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Drinks go down, and what comes out?	By : Richard_Priapi Category: -Misc Cartoons > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 404 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Steven Universe or any of the characters from it. (Sugar, are you looking to sell?) Nor do I make any money on this endeavor. (To the chronic dismay of my checkbook.) I am but a horny bard, for your graphic edification.

Chapter List
- 1-A gem's first sips.
- 1
As the door chime of the 9-9 convenience store chimed, a pimple-faced teen turned to greet his new customers as was required protocol by corporate.
“Welcome to nine- nine one one, YIKES!” Crouching behind the counter, he watched every step his new customers made. The boy seemed all right- a pink jacket was a little unusual for the outskirts of corn country in the Plains State, but nothing could compare to his companion- 8 feet of hell in a skintight suit, the mystifying orange woman had to duck her- horns?- to get through the door.

Steven sighed. On the second leg of his trip around the US, he had reconsidered Jasper’s offer of company. She had even agreed, after some coaxing, to give up calling him her diamond or to act as his bodyguard, and to try to establish something more like an earthly friendship. Still, she refused to shapeshift. Or to wear normal clothes. Or to smile. None of which was winning them any favor with the locals.

“What is our mission at this location, my Steven?” She asked, scanning back and forth across the empty store’s shelves.
“I told you,” Steven said, cradling his face in a palm, “We are picking up some snacks to take back to the hotel tonight for when I get hungry or thirsty.”
“You organics and your backwards feedings. I’m still amazed you can function using such primitive fuels.”
“You know Jasper, a lot of gems like Earth food and drinks. Even Pearl can handle an apple juice here and there. You should try some sometime.”
“Is that an order, my Steven?” On a thousand years’ reflex, she straightened her back and began to salute.
“No! No! Just a suggestion. I think you would have a good time. We’re on this trip to have a good time.” This he added as much for her as for the shaking clerk still hunched behind the counter.

“I accept your challenge, my Steven. Bring me the best your planet has to offer!”
With a sigh of exasperation that she still could not simply say his name, he rattled off a quick list of drinks. More surprising to him was that in her search, she halted and called out “Some of these canisters have pictures of powerful beasts. Are those worth my time?”
“Well, I’d say anything you want to try is worth your time. Grab whatever you want!”
With that, the rolling mountain of cans she assembled collapsed onto the counter. The clerk, bless him, was able to steady his shaking hands long enough to scan them through and ring his customers out, relief swelling in his heart as the odd pair squeezed through the door and into their vehicle.

Back at the hotel, Jasper and Steven perched on their beds, a desk dragged in front of them to display the array of snacks and drinks- some of which Steven didn’t recognize.
“Ok Jasper, here’s a good one to start with. It’s pretty popular all over the planet!” Steven held up a bright red can with flowing silver script for the massive gem to take delicately in two fingers. Jasper tried to open it- her fingers sliding off the surface three times without catching the tab.
“Uh… here, may I should help with that.”
Both of their faces flushed with embarrassment as the ancient warrior reluctantly accepted the spunky teen’s offer of help.
Delicately, she held the can to her lips. The cool black liquid slid down her throat as she repressed a shudder and lowered her head to swallow.
“So…. How is it?”
Jasper’s downcast eyes shot up, twinkling with tiny stars.
“What is this bubbling? And why does it taste so…” she snapped her fingers trying to place the unfamiliar word.
“Sweet?”
“I guess! Is there more?” Without waiting for his answer she brought the can up to her lips and chugged, crunching the empty vessel in her palm and tossing it to the corner.
Steven chuckled, picking up a new can.
“Of course! We earthlings love to taste sweet things. Try this one- it’s orange flavored.”
“How do you make something taste like a color?” The gem asked, a finger straying over her own tiger-striped skin.
“Just trust me.”
Steven popped the top for her before grabbing a soda himself, delighting in Jasper’s infectious glee as she savored a new taste.
“Don’t you tell that purple runt or your rogue pearl I said this, but you Earthlings may by onto something with this snacks thing. What else you got?”
Steven laughed at the sight of the massive gem hunched over the small table, scanning each cans with her eyes like a kid scanning presents under the Christmas tree.
“Tell you what. You picked some things that look new to me-let’s try one together!”
Reaching into her side of the pile he pulled out a silvery white can that boasted itself to be a Pina Colada seltzer. As a flavor he knew and loved from beachside snoball stands, it seemed as good a place as any to start. And there were more cans like it in Jasper’s pile: slim and tall cans with all kinds of flavors and designs. He flushed with pride to see his most difficult homeworlder broadening her horizons so much in one day.
“Cheers!” he said, passing her the can. Instead of waiting for him to open it, she simply stuck one end of the drink in her mouth, bit down hard, and sucked it dry, joy etched on every feature.
Oh yeah, Steven thought, this would be a good night.
Sure did start off that way. Somewhere after the third flavor they had tried together Steven had started feeling a little different than usual. He and Jasper were really hitting it off! Laughing and joking, he saw a new side to the gem who had formerly been most at home teaching him to break rocks.
But after an hour or two he’d begun to feel lightheaded and wobbly on his feet, so he quicky made his excuses and turned in for the night.

It had to have been midnight when Steven woke up to Jasper hunched over his bed, biting her lip.
“Steven. My Steven. Pink. You.”
“Jasper? What-“
“Something feels wrong Steven. I don’t know what it is.” Her voice was quick and frantic, her eyes scanning his for a sign.
It’s not pain. It’s just a kind of pressure in me. It’s getting worse!”

Slowly it began to dawn on Steven.
“OK Jasper you need to stand up and follow me-“
She was able to get as far as standing up before clapping a panicked hand to her gut.
“It’s no use, the pressure’s gone too far. If I poof I need you to hold my gem-“ her voice trailed off into an uncharacteristic squeak as a dark stain began to spread across the groin of her jumpsuit. The gem stood transfixed as warm streams of liquid trailed down her legs onto the floor, and Steven could only sit in stunned silence with her as he watched the powerful woman have her very first accident.

She tore her eyes away from her wet pants back to her new travel buddy, the question still hanging unfinished in the air.
Seeing her face look so totally befuddled, Steven failed to stifle a laugh.
“So… Jasper, there’s this thing that happens when you drink. Your body takes the liquid in, but it has to go somewhere later. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”
The orange gem turned a purple red as a blush covered her face to the ears.
“You knew this was going to happen and you just let it? What was this, a joke to you?”
Now Steven threw back the blankets and dragged himself upright, spluttering his protests.
“No, no- I was just feeling funny after all those drinks we had and-“
“Funny? I’ll give you funny!” The humiliated gem said, jumping onto the bed and pinning Steven’s chest between her thighs.
He grunted at the sudden impact, and while his mind raced trying to find a way to calm Jasper without violence, he became aware of her hot pee soaking through his pajamas, a strong contrast to the cool air in the room. With a free hand Jasper reached down between her legs and tore out a section of her jumpsuit, revealing her polished mound.
“Whoah whoah, wait Jasper- what are you?”

Jasper drowned Steven’s complaint in a wave of fresh urine. He barely had time to close his eyes before it sprayed across his chest and face, splattering onto his lips and into his mouth. He braced himself for a gag that never game. Gripped with morbid curiosity, he opened his eyes. The furious look he had expected to see in Jasper’s eyes had been replaced with relief as she emptied more of the pressure inside her. Despite the differences in her biology, Jasper’s pee was golden and clear, unsettlingly hot but with a mild taste Steven could almost imagine was sweet. Trapped between Jasper’s muscular legs and guided by hormones, Steven surprised them both by placing raising his head and planting his mouth in Jasper’s crotch. The gem gasped as Steven began to lap at her pussy, coasting his tongue up and down her slit and across her clit with no mind at all to the mess his face was becoming.
“Oh stars, are you actually getting hard right now?” Jasper reached a rough hand behind her, seizing in her palm all the evidence she needed.
“You really are, aren’t you? The son of the mighty Pink Diamond is getting his prod rod stiff over… liquid trash?”
With an experimental flex of muscles she scarcely knew she had, Jasper brought the stream to a pause. Taking Steven’s face in both hands she jerked his face upwards so he could meet her glare.
“What do you even call this stuff?”
“Piss, pee, I mean there are other names-“
Jasper gave Steven’s head a quick shake.
“Tell me Steven, do you really like drinking this piss?”
Unable to bring himself to speak, Steven nodded dumbly, now thinking entirely with his engorged dick.
“Well then drink up, runt.”
Jasper shoved his head back into her groin and relaxed her bladder, the rish golden stream flowing once again as Steven took her encouragement to heart, taking half gulps in between his licking and nibbling at her pussy, spilling the rest wantonly on the bed. When the stream died down and he had slurped the last feeble drops, Jasper seized his wrists in her oversized grip and braced his hands up over his head.
“We aren’t done here,” she growled, planting her pussy firmly on his face.
Wordlessly she began to rock back and forth, riding his face from chin to nose as he managed to poke his tongue out and catch her where he could. Soon the last taste of her pee was replaced by a sweeter, slicker nectar.
Steven ached for release but his cock remained so painfully out of reach as Jasper polished herself. With the warm and reassuring pressure of her thighs by his side and her hands on his wrists, he found himself nearly hypnotized, moaning and panting along with her as she neared her climax.
He knew it had arrived when one of her hands found itself clutching his hair, pressing him so tight to her that he thought he could faint, the fine muscles of her pussy twitching and pulsing as her moans crescendoed and then trailed away.
As if woken from a trance, Jasper scrambled backwards down to the food of the bed, her rear brushing his erection as she passed. Steven too pushed himself backwards into the headboard. The rebellious bodyguard and the sopping wet demigem met each other’s gaze with a pregnant silence for what seemed like an eternity.

At length, somebody broke the silence.
“So… more drinks?”
And the answer was a grin.
- 1
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Drinks go down, and what comes out?