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Snuff Out a Thousand Suns	By : Evermist Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > AU/AR-Alternate Universe-Alternate Reality Views: 2892 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I don't make money from this. My in-chapter disclaimer is much better than this one. Read that instead.

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I don’t own Invader Zim. This is obvious. If I were Mr. Vasquez, I’d be too busy vomiting out of every orifice on my body from the sheer thought of Zim having a sexual relationship with any of the other characters to be typing this right now.

I blame the Alt-IZ-Lurve club at DeviantArt for this. I’d pretty much given up on writing anything since I lost my drive on ‘Never’, but then they converted to a group and started posting art like crazy. This knocked me into a Zim-binge, causing me to watch all the DVDs in a day followed immediately by watching them with the commentary on, and awoke this old plot bunny from a couple years back. A few people might recognize this; I posted it before on AFF, but it was taken down for some reason I can’t recall. Probably disclaimer issues.

Upon rereading what I still have of it, I determined it to be a terrible, horrible thing to have been forced upon the Internet. I’ve reworked the plot some, and am rewriting the whole thing, even if I only had about three chapters done before.

Enjoy, you horrible sadistic torture-loving freaks! I will try to update this every Sunday, so if I miss a week, feel free to pelt me with moldy acorns!

~*~

“Well, Zim,” Dib said with a sneer, “Looks like I finally win.”

The Irken pushed himself into a sitting position, gingerly touching a cut on his forehead. A glob of thick, purplish blood came away on his finger, and he hissed furiously at Dib. A battle had clearly been fought recently; the streets were full of wreckage and various casualties, both Irken and human. Zim opened his mouth to speak, but a sudden cough wracked his body, spewing more blood onto the ground.

Dib took advantage of the alien’s momentary immobility, grabbing him by the wrist and slapping a pair of large, painful-looking handcuffs onto his arms. Grinning triumphantly, Dib pressed a foot against the back of Zim’s head, grinding his face on the road. He sighed, rubbing a sleeve against a bleeding spot on his own head, and glanced in the direction of approaching sirens. Several police cruisers and a media van were speeding towards them, and the teen laughed happily. It was impossible for Zim to get out of this one! His precious Armada had finally arrived earlier that day, leading a full-scale attack on the planet. Dib had been the only one with any knowledge of the aliens’ weaknesses, and so had been indispensable during the battle. It had been long and hard, but eventually they had won, and now, now, Zim was finally unmasked, and people would have to realize that Dib had been right all this time! They’d finally see that he wasn’t just some big-headed crazy!

The van and one of the cruisers came to a stop next to the two, and Zim was quickly loaded up and taken away. A blonde reporter began interviewing Dib, asking questions about how it felt to finally defeat his life-long nemesis, how long he’d known what Zim was, what his thoughts were about no one ever believing him, and if he had any understanding of just why his head was so large.

“One last question, Dib,” the reporter asked, glancing at her watch.

“Ask away,” he replied, smiling happily.

The blonde beamed back at the boy. “Why can’t you ever stay awake and pay attention during class?”

Dib blinked. “Excuse me?”

The reporter suddenly turned into a massive, balding man in a greasy tank top, and a classroom quickly swam into view. “I shaid, pay attenshun!” he growled, smacking Dib on the back of the head. “Got it?”

The teen sighed, sitting up and wiping a small trail of drool from his cheek. “Yes, Mr. Hansworst,” he murmured, propping his chin in his hand.

“Good,” the teacher huffed, waddling back to the front of the class. “Now, let’sh get back to our leshon, shall we, clash?”

Dib immediately began ignoring the lecture, looking around the room. It had been nearly six years to the day since Zim had arrived on Earth, and he was still stuck in his class. In fact, Dib hadn’t noticed until just this second, but their class hadn’t changed at all, right down to where everyone was sitting at. The only difference that came each year was a new room and a new teacher. Weird.

Over the years, Dib had grown from a short, annoying little boy with an overly large head into a fairly tall, slightly less annoying seventeen-year-old. Unfortunately for him, while most of his classmates had become more proportionate over the years, Dib's head was just as big as it had ever been.

Zim had grown as well. He was still far shorter than the other students, just barely brushing five and a half feet, but it was a vast improvement from the year before. He’d still been the elementary-sized creature he’d been on arrival to Earth, until Dib managed to gain a noticeable amount of suspicion to his size. After that, he’d come to skool on stilts for a month, and then had some inexplicable growth spurt over winter break that had left him looking rather sticky and fragile halfway through January.

The sudden ringing of the skool bell snapped Dib out of his thoughts, and he sighed with relief at being released from the building. He packed his things into his bookbag, smiling at the memory of Gaz’s announcement over breakfast that she would be getting the latest Vampire Piggy Hunter game after skool and then playing the new multi-player mode at a friend’s house all night. There was a Mysterious Mysteries marathon tonight, and Dib was excited to be able to actually watch it without listening to Gaz bitch about it being stupid the whole time.

A ten-minute walk had Dib home, and upon going in and turning on the light, he saw a brief flash of movement across the room. He frowned, staring towards where he would’ve sworn he’d seen a hand. “Gaz? That you? I thought you were going out tonight,” he called, dropping his bag onto the floor and starting across the room.

“Ah...yes...yes, it is I; your normal sister! Do not bother coming over here, for I am leaving now to go and do my things for the night!”

Dib rolled his eyes at the incredibly poor impersonation, and casually picked up the lamp from behind the couch. “Well, I was hoping you could help me with something really quick before you left, Gaz. You’re good at fixing things, right?”

“No; no; I am far too busy to fix your silly Dib objects. Leave me be, and go upstairs! I have things to do down here and do not wish to be disturbed!”

“I thought you were leaving.”

There was a pause for a moment before the intruder continued. “I...I am! I just needed to first...find my remote control! I must have my remote control before leaving the house. It is necessary to my survival to have it! Now leave me be, so I may find it!”

“Oh, come on, Gaz,” Dib drawled. “Before you leave, couldn’t you just take a look at the lamp for me?!” He dove into the shadowed kitchen that the voice had moved into, swinging wildly until he felt the lamp hit something with a very solid ‘thunk’. Smacking the light switch, he saw Zim, clutching his forehead and backing across the room. “C’mere, ‘Gaz’! I just want you to fix this for me real quick!”

Zim shrieked, extending his spider legs to pin Dib against the table. The teen squirmed angrily, glaring at the alien hanging above him. “Ah! DIB still thinks he can defeat ME? Lunacy! Why haven’t you given up yet, hyuman? It’s been nearly six of your years. Why do you still resist me? Why do you still believe you will someday get the best of ZIM? I still live! I still play along with you; using my weakest of plans simply for entertainment! Why, if I wanted to, I could take over your planet while your back was turned for mere seconds! It would be easy for me! You foolish stink-beast, and your smelly head of che-” Zim was interrupted mid-rant by Dib throwing the lamp at him, connecting directly with the wound he’d left before. He blinked in surprise, letting up the pressure on his spider legs for the second Dib needed to throw him off and snatch the lamp back up.

The teen dove on the Irken, slamming the lamp into his forehead several times. There was a rather sickening ‘Crack!’ after a few more hits, and Zim lay perfectly still on the floor. Dib blinked in surprise, dropping the lamp and standing up. “Oh my God...I...I killed him,” he murmured, staring at his fallen enemy. After about a minute, he realized the alien’s chest was still moving slightly. Glancing at the previously-crumpled green forehead, Dib was surprised to find it slowly swelling back to its normal position. He watched it for a few seconds before snapping into action. He grabbed Zim by the ankles, and started dragging him down into the basement. Professor Membrane had let Dib convert it into a sort of lab for himself a couple years back, when he’d moved all of his experiments to his extensive labs across town. Something about evil scientists from a few towns over trying to steal his secrets, and they’d be better protected outside the house. Dib had been forced to soundproof the basement after Gaz starting complaining about being able to hear everything he said to himself through the vents, so it’d be a perfect place to keep Zim and do some serious studying on the alien’s biology. He had an autopsy table; complete with powerful arm and leg restraints; set up down there in the hopes that he’d someday be able to get the Irken down there to study, and now, each ‘thunk’ of Zim’s head on the stairs filled him with excitement at finally being able to figure out what made the alien tick.

~*~

Irken Round 2ZZR
Location: Matternia, The Hatchling Planet
Nursery Block

The floor moved like a conveyor belt, bringing new smeets in and taking out those who were ready to move on to Devastis. A particularly small new arrival kept trying to jump onto the portion of the floor taking out the older smeets, but was repelled each time by a rather large Irken guard and his pointy-toed boots.

Another smeet crossed the room, towering over the would-be escapee by nearly a hafmark. “What are you doing?”

“I am trying to get out of here! I don’t need any of this coddling; I want to go out and begin training!” the smeet yelled, his voice squeaking in indignation.

The taller one shook his head, grabbing the other’s hand and dragging him across the room. “I just watched you come in last week; you’re not ready to get out of here. Didn’t you pay any attention to what the Control Brains told you on your way in?” The smaller stared blankly at the older, who sighed, running a hand down the side of his face. “Okay. Listen. We have to stay in here for one round, and then we’ll be sent to basic training. We aren’t strong enough to handle training yet, and we won’t be until we’ve gotten used to just...existing...y’know?” He frowned, letting go of the smaller Irken. “What’s your name, anyway? I’m Shtirk.”

The other smeet frowned, clearly irritated at the idea of being held in this one building for a full round. “I am Zim,” he growled, glaring back at the guard who kept him inside.
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Snuff Out a Thousand Suns