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The College Years: Cartman & Kyle	By : DragonSapphire Category: +S through Z > South Park > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 5071 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: We do not own South Park or its characters and make no profit from writing this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
The College Years: Cartman & Kyle
by KoiFishSushi and Jaden56

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South Park & Characters are property of Matt Stone & Trey Parker
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Chapter One

“Jesus christ, Kahl, clean up your shit in here! Stop being sucha fucking pig, you stupid Jew."

The ex-fatass (well... Cartman still retained a healthy amount of chub around his waist, love handles that seemed endless...) kicked the door in, pointing his glossed black riding crop at the redhead on the bed to the left of the room.

It wasn't a large space for two to live in – the dorm room barely functioned well enough considering the fact that they were mortal enemies. They managed to stay clear of each other, mostly, except for the occasional brushing of shoulders or rude conversation, but today Cartman was really pushing it. He didn't feel the need to get out of his outfit for the play his class was doing, he didn't feel like dressing down. So, he'd strutted back into the room in full Nazi military uniform for his part in the play of Anne Frank. Of course he didn't get the part of Hitler, but just having the uniform was good enough. No silly mustache for him.

Kyle didn't jump at the brash entrance of his roommate, or even look up from his homework, almost used to the barrage. Well... as much as one could possibly get used to such a torrent of racist, bigot bullshit on a daily basis. At least Cartman was consistent.

The Jew in question pushed a stray ginger curl away from his face from where it'd sprung free from his low ponytail, tucking it behind his ear where the arm of his thick-rimmed black glasses already sat, and attempted to ignore Cartman as best he could. He frowned, though, as his concentration on his music theory homework was efficiently shot. He knew he should have fucking studied in the library - that was the one place Cartman avoided like it was a quarantine for the plague.

Cartman glared at Kyle with those almost soulless brown eyes, slamming the door as he walked over to the small kitchen area, snagging himself a burrito from the freezer just to toss it onto a plate and throw it in the microwave.

"Jesus christ, Fatass! Watch it with the door - we already had to replace one you fucking kicked down with your dramatics last month."

Kyle didn't know what kind of cosmic power he pissed off to end up as roommates with the one person in South Park he would have gladly moved away from and never see again. But for some reason they'd both ended up at the same college for music, arts, and theater... and here he was with Fatass sharing the same cramped living space with Kyle and eating his burritos.

He could smell his former-dinner cooking now. “Fucker...”

“What? You got a problem with something, you stupid Jew?"

"Goddamnit, that was mine! I swear to god, Cartman, I hope you die and get food poisoning--What the fuck is that?" Kyle hissed, his mildly annoyed expression turning horrified, as he finally looked up and caught an eyeful of a crisp uniform with a very noticeable swastika displayed on Cartman's sleeve.

Cartman grinned almost wickedly, no it was wickedly. He pulled the burrito out of the microwave on the plate and walked (or rather... marched) into the bedroom area just to slump onto his bed, which was located directly across Kyle's own. The room was like a studio apartment more than anything.

“Costume for the play I'm in. Some diary of some stupid Jew... I forget. Doesn't matter, she dies anyway." Cartman grinned and took a bite out of the burrito. “Goddamn thing's cold in the middle... Fuck it.”

Cartman muttered to himself, munching happily on the stolen goods. “You're almost out of burritos, ginger kid,” he hissed out, doing a damn fine job of not getting anything on his crisp, clean uniform. Even his hair was brushed nicely, parted just right. He half-considered bleaching it to get that nice Aryan feel, and blue contacts too...

“Wonder what I'd look like with blonde hair and blue eyes..."

There was an audible crunching sound as Kyle's hands tightened on his forgotten book, his face going white, and then red as a furious heat crawled up his throat, throwing his light freckles in stark contrast.

"They're... letting you... How the fuck...GodDAMNIT!" Kyle threw the damaged book at the wall, not quite intending to hit Cartman, but close enough that its trajectory fluttered Cartman's neatly groomed hair. He stood up and paced over to the door, pausing, and then stalking back to stand right in front of Cartman, knocking the plate out of his hand.

“HEY!" Cartman was fine, until the plate was knocked aside. Thankfully he'd finished his burrito just in time, the emptied plate hitting the floor. He glared hatefully at Kyle standing there fuming at him. “What would have happened if I still had food still on there!? It would have gotten on my uniform and then I'd beat your stupid Jew ass into the ground, you fucking asshole!" he snarled, that riding crop gathered from beside his thigh, glaring up at Kyle. The leather crop raised only to stab at the redhead's chest.

"This is wrong and fucked up, Cartman. If they had any idea..." Kyle was pissed off, oh he was so pissed off. If the superintendant had any clue what kind of racist bastard Cartman was that he'd exploit Nazism in a play that would be performed in front of live audiences... Kyle wanted to tear off that symbol of his people's oppression that Cartman wore like a goddamn honor badge, and set that pristine, gratingly... flattering uniform on fire with Cartman still in it. "You're not getting away with this, Fatass! I swear to god, if you don't back out of that play..."

Kyle might be snapping at Cartman, but it was Cartman's time to snap back. He knew Kyle was pissed off but that worked for him, he liked pissing off the redhead. In fact, that might be the whole reason he did anything to Kyle - just to get a rise out of him.

“You'll do what? If I don't back out of the play that makes up half of my grade this semester, you'll do what? Cry to your stupid Jew god? You know he doesn't care, otherwise there would have been no holocaust. And that would have been a pity..."

"Shut the fuck up! I really hope your arteries clog one day, Cartman. That would really be a blessing."

Kyle's hands were balled into fists at his side, practically standing in-between Cartman's legs as he got up in his face, but he hesitated to actually hit the other. He could have - and had - kicked Cartman's ass when they were younger and the fatass would just go crying off to his mom, or 'Meeeeaaahm!!" But Cartman was fucking huge now, and Kyle hesitated. He wasn’t exactly fat anymore after fat/boot camp, but solidly built with more muscle on his wide frame, and he had one or two inches of height on Kyle. Kyle was fairly tall himself, but lean, and Cartman probably could break him in half if he really wanted.

Still, Kyle didn't back down, because Cartman was seriously wrong this time.

"God, Cartman! Why can't you just pick one of your usual parts, like a rock or mountain, or the village jackass?" Kyle seethed, hating, absolutely hating how well Cartman fit that uniform, with his stocky build and vicious personality. It was like having the ghosts of his forefathers raking nails up and down his spine.

"You don't know anything. Back out of the play, Cartman." Kyle's voice had gone quiet, his honey brown eyes flickering to the riding crop and hardening. "What... what will convince you?" Or rather, buy him. Cartman was a notoriously high-priced sell out, but Kyle was prepared to pay in money, or even in his own humiliation, as long as the fatass didn't go in front of hundreds of people spouting his Nazi propaganda in that fucking uniform.

“Oh? Trying to buy me off, Jew? You're too stingy to afford my prices. Go put it all in a high-yield savings bond, penny pincher,” Cartman hissed, tapping the riding crop against that flushed, freckled face, sliding it along Kyle’s clenched jaw until he met with curly red hair.

Kyle pinched his lips, already hearing the voice of his mother shrieking in his head about wasting money so readily. Cartman didn't need money - he came by it too easily from swindling people stupider than he was. Which, considering the backwater place they came from, stupid people were surprisingly plentiful. Kyle glared down at Cartman, not flinching when the other's whip was held so near to his face, but he felt a bead of sweat trickle down the back of his neck.

How far was he willing to go to make sure Cartman wouldn't continue with the play? It wasn't like he could give the other his kidney back, and he certainly wasn't interested in his PS3, since Cartman was a fanatic of Xbox. Cartman cleared that question up for him very quickly though.

Hmm... Cartman grinned something awful before replacing that riding crop with actual fingertips, snatching the other's hair in his hand. Kyle would either have to rip his hair out or just do what Cartman wanted, wouldn't he? The 'fatass' jerked Kyle’s head downwards, trying to force him onto his knees between those tan-clad legs. He looked good in the uniform and he knew it, and to get a Jew to submit before him while wearing it would be the ultimate satisfaction. He grinned wickedly.

“Suck my cock. Maybe I'll back out then. Maybe I'll want more. But it's the only thing that'll work for you, Jew." Cartman had the riding crop in his left hand now, which was pressed roughly to Kyle's cheek to guide him downwards. “Do it."

"Wh-What?! No way, dude!" Kyle gasped, horrified, and half-wanting to laugh about the fact Cartman was probably still holding that grudge about the real Kyle not sucking him from the Imaginationland mess. "C'mon, seriously, Cartman." Kyle braced his hand on Cartman's knee, but the other man was strong, and Kyle ended glaring up at Cartman from his knees. Kyle swallowed, trying not to look at the second stick that was practically nudging him in the face, too. "C-Christ..."

“I swear to god, Kahl, if you don't start sucking my cock, I'll beat your face in!" Briefly, the crop was sat aside just so Cartman could unbutton and unzip his pants after undoing the belt.

Kyle was livid. He could only imagine how much Cartman was getting off on a Jew, his arch nemesis - for the juvenile phrase - submitting to him... Only Kyle wasn't submitting, and Cartman wasn't pretending. His cheeks were flushed, making those embarrassing freckles pop, which would just be one more thing Cartman could ride him about, he knew.

It wasn't so much about the play to Cartman, he just wanted to get his rocks off. After tugging out six fat inches of meat that was clearly hard and awaiting attention, he snatched up the leather crop again and tapped it against Kyle's cheek.

“I'm not kidding, Jew. Get to work." His voice had taken a low tone at that last bit, a dark hint to the fact that he was damn serious. He wanted head. It'd been a while since he'd gotten head, or sex for that matter. Cartman wasn't a virgin, but he was just usually too busy to really get out and meet others, and no one in his play group or class was interesting enough to bang.

Kyle shifted both his hands to Cartman's thick thighs, preparing to push himself up, but faltered when Cartman opened his pants and displayed his cock for him to put in his mouth. Kyle's arms trembled and caused him to lose his grip, thumping back to his knees as he looked anywhere but at what was drawing his attention the most.

"Th-That it, Fatass? That's not enough to choke on," Kyle sneered, after having to swallow to unstick the sudden dryness in his throat.

“IT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR YOUR MOM, KAHL,” Cartman snapped back, tightening his fist around the riding crop.

"Five cocks wouldn't be enough for your mom's stretched out cunt, Cartman!" Kyle shouted back, a familiar scenario with the two that would sooner or later bring the dorm manager down pounding on their door for yet another noise violation. Kyle thought they would have gotten the idea he and Cartman were cats and dogs, or rather a detonation switch and C-4, and would have separated them by now.

Kyle was a goddamn Jew. It'd be Cartman’s own sort of retribution to fuck the hell out of that redheaded goddamn ginger kid. Cartman quickly grew impatient and slapped Kyle's cheek with the leather crop, brows dipped down. “Do it!"

Kyle opened his mouth for a more scathing retort when the whip suddenly took him across the cheek, nearly causing him to bite his tongue.

"What the FUCK!" Kyle reeled back, but Cartman's legs clamped down on either side of his shoulders, pinning him in. "I can't believe you fucking hit me with that!! I swear to god, Cartman, I'll kick your fucking ass!" Kyle was still more than a little stunned, though, a livid red mark streaking his cheek that had gone pale. "I'm not sucking your cock! Chose something... anything else," he muttered.

Cartman him once again with the crop. He couldn't help it, Kyle just talked too much. “I'll hit you again, you stupid Jew!" It was a belated threat, but Kyle was still refusing to suck his cock. Cartman snorted and tugged those red locks, yanking Kyle to his feet with a glare of deep brown eyes.

Kyle cried out as he was hit again, pissed beyond imagination as he thrashed in Cartman's grip. He reached out to punch the big bastard but the angle was all off, and he only managed a glancing blow that Cartman probably didn't even feel before his arms were being restrained.

“Fine then. You don't wanna suck my cock, turn around." Cartman wasn't giving the ginger kid much room to struggle. His hands were powerful and quick to grip and turn that scrawny body around, tugging Kyle quickly back into his lap just to grind his hard dick against that clothed backside. Poor Jew, only wearing pajama pants! The material was so thin, luckily for the Nazi-wannabe.

The redhead bucked in Cartman's lap as he tried to free himself, nearly shrieking like a fucking girl at the boner pressing up against his ass.

“Goddamnit, you sick fucker!” Kyle shuddered, trying not to throw up.

“Bet your ass is loose, Jew. Bet you're a whore, huh? That's why you're out every night."

Truth be known, Cartman was more often than not alone in their dorm room because Kyle couldn't stand being around Cartman. Kyle probably stayed in a friend's room at night, just to sleep somewhere where he wasn't in the same room as Eric. That was a bit sad to think about, but Cartman didn't even falter for a second, he was on a mission. To get submission from the Jew!

"I'm out every night because I can't stand your fucking ass, Cartman! Don't think I can't hear you beating that tiny dick of yours and calling my name when you think I'm asleep!" Kyle flushed red.

God, that had been a horrible thing to wake up to in the middle of the night, and he couldn't stand the thought of witnessing something as traumatizing as Cartman jerking off to him a second time. He'd gone to the dorm manager and the school superintendent for a room transfer, but the dorms were packed and freshmen weren't allowed single rooms. And Kyle sure as fuck wasn't moving back home.

“You liked it. You're just afraid of enjoying sucking my cock, you prick,” Cartman hissed out, leaning forward with his arm securely wrapped around Kyle's waist, lips meeting with the redhead's neck.

Kyle moaned when Cartman's lips touched his neck, moist and spongy, and struggled even harder to lean away, but to no avail. Moving around just ground him against Cartman even more in a vicious cycle. "Cartman, please... Don't do this," Kyle pleaded, changing tactics and wondering when the fuck that fatass bastard got so strong.

Thinking back on growing up with Cartman, Kyle should have expected something like this happening eventually when Cartman finally snapped. He constantly ridiculed Kyle to the point of obsession, like a twisted little kid with a crush. Cartman had been freakishly determined to have Kyle suck his balls when they were nine, to the point where he'd followed Kyle to another fucking dimension. Not to mention those messed up taco-flavored kisses Cartman had lathed him with through his 'possessed' hand, and the fact Fatass had given him fucking HIV.

The list went on and on... It was to the point where Kyle was even suspecting that Cartman had a hand with their room arrangements. He was a manipulative bastard, and what were the chances that they'd be roomed together if it was all left up to fate?

Kyle’s short ponytail aided in showing off plenty of pretty, pale skin that had faint freckles dappling it where wet lips stole slow, teasing kisses, so dirty in his methods. If Cartman got him flustered enough, maybe the Jew wouldn't be able to deny him. Cartman moved his free hand forward, between Kyle's thighs, and stroked over his flesh which was surely limp. He'd never seen the Jew naked - he had no clue what he looked like without clothes or anything, except that he had red pubic hair since Cartman had seen that once before while swimming. Years ago, though.

"If you w-wanted me why didn't you just say so, Fatass?" Kyle hissed, until he lost his breath when Cartman went right for his cock.

“C'mon you stupid Jew." Cartman had let the other’s insulting comments go, because truly he didn't want to beat Kyle's skull in at the moment. He grunted and groped more at the redhead's groin. “Get hard, dammit. You're going to get fucked either way," Cartman snarled the words out against those freckles. “Fucking ginger..."

"God..." Kyle dug his short nails into Cartman's thick forearms, writhing and making embarrassingly distressed sounds. The violence and violation were enraging him, while at the same time throwing into stark contrast how helpless he truly was. Not to mention that fucking uniform and whip, and now getting jerked off, were causing reactions in his body that he'd rather not analyze.

Kyle couldn't stop himself from growing firm in Cartman's fist which was very skilled in masturbation, since that was all the action he'd ever get. "Fuck! S-Stop...!!"

Hearing Kyle begging like that was good enough, right? Maybe. Cartman shuddered a little behind him, hardly willing to give in and tell the Jew that he wanted him, badly. That was an awful thought... that he actually wanted to be with Kyle. He groaned, however, and slowed his hand's movements.

“Fucking... hate you Kahl..." The brunette grunted those words out, biting down on the back of the other's neck, not too gentle in his affections at all. He shuddered as he bucked his hips upwards a little, panting a bit. “I hate you so much." Cartman shuddered as he slipped his hand into the other's pants, ignoring his pleas for him to stop, but he did get a bit less abusive in his attention.

Kyle actually sighed and listed against Cartman for a second, still squeezing his arm and feeling the muscles and tendons contract while Cartman stroked him. Cartman telling him he hated him was a relief. Kyle knew he'd fucking lose it if Cartman had given him a love confession instead. He wouldn't be able to handle that for sure.

"I bet... I hate you more," Kyle countered with an ironic laugh, breathless as his hips gave tiny jerking motions into Cartman's hand, and he cried out softly as the other bit him again, not love bites at all. "I-In fact, I'm fucking sure of it."

Cartman was slowly stroking the other's flesh, either unfazed by its size or simply thinking of other things at that moment. “I want you, okay? I want you on your hands and knees and I want you sucking my cock, dammit." That was as honest and sincere as Cartman would get. He couldn't bring himself to actually say that he wanted Kyle in bed with him at night instead of out staying in someone else's dorm. Fucking god. This was so fucked up. Maybe he’d had a crush on the Jew forever.

Kyle was quickly starting to hate how Cartman groping his cock felt, how fucking good that big, hot hand felt wrapped all the way around his thick cock like his own couldn't. The back of his head bumped against Cartman's shoulder as he weakened against him, considering for a moment headbutting the asshole, but that impulse fled as Cartman's repulsive/arousing touch started to become more tender, as if he were really trying to make Kyle feel good.

"Nnh... If you want it... then fucking work for it, Fatass." Kyle tilted his chin up and snapped his teeth down on Cartman's earlobe hard, but not hard enough to break skin because Cartman still had his hand wrapped around his cock, and Kyle didn't want the thing torn off. "I fucking hate you, Cartman. Go to hell." Kyle growled, ignoring the huskiness of his own voice and how his cock twitched in Cartman's fist despite trying to get the other riled up again.

It was fucked up, but Kyle could handle the idea of sex with Cartman better when it was rash and violent, rather than slow and tender which gave him room to think, and he really didn't want to have to think if this was what Cartman's price was.

"You fucking piece of shit... I bet you don't even know how to use that tiny prick of yours." Kyle deliberately ground his ass into Cartman's lap, half-hoping he'd bruise him enough that he wouldn't be able to get it back up.

Cartman slid his one hand away from Kyle's waist, fiddling around out of sight, though his fiddling would be made known soon enough. He shifted, grinding against Kyle's ass as the other pushed back against him, spewing such vulgar words, such horrible things, such lies.

“I know how to use it, stupid Jew,” he growled, tightening his grasp on the other's cock inside his pants, and then quickly moved to yank those pants down. The other hand that had been fiddling around was covered in lube, which he slicked over his own dick quickly.

Kyle could have ran for it when Cartman let him go... should have bolted for it, but the sick, masochistic side of him stayed. The side that had gotten turned on by Cartman in full out Nazi uniform and hitting him with a whip. He gasped when air hit his previously covered parts, glancing back to see the other’s hand wrapped around Cartman’s own smaller, average-sized cock, the head swollen and leaking over Cartman's thick fingers.

That hard, eager prick slammed into Kyle's body without warning while the Jew was momentarily diverted. It surprisingly easy to push in, though not for the size of Cartman’s dick. Perhaps Kyle masturbated and fingerfucked himself, or maybe Kyle had a boyfriend or fuck buddy... Heh. Either way, Cartman pushed inside Kyle’s hole with what he'd consider relative ease - to Kyle it probably hurt like hell. He shuddered and just sat there, his slickened hand sliding around to grasp the other's dick again and start stroking him with more ease. Yes, Cartman was an asshole.

Kyle had been distracted just enough that he didn't register what Cartman was doing behind him, not until he was jerked forward and suddenly impaled by the cock he'd been taunting Cartman about.

"FUCKING---A-AH!" Kyle's spine arched, throwing his head back and catching Cartman's chin hard with the back of his skull. It hurt, it fucking hurt, but in the same goddamn inexplicable way the swastika and riding crop had hurt him - painful and so fucking wrong, but managing to push buttons he wanted badly to deny were even there to push.

"DAMMIT KAHL!" Cartman snapped as his chin was cut by the other’s headbutt and started bleeding. He had to get out of his uniform quickly.

"Shut the fuck up, Fatass! That was my ear," Kyle muttered, turning his head away so Cartman's loud mouth wasn't right by his ear. "Do you want people to barge in for noise complaints again? Jesus christ." As if that wouldn't be a more awkward situation.

Kyle felt a grim thrill of satisfaction that he'd caused Cartman a little pain in return, but no one ever said screwing Jews over was easy or without consequence.

Cartman sat back, leaving Kyle impaled there as he quickly unbuttoned his jacket and tossed it aside. He groaned, leaving the black undershirt on that hugged him in all the right ways, surprisingly enough. Both arms slid around Kyle's waist and held him up as he stood. As he reached standing, forcing Kyle to his own feet, his pants fell down around his ankles and out of the way. His boots were kicked off as he sat back onto the bed, grinding up into that ginger’s body finally. Within moments, he had his pants kicked far out of the way with his boots, only left in socks, boxers that he was jutting out of to fuck Kyle, and his black t-shirt... it all fit nicely.

"Fuck...!" Kyle moaned low in his throat as Cartman's movements impaled him further on that admittedly average-sized dick, which was all Kyle needed to send his body reeling.

“Mngh... Don't get anything on my fucking uniform," Cartman hissed, tilting his head to draw a line of bites down Kyle's back after ridding the Jew of his shirt, nipping and tugging on bare flesh, just working up a series of painful little welts. “Mnhh... You feel good, Jew.”

By the time Cartman sat back down Kyle was grinding and riding himself in Cartman's lap, every thrust feeling so fucking intense that he was certain just one more would push him over the edge. But he stayed right on the edge of almost coming, but not quite. Kyle leaned forward, exposing more of his back to Cartman's bites, and fucking himself at a new angle.

"F-Fucking pussy... I could get more out of... nnh... fucking your mom's dildo," Kyle hissed, spreading his thighs over Cartman's, and squeezing his insides to contract mercilessly around Cartman's cock. He didn’t care how whorish he looked fucking himself on Cartman’s cock, but if they were doing this then he sure as hell wasn’t going to lay back and take it like a submissive Jew. Cartman abandoned his stroking of Kyle's dick and slid his hand around behind.

“Bet my mom's dildo doesn't feel like this,” he whispered as he slid a finger inside of that mercilessly tight ass, strumming Kyle’s insides alongside his own dick. “Keep fucking yourself on me, Jew,” Cartman said with a groan, bucking his hips upwards, drilling that body without care. He leaned back against the bed, just so he could watch Kyle bounce on top of him, that freckled back writhing in pleasure. “You look good on my dick, fuckin' Jew."

Cartman's dick didn't feel like a rubber toy. It was warm and slick, and Kyle could feel the other's heartbeat throbbing in his shaft. When Cartman added the finger Kyle cried out and writhed senselessly on top of him, panting like a harlot and pushing back against him, taking it all.

Cartman was really close. He knew it. He couldn't hold back any longer. He moved both his hands to Kyle's hips to aid him in riding up and down, ignoring any complaints Kyle might have about him not being big enough.

"Stop... fucking calling me Jew, Fatass," Kyle growled, the coloration from his forehead down to the middle of his chest nearly as red as his hair from his exertion and arousal. "I knew... you wanted it..." He shivered as Cartman's hands returned to his body, guiding and urging him to take his pleasure, which he did almost greedily.

“Fuckin' take this, Jew...” Cartman whispered as he closed one eye tightly, panting heavily as he came, sputtering thick, slick liquids inside that ginger body, whining a little ‘meeeeh,’ though breathlessly.

"K-Kahhhlll..." He groaned his name like a lover would, so rumbling and smooth, pleased for sure.

Kyle rode Cartman's cock with a few more shaking jerks before he started to come, feeling the other's spooge coat his insides, warm and thick and completely defiling him. "E-Eric!!" Kyle gasped, the name strange and clumsy on his tongue, but 'fatass' or 'Cartman' just didn't work when he was crying out for the other as he came, and heard his name in return, so full of satisfaction that it thrilled up and down Kyle's spine.

"God," Kyle gasped, his body folding by degrees as he slowly fell with his back pressed against Cartman's chest and thick belly, since the Nazi bastard was already laying down. "Lazy sonuvabitch. I can't believe... you call for your mom when you come. Dude..." Kyle shuddered, not even wanting to go there in his mind. He sighed and turned his head to nuzzle almost languidly behind Cartman's ear, the other's unexpectedly soft brown hair mussed and sweaty.

Cartman snatched a nipple in fingers, tweaking it hard.

“I didn't call for my mom. I was... just... whining... or something. Shut up,” he huffed. It wasn't meeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhm, it was just a meeeeh. Jeez. The Jew needed to get his facts straight. He sighed, though, at that awkward nuzzling, his eyes narrowing a little.

Kyle just snorted. "Right. Does your mom know the difference? Because I know she always comes when you call."

How fucking awkward would that be for the fatass? Kyle would almost pay money to see Cartman's mom walking in on him... as long as he wasn't with Cartman at the time. The redhead sighed quietly to himself as his lips grazed the soft skin just behind Cartman’s ear, seriously out of his fucking mind and not even realizing.

“Jesus christ. I didn't know you'd get all mushy and shit on me. Get up. I gotta put this uniform on a hanger so it doesn't wrinkle before I take it back,” Cartman muttered, irritated that he'd made a deal with the Jew. But he'd gotten sex out of it, so he didn't want to go back on his word... for once.

"You just came in my ass. Yeah I'm fucking mushy. I'm all wet and sticky too," Kyle bitched, hiding his blush, and how goddamn comfortable he was laying on Cartman like this. He was soft and firm in all the right places, and so fucking warm it felt like he was melting.

Cartman sighed and pushed Kyle off him, whether it be onto the floor or whatever, grabbing the black shirt he was wearing and ripping it up over his head just to rub at his own dick. He cleaned himself rather decently before getting up and tucking himself into his boxers, which were red, bold red.

"And don't call me Eric, stupid Jew,” he said halfheartedly, brows fixed together. Cartman was a bit upset that he wouldn't get to be an oppressive Nazi bastard, but whatever. He'd do directing instead, that suited him more. Besides, he'd threatened the original Nazi... who was now director, so they could just change places again, right? Sure.

"Don't call me Jew, fucking fag," Kyle shot back, for variety.

He would have hounded Cartman for making his apparent claim at straightness now irretrievable... except that he'd been moaning and fucking himself on Cartman's cock, so his own was also at a loss. He called it stalemate and let it go for the moment. Kyle had managed to keep himself from toppling off the bed at the shove, and was now sitting cross-legged on Cartman's covers, glaring at him beneath dark, almost girlishly long eyelashes.

"Um... maybe you should..." Kyle shifted awkwardly on the bed, running his hand through his loose curls as he looked away and blushed. "...keep it. Just for a little while... But you're not fucking doing that play as a Nazi," Kyle jabbed a finger at Cartman before the other thought he was going back on their deal after having paid for it. But goddamn... Kyle couldn’t deny Cartman looked damn good in that uniform, swastika and all. Not that Kyle would ever, ever admit to thinking that.

“I can't keep the outfit if I don't do the fucking play, Jew--- Oh I get it,” Cartman snickered as he finished hanging up the uniform. He returned to the bed and grasped that riding crop from the bed's surface, poking at Kyle's chest lightly as he leaned over him.

“You liked it, didn't you? You're a real self-hating Jew. Like getting punished by your superior?" Cartman grinned, almost darkly. “Maybe I should get you a brown potato sack or something equally drab to wear around here, or just get you naked and emaciated, make it authentic." He snorted and pulled back just to put the crop in the pocket of the pants hanging on the closet door.

Kyle's face heated like the Hayman Fire, out of control and just as devastating, but he didn't deny it. He just glared up at Cartman with his honey eyes that were almost gold in the lighting.

"If you keep stealing my burritos I will become fucking emaciated, dumbass." It wasn't as if Cartman's mom didn't send him a box full of food and junk and whatever else he wanted every week, while Kyle had to fend for himself since his parents were already harping about having to pay half his tuition.

Cartman wanted to go shower but he didn't feel like leaving the room just yet, so instead he returned to the bed and flopped down on his side next to Kyle. Kyle was nearly bounced off the bed as Cartman dropped down next to him, the mattress frame groaning in protest.

“Stupid Jew, Kyle." Hah, he called him Kyle. Cartman rolled onto his stomach, grasping pillow in his arms just to hug to it lightly, burying face against the soft material. “Dude, I hate you."

"God, I hate you so fucking much," Kyle muttered, watching Cartman snuggle that pillow like his damn Clyde Frog, before snatching the pillow and throwing it across the room to his own bed. Before Cartman could bitch him out, Kyle rolled over against him and resettled Cartman's arm around his own waist, laying his red cheek against the other's chest. "Sh-Shut the fuck up, douche."

Cartman was taken aback. Wait, what? He laid there, eyes wide as Kyle replaced his pillow. Just as he was about to open his mouth and tell him something or another, he was told to shut the fuck up. Jesus christ, the Jew had balls. He sighed lightly instead, and tilted his head to the side a bit, settling his gaze upon the ceiling for the moment at his Justin Timberlake poster.

Kyle was tense in Cartman's arms as they both adjusted to the change, but when Cartman actually heeded him for once Kyle just sunk against him bonelessly, surrounded by all that warmth and strength. He was almost drunk off it, despite hating the source.

“Jew," Cartman chirped up, when the silence became too comfortable for his own comfort, stroking over the other's hip since his hand was already settled against it, his arm wrapped around Kyle’s waist like that anyway. “The hell are you doing over here? Cuddling or some shit? You're one of those fucks that needs to be held afterwards, huh?"

"Fuck you," Kyle sighed when Cartman ruined the silence anyway, but by then he was relaxed, and the slur - how Cartman made 'Jew' sound at any cost - was almost affectionate. Kyle didn't deny his want for cuddling, especially with his ass sore and tender, and his emotions just as raw. He rubbed his body lightly against Cartman's and dug his chin into the other's chest for a moment, before nestling his cheek against him again. He was almost getting resettled, but of course Fatass had to ruin that too.

“Usually I start out kissing someone before my dick's buried in them.” Cartman paused and then grunted. “Guess we skipped out on that first kiss shit."

Kyle's heart gave a hard, nasty thump at Cartman's topic of kisses, feeling heat flood his cheeks and belly as he pressed his face against Cartman's broad chest, shaking his head stiffly.

"You usually don't shove your dick into someone without warning either, asshole," Kyle mumbled, but reluctantly pulled back enough that he could look up into those chocolate brown eyes, his heart beating hard and stuttering nervously in his chest. God, even Cartman's eyes had food-like qualities. That fatass...

Kyle figured that was the closest Cartman would get to actually asking, and while he'd get his kicks out of making the bastard squirm, he was too languid and comfortable to want to get hit and thrown on the floor.

"You're such an r-tard..." Kyle took a breath and tilted his head up to brush his lips against Cartman's, letting out a startled breath at the shock just that fleeting contact gave him. He pressed their lips together more firmly after that initial touch, kissing him fully since he was fucked anyway.

Why... was Cartman laying there in bed with the Jew? The enemy? Why was he suddenly kissing him? He didn't have the thought to question those things out loud, so he just groaned into the other’s mouth and slid hands up into that mess of red hair, tugging Kyle further into the kiss.

Kyle made a soft sound in the back of his throat, responsive and arching up gently into Cartman's touch. His bigger hands felt good tangled in his hair, although he was starting to get a headache from all of the vicious hair-pulling earlier. Cartman’s apparent interest in his hair made him want to either shave it all off, or grow it out longer.

“Mngh... Stupid Jew...” Cartman muttered against his lips with a quiet whimper, eyebrows fixed together. Slowly he pulled back completely and just looked down at those honeyed eyes, cheeks reddened, just... barely.

Kyle's glazed eyes were on Cartman's lips when they parted, licking his own, and then abruptly laughed at the flavor the fatass had left behind. "Fucking taco-flavored kisses," he grinned, nudging his forehead against Cartman's shoulder at how insanely warped their situation had just become. "Or actually burrito-flavored kisses. God."

"...So you're sleeping in my bed tonight, right?" Cartman assumed, reaching his hand down to smack the other's ass lightly, what? He grinned and laid back onto his back there, stretched out like he belonged there, underneath the Jew who looked rather girly when he was all disheveled and whatnot.

Kyle gave a muffled 'mmph' when Cartman smacked him, sliding his bare leg over Cartman's thighs in an effort to get away from his abusive hand, and closer to his warm, comfortable body.

"Yeah I'm sleeping here, douche. Although I'm not sure if your bed can handle the extra weight. You're big enough as it is." Kyle stroked his hand over Cartman's chest slowly, along his side to squeeze lightly at his love handles, and back up the soft curve of his paunch, which had a surprisingly solid set of muscles behind it when he pressed down. "Mmh..."

“Stop that, fucking Jew,” Cartman grumbled, smacking Kyle’s hands away with a faint reddening of his cheeks. He was self-conscious enough without someone grabbing all over him. And it was just weird.

Kyle sighed, letting his hand come to a standstill, before just draping his arm over Cartman’s waist, not grabbing... and not quite holding either, since Kyle knew he wouldn’t be able to get both arms around the brunette without some straining. Kyle was surprised how heavily, but pleasantly sedated his body felt just resting against Cartman like this.

The top of his head brushed against Cartman’s jaw line as his head sunk against his shoulder, pressing his hips forward to tuck against Cartman’s ample hip, and that was the last thing Kyle could recall before dropping hard into sleep, the echo of Cartman’s quiet breaths gently stirring his hair.

-TBC
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The College Years: Cartman & Kyle