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Oh Brother!	By : Creamaster Category: +S through Z > Simpsons Views: 2521 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction of "The Simpsons" and in no ways affiliated with it's creator or Intellectual Property (IP) owner, or the parent company IP belongs to. No proceeds were gained from this work.

Chapter List
- 1-High and Low
- 2-Drinking, Thinking
- 1
- 2
The yellow sun shone down strongly, the last days of summer were closing in on the lives of the people of Springfield. A cool Autumn wind had blown in early, much to the relief of Bart Simpson who stuck his head out the window of the beat up orange Beetle his sister Lisa was driving.
"Sweet mother of mercy it's hotter than Satan's anus." Bart closed his eyes as the refreshing wind blew over him and down his stained and tattered shirt with a band logo printed on it, panting like a dog.
"Baaaaart," Lisa said laughing at her brother's sense of humor. The road stretched out in front of her as she held her foot on the gas.
"What? It is, if today was judgement day I'm sure Satan would find some way to bullshit his way out of it." Bart poured the last of the slushier he had gotten a few miles back at that gas station Kwikie-Mart over his head as the liquid flew back into the space behind the car, he shook like a dog spraying slushie all over the side of the car.
"Bart, you're going to fuck up my new car!" Lisa shouted as he pulled his head back in, dripping in blue juice.
He smacked his lips loudly and blew slushie out all over the dash board in a sputter, his eyes plastered shut and his hair a matted mess by the sugary substance and sunk into the stained and cracked leather seats and let out a sigh.
"Ahhhhh, you have no idea how good that feels."
Lisa giggled and said,
"Jeez Bart do you need a towel?"
She smiled and kept watching the road as she fished around in the back seat filled with boxes destined for her dorm at Harvard for something Bart could wipe his face on, her v-neck tie dye tank top hung open exposing her sweating sternum.
Bart swiped some of the icy blue liquid off his head and licked it off his finger then scraped his face and poured the slushie down Lisa's open shirt.
"You're my towel," Bart joked.
She gasped as the icy liquid spilled down her chest pulling back as it slid all the way down to her stomach.
"Huh! Bart cut it out!" She opened her mouth and laughed in surprise at the sensation as the car swerved side to side on the road and she reached out with her free hand to wrestle with her brother.
"No you cut it out!" Bart scraped more slushie off his face and poured it down her back this time.
Lisa arched her back as the icy flow followed the sweating curve in her spine down to her buttocks.
"Huuuuh, goddamnit it Bart," she breathed in shock as her warm skin chilled and goose bumps popped up all along the surface of her arms and chest.
"You little twerp! You think just because I'm driving I won't kick your ass." Lisa wrestled with Bart and took some of the slushie out of his hair and got revenge by pouring it down his back as Bart thrust his body forwards in shock.
"You baby, what did I do to deserve that?" Bart got another handful of the slushie and pulled open Lisa's waistband this time, getting a peek at her striped panties before letting the blue slush dribble off his hand down her shorts.
"You didn't!" Lisa shouted at the top of her lungs, pulling her foot off the gas as the car lurched sickeningly, snatching the sandal off her foot as she beat at her brother mercilessly.
"You little pervert, I'm your sister!" The car swerved wildly across the road as they sped on.
"Alright, alright you win, Jesus!" Bart shrunk away from the rain of blows on his head and raised arms.
Lisa gave him one last thwack for good measure.
"I'm done, it's over." Bart said, hunching down in the corner of his seat.
Lisa slipped her sandal back on and looked down the front of her body at the blue mess staining her head to toe.
"You didn't have to take it so far Bart, I just made this top out of my good hemp, I was going to wear it to the Phish concert in a few days." She pulled out her shirt looking down at her chest covered in sticky blue gunk and at the wet splotch on her crotch, soaking down her legs.
"Your dorm has laundry right? Fancy school like that." Bart winced as he felt one of the Lumps Lisa had left on his scalp.
"I doubt it, freshmen aren't exactly given the royal treatment, even at Harvard." Lisa tried to wipe some of the sticky gunk off her but it just smeared.
Bart yawned "Yeah whatever booring." He leaned forward in his seat and pulled off his shirt to wiped down the rest of the slushie left drying into a syrup on his face. He wiped his pits and back then tossed the shirt in Lisa's face.
"Here, only slightly stinkin'." Bart said, leaning back again.
"Auugh Bart that's disgusting, I'm not wiping my face with your sweaty filthy boy band's shirt." Lisa delicately picked the rag off her face and threw it in the back seat, her own sweaty predicament worsening as the goo melted on her.
"Hey it's not a boy band and you didn't complain when you and Dolph were getting sweaty at Krustfest."
Lisa blushed and said, "Well Dolph is different, he's not like you cretins, he's only pretending to be a jerk."
"Lisa has a boyfriend!" Bart teased her by poking the side of her breasts which swayed under her tank top.
"Hey! Bart cut it out, that hurts!" Lisa slapped his hand away and rubbed the side of her chest.
The setting sun cast Lisa in a yellow hue that caught on all her little hairs, giving her a radiance that Bart couldn't help but star at as she smiled. Lisa Turned her head and look into her brother's eyes,
"God she's gorgeous" Bart thought to himself.
"Baart, what?" Lisa said looking at him staring at her.
"Nothing just looking at your dumb face." Bart couldn't quite hide his admiration from his sister and she blushed, as she turned away.
"You'd know best because it's your face too." Lisa smirked, she knew Bart was admiring her.
"Yeah whatever, you got one thing right my mug is ugly as sin." Bart rubbed his chin.
"Aww big brother, what you do, the way you think makes you beautiful." Lisa said quoting Scott Westerfield.
"Yeah whatever miss smarty pants." Bart grumbled.
Bart reached behind the seat and pulled a pouch of American Spirit tobacco out from his backpack stuck back there. He unrolled the package and lifted a rectangle of rolling papers out and began rolling a cigarette. He pulled a little plastic bag out from the corner of the pouch that had a little bit of sticky bud in it and broke some apart and sprinkled it over the loose tobacco.
"Is that weed?" Lisa turned her head quickly to watch her brother finish rolling the joint into a perfect cone.
"Yep, scored some off Nelson before we took off, his mom's boyfriend is a big time dealer in Shelbyville." He said out of the corner of his mouth as he fished a red plastic bic out of his shorts and lit the end of the joint, the paper flaring for a moment before crinkling into a red coal as he inhaled a long hit and held it deep in his lungs.
"You shouldn't use Nelson like that Bart, he's got enough problems with his family the way it is." Lisa said, not taking her eyes off the road and gazing a little farther into the empty space beyond it as she said it.
"Nelson's gonna be fine, trust me." Bart said as he suppressed a cough.
"You want a hit?" He said with a strained voice, holding the smoke in his lungs, as he handed Lisa the lit joint.
Lisa looked at it and Bart as she considered her brother's offer.
"I mean, all those times we hung out with Nelson behind the school I never wanted to, getting into a school like Harvard isn't easy, especially a lower-middle class white girl living in a small town like me."
Bart nodded his head, letting put a small puff of smoke.
"Well shit Lise, sounds like you earned it at this point, no more tests no more books, no more Skinner's dirty looks." Bart teased his sister.
"You know what fuck it." Lisa took the joint out of Bart's hand and inhaled the bitter smoke.
She coughed and handed it back to Bart.
"Hey that's the real knowledge you're on now sis, school cant teach you how to be cool like that." Bart leaned his seat back with the joint in his teeth like a villain.
"Yeah, because you're like the coolest." Lisa said rolling her eyes.
Lisa kept coughing as the road seemed to get longer in front of her, her head felt lighter and all of a sudden all the worry she had built up around being a star pupil didn't seem so tight a rope around her shoulders.
"I feel... something..." Lisa let the wave of relaxation flow over her as the sun slipped behind the rolling green hills.
Bart flipped on the radio and scanned through static to find a worthy station when the sound of Clarence Clearwater Revival's, "Born on the Bayou," came through clearly. Bart turned up the tunes and they floated along the endless highway.
Lisa listened as the sounds wrapped her in a warm glove of static electric guitar music.
The clouds seemed to glow with a living red she had never seen before, the birds flew over head and the bats hunted down mosquitoes as dusk crept along with their orange vehicle.
Lisa turned down the radio and listened to the sound of the wind whistling around the car, she rolled down the window and stuck her hand out and let the breeze guide her hand up and down like a plane.
The sounds of cicadas humming in the trees keyed in Lisa's sharp mind and she focused on the back and forth call and response of their song.
"Everything is so... so... specific! I understand now, it's all about..." Lisa said slowly to Bart, who had passed out in the seat next to her.
"Bart? Bart?" She looked over but Bart had pulled a sombrero over his eyes and was dozing, oblivious to the experience his sister was having. She nudged his shoulder but he just mumbled and brushed her away. Her eyes grazed over the surface of his exposed chest and stomach to rest on his crotch which twitched a little.
She looked away quickly and thought,
"Why am I checking out Bart, I must really be stoned. Ha ha, me a stoner, what a joke."
She sighed and kept driving in silence as the amber light faded across the majestic hills and valleys around her.
The world seemed like it was breathing a breath all for her as she let go of her tension, the sun shafts streamed across the placid sky touching the tops of mountains with a golden light. It was a perfect moment, the only thing that kept bothering her was the slushie still clinging to her skin.
She pulled down the rear view mirror and got a look at her eyes, bloodshot, and the stains covering her shirt and pants.
"Yuck," she twisted in her seat to the sound of her thighs peeling off leather.
"Yuck," she thought again, she remembered Bart using his shirt to wipe himself down and considered reaching back for his rancid shirt but shivered.
"Anything but that..." Lisa thought.
She looked down at her own shirt and saw that although it was a little wet it still had enough dry spots to cleanse her of the blue nightmare.
She pulled one arm into her shirt and lifted it over her neck then slipped her head though the bottom and peeled the shirt off her left arm, not wearing a bra underneath her breasts stood out in front of her, exposed to the cooling evening air. She wiped herself down, everywhere that was covered in the drying slushie; her legs, her back, her armpits and her chest.
When she was done she threw the shirt back next to Bart's and sighed, relieved to be freed from the uncomfortable sensation.
"This is nice, why haven't I gotten high and taken my clothes off more often." She thought to herself.
"Shit might as well go all the way," she thought as she struggled with her shorts and panties, wiggling out of them as they dropped down by her feet, her smooth skin felt ultimately comfortable as she became once with nature.
"I really am a nature girl." Lisa thought, pondering how wonderful she felt stripped to her birthday suit.
Bart opened one eye and peeked at what his sister was doing, the side angle of her breasts silhouetted against the setting sun, shutting them quickly as Lisa turned her head towards him.
"Good thing Bart is asleep, It would be embarrassing for him to catch me like this." Lisa thought.
The trees whizzed by and their pine scent filled the fresh mountain air.
"Hmm, a lot of nature all around me but I'm stuck in this cramped car." She highly thought to herself.
The car slowed on the highway, the curve of the road and it's tape like dispenser beneath the wheels came to a rolling halt as the orange bug pulled off to the shoulder and Lisa got out whooping to the sound of a guitar solo on the radio.
Some time later, Bart stirred from a dreamless sleep, the whoosh of a car passing by on the highway sent a burst of air through the car that rattled it back and forth. His eyes slowly opening to total darkness.
"Shit what time is it?" Bart said as he sat up in his chair, the old sombrero falling away from his groggy face, the radio emitting a static hiss.
He looked around and saw that they were parked on the shoulder of the road and the driver's door was wide open.
"Lisa?" Bart said turning his head from side to side to try and piece together what was happening.
"Son of a Bitch." Bart said getting out of the car and flipping open his clamshell phone.
"Come on, come on," he dialed his sister but the car started buzzing and he ducked his head to look in the window at Lisa's phone left on the console.
"Shit." Bart flipped the phone closed and looked around again.
He saw something in the bushes, the same striped panties he had seen his sister wearing earlier, flung across a low shrub.
"Okay that's weird." Bart marched over and examined the panties as a truck passed by on the highway.
"Eww, well I guess she'll want these, if these are Lisa's." Bart carefully picked up the underwear and stuck it in his pocket.
He continued into the woods, finding a sock and then a shoe and then a pair of shorts and then another sock.
He picked up each one as he went out into the woods calling,
"Lisa, are you out here? Are you... naked and really high out here?" Bart called out.
"Goddamnit, I knew I shouldn't have smoked with her." Bart grumbled to himself.
Suddenly a voice from up above him shouted.
"I AM NATURE!"
Bart looked around wildly but couldn't see anyone.
"Lisa, what the fuck." Bart said bewildered.
"I'm up here." A shoe came falling down and landed with a thump on the leafy forest floor a few feet from Bart.
Bart looked up and high at the top of a pine tree he could make out the leg of his sister, nuder than the day she was born.
"Lisa, enough games, you're gonna hurt yourself." Bart called up worried.
"No I'm not!" Lisa called back as she came down a couple branches and then monkied her way back up.
"I've tapped into the primal source, I am the way that nature has made me, the great mother earth is turning with my spirit." Lisa shouted down.
"You're two nuts short of a squirrel, girl." Bart shouted back up at her.
"Come up here, I want my brother to see the glory of god's creation." Lisa called down.
"Oh lord." Bart put his hand over his face.
Bart put his foot on the tree and jumped for the lowest branch but just slammed against the trunk of the tree, scraping his side.
"I cant, how the hell did you get up there completely naked? You monkey." Bart winced at the scrape.
"Go around, and I'm not naked, I'm clothed in trees and the wind like the hominids we are all descended from." Lisa called down.
"Yeah okay, sure you are." Bart grumbled to himself.
Bart walked around the tree and there was a series of perfectly aligned branches like a ladder leading up to the top of the tree.
"Oh." Bart said feeling stupid.
"You are stupid, but that's why I love you big brother." Lisa called out, reading Bart's mind.
"Alright man, just be cool, I'm coming up."
"Heup!" Bart jumped and caught the first branch and started scaling the tree this time with much less pain.
The forest floor dropped away as he ascended, looking down he almost lost his lunch.
"eRrUPp, not gonna do that again." Bart said to his gurgling stomach.
After climbing up shaken branches and a few false snaps he was sure was the sound of his life ending Bart made it to the branches below where his sister was sitting cross legged in the setting sun's light.
Her face was serene and beautiful in the soft glow, her skin covered in goose bumps and dirt, dead pine needles stuck to her. The soles of her feet were caked in a brown dirt and there were leaves and twigs in her pointed hair. Her nipples stood erect and her chest rose and fell with the sound of the wind.
"Can you hear it, the call of nature Bart?" Lisa said with her eyes closed.
"Lisa come on it's time to go." Bart clung to the branches below his sister and stared up at her, having a mystical experience of some kind, he wasn't sure, but her highness was something to behold. He looked at the shape of her body, the hourglass curve of her lower back as it delicately joined with her tapered hips and looked away again, his face scarlet red.
"You can look at me Bart, I'm not ashamed." Lisa didn't open her eyes or turn her head away as the light rolled across her face.
Bart looked away at the setting sun, the green valley dipping off into the distance, the mountain rising over the red horizon.
"It is beautiful," Bart said looking back at his sister for a moment, watching her breath rise and fall, the shape of her breasts, only recently matured to the soft cup they had become in the past year or two. He remembered the times he had seen her naked before, at the summer camp when they were both kids and how much she had grown since then. He looked up and saw that Lisa was watching him ogle her body, their eyes met and a charge passed between them, a caring for each other that went beyond the physical, their souls would guard each other in any walk that life took and they knew it.
"Bart..." Lisa started to say, her glazed eyes fluttering as she gazed into his eyes and leaned close.
"Yeah Lisa?" Bart said in a lifting tone, swallowing the saliva in his mouth as he watched his sister's face draw closer.
"Do you think squirrels are made out of cauliflower?" Lisa said slowly and kind of highly.
Lisa slumped over and Bart rushed up the tree to catch her.
"Jeez Lise." Bart said to his passed out sister.
He gingerly helped guide her back down to Earth and sat her at the base of the tree as she kept mumbling about the secret reality of termites.

Leaning on Bart, they trudged through the woods back to the car, Bart sat Lisa in the passenger seat and pulled a blanket from the back and threw it over her, careful to avoid looking at her nude body.
"Bart," Lisa reached out and put a hand on Bart's wrist.
"What?" Bart asked, genuinely puzzled.
"Thank you for saving me." Lisa smiled with her eyes closed as she drifted off to sleep.
Bart climbed in the driver's seat and took the car out of park and pulled out back onto the freeway.
"Love you too Lise."
The car drove on into the night, passing signs for an inn a few miles down the road, it pulled off at the exit the signs direct it to, the sign for a little wooden cabin bed and breakfast motel called, "Pine Crest Lodge" shone under the car's headlights as it pulled onto the dirt road towards the main lodge.
Bart changed bills with the front desk clerk for keys and came back to the car as Lisa slept. He pulled into the spot outside the cabin they had been given, number 23, a single story hut with a ramp leading up to the front door.
Bart went around the side and opened the passenger door to the sight of his sister sleeping peacefully. He came in close to her as she mumbled in her sleep and put his shoulder under her arm, lifting her and the woven blanket she was covered with onto his back. He walked with her, her warm body pressed against his, her breasts squeezed against him, her soft breathing against his neck, he could smell her breath. Bart juggled Lisa and the keys then opened the door with a little kick.
Stepping into the room Bart flipped on the light switch with a metal tube running out of it along the wall up to the ceiling, lighting up the modest room, a stitched couch and coffee table, an old wood paneled television with an antenna and the little kitchenette attached at the hip to it all. In the back was a door to the bedrooms, Bart headed towards it, catching sight of himself in the reflection on the cabin window, carrying his blissfully asleep sister. He opened the knob as he shifted Lisa on his back again. He flipped on another switch and dropped her on the bed with a bounce, the blanket covering her shifting to reveal part of the deep yellow of her areola. Bart's heart thumped as he turned out the light and said,
"Night, crazy nature girl," and crashed on the sofa.
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Oh Brother!