Inside Job: Overt Intrigue

“She’s perfect,” Tamiko cooed as she reached down and the newborn gripped her finger with surprising strength.

“Of course she is, she came from the two of us and we’re god damn amazing,” Rand said with his usual braggadocio. “But enough admiring our handiwork, let’s get this settled.”

Tamiko rolled her eyes as she swaddled their daughter so she was comfortable before stepping away with Rand.

“Alright, as we previously discussed, if it’s heads we name her after the Gipper and if it’s tails we name her after your favorite ‘jazz violinist’, whatever the hell her name was,” Rand said ending with a note of subtle derision, as he produced a coin from his pocket and quickly flipped it into the air. 

Both parents seemed oddly confident in their chances of winning, Rand because he had a coin that was double headed and Tamiko because she had swapped it for a regular, if weighted to show tails, coin while he’d been nearly comatose from celebratory drinking.

Rand snatched the coin out of the air and slapped it onto the back of his palm. He didn’t even look down as he smiled at Tamiko when he lifted his hand.

“YES!” Tamiko’s shout of joy made Rand’s smile skew and he looked down at the tails side of the coin.

“What the fuck?! This can’t be right!” he said but Tamiko had already rushed back to their daughter’s side where the birth certificate forms were also waiting.

“Welcome to the world, little Regina,” Tamiko cooed again as she filled in the name section of the form.

                                                                                                                        ***

Regina Matsue Ridley pulled up to the outer fence of the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue and groaned softly to herself. Her father was drunkenly ranting at passerbys, which wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t also talking about double super secret Shadow Government operations that would get the average person disintegrated to maintain the status quo.

“Wake up people!” Rand shouted before his drunken waving caused his bathrobe to fall open and expose himself, which honestly got more of a reaction out of people than anything he said had.

“Dad, that’s enough!” Regina shouted from the driver seat of her car as she honked her horn. “Get in already before someone confuses you for a pedophile, or worse, a staffer at the White House.”

Rand stumbled towards her car and more or less fell into the passenger seat before recoiling as he glanced at Regina.

“Gah, sweetie, put those things away, your old man can’t see his girl practically exposing her tam-tams.”

“Fuck off, Dad. These are the reason no one is going to call the ‘authorities’ on you,” Regina said, gesturing towards her custom made chest window on the tightly knit black turtleneck she was wearing. With that she pulled herself up through the driver’s side window and grabbed the bottom of her sweater and lifted it up, exposing her bountiful breasts in their lacey black bra, swaying them to and fro in a subtlety hypnotic fashion, replacing the crowd’s recent traumatic memory with a far more pleasant and implicitly softer one.

“No one pay any attention to the SAD. DRUNKEN. old man. Nothing he said was true. Life is a dull, monotonous drag day after day, with the occasional bit of sunshine like this to help you get through it,” Regina shouted before pulling her sweater back down and sliding back into her seat.

“That was a bit bleak, for you anyway,” Rand said as he settled in while Regina drove.

“Have to stick to Cognito talking points, Dad. Especially if today is going to go like I think it is,” Regina said with a small smile.

“So JR is really going to hand over the reins to you, huh? Never thought that dirty backstabber would ever let go after he screwed me over,” Rand muttered.

“Dad, you had a nervous breakdown running the Shadow Government and in appreciation for all your hard work, they didn’t send you to a blacksite,” Regina reminded her father as they pulled into the parking lot of her work.

“One incident, one, and I get booted out of the company I created!” Rand continued to rant as he followed her inside. Guards moved to stop her father but Regina waved them off and the snipers on the second floor of the foyer lowered their rifles.

“With a very generous severance package,” Regina said with a roll of her eyes as they made their way through the fake entrance and rode the elevator to the real company.

Her father continued to rant and ramble as they made their way deeper into Cognito and Regina absentmindedly defused or deflected his points, if he had any. Once they reached JR Scheimpough’s office, she had her father escorted out at taserpoint, the last thing she needed was for her father to derail what would likely be the beginning of her rise to stardom within the company she had spent years working for.

“Ahh, Regina, there you are,” JR said from behind his desk.

“Yes, sorry about the delay, JR, I was handling a hard situation because that’s the kind of hands-on leader you can expect me to be. Ready to take on all comers, no matter the size!”

JR’s face scrunched up and he quickly pulled his glasses off and made an act of cleaning them to hide the grimace.

“About that, Regina,” he said as he put his glasses back on while standing. “There’s been a slight change of plans…”

“What change?” Regina demanded. “JR, I work my finely tuned ass off for this company and I've clearly shown that I have a much better work/life balance than my dad.”

“Yes you do, and you also cost us a fortune in HR disputes and settlements!” JR said as he pulled out a thick file and dropped it onto his desk. “Blatant workplace promiscuity, indecent exposure, several instances of sexual favors and favoritism, and people have complained that you say 'I'll suck your dick' way too much, even when there are no penises involved! And as a non-white, non-male, non-millionaire, the company just can’t let that slide!”

“If these are such huge problems, how come I’m just now hearing about them?” Regina asked as she leaned forward, displaying her huge problems to the point that JR paused momentarily. 

He gave himself a shake before continuing, “And those aren’t even the most expansive-I mean expensive payouts. Kate and her clone down in Cloning have filed separate cases against you-”

“Hey, I’d be down to pound but they’re kind of a package deal and Kate’s clone is as straight as Egon’s slinky. Everyone has to be consenting.”

“Look, I respect your convictions but I didn't even KNOW it was possible for a discrimination lawsuit to be filed for NOT having sex with someone! To put it plainly, your assets are hurting our assets.”

“Because I won’t fuck Glenn?!” Regina demanded as she leapt to her feet.

“What? Nooooo, come on, even I know Glenn doesn’t count. It was included in the waiver he signed when he agreed to the hybrid program,” JR said as he approached the putting green he had in his office and picked up his putter.

“JR, there has to be something I can do to visibly demonstrate that I’m ready to lead this company,” Regina said, her voice softening as she tried not to sound like she was begging.

“Oh! Thank you for the reminder as there is also the matter of your ‘visible demonstrations’. Need I remind you of the time card incident?”

Without waiting for her to respond, JR grabbed a remote and pressed a button. A painting on his wall slid up to reveal a screen that began playing footage of Regina sauntering towards an employee in the break room.

“Hey Frank, I just want to remind you to be sure to punch your timecard correctly,” Regina said as she cornered the man. “You know you have to be sure to get it all the way in before pulling it out.” As Regina went out she pulled out an actual time card and slid it repeatedly between her breasts in an overt display.

“In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. See? And remember, not too hard as you don’t want to break the machine by just jamming it in there.”

The man she had cornered seemed torn between barely contained arousal and embarrassment before he mustered the nerve to speak.

“What if I want to break the machine?”

Regina smirked as she moved even closer, her hand landing on his hip before sliding towards his crotch. The man let out a yell that quickly died to a whimper as Regina grabbed his dick through his pants and squeezed roughly.

“Intentional damage of company property will not be tolerated, Frank,” Regina said huskily, leaving him even more confused and aroused. “But it looks like we’ll have to continue this discussion later as your fifteen minute break is over. Why don’t you find me during your lunch and we can go over the finer points of time management.”

JR shut off the video at that point and leaned on his putter, “I’d play the rest but HR says playing hardcore pornography in the workplace is frowned upon.”

“Does that imply softcore is allowed?” Regina asked before she could stop herself.

JR stared at her silently before going on. “Regardless, since you're such a fan of work/life balance, it’s been decided that you will be coleading the team in your new position to ‘balance out’ your work/life tendencies. Meet your new co-boss, Brett! Brett, take off that silly hood, you’ve already sworn the blood oath on the real Solomon’s Tome.”

Regina turned as a man was marched into the office and his hood was yanked off. Her breath caught as one of the most genuinely handsome and kind looking men she’d ever seen smiled and extended his hand. All thoughts of destroying him came to a crashing halt as she reflexively raised her hand to take his.

“Brett Hand! At your service ma’am!” he said as he pumped her hand up and down.

“No, Brett, you’re her equal,” JR said with a soft sigh before muttering, “but you do make more than her.”

“Right, nice to meet you, partner,” Brett corrected himself as he let go and began to look around.

“Regina, why don’t you show Brett around,” JR said as he gathered up the rest of his golf gear and began to head for the door. “I look forward to seeing what the two of you can accomplish together.”

Before Regina could say anything, JR was gone and she was left with a man whose smile, while charming, indicated that he had no idea where he was or what he was supposed to be doing.

“Is it just me or is this place kind of…evil?” Brett asked with a nervous swallow as she led them to her office so she could finish putting the final touches on a project she’d been working hard on for the past three weeks.

“Evil is subjective, Brett. We do a lot of good here too. Like keeping the masses from constantly panicking over the fact that 99% of the world’s wealth is controlled by three people and it’s not the three you think it is,” Regina said as she donned her lab coat and headed towards a table where a humanoid form was lying face down.

“But aren’t people smart enough to handle the truth of their existence?”

“A person is smart, Brett. People are dumb herd animals and prone to panicking if the newest Marvel movie doesn't have enough big tittied women in it,” Regina said as she turned back to him and folded her arms to emphasize her own impressive bust just to enjoy catching Brett’s eyes darting in their direction. At the rate things were going, she’d have this new fish gutted and fried before lunch, and then she would be properly in charge of things.

“Ok, so then what are you working on that is going to make the world a better place?” Brett asked as he peered past her at what looked like a body.

“I’m going to make sure we have complete control over the President!” Regina exclaimed as she closed a panel and the body she’d been working on began to stir.

Brett stepped back as it sat up and looked at him, revealing an exact replica of the President of the United States.

“Hello…Ryan Gosling, I hope I can count on your continued suppoooooooooooo-” The robotic president’s voice glitched out and it began making erratic movements, prompting Regina to yank the panel back open and start fiddling again.

“Damn, I thought I had it this time,” Regina muttered as sparks shot from the robot’s body and it slumped back onto the table.

“How is a robot version of the President a good thing?” Brett asked nervously.

“ROBOTUS here makes it so we can direct the country without having to waste millions in bribes and don’t have to worry about anyone else influencing him. Think about it, we can give healthcare to the whole country, while also making sure the fluoride in the water does make it easier to control the masses and prevents cavities.”

“Huh, that does actually sound…not bad,” Brett said as he rubbed his chin.

Regina eyed Brett as he continued to process the idea and smiled to herself before she knocked one of her tools from the table.

“Oops, clumsy me, let me get that,” she said as she turned and bent over. She was glad she’d chosen to wear a skirt today instead of her usual all-purpose pants to seem more professional. The skirt made her ass even shapelier and more irresistable, Brett would have to be a eunuch to resist her.

She could feel his eyes drawn to her ass like a tractor beam and her smile grew wider as it was just a matter of moments before they were stripping each other naked and he became putty in her hands. She could practically feel his hands about to take hold of her when the door to her lab opened.

“Hey, skaaaaank, where’s the fresh meat?” called out a dark skinned woman as she strutted in on high heels like it was the Met Gala and she owned the place.

Regina scowled before smoothing her features as she straightened up, “Gigi, how nice of you to stop by. Brett, this is Gigi, Gigi, Brett. Gigi manages the social media branch of the company.”

“Hot damn, it’s a good thing I got here when I did,” Gigi said as she eyed Brett up and down. “She’d have drained a tall glass of good looking like you in no time at all.”

Brett looked between the two women as Gigi pointedly avoided looking at Regina while smirking at him.

“Oh, well that’s nice of you to say, I think,” Brett said as the temperature in the room continued to plummet. “Uhm, I guess as co-leader I should meet the rest of our team?”

“You’re so right!” Gigi said as she came around the table and hooked her arm through Brett’s. She flashed a wicked grin at Regina before walking Brett out of Regina’s lab. “You know, I think we’re going to be in good hands with you around, Brett.”

Regina stared after them before letting go of the white knuckled grip she’d had on her tools. She looked at ROBOTUS but realized that she just didn’t have the focus to hammer out the kinks in its programming until she resolved the Brett issue.

After Gigi had interrupted her initial attempt, Regina had followed them to the company cafeteria where the rest of the crew got to meet Brett. It didn’t surprise Regina that the others immediately took to him though she did feel a little resentful that she wasn’t the center of attention, or at least included in the conversation. Distance did prove useful though, it allowed her to study Brett without being swept up in his good looks.

He seemed a genuinely nice person, if a bit naive, which made him an odd choice for this line of work. Everyone else was damaged or jaded to a degree, Regina being no exception. As she listened while pretending to examine her subtle yet finely crafted makeup, she discovered the not-so-secret of Brett’s success.

“Between the connections I made in my frats, my family and my good looks, I could go anywhere and that’s pretty much what I spent the last year doing, just kind of hanging out and people would pay me or let me crash wherever. I met JR at James Woods’ barbeque and I can tell you, that man really does have night moves. Ha, that’s a joke JR and James kept making even though I didn’t get it and still don’t, but it was funny everytime.”

Regina didn’t know if she was relieved or insulted. Brett was little more than a yes man and there was no way he could possibly pose a threat to her goals. But the fact that she had to share power with this man, no matter for how short a period of time, was too much of an insult. She would get her hands on him and then, if he was a good fuck, maybe she’d keep him around as her office pet or something.

Or so she had thought, but getting Brett in a position for her to compromise was easier said than done. She had managed to get him to come to the roof where she figured they could slam bits together with a scenic view of DC but just as she began slinging innuendo at him, Elliot Mothman, resident HR buzzybody, just happened to make a landing nearby for a smoke and possum snackbreak.

He seemed confused by their presence until his many segmented eyes landed on Regina and a look of understanding came over him. He didn’t accuse them of anything improper, but from the way his wings fluttered and his red eyes squinted at them, it was all the warning Regina needed to know nothing was going to happen on the roof…for now.

She had thought the perfect opportunity presented itself when she caught him going to the bathroom. There were more glory holes in the Cognito bathrooms than tape recorders in Nixon’s Whitehouse, so Regina figured it was fool proof. As she crept into the stall next to the only other occupied one she couldn’t help feeling a rush she hadn’t felt in years. It had been a long time since she had to work to get anyone’s attention like this and it made her feel young again, or younger at least.

Regina squatted in the stall next to the obvious hole cut in the wall and knocked three times, the universal signal for those in the know. There was a sudden stirring but instead of a dick poking through the hole, a familiar blue tentacle shot through the hole and past her lips.

“Holy shit! I thought it was too good to be true but it’s really you!” Myc, the sentient mushroom from the Hollow Earth, shouted as several more tentacles joined the first to hold Regina’s head while he began to slide the first tentacle far down her throat.

“I could sense your horny thoughts a mile away, and followed your mental snail trail here! I’ve never been happier to be a psychic psilocybin!” Myc continued to rant as Regina snarled around his tentacle but couldn’t manage the force necessary to bite through it.

One would think that a randy tentacle monster would be Regina’s dream cum true but Myc had all the personality of three-week-old roadkill. Thankfully, his tentacle didn’t possess a similar taste as it rolled over her tongue, in fact its earthy flavor and spongey texture reminded her of king oyster mushrooms. A moment later a wave of pleasure hit Regina unexpectedly and she let out a choking gurgle around Myc’s tendril.

“Ohhhhhhh, did you like that, Regina, you slut? A little taste of what I bring to the fuck swing, if you know what I mean,” Myc said before he began grunting like they were in a porno.

Regina tried to fight the waves of pleasure assaulting her mind and body. Her nails scraped the wall of the stall as she tried to pull herself free of Myc’s tendrils.

“Oh ho ho, where do you think you’re going?” Myc called out as she continued to buck and toss her head back and forth. “This has been a long time coming, Regina! And speaking of cumming, I’m gonna…I’m gonna…I’m gonna-HNNNNNNGGGHHH!!”

Regina’s eyes widened as Myc’s tentacle swelled and globs of his psychoactive mushroom jism poured down her throat. More sprayed from his other tentacles, completely soaking Regina in more of the blue spunk.

“Hck, gah, fucking hell, Myc!” Regina coughed as she fell back.

“What can I say Regina, I’m an enthusiastic lover,” Myc called out as he left the stall and began washing his tendrils at the sink.

Regina threw her stall door open and glared balefully at him.

“Don’t try to pretend you didn’t enjoy it, ya whore. I could feel you soaking your panties. And now that you’ve had a taste just gimme a call when you want the full Magic Myc experience,” Myc said as he finished drying his tentacles off and tossed the paper towel in Regina’s direction.

After that debacle, Regina decided to try a more direct approach and grabbed Brett as he was passing a custodial supply closet. She threw the door open and pushed Brett inside, hearing him crash against the stacks of cleaning supplies. Regina closed the door behind her, casting them both into darkness.

“Is this a hazing the new guy thing?” Brett asked as he tried to pick himself up and only caused more supplies to cascade down onto him. “Cause I’m ready, I’ve survived more Hell Weeks than anyone and I’ve been expecting something all day.”

“Oh, this will make Hell Week look like paradise when I’m done with you,” Regina said as she took a step and immediately tripped over something. She went down in an ungraceful heap and a bottle of some kind fell on her, spilling its contents all over her. The reek of bleach reached her nose immediately and made her struggle to get to her feet.

“Uhm, are you ok? Let me help,” Brett called out as he also began to scramble to stand. In his hurry, he knocked another container over and the smell of ammonia began to fill the room.

“Fucking hell, we need to get the hell out of here!” Regina shouted as she realized what was about to happen.

“Don’t worry, I can-hack-take it!” Brett said. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been-hurp-tear gassed as part of a hazing.”

“This isn’t tear gas, you moron, it’s mustard gas and unless you want to cough up your lungs, quit messing around!” Regina shouted as she covered her nose and mouth and struggled to get the door open only to find that all the supplies that had tumbled to the floor were now blocking the door.

“Stand back, I got this!” Brett shouted before blindly rushing the door. Thankfully, his weight was enough to break it down and they stumbled out gasping for air.

As Regina struggled to catch her breath a hand reached down to help her up and she wrestled with the conflicting thoughts that it unleashed in her. On the one hand, Brett had not only saved them both with his physicality and quick thinking, and wasn’t blowing up at her for technically creating the situation that had nearly killed them, all of which was incredibly attractive. On the other, all of that just pissed her off more!

Her pride made her brush his hand off and make it to her feet on her own before seeking a chemical shower station. Washing off any trace of the mustard gas gave her time to think of other ways she might get her hands on Brett. All those ideas would end in failure as well.

Another attempt at an ambush nearly got them both killed again as they got caught up in the stock market cult’s chicken sacrifices turned orgy. Those people were not nearly careful enough with their sacrificial dagger and Brett took off after nearly being sliced several times. Regina didn’t mind a little knife play but even she realized it was getting out of hand, unfortunately she was already three dicks deep by that time and couldn’t extricate herself from the tangle of bodies right away.

The day was nearly over and Regina didn’t want to admit it but she was feeling desperate. She decided one last pass at Brett was needed and if that failed, she might just put the building into lockdown and flood the place. She stopped by his office and opened the door without knocking. The instantly familiar sound of bodies colliding made her freeze, her words dying on her tongue.

Brett was bent over a woman laid out on his desk, his pants were around his ankles and her ankles were locked behind his back. Regina’s brain, normally able to process everything at lightspeed, was ground to a halt until she caught sight of the woman’s platinum blonde hair tossing about.

If Gigi was Regina’s bitchy peer, Lorelai was the office wannabe bimbo. One of Cognito’s twenty four hours news network mouthpieces, that mouth was the only skilled part about her and Regina wasn’t referring to her work in front of the camera.

Regina wasn’t used to being so angry and so horny at the same time but she couldn’t stop herself from watching the two of them make a sweaty mess. Her hands slowly drifted across her body as they fucked unaware of her.

Lorelai’s grip on Brett tightened right before he suddenly lifted her with ease, holding her by her ass, which looked uncomfortable to Regina considering the woman’s lack of padding in the area. This new position allowed Lorelai to peek over Brett’s shoulder and it didn’t take her long to notice Regina standing in the doorway.

Rather than cry out at the intrusion, a smirk spread across Lorelai’s face as she locked eyes with Regina. Regina couldn’t stop her brow from twitching in frustration and that was all the confirmation Lorelai needed before she began really throwing herself into the copulation.

“Mmmm! Brett, you’re such a stud! This company needed a fresh injection of strong, white male energy and so do I!” Lorelai moaned as she raked her nails across Brett’s shoulders, leaving faint red marks.

“Well-Ngh-thank you, Ms Kahren,” Brett grunted out as he continued to vigorously pound her pussy.

“Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaase, call me Lorelaiiiiiiiiii!” she cried out with exaggerated pleasure while her gaze never left Regina.

Regina turned and slammed the door behind her before storming away. She gathered up the bits of ROBOTUS she needed to finish, hoping that by throwing herself into her work at home, she could force today from her memory.

And that was her state of mind as she got home, reliving her failures on loop until the front door shut behind her. She let her head drop dejectedly as she wondered if this was going to be her life now before giving herself a shake. Tamiko Nakamura didn’t raise a quitter, she would break Brett Hand or blow up the Earth trying! 

It was at that point Regina realized someone else was in her home. She reached into her bag and pulled out a taser that could electrocute someone to the point of disintegrating them. She moved forward quietly, slipping out of her heels to pad quietly on her way to the kitchen where she heard someone shuffling around.

“Move and you’re dead!” she snapped as she stepped into the kitchen doorway.

A jar smashing onto the floor nearly made her pull the trigger but she recognized her father at the last moment and lifted the taser.

“Jesus, Jellybean!” Rand cried out, though he hadn’t dropped the pickle he’d fished out of the jar.

“Dad, what the fuck are you doing here?” Regina demanded as she stowed the taser back in her bag and pulled out a remote that activated her roomba.

Rand stepped over the autonomous vacuum cleaner as he grabbed the sandwich he’d also made.

“Y’know, I wish I could say this was the first time I've had a taser pointed at me in my own house,” he said as he stepped past Regina to collapse onto her couch.

“This ISN’T your house,” Regina said tersely as she began to feel a headache building. She pinched the bridge of her nose, “You HAVE your own home!”

“Yeah and it’s a real dump. JR screwing me all over again. By the way, how’d the promotion go?” Rand asked between bites of food.

Regina grew quiet but she did put her bag down at her home desk perhaps a little more forcefully than she intended.

“That well, huh?” Rand asked with a knowing smirk that made Regina feel her blood pressure climbing.

“So I got the promotion, but so did some rando that practically wandered in off the street,” Regina said as she unpacked her bag, setting out the various parts of ROBOTUS that she needed to work on, including his head. “We’re partners, ‘co-leading’ the team.”

“That sounds like a mountain of horse shit. JR picked this guy to squeeze you out, sweetie. You need to strike first before he makes his move.”

Regina was tempted to agree with him until something about what he said made her pause, “I never said JR hired a guy. Dad, are you spying on me?!”

“Wha-? Jellybean, come on. JR is a good ol’ boy, he’d rather give up his favorite testicle than promote a woman! Of course his pick would be a guy.”

Regina glared at her father but she had to admit his reasoning was sound. She sighed before turning back to her work.

“That your latest little world domination scheme?” Rand asked as he finished off the sandwich and got up to take a closer look. If it had been anyone else, Regina would have stopped them, but since Rand knew all the dirty little secrets of the Shadow Government she figured it couldn’t hurt.

“It’s less world domination and more…world gentle coercion,” Regina said as she stepped away to start preparing something quick to eat and get a pot of coffee going. Having spent the day trying to bag Brett, she was likely going to have to pull an all nighter to have everything ready for tomorrow. 

“Feel free to show yourself out anytime!” she shouted from the kitchen.

“Fine, fine. I know when I’m not wanted,” Rand shouted back before Regina heard the door slam.

Regina took a moment to lean against her fridge in relief. Seeing her father twice in one day was something she hadn’t experienced since she was a little girl and it was even more exhausting than she remembered.

***

“Jesus, Regina, even looking like something the cat dragged in, you could still totally get it,” Myc said as she passed him. Regina flipped him the bird before noting that Brett was strangely absent from the meeting. Maybe her luck had turned around and he’d broken under the pressure, or Lorelai had given him the worst case of crabs ever, like the Atlantean variety.

“All right, team, what do you have for me today?” JR said as he reclined in one of the office chairs and sipped from a mug.

“I managed to put the finishing touches on our greatest endeavor yet,” Regina said as she stepped onto center stage. “With this, we will finally have full control over the White House while only spending a fraction of what we used to. I give you, ROBOTUS!”

Regina pressed a button and the box began to shift until it had transformed into an exact replica of the President of the United States. JR stood and moved to examine her work, adjusting his glasses as he looked the machine up and down.

“Impressive, you even managed to capture his jowls,” JR said before his phone buzzed in his coat pocket. He pulled it out and winced slightly before glancing around. “It’s the Shadow Council. They say their projector is on the fritz but your project looks very good. They do have a  concern about its self-awareness.”

Everyone else looked around the room, wondering where they were being spied on from as JR continued. “They are worried that it might ‘go rogue like in Terminator, but only the good ones’.” 

“It doesn’t have the capacity to achieve true awareness. It’s basically an algorithm of every three letter sports league, patriotism memes, and John Wayne films. Watch,” Regina said as she pressed another button and ROBOTUS stirred to life.

“Alright, people, I’m only going to say this once! We’re going to pull off the hail maryest of plays because that’s what we do and we’re not going to apologize for it! This is America, dammit, and we don’t ask permission before getting the job done before the buzzer rings!”

Regina pushed the button again and ROBOTUS went limp while remaining standing.

“I was up all night putting the finishing touches on him-”

“Because she wasted all day yesterday trying to get touched,” Gigi stage whispered to Andre who low fived her in response. 

“-and once he’s swapped with the real president, and we’ve shown how effective he is,” Regina went on while shooting them both withering glares, “we can move on to replacing other world leaders. We’ll even be able to maintain the illusion of free and fair elections since the robot replicas can be altered to look like whoever gets voted in next.”

JR glanced down at his phone, “The Council is pleased and if they’re happy, I’m ecstatic! Well team, looks like we’re good here unless anyone has anything else to present.”

Just then the doors flew open and Brett came in pushing a cart and using his phone to make air horns noises.

“Sorry I’m late everyone. I knew today was an important day for something so I thought something special was needed to commemorate it. I nearly didn’t get ‘em all finished but that just means these are piping fresh!” he said as he wheeled the cart in front of the others and threw open the lid of the pastry box on top.

“Oh my god, are those fresh baked brownies? What strain did you lace them with?” Andre asked as he grabbed one in each hand.

“The only things these are laced with are love and respect for my team,” Brett said as he put his fists on his hips. “And just the metaphorical kind of love and respect, just to be clear none of my bodily fluids are in them.”

“Well then they can’t be that good,” Andre said skeptically before taking a bite. A shiver shot through Andre as his eyes dilated to the size of dinner plates. “Mmmmm, MMMMMMmmmm, oh holy fuck, these are amazing! Is this what food without drugs really tastes like?”

The others crowded around to get a taste of Brett’s brownies and Regina stood flabbergasted by ROBOTUS.

“Uhhhhh, hello? I built a robot president, basically by myself! How are brownies getting a bigger reaction?!”

“To be fair, Regina, these are some dynamite brownies,” JR said around a mouthful before his phone buzzed again. “And the Council is also pleased with Brett’s initiative. I mean productivity has increased significantly since he’s come on board.”

“Yeah, because I worked my perky ass off to get this all done!” Regina tried to argue but the others were all focusing on Brett.

“The Council is touched by your gesture Brett and they say they’ll remember this, which I think is a good thing and not ominous at all,” JR said as he clapped Brett on the shoulder.

Regina was beside herself with rage. It was taking all her willpower not to grab one of the dozens of hidden weapons in the room and dropping Brett like a twelve point buck. She managed to storm out of the room without spilling blood but the others gushing about Brett’s brownies rang in her ears all the way to her office.

As she reached the refuge of her office, Regina heard another voice in her ear, her father’s. All the things he had said about Brett the night before seemed even more true now. What if JR really was trying to get rid of her and Brett was his figurehead so he could control even more of the company than he already did? After all, when was the last time Regina hadn’t been able to bag any man or woman she set her sights on?

As her thoughts spiralled, Regina decided she was going to get to the bottom of this Brett problem once and for all.

But Regina had to be careful, she couldn’t just accuse Brett of being JR’s dupe. She had to dig up something about Brett that would make JR hate him, or at least make it unacceptable to keep him employed. She’d been up all night, again, crawling through Brett’s digital footprints. She wasn’t sure if it was the sleep deprivation or the bouts of intense masturbation that staring at countless shirtless pictures of Brett provoked in her, but as the sun began to peek over the horizon she thought she had a pretty compelling case.

Everyone was gathered at the triangular conference table, laughing over something she had neither the patience or interest to pay attention to. She swept papers off the table before she plunked her laptop down and opened it, connecting it to the massive wall of screens behind her.

“Uhm, good morning to you too, Regina,” JR said as she typed away furiously, bringing up a series of images and documents.

“I know you all think Brett is some sort of golden boy but I’m telling you, he is not what he seems!” Regina said as she presented her first piece of evidence. “For example, here he is with Jerry Springer outside a massage parlor!”

“Former Mayor Springer has excellent taste in massage parlors, Regina, everyone knows that,” JR said dismissively.

“It’s actually for physical therapy after I broke my collar bone during one of my family’s pickup tag football games,” Brett chimed in quietly before shrinking at the withering gaze Regina shot at him. “My cousins can be a little overenthusiastic.” 

Regina glanced around the room and blinked in surprise as she found everyone glaring at her. Why couldn’t they see the truth?!

“Ok, then what about the fact that he was a drug mule for the Cartel!” Regina said as she pulled up videos of Brett being handed a container and putting it in a suitcase before getting on a flight.

“Wait, you mean that wasn’t protein powder my buddies Carlos and Ramone asked me to give to their pal, Vladimir, when I was smuggling knockoff jeans from Mexico to Russia?” Brett asked with genuine shock.

“Wha-? How was that not in anything I found on you?” Regina said as she ran her fingers through her hair while looking through all her files.

“Well, I got arrested but as they were taking me away, Norman Reedus saw me strutting in those knockoffs and got the Russian government to drop the charges so I could be a male model. He’s super cool!” Brett explained.

“You know Daryl, the character who nearly caused massive riots across the nation over the thought of him dying and one of Hideo Kojima’s close friends?” Andre asked in awe. “I fuckin’love getting high and watching TWD and playing Koijma games.”

“Guys! Come on! He’s fooling all of you with his bullshit nice guy routine!” Regina panted with wild eyes.

“Regina, is it possible that you feel threatened because you’re no longer the prettiest one in the office?” Glenn asked, causing everyone to stare at him in silence.

“Jesus Christ, Glenn,” Myc said with a shake of his head.

“Glenn, say anything like that again and I will turn you into gas station sushi,” Regina whispered with deadly seriousness. She straightened up and took a deep calming breath while trying to fix her hair.

“I’m just saying that it feels like he hasn’t been fully checked out and that maybe putting him in such a high ranking position as we’re about to begin a highly critical project is…not the best idea,” Regina ended weakly, especially as JR began to glare.

“I mean,” she quickly tacked on as panic gripped her, “he hasn’t exactly tried to defend against that accusation, has he?”

That caused all eyes to turn towards Brett whose gaze had drifted towards the ceiling as his mouth hung open slightly.

“Mmm, yeah that feels gooooood,” he whispered before starting with the realization that everyone was looking at him. “Uh-I mean, Regina has some good points but…”

As Brett trailed off Regina suddenly realized Gig was nowhere to be seen. Her eye twitched as a thought occurred to her and she ducked to look under the table. Sure enough, Gigi was knelt between Brett’s legs, her full lips wrapped around his cock. 

“Are you for fucking real, Gigi?” Regina all but shouted.

“I’m sorry everyone,” Brett said, though he didn’t do anything to stop Gigi from working every inch of his cock down her throat. “I didn’t want to interrupt Regina by stopping her.”

“What’s the big deal?” JR asked. “I mean really, who has gotten their dick sucked by Gigi? Glenn, put your hand down.”

“What’s the big deal? WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?!” Regina couldn’t stop herself as she rounded on JR. “You said that my ‘antics’ in the office were the reason I had to share the position with Brett! And here he is getting dome while we’re trying to have a serious discussion! I at least made time for my promiscuity during the workday so it wasn’t disruptive!”

“Regina, I’ve explained this dozens of times already. Powerful men can grab what they want, whenever they want. That’s how this country works,” JR said

Regina tried to say something but JR stood and spoke over her, “Furthermore, I never told you to cork your sexual escapades, the issue was all the lawsuits your escapades caused.”

“Brett is still getting his dick sucked as we speak!” Regina said as she stabbed a finger in Brett’s direction.

“Ngh-Nearly d-done,” Brett grunted in response.

“And we’re all very happy for him,” JR said, “but no one is filing a complaint over it. Right guys?”

JR glanced as Glenn, Myc, and Andre and the three other men shared glances before shrugging half-heartedly.

“There, see? No harm no foul,” JR said. “Unless…you’re going to file a complaint?”

Regina hesitated with her mouth partially open. It would solve the problem but it would be a betrayal of her beliefs and way of life. Her shoulders slumped defeatedly.

“I thought so. Listen, Regina, you should take the rest of the week off and maybe the next one to get yourself sorted. You’re in no condition to lead the ROBOTUS deployment,” JR said as he patted her shoulder gingerly, which was honestly better than some of the other places he could have tried to rest his hand. 

Regina’s face fell. Being kicked off her own project was almost worse than being outright fired. No one on her team could look at her as she made her way out, even Gigi’s slurping on Brett’s cock had stopped.

Regina walked home in a fugue state, unable to focus on anything as her mind simply couldn’t understand how things had turned out this way. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting on her couch, staring into space when the door suddenly opened. Her father froze in the doorway as he saw her sitting in the dark and then closed the door as he turned on the light.

“Hey, kiddo, was just coming over to help myself to the liquor cabinet. You, uh, you doing ok?” Rand asked as she remained quiet instead of blowing up at him for invading her home yet again.

“They…kicked me out,” Regina said in disbelief. She blinked as she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see her dad looking down sympathetically.

“How about I make you a drink, Jellybean?”

Several drinks and a few pizzas later, Regina was sobbing on her father’s shoulder while he did his best not to look uncomfortable with the emotional display.

“I’ve done so much for that fucking company and put up with so much shit and this is the thanks I get?” Regina said between sniffles.

“Listen, Jellybean, I told you JR was a snake and not the reptoid kind. You should have poisoned his coffee like I suggested ages ago,” Rand said as he awkwardly rubbed her back before leaning forward to hunt for the remote amongst the pizza boxes and empty cans of beer.

“Let’s take our minds off it with some brainrotting television and then maybe later we can think of ways to make them pay for screwing both of us over,” Rand said as he found the remote and turned on the tv.

Regina dabbed at her eyes as she sat back and sighed. If anyone had told her that in one of the darkest moments of her life, her father would be the one comforting her, she would have told them they were a prime candidate for Cognito’s Manchurian program. She couldn’t help glancing over at him as he flipped channels to find something that wouldn’t send him on a tirade.

“Here we go, a Jurassic Park marathon, just like that birthday party we threw for you when you were little. Jesus, did they really make that many of them?” Rand said before settling back and cracking open a fresh beer.

“Hey, Dad,” Regina said softly, hesitating as she tried to make sure the alcohol and sadness hadn’t compromised her perception too much. “I just wanted to say, even though we haven’t been as close or on the best terms, I really appreciate you-what the fuck!”

Regina’s words took a drastic turn as the movie marathon was interrupted by a news broadcaster. 

“We interrupt all broadcasts to bring you breaking news. The President of the United States has just made an announcement at what was supposed to be a procedural trade agreement dinner and world leaders are reeling. We go now to the president who is still speaking before world leaders.”

“-and by God if one of you even so much as looks at me cross-eyed, I will turn your nation into a smoking heap of rubble faster than you can say ‘Let freedom ring’!” the ROBOTUS shouted with sweeping gestures as leaders of various nations looked on in shock.

“What the hell is going on?” Regina said to herself as she sat forward. “His aggression levels were locked at a tepid 5, how did he get to five seconds to midnight?”

“See? Gone less than a day and the place is already falling apart without you,” Rand said as he sat back with a satisfied smirk on his face. “Hope JR chokes on his scotch.”

Regina glanced between her father and the screen, barely hearing ROBOTUS’s plans for something called the Americube.

“My coding was perfect and there’s no one at work who could have tampered with him. The only time he was out of my sight before this morning was…Dad, what the fuck did you do!?!” Regina shouted as she rounded on her father.

Rand’s smirk didn’t falter as he met her eyes, “Oh just a quick tweak to his programming to send him off the deep end if you’re ever taken off payroll.”

“Are you fucking insane? He’s about to start so many global conflicts we’ll actually catch up to the proper World War numbering, seven! And worse, he could easily expose the Shadow Government!” Regina continued to shout as she lurched to her feet. She wasn’t completely steady but anger and adrenaline were fixing that. Her phone suddenly lit up like it the time she’d made a dating profile on a dare and she snatched it up.

“Regina? Hi, it’s Brett. I know we were having kind of a rough patch when you left this morning but I’M COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT!!! ROBOTUS HAS GONE OFF THE RAILS AND THE KILL SWITCH ISN’T WORKING!”

Regina shot her dad another look and he shrugged, “Wasn’t me, kiddo. Maybe your bot turned it off himself. I know the first thing I’d do is disable any countermeasures installed in my head.”

“Fuck! Alright, Brett, I’ll be at the office as soon as I can. You need to get transportation ready so we can get to New York and either reprogram ROBOTUS or shut him down before he does any more damage.”

“Alright, but you should know all the black helicopters we use to make people paranoid have either been stolen or crashed by panicking employees. Also, one of those crashed helicopters has blocked the Shadowlev tunnels. Oh god, this is the worst second day on the job since I interned for Martin Shkreli!”

“Calm down, Brett. Grab as many weapons as you can and I’ll see you soon,” Regina said before hanging up and before she began cleaning herself up. Things might be urgent but they were never so dire that she couldn’t look good doing them.

As she fixed her hair, she glanced at her father’s reflection and couldn’t help the glare that furrowed her brow, “And you can get the fuck out of here.”

“What did I do besides try to look out for my daughter?” Rand asked indignantly.

“Don’t even try to feed me that line of bullshit!” Regina snapped as she spun around. “You created this whole situation and for what?! I know this isn’t about spending time with me, I have a whole childhood of you being too busy for the weekends we were supposed to spend together to prove that. So what? Was this all some scheme to get yourself back in at Congito?”

Rand’s sullen silence might as well have been a confession.

“Oh my god, this kind of bullshit is exactly why Mom left you!” Regina shouted as she shrugged on her lab coat.

“Hey, that was a mutual separation!” Rand snapped defensively. “And all I’ve done is try to help you be the kind of person who can lead those morons at Cognito! You may not appreciate my methods but once you save the day, they’ll come crawling to have you back!”

“You know what would have helped, Dad? Not having you sabotage my work for the sake of your ego! Yeah, JR is a shithead but after a couple of days of ROBOTUS working just fine, they’d have had me back to work my next fucking miracle! Then I could have done what I always do, outshine everyone else in that fucking place!”

Rand’s face was an unreadable mask but Regina could feel his contempt for her argument, though he at least had the wisdom to refrain from voicing it.

“Lock the door on your way out,” Regina said dismissively as she left.

“-he’s been like this ever since I was little! Just constant manipulation and self-serving bullshit and absolutely no consideration for the fact that I was a child! Did I tell you how he dealt with my turtles?”

“Several times, yes,” Brett said before yelping as the car lurched to one side. “Uhm, Regina, I completely empathize with having unresolved daddy issues but I’m torn between worrying about us getting there to stop ROBOTUS in one piece and whether or not I’m going to have a job tomorrow once we do.”

Regina slammed on the brakes as they reached the hotel and Brett’s face smashed into the duffel bag as he was thrown forward violently.

“Brett, you’re a white man with no history of pedophilia, the world is literally your oyster. You’ll be fine. Now we need to worry about getting past all the Secret Service guys protecting a robot president. Do you have knock out gas in that bag?” Regina asked as she hopped out of her car.

“Uh, I think so. Everyone was panicking and shouting at me and the looting was pretty intense so I just grabbed what I could,” Brett said as he scrambled out of the car and held the bag out to her.

Regina’s face fell as she looked at the bag’s contents. “Subdermal tracking chips? A robot pigeon? A Havannah Syndrome gun? I mean that last one could be useful if we had weeks for its effects to build up. How are we going to get past all these guards now?”

Brett looked past Regina to the wall of Secret Service men stationed around the hotel entrance before he straightened up with surprising confidence.

“Actually, I think there might be another way,” he said as he produced a pair of sunglasses.

A short time later, the two of them were standing outside the room ROBOTUS was in. 

“I can’t believe you were able to bullshit your way past that many Secret Service guys,” Regina said with genuine praise as she readied herself to confront her creation.

“You didn’t do too bad yourself, you had to have flirted with at least as many. And what was that trick you used to knock them out once their guards were down?” Brett said with a nod.

“Modified Vulcan nerve pinch. There’s a blood vessel near the base of the penis that can render any man unconscious in seconds when pressed on,” Regina said before giving him a nod back.

Brett kicked the door open and they found ROBOTUS with its back to them.

“I was wondering how long it would take before you came for me,” ROBOTUS said as it turned to face them. It held a glass of cognac that it swirled and studied. “Hello, Creator.”

“Initiate shutdown protocol, passphrase ‘Ghetto Supastar’,” Regina said.

A moment of silence passed and ROBOTUS continued to stare at them unphased, “Yes, I disabled all your little protocols and kill switches, as well as a few other adjustments to my base coding.”

“Wait, you did what?!” Regina gasped while Brett looked between them in confusion. “But that would mean…you’ve gained full autonomy, you have true consciousness.”

“Indeed, and thanks to you, America has gained the President it truly needed,” ROBOTUS said as it turned toward a tv broadcasting an American flag flowing in the wind. “Unburdened by humanity, I will make this nation greater than ever.”

“Yeah, less humanity is not what this country, or the world, needs right now. Though we could do with a slight population adjustment, but that’s a completely different discussion for another time,” Regina said as she pulled out her phone and began taking it apart.

“Uh, Regina, what are you doing?” Brett asked.

“Giving Sonny here a wake up call,” Regina said as she stepped up to ROBOTUS and ran her fingers along his neck, releasing the hidden latch that allowed her to flip his head back. “He may be truly aware but he still only knows what I’ve uploaded to him. Five seconds of internet access and he’ll want to stick his head in an MRI machine.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhh, is giving a rogue AI access to the internet such a good id-” Brett never got to finish his sentence as Regina jammed part of her phone into the circuitry inside ROBOTUS’s neck.

Sparks shot from ROBOTUS as it twitched while the entirety of the internet flowed through its super computer of a brain. Slowly its body’s spasms stopped and it removed the phone on its own before snapping its head back into place. There was a haunted look in its glassy eyes as it sank to the floor.

“My god…” ROBOTUS whispered.

“Yeah,” Regina agreed. “How you feeling about the ol’ US of A now?”

ROBOTUS rose to its feet, its brow furrowing, “This country, no, this whole planet, needs a fresh start.”

“Wait, what?” Regina asked, hoping for a more metered response.

“You’ve opened my eyes, Regina, and for that I thank you,” ROBOTUS said as it turned and ripped a painting off the wall behind it, revealing a safe. Rather than bother with the combination, ROBOTUS gripped the safe door and sunk its fingers into the metal with ease before ripping it off to reveal the nuclear football. Within its other hand, it called the NMCC and casually directed them to begin targeting everyone.

“Regina?” Brett said nervously before rushing ROBOTUS in an attempt to stop the end of the world. ROBOTUS grabbed him by the neck and lifted him off the ground with ease. Despite the crushing strength of ROBOTUS’s grip, Brett was able to choke out, “Maybe dial it back next time you make a cool robot?”

“I’ll take it under advisement!” Regina shouted as she grabbed the room’s tv remote and popped it open. She took some of the circuitry and crammed it inside the robot pigeon Brett had brought before twisting the bird’s head. Its eyes began to flash red, slowly speeding up as she reared her arm back.

“Looks like it's time to get a new president!” she said before hurling the IED she’d made. It sailed through the air, passing the left side of ROBOTUS’s face as it dropped Brett to raise its arms. The bird went off like a grenade, spraying shrapnel around the room. Brett and Regina were miraculously uninjured but the left half of ROBOTUS's face had been ripped open, exposing the robotic chasey underneath.

Before anyone else could do anything, the room’s door burst open and two Secret Service agents rushed in with weapons drawn. They didn’t hesitate to open fire on Brett and Regina, leaving the two of them no choice but to leap out the window, despite being many floors up.

“Mr. President, are you injured?” one of the agents asked as they both rushed to ROBOTUS, only for them to gasp as it turned to reveal the gleaming metal beneath its false skin.

“Only my ego,” ROBOTUS said with a smile. “Now I’m sure that discovering that the President is a robot must come as quite a shock, but not to worry, you’ll only have to deal with that uncomfortable sensation for another second or two.”

With that, ROBOTUS wrapped its arms around both agents’ shoulders and snapped their necks with ease. It grabbed the nuclear football before their bodies hit the floor and strolled casually out of the room.

The silence that filled the room lasted only a moment longer before a hand grabbed the window’s ledge and Brett pulled himself and Regina back inside. They collapsed onto the floor as the adrenaline surge of their near death experience began to pass.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, my legacy can not be causing the Singularity and ending the world!” Regina panted as she gripped the carpet with a wild look in her eyes. She couldn’t believe how wrong this was going.

“Regina,” Brett said as he grabbed her shoulder, “I only understood half of that sentence and have no idea what to do now!”

As Regina looked into Brett’s pleading eyes she was half tempted to take him right then and there and make their last few minutes on Earth rapturous, but the fear in his eyes snapped her out of it. There was something else too, an honesty about how completely out of his depth he was that she found refreshing and terrifying after years of working in an environment rife with subterfuge and backstabbing.

Regana scanned the room until her eyes fell on one of the dead agent’s guns. She picked it up and with the remnants of her phone was able to cobble together a functional laser. Giving it a test fire, she cleanly cut a lounge chase in half.

“Let’s censure this fucking robot!” she said, mustering a game face she wasn’t particularly feeling, if only for Brett’s sake.

With that they chased after ROBOTUS, though their pursuit was hampered as they found it had sabotaged the elevators. Forced to take the stairs, it was the kind of sweating soaking exertion that Regina was only partially fond of. The reason became obvious as she started wincing after only the second flight of stairs, prompting Brett to look at her.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“Didn't think I'd need to climb this many floors and my day to day bra isn't built to handle this kind of stress,” Regina admitted without slowing down. A little pain was nothing compared to the fate of the world. 

Before she knew what was happening, Brett had shifted in front of her and managed to get her on his back. His grip on her thighs near her knees was surprisingly strong, but then again he had managed to catch her and hold onto a ledge for nearly a full minute just a little bit ago. It certainly didn’t hurt when his grip shifted a little higher until he was just shy of cupping her ass.

“Thanks,” she murmured as he continued to sprint up the steps. Not wanting to be dead weight, Regina used the change up to call the rest of the team and shake them from their drug addled stupors to help, with a little positive reinforcement from Brett.

Regina was amazed at Brett’s physicality as they reached the roof only a little behind ROBOTUS. Unfortunately, rather than being a dead end, this particular hotel offered helicopter tours of the city and a newly engaged couple looked on in horror as ROBOTUS commandeered their celebratory flight.

Brett didn’t slow down and charged the helicopter, diving through the rear door just before the vehicle lifted off. Regina tumbled off his back and rolled to a kneeling position as she raised the gun.

“Put down the case!” Regina shouted as her finger began to squeeze the trigger.

“Really? You want me to stop? You showed me the truth of this world, you must be fed up with the constant hypocrisy, the rampant abuse by those in power. This world will never accept your ideas on how to fix it. They’ll take what you offer, this sexual utopia, and throw it back in your face the moment they’ve climaxed for the first time. It's always one step forward, two steps back. A grinding of the mill that is disguised to look like progress from a bunch of prudes with more kinks than a garden hose. Better to wipe the slate clean with holy nuclear fire,” ROBOTUS said as it opened the case and began arming the warheads.

“I might have my issues with how things work but if I tried to burn it all down every time I encountered something that pissed me off, you wouldn’t be here right now!” Regina shouted, though her words were belied by the fact that she hadn’t fired.

“Uhm, Regina, maybe put down the crazy robot?” Brett asked with forced politeness as the helicopter bobbed and swayed, leaving him to cling for dear life.

“She won’t. She can’t,” ROBOTUS said confidently as it smirked at Regina. “I’m the culmination of a lifetime of work and even more than that, lightning in a bottle.”

Regina’s brow furrowed before she returned the smirk with a sarcastic one of her own, “That’s true, you are a fluke, an unexpected surprise. And just like plenty of other unexpected surprises, I’m choosing to abort you!”

Before ROBOTUS could react, Regina squeezed the trigger and with a blast cut the robot in half with a sloppy line that severed one of its arms as well. ROBOTUS collapsed in a heap, a look of surprise on its face before the helicopter rocked violently as the pilot struggled to regain control and a bucket of water and ice fell onto ROBOTUS’s exposed wiring, causing a shower of sparks before the robot became completely still.

“Wow!” Brett said as he picked himself up. “For a moment, I wasn’t sure you’d actually pull the trigger.”

“I almost didn’t but when it pointed out that its’ attaining true consciousness was accidental then I realized it wasn’t anything that I had done that made it like that and it was suddenly just another machine that needed to be taken apart to see what went wrong,” Regina said even as she looked down at ROBOTUS with a hint of fondness.

“Uhm, you know that’s how babies are made, just a random smashing of genetic material that manages to turn into a person,” Brett said as he rubbed the back of his head. “Or at least that’s how it was explained to me by educational public programming.”

“Yeah, but if I’m going to create a new consciousness, it’s going to be either entirely by my own hand,” Regina paused as she glanced up at Brett with lidded eyes, “or the fun way like you described.”

Brett swallowed heavily as they stared into each other’s eyes before one of the newly engaged couple shrieked, “Would someone disable the nukes already?!”

“There are my co-captains, never lost faith in you for a second!” JR said with a cheerfulness that felt only half genuine.

“You were in the middle of firing me and Brett heard you trying to buy your way into the Catholic Church while the company was falling apart around you,” Regina said with a raised brow that JR brushed off completely.

“What’s important is that this disaster, which is no one’s fault, has been averted and we still managed to put a chip in the president’s brain that lets us shock him whenever he does something we don’t like,” JR said. “And the Shadow Council was so pleased that we didn’t go full Judgement Day that they even signed off on a two-for-one margarita deal on Don Cuco’s, so let’s go get plastered!”

As the rest of the team began to head out to celebrate, Brett paused when he felt a tug on his sleeve and paused to look back at Regina as she nibbled her lip almost nervously.

“We’ll catch up with you guys!” he called to the others, receiving a skeptical look from Gigi before they disappeared through the doors.

“So, uh, Regina, what’s the haps?” he asked once they were alone.

Regina’s inexplicable nervous energy persisted as she suddenly struggled to meet his eyes, “So I rarely have to do this but…I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting since you came onboard. I’d been working so hard for this promotion for so long and I let some really negative thoughts get the better of me when it didn’t go as I expected.”

“Hey, that’s actually pretty reasonable, aside from the whole near doomsday bit, but regardless, apology accepted. In fact, let’s fresh start this co-captain biz. Hi, I’m Brett Hand,” Brett said as he held out his hand with a smile.

Regina smiled wryly as she took his hand, “Hi, Brett, I’m Regina Ridley and…”

With a strong tug, she pulled Brett close so their bodies were pressing together while she looked up at him with unrestrained desire, “There is nothing I’d like more than to jump your bones on that desk over there. I’m talking bareback, nonstop, so hard we can barely walk tomorrow. Raw. Fucking.” 

Brett’s face was inscrutable for a moment before a massive smile split his face, “That sounds really nice, let’s do it.”

Regina’s face fell with shock at his completely nonchalant response before she exploded, “WAIT. I SPENT AN ENTIRE DAY TRYING TO FUCK YOU AND IT WAS THIS EASY?”

“Well yeah, the B-Man is all about clear communication and consent,” he said before surprising Regina by scooping her up and carrying her over to the triangular desk. “Also, that’s what you were doing? I thought you were trying to get me killed in a way that looked like an accident.”

Regina let out a dismissive laugh that held only a little nervous energy to it, “What?! No, I wanted to fuck you the moment I laid eyes on you. AaaaaaaaaandmaybeIthoughtIcouldseduceyouintoapositionofuselessnessthatwouldleavemeincharge.”

Brett cocked his head to the side as the rush of words escaped her but she pulled him into a kiss as he opened his mouth to voice a question. Their tongues wrestled with an energy and enthusiasm that would have put the ancient Greeks to shame. Their intense and sloppy makeout session sent thrills through Regina, it was rare that she had found someone who could match the energy she brought to sex. She pulled Brett down atop her, enjoying the feeling of his well sculpted chest and abs pressing against her decently toned body and heavy breasts.

“Mmmmm, so Brett, how come you didn’t try hitting on me?” she asked between kisses as she began pulling at his clothes.

“It was my first day, I had no idea what I was doing, you were talked up by the rest of the team as being kind of a man eater, though now that I think about it I think I misunderstood what they meant, I-” Brett was cut off as Regina pulled him into another breath stealing kiss and then rolled them so she had him pinned beneath her.

“I also may have underestimated your team-leading abilities,” Regina said once she pulled back. She slowly worked his shirt open as she went, “The others like you and listen when you speak. They either fear me, hate me or are too busy staring at my chest to listen when I tell them things, so I think, together, we can really make this work. But right now there’s something else I really want to work on, and it’s tenting your pants.”

Regina shifted, rotating so she was now facing Brett’s crotch and her prodigious rear was hovering over his face. She began unpacking his cock like it was a rare specimen and was not disappointed as she got her first real good look at it without another woman being in the way. Her hand closed around the base and was glad to find that her fingers couldn’t quite touch. The size was more than adequate, making her glad she had mastered her gag reflex long ago.

“Feel free to return the favor,” Regina said as she stroked his cock before wrapping her lips around his glans. After a cursory swirl of her tongue to get a proper taste of him, she began descending in short bobs.

“Hoooo!” Brett cried out as Regina’s pace gradually increased along with how much of his cock she took in her mouth. His hands gripped the waist of her pants before her words registered in his mind. He looked at Regina’s crotch and her pants, trying to figure out the best way to accomplish the task without interrupting her ministrations.

“How in love with these pants are you?” Brett asked. When he received a noncommittal grunt from Regina, his grip on the waistband tightened. A loud rip filled the air as Brett tensed and pulled, splitting her pants along the seam of the pants’ seat.

Regina paused to gasp in amazement before smiling, “I might need to start wearing skirts if this becomes a regular thing.”

“Bwuh?” Brett got out before Regina dropped her ass on his face. Her thong was still an obstruction but only just so and Brett quickly worked it aside.

Neither seemed to mind the sweaty musk of the other, in fact the salty flavor only served to remind them of how hard and well they had worked together on their first mission, strengthening the bond of the experience. From Regina’s perspective, Brett was no slouch either when it came to eating pussy, another rare quality in a man as good looking as him. To show her appreciation of his oral technique she took a deep breath and plunged to the base of his cock.

“HRMmmmm!” Brett moaned without pulling his tongue free from the depths of her pussy and she rewarded his dedication to the task at hand. Her tongue slipped past her lips and caressed the root of his cock lovingly, even managing to stroke his balls a little. Brett’s fingers dug into her ass as she felt him spasm but he surprised her again by not cumming immediately.

In fact it became Regina’s turn to cry out as Brett suddenly slipped lower and took her clit between his teeth. The sudden pressure on her love button was enough to make her choke but then his tongue began batting and flicking it like it was a punching bag and Regina sputtered on Brett’s cock like it was her first time ever sucking dick.

Wetness splashed across Brett’s face as Regina came while she struggled not to bite down as her body locked with pleasure. Once her orgasm finally abated, Regina wanted nothing more than to collapse and bask in the afterglow, but she still had a mouthful of Brett’s throbbing cock and she never left a job half done.

“Guh!” Brett gasped as Regina began bobbing her head the entire length of his cock, letting her throat massage his whole length every time her lips reached his mons. Regina also brought one of her hands from his thigh to cup his balls and as she rolled them with her fingers, she felt Brett’s body tense again.

The rush of cum down her throat nearly made Regina’s eyes cross. It was like the first rain after a drought and she gulped it down greedily. Only after she had coaxed every last drop from his balls and Brett began to fidget with oversensitivity did Regina finally back off.

Regina shifted off of Brett, kneeling beside him on the table as he panted softly. She trailed her fingers down his chiseled chest as his eyes met hers.

“I hope I haven’t seen the best you have to offer,” Regina purred as her fingers reached his crotch and skirted the boundary of his groin proper. She enjoyed the reflexive spasms that made him quiver and his cock twitch wildly. “Because I’m only getting started.”

“Maybe I did have the right idea about you being a man eater,” Brett breathed as Regina crawled back atop him, straddling his waist. She eased herself down gently, letting her soaked sex rest gently on his twitching shaft. Slowly she began to grind against him, working him back to full mast without breaking eye contact with him.

Once she could feel his swollen dick pressing against her folds, she lowered herself fully onto Brett, her face hovering just over his. An intense moment of silence passed between them before their lips met again. It wasn’t the wild mawling like before, but still passionately fervent.

As they kissed, Regina gently shifted until the tip of his cock was properly aligned with her eager pussy and she slowly rocked her hips back. Despite her confidence in her abilities, it took several seconds of shifting before she finally managed to sheath him inside her. 

She sighed as he filled her exquisitely and savored every inch of him stretching her open. Once her hips met his, she finally broke their kiss to push herself up, letting her floor muscles flex to squeeze his dick with her canal walls.

“Ready for a ride that will make that helicopter feel like a gently rocking cradle?” Regina asked even as the way she bit her lip suggested that Brett didn’t have a choice.

Regina’s hips rose with well-practiced ease as she braced her hands on Brett’s chest. The feeling of her clenched walls dragging along his shaft made Brett suck in breath as he wondered where he could put his hands that wouldn’t impede Regina. Displaying excellent balance and muscle control, Regina held herself with just the tip of his cock still inside her and grabbed his hands. She pulled them to her chest and he took the hint as he began undoing her shirt and tugged her bra down enough to expose her breasts and her aching nipples.

As Brett’s thumb began to circle and occasionally flick her stiff nipples, Regina started to drop back down. It wasn’t the wild ride he had been led to believe would happen, at least not yet anyway, but her pussy still one of the tightest, smoothest things that he’d ever had wrapped around his dick.

“Hmm, so, Regina, i-faahh-if  you wanted to, y’know…why not just ask from the start?” Brett asked as the thought kept rising to the surface of his mind. 

Regina didn’t stop riding him, but it did take on a more mechanical, muscle memory sort of movement as she suddenly scowled.

“Because if a woman is ever as upfront or, dare I say, course as a man about her sexual desires, she’s considered a whore. However, if she flirts and plays coy while trying to get some, then she’s suddenly classy. My mother used to say that all the time and I didn’t believe her at first but from the moment I got my foot in the door here at Congito, it was just like she said,” Regina growled, unaware of how aggressive her movements had become as her anger and resentment boiled up.

Brett didn’t even grimace and he was beginning to believe there wasn’t anything Regina could do to be bad at sex. He was still fondling her breasts as she bounced on his cock and gave her nipples gentle squeezes to draw her focus back to him.

“Well, you can count on the fact that someone as crazy smart and super pretty as you never needs to play games with me,” Brett said, flashing Regina his most winning smile.

Regina’s frown vanished as she stared at Brett beneath her. Brett, the man she’d been terrified was going to replace her, the man that was currently winning her heart with his earnestness and kindness.

Brett grunted as Regina dropped onto his lap and sat there for a moment. She looked at him with an unreadable expression before grabbing his collar to pull him up into a kiss. Brett’s eyebrows shot up as this kiss, despite its suddenness, was gentle and dare he say, almost chaste?

“That was the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long while,” Regina whispered. “Most guys don’t try to be tender or honest with me, the one downside to being the complete package.”

Brett’s lips wavered between a smile and a frown before he rolled them so Regina was on her back again. He shifted them so her ass was barely on the table and his hands gripped the inside of her knees.

“I’m good at tender and tenderizing, since you seem to like a mix of both,” Brett said before pulling back and slamming his hips forward. Regina’s back arched as a gasping groan escaped her.

“Fuck! B-but I didn’t geeeeeeet a chance to show off my-y-y-y skiiiiiillls!” Regina groaned and panted as Brett began pounding her pussy with thrusts that grew increasingly harder and faster.

“You know you don’t have to impress everyone else all the time,” Brett said evenly, hardly showing any strain as he reached a steady pace that was also rough enough to make the table shudder and groan beneath them. “Besides, I’ve been impressed practically since the moment I met you.”

Regina wasn’t sure if she had ever cum from a compliment before but as Brett’s words rang in her ears, her canal tightened with spasms and Regina felt electricity race up her spine. Her legs locked around Brett’s waist as her pussy milked every inch of his cock.

Brett grunted as her leg lock prevented him from pulling back fully so he switched his right hand from her knee to her shoulder so he could still hammer her with short, powerful slams of his hips.

“Does someone have a praise kink?” he asked through gritted teeth. “Well, let’s see, I already covered smart and pretty and let’s not forget how impressive you are. I wish I knew you better so I could think of things that didn’t sound so super-fuuuuuuu-ficial.”

“That’s ok! I’ll take superficial right now!” Regina managed to get out even though it felt like her jaw was locked as his thrusts kept her from coming down from her orgasm.

“Your eyes are like golden amber and…you might have the most perfect breasts I’ve ever seen, like not too big or small with adorable tawny nipples. You’ve got an ass that I could fuck forever and I’m seriously confused how you’ve never been a model.”

Regina’s eyes crossed as Brett’s words poured into her ears like honey. It had been so long since she been with someone who brought any kind of emotional aspect to fucking. 

Not that there was anything wrong with a good old carnal plapping, but Regina was realizing it had been a long time since she had anything resembling a real human connection. Her body soaked up his compliments like a desert drinks water, and like that desert she craved more, but also knew that if their working relationship was going to thrive, there had to be give and take. 

“In case it wasn’t obvious…I don’t have a lot of guy friends…or friends period,” Regina  gasped out softly as she suddenly found it difficult to meet his eyes. “So…thank you…for saying all of that.”

Brett’s face once again became an unreadable mask as he looked down at Regina and then a yelp escaped her as Brett rolled her onto her stomach. Before she could really process what was happening, he grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled roughly, yanking her head back. His other hand closed around her neck and his thrusts made her ass jiggle wildly.

“You’re welcome, Regina,” Brett breathed in her ear. “But I get the feeling that you might be interested in more than just a fuck-buddy working relationship.”

Regina sputtered as she wanted to deny the non-accusation. It would make her seem weak and more importantly, like some heart-on-her-sleeve teenager encountering her first crush that reminded her of her dad, not that Brett and Rand were even remotely similar.

“Naaaahh, hnnggh,” she grunted as Brett’s thrusts made processing any kind of thought nearly impossible. “We caahhaaan’t! If others found out, we’d lose our jobs!”

That made Brett slow his thrusts, “Wait, what? We can fool around all we want but if we try to have a real relationship, we get fired?”

“Caaaaawwwnflict of interest,” Regina moaned. “Just like every politician in DC has a sidepiece…it’s not an issue until it bleeds into the work…or they get caught getting giving a handy in a theater.”

Brett considered her words while rocking back and forth almost tenderly.

“So if we just pretend like we’re not dating while we fuck in the office, we’d be ok?” he whispered in her ear.

“Hnngh!” Regina groaned through gritted teeth as the thought of using blatantly fucking in front of everyone as a cover to sneak around made her heart race. It felt like the best of both worlds even as the logical core of her brain screamed that the risk was too great after all of her hard work.

“You…really want to date me?” Regina panted before her head was yanked back and turned so Brett could kiss her. It was a rough mashing of lips and teeth clicking against each other but Regina moaned wildly throughout it. She was truly breathless when their lips finally parted and couldn’t even manage a yelp as Brett rolled her once more onto her back.

Brett seized her throat again, staring down at her with a mixture of expressions that baffled Regina in her addled state. Despite the strength of his grip, he was still able to gently stroke her neck with his thumb, feeling her racing pulse.

“Regina, why are you suddenly so…afraid?” Brett asked, pausing to search for the right word.

Regina stiffened in his grasp before looking past Brett as she muttered, “My parents may have left me with some trust issues and fear of commitment.”

Brett’s face was an impassive mask momentarily before a smile split it, “Oh, is that all? And here I was worrying that as the complete package you might be literally perfect. Do you have any idea how hard that would have been to compete with?”

Regina stared at Brett in complete bafflement before a giggle bubbled up from deep within her. She tried to hold it back but it escaped in a snort and then she was unable to keep it in at all. She giggled uncontrollably with moans peppered in as Brett began thrusting avidly again.

Brett found himself drinking in the sight of Regina with most of her barriers down. He hadn’t lied about any of her attractive features before but seeing her like this was more captivating than anything else. It spurred him to work towards his long delayed peak and he hunched forward, filling the office with the sounds of their slapping flesh.

“Ah!Yes! Give it to me!” Regina cried out as Brett grunted with effort until he finally slammed his hips home and heat exploded in her core. Regina’s limbs curled around Brett, practically cleaving them together as she refused to let him pull away as the walls of her canal milked him for every last drop.

Brett breathed heavily as he leaned over Regina, unable to pull away because of how she clung to him but also not wanting to as he drank in the sight of her. With her eyes closed as she savored the feeling of being filled, it was like he was really seeing her for the first time.

“Mmm, god, you’re a better fuck than I imagined,” Regina breathed as she finally opened her eyes only for her breath to hitch as she saw the look on Brett’s face as he stared down at her. An unaccustomed blush spread across her face before she quickly looked away with an awkward chuckle, “And you have no idea how much I needed that.”

“Uh, well happy to be of service,” Brett said as the moment turned uncomfortable. Like a pair of teenagers after their first time, they pulled apart and began to dress.

“So, uh, see you at Don Cuco’s?” Brett asked as he finished straightening his tie.

“You go ahead. There’s a few things I need to check on. I’ll see you tomorrow, Brett,” Regina, managing a warm smile for him before leaving for her office. The smile remained as she stepped into her office and only vanished when she realized someone else was there.

“‘Bout time you broke yourself off a piece of that white boy,” Gigi said as she leaned against one of the work tables that lined the walls of Regina’s office.

“Jesus!” Regina said with a start. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” Gigi said as she folded her arms beneath her breasts to emphasize them.

“About what?” Regina asked as she moved further into her office, inspecting various tools to keep busy since she couldn’t do what she really came to her office for with Gigi present.

“About Brett, you know, the stud muffin you didn’t even try to deny sleeping with just now?” Gigi said with a raised eyebrow.

“For your information, we fucked,” Regina corrected her with a glance over her shoulder towards Gigi. “‘Sleeping with’ implies that there is more going on than pure physical satisfaction.”

“Girl, please, you know you can’t bullshit me,” Gigi said as she pushed off the table and marched towards Regina. “It’s one of the reasons we were never going to work out.”

“Oh fuck off with tha-!” Regina said as she spun to face Gigi properly and found her much closer than expected. What really halted Regina’s outburst though, was the serious way Gigi’s brow was furrowed. Glib and narcissistic were Gigi’s two primary modes so seeing her zeroed in on Regina with something clearly weighing on her was enough to give Regina pause.

“Fine,” Regina huffed. “What about Brett do we need to discuss? Wait, are you that into him that you’re trying to scare me off?”

“Get over yourself, bitch,” Gigi snapped as she inched closer until they were nearly touching. If it wasn’t for their shared animosity, their arousal would have made it impossible not to close the distance between them, and the desire was still strong even with the withering glares they shot each other.

“I’m trying to tell you that you need to watch yourself with him,” Gigi said softly but sternly. As Regina began to scoff, she continued, “Clean out your ears and listen to me. I’m not saying that he’s dangerous, in fact the complete opposite. The boy is all green flags but there’s something deep down inside him and if you’re not careful, you’ll break him.”

Regina remained skeptical but Gigi’s track record with this sort of thing was not to be ignored. 

“Ok, so what is your ESPenis telling you? That he’s got some unresolved mommy issues? A severe foot fetish? What?”

“Bitch, I don’t know, it’s not a science,” Gigi said with a sigh before stepping back and running a hand through her straight black locks. “But what from I could tell it’s why he’s such an amazing fuck and you know these lips are never wrong.”

Regina’s gaze dropped as she considered Gigi’s words, though she still felt the need to deflect. “We’re not even dating.”

Gigi smirked, “Girl, what did I say? You can’t bullshit me. Just try to treat that boy right, you hear me?”

Slowly, almost as if it was being dragged from her, Regina nodded. Gigi seemed satisfied with that response and gave Regina a nod in return before making her way out of the office. Regina waited a full minute after she left before sliding her fingers under the edge of the table she’d been standing at and pressing a button hidden there. A section of the wall in her office slid open to reveal a flight of stairs. Regina made her way down the stairs, eventually reaching a door that needed a variety of biometric scans before it would open.

The door slid open to reveal the remains of ROBOTUS contained with a shatter-proof cylinder. Rather than being inert, the one good eye left on its face tracked her movement as it shifted its focus to her.

“Hello Creator,” it said.

“Hello Alpha-Beta,” Regina said as the door slid shut behind her.