Little Brothers | By : nightfire69 Category: +G through L > G.I. Joe Views: 1311 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own G.I. Joe, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
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Main Character(s): Zandar, Tomax, Xamot and Zartan
Notes: At first it I thought it needed more of a middle but then it looks better just the way it is. I would also like to thank Chris aka the Blue Ninja for bata reading this story for me.
Little Brothers
It was three months in the making. Both of them knew that they would get in huge trouble for this. Their eminent deaths were guaranteed, metaphorically that is. Then again, maybe literally, but what they have planned to do to Zartan and Tomax would be worth it.
It all started at the New Years party for the Cobra elite. Out on the balcony was Zandar who was watching the party from the sidelines and nursing on a class of beer. Walking up to him was Xamot, holding a martini and had a look of utter annoyance on his face and not realizing that he wasn't alone. "What's wrong?" questioned Zandar.
Xamot tried to cover his surprise, struggling for something to say, but Zandar met his eyes with a knowing glare. There was no pretending to know Zandar was there. It just didn’t happen. Everybody missed Zandar.
"Oh. I didn't know that anyone was out here,” Xamot said with a resignation in his voice. “If you want to be left alone.”
"It's not necessary." Zandar interrupted, "It doesn't bother me."
Both of them looked inside at the party. All was silent on the balcony until Xamot broke the ice. "Of all the damn blasted things he could of have done!" he mumbled to himself as he took a sip at his martini.
"He who?" asked Zandar, who noticed Xamot starting to fume.
Xamot then let out a big sigh in frustration. "Tomax, that's who."
"Ah, I see." Said Zandar while nodding his head in empathy, "So what did he do?"
"You see that cute, busty blond with Tomax and the lovely redhead. Well that blond was supposed to be with me, but that jackass brother of mine stole my date!"
Xamot took another sip of his martini, "I don't know why, but every fucking time I go and meet a new woman, Tomax somehow always seems to butt in and take her from me! Not only that, but I constantly here from others that women find men with facial scars attractive and sexy. Bullshit!"
Taking another swig of his beer, Zandar empathetically replied, "I know how you must feel; Zartan does the same thing to me also. He as no problem getting any woman that he wants, while I on the other hand almost have to practically try to do something suicidal in order to get women to pay any attention to me. Hell, Gnawgahyde gets more dates than I do and he hardly ever washes himself!"
Xamot nearly choked on his martini. "You're joking!?"
"Nope, and here's the part I don't understand, when I'm not purposely trying to hide myself from others, how can anyone not see me with this red head of mine!" snapped Zandar as he pointed to he's locks of violent red hair before taking a sip of his beer.
Then all was silent on the balcony again for at least ten or so minutes till Zandar spoke up. "If I wasn't strait, I would go after you in a heartbeat, because you're not a bad looking guy."
At first, Xamot was taken aback at the remark, but then shrugged it off, taking it as a compliment. After another sip of his martini, Xamot replied, "You're not bad looking yourself, kid. You should know that I have a thing for redheads. Women, that is."
Zandar snickered at the comment. "Thanks."
"I was thinking" started Xamot.
"Sorry, I'm straight."
"No," said Xamot who was shaking his head and trying not to burst out into laughter. "Not that. I was thinking of a way of getting even with our brothers. Nothing malicious or fatal, mind you. Just something to chip at their egos a bit."
A devious grin came to Zandar’s face, "And I know the perfect day to do it."
"When?" asked Xamot, catching the infectious grin.
"April first."
Xamot really started to like the idea now said, "That would give us at least three months to prepare for it and no one would even have to know about it."
Holding his hand out, Zandar said, "Partners?"
Quickly grabbing Zandar's hand, Xamot firmly replied, "Partners."
Inside the two younger brothers could hear everybody shouting Happy New Year!
In a much more quiet ritual, the co-conspirators toasted each other on their New Year’s resolution. So, it had begun. Three months until for their revenge did not seem too long away after a lifetime of playing second fiddle to their older brothers.
It took three long months, but they both hoped that it was all worth it. From their hidden lair in the Terrordrome, Xamot and Zandar could see everything that was happening on Cobra Island.
Video monitors showed Tomax with the Baroness and Destro inspecting a troop of young female Crimson Guard cadets reporting for their first annual inspection.
Zartan and Zarana supervised the Dreadnoks and a squad of Cobra Vipers, unloading a shipment of grape soda and chocolate doughnuts into the mess hall’s pantry.
All was ready for Operation: Tushie to begin.
Zandar looked at Xamot, while Xamot looked back at Zandar.
"On the count of three," said Xamot.
"Okay then," said Zandar, "One."
"Two," replied Xamot.
"Three," The boys in unison as they activated the remote control units to the holoprojectors in their brothers' uniforms.
On the monitors, Xamot and Zandar saw their brothers’ uniforms fade away till there was nothing to see but naked flesh.
At the vault, Zartan was shouting orders when he heard Zarana screaming.
"I'm blind! I'm blind!” she shouted, covering her face with one hand and flailing with the other.
"Zarana. Are you okay?" asked Zartan with a look of pure confusion on his face.
The Dreadnoks, hearing Zarana's screaming, turned to see what all the commotion was about; saw something completely unexpected. Zartan's bare ass in full view in front of them.
"Bloody `ell, Zartan! What in the world are ya doin'!" Snapped Torch.
"It an't right what ya doin', said Ripper, "it's down right indecent it is!"
"What in the world are you louts yelling at me for?" fumed Zartan, turning around as he was being lectured by the Dreadnoks.
“Blimmy! Don’t turn around,” shouted Buzzer, quickly covering his eyes. “We don’t need to. Arrgh!”
Thrasher whispered to Monkeywrench, "Gor, Zartan is bigger than me!"
All Monkeywrench could do was laugh in hysterics, along with the rest of the Vipers.
Meanwhile, Tomax was addressing the Crimson Guard platoon, while Destro had stepped away to take a call on a satellite phone. Suddenly, a woman in the front rank fainted, and then a few others started to giggle like high school girls. The remaining were eyeing him in a way he found very uncomfortable.
"Nice package you got there, Tomax," said the Baroness, barely controlling the urge to explode in a huge fit of laughter. “But, I don’t think that is what Destro meant when he asked you debrief the guardsmen.”
"My dear Baroness, what are you talking about?" asked Destro, turning back toward the squad Baroness directed Destro's attention to the naked Tomax, "That package, Destro, darling."
Looking toward at the very confused and very naked Tomax, Destro slapped his hand on his head with an audible clang and said, "Dear lord!"
Back at the vault, Zartan was even more confused by the actions of his Dreadnoks.
That's when Buzzer started to walk slowly up to Zartan. "Ah, Zartan?" asked Buzzer cautiously.
Zartan growled at the man.
Buzzer sighed heavily and just came out with it. "You're naked."
“What are you talking about?” Zartan said, feeling his breastplate, cowl and other sundries still in place.
Everyone in the vault quickly yelled back at Zartan. "You're Naked!”
Zartan finally looked down at himself to see nothing but the dangly bits he sees every morning waiting to greet him.
Zartan raised an eyebrow, as he tried to turn off his holoprojectors only to find something was overriding the controls.
“How could this could have had happened?” he mumbled to himself, the mystery drowning out the laughter and jokes of his men.
He was the only one who worked on his suit except for the last time when…
"ZACKERY!" he shouted as he ran down the corridor.
At the same time, back at the inspection.
"Okay," sighed Tomax, "May I ask why is everyone gone completely off their rocker and looking like something's wrong with me?"
Both Destro and Tomax turned to the Baroness, who finally failed to control herself and broke out into a long wailing laughter.
Annoyed, Destro snapped at her. "My dear, would you please stop it. You're not helping!"
"Go head Destro,” Baroness said between giggles, trying but still failing to stop laughing. “You can say it.” That was the last straw, and she nearly fell, leaning against Destro as silliness of the situation consumed her. Her laughter then spread to the Crimson Guard platoon, and now several were trying to stay at attention despite the giggles and guffaws.
“What's wrong with me?" asked a very confused Tomax.
"You see Tomax,” Destro tried sound serious over the Baroness’ laughter, although a small chuckled did escape, “You're naked."
"Say what again?" asked Tomax.
Then the entire platoon shouted in unison, "Sir, You're Naked, Sir!"
Looking down at himself, he was shocked to see it was true. Trying to cover himself, he could feel his clothes under his hands confirming what his eyes denied.
"How in the hell, unless."
Recalling Xamot's little pet holotechnology project that had been keeping his younger brother occupied for the last couple of months. The twin ran out of the hall.
"MAXWELL!"
Back at their hiding place, rolling in fits of laughter that had claimed Xamot and Zandar. Their prank could not have turned out better if Cobra Commander had been in the room.
"Oh, oh! Hehehe!" laughed Zandar uncontrollably, rolling against the wall.
"Your sister screaming `I'm blind! I'm blind!' that was fucking rich!" chuckled Xamot.
"And the Baroness saying `Nice package', I didn't see that coming!" said Zandar.
The laughter of the two younger brothers was cut short when they heard their real names by Zartan and Tomax over the intercom.
"Oh shit, their already on to us!" said Zandar who was looking at Xamot like a scared little kid.
"Well, we knew that it couldn't last forever." said Xamot, shrugging his shoulders in defeat.
Zartan finally gave up trying to fix or override the device and ripped off his holoprojector as he turned the corner, nearly colliding with a naked Tomax.
“I see that Zandar had an accomplice in his little game.” Zartan said.
Tomax, still trying to maintain some modesty, blushed, but more from anger than embarrassment. “So, did you help too, you limey bastard?” Tomax said. “I know my brother couldn’t do this on his own.”
“Mmm. Looks like the CEO hasn’t got any clothes.” Zartan responded, and then reached toward Tomax’s exposed crotch.
The naked twin flinched, but it was not an attack. Zartan ripped off the man’s belt, disabling the holoprojector.
Tomax’s clothes became visible. “I am going to kill that bastard brother of mine,” he said as he started down the hall. “And I will strangle that forgotten brother of yours, too!”
Zartan grabbed him by the shoulder. “Wait,” Zartan insisted, and then explained his plan to Tomax.
Zandar and Xamot went into hiding for three days, managing to avoid their brothers and other Cobra bigwigs. Zandar wanted to hide in the islands unexplored wasteland for a while, but Xamot didn’t like the idea of roughing it. They were considering fleeing the island to vacation in Monte Carlo when they finally happened across Zartan and Tomax.
“Zandar,” Zartan shouted, and slapped his brother on the back.
“Where have you been? Cobra Commander wants us to take the Dreadnoks up to Miami and get us a cut on the underground racing scene. I guess he has been watching Fast and Furious movies. But, anyway, Thrasher and Monkeywrench has got a new ride.”
Tomax immediately handed Xamot a file stuffed full of receipts and invoices. “We have to get in on this latest Microsoft deal. It is such a huge scam. It would be an embarrassment to Cobra if we weren’t an investor. I need you to come up with some forged prospectus and a new dummy corp while…”
Xamot looked to Zandar and their eyes met as their brother’s took them in different directions.
As Tomax continued to explain the details of the latest plan, Xamot became jumpier and more nervous.
Finally, Xamot broke down and started to ask, “But, what about…”
“The holoprojector prank?” Zartan said in response to Zandar’s nervous apology. “Oh, what? Did you think we would let a little joke interfere with business.?”
Tomax slapped his brother on the back, “You got me pretty good, Xamot. And that was some good work…”
“..with the holoprojectors,” Zartan said, as he continued to walk his brother toward the Dreadnok’s garage. “What’s a few practical jokes…”
“…between siblings.” Tomax assured his twin.
“After all,” Tomax and Zartan said in their prepared speech, “Now it’s our turn.”
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