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Electric Boogaloo	By : sefiru Category: Transformers > G1 > Crossovers Views: 1565 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers and make no money on this.

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- 1-Electric Boogaloo
- 1
Electric Boogaloo
An April Fools Crackfic
By Sefiru
***
Rating: R
Warnings: Crack, yaoi, crack, furs, crack, crossover, sticky, crack.
Pairing: Megatron/Pikachu.
Summary: Megatron investigates an unusual technorganic planet, and encounters one of the locals.
I dare anyone to come up with a crackier TF pairing than this. It isn’t any particular version of Megatron; he talks like BW Megs, but he’s about the size of movie Megs, and is a Decepticon. And I guess it isn’t the Pikachu either, just a pikachu. In other words, continuity can kiss it.
Be sure to check out my other April Fools Special in the Dragonball section, “Vegeta the Schoolgirl.”
Enjoy, and/or run away screaming.
***
Electric Boogaloo
***
     Megatron wasn’t fond of organic planets. Not the phobia or disgust that some Decepticons held for them, no; the lifeforms on them simply tended to lack challenge. He hoped, however, that this planet would prove an exception. The orbital scouts had reported an unknown form of technorganic sentient with an inordinate power-to-size ratio. Such a technology, if reverse engineered, could provide the Decepticons with a decisive advantage, yes. Megatron had decided to investigate in person.
     He had not bothered with a local altmode, as he did not intend to stay for long, and the area around his scoutship appeared uninhabited. A Decepticon, however, did not make assumptions in that regard. His initial scans had been promising, yes; unlike most sentient species, the inhabitants of this one were not the usual four-limbed bipeds. At least not all of them. Further study would be needed to determine if the planet’s inhabitants were one, varied species or a multitude of related ones. The dominant group appeared superficially human; some of the others hardly looked like life forms at all. Not that their body shapes mattered, no. Megatron was more interested in the power source behind their integrated energy weapons and subspace manipulation.
     His fuel gauge pinged at him. His tank was half empty, the minimum he maintained when he could. He brought a stack of energon cubes out of subspace and sipped them, tossing each empty cube to the ground. The landscape was picturesque, in an organic sort of way. The local society was not industrial … unfortunate for them. The Decepticons would make this planet and its secrets their own, yes.
     A scurry of movement at his feet caught Megatron’s attention. Something had crawled into one of the discarded energon cubes; an angular yellow tail was visible sticking out of it. One of the locals, yes. Megatron swiftly scooped up the cube and its occupant, holding it in front of his optics. “How absurd.”
     “Pika?” The erstwhile scavenger wore the shape of a rodent, with oblong ears, bright yellow fur, and two circular red structures on its face. There were splatters of energon around its mouth. It was barely the size of his thumb; it hopped up and perched on his knuckle, staring up at his face. “Chuuuuu.”
     Wonderful, his translation programs were malfunctioning. That was the last time he was going to buy software from Swindle, yes. Still, the dominant language of the planet was in his data banks. He played a throat-clearing sound, and then spoke. “Greetings, primitive. I, Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, require information about this planet.”
      “Chu!” Electric sparks suddenly leapt from the red circles on the thing’s face. On anything its own size, that would have been a stunning shock; Megatron barely felt a tingle. He swatted at the creature out of reflex, which caused it to sprint to the nearest hiding place … which happened to be under his own torso plating
      “Slag!” Megatron banged on his side, trying to dislodge the rodent, but all he got was another, stronger jolt. And this one triggered subroutines that he didn’t expect. “Oooooh …”
      “Pi?” Another shock in the same location; he groaned again before he could shut down his vocalizer. “Pika!” he could feel the creature scampering through his internals, its paws catching on wires and fuel lines. It had soft fur which brushed sensors that had rarely been touched by anything. The next shock was much stronger and caught him by surprise; he swayed on his feet.
     “Ooooh … yessss …” Leading the Decepticons led to certain privileges with his subjects, but he was currently between bunk warmers. And the effects of this electric rodent were deliciously unique. Megatron shifted his internal pistons, trying to provoke another discharge. Instead, he got a series of small, tickling sparks scattered over every part of his inner structure; each resulted in a hiss of varying loudness; his interface port test cycled. A pause, while Megatron ran his cooling fans hard. Then the current started up again, low and sustained, flowing directly onto the sensors that had caused the greatest reaction before.
     The creature was doing it deliberately, he realized. First probing, and then applying its “attack” to maximum effect. A well-programmed specimen, yes. Megatron locked down his leg joints before his spasms caused him to fall over; the rodent’s current crackled over his spark chamber, and his optics shorted out. He refreshed them with a growl. The creature’s electricity was driving him mad; it had systematically targeted all the most sensitive circuits in his body. He could still feel it rubbing its fur against his components, perhaps stimulating itself as much as him. Megatron didn’t care, as long as it finished what it started.
      Another pause. Megatron snarled; he was on the ragged edge, just one more spark would push him over … “Pi!” The rodent’s energy field surged; it was winding up for a primary strike. “Pikaaaa!” Megatron suspended all processes except his sensors, anticipating. “CHUU!”
     A thunderbolt struck in two directions. Up, through Megatron’s Spark chamber. Down, through his port. Circuits fired randomly and electric arcs crackled over his limbs. He screamed his passion to the heavens; only his locked joints kept him from falling. And then he offlined.
     When his systems rebooted, Megatron found that the native creature had not escaped him. In fact, it had somehow got into his port, where it was curled up, sleeping. As he shifted, the thing’s fur brushed his plating, giving him an, er, warm inner glow. Hmm, if the creature was inclined to stay, it could be good for morale – his own, if no one else’s. It ate energon, so it would be simple to keep. And yellow was a pleasing color, yes …
***
If one of the participants is a robot, does that count as ‘toys’?
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Electric Boogaloo