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Drive-By Download	By : Breech_Loader Category: Transformers > Transformers: Animated > Slash - M/M Views: 2842 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own any Transformers. I do not make money from this story. All disclaimers on this site have as much legal strength as wet tissue paper.

Chapter List
- 1-Prologue
- 1
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Co-Written by Harley Quinn hyenaholic and Ryan

~~~

Harley: Something just went wrong with this. People have been accusing me of making Jazz wildly OOC – and with good reason. But I still want to write this. And then somebody suggested something to me – a GOOD reason to have Jazz so OOC. So, a slight rearrangement of things. Most largely that the story now has a prologue which should be read, but the first chapter will also be different.

Ryan: Mind you, stuff like this isn't exactly my forte, but I wanted to help out Harley, so here I am. It's pretty nasty, but I think it's an original idea, so that should count for something. ^_^;

Harley: Sorry about all of this. You’re still not advised to read if you don’t like robotic child abuse.

~~~

Prologue

“Ugh...” Jazz stared at the screen behind his optics. He was surfing the internet for Ultra Magnus, researching human culture, so that the Elite Guard wouldn’t stand out so much and seem more approachable to humans. Currently he was sitting in the Autobot base on Earth, plugged in to a broadband connection to the Internet. And while some of what he was learning was cool, a lot of it he didn’t really understand, and even more of it he found totally boring.

He’d been researching and downloading information on human culture for hours now. How could there be an entire encyclopaedia on cacti online? He wasn’t that interested in the plant life of the planet anyway. But this was so dull...

"That is so not cool..." The Elite Guard cyberninja decided to take a break. Of course Ultra Magnus would go a little nuts if he actually came off the internet, but it wouldn’t hurt to visit sites that he found interesting and download things from them for a while instead.

Soon enough he found a website on human music. He loved human music – it was cool and the beats were just awesome. It was radically different to Cybertronian music. And of course, it counted as human culture. So he wouldn’t get into trouble about it from Ultra Magnus.

He downloaded a few promising sounding tunes and listened to them a few times, then switched to another music site.

He saw the banner at the top of the page immediately. It was, in fact, impossible to miss, with its bright colours, large font, and the way it flashed a lot. He was always seeing adverts on the internet, but they were never for anything he wanted, so he left them alone, until the day Ultra Magnus said he wanted diet pills, or Sentinel Prime said he wanted to chat as a sorcerer.

But this one said, “YOU ARE THE 32491554th PERSON TO VISIT THIS WEBSITE!!! YOU ARE A WINNER!!! CLICK HERE FOR YOUR PRIZE!!!”

A winner? Jazz thought. Maybe it was some sort of promotion to get more people to visit the site in hopes of winning something. He wondered what he’d won. He clicked on the link without thinking.

The website that he arrived at didn’t look like he’d won anything at all. In fact it was rather horrible. Jazz didn’t really understand any of the images of small humans. They didn’t seem to have any of the armour on that they usually did, and they were in strange positions, and doing strange things to each other. Some of them resembled the positions Cybertronians used while interfacing.

He clicked on one of the links to get away from the page as quickly as possible.

And reeled.

~~~

When Jazz came out of stasis lock, he was on his back and his veiw was blocked by a black and cold chassis. After a moment, Prowl pulled back and was looking down at him, his normally stoic face appearing slightly concerned.

“Jazz? Are you fully functional?” he asked, “I was passing by and you just collapsed... you’ve been out for about five minutes.”

Jazz rubbed his forehead. What had he just been doing? Oh, yeah, researching human culture, “Yeah, I’m cool,” he said, “Just got a bit of an ache in my hard drive...” he rubbed his forehead again.

“Maybe you should have that checked out with Ratchet?” Prowl suggested.

“Nah, I’ve just been doin’ this for too long,” said Jazz, “I’ll just take a meditation break.”

Prowl didn’t protest of push him, but just nodded, “Well, I’ll be taking one too, so if you want to take yours with me...”

“I’m cool with that,” Jazz said simply.

~~~

It was about an hour later, and Jazz was sending his research on human culture to Ultra Magnus when somebody turned up behind him.

“What’cha doing?” Bumblebee asked, looking over his shoulder, “Researching human stuff? Why didn’t you ask me? I know tons of stuff about humans! Come on, ask me something!”

Jazz turned to face the yellow mech. Bumblebee was by far the youngest Autobot in this base – and the loudest. Nonetheless, for the first time Jazz found his attention gravitating towards the ‘bot’s mouth. Well of course, he was the type of kid who spoke as loudly as most people shouted. But that little mouth was looking really pretty right now...

“Come ON, ask me something!” Bumblebee shouted, wanting to prove that he was smarter than Jazz, “Anything!”

“Heh...” Jazz chuckled, dragging his attention back to looking at Bumblebee, “What brand of wax do you use on your bodywork, Bee?” he asked.

Bumblebee laughed, “What, you wish you were as polished and good-looking as me?” he asked back, puffing out his chassis with pride and rapping it.

This time Jazz’ attention was drawn to Bumblebee’s chassis. He’d never noticed how well-formed the Autobot’s chassis was. For a kid who had failed Elite Guard training and had to do hard work on space bridges, Bumblebee was remarkably well formed, “Somethin’ like that,” he smiled, “Hey, Bumblebee... how’d you like to go on a drive with me around the city? Show me the sights?”

“Sure thing,” Bumblebee grinned, “Sari’s doing her lessons right now, so I’ve got nothing else to do. I’ll show you some things I know you’ll like!”

~~~

Thirty minutes later and Jazz was driving behind Bumblebee in a rough part of Detroit. It didn’t bother them of course. It would take dozens of humans to even give them trouble, much less hurt them. Bumblebee was going to show Jazz a club where they played some great music.

Jazz tried to pay attention to the road but his gaze kept reverting to Bumblebee’s bumper. Well, that was just fine. He was supposed to be following Bumblebee. The real problem would be if he was following Bumblebee and he was looking at the smaller Autobot’s headlights!

The music at the club was good too, and Jazz kept looking at Bumblebee’s body. Which he couldn’t understand, because he didn’t really feel that way about Bumblebee – the mech was too young for him really. But looking didn’t hurt anybody, did it? And Bumblebee didn’t even really notice. Eventually, even though Jazz could have listened to the music and watched Bumblebee for hours, the club closed for the night and they had to leave.

“It’s some funky rhythms you’ve got there, kid,” he told the younger Autobot as they drove back. Once again he kept looking at Bumblebee’s bumper.

“Thanks, Jazz,” Bumblebee grinned as they transformed into robot mode, “You’re one cool customer yourself.”

Jazz didn’t even know why he did it. He’d been looking at Bumblebee’s well-polished bodywork all day now, and he just raised his hand and placed his palm on the Autobot’s chassis. It was smooth and cool, and several seconds of awkward silence passed before he said, “We gotta do this again sometime, hey Bumblebee?”

Bumblebee took a step backwards, breaking the touch. He wasn’t entirely sure why Jazz had touched him like that, but eventually he brought himself to say, “Yeah, it’s been fun.” Then he hurried off to his room, feeling strange.

Jazz returned to his room too, feeling even stranger. Mechs got into relationships all the time, and he’d been thinking about talking to Prowl about them going on what humans called a ‘date’. But now whenever he tried to think of solid, stern Prowl, the image of Bumblebee came to mind. Young, and innocent, and naive... Prowl already knew everything, but there was so much Jazz could teach Bumblebee.

Young... and so innocent... The idea of that made Jazz feel aroused for some reason. He lay down on his bunk and pictured the young... and innocent... Bumblebee... in his meta. Why was that thought so arousing? He’d never really paid this kind of attention to Bumblebee in the past.

He dismissed it as nothing, but without really thinking about what he was doing, his hand unclipped the heavy armour on his crotch. Lots of mechs did it privately. Hell, he’d even walked in on Sentinel doing it once.

He started to stroke the covers to his ports gently, still thinking about the young and innocent Bumblebee. He imagined what the kid must look like under his yellow armour... he doubted that Bumblebee had ever interfaced before. The yellow Autobot had probably never been touched before. Jazz would be his first.

“Mmmm...” one of Jazz’ ports slid open and he stroked it as more images of small humans entered his meta. He didn’t understand all of them, but a lot of them were linking back to Bumblebee, and that was the image he concentrated on as he continued to stroke himself.

He wasn’t doing anybody any harm, after all...

~~~

Ryan: Review if you can, but bear in mind that this is a work in progress, so it's not going to be awesome or whatever by default. So don't be a douche with your comments, all right?"

Harley: And keep in mind that Ryan got to write his own ANs this time so that’s why he sounds different. There are more chapters to come. More things will happen. And it will get very horrible.
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