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The Lima Bean Revue	By : radatrix Category: +S through Z > Xiaolin Showdown Views: 2816 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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"Jack Spicer!" Chase Young bellowed. "I know you're in here. Stop hiding."

"Go away!" screamed a small voice from inside a box labeled 'Dried Lima Beans.'

"Spicer, I insist that you quit this temper tantrum immediately.”

"But you told me I looked fat!" Jack screamed in reply, his voice gaining some of its old energy back.

"That's not what I said, and you know it. Can we talk about this in the throne room? It's musty in here."

Jack climbed out of the empty box he had been hiding in. A stray lima bean stuck to his right temple. He brushed it off with a delicate flick of his wrist. "Your whole lair is musty, Chase."

"Well, the pantry is especially musty," Chase agreed. "Look, I'm sorry I said that you looked bulkier than usual in that pashmina shawl."

"I thought it looked good."

"Yeah, if you're the Fortune Queen of New Orleans," Chase shot back.

"There you go again, making fun of me!" Jack stepped out of the box and ran toward the door. Chase stepped in front of him.

"Where do you think you're going, Spicer?"

"Um, I'm going to go take a bath in your enormous bathtub."

"Oh, really? Room for one more?" Chase asked greedily.

"Absolutely not. I'm pissed at you." Jack crossed his arms huffily and stomped off to the boudoir.

Chase went to tend to his jungle cats, which were a constant source of comfort and conversation for him, even though they couldn't talk back. Chase was beginning to regret his decision to let Jack live with him in his lair. It had been a difficult decision. At the time he had justified it with some sort of evil plot, but like most of his evil plots, it had been thwarted by those awful Xiaolin monks. Jack still lived here, though, and every day Chase's patience was wearing thinner and thinner.

It all began one cold January morning. Chase was in Jack's basement seeing if Jack had taken his Ching Ling Snowshovel. While Chase was busy snooping, Jack ran into his basement wailing miserably, tears flowing from his eyes, smearing his eye makeup slightly. Usually this sort of emotional display disgusted Chase, but this time something was different. He felt an urge to take care of the poor boy. Deep down beneath all of the evil, there still lurked the man he had once been. Usually he tried to suppress these feelings, but combined with the animal lust he usually felt when he was around Jack Spicer he just couldn't help himself. Chase revealed himself to a surprised Jack, who quickly denied he was even upset.

One thing led to another. Their affair lasted several months before Jack's parents found out. They kicked him out of their house and that's how he ended up living with Chase: In another moment of apparent weakness, Chase agreed to house Jack until he got back on his feet. It had been two months so far, and Chase was tiring of this permanent houseguest.

Chase rubbed the top of Mr. Jingles’ head with his palm. The gigantic cat began to purr. "Oh, if only Spicer were as easy to please." Chase said softly. Mr. Jingles began to growl. "Oh, why do I even care if he's happy? The old Chase Young wouldn't give a damn. I'm growing soft. This is why those Xiaolin monks are always able to beat me." Mr. Jingles started to purr again. Chase got off and stomped towards the boudoir, where he found Jack languidly lounging in the giant slate tub.

"Hi, Chase," Jack said sarcastically.

"Jack, I want you out."

"Well, I'm not leaving. It's your fault I'm not living in my parents' basement anymore, so therefore, you have to house me."

"No, Jack. That's not how it works. In a moment of weakness I agreed to your temporary stay here, but that moment is over. I tire of you and your incredibly perky bottom."

"Nobody could ever tire of that!" Jack said getting out of the tub. He wasn't wearing any clothing. "Where am I supposed to go?" he asked.

"It's really not my problem, Spicer," Chase sneered. "Now get off — I mean, out — before I sic my Jungle Cats on you."

Jack dried himself off slowly, purposely taunting Chase with his beautiful, smooth body. He put on his clothes, layer by layer, taking his time to buckle every buckle, and there were lots of buckles.

"Jack!" Chase screamed, his eyes flicking green like the sun just before it sets. Jack grabbed his heli-pack and slowly walked out of Chase's lair. In truth, it was difficult for Chase to say good-bye to Jack's incredibly perky bottom. But that did not mean he wasn't glad to rid himself of the rest of Jack Spicer. Nevertheless, he knew that this wasn't good-bye forever — just a temporary pause in his and Jack's endless adventures.
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