Painting These Streets Blue | By : moviefan Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > Het - Male/Female > Katara/Zuko Views: 436 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I own nothing. |
(A/N: Here we go, my next story. After the surprising popularity of my story One Night For The Avatar and the love it received, I received a number of requests for a sequel. Well, my friends, I have heard you pleas and... sorry, not sequel. But I do present you with this new one that I was inspired to write based on the requests I received. If you liked that one, you'll probably like this one. In truth, this was actually meant to be a one-shot, but then it kept going and going and going, until it turned into a rather lengthy story that. So, rather than split it into chapters, I'm going to release it into four different parts. This here is the first part, and I'll update it soon with the next part. Fair warning though, some of you might find the subject matter to be... sensitive, lets say. By which I mean it enters the realm of dubious consent. Not non-con, and I wouldn't even go as far as to actually label it as dubious, just that some stuff may happen in it that you may frown upon. So there, you have your warning, though I don't even think it's necessary, as it's really only something that you may not approve of. I don't want to say any more so I avoid spoilers, but I'll explain more at the end of this installment. Oh, and just for the record, the characters ages are reimagined so they're all of age, so keep that in mind. Ok then, enjoy.)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"PAINTING THESE STREETS BLUE"
Part 1
It was a night just like so many others. Or at least as most nights had become for Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. Not that anyone would recognize him as such in his current attire, but that was the whole reason for his state of dress; to not be recognized.
Things were supposed to have gotten better for him after he returned home and regained his honor, but they didn’t, not really. He’d thought that things would go back to the way they were before his banishment, but they hadn’t. Or more specifically, they couldn’t. Things had changed, he had changed, and his homeland was not the place he remembered.
Or maybe it was and his eyes had just been opened to what he had failed to see before. There was no doubt that his nation was great and powerful, but it was also deeply flawed and full of corruption everywhere he looked. Had things really changed so much when he’d been away, or had they always been this way and he had just been too blind, to naïve, to see it? In the end though, he supposed it didn’t matter. Whether the Fire Nation had changed or whether it had always been this way and he had been too ignorant to notice, something needed to be done.
And he had to be the one to do it, because clearly no one else would. Going to his father or any of the officials wouldn’t do any good, he knew that. They’d had years to take care of things, yet had done nothing. Or worse, had contributed to the corruption. And, much to his shame, he could also admit to himself that he was afraid to speak against his father’s rule. After all, the man had left Zuko a permanent reminder on his face of what happened if he should disrespect his father and Fire Lord, even unintentionally.
So he decided to do what he could behind the scenes, from within the shadows. After making himself a new mask, he had once again begun taking on the guise of the Blue Spirit, going out most nights to do what he could where he could for who he could. Most of this included helping those in need and tracking down illegal or unjust dealings going on in the city in an attempt to put an end to the corruption. He had all but become a vigilantly. It wasn’t easy, and it cost him a great deal of sleep, but he was determined to help his nation and his people however he could. If not as Prince Zuko, then as the Blue Spirit.
He’d been at it for nearly a year now, doing what he could where he could. Tonight, he was attempting to put a stop to a drug deal. Apparently, one of the higher ups in the government had an opium trade, and had been preying off the poorer sections of the Fire Nation by pushing drugs on the people to get them addicted. He was having those on his payroll move a big shipment of the drug tonight, and Zuko fully intended to put a stop to it. All he had to do was take out the people on sight, non-fatally of course, destroy the product, and gather whatever evidence he could to find out which official was at the top of this.
It hadn’t gone well. He’d managed to slip in an destroy the drugs, but it seemed that whoever was in charge had greatly increased security. Probably because of him. As such, he hadn’t been able to gather any evidence, so he had settled on disposing of the opium supplies and calling it a night. But not even that had gone according to plan.
It turned out that the security was even greater than he initially thought. The moment he had destroyed the supplies, they had been everywhere, and he’d had no choice but to flee. But as good as he was, he was only one man, and had been greatly outnumbered. And they were all Firebenders, where while he was one too, he relied on his duo blades. As far as everyone knew, at least those who thought he was just a man in disguise and not the actual Blue Spirit, he was a non-Bender. He allowed them to think that; it was part of his disguise.
But not using his Firebending meant relying on physical combat. And against those who could create and control fire, that was a major disadvantage. As such, he eventually found himself cornered by his pursuers down a back alley. With nowhere left to go, he had turned and prepared to fight.
“End of the line, Blue Spirit,” one of the men sneered.
“I knew he wasn’t a real spirit,” another chuckled. “He’s just playing pretend. Rather blasphemous, don’t you think, pretending to be a spirit. What would the real one think of someone impersonating him? Maybe if we take him out, the real Blue Spirit will provide us with his blessings.”
Zuko’s grip on his swords tightened. He had more important things to worry about than any possible divine judgment for impersonating a spirit. If he was caught, something told him he would be facing a punishment far worse than what happened when he had received his scar. He wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up sharing a cell with his uncle, and that would probably be the least of his worries. He had no choice but to fight his way out.
But then something happened. A mist suddenly came spilling into the alley, making it difficult to see. And while a feeling of relief overcame Zuko, the men that had cornered him began looking around nervously.
“Up there, look!” one of them cried, pointing to the rooftop. “It’s the Painted Lady.”
Zuko glanced up as well, and sure enough, the woman in question stood above them. He knew that, like him, she was a spirit impersonator, only far more people believed her to be the actual spirit rather than someone just pretending to be the actual Painted Lady. But then, it was easier to get people to believe such a thing when you could creatively Waterbend the way she could; like making this mist for example.
With a fancy arm motion, she sent a trail of water down that immediately hardened into ice. Zuko didn’t so much as hesitate as he leapt up onto the makeshift ramp she had created for him, his feet finding the placements she had courteously made in it so he wouldn’t slip as he ran up the ice ramp. And the moment he joined her on the roof, the ice melted into water once more and disappeared in the Painted Lady’s waterskin. Then they immediately took off, jumping from rooftop to rooftop as the angry cries of those that had cornered him faded out behind them.
“You’re late,” he told her, deliberately changing the sound of his voice.
“I had trouble getting away,” she replied as they ran along. “You should have waited for me; I said I’d be here.”
“They were about to move the shipment, so I had to act while I could.”
“And you almost got yourself caught in the process. See what happens when you do things without me.”
Even though she was technically scolding him for going in alone, there was a playful teasing in her tone. Zuko ignored it, allowing her to believe that she really had saved him. Which, technically, she did, but her assistance hadn’t been absolutely necessary. He was fairly certain he could have fought his way out, and if he had really been left with no choice, he could have resorted to his Firebending. Still, he was grateful for her help.
This wasn’t the first time they had worked together. Far from it, they had actually been a team, for lack of a better word, for several months now. It had started almost a year ago, just a few weeks after he had once again taken up the mantle of the Blue Spirit. The two of them had had their first encounter while breaking up a child trafficking ring. While taking down those involved, they’d run into each other, and, recognizing their mutual goals, had worked together to put an end to the vile business.
Prior to that, Zuko had heard stories of the Painted Lady. People spoke of a benevolent spirit that appeared to help those in need and punish the wicked. Those stories had, in fact, helped inspire him to become the Blue Spirit once more. It hadn’t occurred to him that their paths might cross though.
Until he had seen her, he hadn’t known if she was the actual Painted Lady or just a pretender like him, but as they sought to put an end to those involved with the child trafficking ring, it became apparent that she was indeed human. Not just human, but a Waterbender, and she was using her Bending to make it look like she had spiritual powers. The actual Painted Lady may have been a water spirit, but he recognized Waterbending when he saw it. Her deception didn’t bother him though. She was doing what she did to help others, and that was good enough for him.
After they had successfully taken down the traffic ring though and had fled the scene, she had approached him. This had caught Zuko off guard, as when they had realized that they were on the same side and started fighting together, he hadn’t thought of what might happen beyond that. He certainly hadn’t anticipated having a conversation with her, although in hindsight, he supposed he should have expected it.
“Thank you for your help,” she said, lowering her head in a formal bow.
He had simply cocked his head to the side. As the Blue Spirit, he thought it best not to talk, this way he could never give anything about himself away. Many spirits chose not to speak anyway, or simply couldn’t, so there shouldn’t be anything suspicious about that.
“You’re the Blue Spirit, right?” she asked, and he gave her a nod, causing her to smile. “I heard about you. You’ve been doing a lot to help everyone.”
As she stepped closer, he got a better look at her and had to hold back a gasp. With her this close, he recognized her as the Avatar’s Waterbending teacher, Katara. The transparent veil and the makeup she wore served to help hide her features, but for someone that knew her, there was no mistaking her, and he felt his stomach clench with unease. The last time he had seen her was when he had betrayed her and sided with his sister back in Ba Sing Se.
As he processed all this, she too did her own assessment of him and frowned. “You’re not the Blue Spirit,” she said, pulling him out of his thoughts. He cocked his head to the side again in question. “Not the real one I mean. As in, not the actual spirit; you’re just wearing a mask and pretending to be him.”
He took a step back at that, afraid his cover would be blown. The Avatar had seen his face back when he had freed him from Zhao, only doing so in order to capture him for himself later. If Katara was the Painted Lady, and if the Avatar had told her who he was, then this could end very badly.
It seemed she misread his retreat though, as she quickly held up her hands. “Hey, it’s ok. I’m not going to smite you for impersonating a spirit or anything. The truth is… I’m not actually the real Painted Lady either. I’m just pretending to be her so I can help people.” Smiling, she lowered her hands. “I actually think I got her blessing for impersonating her in light of what I was doing I saw her once, the real one, and that was the impression I got.”
She was showing no signs of hostility, and even seemed to be interested in speaking with him. If that were the case, then the Avatar must not have told her that he was the Blue Spirit. She certainly wouldn’t be conversing with him the way she was if she knew it was him behind this mask. That or if the Avatar had told her that he was the Blue Spirit then she was assuming that he was simply someone else who had also chosen to impersonate the Blue Spirit.
“I think it’s great that you’re trying to help the Fire Nation’s people,” she went on to say. She looked out at the city with a melancholic look on her face. “The Fire Nation may be the enemy of the world, but most of its people are just innocent bystanders. I can’t stand to see those in need suffer at the greedy hands of those in power.”
His father and sister being two of those people. He knew good and well that Katara and her companions were aiming to take them down. He also knew that the Avatar was still alive. It had been why he had sent that assassin after him, a powerful Firebender who had learned to focus his Firebending in a way that allowed him to blow things up with his head. That plan, apparently, hadn’t gone over well, as the assassin had yet to return with proof of the Avatar’s death.
Deciding that it would be best to take his leave, he leapt from one rooftop to the next and put his swords away. Katara’s attention had been drawn back to him from the sudden movement and she frowned. “You’re leaving?” At his nod, she had sighed and smiled. “Yeah, I guess you need to get back to where you need to be. I do too. But thank you for our help tonight. I’m glad we were able to save those kids. But perhaps our paths will cross again.”
As she made to leave, a jolt of panic raced through Zuko. “Don’t tell,” he called out to her, breaking his no talking rule. When she stopped and looked back at him, he realized what he had done and intentionally changed the tone of his voice so she wouldn’t recognize it as his when he spoke next. “Don’t tell anyone you met me, not even your friends, especially the Avatar.”
He didn’t know if the Avatar had mentioned anything about his rescue from Zhao to his friends. And if he did, there was no telling if he had said that Zuko rescued him, that the Blue Spirit rescued him, or that Zuko had rescued him under the guise of the Blue Spirit. It was a safe assumption that he hadn’t said the third option based on Katara’s reaction to him, but if he had told his companions either of the first two options, and if Katara mentioned to him that she had met the Blue Spirit, then the Avatar was likely to tell her his identity. If he did, whether she would assume that this Blue Spirit was the same one as the one that rescued the Avatar was up for debate, but it was a risk he couldn’t take.
This time she had been the one to cock her head to the side in question. “If you’re worried that Aang will get upset about you impersonating a spirit, you don’t have to worry. He didn’t get upset when I impersonated the Painted Lady; he even helped me with the act.”
Zuko almost wanted to groan at how she had just unintentionally given herself away as the Avatar’s traveling companion. If he hadn’t recognized her already, this would have been a dead giveaway. Instead of pointing this out though, he simply shook his head. “Tell no one.”
She stared at him for a few moments before nodding. “Alright, I promise not to tell. Truthfully, my friends don’t even know that I started going out as the Painted Lady again.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “Well, Toph might have figured it out, but she’s not telling. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”
She departed after that, and Zuko hoped that that would be the last time their paths would cross, at least as the Blue Spirit and the Painted Lady. But he should have known that that was just wishful thinking with the way they were both trying to clean up the streets; they were bound to bump into each other again. And not even a week later, they had encountered each other once more.
This time, they were attempting to put an end to a ring of forced prostitution. Like before, they bumped into each other as they attempted to free the women and take down those in charge. Working together, they had another successful night before parting ways.
The third time hadn’t been so much as run-in as it was a chance encounter. Zuko had been out patrolling when he had spotted Katara from a rooftop, making her way through the back allies. Concerned over what she would be getting herself into, he had followed and caught up with her. He’d made the mistake though of accidentally startling her when he made his presence known, and had ended up frozen to the wall as a result.
“Blue Spirit?” she said in surprise, and immediately unfroze him. “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he muttered, forgetting that he shouldn’t speak. “Why are you here?”
She sighed. “There are some soldiers that are abusing their positions to take advantage of the townsfolk. I’m here to get their stuff back and teach those soldiers a lesson.”
That had been good enough for him; he hadn’t even been aware that this was going on. And so he had assisted her in teaching those soldiers a lesson and recovering what they had taken. And when that was done, recognizing the value she had with street knowledge, he asked her to keep an ear out for any other problems going on.
The fourth time they bumped into each other had been a reverse of the last time, with her spotting and going after him. It seemed she had learned from his mistake though, taking care not to startle him as she joined him on the rooftop. That night, they had gone after an extortionist. And after that was done, they had once again regrouped down a dark alley before calling it a night.
“I know of someone who is withholding supplies from the town while forcibly charging outlandish prices,” Katara told him.
Zuko nodded in response. “Then let’s meet tomorrow and take care of that.”
At this point, he decided to no longer maintain his silence around her, though he still spoke as little as possible, and he still altered his voice. He trusted her enough though for her to have his back in what they were doing, and it did seem like she wasn’t going to talk about him to her companions. So they had met up the next night to go after those she mentioned.
Once that had been taken care of, Katara suggested that rather than randomly encountering each other that they form a partnership and meet up to handle whatever wrongdoings were going on or simply patrol the streets in search for anything that would require their intervention. And while Zuko had been reluctant to accept her proposition, he had eventually relented, acknowledging that it would be good to have a partner in this and recognizing her skills and usefulness.
That was how it had begun. They started meeting up nearly every night, taking down the corrupt and helping those in need. Since they were keeping their identities a secret from each other, they were unable to refer to each other by name. Thus, Katara had begun calling Zuko “Blue” while he referred to her as “My Lady”, never letting on that he knew who she really was.
It was a good partnership, and Zuko wondered how long things could go on like this between them. He suspected that soon enough she would want to know more about him; it was simply human nature. And that time came a month after they had officially started working as a team.
“Blue?” she asked cautiously. “I’ve been thinking, do you think it would be alright if I could see your face?”
He knew the question would come up eventually, and immediately shook his head in response. “We need to keep our identities a secret, even from each other,” he told her, even though he already knew who she was.
She frowned in response. “But wouldn’t it be better to know? This way if we need to find each other or get in contact with each other, we would know how to.”
He could see the logic in her reasoning, but he couldn’t let her know, not under any circumstances. “It’s not a good idea.”
The disappointment on her face was evident, even behind her veil. “Don’t you trust me by now?”
He let out a sigh. The truth was, he did trust her. The problem was that once she found out his identity, she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. Hell, she might even attack him where he stood. And he supposed that would be rightly deserved.
“It’s not a matter of trust. We can’t know who each other are. It’s an unnecessary risk. If one of us gets captured, we can’t tell what we don’t know.”
“I would never betray you.”
He almost scoffed at that. She may be saying that now, but he had no doubt that that would change as soon as she found out who he was. What more, he knew she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. And, truth be told, he rather enjoyed her company. He’d grown fond of her over the past month, and if he was honest, he now found himself really looking forward to their nightly escapades. He didn’t want to lose that.
But there was also a professional reason to maintain secrecy, and that was the reason he stuck to. “Have you ever been interrogated, My Lady?” At her confused look, he elaborated. “I mean truly interrogated? In a way where someone will do anything to get information out of you? Even resort to torture. If not to you, have you ever witnessed it happen to someone else? Has someone ever threatened or harmed someone you love in order to make you talk?” He shook his head. “Trust me, My Lady, if someone wanted to make you talk, you would talk.”
There was no mistaking the hurt that had flashed across her face, and he sighed. Reaching out to take her hand, he gave it a comforting squeeze. “I’m not saying this to be cruel or to scare you, just to make you aware. Even the most determine and stubborn person will break under the right kind of torture, even confess to things they don’t actually know. Some will do anything to make the torture stop, even beg to confess all they know just to be put out of their misery. I believe you when you say that you would never give away my identity, but you say that now. Under the right kind of torture, you would break; everyone will.”
He gave her as serious a look as he could from behind his mask. “But even if torture doesn’t break you, there are other ways to make a person talk. Drugs, sleep deprivation, the power of suggestion, psychological tricks, threats. Trust me, if someone truly wanted information from you, they will get it eventually; it doesn’t matter who it is. So believe me when I say that it’s not a matter of trust; it’s simply better that we don’t know who each other are. Do you understand?”
She nodded slowly in response and squeezed his hand back. “Yes, I understand. I’m sorry.”
Releasing her hand, he shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. I can see how what you suggested makes sense, but it’s better this way.”
She nodded again, and the subject was dropped. For the time being anyway. The matter of their identities had come up again later though under different circumstances, but had always ended the same. They were still merely Blue and My Lady to each other.
As they continued to flee from their latest drug trade takedown, they jumped from rooftop to rooftop. They didn’t stop until they were sure that they had lost their pursuers and were in the clear.
Coming to a stop on a balcony, they decided to rest for a bit, normal nightly fatigue mixed with the weariness from physical exertion setting in. It certainly wasn’t easy keeping up this double life. After going about what they each did during the day, they then spent a good portion of their nights fighting the corruption. Zuko figured he probably averaged three to four hours of sleep most nights. It was exhausting.
Which had been why Zuko had gone in on his own. There were some nights where, despite them planning to meet, that exhaustion had simply become too great and one of them hadn’t been able to show up. They both knew and understood that such times would occur and didn’t hold them against each other. It would be too risky to go out if they were too tired. So when Katara hadn’t arrived at their planned meeting spot, he had assumed that she had been too tired to come, and so had sought to handle the situation on his own.
“You should have waited for me,” she told him as they caught their breath.
“I thought you weren’t coming when you didn’t show up,” he replied. “They were shipping out the drugs tonight; I had to act.”
She sighed. “Well, I’m glad that I was able to get to you in time. You looked like you were in trouble there.”
“I could have managed.”
She smiled as she reached up and removed her veiled hat. “I’m sure.” She approached him, and he turned to her as she came to a stop in front of him. “I’m sorry I was late. I hate missing our nights together.”
Bringing up his hand, he cupped her cheek, gently stroking it with his thumb. “I do too.”
Her smile widened and her eyes shined as her hand came up to grasp his as she leaned into his touch. She kept his hand pressed to her cheek for a short while before reaching out and taking hold of his mask. She slowly lifted it up and off, exposing his face.
But not completely. Some time ago, after they had started working together, he had taken up to wearing a second mask. This one was far more simple though, made of black cloth that covered his head from his nose up, most importantly hiding his scar. It was the most of his face he had ever allowed her to see, and the most she ever would see.
Letting his Blue Spirit mask drop to the ground, she reached up once more and traced his lips with her fingers. His hands went to her hips to pull her close and he leaned in. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she leaned in as well, and their lips met in a kiss.
Perhaps it was inevitable that this had happened. But even if it wasn’t, he should have seen the signs. He should have known that she was developing feelings for him. What more, he should have known that he was developing feelings for her.
Or perhaps he had known and had chosen not to acknowledge them, until it was too late that is. Yes, that was a more accurate way of describing the evolution of their relationship. And maybe if he had acknowledged their growing feelings rather than pretending that they weren’t there, he could have shot them down rather than let them become this complicated mess.
Thinking back on it, he supposed that he had first begun to take notice of her feelings when she was healing him one night. Since he didn’t use Firebending and instead relied on his swords and hand-to-hand combat, he naturally sustained more injuries than she did since she could use her Waterbending to fight. But she also used it to heal any injuries they obtained during their nights out.
Whenever she had healed him before, it had been the simple matter of rubbing glowing water over his injuries. And yet one night he couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t just running her hands over his wounds, she was caressing him, lingering on certain areas longer than necessary, even after his wounds were healed.
It seemed as if she hadn’t even been aware that she had been doing it, not at first. She did seem to catch herself eventually though and had stopped, a notable blush on her cheeks visible in the moonlight, even behind her veil. She hadn’t apologized for her actions or even acknowledged them, so he had done the same and chosen to ignore them.
A few nights later, she brought up an interesting subject. It wasn’t uncommon for them to hold conversations while patrolling the city, although it was almost always her who did the talking. For some reason though, she had chosen to bring up the mythology of the spirits they were impersonating.
“Did you know that the Painted Lady and the Blue Spirit are lovers?” she asked in a casual tone.
He glanced at her in surprise. “What?”
She nodded. “I looked into the mythology of them both. I thought that if we were going to pretend to be them that we should know more about them. I didn’t expect to discover that though.” She gave him a questioning look. “Did you know?”
“No,” he replied truthfully, though he would look into it later and find out that she was right. “It doesn’t matter though, we’re not actually them, so we don’t need to know their history.”
He hadn’t missed the melancholic expression on her face though at his response as she looked away and muttered, “Yeah…”
Sometimes he wondered if her discovering that fact about the Painted Lady and the Blue Spirit had been what allowed her to start to see him in a new light and begin to develop feelings for him. Or maybe she already had feelings for him and that discovery had simply caused her to become aware of them. Regardless, he had chosen to ignore the signs, hoping that if he didn’t acknowledge them that they would go away.
He had been wrong. And during their nights together, he began to notice certain things about her behavior. How she would sneak longing looks at him, how she would naturally gravitate closer to him, how she would unnecessarily touch or brush up against him, how when they did touch naturally that hers would linger longer than necessary.
Yes, there were signs, and ignoring them hadn’t helped. He’d discovered just how much it hadn’t helped when she made a move on him a couple weeks after her little mythology lesson, approximately three months after they had started working together.
They were perched on a second-floor balcony after another successful night out. After making plans of where and when to meet the next night, he had been about to take his leave when she stopped him.
“Wait,” she said as he turned to go.
He turned back to her and noticed that she appeared nervous and seemed to be trying to work up her courage for something. “What is it?”
She hesitated a bit before asking, “Can I… Can I try something?”
He cocked his head to the side questioningly before nodding. After a few more seconds of working up her nerve, she had approached, coming to a stop directly in front of him. She then reached up and removed her veiled hat for the first time before slowly reaching for his mask.
“My Lady, no,” he told her when her fingers grasped his mask. “We talked about this.”
She gave him a pleading look. “I won’t remove it, I promise. Just… trust me. Please?”
He didn’t respond, and after a few moments, she seemed to take that as permission to proceed. Ever so slowly, she lifted his mask, inching it further and further up his face. Just as she exposed his mouth, he prepared to still her hands, fearing that she would expose his scar, but then she had stopped of her own accord.
Her hands then moved down to find place on his shoulders and she leaned in, closing her eyes and puckering her lips. His vision was mostly obstructed from the mask’s position on his face, but he had been able to see a little bit through the mask’s nose holes and realized that she was about to kiss him.
His hands came up to grasp her arms, stopping her just short of her lips meeting his. “My Lady, what are you doing?”
She blinked up at him, a flicker of hurt appearing in her eyes. “I was just… I was going to… I wanted to…”
Her cheeks had grown red and she seemed incapable of finishing her sentences, but there was no need, he knew exactly what her motives had been. He couldn’t allow that to happen though, and so he released her arms and backed away as he pulled his mask back down.
“We can’t do this, My Lady,” he told her, and was surprised to hear the regret in his own voice.
She frowned sadly at that. “Why not? Don’t you like me?”
He did, far too much, and that was part of the reason why. “It’s just not a good idea.”
He turned to leave before this could escalate further, but her voice stopped him. “I love you, Blue.”
He froze at her words, not sure if he actually heard them or just imagined them. Slowly, he looked back at her, noting her flushed cheeks and shy expression. Her eyes were downcast in embarrassment, but they slowly rose up to settle on his face again, or his mask anyway.
“My Lady, you don’t love me,” he told her.
“Yes,” she said firmly, “I do.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“I know enough.”
“No… you don’t,” he insisted, suddenly feeling angry with himself. With her confession, he was now forced to acknowledge the signs he had picked up over the past several weeks for what they were, and he also acknowledged that he had handled the situation poorly. He should have put a stop to this development before it got to this point.
She wasn’t deterred by his insistence, and instead took a step closer. “I know that you’re brave, kind, compassionate, selfless, honorable. You care about others and want to make the world a better place. You put others before yourself and are willing to rush into danger to help those in need. You–”
“Those are just standard qualities in a person,” he interrupted, every compliment she dropped like a knife to the gut. “They’re only one side of me. You don’t know me as a person.”
She stubbornly scowled at him. “What? You mean your real name? Your life story? Your day job? Your daily life? Your hobbies? Friends? Likes and dislikes? Those aren’t qualities you should value in a person. Character is what’s important, and I know yours.”
Ah, if only she did. But then, if she did, then she would be running for the hills. Or striking him down. “You don’t even know what I look like,” he told her.
She merely smiled at that, as if finding what he said amusing. “Physical attraction may spark an interest, but it’s hardly what really matters when it comes to actual love. I’m attracted to you as a person. Not what you look like. But if you are a pretty face behind that mask, that’s just a bonus.”
Well, she wasn’t shallow or superficial. But then, he already knew that about her. “You see only this side of me, the side of the Blue Spirit, not the real me.”
She just shook her head. “The Blue Spirit may hide your true identity, but I think it’s also who you really are. The mask last allows you to do at night what you can’t do during the day without getting in trouble.”
It almost felt as if she had read his mind. But it still didn’t change anything. Any love she had for him would instantly turn to hate the moment she found out who he was. At most, it could only be a fling and would just end in heartbreak for her when it inevitably came to an end. He couldn’t string her along by encouraging this.
“You’re not in love with me,” he told her, changing tactics. “If anything, you’re just in love with the idea of me.”
She let out a sigh. “Blue, I know how I feel. I’ve been working out my feelings for you for a long time now. I know the difference between being in love and being in love with the idea of love. And I know that I love you.”
Being reasonable didn’t seem to be working, so instead he tried intimidation. He aggressively stormed over to her, and she backed away in surprise, bumping against the wall. He brought up his arms, slamming them on either side of her head, effectively caging her in.
“You’re too naïve,” he told her. “For all you know, I could just be using you. Maybe everything I’m doing is for my own benefit instead of helping people. You don’t know. So how can you claim to know me if you have no idea who I actually am or what I’m really like outside of the whole Blue Spirit thing?”
While he had clearly startled her with his sudden approach, she got over her surprise. If anything, she only looked more determined. “I’ve been fooled before, Blue, by someone who tricked me and used me to try and hurt people. And I swore that I would never let myself be fooled like that again.”
She reached up and framed his mask with her hands. “I know you’re not using me, Blue, and I know that you’re sincere in wanting to help people. And this,” she indicated the body cage he had created with his arms, “only helps to prove it. You wouldn’t be trying so hard to push me away if you didn’t care or weren’t a good person. That’s the act. I know it’s not who you really are behind that mask. I never would have fallen for you if you were what you’re suggesting.”
By Agni, she had seen right through him. How could she know him so well without actually knowing who he is? “I’ve done horrible things, My Lady. Things I regret. Things you would find unforgivable.”
She seemed to hesitate at this, but then she gave him a serious look. “We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we learn from them and grow into better people because of them. Whatever you did in the past, I can see that you’re trying to do good now, and that’s what really matters. I love the person standing before me right now, not whoever you were in the past.”
He tilted his head to the side in a manner that was meant to convey doubt. “So you’re saying it really doesn’t matter to you who’s behind this?” He tapped his mask. “I could literally be anyone, even someone you would despise.”
She just smiled at that. “Like I said, I wouldn’t have fallen for you if you were. I mean, it’s not like you’re Fire Lord Ozai or Prince Zuko.”
And there it was, the reason this could never work out. Because no matter how much she thought she knew him, he would always be Prince Zuko, the guy who betrayed her when she offered her hand in friendship. Nothing could ever change who he was. And in her eyes, he would always be the one who had thrown her offer back in her face. Finding out who he really was would only throw heartbreak into the mix and make her hate him even more. She hated Zuko, and to find out that the man she loves was really him, it would devastate her.
“You still don’t know what I’m really like outside this mask,” he pointed out. “For all the good I do as the Blue Spirit, I could be a major supporter to the Fire Lord and his efforts in the war, but still be trying to clean up the Fire Nation’s problems for its own good.”
The smile still didn’t leave her face. “Perhaps, but since I’ve come here, I’ve learned that the Fire Nation has a lot of good people who have been misled by propaganda into thinking the war is actually for the benefit of the world. When it comes down to it though, I can tell that you’re ultimately a good person, and that’s what matters to me.”
This wasn’t working, and he let out a sigh as he let one of his arms drop and turned to the side, freeing her from his body cage.
“It doesn’t matter who I am, because this can’t happen,” he told her, and was surprised to once again hear regret in his voice. Or, no, perhaps it wasn’t that he heard regret, but more along the lines that he was surprised that he wasn’t sure what that regret was for.
He was aware of her studying him thoughtfully, but he said nothing. That is, until she asked, “Are you seeing someone?”
He looked back at her in surprise. “What?”
“Are you seeing someone?” she repeated. “Do you have a girlfriend already or something?”
Zuko blinked behind his mask. He didn’t know why her question surprised him, but it did, and he found his mind turning to Mai. The two of them were… technically together, but also, not really. He wasn’t really sure how to define their relationship since they weren’t actually together, not officially. They spent time together, but they weren’t actually boyfriend and girlfriend. And yes, they kissed and did more, but their relationship was really more of a friends with benefits type of thing, nothing he could actually put a label on.
He was aware that Mai had feelings for him, and he supposed anyone who saw them together would have thought that they were courting, which he technically supposed they were, but they had never actually gotten to that level yet. And, truth be told, he was mostly only with her, for lack of a better term, by default, not so much because he wanted to be with her specifically.
Yes, he had gotten jealous when that guy had flirted with Mai at that party, but that was related more to him possibly losing maybe the only person who still showed him any genuine affection. And while that didn’t mean that he wasn’t fond of her or didn’t care about her, what they had didn’t actually have a label or title. So, to answer her question, did he have a girlfriend? Officially, no.
But that didn’t matter right now. This was an easy out. He could just tell Katara that yes, he did have a girlfriend, or that he was betrothed to someone, or even simply in love with someone. That would put an end to this. He knew that if he told Katara any of these things that she would respect them and give up on her feelings for him, or at least not pursue him.
But at the same time, he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her. Not after how much he was already lying. Or not telling her the truth of, which was technically lying by omission. Not even that really, as he had made it clear that he couldn’t tell her who he was. But still, it felt too much like lying already, and so he couldn’t bring himself to lie to her anymore, even if it would be for the best.
“No,” he told her truthfully, wishing he could take the easy way out for once.
They both fell silent after that, and Zuko turned away, unable to look at her. This whole thing was turning into a mess, and he found himself regretting many of his decisions from the past few months. None of this was supposed to happen, and now it seemed like it was all spiraling out of control.
A few moments later, her hand came up to cup the face of his mask, and when he looked back at her, her eyes were pleading. “Let me?” she requested softly, lightly gripping his mask to emphasize her meaning.
He reached up and took her wrist, gently removing her hand from his mask. “You would be disappointed.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Yes, you would,” he insisted, and took a step away from her. “You just don’t know it yet.”
He took off after that before she had been able to say anymore. He was surprised how hard it was to put distance between them and was further surprised to feel his own heart aching. And yet he continued to flee into the night, worried about where things would go between them from here.
He almost didn’t meet up with her the next night. He could have just skipped it, pretend he had been too tired the next time he saw her, but he knew that she wouldn’t believe it. Even a child would be able to tell that he would have just been running away like a coward rather than confront her over what happened. Besides, he had important things to do, and would need to take his nights off to rest only when he actually needed them. Helping his people was more important than avoiding an awkward situation.
And so, he had gone out to their meeting spot as planned, only now he had begun to wear his second mask underneath his Blue Spirit one, just as an extra precaution, he wondered if it would be Katara who wouldn’t show up out of embarrassment, but to his lack of surprise, she had appeared right on time, unwilling to let her personal feelings get in the way of what they needed to do.
However, there was an understandable awkwardness between them. Katara also kept her distance from him, which was also understandable given the circumstances. It didn’t interfere with their mission though, which they had successfully pulled off, but throughout it, not to mention before and after they had moved out, she hadn’t spoken more to him than what was necessary. And when they finished for the night, she was quick to disappear.
Zuko couldn’t exactly hold it against her. Being rejected was painful, and in their case, it must have been even harder for Katara, in light of the level of courage it must have taken her to confess, especially given their circumstances. But he knew that turning her down had been the right thing to do. Still, her indifference had hurt.
That hadn’t been the only time she had kept him at a distance after that. She had done it the next night, and the night after that as well. He could tell that she wasn’t angry or resentful, nor was she trying to punish him somehow. This was her coping, trying to recover from the pain of a broken heart and the sting of his rejection. He couldn’t fault her for that.
He didn’t like it though. In fact, he hated it. At this point, he highly valued her companionship and their time together. So being treated like a stranger who just happened to have the same goal as her, it hurt, it hurt more than he cared to admit.
After three days of her indifference, they had taken the night off to rest with the plan to meet up again the following night. But when that night came, he got the same borderline cold shoulder treatment from her. No, that wasn’t fair, she hadn’t been snubbing him or anything, just treating him like they were two people who just happened to be in the same place at the same time. And he found that he could no longer take it.
After they had made their plans for the next night, she had offered him a quick farewell. But as she turned to leave, his had had shot out of its own accord, grabbing her arm as a cry of “Wait!” escaped him.
She paused, turning back to him in surprise. She looked from his hand on her arm up to his face, or mask really, with sad eyes. Zuko stared back at her as well, wondering what had possessed him to act in such a manner. It would be better to just leave things as they were, he knew that, but his body had just moved on its own, both his hand and voice acting out before his brain could register anything.
“Blue?” she asked uncertainly.
He forced himself to let her go and take a step back. “I’m sorry.”
He turned his back to her then, looking out over the city from the rooftop they were on. He heard her approach, but didn’t look at her, not even when she stood beside him. She probably would have stood in front of him had the edge of the roof not been there.
“Blue?” she said again, and this time he heard a sliver of hope in her voice.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
She placed a hand on his arm, but said nothing more. They stood there like that for a time, him looking out over the city and her looking at him. Eventually though, he felt her other hand come up to cup his cheek on the far side of his mask, and she slowly turned him to face her.
They stared at each other for a short while before he finally spoke again. “I don’t like this distance between us.”
He saw the sad, somewhat guilty look that crossed her face. “I’m sorry.”
He said nothing to her apology, and instead turned himself to face her fully, bringing up his hand to place it over the one she was holding his arm with. His mask hid any indication as to what he might be feeling, but she stared at him as if she were somehow able to read every expression on his hidden face.
It was practically déjà vu from several nights ago as she began to lean in. This time though, she didn’t lift his mask or remove her hat, instead letting her veil part in front of her as she moved closer, his mask still separating them.
“Wait,” he found himself whispering just before her lips touched the mouth of his mask.
She paused, and waited, keeping her face right in front of him, her eyes staring at him almost pleadingly, her grip on his arm shifting to clench his sleeve, as if afraid he would run. She waited for him to say something, to do something, to turn her away again, but Zuko found himself unable to say or do anything. And when he made no attempt to reject her, she closed the distance and pressed her lips to the mouth of his mask.
It wasn’t a real kiss, not really. His mask separated them as she kissed it instead of him. But the symbolic gesture was there all the same, and Zuko felt it almost as if she really were kissing him. And behind his mask, his own lips parted as a silent gasp escaped him in response to what he was feeling as a result of her actions.
He wanted to kiss her for real, badly. But he couldn’t, not with this mask obscuring his face. And even if it wasn’t, he knew it wouldn’t be right with her not knowing who he really was, even if she did insist that she didn’t care. She only didn’t care because she thought so lowly of who he really was that she didn’t even consider Prince Zuko as being an option of who might be behind the mask. But he knew, and that was why he couldn’t allow this to happen.
So why was it that when she pulled back and rested her forehead against his chest, causing her hat and veil to fall off in the process, did he find himself reaching up to cover her hand that was still cupping his mask’s cheek, pressing his hand over hers and curling his fingers so she now gripped his mask?
She lifted her head and looked at him questioningly, but he said nothing. And after several long moments of silence, she released his sleeve and brought her other hand up to take hold of the other side of his mask.
“Can I?” she asked.
He was silent for a few moments before he told her, “I can’t give you what you want.”
Then it was her turn to be silent as she contemplated his words before giving him a sad yet serious smile. “Then I’ll take what you can.”
With that, she slowly began to lift his mask. With his second one on underneath, his identity would still be safe, yet he reflexively tightened his hold on her hand to stop her from removing it further. She paused, but her expression didn’t change, remaining intent and focused. And when he eased up on his grip, she resumed lifting his mask until she had exposed his mouth in a repeat of last time.
“You can keep going,” he told her, shocked by his own words as his mind began screaming at him, demanding to know what he was doing, and he had no answer for it.
Her eyes widened with hope and astonishment, and a flicker of excitement reflected in them as she resumed lifting his mask. But as it passed his nose, she caught sight of his second mask beneath it, and a flash of disappointment appeared in her eyes and her shoulders sank slightly. She didn’t hesitate to lift his mask the rest of the way off after that, exposing him completely, save from his nose up due to his second mask.
Katara’s hands fell to her side, his mask in her right hand. Despite his face still being covered, he felt self-conscious, and there was a level of fear that she would somehow still be able to figure out who he was as she stared at him, making him wonder once again what the hell he had been thinking in letting her remove his mask.
“You’re Fire Nation,” she said as she stared into his eyes. “I figured you were, but I thought it was possible that you could be something else.”
Of course she would be able to figure out that he was Fire Nation. Without his primary mask, his eyes were now exposed, and yellow eyes were a very common trait for the people of the Fire Nation. He had taken extra precaution by wearing black eye-liner around his eyes so the discoloration of his scar wouldn’t be noticed in his second mask’s eyeholes, but there was no hiding his actual eye color without his Blue Spirit mask.
Would this revelation put an end to her pursuit of him? Could she allow herself to love someone from the Fire Nation? She said she had suspected what he was but thought he could be something else. If she decided she couldn’t love him though, perhaps that would be for the best. No, that would be for the best.
“Yes,” he unnecessary confirmed. “I’m Fire Nation.”
He waited for her to react, but instead of pulling away, she let his mask drop to the ground as she placed her hands on his chest and gripped his shirt. “I don’t care. I told you, I love you, Blue, not what you are. This doesn’t change anything.”
He resisted the urge to sigh. Of course his nationality wouldn’t bother her, even though she had every reason in the world to hate his people for all the wrongdoings the Fire Nation had done. It seemed as if nothing was going to deter her, nothing save for finding out who he really was, and that was the one thing he couldn’t allow.
“This is all I can ever give you,” he told her in reference to how much of his face he allowed her to see. If she wouldn’t be turned off by his nationality, maybe the limitations of any sort of relationship she could have with him would do the trick.
Releasing his shirt, she reached up and framed his face with her hands. “I told you, I’ll take whatever it is you can give.”
She stared at him hard, as if trying to express to him with a look alone just how much she loved him. Then she once again began to lean in towards him, only this time there would be nothing separating them. And as she slowly closed the distance, his mind once again demanded to know what he was doing and for him to stop being stupid. Yet he found himself unable to move, as if it was taking all his strength just to hold himself in place to prevent himself from taking her into his arms.
“My Lady…” he said in little more than a whisper, not sure what he was going to say to follow that up with. But whatever he may or may not have said was cut off as her lips finally met his.
Kissing Katara was nothing like kissing Mai. That wasn’t to say that Mai was a bad kisser, despite her indifference and impassioned nature, but with Katara it was a completely different experience. From the moment their lips met, he felt an instant connection to her, and a feeling unlike any other rushed through him. And despite what his conscience was telling him, he couldn’t help but to kiss her back.
He wasn’t sure how long they kissed for, but it eventually came to an end. And as they broke apart, a gasp escaped Katara, as if she were amazed by what she was now feeling. Zuko couldn’t exactly blame her, as he felt pretty amazing right now himself. His heart was racing and every nerve-ending in his body felt alive as he began panting. She was breathing heavily as well, a blush present on her cheeks.
Zuko suddenly became aware of his hands on her hips, having pulled her closer. He hadn’t even been aware of having done that, his body seemingly having unconsciously acted on its own, as if guided by pure instinct. One of Katara’s own hands left his face and moved to her mouth where she traced her lips with her fingers and closed her eyes, as if savoring the feeling of having kissed him and trying to commit it to memory.
“My Lady,” he found himself whispering without meaning to. Her eyes opened and she looked up at him in open want, her blue gaze practically shining.
Her hand moved away from her mouth to find place on his shoulder, her other hand moving to the back of his head. “Blue,” she whispered back.
His grip on her hips tightened, his fingers digging in. And then, as if drawn together by an unseen force, they both moved at the same time. Their lips met once more, only this kiss was much different from the last. While that one had been hesitant and experimental, this one was all heat and passion. The only way Zuko knew how to describe it was to say that it was as if an explosion had gone off within him, filling him with fire and energy.
For some reason, he was reminded of the time he stood in the middle of that lighting storm, waiting for a bolt to strike him so he could practice redirecting it. He had been able to feel the electricity crackling in the air then, feel its energy and power surrounding him. This feeling was similar to back then, and it made him feel more alive than ever.
It seemed that Katara was feeling it too as she kissed him with just as much hunger and passion. Both her arms wrapped around his neck as she hugged herself to him, and Zuko found himself pulling her in close. They exchanged heated, near desperate kisses as they held each other closer, kissing in the moonlight on a rooftop in the middle of the city.
Their passionate embrace evolved, their kisses going from heated exchanges to open mouthed. Without thinking, Zuko found his tongue slipping into her mouth to make contact with hers. He heard her gasp in surprise, but she did not pull back. And as he stroked her tongue with his, a whimper escaped her as she gripped his shirt. A moment later, her tongue curled against his, and their two oral muscles stroked against each other.
Katara moaned as he deepened the kiss, and her legs seemed to buckle a bit. Zuko’s hands went from her hips to her lower back and between her shoulder blades as he dipped her back slightly, and her leg curled around his. She clung to him the entire time as their kisses became even more heated, their lips separating only for brief breaths of air.
Zuko was actually surprised by Katara’s response to him. Knowing what he knew of Water Tribe culture, they were a lot more reserved when it came to sex, particularly when it came to their women, holding their chastity in high regard. Couple that with all the time she spent traveling with the Avatar, and he would have thought that she wouldn’t have much experience with intimacy. Yet the way she was responding to him suggested that she either knew what she was doing or she was just good at letting instinct guide her, essentially making her a natural.
As a result of their heated exchange, Zuko felt his body react to their kisses. He felt himself grow hard and begin to strain against his pants. His clothes were already rather tight on him, making it easier to move around and be stealthily. As such, he developed a very noticeable bulge in his pants that would be impossible not to notice.
And Katara noticed. Pressed up against him as she was, she broke the kiss and inhaled deeply as she felt him brush against her. More color filled her cheeks as her eyes shifted downward. Her reaction was enough to snap Zuko out of his daze and return to reality, and he became horrified as he realized what he was doing. What was he doing?
His hold on her loosened as he pulled back as much as her hold on him would allow. At his retreat, she looked up at him questioningly. “Blue?”
“I’m sorry, My Lady,” he told her sincerely, letting his hands fall away from her.
Frowning, she blinked up at him in apparent confusion. “Sorry? Why are you–”
“I can’t do this,” he interrupted. “This isn’t right.” He bent down and picked up his mask, slipping it back on. “I’m sorry.”
“Blue, what–”
He didn’t wait for her to finish her question as he leapt off the rooftop. He wasn’t surprised when, after she got over her surprise at his sudden departure, she snatched up her hat and gave chase, calling his name.
He ignored her as he rushed through the city, attempting to lose her. Fortunately, he knew these streets better than she did, not to mention he was the faster of the two of them, and he was able to lose her. He then spent the rest of the night cursing his stupidity and his inability to control himself.
What the hell had he been thinking letting her take off his mask and kiss him? And what the hell had he been thinking in kissing her back? He was supposed to be discouraging her feelings and advances, not encouraging them. Well, ok, maybe he wasn’t encouraging them, but he was giving in and providing her with a false sense of hope for something that could never be.
Weak, he scolded himself. Why was he so weak when it came to her? Why was he responding to her the way he was? He knew that a relationship between them wasn’t possible. There was just too much bad blood.
He had told her, several times now, that this couldn’t work out. It seemed she was certain of her feelings for him and what she wanted though, even in how limited what she could get from him was. So what else could he do? He’d made it clear that they could never reveal their identities to each other, he’d made it clear that she would be disappointed in who he was and be loathed by the things he’d done, he’d made it clear that they could never truly be together. Besides showing her who he was, something he would never be able to do, what more could he do to put an end to her pursuit of him?
Agni, why hadn’t he just lied and said that he was in love with someone else when she’d asked? Why hadn’t he maintained the distance between them that had developed after he had initially rejected her? Now both of those outs were gone. He’d stupidly told her the truth about his lack of a relationship and had now foolishly given her hope after he had already rejected her.
So weak. Too weak to lie to her for her own good and too weak to bear the pain of the gap that had formed between them when he rejected her. So what were his options now, because he couldn’t allow this to go on; it wouldn’t be right in light of who he was, knowing she would never go for the real him.
He supposed not seeing her again was an option, but not a feasible one. There was still much corruption to be cleaned up, more people that needed to be helped. Their paths would undoubtedly cross again, and he would have to deal with her soon enough. Besides, simply not seeing her again would be the coward’s way out. No, he allowed this mess to happen and would just have to deal with it.
But one thing was for sure, when he did see her again, he had to stay in control of himself. He couldn’t take advantage of her ignorance. She thought she knew the kind of person she was in love with, and yes, he now believed her when she said that she loved him. But she wouldn’t love him if she knew it was him. She didn’t really know the kind of person he was. She hated the person he really was.
Ok, no, that wasn’t fair to him. She thought Zuko was this horrible, evil, selfish, deceptive, tyrannical, treasonous conqueror who only cared about himself, hence why she couldn’t fathom that he was the Blue Spirit. And while he couldn’t exactly blame her for thinking that in light of the… mistakes he had made in the past, he really was trying to do what he thought was best and trying to help people. So maybe she wasn’t wrong in claiming that she really did know him, even if she didn’t know who he was. How ironic.
But that was irrelevant. He still couldn’t allow anything to develop between them if she didn’t know who he really was, regardless of how she felt about him. She may say she didn’t care who he was, but that wasn’t an absolute certainty unless she did know who he was. What a conundrum.
As awkward as it was, he still went out the next night. They had no specific plans though, no targets to go after or charitable deeds for the people. Meaning it was just going to be a normal night of patrolling. Meaning there would be plenty of time for conversation to be held. Meaning this was going to get even more awkward as the night progressed.
And awkward it was. From the moment they met up. As soon as she joined him on the rooftop, Zuko felt this breath catch in his throat. He tried to act normal though, giving her a nod in greeting, as if they hadn’t just made out heavily the previous night. She didn’t say anything in response, and they began their patrolling in silence. And while silence was normal from him unless he had something important to say or he was responding to something she said, it wasn’t normal for her, and he wondered if she was giving him the silent treatment again after the way he had taken off last night.
It reminded him of the nights leading up to the kiss where she had kept him at a distance. It wasn’t quite the same though. Rather, this time she seemed to be waiting for something, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she wanted to address what had happened between them.
“Are we ever going to talk about last night?” she finally asked about two hours into their patrolling.
Zuko sighed. There was no point in playing dumb. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
He didn’t need to look back at her to tell that she was glaring at him. “I think there is. Or are you too afraid to address it? The Blue Spirit I know isn’t a coward.”
He resisted the urge to growl, knowing she had specifically worded things that way. “It was a mistake, one I shouldn’t have let happen and won’t happen again, so there’s no need to talk about it.”
He continued walking as he said this, but suddenly his feet were frozen in place as they were encased in ice, stopping him in his tracks. He glanced back at her and saw that she was staring him down angrily.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” she told him sternly. “And what do you mean you ‘let’ it happen? Also, I think I should have a say in whether it happens again since it involves me too. I initiated it after all, you were the one who responded.” She then marched up to him and poked him in the chest. “You might not think we need to talk about it, but I do, I told you how I feel, Blue, and I don’t appreciate having my feelings belittled and discarded.”
He pulled his feet free of the ice and turned to face her. “I’m not trying to belittle or discard your feelings, My Lady. I told you from the start that this can’t work between us.”
“No, you said it wasn’t a good idea.”
“Because it’s not. And that’s why I’m telling you now, this can’t happen.”
He turned his back to her, intending to drop the matter, but it seemed she wasn’t willing to. “It seems to me that this already is happening,” she told him. “Whether you want to acknowledge it or not. The way you kissed me tells me as much.”
“You kissed me,” he responded, hating how pathetic that sounded.
“And you let me,” she argued back. “And you kissed me back too. You wouldn’t have kissed me back like that if you felt nothing.”
He whirled around to face her again. “Any feelings we may or may not have for each other are irrelevant. I told you, we can never know who each other are, not ever, no matter what happens between us. How do you expect anything to come of this without us ever knowing who each other are?”
The look she gave him was undeterred and full of challenge. “And I told you, I’ll take whatever you can give.”
He wanted to cry out in frustration. By the gods, she could be stubborn. And yet he couldn’t help but admire her determination. If she really believed he wasn’t interested in her, he knew she would give up. But since he had foolishly given her hope, she was determined to do what she could to pursue him.
He chose not to address her final words to him though as they returned to their patrolling, but he could tell that she wasn’t going to let this go. Which left him a small window of time to figure out what to say before she brought up the subject again. But fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, depending on how one looked at things, they came across something that demanded their attention.
It seemed a large group of soldiers had had a little too much to drink from the looks of them, and were now harassing some citizens. Zuko’s fists clenched in frustration, the sight making him sick. He couldn’t believe his people could behave this way. Soldiers were meant to protect the citizens, not be the cause of their problems. When he was Fire Lord, he intended to make sure this nonsense stopped. But for now though, he could only do what he could as the Blue Spirit.
But it seemed he and Katara had underestimated the number of soldiers. As they dealt with the drunken buffoons, more had been alerted and came rushing to help their comrades. It became clear that they weren’t intimidated by the presence of spirits, if they believed that he and Katara were the real Blue Spirt and Painted Lady, and it was also clear that there were far more than the two of them could handle.
That left them with only one option, to retreat. They had managed to get the drunken soldiers’ attention away from the citizens they were harassing, which was good enough. Now they had to flee since there were too many for them to fight.
Jumping from rooftops and rushing down allies, Zuko and Katara fled from the soldiers in pursuit of them. Running away wasn’t the problem, it was getting away from so many completely that was proving to be difficult, as every corner they turned and every rooftop they jumped down from seemed to have more soldiers waiting for them.
But the soldiers couldn’t be everywhere all at once, and eventually, they were able to lose their pursuers. Walking down the dark length of two structures, Zuko led Katara along as they crept through the city. But just as he stepped out into the open, he spotted more soldiers coming their way. He quickly retreated back to the darkness, grabbing Katara and pushing her back into the alley and up against the wall so they wouldn’t be seen.
She let out a gasp of surprise as her back met the wall, her hat falling off as a result. He covered her mouth with his hand and placed a finger to the mouth of his mask, silently telling her to be quiet as he pressed up against her, flattening them both against the wall as he tried to keep them both in the shadows.
Just a few feet away, the soldiers rushed by, looking around and discussing where the two of them might have gone. Both Zuko and Katara watched them in the darkness, neither moving, hoping they wouldn’t be seen. The soldiers eventually moved out of their line of vision, but could still be heard talking, and so the two of them remained where they were.
Minutes ticked by, and while the soldiers had eventually headed off elsewhere, they were still patrolling the area, as evident by the ones that walked past their hiding spot every couple of minutes. Zuko didn’t want to take the chance of them getting caught, as fighting in such a confined space would be difficult, especially if more soldiers came at them from the other side. And since he couldn’t see if the solders had given up without poking his head out and risk being seen, he opted to remain where he was until he was sure they were gone.
After several minutes where they heard and saw nothing, he leaned slightly towards the side of the alley as if to look, and it seemed that Katara took that as an indication that it was safe as she asked, “Do you think they’re gone?” from behind his hand.
He glanced at her upon hearing her muffled question, having been so focused on the soldiers that he had actually forgotten that he had covered her mouth. He gave her a nod and removed his hand from her mouth, looking back out to the end of the alley. Just before he could move away from her though, he felt her hands come up and grasp his shirt. His attention returned to her and he suddenly became aware of the way she was looking at him.
There was a blush on her cheeks and her eyes were shining with longing and want. That looked suddenly caused him to register their close proximity and the way their bodies were oppressed up against each other. With the threat of the soldiers having taken precipice before, he now became very aware of her and the compromising position they were in.
She shifted again, and he felt her lift her leg and wrap it around his calf as she pulled him closer. A loud exhale escape Zuko as he stared at her, the shadows doing nothing to hide the emotions he saw in her eyes. Then she reached up, placing her hand on the top of his mask and slowly pulled it back until it rested on top of his head before her hand came down to rest in his shoulder.
His face was revealed once more, or as much as his second mask would allow. He did his best to keep his expression stoic though as they stared at each other. He watched as her gaze lowered down to his lips, and he knew she wanted him to kiss. Against his will, he felt his own eyes drift down to her lips, lips painted red to go with her Painted Lady look, making them all the more enticing. He saw as she wet them before they parted slightly, and his gaze returned to her eyes to see her watching him intensely, and he knew he had been caught looking.
The hand gripping his shirt tightened, as if afraid he would pull away, and the hand on his shoulder slid up his neck to the back of his head. He felt her apply a light pressure, encouraging him to claim her lips. It took every ounce of his self-control not to give in, and he did his best to keep his voice steady as he whispered his name for her. “My Lady.”
“Kiss me, Blue,” she begged quietly. “Please, kiss me.”
He shouldn’t, he knew he shouldn’t. It was wrong. He was Zuko, the man she hated, but he was also the Blue Spirit, the man she loved. It wouldn’t be right to kiss her in light of the former, even if her impression of him was wrong. And yet he was fighting against both his own longing and hers, and he didn’t think he was strong enough to resist.
He tried though, resisting the pressure she was applying to the back of his head to bring their faces closer. He saw sadness appear in her gaze at his resistance, but it didn’t deter her, and slowly she began to lean in instead, taking even more of an initiative. He wished she wasn’t so determined, but really, what reason did she have not to be? She was in love with him, and as far as she knew, he was single and also wanted her, but was resisting for her own sake, even though she didn’t want him to, claiming she would be satisfied with whatever he could give her.
She was close now, her face right in front of his, her lips less than an inch from his own. She hesitated a moment, her lips just barely grazing his, as if to see what he would do. But then she closed the distance, and completely pressed her lips against his. At the contact, his control snapped, and he aggressively kissed her.
He pressed himself up against her, fully flattening her against the wall. She moaned against his lips and parted hers in invitation, and his tongue immediately invaded her mouth, seeking out hers. Her own tongue engaged with his as they kissed with even greater intensity than they had last night.
She tasted just like he remembered, like rain and vanilla, and he devoured her mouth like a man dying of thirst. She met him with equal enthusiasm, her hands clutching at his desperately, her leg wrapping more securely around his calf. The rightness or wrongness of the situation no longer registered to Zuko. Not even the possible danger of being discovered was present in his head. The only thoughts in his mind involved tasting every inch of her skin.
Tearing his mouth away from her lips, he moved down to her neck, pressing hungry, open-mouth kisses along the area. A loud gasp escaped Katara as she clung to him even tighter. She tilted her head to the side to give him better access while pushing his head deeper into the crook of her neck. He licked and nibbled over the area before latching his lips onto her pulse point, sucking on her heated flesh.
“Yes…” she breathed in just above a whisper as she continued to cling to him. She fisted both his shirt and the back of his mask as his main one fell off the top of his head as she nuzzled him.
Zuko felt like a man possessed as he continued to taste the saltiness of Katara’s skin, determine to mark her in some way. His hand acted instinctively, moving to explore her body. Katara seemed to relish under his touch, opening herself up to him fully. Her own hands began exploring him as well, scratching and clawing at his shirt, desperate to feel more of him. She wiggled her arms free from the open sleeves draping over them before embracing him tightly and clawing at his back, as if she were trying to pull him even closer than what was physically possible.
Zuko was harder and more turned on than he could ever remember being. The bulge in his pants demanded some relief, and he ground himself against her. Katara inhaled at the feel of him as he groaned against her neck. He ground his hardness into her again, eliciting the same response from her. She shifted against him, trying to adjust herself, curling her leg more securely around his. And when Zuko drove himself against her again, this time he ground against her core.
A whimpering exhale escaped Katara and her head fell back. He lifted his face out of her neck and sought out her lips once more. She kissed him hungrily, wrapping her arms around his neck as their tongues engaged in a frenzy. Zuko thrusted against her once more, causing her to whimper into his mouth, and lifted her other leg so she could wrap both around his waist. He pressed his body harder against her so she wouldn’t fall, keeping her pinned against the wall as he proceeded to thrust his clothed hardness against her covered center.
They proceeded to move against each other, grinding and dry humping. Hisses and gasps escaped Katara as grunts escaped Zuko whenever their mouths weren’t sealed together. Everything about her was driving him crazy. Her taste, her scent, the sounds she made, the feel of her pressed up against him. It all served to drown out reality and allow him to get lost in her. And as he proceeded to drive himself into her, she became more vocal, her gasps and cries rising in volume and frequency.
She closed her eyes and sucked her lips into her mouth to try and remain silent, turning her head to the side so that he could bury his face into the crook of her neck once more. Her legs displayed their strength as they tightened around his waist, as did her arms around him as she fisted more and more of the back of his shirt. More whimpers escaped her as she struggled to contain them until that no longer seemed possible as her mouth fell open to let out a cry every time he thrusted against her.
She suddenly tensed up in his arms, her head falling back as she sucked in a breath. A moment later, a loud cry began to escape her, and one of his hands flew to her mouth to silence it. Her muffled cry still rang in his ear as he lifted his face out of her neck, and she began shaking uncontrollably in his arms. He held her securely and looked on in amazement as he realized that he had just made her orgasm simply from grinding against her, both of them still fully clothed.
But as arousing as the sight of her coming undone in his arms was, it also served to penetrate his lust-filled state and snap him back to reality. His eyes widened in horror as his mind demanded to know what the hell he was doing. He’d practically had sex with Katara on top of their clothes. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have lost all control and reasoning? He couldn’t be doing this, not with her, not to her.
Katara’s arms and legs had wrapped around him tightly in her climax, making her hold on him quite unbreakable. But as she came down from her high, her limbs went slack, her arms and legs going limp. Had it not been for Zuko all but crushing her against the wall, she would have collapsed. So Zuko kept a careful hold of her, not letting her fall when her legs failed to support her, allowing her to gently slide to the ground as he set her down.
Her eyes were still closed in bliss and there was a deep blush on her face as her mouth hung open and she let out heavy, lengthy breaths. The sight of her in such a euphoric state was the most arousing thing he had ever seen, and his erection strained painfully in his pants as it demanded to be freed and find its own release.
But that would not be happening. He couldn’t do this to her. Things had escalated far beyond anything he had intended. It was obvious that he couldn’t control himself around her. Now he needed to get away from her before he did something even more stupid that he would regret and hate himself for. He already hated himself enough as it was over this and his other past misdeeds, but he was certain he could hate himself even more.
He took a step away from her, his back meeting the other wall in the small space. As if sensing the distance between them, and more than physically, she opened her eyes and looked up at him, her makeup smeared, her face damp with perspiration with bits of her hair clinging to it. He hated how she was looking at him with such love and desire, because he knew she shouldn’t, and he certainly didn’t deserve it. He was the last person who deserved to have her look at him like that.
“Blue?” she panted, reaching for him.
He needed to leave, right now, put as much distance between them as possible. Clear his head and berate himself for his own stupidity. And so, without a word, he snatched up his mask and leapt up, kicking off one side of the wall and then the other, repeating the process as he made his way to the top, the small, narrow space allowing the maneuverability.
Once he was on top, he took off, leaving Katara behind. He felt like such a scumbag for just leaving her there like that in light of what had just happened between them, but what else could he do? Besides, he felt like an even bigger scumbag for letting this happen at all. What in the hell was wrong with him? He deserved every ounce of pain and discomfort his blue balls were giving him as he returned to the palace. Blue balls for the Blue Spirit, how ironic.
And yet he couldn’t get what had happened between them out of his head. He may have lost control, but he still remembered every moment in vivid detail. How she felt pressed against him, the taste of her skin, the sweet sounds she made, the look of ecstasy on her face as she climaxed. These things would remain burned in his memory forever.
By the gods, he was actually at risk of falling for her, he suddenly realized. The nights they spent patrolling these past three months, talking to her, getting to know her, just being with her, he was actually developing feelings for her, and that was absolutely something he couldn’t allow to happen. Her being in love with him was bad enough, but him loving her, being who he was, with her hating the real him, that would give this whole predicament a violent shove out of overly-complicated and right into the category of catastrophic. He would have to be very careful from now on not to let his feelings develop further.
Upon returning to the palace and making his way into his room, he angrily tore off both his masks, throwing his Blue Spirit one across the room with a cry of frustration. He stormed into the bathroom and slammed his fist against the mirror, cracking it in the process, then looked up to glare at his reflection. The face of Prince Zuko stared back at him, not the Blue Spirit, not the man Katara loved, but the man she despised, the man who had betrayed her, who she couldn’t even fathom as a possibility being the one behind the mask.
What in the spirits’ names was he supposed to do now knowing what he did, having done what he had done? Even if he wanted to take the coward’s way out now and simply never see her again, not to going out wasn’t an option. The city still needed the Blue Spirit, and wherever the Blue Spirit appeared, the Painted Lady was sure to as well. They were practically a package deal at this point. Hell, knowing her, if he didn’t meet up with her, she would likely seek him out.
He could try to avoid her, but he had no doubt that their paths would cross again. She would undoubtedly be angry with him for leaving her the way he had, but knowing her, she wouldn’t back down and would instead confront him. He would very likely have a very angry Waterbender to deal with the next time their paths crossed.
“Stupid. Idiot. Coward. Weakling,” he scolded his reflection, truly hating himself in this moment. “You really are a bastard.”
But none of this offered him a solution to the problem. He was falling for a girl he couldn’t have, who he had considered an enemy for so long, who considered him an enemy, who she hated, who she loved without knowing who he was. Why? Were the gods just toying with him? It seemed as if they enjoyed messing with his life all the time. Was this some sort of penance for his family’s sins over the past hundred years falling upon him?
He let out a sigh as he stopped berating himself. He could hate himself all he wanted, but it wouldn’t change his predicament. It was hard enough to think straight right now anyway. He was still painfully aroused from what had happened between him and Katara, and it didn’t seem like his erection would be going away anytime soon, not until he dealt with it.
Taking himself out, he took hold of his member and began pumping furiously. His breathing grew heavy, coming out heavy pants, and he let his eyes drift shut. Images of Katara filled his head, of her as the Painted Lady, of her as her normal self. He imagined her here, in his room, lying down naked and wanting on his bed, her dark skin against his red sheets, reaching for him, calling his name, his real name, not the Blue Spirit.
He imagined going to her, taking her for himself, making love to her in a way they would never forget. He imagined the sounds she would make, the sweet cry of her voice as he brought her to the heights of pleasure before finding his own release, then taking her in his arms as they laid together in post-coitus bliss.
“Katara…” he groaned out as he spilled himself.
The act took care of his body’s immediate needs, but did nothing to satisfy his actual want. He wanted Katara, and he wanted her badly. His body craved her, and that just made it all the worse. Why did he have to want the one woman he knew he could never have, who it would be wrong to give it to, who actually wanted his alter ego?
He would just have to deal with it. That was the only real option. Regardless of his feelings, regardless of his desires, he was just going to have to deal with them. He would resist whatever he felt, and if she made any advances towards him, he would have to resist them too. He would just have to keep telling himself that Katara was off limits.
But he knew that would be easier said than done, which is why when he went out the next night, he was especially nervous. He knew that Katara would be angry and hurt after the way he just left her last night, and the night before if he was honest, and he would most likely be facing her wrath the next time he saw her. And who knew, maybe the problem would sort itself out with her thinking he was an insensitive jerk and no longer wanted to have anything to do with him. It would be painful, but it would be for the best.
Regardless, it didn’t spare him from her fury when their paths did eventually cross. One moment he had been leaping across rooftops the next he had been surrounded by a mass of water that had frozen him in a block of ice, leaving only his face unfrozen. She had then landed on the rooftop a moment later and approached him. Not even her veil could hide the anger he saw in her eyes.
Oh yes, she was furious.
(A/N: And that's the end of Part 1. So, yeah, as I said in my Author's Note at the beginning, you may find some stuff in this story questionable or disapproving. If it wasn't obvious, I was referring to Zuko and Katara's relationship taking a sexual turn without Katara knowing who Zuko really is. Yeah, like I said, not exactly dubious, but not exactly consensual since Katara doesn't know who the Blue Spirit is, and she wouldn't go for him if she did. I actually took inspiration from the likes of Batman/Catwoman and Ladybug/Cat Noir, you know, with the whole vigilante thing with the whole love relationship between them, but one or more of them not knowing who the other is. Zuko knowing that Katara would never go for him if she knew he was the Blue Spirit is just another wrench thrown into things. If you're curious as to how things go from here, then sick around for Part 2, coming in just 2 weeks, and let me know what you think of things so far.)
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