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Prince Zuko: An Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual	By : whirleeq Category: Avatar - The Last Airbender > General Views: 7951 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Prince Zuko: Owner's Guide An Maintenance Manual
- 1
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender belongs to Nickelodeon; not me, although I wouldn’t mind borrowing Zuko for a while… and maybe Aang too, after about ten years ;).
Notes: Credit goes to Theresa Green from The Lord of The Rings fandom. She initiated the fabulous owner’s guides. I still have my MK II Legolas tied up somewhere in my basement.
PRINCE ZUKO: An Owner’s Guide and Maintenance Manual
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have just acquired your very own PRINCE ZUKO! In order to ensure that you are fully aware of all his many features and abilities (and not just the NOCTORNAL ACTIVITIES subroutine), please read this manual carefully.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: Prince Zuko (Alias ‘The Banished Prince’ Will respond positively to nicknames such as “Firebaby” and “OH GOD” in intimate / heated moments)
Type: Firebender (Dead sexy variety)
Manufacturer: Ozai Inc., a subsidiary of (but not to be confused with) ATLA, inc.
Height: 5ft 8 inches
Weight: 140 lbs.
Length of Weapon: Varies; can be known to get exceptionally hot and long.
Level of Skill: Powerful, fiery thrusts that always hit the spot.
ACCESSORIES
The accessories your PRINCE ZUKO comes with are standard. SEASON II accessories can be purchased in a separate transaction once they become available in January, 2006. A CANON UPGRADE chip will be also be offered free of charge at the same time.
This PRINCE ZUKO unit comes with:
i) Fire Nation Uniform™ (Removable and Machine Washable)
The Fire Nation Uniform™ accessory pack consists of:
a)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One grey shirt
b)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One grey pair of pants
c)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One cotton fundoshi
ii) Fire Nation Armor™ (Removable. Hand wash only. Ask your PRINCE ZUKO to assist you with this. Preferably naked – in the shower – with the NOCTORNAL ACTIVITIES subroutine engaged.)
The Fire Nation Armor™ accessory pack consists of:
a)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One pair of orange gauntlets
b)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One pair of black boots
c)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One belt (can also be used with the NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES subroutine; please see OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS below)
d)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One set of Samurai armor made of forged metals and dyed leathers.
e)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      One WATER TRIBE NECKLACE. (Note: This accessory may or may not be available with the SEASON II Upgrade.)
f)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>        One FIRE PROOF SKINSUIT for you (Note: This accessory may also be used with the NOCTORNAL ACTIVITIES subroutine.)
Note: The PRINCE ZUKO model does have a burn scar on the left side of his face. It is a mark of his dishonor, and a constant reminder of his need to capture the AVATAR. It is not due to packaging, nor is it a bad rash. In fact, any attempts to take your PRINCE ZUKO to your local dermatologist may result in the poor doctor’s medical practice going up in flames. Literally. Besides, think of the positives. The burn scar provides your PRINCE ZUKO with character, and gives him that dashing bad boy look. Your neighbor, who is growing bored of her HARU unit, will be quite jealous.
As for those of you who assumed that the UNCLE IROH unit comes with the PRINCE ZUKO unit, we specified very clearly that this is a separate unit that has to be purchased on its own.
INSTALLATION
Considering the kind of character the PRINCE ZUKO unit is known to possess, all owners are instructed to exhibit self-control. Take a cold shower, several if you must, or sedate yourself. At no point should you scream, squeal, profess your undying affection, or violently tear open the box. This will only cause your PRINCE ZUKO unit to either recoil in terror or attack; since the PRINCE ZUKO unit is equipped with an ANTI MARY-SUE filter, and will mistakenly process your behavior as such.
Owners should put on the enclosed FIRE-PROOF SKINSUIT before approaching the box your PRINCE ZUKO unit was shipped in. Owners who choose not to wear it may want to ensure that all their affairs are in order before proceeding. We do not take responsibility if your PRINCE ZUKO unit burns you to a crisp. Once you are ready, approach the box carefully and gently pry it open. If your PRINCE ZUKO is reluctant to leave the box, entice him out by telling him that you have an AVATAR AANG unit hiding in your kitchen. He might be disappointed when he’s unable to locate the AVATAR AANG unit, but look at it this way: you get to comfort him!
If at any point during installation your PRINCE ZUKO unit starts insulting you, simply remind your PRINCE ZUKO unit that it is DISHONORABLE to treat his new LORD / LADY with such disrespect. This will activate his CODE OF HONOR subroutine, and make your PRINCE ZUKO much easier to handle.
CLEANING
Your PRINCE ZUKO unit has spent several days in a dusty crate during the shipping process. Being of a noble class, he will not feel properly comfortable until after he has been thoroughly cleaned. Since he is not a WATERBENDER model, you should offer to assist him with this task. Depending on use, you might find it necessary to clean parts of your PRINCE ZUKO unit on a daily basis. For more stubborn stains (i.e. chocolate syrup, whipped cream or jello), hand apply a body wash.
Note: Keep in mind that your PRINCE ZUKO is a FIREBENDER model. If you wish to keep the family home from becoming a pile of ash, keep him out of reach of flammable household products: (i.e. baby oils, massage oils, and oil based lubricants).
LUBRICATION
To ensure that your PRINCE ZUKO remains in good working order, moving parts should be lubricated regularly. Note: Use a WATER BASED LUBRICANT only (see above note on cleaning).
Note: A detailed analysis of the correct lubrication of your PRINCE ZUKO is beyond the scope of this manual. For more information, please refer to href="http://www.livejournal.com/community/avatar_slash/">http: / / www.livejournal.com / community / avatar_slash /
SECURITY
Due to the popularity of the PRINCE ZUKO unit, it essential that you observe the following security procedures for safekeeping.
- Have your PRINCE ZUKO micro-chipped. The number for your closest service engineer who is experienced in the handling of FIREBENDER models is enclosed in the packaging.
- Do not leave your PRINCE ZUKO unattended in public.
- Do not lend your PRINCE ZUKO to anyone (e.g. best friend, sister, mother, grandmother, etc).
- Do not leave your PRINCE ZUKO on the passenger seat of the car in full view of passers by.
- Do not allow your children to take your PRINCE ZUKO to school for ‘show and tell’.
CAUTION: Your PRINCE ZUKO may tell you that the best way to keep from getting lost is to tie his wrists to the bedposts with silk scarves. Remember that he is a FIREBENDER model and DO NOT BELIEVE HIM! Follow his suggestion, by all means, but do not think for one minute that it has anything to do with security.
OPERATING PROCEDURES
Owners of the PRINCE ZUKO unit invariably agree that this unit is very well equipped and talented. For those of you who have utilized your PRINCE ZUKO unit’s many inherent talents in your dormitories, offices, kitchens, living rooms, hot tubs, swimming pools, and elevators, keep in mind that there are many other presets available besides the unofficial and unorthodox NOCTORNAL ACTIVITIES subroutine.
1. PERSONAL CIGARETTE LIGHTER
We at Ozai, INC. neither encourage nor condone smoking. However, for those of you that can’t seem to kick the habit, think of the amount of time you normally spend rifling through your purse / pockets / drawers searching for the lighter that your best friend nicked from you last week. Your PRINCE ZUKO unit will make your ZIPPO obsolete. Under NO circumstances should your PRINCE ZUKO unit be loaned out to your best friend the next time they come to you, seeking a light (see ‘SECURITY’ section above).
Disclaimer: We at Ozai, Inc. take no responsibility for singed eyelashes / eyebrows / hair for those users who utilize this function.
2. PERSONAL BODY GUARD
Your PRINCE ZUKO unit is nothing if not loyal. Show him respect, and he will protect you with his life. Physically, he is at the top of his game (see INSTRUCTOR subroutine below.) Therefore, you may relax and leave yourself in his more than capable hands.
(Disclaimer: Ozai, INC. takes no legal responsibility should your obsessive ex suddenly burst into flames when in the presence of your PRINCE ZUKO unit engaged in PERSONAL BODY GUARD mode.)
3. INSTRUCTOR:
Learn from an entire range of skills (no, we do not mean THOSE skills) that your PRINCE ZUKO unit has acquired.
Not only is your PRINCE ZUKO unit an accomplished FIREBENDER model, Your PRINCE ZUKO comes with the knowledge of several styles of martial arts; including movements from such styles as Preying Mantis, Northern Shaolim, Southern Shaolim, Hsing Yi, Bagua, Tai Chi and Southern Mantis. Have him demonstrate each of these for you; preferably after removing the included Fire Nation Uniform™ and Fire Nation Armor™ accessory packs.
WARNING: Owners should be aware that their PRINCE ZUKO unit can be extremely possessive about what he considers his property, namely you. This is especially so if owners have triggered the NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES subroutine. While our company will not be responsible for any incinerated husbands / wives / partners, we have kindly suggested some answers to this potentially messy quandary.
All owners should:
A. Make sure that they have a separate home for their PRINCE ZUKO unit. This will avoid any jealous confrontations in which your spouse / partner will come out the worse for wear. If they are still breathing, that is.
B. Under no circumstances allow your PRINCE ZUKO unit to discover that you are having an affair with another unit. Your PRINCE ZUKO unit is extremely possessive, and once he learns of the affair, there is nothing you can do. For the sake of health, happiness and public safety, please choose option A if you are indeed, shagging someone behind his back. Whole neighborhoods have been reduced to ash by PRINCE ZUKO units thrashing it out with ADMIRAL ZHAO units, AANG units in AVATAR mode (Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson!), HARU units and even the odd JET unit. Again, our company will not be responsible for damage costs to either said units or for any incinerated property.
COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS
Your PRINCE ZUKO unit is only fully compatible with the UNCLE IROH unit. Introduce other units at your own risk. For your reference, we have compiled a compatibility list for you.
AANG
Extreme caution is advised should you desire to let the AANG unit interact with your PRINCE ZUKO unit. Unless you’re planning to move and don’t mind having your neighborhood leveled to the ground, ensure that the AANG unit is not in AVATAR mode.
Should such an unfortunate event occur, quickly get hold of a KATARA unit and an UNCLE IROH unit. It is very important that you get BOTH of them. The AANG unit in AVATAR mode will only respond to verbal commands from a KATARA unit. Also, she’s a WATERBENDER model, so it might be useful to have her around to help treat any burns / put out any fires caused by the aforementioned mayhem. The UNCLE IROH unit will patiently speak in proverbs, which will confuse, irritate and distract your PRINCE ZUKO unit long enough for you to remove him from the scene.
There are three settings of interaction for your AANG and PRINCE ZUKO units:
HOSTILE: This is the default, and will usually result in your PRINCE ZUKO unit chasing your AANG unit all around your house, in an attempt to capture him and bring him to the nearest LORD OZAI unit. Unless you want to remodel, we suggest you take one of the following actions:
a)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      Return your PRINCE ZUKO unit to us in the original crate he was shipped in. (To save on shipping, do not bother to send him with his clothing).
b)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      Give your AANG unit to a relative who lives far away, and don’t tell your PRINCE ZUKO unit where he is.
c)style='font:7.0pt "Times New Roman"'>      Change the default setting of interaction for both your AANG and PRINCE ZUKO units.
FRIENDLY: This setting will have your AANG and PRINCE ZUKO units working in tandem. Note: the programming on this interaction is quite limited, but it is a useful setting should yours or your neighbor’s AANG unit be taken into captivity by an ADMIRAL ZHAO unit. This setting will be automatically de-activated if the AANG unit gets nostalgic and starts asking your PRINCE ZUKO units if they could have been friends, once upon a time.
SLASH: Ignoring the obvious moral ramifications of putting an AANG unit into SLASH mode with a PRINCE ZUKO unit, it is unofficially possible to do so. However, should you choose to, due to his already consuming obsession with the AANG unit, your PRINCE ZUKO unit may or may not go into WORSHIPFUL mode of the AANG unit; thus become completely unavailable to you. Any attempts to change this setting back to the default by you might end up in severe burns or loss of limbs. If the yaoi fangirl / fanboy in you gets tired of being ignored, please send your PRINCE ZUKO back to us for reprogramming. (See above note on shipping.)
ADMIRAL ZHAO
There is only one setting between the ADMIRAL ZHAO and PRINCE ZUKO units: HOSTILE. Under no circumstances should you keep the two units under the same roof.
Warning: There has been a rumor circulating that it is possible to engage these two units into SLASH mode. This is absolutely untrue, and may result in the incineration of your home, pets, family, and next door neighbors.
KATARA
Should your PRINCE ZUKO unit come into contact with a KATARA unit, it is likely that the KATARA unit will demand the WATER TRIBE NECKLACE that your PRINCE ZUKO unit was shipped with. Your PRINCE ZUKO unit will respond by offering to exchange the necklace for the whereabouts of the AANG unit. The KATARA unit will tell him ‘no way’. That is the extent of their PRE-PROGRAMMED interaction. There is, of course, a THIRD PARTY ZUTARA modification chip available on the internet that will make your PRINCE ZUKO model capture your neighbors KATARA model, interrogate her, and eventually fall in love with her. But take great caution when ordering this chip, since it also has a tendency to have both the KATARA and PRINCE ZUKO units acting in ways that are OOC. We’ve had a great many PRINCE ZUKO models returned to us because they’ve suddenly started being polite, smiling, and teaching the neighbors AANG unit how to FIREBEND.
SOKKA, HARU, JET
If your SOKKA unit should come into contact with your PRINCE ZUKO unit, your PRINCE ZUKO will most likely ignore him unless provoked; then he’ll just toss him aside as casually as swatting a fly.
It is possible to set both your SOKKA and PRINCE ZUKO units to SLASH mode with a third party SOZU chip, but doing so will have both behaving very OOC. See the above warning on the ZUTARA chip.
There is no preprogrammed interaction for the HARU or JET models. None. Zip. Nada. Nil. So unless you want to watch them stand around idle all day, don’t even try it.
TROUBLESHOOTING
Problem: I’ve received my PRINCE ZUKO and he’s absolutely gorgeous! Thank you! The only problem is that he’s suddenly worshiping my daughter’s Barbie dolls, and professing his love to them. Whatever happened to the proud, arrogant FIREBENDER that I thought I ordered?
Solution: We are so very sorry. It sounds like your PRINCE ZUKO is an earlier model, and doesn’t have the ANTI MARY-SUE filter installed. The MARY-SUE virus is vicious, and alters your PRINCE ZUKO’s entire character. If you send us your address, we will send out a technician to update your PRINCE ZUKO’s software with the newest ANTI MARY-SUE filter. Please remove all of his clothes and place him on your bed so when our technician arrives, he / she will have access to all of his input ports.
Problem: My PRINCE ZUKO is depressed. He’s not even interested in NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES anymore. Also, he keeps talking about the AVATAR. Is there something going on with him and my neighbor’s AANG model that I should know about?
Solution: Simple. Your PRINCE ZUKO just wants to restore his HONOR. Unfortunately, this is inevitable with PRINCE ZUKO models and will happen from time to time. If you really want to help resolve it, borrow your neighbors AANG unit and let your PRINCE ZUKO take him to the nearest LORD OZAI unit. If your neighbor is suspicious of your motives, ensure him / her that the AANG unit has a hidden subroutine to engage the AVATAR mode on its own, should the AANG unit be in mortal danger. Therefore, the AANG unit will escape from LORD OZAI with little to no damage, and your PRINCE ZUKO will have regained his HONOR. Everyone should come out happy, except for the LORD OZAI unit. But since he’s not a very popular unit right now – our customers tend to like details, like facial features and skin tones – who really cares?
Problem: My PRINCE ZUKO unit is angry, and keeps asking me for an AGNI KAI. What is this, and how do I get one? I want my sweet-Zuko-baby-love-muffin to be happy-dappy-wappy!
Solution: Ouch. We suggest you shut the unit down and return him to us. Unless you are feeling particularly suicidal, do not acquiesce to his demands. You obviously didn’t follow the installation instructions. If you insist upon obsessive fangirling, maybe a HARU unit is more your style. The HARU unit lacks a PERSONALITY CHIP and is much more tolerant. Again, see above note on packaging.
Problem: I decided to give my PRINCE ZUKO unit a beer. Now, he can’t even talk without flames poring out of his mouth! What did I do wrong?
Solution: We apologize for not specifying ALCHOHOL specifically in our list of flammable household items; however we suggest you lay off the sauce and use your own COMMON SENSE to figure them out for your self. In the meantime, invite all your neighbors over for a bonfire, and have your PRINCE ZUKO ignite it by instructing him to go outside for a call of nature. This should take care of the problem.
FINAL NOTE:
While he may be difficult, arrogant, highly flammable and hard to please, with care and respect your PRINCE ZUKO will remain loyal to you for the duration of your ownership. PRINCE ZUKO units have a lifespan of up to 75 years so remember to make the most of the time you have together.
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Prince Zuko: An Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual