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Candace Flynn's Day Off	By : Andre_Smithee Category: +M through R > Phineas and Ferb Views: 8418 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Phineas and Ferb, nor the characters that appear on the show. I also do not make any money off of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Candace Flynn's Day Off
- 2-Candace II
- 1
- 2
Candace Flynn’s Day Off

“Ohh…my head…”
Candace Flynn vocalized her pain as her eyes slowly open, only to shut again from the sunlight through her window greeting her. It was late morning at the Flynn-Fletcher residence, and the house was relatively empty; save for Candace’s room, which had the appearance of the aftermath of a Tornado. Clothes were strewn everywhere, and Candace’s mattress was hanging halfway off of her bed, with her lying on it. Her eyes reopened as her vision adjusted to the light, allowing her to see the wreckage around her.
“What happened…?” She asked herself. “I…can’t remember anything from last night…”
Her statement would be reaffirmed as she glanced down to see herself wearing a Fireside Girls Sash with her badges. Her Ducky Momo plush was also with her, placed strategically between her legs to cover her up.
“Oh no, not good…did I break any laws?”
“Not sure…” Candace turned her head to her right to see Jeremy slowly peering up from the other side of her bed. “…but we may have broken some laws of physics with what we did…if I could remember it.”
Immediately Candace began to blush, thinking they had a wild sex romp last time. “Well, what can I say?” She replied, before changing her voice to seductive. “Was it good for you?”
“Actually, it was…” Candace then turned her gaze down between her legs, where a pile of her clothing slowly parted, and revealed her best friend Stacey buried under it, between her legs. “At least I think it was. I can’t remember much from yesterday, except for a guitar, a jet engine, and you screaming wildly.”
Candace’s face became bright red upon this revelation, as a wave of embarrassment washed over her. “What the…how the…oh god, how can this get any worse?”
“Well that’s negative thinking…” Candace quickly realized how when she recognized the British accent, and turned to look across the room. Sure enough, behind her computer desk appeared her cousin-in-law, Eliza. “Especially considering the smashing good time we had last night.”
“So you know what happened last night!?” Candace asked.
“Not a clue.” Eliza answered. “But I find whenever good friends wake up together barely clothed, it was always a good night before. By the way Jeremy, quite a package you’re gifted with.”
“Heh…thanks.” He responded with a shy grin.
“HEY!!!” Candace said in protest. “That’s my package you’re looking at! I mean, it’s his, but it belongs to me! Well, he does technically own it, but—!”
“Calm down, Candace.” Eliza suggested. “No need to fly off the handle, considering we probably all know each other intimately after last night.”
“No…no, no, no, no, NO!” Candace muttered. “This…this is all…just…” She was almost completely perplexed, dumbfounded by everything around her. And the worst part was she couldn’t remember one minute of what led her to this moment. But she didn’t hesitate to place blame on who could be responsible for all of this.
“Phineas and Ferb! I KNOW they’re behind this! I’m gonna—!”
“Candace, no!” Stacey told her firmly. “You’re breaking your promise.”
“Promise…what promise!?” Candace asked.
“The promise you made to not bust your brothers today.” Stacey reminded her. “Or yesterday, since it’s morning and…”
“How do you know I made it if you can’t remember what happened last night?” Candace countered.
“Because that’s the LAST thing I remember from yesterday.” Stacey told her.
“I kinda remember that too, now that I think of it.” Jeremy added.
“Ditto.” Eliza chimed in.
“Enough talking, I’m getting Mom!” Candace quickly jumped to her feet and rushed towards the door, until her cousin stopped her.
“I wouldn’t do that, Candace.”
“And why not!?” The redhead asked in a huff.
“Two reasons…” The British beauty replied. “One, I don’t think Ferb or Phineas are behind our little predicament. And two, I believe it is universal manners to greet your parents while at least wearing your undergarments.”
Candace was a little confused about the second reason, until she felt a slight breeze, and was reminded that her sash could only cover so much of her body. Scanning the room, she quickly found a pair of Ducky Momo boy shorts that she slipped into, as Jeremy looked on in awe.
“Hey, you weren’t looking at my ass like that last night…” Stacey objected. “Or were you?”
“Well, he is MY boyfriend.” Candace answered for him as she put on her bra.

Stacey was reminded that it was true. “You got a point there…”
“Alright.” Candace said, her private parts fully covered. “Just let me get my blouse and skirt…” Walking over to her closet, she swung the door open and looked in, only to be greeted by an unusual site…a large Ostrich wearing a hat, with a serious look on his face.
In a frantic she shut the door and put her back against it, as the three teens in the room looked back at her. “…there’s an ostrich in my closet.”
Eliza was confused. “Beg pardon?”
“There is…an ostrich…in my closet.” Candace clarified.
“I’m sorry, is this one of those quirky American sayings?” Eliza inquired.
Getting perturbed, Candace stepped away from the door and opened it, showing the contents inside. “Does THIS look like an American saying!?” She held the door open for a moment, before shutting it again, and leaning against it.
“…it was wearing a rather dashing fedora.” Eliza commented.
“Yeah, I thought it looked great on him.” Stacey agreed.
“It gave him sort of a cool spy look.” Jeremy chimed in.
Candace couldn’t believe it. “NONE OF YOU are freaked out by this? NONE OF YOU!?”
“Calm down, Candace.” Stacey told her as she stood up, revealing she was only wearing a black thong. “Any questions you have can all be answered with this.” She held up a digital camcorder for her friends to see, revealing that the past night in question had been recorded. Candace breathed a small sigh of relief, for not only could she know exactly what happen, but it was an opportunity to catch her brother’s on tape to bust them undisputedly.
“Alright, alright. Play the tape.” She said as she huddled close to her BFF. Jeremy and Eliza, both in their underwear and the latter without a bra, joined close as well to see just what was recorded on the tape…
The screen filled with snowy static as the recording began, but it quickly was cut out with the image of Candace looking dumbfounded beside her mother, as Phineas, Ferb and their friends calmly approached them.
“Well Candace, I don’t see any Rainbow Racetrack holding Go-Karts that shoot multi-colored shells and banana peels…” Linda said.

Candace could only reply with stuttered shock. “B-but, b-but, but-but…”
“Really Candace, you should leave those video games alone.” Her mother suggested. “Now, who wants some muffins?”
“Sweet.” Isabella proclaimed.
“Just give me the tops, Baljeet can have the bottoms.” Buford declared.
“Um…I don’t know whether to be honored or insulted by that.” Baljeet responded.
“Always can go for some muffins.” Phineas added.
And as the children passed by, Candace could only stand idly by in stunned silence…until her mind snapped and she flew in a rage. “Oh no, NOT THIS TIME!!!”
“Candace, wait!”
The footage from the camera became shaky as Stacey’s voice was overheard. It would soon steady as the camera focused back on Candace, who was being restrained by Jeremy & Eliza. “Let me go, guys!”
“No way, Candace.” Stacey replied. “Look, we know you’re upset about your Mom not seeing what your brothers did…”
“But you’re starting to act like…what’s the name of that big, green bloke?” Eliza asked.
“The Incredible Hulk?” Jeremy answered.
Eliza nodded. “Right. And to be honest, not very ladylike.”
“But I can’t help it!” Candace lamented, finally ceasing her struggle. “They’re…just pests! I know they’re gonna do something to ruin my day and…”
“There’s the problem right there, Candace.” Jeremy surmised. “You’re too worried about your brothers. Look, we got the rest of the day and the whole night together. How about we just spend it out, with friends?”
“And NO talk about Phineas and Ferb.” Eliza added.
Candace sighed, and reluctantly agreed. “OK, alright…we’ll just go out on the town together for the night.”
“And?” Eliza added.
“And no talk about my brothers.”
“Not good enough.” Stacey chimed in. “I want you to promise, and you know what that mean.”
“Oh come on, not the handshake!” Candace argued. Stacey stayed firm however, and Candace caved in.
“Oh alright. Jeremy, Eliza, close your eyes.”
The two were hesitant to follow through with Candace’s request, but eventually did so as she and Stacey took part in an elaborate handshake that involved complex hand gestures, posing that came straight out of Sentai shows, and what appeared to be an improvised chicken dance. Once finished, Candace informed her boyfriend & cousin.
“Alright, the promise is made. So, what do we do first?”
“Well, we could—!” KSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Static and snow appeared on the screen again, leaving the four clueless on the events that took place to lead them here.
“What…that’s it?” Candace said. “Well this sucks. And I still say Phineas & Ferb are behind this!”
“No offense Candace, but you’d think they were responsible for the Moon Landing if you saw them near a rocket.” Eliza commented.
“Hey, they went to Space Camp for 2 weeks, last summer.” Candace argued. “That’s more than enough time for them to learn Rocket Science.”
“Hey, what’s this?” Jeremy spotted a shiny coin on a part of the carpet that wasn’t covered in clothing. Picking it up, he got a close-up look to see that it wasn’t a coin at all. “It’s a token from Little Duffers.”
“The Mini Golf place?” Candace responded.
“It must’ve been one of the spots we journeyed to last night.” Eliza deduced. “It surely couldn’t hurt checking it out.”
“Sweet! And I can improve my score on the course!” Stacey added.
“Then we’re all agreed.” Candace announced, as she stood ready to lead her friends on this mystery. “TO THE GOLF COURSE!”
As she marched towards the door though, her cousin stopped her again. “Uh Candice, clothing…”
Candace stopped and looked down, noticing she was only in her bra & panties. “…I knew that. I was just testing to see if YOU knew that.” She reached for her closet, but stopped after remembering what was inside. “Uh, Jeremy? Could you be a dear…ostriches kinda freak me out.”
######################
“And here we are…”
It was just little after 1pm when the 4 arrived at the Miniature Golf Course, which was celebrating a revival in business due to Phineas & Ferb’s creation dropping down on the formerly closed down lot. As soon as Candace laid eyes on the holes and obstacles created by her little brothers she began to seethe, but was pulled out of it by Stacey’s disapproving stare.
“Huh, you know as long as I’ve lived in Danville, I’ve never been here.” Jeremy revealed. “I always thought it was just Golf in Miniature.”
“It’s a common misconception.” Eliza commented.
“I just hope they still have my score up.” Stacey said. “I was on fire that day.”
“Your friend’s quite competitive, Candace.” Eliza noted, which didn’t sit well with Stacey.
“What’s wrong with that, you wanna piece of me!?”
Growing annoying, Candace grabbed her BFF’s arm and dragged her inside. “Come on, Killer. Well get you some competition inside.”
Eliza and Jeremy followed the two inside, past the Mini-Golf Check-in desk and to another part of Little Duffer’s, the Game Room. As they entered inside, they were greeted by numerous neon & flashing lights, and various electronic sounds which filled the air. After a little roaming, they were able to locate the owner of Little Duffer’s; a diminutive Scots-Irishman who was overseeing the daily affairs.
“Excuse me,” Candace began, “you’re the owner of this place, right?”
“Aye, that would be me!” He said as he faced them, immediately recognizing the four. “Ohh-hohoho! You four back for more, huh? Well we’re holding a special deal for you high-rollers. Spend $500 and you’ll get your face put on the 14th Hole! But that’s it; I’m holding the others for advertisers!”
“No, no, not that. Listen, I know we were here yesterday but…what exactly were we doing?” Candace asked.
“Ya mean ya do not remember?” The owner said, surprised. “You and ya little friend set the record for most tickets won and most high-scores set. Of course one of those high scores just got beaten…”
“Huh?” The owner pointed over to an arcade cabinet, where two familiar young women were walking towards Candace and the group. “Wait a minute, I recognize you…Wendy & Mindy!”
“Ooh, still as slow as ever, Molasses.” Wendy replied.
“What are you two doing here?” Stacey asked, standing beside her friend.
“Just a little fun on the Dancing Ninja, Monster Hunter.” Mindy replied. “Ooh, that wasn’t YOUR Top Score that we just beat, was it?”
Candace became annoyed. “What are you talking about?”
The two young women lead the 4 over to the large cabinet, which displayed the high scores on its dual-screens. Placed at the top of the list were the initials WAM, while CAS was positioned under them in 2nd place. “That’s right; we’re the top dancers here! So maybe Jeremy would like to be with a winner, instead of you…”
“Uh…”
Before Jeremy could voice his opinion, he found his mouth covered by Eliza. “Trust me; it’s best to remain silent.”
“Oh, I KNOW you just didn’t say that about my girl Candace.” Stacey exclaimed.
Candace however remained silent. She simply moved passed her two rivals with unquestioned determination and pulled a dollar from her pocket. Stepping on the dance platform, she inserted the dollar through the money slot as Stacey joined her. The two stood on their individual platforms as they stretched out and cracked their necks & knuckles, limbering up. Using her right foot, Candace selected the song desired as the owner quickly called everyone around.
“DANCE OFF! We gotta Dance-Off goin’ here!”
Almost immediately, every kid & teen in the room crowded around the cabinet, as Jeremy & Eliza looked on. “This should be interesting…” Eliza stated.
The music began to play as Candace & Stacey took their places, readying themselves for when the step triggers appear on the screen, which showed a giant lizard monster rampaging forward, and a small ninja standing in its path. The high score was also displayed, almost mocking Candace & Stacey as they awaited the start of the game. The two prided themselves on holding the best score in this game each visit here while Phineas & Ferb happily played Mini-Golf with their friends.
And there was no way Candace would let it go, especially to her rivals for Jeremy’s affection.
Symbols of weapons appeared scrolling down on the screen, and the two responded by stepping on the same symbol on the dance platform, going in sync with each other and the prompts on the screen. Their movement perfectly mirrored each other as they hit Perfect on every step brought on in the game. The scrolling would speed up however, but neither girl would be deterred from the obstacles in their path. Their steps quickened with the pace brought on by the prompts and the song, but neither would misstep, keeping their Perfect streak intact.
“There’s no way they can do it.” Wendy said in protest. “No way!”
But despite those protests, both Candace & Stacey were in fact face racing towards their high score, without one flaw in their movement. The song suddenly reached a cool down moment, which Stacey & Candace used to bust out a bonus maneuver, the Matrix. Leaning back as far as they could, they racked up tons of bonus points from the camera on the machine catching their movements, as well as applause from all onlookers, including Jeremy.
As the slow moment was coming to an end, Stacey turned to her BFF. “You think we should take it easy on her?”
Candace quickly glanced at Wendy & Mindy, before turning back to her friend. “…NAH!!!”
And as they rose back upright, their feet became a blur, with the word ‘PERFECT’ shining brightly on each of their screens in gold letters. Jaws were dropped over their movements, which many considered to be simply inhuman. As the song came to its end, it was clear that the old high score was obliterated right before everyone’s eyes. It was confirmed when the screen asked the two to enter their initials for the new high score. Candace used the steps on the platform to enter the C, while Stacey followed suit with the AS. They then climbed off the platform to more applause, as Candace put her arm around her boyfriend, and grinned at her two rivals.
“Well, I guess he’s with a winner now.” She said, before strolling past with her friends. “Queen Candace is out, PEACE!!!”
And with those words she left her two rivals behind, feeling triumphant that she showed her superiority over them in such a public setting. “That rocked, Candace!” Stacey exclaimed. “No way anyone is gonna catch our score. Except maybe that PAF team that’s in 3rd, whoever they are.”
“Oh please.” Candace scoffed. “They’re probably just a bunch of dweebs anyway.”
“Well, that was certainly surprising to see from you, Candace.” Jeremy said. “I didn’t know you were so good at video games.”
“That’s nothing.” Stacey chimed in. “She holds the high score in her wrestling game at home. In fact, one time her brothers modified her tree house along with theirs, and we started duking it out on the streets of Danville and…I’m making you want to bust your brothers, aren’t I?”

Candace responded with an angry nod, but was interrupted as the owner of Little Duffer’s approached them. “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! It’s almost just like last night all over again.”
“You mean, all we did was come here and play video games?” Candace asked.
“Yep…” The owner replied. “…oh, and your British friend here played her guitar topless.”
“Well that doesn’t sound like any…WHAT!?!?”
In an instant, all eyes turned to Candace’s cousin, who was just as clueless as the others were. “Well it had to have been a smashing good time if I did all that…”
“Oh yeah, she certainly got the joint rockin’, as they say.” The owner continued. “Ya all came her from the Squat and Stitch. Heard ya caused a real ruckus back there. Even got some pics o’ ya in action from the internet…”
The diminutive Scots-Irishman showed the teens a photo from the very place the night before. In it, Eliza was shown sliding across the stage of the Squat & Stitch wearing her blazer, punk boots, and nothing else as she wailed away on her guitar, her heaving breasts split down the middle by the fuchsia pink guitar strap. In the background were Jeremy, Stacey & Candace; the former, who was also rocking out with his guitar and in his boxers as the young ladies sung wildly into one microphone, also topless.
It brought Candace to a stern conclusion. “We gotta find out what happened last night…”
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Candace Flynn's Day Off