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To Pitch a Tent	By : Richard_Priapi Category: +S through Z > Steven Universe Views: 2103 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe or any of the characters in it. (Fun as that would be.) I make 0 money from writing this fiction. (More's the pity.) I am just a humble horny soul moaning into the void.

Chapter List
- 1-The cave demon. (Jasper x reader, male.)
- 2-The Purple Deer
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(Note to the horniest readers: to skip to the porn, CTRL F giant woman)
           It was supposed to be an ordinary camping trip to scenic Beach City. Beat the hotel price gougers, enjoy the waves with a side of nature, maybe slug a few cold ones. But luck is a quirky lady, and she had different plans for you. Gorgeous ruby sunset lit your hike as you combed the woods to find the best place for a tent. Half-intoxicated on fresh air and the lure of adventure, you stumbled upon a canvas tarp draped across a hole in the side of a craggy hill. You pause- worrying about disturbing a homeless person’s private shelter- when you notice the shadow cast at your feet is larger by half than yours should be- and it has horns.
             Spinning around, you catch your first glimpse of one of the infamous gems your cousin warned you had seemingly taken over the town. Your stomach catches in your throat as you find yourself leaning up to find her face- Christ, eight feet of rippled muscle, warm amber skin splotched with mossy green. Silver hair rakishly unkempt but unbothered by the summer humidity. Her expression is inscrutable as the sphynx’s, but her eyes pierce you and you feel like you are being sized up by a judge, or an executioner.
“You, puny human- what are you doing here?” Her voice comes in a growl, with just the barest hint of a threat behind her simple curiosity.
Quickly you stammer out an explanation- “I’m just looking for a place to sleep- I just want to camp out, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I can go-”
Her lips curl in a sneer, but her stance relaxes and she crosses her arms. Your knees weaken at the sight of this wild forest oni.
“If that’s all, then you’re hardly going to be a problem. Just stay out of my way, got it pipsqueak?”
“Yes ma’aam” bubbles out of your lips along with a none-too-crisp salute.
Her sneer deepens, but for a moment you swear the light in her eyes verges on merriment.
“You know your place. I like that. But my name is Jasper.”
Without another word she brushes past you to her shelter, one thick arm brushing away the curtain as she slips inside.

       Hours later, you have adapted to camping next to the great big scary lady. Tent- pitched. Speaker- synced to phone and pumping tuned. Drinks? F l o w i n g. From the flickering light of your campfire, the tarp over the gem’s cave seems a mysterious mouth yawning out of the rock face. You can’t help but watch the firelight playing across the fabric and wondering about its enigmatic inhabitant. Was it the firelight playing tricks on you, or did the edge of the fabric part for just a second? Suddenly the fire splutters as a sheets of rain pelt down from the sky you were sure was clear an hour ago. Sleep might not come easily tonight as the storm escalates, the walls of your tent pitch drunkenly in the wind and lightning paints the clearing in eerie white strobes. You barely have the fire doused when a canon crack of thunder roars in your ears, and a tree too close for comfort explodes into crispy shards, pulling a full scream from your throat.
        The door to the cave flies open- “Human! Get over here.”
You don’t need to be told twice- you grab your cooler and rush headlong to the cave, just in time to see guylines holding your tent pop out of the ground. Yeah, you would have 100% died in there.
“You don’t look so good.” She drawls, plunking down on a log along the wall. “You going to be all right?”

As far as you can see, the log is her only furniture. Spreading her legs and stretching her arms out to either side, there doesn’t seem like room for two. Instead you try to stand as casually as possible, and crack a fresh can from your cooler. “A couple more of these, and I will be.” You flash her a smile and drink deeply, and she laughs. It’s a rough, boisterous sound that warms you almost as much as the booze sliding down your throat.
“You seem a lot more comfortable now. Would have thought you were going to collapse when I first saw you.”
You shrug.
“It’s a human thing. I’m having a, uh… strength potion. Makes me feel like I can do anything. Mind if I take my shirt off, by the way? These wet clothes aren’t any fun.”
“Humans and your frail little bodies. Why not take it all off if it’s so uncomfortable?”
Beneath the simplicity of that sentence lurks a challenge- an insult even.
“Yeah, guess I could take it all off. Course, I don’t usually go full frontal until the third date, when I know people can handle what I’ve got going on.”
Her sneer from before is back now, larger than ever.
“Oh- you’re worried I can’t handle you? Better show me what you mean, little one.” She leans forward, taking in your body as you peel clothes off, piece by piece. Her eyes are twinkling now, mischievous and wild. As your underwear comes off, you can’t hide the erection that springs upward, standing proud in front of this giant woman.
“Oh nooooo. Is that a weapon? How will I survive?” Her teasing voice purrs. “Guess I’ll have to strike first.”
Your half-formed response dies in your throat as with impossible speed for her size, she surges forward from her seat. Momentarily you are pushed off your balance, secured only by the two massive hands pressing your face to hers as she leans over you.
Reflexively you return her kiss, tongue pressed fiercely against hers, but even this most delicate of her muscles fights for keeps. Pressing forward her tongue pushes your own along a trembling dance as it explores your mouth with reckless abandon before its tip slides down your throat. Your eyes widen in shock at the sudden advance, your muted moans of protest fading as the fingers around your face entwine with your hair.
The feeling takes a moment of getting used to, but resourcefully you wrap drape your arms around her neck, and bracing your heels against her thighs, pull yourself onto an even ground. Despite your disadvantage, you continue to work your tongue against hers, sucking breath greedily through your nose.

Jasper pulls back, an arched eyebrow the only signal or her approval. Your breath comes in short gasps as you catch up with an encounter escalating with every move. You try to read her with your eyes, body still braced tensely on her legs and neck.

“So you really think you can keep up with me. That’s good- it lets me try a few new tricks.”
Before you have a chance to ask her what she means Jasper changes her grip- grabbing you around the waist and lifting you into the air. You twist and wiggle until you can get your hands on her shoulders for support, struck by the impossible smoothness of her skin and the firm muscle solid underneath. As you recover her balance, her arms snake under your thighs, palms resting in the small of your back.
Jasper wraps her lips around your cock, her kiss now is astonishingly gentle compared to the hold she has you in. As you wriggle to be sure her jade horns are nowhere near anything important, you take in her face- its stern beauty highlighted in every detail. Golden eyes peaking out through scarlet stripes, brilliant with focused attention as amber lips and tongue pump rhythmically against your more mundane flesh.
Another shock is seeing her sucking your dick like it were little more than a nipple, her tongue creeping around your whole length as it presses against the gentle vacuum of her lips, and a chill runs down your spine thinking of the vulnerable position you’re in.
Slowly she draws herself backwards off of your length, lips squeezing ever tighter until the tip breaks free of her mouth with a satisfying pop from her lips, and an “ah!” from yours.
When she speaks, a string of saliva and precum still trails between her mouth and your body.

“Well well, looks like you can take some punishment after all. I may have to stop holding back.”
“What do you mea-oh.”
A finger the size of a fat sausage probes the entrance to your backside as she pulls you back into her mouth, burying her nose in the hair of your groin. Worse and better still, she works her tongue and lips in sync with her finger as inch by terrible, splendorous inch the finger works deeper into you. You squirm more and more, now no longer concerned by your precarious place in the air but by the waves of pleasure rocking you as your prostate and penis race each other to the finish line. Your hips begin to bob as you play into her ministrations, fingers clawing into her shoulders as you bite back moans and whimpers.
You gasp, as her finger is unceremoniously yanked from your rear, and she drops to her knees, putting you on the ground flat on your ass.
“What the hell?” You grouse, rubbing your offended posterior.
She reclines on the floor, legs spread.
“I don’t normally let humans cum in my mouth until the third… date, did you say? But you could convince me you deserve it you can finish with my feet.”
You open your mouth to complain, but she holds up a finger.
“Before you argue, let me remind you what’s at stake here.”
Her clothes disappear in a momentary flash of light- as your eyes recover you can scarcely hold back a curse.
Reclined on the floor, propped up on her elbows, she rests in all her glory. Breasts you know would be absurdly huge on a human look sleek and pert on her broad chest. You try to count what you assume is a six pack of her abs, but lose count with distraction after three as you see them shifting as she breathes. As if sensing your distraction, she spreads her thick, powerful thighs, revealing a puffy pussy, glistening with wetness and topped with an unruly crop of silver hair. She raises on leg, points her toes towards your hips and wiggles her toes.
Dutifully, you crawl forward and put your cock between her toes. Her other leg follows, the top of her foot resting along the underside of your dick, as she begins to wiggle the toes of her first foot around your slippery shaft. She nearly starts gently, but as her confidence in your survival grows, her toes knead you more aggressively.
“Oh, you like this, don’t you?”
“Yes!”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, Jasper!”
A pause. Agony, pure and simple.
“Yes… Ma’am?”
“Good boy.”
Her praise is golden, and reflexively you take hold of her ankles, massaging them up to her calf as she works her magic.
“Do you want to finish?” She asks, slowing her motions almost imperceptibly to anybody not on the verge of an orgasm.
“Yes ma’am!” you call out, trying to preserve a scrap of dignity as you lightly hump her toes.
She pulls back to adjust her pose, then braces her heels together and wraps her soles around you once again.
“Then cum, human. Show me what you can do with that little stick of yours.”
She continues to encourage you as you thrust against her, each wrinkle of silky magical flesh ribbed for your delight. Finally, you can take no more and cum begins to spurt in ropy globs across her feet. They grip your dick tightly, as she locks her eyes on yours, her predatory wolfish expression to your dazed and hazy gaze.
“You made all that mess for me? I guess you’ve earned your reward. Get in there before I change my mind.”
She spread her legs wide, planting her heels in the dirt of the cave floor and crooking her finger at you.
You scrabble forward on hand and knee, and begin to line yourself up with her entrance as she puts a hand on your chest.
“Really, you think that puny human dick is going to do anything for me there? Be a man, use your fist.”

Still punch-drunk on her approval and your own afterglow, you don’t want to risk a refusal now. You begin to rub her entrance with the palm of your hand first, and despite herself a small “Ah!” slips out. Her clit peeks out into the cool air, smooth round and glistening as a marble. As you bring your fingers to a point at her entrance, you lean in to take in her scent. A rich, earthy musk, almost eerily devoid of sweat takes hold on you. You latch your lips around her swollen clit at the same moment you push your hand inside of her, slowly but firmly pushing down to the wrist.
“Fuuuuuck,” is the only encouragement she needs to give you. Running your free hand up and down the taut muscles of her upper thigh, your tongue working its way around her reddish pearl, and carefully pressing into her further. By the time you’re up to your elbow in her, your face is smeared with fragrant juices. You sneak a peak at her stomach, hoping to see the bulge of your fist beneath her sleek washboard, but all you see are her hungry eyes looking down at you, asking for more.
Taking a breath to steady yourself, you back your face away and cock your arm back before plunging it back in at full strength. She arches her back, guttural moans echoing off the hard cave walls. Her juices cover you up to our elbow, the sweet earthy musk of her alien pussy filling your head as you punch harder and faster, watching her breasts bounce gently as you go.
“Wait! Wait!” She barks.
You yank your arm out with a plop, worried that you’ve injured her. Instead she rolls onto her hands and knees, leaning back to present her ass at the best angle, her puckered hole peeking between her firm cheeks, a few greenish freckles speckling her cheeks.
“Now eat my asshole and get back to work!”
Maybe it’s the drinks talking, but you have zero questions about eating this strange alien’s asshole in a cave. Briefly you spread it open with two fingers. There’s no hair around it, and the insides are adorably pink and soft. Curiously it has no smell of its own. You plunge your tongue in fearlessly, lapping the warm, smooth opening as deeply as you can. Grunting, she slams her hips backward, snapping your head back on your neck.
“Forgetting something?”
“Sorry-“ You slide your pussy-slick fist back into her and bury your nose between her cheeks.
Her words come out in a breathy sigh as she mutters “that’s more like it.”
You return to your rhythm, pounding your fist as far into her as you can manage while switching playfully between tongue fucking her ass or twirling your tongue around the rim of her hole. Her moans and groans build in pitch and intensity, and you can just make out over her sculpted back the sight of her hands digging into the dirt, clenching and unclenching.
“Oh fuck, put it in.”
Freeing your hand form inside her cunt, you scramble up as high onto your knees as you can, and slam your dick into the capacious hole in one thrust.
“No you idiot, put it in my asshole.”
The slightest sigh sounds as you pull your cock back out, lining it up now with her tight ass. Well lubed with your spit, it takes you without a struggle.
Standing delicately on tiptoe and supporting your weight with both hands on that beautiful, thick, tight ass, you can just keep yourself in the right spot. The tall gem slides a hand between her legs, pawing her clit and fingering herself roughly in time with your thrusts.
“Oh my god. Holy shit, I’m so close” you whine around ragged breaths.
“Then what are you waiting for, human? Finish in me- do it!”
Punctuating her words, Jasper clenches and relaxes herself around you, her asshole sucking your dry like a straw as you groan. Spent and tired, you try to pull out, but the gem’s ass squeezes your cock with a vise grip.
“You move before I come and I swear to god you’ll be eating that load back out of me,” she snarls, fingers working ever faster as she builds to her own climax. You lean forward, tired body draping across her broad form, dick twitching as if figuring out if it were needed for a third round. You reach around and grab as much of her breasts as you can manage in each hand, catching a nipple for your trouble in between bounces.
Working her fingers faster and faster, Jasper lets out a series of harsh, barking moans, groaning and grunting as her body quivers, nearly toppling you to the floor.
A torrent of liquid squirts out from her pussy and drenches the floor of the cave as Jasper collapses victoriously to the ground with you still riding her chiseled back.
Cautiously you roll apart from each other. The smile on her face now is still wolfish, but she beams at you now. You begin to stand up, but a hand the size of a dinner plate pushes you back to the ground.
“Oh no. You’re not going anywhere. The weather out there still isn’t safe. But stay here with me and I’ll protect you. Besides, you might want something for… what do you humans call it- breakfast? And I know a few things you could eat.”
Blushing at the intimacy despite the debauchery you were still recovering from, you mutter your thanks.
“Wait a second- I don’t think I ever even told you my name,” you protest.
As a tree trunk arm coils around your torso and pulls you close, a hot breath in your ear rasps.
“Tell me tomorrow. Tonight you’re still my new pet.

Outside the cave, two gems surveyed their handiwork. A blue gems arms swayed, bringing the wind and rain slowly to a calm pitch.
“Wow Peridot, you weren’t kidding about that lightning generator. Drove them together faster than any flood I could have kicked up.”
The little green Dorito snickered, muttering an aside into a tape recorder about the efficiency of her most recent calibration before addressing her companion.
“Don’t sell yourself short Lapis. The facsimile of a sudden rainstorm was impeccable. I can hardly believe it- our plan worked just like it did on camp Pining Hearts! Thank you for agreeing to help me with my little project. All the time I spend with her on our ship, I knew Jasper needed something to loosen her up.”

Lapis grimaced at this act of charity to quite possibly her least favorite gem warrior.
“Well, let’s just hope this gets her to stop throwing her boulders all over the town. We don’t want to interrupt Steven’s road trip just to scold her. Now, if we’re done here, back to the barn?”
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To Pitch a Tent