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Movie Parodies: South Park Style	By : Kingcobra Category: +S through Z > South Park Views: 4722 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Movie Parodies: South Park Style

By DeadKenny

Hi, DeadKenny here. Just putting up this introduction as a means of posting the disclaimer, since I will not do it in each new chapter. Why not, you may ask? Simple. I don't feel like writing new disclaimers every time I update. Easy answer.

Anyway, I'm saying it here. The following movies that will be parodied within do not belong to me. They all belong to the people/corporation that made them. I make no profit from this collection of parodies. This is just for fun.

Okay, that being said, I hope you enjoy. I'll be starting out with a parody of the "Blair Witch Project". In each parody, I will be putting the South Park kids in the situations and writing out how they will act in each parody, thus adding the humor element to this unusual fic.

I hope you, the fans, enjoy this, since it is for you guys that I write this. As always, reviews are expected, so please do not disappoint me. I enjoy reader criticism. It's what keeps me going in the world of South Park fandom.

As for as ratings go, since I don't want the moderators at Fanfiction.Net to pull this, some of the movies parodied are R rated films, so I will have to remember to keep my stuff clean and edited. (However, since FF.NET have apparently to pull all their R rated fics, I have moved my stuff over here, so screw it). Which means that adult themes in the actual films will not be parodied. This is a purely R rated fic.

So, for your amusement, here comes "The South Park Witch Project"!

DeadKenny.
The South Park Witch Project

NOTE: ALL PARODIES ARE IN SCRIPT FORMAT. THIS ONE, LIKE ALL OF THEM, CONTAINS LANGUAGE.

In June of 2003, A bored author, suffering from Writer's Block, finally got a good idea and sat down to type the first chapter on his computer.

He was done five minutes later.

CAST
Wendy Testaburger
Kenny McCormick
Stan Marsh
With a cameo appearance by Cartman.

In June of 2003,

The camera gets a close up of a smiling brunette, and pulls back, revealing the happy expression of Wendy, aged 20. She is very happy, for some reason. She waves her arms around, showing off her apart.

.

WENDY: Hi, welcome to my humble home, which I am leaving for the weekend to explore the South Park Witch. (continues waving arms around. Stan moves onscreen and she smacks him with her elbow, knocking the boy down.) Oops! Sorry, Stan!

(SCENE: Downtown South Park. Wendy and Stan, joined by Kenny, are talking to local residents. They are currently interviewing Mr. Garrison.)

WENDY: So, do you know anything about the South Park Witch?

GARRISON: The South Park Witch?! What the f**k is that?!

STAN: This is f**king stupid.

WENDY: (defensively) Shut UP, Stan!!

(Next, they ask Big Gay Al.)

BIG GAY AL: Oh, you big sillies! Trying to look for some mythical witch! Ha Ha Ha!

WENDY: This is getting us nowhere.

(SCENE: Wendy's Car, interior. Stan drives, while Wendy talks to the camera. Kenny sits in the back seat, looking at porno mags.)

WENDY: (V.O) So, after three days of meaningless interrogation with the friendly natives, we are now headed into the Denver mountains to set up camp and go exploring for clues regarding the South Park witch.

KENNY: (This makes no fucking sense. Why the hell are we going to DENVER if we're looking for the SOUTH PARK witch?)

WENDY: Um, ah, look! There's a topless female hitchhiker!

KENNY: (eager, looking around the mountain landscape.) (WHERE? WHERE?!)

(SCENE: Denver Mountain. The three explorers have set up a tent at the base of a mountain.)

STAN: I'm freezing my ass off. Can we go back to the car?

WENDY: No!

STAN: But-

WENDY: I SAID NO!!

STAN: Babe...

WENDY: DON'T MAKE ME GIVE YOU THE UP THE NOSE CAMERA SHOT!!!

(Stan vomits, and not because he's in love either.)

STAN: Fine. I guess I'll just freeze, then.

(SCENE: River. There's a log going across the river. The campers use it as a bridge. But Wendy slips and falls into the river, getting carried away to sea by the strong current.)

WENDY: Help!

STAN: Kenny, wait here. (jumps in after her. Unfortunately, he inexplicably forgets how to swim and gets swept away too.) HELP!

(SCENE: Upstream, later. The two are washed out onto shore completely soaked. Kenny runs toward them.)

STAN: Maybe we should stick by the stream. That way, if we get lost, we can just follow it back to civilization.

WENDY: That's a stupid idea.

STAN: That's not stupid! It's sensible!

WENDY: No, it's stupid because we don't need to do that. I know this whole area.

(SCENE: Forest, minutes later.)

STAN: You know this whole area, huh? Then explain to me why we're going in circles!

(SCENE: Up the Mountain. Wendy has been filming everything with that damn camera.)

STAN: GODDAMNIT SHUT OFF THAT CAMERA!!

WENDY: (whining like a child) I NEI NEED to record everything! (starts crying) We've been lost for three fucking days, and it's all I have left!!

STAN: Three days? What the hell are you talking about?! We've only been here since this morning!

WENDY: (cries)

STAN: Oh, boy. Hey, where's Kenny?

WENDY: Dunno. Haven't seen him in hours. Maybe he found a porno mag lying on the ground somewhere.

(SCENE: Tent, next morning. Wendy goes outside and finds a bundle of cloth, wrapped around something, and buried in the snow.)

WENDY: What in the? (opens it) OH MY FUCKING GOD!!

STAN: What?!

(Wendy shows him the cloth. Inside is Kenny's teeth, bloodied. Suddenly, Cartman shows up in that pink tooth fairy dress he wore in the “Tooth Fairy Tats” episode.)

STAN: Cartman?

WENDY: What the hell are you doing here?

CARTMAN: (snatches teeth) I'll take those.

STAN: Dude, can you get us out of here? We're kinda lost.

CARTMAN: (laughs until he cries) Oh, dude! This is so awesome! If you're lost, you'll probbaly never be found! Thank you, god, for getting rid of these asses for me!!

STAN: Shut up, Cartman! We're bound to find other life sooner or later! (Cartman disappears into thin air, and Stan looks at Wendy.) Right?

(SCENE: House. Wendy and Stan hear agonized screams coming from within, and they rush inside.)

WENDY: Kenny?

STAN: Kenny?

(They run into the basement and see something more terrifying then anything they've ever seen before.)

WENDY: Barbra Streisand naked!!! (screams)

STAN: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......

(Wendy's Camera drops and hits the floor. Wendy's face appears in front of the lens, looking worried.)

WENDY: I hope it's not broken. I paid $4,000 for this little weakass camera.

STAN: (Offscreen) Jesus Christ, babe!

NEXT TIME: Joyride.
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Movie Parodies: South Park Style