glorious mountains, topped with tiny pink nipples.

Without a second thought I quickly leaned forward and latch my lips onto her right nipple and started while my left hand started massaging her left breast as my right hand reached around her back and pulled her closer to me, letting my face press into the flesh of her bright breast. All the while Cindy squirmed and moaned in my lap.

“God I missed this Anon,” Cindy moaned as she stared pulling her skirt up, completely exposing her stocking clad thighs, garter belt, and white lace thong ass. She then began grinding against me, making me VERY aware that she was practically dripping down there. “Heaven knows I’ve tried Toon men, but there’s just something about humans that really gets me going. Ah!” She let out a sharp gasp as the hand that I had wrapped around her back had moved down to grope at her firm ass.

I then felt her arms wrap around my head as she let out a little chuckle. “Naughty boy.” She whispered to me. Suddenly I found myself being forced back down to the ground, the nipple in my mouth being stretched from my suction before I let go. Looking up at Cindy’s face, I was struck dumb by fear of the look she had. The last time I saw her give me that smile, my pelvis bones needed to be reset.

Without a word between us Cindy stood up, making sure I was always pinned under her feet (Freaking Toons man, only as heavy as they want to be). She then turned around so that her ass was pointed at me, and slid her panties down, bending over so that she made sure I was getting a wonderful view of her ass as she did. When she reached her feet, she lifted one leg out of the thong and then swung the other leg out, tossing the soaked cloth across the room. She then quickly dropped onto my face, her cunt smearing juices on me.

“Come on then Anon,” I heard her growl out as she ground against my face, “show me how much you missed me! Maybe I’ll let you get off if you do a good job!”

Lacking any other options, not that I wanted any honestly, I reached out with my tounge and started licking at her pussy lips, gently stroking the sensitive flesh and causing Cindy to shiver around me. Round and round I went, never leaving the ring her lower lips made, knowing from experience this always drove Cindy nuts.

The effects were pretty apparent even from my rather limited perspective. I could feel Cindy squirming around on top of me, trying to get my tongue to stop teasing her, her breathing becoming more rapid as sweat stated forming on her skin.

“Come on you bastard,” I heard her growl in frustration as she shifted her hips in an attempt to get me to start licking inside of her, “quit teasing me already!”

Taking pity on her, I slid my tongue into her depths, swirling and sliding inside of her, causing her to stop squirming and instead stand almost ramrod still, her only movement being her shuddering as her fluids practically flooded out of her, gasping and moaning all the while.

You know what’s funny about Toon girls? Well, a lot of things actually, but in this case it’s the fact that they all have different flavors in this regard. No idea if it applies to human women, but Toon women always differ in the flavors of their juices. As in, they taste like something you’d actually WANT to have on your taste buds. In Cindy’s case, the taste was strawberries.

Anyway, with Cindy being too focused on my ministrations to keep my arms pinned I quickly put them to better use. I started by moving my hands up to the top of her thighs, slowly and gently stroking the smooth animated flesh. I then moved one of my hands more to the inside of the thigh, and slowly increased the length of each stroke until my fingers were gently stroking her clit. As I heard her hiss through her teeth I knew I had her. With a simple pinch, I felt her go completely stiff before she came. Hard.

“OH WALT YESSSSS!” She shrieked as she basically drenched my face with her cum. She then collapsed forward towards my legs, gasping desperately for breath. Given the opportunity, I tried to get out from under the redhead sexbombs above me, only to quickly find myself with my head trapped in a leg lock and Cindy chuckling.

“Now now Anon,” she said mockingly as I felt her undoing my belt, “I’m not done playing with you just yet!” I then felt her undoing my pants before yanking them and my boxers down to my own thighs, giving my erection some much appreciated freedom. I then felt her slender fingers gently grip my shaft and begin stroking it up and down.

Oh crud, I already had an idea of what she had planned. Cindy was always many things, spirited, strong willed, very loving, and spiteful. She ALWAYS loved giving people a taste of their own medicine, and she HATED when I teased her the way I did.

My fears were soon confirmed as I felt her grip loosen and her fingers slid off my dick until only her fingertips were just barely stroking me up and down. She then leaned forward, just enough so that I could feel her breath on it.

“Come on Cindy!” I pleaded, desperately trying to keep my hips from bucking and show her how much I REALLY needed more, “I know I did you wrong, but this isn’t right!”

Cindy just let out a little chuckle as she started lightly swirling circles on the tip of my dick with her pinky finger. “Oh I don’t know Anon. Seems pretty right to me.” She then blew lightly on the head, causing my dick to twitch lightly. “After all those months after I caught you and Red, and not even a phone call to apologize, I’d say you’re owed this much.”

“I thought you needed some time to cool off!” I shouted in my defense. “I mean, I slept with your sister for crying out loud!”

“Oh please,” I heard Cindy mutter, “I forgave you both for that long ago. I know you couldn’t have known it wasn’t me, and I can hardly blame Red for taking a chance to enjoy this wonderful thing.” I felt her start slowly rubbing a finger up and down my shaft. “But to just run away like you did? That hurt Anon. That really hurt.”

Needless to say, I was feeling quite scummy at that point. “I…I had no idea Cindy. I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

I could practically FEEL her smirk at that. “You tell me Anon.” I then felt her full lips pressing against the base of my cock in a light peck, then another peck slightly higher, more and more, higher and higher, leaving lipstick marks as she went, until she reached my tip. There she administered a rather long and sloppy kiss, moaning all the while. After a while, she finally broke the kiss with a loud moan, a trail of saliva connecting her lips to my cockhead.

I then felt Cindy pull my dick downward so that it was pointed towards my stomach. She then began licking the thing up and down, but where her fingers were teasing, her tongue was much more direct and aggressive, slurping all the while. She then began alternating her licks with sloppy kissing, her saliva making my dick sheen in the low light of the cell. She then rose up enough to let it go upright again.

She then puckered and pressed her lips against the head again, but as they touched her lips opened just enough to slide the head into her mouth. What followed was pure bliss as she gently sucked on the head, swirling her tongue around it all the while. She then slowly began sliding down my shaft, her tongue stroking every inch it could as it went deeper down her throat until she finally came to a stop at the base, her nose buried in my balls.

“Mmmm…”I heard her moan, the vibrations in her throat causing me to hiss and shiver from pleasure. Quite frankly, I’m pretty certain the only reason I didn’t jizz in her mouth by that point was because of Jane’s ministrations earlier that day. After a rather agonizing moment she stopped and started pulling back up just as slowly as she went down, sucking hard with loud slurping the entire way until the head left her mouth with a small pop. She then started moving back down, sliding it back into her mouth, this time at a faster pace.

Over and over she repeated the process until she finally just started face fucking herself on me, moaning every time she bottomed out. “Mmm” *Schluf* *Schorf* “Mmm” *Suck* *Slurp* “Mmm” Finally I just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Cindy!” I groaned out, “I’m cumming!”

At hearing that, Cindy all but slammed her face into my crotch, and with a loud groan from me, my hips jerked upward as I shot wad after wad down Cindy’s throat, all the while she worked the muscles there to squeeze me more as she gulped it down, making sure she drained me as much as she could. Finally, my seed tapered off, and she finally pulled herself off of me. She then finally released her leg lock on my head and stood up long enough to turn around and sit back down on my, straddling me and insuring that my now deflated member was constantly rubbing up against her now dripping and near volcanic snatch.

“Well Anon,” she whispered as she began unbuttoning my shirt, “how did I compare to Red?”

Sultry little minx. As if there were any real comparison. (And even if there was, would YOU tell her in this situation?)

I just smiled and grabbed her by the hips and started moving her, grinding her against my rapidly re-hardening dick. “Cindy, there’s no comparison, you’re easily the better between you and Red.”

Oh how I would regret saying it like THAT later on in my life.

With a smirk, Cindy rose up and placed the head of my dick under her. “Good answer,” she purred. She then dropped herself down, completely engulfing my member in her hot velvet folds in one go, throwing her head back in an ecstatic groan. Good LORD but the feeling of being inside a Toon woman is something I don’t think anyone can really get tired of! See, Toon ladies have a control over their bodies that most women just don’t and can’t have.

In this case, the moment Cindy’s hips hit my own I could feel her pussy begin outright massaging my dick! I was basically getting a hand job while fucking a girl. Let’s be honest, you aren’t getting that sort of treatment outside of Toontown.

Cindy then began rotating her hips, grinding against me with every motion causing me to groan along with her. She then placed her hands on my chest and rose up, slowly again, before dropping down again, drawing a sharp gasp from her and causing her breasts to bounce from the sudden drop before repeating the process over and over, picking up speed and causing her tits to shake and bounce wildly.

“Oh yes!” she screamed, “Oh I missed this Anon!” She then grabbed my hands and forced them to her breasts, which I quickly began groping and squeezing. ”C’mon, put some effort into it!”

Oh, I’ll put some effort into it. The second she came back down I dropped my hands to her hips and flipped us around so that she was under me, her face looking quite shocked for a moment before I began thrusting into her. Her eyes shut as she just laid back and enjoyed the ride.

I started gently, just sliding back and forth as the two of us just enjoyed feeling each other again. Before too long though, Cindy moved one of her hands to my ass and gave it a light slap, encouraging me to go harder. With the go ahead given I started thrusting into her, harder and harder, causing her breasts to bounce and jiggle wildly from every impact. Her pussy walls constantly squeezing and pulling my member to try and keep me inside her.

“OH YES!” Cindy screamed as she wrapped her arms around me, “DON”T STOP ANON! I’M ALMOST…ALMOSTMMMPH!”

I quickly locked my lips onto hers, desperately trying to keep her quiet. These are thick walls and all, but life has taught me you can never be too careful in this regard. Before much longer I came as well, firing round after round of spunk deep into her depths.

Not ashamed to admit that I ended up collapsing onto Cindy after I came down from that high. You go through all that and tell me how well you’d be doing after. Cindy, bless her heart, all she did was laugh and rub my back as I caught my breath. I then heard Cindy let out a chuckle. “Good to know I can still knock your socks off Anon.”

I smiled as I nuzzled Cindy’s neck. “What can I say? You just know me so well.” A thought mixed with a bit of hope went through my head. “Hey, Cindy…if you’re not busy later on, do you want to…”

“Shh”. She shushed me. “Not…not just yet Anon. I’m not quite ready to give us another shot just yet.” She then grabbed hold of my shoulders and flipped us over so that she was straddling me again, and staring right at me with a rather sly smirk on her face. “Though that doesn’t mean I’m against us keeping a much more casual sort of thing and seeing where things go from there.” She then began grinding against me. “Now c’mon Anon, I know you have at least one more good round in you!”

The big downside of Toon partners? You will NEVER outdo them in stamina. Don’t even bother trying, I can guarantee you that better people than you or I have died doing just that.


A fair long while later, as I left the asylum, a thousand thoughts were racing through my head, primarily thoughts of potential suspects. Amazing what getting laid can do for one’s mental faculties. If, like Jane thought, this was being done to sabotage the show then the most likely perp would be from one of the older generations of Toons. Yeah, you can go on about how you expected Toons to get along great, and for the most part you’d be right, but schisms can still appear pretty easily from one generation of ‘em to another.

It all stated as colored Toons started getting big, like Technicolor not…never mind. Anyway, a lot of the first gen Toons carried no small amount of bitterness over losing out to these new guys with their fancy multi color inks, but that faded relatively quickly. Heck, more than a few ended up getting paint jobs of their own in order to stay current. Probably helps that most of their problems were with the old Hayes code. Betty Boop could talk your ear off about the headaches THAT group caused her.

Then television got big and Bill Hanna and Joe Barbara came into the scene. Now, I have no small respect for those two. They were EASILY some of the biggest geniuses of their craft, but their Made For TV Toons pretty much flipped the table on inter Toon relations. Cartoons just weren’t being played in movie theaters anymore, and most of the current guard were just too expensive to work with the more limited budgets TV had to offer. So along came those two with cheaper alternatives, and just like that huge swaths of Toons were now completely out of work. Warner Bros, despite airing their old shows and attempting to get with the times with cheaper cartoons never quite recovered from that blow, MGM had to sell off just about everything to Hanna Barbara, and Disney had to stick to full theatrical releases until the 90’s when they found a good middle ground between quality and cost. As you might imagine a LOT of Theater Toons have a bad grudge against the TV Toons.

So, left with a suspect list that was only limited by clothed redheads and age, a list that was substantial even with those limitations, I was left with no other option but to go to the alley where George was found.


The alleyway was honestly not much to write about. Even in Toontown, if you’ve seen one back alley you’ve seen em all. Walls covered in posters, piles of trash, the sounds of cats freaking out from something getting knocked over, and the odd bit of graffiti. Only thing that made this stand out was the police tape set up and the chalk outline where George’s comatose body was found. (With the outline showing that his pants were around his ankles funnily enough.)

What? You’re shocked that Toontown has a police force? Of course they do, they just come in two varieties. You got the weasels who are corrupt bastards even after Doom and the Toon Patrol bit the big one, and the rest just plain suck at police work. I mean, a bank gets hit for over a million simolians, and then a few months later some guy starts running for a judge position and essentially buys his way into office, and no one thinks that’s a little strange? Yeah you could say the cops in L.A. should’ve noticed something but A. Most people I find generally don’t keep up with the goings on in Toontown one way or another and B. The only guy who DOES was in a drunken, depressed stupor six days out of seven back then so they at least had SOMETHING of an excuse.

A cursory look around the place didn’t turn up much, just some strewn trash. Not that I expected much anyway, give the cops in this town SOME credit, they do this much at least, so I was forced to break out the gloves and get a bit more involved.

Ugh, rooting through trash. Another wonderful high point of this damned job. If it’s not people trying to toss out evidence, or other people burying it under all kinds of nastiness, it’s just evidence that is horrible to handle in and of itself. Added fun, whoever our perp is, they clearly knew what they were doing. Pretty much everything I could find clearly belonged to George, a pair of futuristic looking shoes, blue pants, a white shirt with a propped collar, and a pair of boxer shorts with stars and rocket ships on them.

I was about to call it quits here when I noticed something odd. Underneath a trash can I saw what looked to be a long red string. I took a closer look and low and behold, it wasn’t string. It was another long lock of red hair, just like I found on George. Feeling emboldened, I lifted up the trash can and found something rather interesting.

It was a wadded up hankie. Specifically, it was a wadded up hankie with purple paint stains on it. Now, Toons don’t really tend to have fingerprints. If they aren’t wearing gloves, then they just weren’t THAT detailed. But if they grip something long enough and hard enough, then they tend to leave some paint behind them. (Yes, get your jokes in on how many times I’ve needed to clean with turpentine after a few rounds with Cindy. I can promise you it was more than a few times.)

So now I had a better idea of what I was looking for here, red hair, purple hands, and most likely female. Before I could bag up my new evidence though, I noticed something on the corner of the cloth. A little marking that was hard to distinguish, but had two letters that any Toon fetishist worth their salt would know right off the top of their head.


Looks like I was going into L.A. for a drink or two.


The Ink and Paint club. It got its start back in prohibition as a place where folks could enjoy a drink and a show with an all Toon venue. The entertainment has changed, the style has changed (pretty certain the place is being run like a Toon Hostess club now), the clientele has changed, but at its heart it’s still the same as it ever was.

 A mixture of some of my best and worst moments in life occurred in this club. Lost my virginity and my career on the same night here, met some of my worst friends and best enemies here, and found some of the best and worst drinks ever at its bar, and I still make sure I visit the place at least once a year.

So then why was I stuck at the damned door!?

“Come on Bongo!” I shouted as I pounded on the metal door before me. “I said Walt sent me! Lemme in already!” The eye slot in the top slid open, revealing a pair of bloodshot red eyes. A VERY unfriendly voice growled out soon after.

“Sorry Mus.” The gorilla in a monkey suit said from behind the metal door. “Between Valiant and you, management is done allowing you pervert P.I.s in.”

“For the love of, THAT WASN’T MY FAULT! Blame the shutterbugs working for the Reporter!”

“Sorry, outta my hands.”

The slot slid shut, leaving m alone to stew in my aggravation before I reached into my jacket for the universal key to any lock, a rolled up thing of dollars.

Another knock, a quick wave, and I was inside with a now happy Bongo, and a newfound need to see this case finished if only so that I could actually eat this week.

“Have a nice day Mus!” Bongo chortled as he flipped through the bills I’d given him. Not wanting to get on the bad side of an ape five times my body weight, I kept silent and walked forward into the main area of the club.

At the time the place was going through a bit of a beatnik theme. Toons would take the stage reading poetry (mostly dirty limericks, but a few funny poems did show up every now and again), patrons would gather in groups smoking cigarettes and sipping coffee, snapping would take the place of applause, and everyone was wearing a beret.

That said though, the place was still very much the old speakeasy. The octopus bartender was still in the back and mixing drinks, the penguins were still darting about taking and delivering orders (and before you ask, YES they still do that damned on the rocks gag), between every poetry reading there was a more “traditional” act with Toon slapstick or one of the club’s classic acts, and then there were the…

“Cigars, cigarettes?” I heard a somewhat high pitched and VERY familiar voice near me, a voice that I REALLY had no desire of meeting the owner of. “Cigars, cigarettes, ANON!?”

I slowly turned to the source of the voice, and yep. There she was. Clad in that black micro-dress, with the little garter around one of her legs, was Betty freaking Boop in the Black and White.

“Well…” she stated uncomfortably, clearly trying to avoid looking right at me, “It’s been awhile hasn’t it? Haven’t seen you since…”

“Since I was a cop, yeah.” I finished for her.

Okay, for those of you who haven’t figured it out by now, the Toon woman I was caught sleeping with was Betty. Yeah. Not ever gonna say I completely regret it, but I ain’t gonna stop ya for making fun of me for that one. Betty was a sex bomb in her heyday, and I’d be glad to give her another go, but even I have to admit she’s rather awkwardly designed. That said though, among Toon Girls the shorter ladies are a class all their own when it comes to sex.

Three words; Like, A, Vice.

“So…”I began awkwardly, “How have things been going with you?”

“Well enough.” Still not looking at me, but sounding more upbeat at least, “Still haven’t gotten any real acting work lately, but I’ve been getting requests to start moichandising!”

Really? Can’t say I ever saw that coming. “Merchandising?” I asked.

“Yeah!” She then turned to me, clearly over the initial embarrassment, “Apparently a lot of people have been buying up my old memorabilia lately, and the studio wants to try and branch out into newer items! They want me to pose for Shirts next week! Can you imagine? Me on a shirt?”

I just nodded, genuinely happy for the little lady. Seeing that she was in a cheerful mood, I opted to see if I couldn’t use her good mood to perhaps get a lead on something.

“That’s honestly great to hear Betty! Glad things are starting to look up for you! That said, I can’t say I’m here just to be here I’m afraid. I’m trying to find someone, and I think they might be here.”

Betty’s eyes widened at that. (Quite the feat considering how wide her eyes normally are) “Really? Nothing too bad I hope?”

“Oh no, no,” I lied through my teeth, “Just someone looking for a Cinderella sort of deal.”

“Really? How romantic!”

“Yeah, but pretty much all they have to go on are these items.” I then pulled out the baggies of hair locks and the paint stained handkerchief. “Any idea who these belonged to?”

The sudden downcast look Betty gave me pretty much told me she knew exactly who had these items originally, and what she said next confirmed it. “Sorry Anon, but if your client is looking for the goyil I think he is, he’s gonna be barking up the wrong tree.” She then gestured to an empty table near the stage. “If you’re really determined to find her though you might as well get settled. She’s one of the acts tonight.”

With a quick shrug of my shoulders, I thanked Betty, buying a pack of smokes along with it, and settled in for the shows.

Good lord, I have no idea if I came at a bad time or what but the poems were just absolute garbage. Not even kidding here, I was lucky if they had any RHYTHM let alone rhyming. Pretty much the only thing keeping me in my seats were the more traditional acts with the likes of individuals Woody Woodpecker and Screwy Squirrel in a “fuck the other guy over” competition. Even then, as the hours drug on and I came no closer to my perp, I was close to just leaving and trying to figure out who all was listed on the venue and working that night when I noticed something odd. Pretty much every man in the room had moved close to the stage when I wasn’t paying attention.

The music and singing that filled the area quickly clued me in on the why much to my own growing excitement.

First came the singing. Soft, and seductive, the kind of voice that could make a man hard from hearing it.

Then, up on the stage, the curtain moved slightly as an impossibly long and slender leg in a sparkling red high heel peeked out. The curtains were then flung to the sides revealing a band made up of crows, and on the center stage was her.

Jessica Rabbit.

Now look, Cindy and Red? Easily two of the hottest little numbers in Toon Town without question. Long legs, nice asses, beautiful voices and faces, large and bouncy tits, the works, but neither of them compare to Jessica, and they’d be the first to admit it. They’re smoking hot, but Jessica is pure sex.

Long legs? Jessica’s were even longer (making her taller too I should mention). Large breasts? Jessica’s were that much bigger and bouncier. Nice Ass? Jessica’s is frigging heart shaped while clothed. The faces and voices? I’ve already explained how Jessica’s SINGING can put a spring in your step, and her face is just as much a knockout as Cindy’s with the added allure of the hiding her face thing she does with her hair. Hell, even her dress is somehow more alluring, exposed back and upper parts of her breasts and the single exposed leg, and she’s actually covering more of herself than Red or Cindy do in their singing outfits!

What followed Jessica striding out onto the stage was a sight that I’ll probably carry with me to my grave. Rubbing her ass on the side of the stage as she slid down, how she strode across the stage always exposing one of her legs and sometimes raising up her skirt with her foot just a little bit, her hips swinging with every step, every little thing she did was meant to drive men wild, but none of us could really bring ourselves to move from our tables. Oh, one guy tried to get a peek up her dress, and another stood up to get a closer look, but all the former got for his trouble was getting shoved away from the stage by one of her feet, and the latter got gently pushed back down into his chair. Simply put, none of us were gonna do a damned thing that Jessica didn’t allow. It was domination without a single whip or bit of leather, I’ve never seen anything quite like it since.

Then she strode off the stage near me.

At first she just messed around with some guy next to me, pinching his cheeks in a rather mocking manner (though the sight of her cleavage as she bent over to do it…) before slowly striding over to me, and sitting in my lap (and I swear she was intentionally grinding against my erection with her ass), and slowly leaning towards me with her lips puckered up, her breath from her singing brushing against my own lips. Just as we were about to connect she pushed me back and quickly stood back up, never so much as breaking the song for even a second.

She then got back up on the stage, but opted to lay down on it in front of me instead of standing. She then reached down, grabbing both halves of my coat and drug me towards her, bringing our faces closer again, her lips almost barely touching me before she just let me slide back as she sung he final few notes of her song and strode off back to the curtains.

To this day, I’m STILL not certain what song she was singing. People tell me it was “Why Don’t You Do Right?” and I pretty much have to take them at face value on that.

“She still knows how to put on a show huh Anon?” I heard Betty say to me in an amused voice. I jumped a fair bit at that, only for Betty to laugh a bit. “I swear, she may not be too funny, but what she keeps doing to you men is always a riot!”

“Uh, she didn’t do anything!” I stammered out, not even fooling myself, “I was just faking it!” As Betty laughed harder at my expense, I settled down and tried to recollect my thoughts, which was actually rather hard to do. I kept having images flashing through my head of a scarlet temptress and all of the things I’d like to do with her. Good lord she was almost completely perfect in her design, from her green eyes to her long red…wait a second.

I pulled out my evidence baggies again and took a closer look at the hair. Not nearly as long, but that could be explained by being broken or cut by something and the shade was a near exact match to Jessica’s. I then noticed my jacket and noticed she had gripped the sides hard enough to leave paint. Dark, purple paint. I pulled up the hankie and yep. Another match in shade, and if I could get a better feel for them both I’d bet my next paycheck the texture would be an exact match.

There really was no two ways about it, all the evidence was pointing to Jessica Rabbit as the perp.

But why? It doesn’t make any sense. Granted, Roger was among those hit hard by the shift to television but he bounced back up on his feet well enough by shifting to co starring in movies with human actors, and Jessica herself was one of the bigger names to encourage getting along with the new generation of Toons. Even then, why go after the Jetsons? It would’ve made more sense to start earlier or with an older group of TV Toons like The Flintstones, and why sabotage them the way she had?

I had my perp dead to rights, but there were still too many questions that were crying for an answer. Fortunately, you don’t last as long as I have in Toon Town without being something of a quick thinker.

“Well Betty,” I began smoothly, “can’t say you were wrong there. I’m guessing you figured out those items were Jessica’s before I did huh?”

“Yep.” She stated with a degree of sympathy. “Sorry to say, your client is barking up the wrong tree. Jessica ain’t leaving Roger for nothing.”

“Sad to say you’re right.” I replied desperately hoping I wasn’t rolling my eyes at hearing that and knowing what I knew. “Still, do you think it’d be possible to at least meet with Mrs. Rabbit? I hate to come all this way just to NOT deliver the message, and I should at least get her rejection down for him.”

Betty looked reluctant at first before letting out a soft sigh. “You’re lucky you’re so cute Anon. Follow me, it’s about time for my break anyway.”

With that, I stood up from the table, and followed Betty into the employee’s area and into the backstage.


I really don’t have much to say about the backstage of the Ink and Paint. It had everything you’d think it would, sandbags, ropes with pullys, stagehands darting about with various props and the like, again, just like with alleyways, you see one you’ve seen them all. Really, the main interesting thing about the place was the number of penguins and gorillas running around.

Thankfully, it didn’t take us long to come to a series of doors, most of which were marked with stars, but one in particular stood out with a name on its star. Jessica Rabbit.

Did I really have to tell you that? The name on the star? I mean, where else was I gonna end up? In the bathroom for a crap or something? Frigging writing conventions I swear.

Anyway, Betty reached out to knock on the door, and I swear I heard something stumbling around, like something had a sudden start. Before I could think too hard on that, I heard a voice echo out from behind the door.

“Yes, who is it?”

“It’s Betty, Jessica.” The black and white Toon lady answered. “You’ve got someone here who wants to talk to you.”

A long moment passed before Jessica spoke up again from the other side of the door. “He’s not a paparazzi is he? I had enough to deal with in that regard yesterday.”

Betty let out a little chuckle. “No Jessica, he’s not. He’s an entirely different kind of scumbag!” The snort I let out at that caused Betty to erupt into more chuckles. “He’s a detective. Says he’s here representing an admirer of yours and wanted to deliver a message from him.”

Another long moment passed before I heard what sounded like a spectacularly aggravated sigh and the sound of boxes being moved around and a light spray. “Alright, I can see him.” Jessica said soon after the sounds of spraying stopped.

With that, Betty stepped around me. “Now you be on your best behavior Anon,” she said playfully, “you’ve gotten in enough hot water around here as it is.” She then strode off back the way we came. With that, I opened up the door and walked right in.


They say you can tell a lot about an actor/actress about their dressing room. Sure you’ve got things like the various knick knacks laying about, in Jessica’s case that amounted to a rather stunning level of professionalism in that all she had were various makeup kits and not much in terms of the personal touches, but the main thing to look at was the size of the room. The bigger it was, the more the establishment wanted to keep the talent the star provided.

If Jessica’s room was any indicator they REALLY wanted to keep her around. The place was easily about the size of my office, giving it room for a dresser with a large mirror that had most of the aforementioned makeup on it, a rather large bed, a loveseat, another much taller dresser, and sitting on the right seat of the loveseat with an indifferent leer in her eye was Jessica herself, now clad in a non sparkling version of her dress but still wearing the gloves and heels, one of her legs draped over the other and exposing themselves quite nicely. I could just about see the hem of her stockings when she “hemmed” herself.

“Excuse me,” she began somewhat irritated, “Betty said you had a message for me Mr….?” She let that rail off as she rotated her right hand towards me.

Jumping a bit at realizing I’d been staring, I quickly reached out and shook the long haired redhead’s hand. “Sorry about that, the name’s Mus madam. Anon E. Mus.”

She smirked at hearing that. “Well no wonder you’re a detective. With a name like yours I can’t imagine you had many options.”

I blanched a little bit. Yeah, I’ve gotten used to that joke, but by that point I was still a bit sore over it. “If I only had a dollar Mrs. Rabbit. Anyway, I’m sorry to say that I’m not actually here to deliver a message, though I AM here on a case.”

“I see,” she said warily, “and just what exactly do you want from me?” She slowly slid her left hand towards the crack in the center of the loveseat.

I quickly figured that whatever was in the crack of the couch was not likely to be healthy for me, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I panicked a fair bit. “JUST SOME QUESTIONS! JUST SOME QUESTIONS I SWEAR!” As her hand moved away from the crack in the cushioning, and my breathing started calming down, I noticed something odd about the air. I could taste a fair amount of perfume in the air, which was normal for a lady’s dressing room, but there was some odd taste that was oddly familiar. A musky taste. Weird.

“So then,” Jessica said as she leaned back in her seat and gestured to the empty spot on the loveseat which I gratefully took, “What was it you wanted to ask me?”

“Well Mrs. Rabbit, are you familiar with a Toon man by the name of George Jetson?”

Now, any cop will tell you that a big part of any interrogation, either in a precinct or in less “official” areas, is watching your perp’s body language. You’d be AMAZED at how often the average criminal gives themselves away at just the right question being asked. Now Toons are usually a bit more difficult. You never know when they’re flinching because you’ve struck a nerve, or if they’re just twitchy and prone to overacting to begin with.

Lucky for me, despite showing up in her husband’s cartoons more often than not, Jessica is not one of those Toons that are prone to overacting (Not that she doesn’t mind you, but it’s not something she does often). That question caused her eye to widen a bit before returning to its half-lidded gaze.

“I have heard of the man, but I can’t say that I’ve met him. All I know is that he’s part of Hanna Barabera’s new show. Why? Did something happen to him?”

I nodded my head. “Fraid so. During filming of the pilot episode for his show he apparently kept disappearing for days at a time, only to pop back up and with a few screws loose.” There we go, she turned her head away from me. I’m tap dancing on some nerves here. “Yeah, his wife,” another twitch, “hired me on to investigate what had been going on with him. Apparently his constant disappearances have put the show at risk of being canceled.” Oh, that was a big one. Now she’s looking at her hands. “Funny thing, when I checked him out he had all the signs of being all banged out so to speak. Distant and vacant, only repeating certain words over and over…”

She interrupted me at this point, “That’s all rather distressing to hear Detective, but what does any of that have to do with me?”

“I’m getting to that Mrs. Rabbit, you see, in my inspection of Mr. Jetson I discovered something odd. A strand of long red hair. Too long, and to different in its shade to be his own hair, and those same factors disqualified Mrs. Jetson. So I moved onto the alley where they found him originally. Whoever it was that plowed his brains out had done a pretty good job of trying to clean up any evidence they could’ve left behind, but they got a bit sloppy in hiding what they used to hide their involvement.”

At this I pulled out the baggie with the hankie made sure the purple paint stains were visible and put it close to my jacket so she could see how the colors matched. Jessica’s visible eye widened significantly at the sight. “So I have to ask Mrs. Rabbit, just why?”

Rather than say anything, Jessica instead leapt from the loveseat and started running towards the door. Thankfully, I was that much quicker and was able to leap off the seat and grab her by the waist, lifting her up and pinning her arms to her sides as I walked backwards and fell back into the seat, her ass rubbing against my crotch as she tried to squirm away from me.

Yeah, I noticed that. If you’re saying you wouldn’t you’re a damned liar.

“For crying out loud Mrs. Rabbit calm down!” I growled out. “You’re not in any kind of trouble yet! I wanted to hear just why you’ve been doing this before I did anything!”

Jessica stopped squirming in my grip and seemed to settle down. Deciding to take a risk, I let my grip loosen, and she opted to just slide off my lap and onto an open area of the loveseat, still keeping her head down and not meeting my gaze.

“I suppose there wouldn’t be any point to arguing my innocence at this point, would it Mr. Mus?”

“Fraid not Mrs. Rabbit. Not exactly a lot of redheads out there with purple. I mean, they’d accuse Mrs. Jetson since she’s the only other Toon I can think of who matches up with that description, but considering she’d be losing out big if the show didn’t go through, it’s not likely she’d be convicted of anything.”

She let out a bitter chuckle at that. “Brought low by my own paint. Betty would never let me live it down. A moment passed before she continued on, “Would you believe that I actually wasn’t trying to sabotage George’s show? Or trying to kidnap him?”

“I actually figured as such. So why did you do what you did?”

Jessica was quiet a longer moment this time before finally answering me. “Tell me Anon, how many different kind of Toons do you think there are out there?”

Can’t say I was expecting that question. “Well, I know you’ve got the comedy Toons, dramatic Toons, Toons with a focus on action and adventures are becoming more common, why do you ask?”

A rather bitter smile formed on Jessica’s lovely face. “What kind of Toon do you think I am Mr. Mus?”

That…had left me rather flabergastered I’ll readily admit. I hadn’t thought of it, but Jessica really does stand out as a sore thumb among Toons from her era. She was certainly a sex bomb in the same vein as Red and Cindy, but those two still had their moments of wackiness that ensured they were recognized as comedy Toons. Jessica had her moments yes, but most of her humor came from other’s reactions to her. She could’ve been a dramatic Toon, but Jessica’s looks were too exaggerated to take too seriously in a drama.

“I…I honestly don’t have any idea Mrs. Rabbit.”

Jessica’s smile became a bit less bitter as she leaned forward, giving me a very blatant and lovely view of her cleavage, and started crawling towards me, forcing me to lean back as she crawled atop of me. “Let me tell you Anon, I am a Toon who was meant for a more…adult audience.”

Adult? The hell did she mea…oh. Oh my.

For those of you at home, Toons are entertainers by nature and design, but what a lot of people don’t realize is that the form of entertainment differs quite wildly. Most think of them as comedians, somehow forgetting that most big name Toon productions tend to be more dramatic. Just look at old school Disney movies like Cinderella and Sno White. Family friendly sure, but by and large, not that funny. Jessica however, was apparently never created for the mainstream forms of entertainment. One meant for adult only entertainment.

Yeah. Toon porn, and if Jessica was any indicator, it was Human on Toon.

What? Are you that shocked that porn was a thing back then? Kid, every generation likes a good jerk off session, we just hid that fact more back in those days. Doubly so for something involving Toons, and TRIPLY so for that particular Taboo, at least on our end.

The thing of it all though? Toons NEED to entertain. It’s written into them. If they can’t work a crowd in their preferred manner they start going more than a little loopy. For the dramatic Toons it’s not so hard, they just have to put on a play in a park, with some even hitting up the stages, (The fairies from Sleeping Beauty actually make for a decent witch trio in Macbeth funnily enough) but porn Toons? It’s a lot harder for them to get their fix. They’ll try with other Toons, but it almost never really works. If they even have the parts, they’ll always be lacking something the other Toon needs. It’s like giving a crack addict an energy drink; it may help simulate the high, but it never reaches the full heights the addict would get from the real thing.

“S-s-so!” I stammered out, “you were made for porn!”

“That’s right.” Jessica groaned out as she reached out and started unbuttoning my shirt, “I was made for bedrooms rather literally. But ever since I married Roger I’ve tried so very,” she reached down with one hand to grasp at my quickly growing erection “VERY hard, but Paddy Cake just isn’t enough. George, he was just willing to help me scratch my itch. In fact, he was the latest in a rather long line of Toon men willing to help.”

I quickly grabbed the hand she was using to rub my pants covered shaft. “But what about your husband!? Couldn’t he help you!? I mean, you were trying so long for him right?”

Jessica paused at that, going nearly completely stiff as my words reached her ears. I was about to talk to her again when she started shaking. Before I could ask what she was doing she looked up and stared right at me with tears in her visible eye.

“No Mr. Mus. He can’t. Do you honestly think I’d be traipsing off with other Toons if he could!? Do you think I’d be risking our livelihoods and good name if he could!? He doesn’t have the parts for it!”

Well that was a shock. “Wait, but he wears pants. The overalls…”

“He didn’t always have them.” Jessica said miserably. “He got his start as an wild rabbit extra in Disney shorts, but when Warner Brothers and slapstick started getting big he opted to change his look and move into slapstick comedy.” She sniffed a bit before scowling a little bit out of what looked to be frustration, “It doesn’t really matter anymore anyway. Toon men just aren’t cutting it for me anymore! For Walt’s sake, do you know what just the scent of a human man does to me now?”

She then grabbed my hand and forced it under her dress and against her panty clad crotch, revealing to me that she was practically dripping from sheer arousal. “All I did was smell your scent back during my show, and that was enough to drive me absolutely crazy! I was masturbating when Betty brought you here!”

Well that explained the abundance of perfume mixed with the odd taste in the air.

 “I’ve been trying so hard to be good,” she sobbed rather hysterically, “trying so hard to be a loyal loving wife, but it’s no use! I am bad Mr. Mus!” Jessica sobbed into my chest. “I’m so very bad and I can’t help it! You have no idea how hard it is being a woman like me!”

Oh lord, so that explains it. Poor Jessica. I came into this expecting to find a bitter Toon with a grudge, instead I found a desperate woman in need of help. Help I was MORE than happy to provide.

Yeah, yeah, I resisted at first with Jane, but not with Jessica. Cram it, like you would do any different with that opportunity.

Without a word, I put my hand under Jessica’s chin and lifted her head up to look at me. I then leaned forward and pressed my lips against her full red ones. We stayed like that for a moment, Jessica apparently stunned at what was happening before I felt her gloved hands grab onto my head and pull me against her harder, a loud moan coming from the starlet. Before too long, I felt her tongue pressing against my lips, prompting me to part them and meet her with my own tongue, the two organs wrestling each other as soon as they met.

As this went on I could feel Jessica whimper slightly as she began grinding her crotch against my constrained erection, causing me to groan into her mouth. Seeing that she was eager to move forward, I grabbed hold of her hips and flipped us around so that she was under me, breaking our kiss in the process.

I looked down at the redhead beneath me, her lips curled up in a lusty smile as she leered at me, her more than generous chest rising and falling with every breath she took. I reached up with both of my hands and grabbed hold of her dress covered tits, causing her to gasp and archer her back. Good gravy, but even with cloth in the way, Jessica’s tits were a joy to hold. Every squeeze would cause her the cloth covered flesh in my hands to overflow between my fingers.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I grabbed the sides of the top of her dress and yanked it down with one firm pull, sending her breasts bouncing wildly for a moment before they finally settled down, jutting up without so much as a hint that they would droop to the side. I honestly couldn’t help but stare at them for a bit. Put bluntly, Jessica’s breasts were nothing short of glorious. Each one was so big that I could wrap both of my hands around one and still not cover it up, topped with bright pink nipples that looked like they were crying out to be sucked on, they were firm, yet every time Jessica took a breath they jiggled slightly.

I must’ve been staring for a bit, because the next thing I felt was Jessica’s gloved hand slapping my face lightly, her face looking quite amused. “See something you like detective?” She said as he shook her chest side to side lightly.

I just leaned forward and started kissing her again, not as deep or with tongue, instead I opted for light pecks, kisses she quickly returned, our lips smacking with every separation as her tits pressed against my chest. Eventually I began trailing down her jaw and then her neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks, Jessica shivering and moaning all the while as I went. Soon enough, I found myself at eye level with her bosom.

I then leaned forward a started kissing, sucking and licking at her right breast. There was no rhyme or pattern to it, I just wanted to taste her, feel her. I buried my face into her tit flesh just to feel her firm softness envelop me. Eventually I found myself moving towards the peak, where I found myself next to her right nipple. Again, I kissed it a few times, watching it slowly harden more and more with each peck, then I moved on to licking it, feeling the nub of flesh against my tongue before I finally latched onto it and began sucking.

My left hand meanwhile, was keeping busy with her remaining breast, groping and squeezing at it when I wasn’t pinching and squeezing her left nipple or jiggling her tit with light slaps.

Jessica was squirming under me at this point, her legs grinding together in a desperate attempt to sooth the heat in her pussy as she pressed her chest forward, mashing more of her massive breast into my face, moaning and hissing all the time. Her hands started gripping at my coat and shirt, struggling at first, but managing to get them off of me after I stopped playing with her chest and helped her, leaving my own torso bare. I quickly returned to her chest, this time focusing most of my efforts on her left side while my right hand played with her right while Jessica’s hands roamed around my naked back, rubbing and squeezing me.

“Oh yes,” she moaned, “it’s been so long since I felt a human’s touch Mr. Mus. I just can’t get over how good it feels just to feel you!”

“Call me Anon Jessica,” I muttered around her left nipple before gently grabbing it with my teeth, and pulling it upwards until I let go of it, sending her breast falling back down with a small quake. “I’d say we’re a bit past first name basis here.” I then moved my head towards the center of her chest, where I enveloped my head in between her bosoms, rubbing my head back and forth in the fleshy mountains. “Gotta say, you don’t feel too bad yourself.” I said, muffled by the softness around me.

I suppose Jessica was done playing at this point. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me off her and pushing me into a sitting position. She then moved herself so that she was straddling my legs and with one smooth and surprisingly strong jerk, swung us around so that I was sitting properly on the loveseat with her still straddling me, her legs on the sides of my own.

Her hands darted down to my pants where she quickly undid my belt and pants before pulling them and my boxers down just enough for my erection to pop out, and Jessica’s eye to widen at the sight of it.

“Oh…oh my.” She whispered as her hands gently stroked my shaft, “I never knew they could get this big…”

Not gonna lie, the fact that I could impress an ex porn Toon did wonderful things for my ego. I was riding that high all week.

“Well mine does Jessica.” I said as my hands slid under her dress and started rubbing her stocking clad thighs. “But how about we talk about that later? Pretty certain we have other matters to deal with.”

Jessica shook her head a bit to snap herself out of her daze before moving up a bit and moving her dress out of the way, revealing a pair of black lacey panties under a white garter belt connected to her stockings. She then reached down and shifted her panties out of the way, revealing her dripping wet snatch. With one smooth motion, she slid down, engulfing my member entirely in her warm depths.

“Oh yes!” She moaned out as her arms clung to me.

What happened next still boggles my mind. The second Jessica impaled herself on me she let out a loud groan and started shivering as her visible eye rolled to the back of her head. It wasn’t until I noticed that our pelvises were drenched in her fluids that I realized what happened. She came, hard, just on me entering her.

Just how pent up was this woman!?

Eventually, Jessica came down from her high and slumped on top of me, gasping for breath.

“S-sorry.” She gasped out. “It’s just been so long since I was with a human. I don’t know why, but it’s always so much more intense than with a Toon.”

I let out a little chuckle at that. “Well, perhaps you’re just drawn that way?” That crack resulted in Jessica giving me a light slap to the side of my head.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let Eddie include that bit in his memoirs.” She grumbled.

Rather than continue that line of discussion, I started grinding my hips against Jessica’s own, drawing a light coo from the Toon sexbomb in my arms. “Well Jessica, you might have gotten off here, but I’m still ready to go here.”

Jessica just nodded before grabbing hold of my shoulders for leverage and slowly rising and falling on my shaft, her breasts bouncing with every move as the sounds of her ass slapping against my thighs mixed with our own moaning and groans.

Okay, you remember how I said Cindy pussy was like getting a handjob while inside her? Jessica’s was like getting a blowjob while inside her. Every time she lifted herself up, it felt like something was sucking on me, trying to drag me upwards. Hell, I had to constantly pull my hips down to not be yanked up with her every time she went up.

“Come on Anon!” Jessica grunted out. “Really give it to me! I need it!”

Well, when a woman asks. I moved my hands to her hips and took a firm hold on them. Then, on the tip of her rising up, I thrust my hips forward, slamming myself inside her and drawing a sharp gasp out of Jessica. I then lifted her up till just the head of my shaft was in her before slamming her down again.

“OH YES!” She shrieked, flinging her head back and hopefully not attracting Bongo’s notice, “MORE ANON! USE ME! PLEASE!”

With more force I continued to use Jessica as a sex toy, lifting her up and down over and over, faster and harder with each motion, her tits bouncing wildly with ever motion, almost adding the sound of light applause from every time they smacked into each other. Eventually though, I could feel my limit approaching.

“Jessica, I’m coming!” I grunted out, trying to hold on as best as I could.

“DO IT!” She screamed, “CUM INSIDE ME! I NEED TO FEEL IT!”

With one last slam, and a loud grunt from me, I came deep into Jessica’s depths, sending the long haired redhead into spasms as she came alongside me, her arms clinging to me as she shook and quivered. Eventually we both came down, Jessica collapsing onto me with her brests being pressed flat against me, as I nearly went limp on her couch, our collected fluids pooling between us.

A few moments passed before I felt something pressing against the side of my neck. Looking down I could see Jessica moving her head up and down my neck, a soft sucking noise accompanying a soft murmur in between each noise as she went. After listening closer I realized the noise was her pecking at my neck, and the murmuring was her saying thank you in between each kiss.

Kinda ashamed that I fell asleep at that point, but given the day I’d had could you blame me? Freaking A, Cindy ALONE warranted a nap at some point


By the time I came to, I was in a rather odd situation. I was still in Jessica’s dressing room, but I was dressed and, thankfully, clean-ish, and Jessica was nowhere to be seen. That’s not to say I was alone mind, because sitting in a pair of chairs in front of me was a sight I REALLY wasn’t too eager to see. In one sat Jessica, and the other a white Rabbit with a tuft of red hair, and red overalls with patches.

You might know him better as Roger Rabbit. AKA, the husband of the woman I just plowed not too long ago. He then did something I honestly wasn’t expecting.

He smiled a very cheerful smile, reached out, grabbed my hand, and started shaking it hard enough I’m pretty certain it loosened my fillings. “P-p-p-p-pleased ta meetchya pal! How ya doin!?” he shouted out with no small amount of cheer.

“J-j-j-just  f-f-f-f-fine sir!” I stammered out through the handshake, trying desperately to keep my eyes in my head “W-w-what’s g-g-g-going on?”

Roger then went into a spiel about things with him and Jessica. Turns out, he was aware of Jessica’s…indiscretions. He knew Jessica had the issues and desires she did when they married, and while she did try and remain a loyal wife, particularly after the ugliness she’d been forced through with Maroon and the Cloverleaf thing, Roger just couldn’t provide her with everything she needed and she was suffering for it.

It turned out that Roger, not wanting to see his wife suffer, encouraged her to go looking for a “third wheel” so to speak. Someone who could scratch that itch but wouldn’t want to try and make it more than that.

It was a spectacularly weird form of cuckolding I must admit. Then again, with the whole Paddy Cake thing it was probably the equivalent of an armless man arranging for other people to hug his wife. Sure, he’d rather do it himself, but it’s not anything major.

Anyway, Jessica originally wanted to try for human men, but the only one who they could trust to keep quiet about it was already in a committed and rather happy relationship, and anyone new could be willing to sell the whole thing out to tabloids and the like. So they opted to keep it with other Toons, but that carried its own host of issues, firstly finding Toon men that had the parts, and Toon men who could hold up well under getting laid on a regular basis. Then, she found George Jetson.

George was…unique among Toons. He wasn’t a Porn Toon, but for some reason he had a resistance to that whole loopyness thing I mentioned way back, and he was apparently something of a nymphomaniac. He was sympathetic to the two, and was willing to become their third wheel. At first this seemed to work out well for all involved, but as more time went on, Jessica’s needs just grew and grew. George tried his best, but…well resistance isn’t immunity and eventually he just went loopy over and over again. There was no two ways about it, Jessica needed a human. Hence where I come in now.

“So let me get this straight,” I began, massaging my brow, “you think I’d make for a good replacement for George?”

“Well, yes.” Jessica spoke plainly. “You managed to help me deal with that issue quite well so I know you’re capable, and we all know of your own history with the tabloids so you’d be unlikely to sell this story to anyone.”

“So Whaddya say?” Roger chimed in. “You gotta admit, it’d be a sweet arrangement!”

It DID sound pretty awesome actually. A chance to fuck Jessica Rabbit on a regular basis, guilt free? Still, I could probably sweeten this deal a little bit, and help get this case a bit.

“Allright, fair enough. But I do have two caveats to add.”

“Which are?” Jessica said, suddenly all business.

“One, and this one is negotiable, Jessica signs on as my secretary. It makes sure I’m around if she needs something, and I fully admit I REALLY need a secretary.”

Jessica and Roger began whispering to each other for a bit before turning back to me.

“Deal.” Roger said. “So what’s the other thing?”

“The other thing is, you come to my office tomorrow so we can meet with Jane and clear all this up. If nothing else, I’ve got a payday waiting on this.”

Jessica sighed at that. “Fair enough. I owe her an explination and apology at the VERY least. Why tomorrow though?”

I stood up and walked towards the door with a slight wobble. “Because I’m freaking exhausted, and I’ll be amazed if I make it home. You two have a good night.” With that, I left with as much dignity I could manage.


Toon Town is a strange place when you get right down to it. I mean, think about it, this case had me discovering that a show put together by a family was put at risk because the husband was off with a sexy babe, and I’ve just put the wife and said babe in the same room together to explain the whole situation. With humans you’d expect the whole thing to descend into a catfight, chairs to be thrown, hair to be pulled, at least for someone to call someone a bitch or a whore. What I got instead was…

“You poor dear.” Jane whispered as the shorter woman hugged a teary eyed Jessica. “It’s okay, I forgive you. I know you weren’t trying to hurt our show.”

Like I said, weird.

While the tears were being shed, I went to work arranging things for my “bonus”. Not much needed really, just pulling down my bed in the wall and making sure the sheets were in order. (Swear to god, this place was BUILT for P.I.s. Toon or otherwise.) Seeing everything was in order, I walked over back to the emotional redheads and cleared my throat to get their attention.

“Ahem.” I then waved as they looked at me. “Sorry to interrupt this rather touching moment ladies, but I believe we have business to finalize.”

Jane qickly straigtened herself out. “Oh yes, sorry Mr. Mus.” She then reached into a pocket on top of her skirt (seriously, where were those things? I can’t see so much as the stitching) and pulled out a folded up piece of paper. “I believe this should more than cover your costs.”

Yeah, let’s just see…that’s a lot of zeroes. I folded it back up and put it into my own pocket. As I did, I heard Jane start speaking again, this time in a much more sultry tone.

“Now then, I believe I owe you a bonus Mr. Mus?” Her eyes were heavy lidded as she lifted her skirt slightly, showing off a bit of purple stocking clad thigh. I looked to Jessica who just smiled and took a seat at my desk, her legs spread open and revealing a pair of red panties.

“Go ahead Anon.” Jessica moaned out as her fingers began tracing her panty clad lower lips, “I kind of want to give this voyeurism thing a try.”

With a quick shrug I quickly grabbed Jane, pulling the shorter redhead against me.

“Oh Mr. Mus!” She cooed. “So forcefuMMPH!”

I quickly forced my lips against hers, my tongue trying to force its way into her mouth. She was shocked for a moment, but quickly wrapped her arms around me, returning the kiss and allowing my tongue in.

What? After my turns with Jessica and Cindy had me be passive for the most, I was EAGER to be the lead right from the start.

Breaking off from Jane so I could get some air, I grabbed the bottom of her top and pulled it upwards and off her with a surprising amount of ease, leaving her completely topless. I then fumbled around with her skirt in an attempt to get that off her only to be completely stymied by the thing. In response, Jane just pushed me away a bit while she undid her skirt. While she did that, I opted to get myself undressed. By the end, I was completely nude, while she was clad in just purple stockings.

“Oh dear,” she muttered wide eyed at my slowly growing erection. “That poor thing, it needs some relief doesn’t it?”

I still didn’t say anything. Instead, I just lifted Jane up bridal style, earning a squeal out of the lady, and dropping her on the mattress. I then took in a good look at her.

Jane’s figure was less exaggerated than Cindy’s or Jessica’s. She was shorter for one, easily by a full head at least, her hips weren’t as pronounced though she still had good child birthing hips, her breasts were easily the smallest of the three, making for a hand full if even that, and her ass was gropeable but didn’t have much to it. Really, the only area she came close to matching Cindy and Jessica was her legs, which were long and smooth.

Damned if she wasn’t still a sight for sore eyes though.

I climbed onto the mattress and positioned myself so that my face was lined up with her stocking clad crotch, her scent wafting into my nose. Oh lord, that smell was nothing short of enticing, I had to taste her! I grabbed at the crotch of her stockings, tearing a hole in them large enough to completely expose her dripping pussy to the world.

“Oh my,” Jessica moaned out, her fingers inside her panties and slowly stroking her lower lips, “no bra, no panties, you were ready for this, weren’t you Jane?”

I quickly dove in, lapping away at Jane’s fluids, starting with her outer lips before moving to her depths.

“OOOH!” Jane moaned out. “Well what can I say? After that face fucking Anon gave me yesterday, I was eager to see what he could doooOOOO!”

Jane’s shout there was due to me lifting her legs up on my shoulders so that her upper half was laying on the mattress, while her lower half was hanging from my shoulders, allowing me to delve deeper with my tongue, her legs kicking and flailing from excitement behind my head.

“Mmm.” Jessica moaned, kicking off her now drenched panties elsewhere in the office, “Aren’t you creative Anon? Roger and I certainly know how to pick a good third.” She then stood up and walked over to the mattress before kneeling down, continuing to finger herself with a much better view.

By this point I had stopped tasting Jane’s depths, instead focusing on her clit, licking and suckling gently at the nub, causing her to grip at the sheets whenever she wasn’t flailing like an inmate at the asylum.

“OH YES!” she shrieked, “KEEP DOING THAT ANON! SOMETHING…SOMETHING’S…AAAAUGH!” She then went stiff as a torrent of her juices flooded out, covering my face with her delectable fluids, (Seriously, her cum tasted like grapes.) before she finally went limp, breathing heavily.

I felt the mattress shift. I turned to see Jessica, now on the mattress, staring at me with a pout on her face. “Anon,” she whined, “are you gonna share that? I’d like to try some.”

“Sure,” I said with a smile as I moved my face closer to her own, “help yourself.”

Jessica then leaned in till she was inches away from my face before sticking her tongue out and licking at Jane’s juices on my face. Over and over the organ stroked my face until she had cleaned most of the cum off of me. She then turned towards the still out of it Jane.

“You know Jane, you taste rather good.” She then started crawling till her head was just above Jane’s own. “How about I give you a sample?” She then pressed her lips to Jane’s, much gentler than when I did, the smaller redhead’s eyes widening in shock for a moment before closing as she returned the kiss.

Deciding to make sure they knew I was still here, I lowered Jane’s hips until my dick was at her entrence. I then slowly slid in, causing us both to moan out from the sensation.

“Holy shit.” I grunted out. There was no two ways about it; Jane was EASILY as tight as Betty Boop had been! It was a struggle just to get half of my shaft inside her! I could see Jane wasn’t faring too much better as she gripped at the sheets again, her eyes now clenched shut.

Yeah you can’t hurt Toons, but they can still feel discomfort and pain.

Taking a bit of consideration for the lady, I waited a bit for her to get used to me. During this, Jessica finally broke the liplock she had with Jane, staring at the smaller lady with a sultry grin on her face.

“Well Jane,” she whispered, “what do you think?”

Jane was quiet for a bit before breaking out into her own smile. “Well I must say, my flavor is rather enjoyable.” She then leaned her head at me, “C’mon Anon, you practically raped my throat, you know I can take it!”

With a nod from me, I grabbed hold of Jane’s hips and started forcing my hips downward, slowly inching more of my shaft into her vice-like depths, Jane’s legs kicking behind my head all the while. Good lord, this woman was so tight it fucking HURT! Eventually though, I managed to force the rest of my dick into her pussy.

I then saw Jessica move again so that she was next to Jane’s side, her hand reaching out and rubbing the smaller girl’s lower stomach.

“Oh!” She uttered in a rather surprised tone. “I think I can feel you Anon!”

“Alright, enough fun and games!” Jane growled out, her hips rotating against mine. “Hurry up and fuck me Anon!”

Put bluntly, I obliged her. My hips started thrusting back and forth, slowly, but every thrust into was a strong one, pressing Jane’s body into the mattress with every impact, the way I had us positioned allowing me to go far deeper than I would have otherwise. Our hips slamming together every time, with Jane screaming all the while.


“Listen to her Anon!” Jessica moaned out. I looked and saw that she was back on the side of my bed, her top now pulled down and exposing her bare breasts, one hand alternating between massaging a tit and tweaking a nipple while her other hand continued to finger herself, her juices now flowing freely onto the sheets.

I reached down towards Jane, grabbing her by the back and lifting her up, bringer her face close to mine. Her eyes were wide with shock for a moment, but as I continued thrusting upwards into her, the lowered into a heated stare as she grabbed onto my the back of my neck to better stable herself.

“C’mon you little slut.” I growled out as I pumped into the animated MILF, “tell us how you’re feeling!”

“It’s amazing!” she panted out, “I…I feel something but I…I don’t know…Jessica what’s happening to me!?”

“Just let it happen Jane.” Jessica hissed out. “I don’t think Anon is too far behind you.”

“I..I can’t…Oh! OH! OH YES!”

A few more thrusts and I felt Jane’s already tight cunt practically crush my dick as she threw her head back, screaming all the while as her pussy started flooding with her cum. True to Jessica’s word, I was right there with her, flooding her depths with my seed and mixing with her fluids. Eventually, my grip on her loosened, letting the orange haired Toon slip out of my hands and onto the mattress with a soft bounce, our combined fluids pooling out from her pussy lips as she fell into a light daze.

Holy fuck, I think she was a virgin.

As I stood there, on my knees and panting for breath, I heard Jessica whisper into my ear.

“You know Anon, I haven’t cum just yet.”

Smiling, I grabbed Jessica’s arm and threw her onto her knees on the bed, her breasts shaking wildly from the force of it. I then quickly moved behind her, and moved the skirt of her dress to the side, revealing her heart shaped ass and pussy lips which were literally dripping with lust.

“Oooh!” She moaned out before shaking her hips side to side. “You can certainly be demanding can’t you Anon?” I slapped her ass, making Jessica gasp sharply as I watched her ass jiggle. I then slapped her other cheek, drawing another gasp with jiggling.

“Anooon,” Jessica moaned, “Don’t tease me like this! Can’t you see how much I need you?”

I leaned over her, my head resting on her shoulder and allowing me to whisper in her ear. “Oh I can see that VERY well Jessica, seeing you on all fours, eager for a thick hard cock after working yourself up watching another man and woman fuck. But I don’t want to SEE how much you need this, I want you to TELL me.” I then reached under her chest and started grabbing at one of her dangling tits, causing her to groan. “Well Jessica? C’mon. Tell me.”

“You big dicked bastard.” I heard her mumble. I’d bet my bottom dollar she was rolling her eyes as she said that. “Please Anon!” She whispered pleadingly, “I want you! I NEED you! My pussy has been aching to feel your dick again!”

With that, I pulled myself back, releasing my grip on her breast and moving both of them to her hips which I grabbed firmly. I then moved her up just enough so that the head of my dick was aligned with her cunt, and with one thrust, I plowed into her depths, my hips slamming into her ass.

“OH WALT!” Jessica screamed. Just as with Jane, once I was in I didn’t let up. I thrust into her harshly, again and again, her voice screaming and ass shaking with every impact, her gloved hands gripping at the sheets as the bed rocked with every thrust. As I looked down at her, I could see her tits bouncing and flailing under her, a loud clapping noise mixing with the rest of the noises as they hit each other.

“Ah! Yes Anon! Take me! Use me! Fuck me like an animal!” Deciding to oblige her, I leaned over her again, my hands moving from her hips and trailing her belly until they both reached her fleshy mountains and grabbed hold, giving me leverage enough to press my chest to her back, letting my hips thrust into her with quicker and shorter thrusts with every impact making a sharp clap, and letting me place my head back over her shoulder.

“You know Jessica,” I hissed into her ear, “Jane was much tighter than you. I know she’s smaller, but that can only amount to so much.” I started squeezing her tits tighter, making Jessica let out a loud moan. “Be honest, how many men have you been with since you left porn?” She actually shut her mouth, apparently desperate not to tell me. In retaliation, I harshly pinched her erect nipples, making her let out a quick shriek. “None of that now. C’mon. you’re with friends here.”

I heard her mutter something. “What’s that? Couldn’t make it out.” She muttered again. In response, I twisted her nipples again, this time pulling on them for good measure. THAT got her talking!

“Five! I’ve slept with five other men! All of them Toons!”

With a smirk on my face, I lifted us upwards, forcing me to thrust up as her arms wrapped around the back of my head. “Five huh?” I whispered in her ear. “Did Roger know?”

“He introduced me to them! Said they just wanted to help!”

“Hmm. And how many human men?”

She looked a bit ashamed at that one. “Three.” She whimpered, “I’ve slept with three human men.”

I started kissing and sucking at her neck. “Roger know about them too?”

“Yes…he…no. Not all of them.” She gasped out.

“Really? Who were the mystery men?”

“Please don’t make me say it!” She pleaded, her eyes actually shedding tears. “I hated every moment of it, but my honey bunny’s job was at stake!”

“Fair enough.” I let go of one of her breasts and placed it under her chin, allowing me to turn her head towards mine. “It’s a moot point anyway. You’re my girl now Jessica. Whenever you need to scratch that itch, I’ll be right there to throw you down and fuck your brains out.” She started rotating her hips at that, the rotations mixing with my thrusts. “You aren’t gonna need another man besides me for a good long while.”

She then mashed her lips to mine, her tongue desperately seeking entrance into my mouth which I granted, my own quickly wresting with hers. My thrusts returned to long and hard one’s sending her body jumping upwards with every thrust.

Soon after I felt her body stiffen as her pussy clamped down hard on my invading erection, pushing me over the edge as I came into her, her own juices flooding out as she came. Any sounds we made were muffled by the liplock as we screamed into the other’s mouth. As I came down from my high, exhaustion caught up with me and I collapsed onto my bed with Jessica still in my arms, sleep taking me soon after with the redhead’s laughter filling my head.

Hey, after what I went through the day before you think a night’s sleep is gonna be all I need? I’m good, but I’m still human.

Plus, I was only out for a few minutes. I quickly came to due to an odd sensation around my dick. I looked down to see Jessica and Jane licking and kissing at my shaft, with one of them taking the length down their throat every now and then while the other moved to my balls and ministered some affection there.

“I’m not done yet am I?” I muttered out with a rather grim kind of cheer. The two redheads stopped what they were doing and smiled right at me.

“Afraid not Anon.” Jane said cheerfully. “You saved my livelihood, so I owe you a LOT more of a bonus.”

“And you made me relive some memories I’d rather forget.” Jessica said with no small amount of mischievousness. “I’d say you owe ME a bonus for psychological damages.”

As the two stood up, I can honestly say that I was trapped between heaven and hell for the foreseeable future. Honestly, it wasn’t as bad of a situation as it’s made out to be.

End of case one.


Good, gravy, but this was a big one. Anyway, don’t go thinking that I’ve rested on my laurels completely while writing this thing. At the very least I’ve got a LOT more Private Eye story ideas. I’ll probably try for more of a third person perspective with those, plus some ideas for another Anon E. Mus series where he goes after furry ladies. Before that though, I’ve GOT to work on my next chapter of Saving the Heavenly Harem series, and an idea for a Lilo and Stitch fic involving Nani and Anon.

Also, anyone else find it weird that I can’t bring myself to completely cuckold Roger Rabbit? Either Jessica isn’t going to leave him, or I mention something about sex not being a big deal for Cartoon characters.

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