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Queen of the machines	By : psychotol Category: +1 through F > Daria Views: 4880 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Daria, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Synopsis: a trip to Las Vegas goes pear shaped for some Lawndalians, which is just more work for the Las Vegas crime lab.

Constraints: before “Lucky Strike?” and “One Hit Wonder” after “The F Word” and “Crate And Burial”

Can’t shoot, won’t shoot.

Content warning: graphic acts of violence, mutilation and swearing.

Legal: Daria and the cast thereof belong to MTV, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation belongs to CBS.

Also, thanks Cygna Vamp for the 411 on the slang, ‘cos I really buggered that one and the next episodes will be in prose.

Reason this one’s staying in script is because I wanted to keep the soundtrack and because I’m too lazy to rewrite the whole thing again in another format.

/

Scene: a casino, we see the patrons gambling away, music: “living on the edge” by ‘Brittany Fox’.

/

Cut to: Sandi, Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany sitting at a bar drinking colas.

Cut to: Mack and Kevin at the craps tables, Kevin rolls the dice, pumps his fist in celebration, until Mack explains something about the value of what he just rolled, at which point Kevin looks disappointed, … and puts more chips on the table, and has another go.

Cut to: Daria and upchuck at a card game table, Daria has several large stacks of chips, while upchuck is on his last three.

Upchuck and Daria put up their bets, they play, Daria wins.

Cut to: Angie (one of the cheerleaders) entering the ladies toilets, she’s wearing a purple tee shirt that doesn’t quite cover her navel and a blue ankle length skirt, black medium heels.

Cut to: Daria, she scoops her chips into her bucket and heads off to cash them in.

Cut to: Jane and Andrea at some slot machines.

Jane reaches into her bucket and finds she’s out of chips.

Daria: walks past.

Jane: begs Daria for chips (same way a mother wolf begs her partner for meat)

Daria: deposits a fistful of chips into Janes bucket and continues on.

Cut to: the same toilets Angie entered.

Daria: enters, goes to a stall, takes a leak, and sniffs the air “that smells familiar” exits the stall, heads to the sinks, washes her hands, then realizes something “crap” she gets on her hands and knees and looks under the doors and partitions, she then kicks in a stall door.

Cut to: Darias point of view, we see Angie sitting on the toilet with her intestines hanging out of a slit from her pubis to her sternum in the toilet bowl.

Cut to: the previous view, Daria is standing there looking like she’s about to shit herself.

/

Cut to: later, same view, only with a security guard where Daria was.

/

Gill: entering the toilet “crime lab”

Nick: follows.

Security guard: “can I go now?”

Gill: “I’ll need to know if you touched anything”

Security guard: “no”

Gill: “who kicked the door in?”

Security guard: “I dunno, can I go now? Just I got this urge to puke my guts up”

Gill and Nick look at him funny.

/

Cue a combination of the CSI and Daria intros, with a Splendora Piss-take of Townsends “who are you?”

/

Scene: an interview room, Jim and Nick are interviewing Daria.

/

Nick: “okay, your name again”

Daria: “Daria Morgendorffer”

Nick: “right, Miss Morgendror, … mmmm, … right, Daria, so, what’s with your boots?”

Daria: “my socks and feet, … anny, ny, many single celled organisms”

Nick: “okay, … do you know anyone else who wears such unusual footwear?”

Daria: “personally, no, the reason I kicked the door in was that I didn’t know the occupant was dead, just that a lot of her blood was on the wrong side of her epidermis.

I thought I was dealing with a suicide case, but considering how statistically rare it is for suicidal people to choose to gut themselves in a public convenience, about half the word now seems wrong”

Jim: “who said anything about the door?”

Daria: “why else would my footwear become relevant?”

Nick: “how are you holding up?”

Daria: “well, … I feel fine right now, that could be shock, otherwise, I’m mourning the loss of the acceptability of making jokes related to the subject of disembowelment”

The cop and scientist watch Daria for a little longer.

Nick: “alright, you can go, we may need to talk to you again, so stay within the city limits”

Daria: “yeah, happy hunting” leaves.

Jim: “hmm, … a touch flippant, don’t you think?”

Nick: “doesn’t make her the killer”

Jim: “true, … true, … who’s next?”

/

Scene: a concrete room with some bits of carbonized wood that look like they came from a desk, bedside cabinets, and seats of some kind, the remains of a spring mattress, and two barely recognizable (as being of species Homosapian) corpses.

/

Fire chief, Warrick, and Sara: enter.

Warrick: whistles in awe “who was listed as being here?”

Fire chief: “a Mr. and Mrs. Deckler, and their daughter, we only got two bodies, we haven’t been able to locate their daughter”

Sara: “right” gets a syringe and a long needle out of her toolkit.

One of the fire crew: enters “excuse me, a Tiffany Blum Deckler is asking about the room”

Warrick: “right, we’re not certain these are her parents yet, do we have a hypocenter for the fire yet?”

Sara: removes fluids from within the center of one of the corpses and gets another syringe.

Fire chief: “no, but I doubt an accidental fire could do all of this”

Warrick: looking down at the soot.

We zoom i the the floor, we see what looks like grayish lumps of gravel.

Warrick: “a bit strange … ”

We resume a normal view.

Warrick: gets a bag and some tweezers.

Sara: bagging and tagging the syringes “what’s strange?”

Warrick: “these lumps, what could have produced them?” bags a few of them and holds them up.

Fire chief: “carpets are supposed to be fire retardant, and given how well done the corpses are, there’s no way I can’t think this was an arson”

Warrick: “and this stuff?”

Fire chief: shrugs “yo the the one with a laboratory”

Sara: “right, I’d better talk to Tiffany”

/

Scene: the security booth, Gill and a technician are going through the footage of the camera overlooking the entrance to the female toilets.

/

Tech: “do you think this would allow us to argue for allowing cameras in the ladies toilets?”

Gill: “possibly”

Tech: “cool”

Gill: “’course, the mens toilets would also be under surveillance, but if watching some fat slobs beating off is the price of those up-skirts, then, so be it”

Tech: “ugh, … ”

Gill: “stop, that’s her”

Cut to: the VDU, we see Angie entering the women’s toilets.

Tech: “okay, this point is now marked” he resumes the fast play, we see Brittany entehen hen a few tourists, who exit, then Stacy, she exits, Jodie, she also leaves, then Daria.

Gill: “stop, that’s the girl who reported it”

Tech: “what, the transvestite?”

Gill: just about suppresses a sneer “ … let’s find the point where she leaves”

Tech: “right” fast plays to where Daria leaves and yells out something, he resumes real time.

A security guard walks up to her, she says something, the guard shakes his head laughing as if she’s taking the piss, Daria says something else, the guard enters with a skeptical look on his face, Daria leads him in.

They emerge half a minute later, the Guard looking ill, talking into his radio.

Tech: “that’s when he told us about the body”

Gill: “girl looks calm for someone who just found a mutilated body”

Tech: “you think she did it?”

Gill: “no, post mortem indicates that the girl was dead for too long for it to have been her, I’ll need a copy of that tape, and of any with the victim in it”

Tech: “right”

/

Scene: the hotel lobby, Tiffany is sitting next to a cop looking at her makeup.

/

Sara: enters “Tiffany Deckler?”

Tiffany: “yeahhhhhh?”

Sara: “I’m Sara, I’m with the crime lab, I’m going to need a DNA sample from you”

Tiffany: “whhhyyyyy?”

Sara: “we got two badly disfigured corpses, and no sign of your parents, we want to figure out if the corpses we got are your parents”

Tiffany: “ohhhhhkayyyyyyyyy?”

Sara: produces a swab “open wide”

Tiffany: “whhhyyyyyyy?”

Sara: “I need a sample of your saliva for the DNA”

Tiffany: “wwwwwwwwww” opens her mouth.

Sara: takes her sample “okay, thank you” stows the swab “do you have any friends you can stay with?”.

Tiffany: “friieeeennnndddssss? … ohhhhhh yesssssss, … … iiiiiiiii couuuuuuuuld stayyyyyyyyyy withhhhhhhhhh ssssssssaaaaaaaannnnnnddddddiiiiiiii”

Sara: “okay then, where is she?”

Tiffany: “shhhhhheeeeeee’sssss onnnnnnnn thhhhhe sssss-”

Sara: interrupting “-you know what, take me there, show me where it is”

Tiffany: “ooooookkaaaayyyyyyyy” leads Sara off.

/

Scene: the Griffins hotel room, a, Ta, Tom and Sandi are looking at brochures, planning their next day’s activities.

/

There’s a knock.

Linda: opens it “yes?”

Sara: “there a Sandi griffin here?”

Linda: turning to Sandi “what have you done now?”

Sara: “no, she’s not in any trouble, but Tiffanies room got incinerated, and she was hoping she could stay with you”

Linda: “oh, … okay” waves Tiffany in.

Tiffany: entering “thaaaaaankyouuuuuuu”

Sara: “I may need to talk to her soon, don’t y’all go anywhere, ‘kay?” as she leaves.

Linda: well duh “yes” closes the door.

/

Scene: autopsy room, Angie is there with her insides next to her in a bucket, the coroner is transferring her intestine from the bucket to another inspecting every centimeter.

/

Gill: enters “so, can we say anything about the weapon other than it was sharp?”

Coroner: “we can once we’re done inspecting the intestines, although the probable entry angle of the weapon would probably have cut into the bladder if it was longer than an inch, where there any signs that the body had been placed on the toilet after being disemboweled?”

Gill: “no, but she could have been standing up when the killer gutted her”

Coroner: “an elevated angle could have cut the liver, I didn’t see any cuts on the liver, it’s possible the killer managed to avoid either with a longer weapon, but I’m thinking the killer simply used a short blade long enough to get through the abdominal sack from the outside”

Gill: “right, what’s the most likely weapon then?”

Coroner: “a penknife, some types of Swiss army knife, corkscrew knife, I’m leaning towards penknife, but any of the above could have been used provided the blade had been sharpened”

Gill: “time for some experimentation, methinks” leaves.

/

Scene: the lab, Greg is sitting next to the printer.

/

Warrick: enters “so, what did I find?”

Greg: picks up the print out “you found, … salt???”

Warrick: “okay, salt, … ”

Greg: “plus some carbon and a fire retardant, … oh, I know what this is, see, there’s this generic weedkiller, sodium chlorate, it’s a powerful oxidizer, it’s mixed with a fire retardant to reduce the possibility of an explosion, but it can still cause or enhance a fire”

Warrick: “so, not an accident”

Greg: “for this much salt to accumulate, could be an accident, but more likely that either this was done by a previous occupant for a laugh, or the Decklers where targeted for termination”

Warrick: “bit of a stretch to say this was an assassinn”
n”

Sara: enters “what you got?”

Greg and Warrick: “salt”

Sara: “salt?”

Warrick: “carpet might have been petrified with sodium chlorate, horticultural Sodium chlorate comes with a fire retardant to reduce the likelihood of an accidental fire, but that doesn’t mean it won’t enhance a fire.

We’re thinking either prank or assassination attempt, be a stretch to think it was an accident”

Greg: “unless they have a severe humidity problem and one of the occupants felt compelled to do something about the mushrooms growing out of the carpet”

Warrick: “so we need to look at the rooms previous occupants and Tiffany”

Sara: “I think we can eliminate Tiffany as our arsonist, the rooms previous occupants where a Summer and Wind Lane, … weird names, but we can’t locate either of them at this time.

Summer’s clean, Wind’s got various warrants for bigamy, but their school records indicate that neither have the ability to plan something like this”

Warrick: “and Tiffany?”

Sara: “Tiffany has, … problems, but I think those would be of the learning variety”

Greg: “well, the person who rigged the room had to have been fairly recent, I mean, the hotel shampoos the carpets every fortnight”

Sara: “that means it would have to have been either wind or summer lane, or even both”

Warrick: “well, let’s find them then”

/

Scene: the hotels arcade, Daria and are are at a “time crisis Iame, the they are both doing very well.

/

Daria: “so, Jane, you got to know them, right?”

Jane: “who?”

Daria: “the cheerleaders, remember?”

Jane: “no”

Justin Lammond: walks up behind Daria, watches the action.

Daria: “the failure assignment, I dared you to be conventional, you tried out for-”

Jane: “no memories of that what so ever, never happened, we shooting or what?”

Daria: “sure”

Ecklie and two uniformed cops: come up to them.

Justin: leaves.

Ecklie: “well, well, well, what have we here? Rehearse much?”

Daria: “excuse me?”

Ecklie: “I understand you two have something against cheerleaders”

Jane: “leaders, followers, whatever”

Daria: “you know we didn’t do it”

Ecklie: “do what?”

The game ends.

Daria: turns towards them “what exactly do you want from us?”

Ecklie: “an admission of guilt would be wise”

Daria: “your people already cleared us, remember?”

Ecklie: snorts “fooling Grissom is one thing, but fooling me, … ”

Daria: “I don’t even have to try”

Ecklie: “we’ll see” signals for the cops to nick them both.

Jane: “HEY, COME ON! WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!”

Daria: “that’s right, free board and transport for absolutely nothing! Right here in Las Vegas, see idiot cops for immediate service”

/

Scene: the Griffins Hotel room, Stacy is sitting next to Tiffany Bawling her eyes out.

/

Stacy: hiccuping from crying too hard “I feel so sorry fou, ou, your parents dying like that, it’s SOOOOOO AWFUUUUULLLLLLL” buries her face in Tiffanies lap.

Tiffany: pats her on her shoulder “therrrre, therrrre, … therrre, therrre, …”

There’s a knock on the door, Tiffany looks around and gently lifts Stacies head off her lap, she answers the door.

Sara: “Hi Tiffany, can I come in?”

Tiffany: “yesssssssss” lets her in.

Stacy: recovers enough to greet Sara “hi”

Sara: “hi, I’m Sara Cidal”

Stacy :”um, interesting name, sounds like suicidal”

Sara: flashes a frown.

Stacy: full burners grovel “EEP! I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING T, PT, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN, PLEASE!” continues to grovel loudly and desperately in the background.

Gill: enters behind her “Sara?”

Sara: “err”

Tiffany: “whoooooooooo’s thaaaaaaaaaaat?”

Gill: “Gill Grissom” extends his hand to Tiffany.

Tiffany: shakes it “Hiiiiiiiii”

Gill: to Stacy “and you’re, … ”

Stacy: stops groveling for along enough to say “I’m Stacy Rowe” resumes pleading for Saras forgiveness.

Gill: “Tiffany, why don’t you and I talk in private, and give Ms Rowe and Ms Cidal some space”

Sara: look of ‘please GOD NO!’ “Err, actually”

Gill and Tiffany: leave.

Gill: “we’ll be right outside” closes the door behind him.

Sara: looks uneasily at Stacy “okay, … Stacy, … so, … how well do you know the Decklers?”

/

Scene: the hallway outside, Gill and Tiffany sit on a bench.

/

Gill: “so, you know much about your parents social lives?”

Tiffany: “noooooooo”

Gill: “how about their jobs?”

Tiffany: “my daaaaaad’s a booooooook publisherrrrrrrrrr”

Gill: “and your mother?”

Tiffany: “my motherrrrr’s a womaaaaaaaan”

Gill: “yes, mothers usually are, … she have a job?”

Tiffany: “noooooooooo”

Gill: “right, … either of them talk about anyone who had threatened them or otherwise expressed anger?”

Tiffany: thinks very hard about this “nooooooooooooo”

Sandi: from offscreen “oh Tiffany, dear, what are you doing with this, … ”

We expand to include Sandi in the shot.

Gill: extends his hand “Gill Grissom, I’m with the crime lab, and you are?”

Sandi: crosses her arms rather snottily and says “Sandi Griffin, president of the Lawndale high fashion club”

Gill: look of total huh? “Fashion club? What’s that about then?”

Sandi: “like, fashion, duh”

Gill: “ … right, … do you know anything about the Decklers, if they where being threatened or harassed or anything like that?”

Sandi: “how would I know something like that? It’s not like they diverse much to me”

Gill: “you mean divulge, right?”

Sandi: “whatever, geek, Tiffany, come” goes to her room.

Tiffany: gets up and follows Sandi.

Gill: “what about you Tiffany? Have you received any threats against your life?”

Tiffany: “nooooooooooo”

Sandi: “Tiffany, what have I told you about talking with strange people?” opens her hotel room door, letting the sounds of Stacies groveling escape, she enters “Stacy, what have I told you about making a scene?”

Stacy: “I’m sorry Sandi, it’ll never happen again, I swear-”

Sara: escapes and shuts the door behind her, and leans against the wall, taking slow controlled breaths.

Gill: “did you get anything out of Rowe?”

Sara: sneers, takes the piss out of Stacy “I’m sorry, I didn’t get anything, please, it’s all my fault, I’m sorry” walks off with that classic ‘you’re best bet is to stay away mother fucker, it’s just one of those days!’ look on her face.

Gill: “ … right … ” walks off.

/

Scene: the interrogation room, Ecklie and Jim are interviewing Daria.

/

Ecklie: “well, according to your principal, you’re quite the trouble maker”

Daria: “another thing I can apparently do without trying”

Ecklie: “say’s you’re antisocial, a loner who hangs out with trouble makers, who writes these disturbing fantasies, every bit the next Unibomber”
ia: ia: “right, and Martin Luther King was part of a plot to make the United States another Solviet republic”

Ecklie: “paranoid delusions, extreme right wing views”

Jim: shaking his head “Ecklie, we already eliminated her from our inquiries, remember?”

Ecklie: “is that what you believe? Or are you just saying that because Grissom doesn’t like me”

Jim: looks like he desperately wants to say ‘pick one’

Daria: winces, rubs her temples.

Ecklie: “now Daria, perhaps you could tell us who you conspired with to get poor Angie murdered, we know you hate cheerleaders, along with everything else to do with school and community spirit.

We KNOW YOU’RE INVOLVED, DARIA, WE WILL FIND WHAT YOU FORGOT TO CLEAN UP AND WE WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL CONFESS NOW!”

Daria: “ … … I bet Kevin Thompson would make a better cop than you”

Ecklie: “corrupt?”

Daria: “look, holding me for two days may be very amusing for you, but this is my vacation, remaining time of said vacation would be cut in half by your holding us for that long, I mean, come on, you wouldn’t want it done to you”

Ecklie: “I also wouldn’t want a relative to fall prey to a serial killer either”

Daria: “and I already told you I’m not a serial killer”

Ecklie: “so, just the one murder then?”

Daria: rubbing her temples “you do realize that confessions extracted under torture are inadmissible, right?”

Ecklie: “we don’t use torture, we use science”

Daria: “yeah? Haven’t seen much science occurring since I got here, and if my headache is accidental instead of by design, perhaps you could settle the damage by getting me some aspirin?”

Jim: “Ecklie, we should stop, at least until we have actual evidence, y’know, proof of who did it”

Nick: enters “Jim, a word?”

Jim: “yeah, sure, excuse me” leaves with Nick.

Ecklie: “if you confess now, I’ll put in a good word for you”

Daria: quickly “aselfimportantsadsackofshitwankersayswhat?”

Ecklie: “what? … … What? … … … What???”

Daria: “repeatedly”

Ecklie: looks at her funny.

/

Scene: outside the interview room, Nick and Jim are conversing.

/

Nick: “okay, good news and bad news, the good news is we think we found the murder weapon in the hotel’s garbage, Swiss army knife styled bottle opener with blood on the blade”

Jim: “that’s great”

Nick: “the bad news is we got another corpse, different cuts, but it’s another of the Lawndale High cheerleaders, a Nikki Wiseman, broken toilet brush handle jammed through the brain stem in one of the hotel corridors”

Jim: “that’s bad, but if the MO’s different, … ”

Nick: “they are in the same group, and there’s nothing to suggest that the killings where done for the love of killing, the bottle opener had the hotels name stamped into it, our killer, if it’s the same guy, appears to be using what’s at hand”

Jim: “I see”

Nick: “Jim, I thought we cleared Daria of involvement in the first murder”

Jim: “Ecklie’s decided to try his hand at interrogation, how did that guy end up qualified to work here anyway?”

Nick: “I don’t know”

/

Scene: the burnt out room, there is a grid of strings stretched across the floor, some of them are clear of debris (which is in a bag in the square with a large yellow number on it), Warrick is using a vacuum to pick everything up.

/

Sara: enters “How’s it going Warrick?”

Warrick: stops the vacuum and empties its contents into another plastic bag “not as fast as it would if I had someone to make a start on the next room” starts on the next square.

Sara: “right” goes into the next room.

Dissolve to: later, all the squares are done, Warrick is standing there with a camera, he photos one angle, then takes another angle and photos that.

Dissolve to: later, in the other room, Sara is putting the bags in a box, the room has the remains of a spring mattress, two bedside units, a wire mesh bin full of empty aerosol spray cans, and a desk.

There is a trapezoid piece of the work surface from the desk on the floor that, while carbonized on the surface, looks significantly less damaged than the rest of the piece of furniture.

Warrick: enters “how’s it going?”

Sara: “well, see for yourself, and have a look at the desk there would you? Something is seriously wrong there”

Warrick: looks at it “hmm, that’s from the middle of the desk, that should be more crispy than the rest of it, not less”

Sara: “ask Tiffany about it, I’ll finish up bagging the evidence here”

Warrick: looks at the bin “right, should be able to identify her as the one whose hairdo can withstand a force five twister”

Sara: looks at the bin “yeah, well-” realizes something “she’s only been here three days, there’s no way she’d need that much hairspray”

Warrick: “I can’t imagine the hotel not emptying the bins between customers” leaves.

Sara: after the door slams “I think it’s healthy to share my pain” resumes what she’s doing.

/

Scene: the corridor, Nick and Grissom are photoing and bagging evidence around the dead cheerleader.

/

Warrick: walking through “hey Grissom”

Gill: “hey Warrick, how’s the suspicious fire going?”

Warrick: “oh, slowly but surely, how about the dead cheerleaders?”

Gill: “even slower, Ecklie’s decided to lend a hand”

Warrick: “great, we can always use a hand with five thumbs, I’m just going to talk to Tiffany about her cosmetics”

Gill: “right, are there any remains of the device that started the fire?”

Warrick: “none identifiable so far, Sara’s going to analyze a piece of the desk that apparently survived the fire more than the rest of the desk”

Gill: “right, good luck with that”

Warrick: “thanks, you too” continues on.

Nick: “what do you think of the possibility that Daria and her fd ard are behind this? Not directly, obviously, but Ecklie might have a point, y’know?”

Gill: “what I think is we’re overdue another Islamic terror attack, that seems to be the pattern, y’know, World Trade Centre, Islamic nutter, Oklahoma, disgruntled white guy, then a string of school shootiby oby other disgruntled white guys, I’m expecting a string of Islamic bombings to balance it out”

Nick: “yeah, okay, I guess, but we shouldn’t dismiss the possibility, right?”

Gill: “right, … but you do get how this kind of speculation can only make us miss clues, right?”

Nick: sighs “right”

Jim: walks up to them “found a toilet brush missing most of its handle downstairs.

We’re checking for prints now, and I got word from Catherine that the bottle opener had no fingerprints other than those of the hotels staff, none of whom where in the toilets where Angie was found at the time of death”

Gill: “hmm, it would have looked suspicious if the murderer walked around the amusements wearing a latex glove”

Nick: “freezer bag perhaps?”

Gill: “right, we need to check all the bins on this floor for that kind of bag, the killer might have dumped it immediately without having to carry the murder weapon”

/

Scene: the Griffins room, Warrick is talking to Tiffany, Stacy, Sandi and Quinn are in the background sorting their makeup.

/

Tiffany: “therrrrre wassss alsoo a bottle of linxxx gravityyyy, …. Therrre wasss alsooo a botttttle offffff hugoooo bossss”

Warrick: “anything that looked suspicious, or you didn’t to your knowledge put there?”

Tiffany: “hmmmmmmm”

Warrick: to the others “I know you three may already have been asked this, but do any of you know of any threats that have been made against the Decklers?”

Sandi: “no”

Quinn: “at least nothing against Tiffany”

Stacy: “although that girl who lives with Quinn is kind of Scary”

Quinn: “Daria? Why would she go after Tiffany?”

Sandi: “a bitter twisted freak like that who’s probably a white supremacist too? Gee, I don’t know why she’d try to kill Tiffany”

Warrick: glances at a bin with a lone can of hairspray in it, then at Tiffany, who’s still thinking.

Sandi: “Tiffany, why don’t you tell Warrick here what happened when you where a guidance councilor?”

Quinn: “Sandi, that was not because-”

Sandi: “Daria just walked out while Tiffany was talking, would she have done that if the councilor was someone else?”

Quinn: “well, no, but-”

Sandi: “you should definitely check it out, Warrick, I’m sure Tiffany will get back to you if she remembers anything”

Warrick: sighs “right” gets up, starts to leave, then stops “ooh, hairspray, how much do you girls use each use in a day?”

Tiffany: startles slightly.

Stacy: “I don’t-”

Sandi: “Warrick, that is not the sort of thing you ask a girl”

Tiffany: “yeaaaaahhhhh, ruuuuuuuuude”

Warrick: “right, where any of you at the Decklers hotel room prior to the arson?”

Stacy: “well-”

Sandi: “Are you, like, implying that one of us could have done that?”

Warrick: “should I be? … Actually the reason I ask is that one of you might have seen something, however unimportant, that could be related to the arson”

Sandi: “none of us have seen anything”

Warrick: looks at each of them, then “ … right” leaves.

/

Scene: the interview room, Warrick and Ecklie are interviewing Daria, who’s resting her forehead on the table.

/

Ecklie: “Well, that sure was an impressive arson you did”

Daria: lifts her head slowly, looks at Ecklie like he’s got a penis growing out of his forehead “ … What Arson?”

Ecklie: “The one where the Decklers died, well, two of them, you missed one”

Daria: stares at Ecklie for 5 seconds, the turns to Warrick “Lil’ help please?”

Warrick: “Tiffanies friends have indicated you had some hostility towards her”

Daria: “They’re the fashion club, I have hostility towards all of them, but I have never had cause to kill any of them”

Warrick: “What about Tiffanies parents?”

Daria: shrugs “Never met them”

Ecklie: “I have had a chance to read those stories found in your hotel room, Melody Powers is quite the White Knight, battling the scourge of communism, defending what’s white and pure”

Daria: “For crying out loud”

Ecklie: “Explain that!”

Daria: “Explain what? I have her wasting coneheads and neo-nazis too.

The reason I used North Korea in some of my stories is because they are a plausible threat, not from their size, but from the fact that their leader’s insane, and has them in a complete outside world info blackout.

AND they can start churning out nukes any time they like, can I go now?”

Warrick: “Sandi Griffin said something about you walking out of a peer consoling session because Tiffany was heading it”

Daria: “You should talk to Tiffany”

Warrick: “And ask her what?”

Daria: shrugs “anything that requires more than a single syllable in response, just make sure you have an hour where you got nothing else going on”

Ecklie: “Huh”

Warrick: “Right, … do you know of anyone who might be motivated to hurt the Decklers?”

Daria: “Well, … yeah, actually, maybe not specifically, but our science teacher Janet Barch always seems to rant about Tiffanies dad after parent teacher night.

It could have been someone who overhead her rants if not her, that’s the closest thing I got to a lead right now”

Warrick: “Right, thanks” leaves.

Ecklie: “That little trick-”

Daria: “For fucks sake Ecklie, could you shut up for five minutes? You’re actually more irritating to listen to than- … hang on, … can I have visitors? I have a sudden urge to speak to Brittany Taylor”

Warrick: stops “Why?”

Daria: “It occurs to me that Brittanies boyfriend isn’t known for his fidelity, and Brittany doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who forgives and forgets, … well, not Kevins poor record anyway”

Ecklie: “Come on, that’s the oldest trick in the book”

Daria: “What? Killing rival suitors to your mate?”

Ecklie: “ … … So you’re saying you killed them to get Kevin to go out with you”

Daria: “Ecklie, Kevin’s stupider than you, I’d turn Gay before entering into a relationship with him,

Now, why don’t you and Warrick, … … Jim Brass and Warrick have a word with Brittany, and if you have trouble trapping her in a lie, you should Quit with Ecklie here”

Warrick: “alright” leaves.

Ecklie: “you may have fooled them for now, but-”

Daria: “shut up”

Ecklie: looks like he’s going to do something violent then calms down “nice try-”

Daria: “Sh!” closes her eyes, looks like she’s meditating or something.

Ecklie: looks at her strangely, then gets up and leaves.

/

Scene: the casino, Brittany is at a roulette table, with Warrick and Jim questioning her as she places her bets.

/

Brittany: “that’s crazy, I mean, I Like Kevin, and Hate it when he cheats, but I wouldn’t Kill those he cheats with, that would just be wrong”

Warrick: “but you do get mad?”

Brittany: “yeah, but not physio, co, … I Don’t kill people from getting mad”

Roulette operator: “no more bets please” spins the wheel and releases the ball.

Jim: “so you didn’t take a bottle opener knife to Angies belly”

Brittany: “no”

Warricor aor a wood chisel to Nikki?”

Brittany: “but I thought- I mean, no”

Jim: “what?”

Brittanies chips are taken by the roulette operator.

Brittany: making another bet “well, someone said it was a carving knife ugh ugh the kidney”

Warrick: “right, well, I might have further questions for you later, you will stay within city limits, won’t you?”

Brittany: “yes”

Warrick: “Ma’am” walks off with Jim.

Jim: suddenly realizing something, comes back “oh, you do have to be over 18 to gamble-”

Brittany: produces a drivers license with her birth date on it.

Jim: “-and you’re 20, okay, that’s fine, have a nice day” leaves again.

Cut to: one of the hotels hallways, Jim and Warrick are walking through.

Jim: “so, we know she did it”

Warrick: “because we almost had her, right now, we got nothing”

Jim: “that ID’s as real as Pat Robertson’s world view”

Warrick: “yeah, that would be bust of the century, head cheerleader arrested for unlawful participation in games of chance, I say we hold out and see if we can get her for the murders”

Jim: “right, how goes it with the Decklers?”

Warrick: “well, let’s see, we checked out the previous occupants, and they eventually confessed”

Jim: “excellent”

Warrick: “they confessed to committing incest”

Jim: “ugh, movon, on, very, very quickly indeed”

Warrick: “we’re still on the Decklers, we checked the staff, none of them have any apparent motives, but had opportunity.

Sandi Griffin tried to lead us up the garden path, and now has Ecklie convinced that on top of a cheerleader hater, Daria’s also a white supremacist with a PHD in arson, and we haven’t a fucking clue which line to pursue”

Sara: coming up to them “Jim, Warrick, that piece of desk that survived? It had traces of various beauty products and a LOT of sulfuric acid”

Warrick: “on the desk, in plain sight? How could any of them miss that?”

Jim: “which of the hotels staff last had access to the Decklers room?”

/

Scene: the reception area of the custody suite, Daria is being released, Ecklie’s there.

/

Custody sergeant: “alright, Miss Morgendorffer, you’re free to go”

Daria: “thank you” starts to leave.

Ecklie: “Oh Miss Morgendorffer”

Daria: stops. Visibly annoyed “yesssssssssssssss?”

Ecklie: “I will prove your part in all of this”

Daria: rolls her eyes “right, officer Barbrady” leaves.

Ecklie: “that’s Ecklie” after Daria’s left “who’s officer Barbrady? Was she hallucinating?”

Custody sergeant: grits his teeth and rubs his temples.

/

Scene: the casino, Daria is at the blackjack table again, she has a growing pile of chips.

/

Sandi: approaches Daria from behind.

Daria: “I didn’t know fitting people for murder was the in thing to do this season”

Sandi: sits next to Daria “hello, Quinns cousin-”

Daria: “-or whatever” gestures for the dealer to hand her another card, she looks at them.

Sandi: “so, like, if as you say, you didn’t go Pyro in Tiffanies hotel room-”

Daria: shows her cards, dealer reciprocates, Daria’s closer to target value, she takes two thirds of the win and returns the cards, and restarts the game.

“Haven’t a clue who did, what about you, you must know something about Tiffany, I mean, you spend more time with her and have known her since when, … ?”

Sandi: “since elementary school”

Daria: “so what do you know about her?”

Sandi: “well, … … she, … … err, … … erphh” slumps in defeat, then “so, this is blackjack huh?”

/

Scene: a hotel room somewhere, we see a funnel with a tap in it on a test tube stand on the desk, the funnel hanging over the floor, there is a length of string attaches to the tap looped around the bed.

/

The string is pulled, we zoom in on the bottom of the funnel, follfollow a drop of a clear liquid to the carpet, after it soaks into the carpet, the spot where the drops keep hitting smokes, going brown, we eventually see a flame appear, but it dies.

The spot spreads slowly.

Dissolve to: later, the spot is 10cm wide, flames pop up around the perimeter, but die again.

Cut to: normal view, we see Gill and Warrick walk in, they look at the burn mark.

Dissolve to: later, this time we got a measuring cylinder with one side of its base taped to the desk, a length of string attached to it.

Cut to: a plan view, the string is pulled, the beaker topples over, a clear puddle spreads, spilling over the edge and soaking into the carpet next to the original burn mark.

The whole area goes dark, smokes, flashes over, it burns for a little bit, the fire spreads slowly, but then the sprinkler system comes on and stops everything.

We see Gill and Warrick enter again.

/

Scene: the lab, we see Gill and Warrick at a table, chins on palms, elbows on table staring at a tile of carpet half off a tile of underlay.

/

Gregory: enters, and joins them in staring at the carpet for 20 seconds before saying “this is exciting, you never know what’ll happen next”

Gill: “that’s just it, we know what happened, we just don’t know how”

Gregory: “you mean what accelerant was used?”

Gill and Warrick look at him like he’s got a second head growing out of his shoulder as we speak.

Gregory: looks at the ceiling in exasperation “tell me you’re kidding about not realizing that the mix is overloaded with fire retardants until I just mentioned it!”

Gill and Warrick: both leave.

/

Scene: a fresh hotel room, Gill, Sara and Warrick are standing around.

/

Warrick: “okay, so the carpet was soaked in Gasoline or something?”

Sara: “there’s nothing in any of their medical records about a bad sense of smell, plus the light switch isn’t airtight, the room would have exploded, but there’d be a gas shield in place long enough to shut down the fire, room would be almost pristine”

Grissom: “what about varnishes?”

Warrick: “those also reek”

Sara: “okay, we’re looking for a fuel source that is reasonably calorific, that goes hard but doesn’t emit any suspect odors, that is clear and commonly available”

They stand there for a while.

Grissom: “let’s go shopping”

/

Scene: the black jack table, Daria is still winning, Sandi has no visible pile.

/

They reveal their cards, Daria’s blackjack, Sandi’s bust, dealer’s in single figures.

Sandi: “damn it”

Daria: takes yet another two thirds.

Sandi: “Daria, you couldn’t loan me some chips could you?”

Daria: “learn to play”

Sandi: “ugh”

Stacy and Tiffany show up, the tips of Tiffanies hair is slightly lighter than normal.

Sandi: “TIFFANY, what have you done to your hair? That is so! … … ”

Daria: “cool, in, vogue”

Sandi: “GEEKY! God, what made you do that? I just, … I mean, … ”

Tiffany: “do whaaaaaat?”

Stacy: “the brown bits in your hair”

Tiffany: holds bits of her hair in front of her eyes “ohhhhhhh, thats weiiiiiiiiiird”

Stacy: “please don’t kick her out Sandi, she didn’t mean to, she’ll get that fixed, won’t you Tiffany”

Daria: “huh” stares at Tiffanies hair for a while.

Sandi: “Tiffany, the first thing you should do is get your hair dyed back to an appropriate colour-”

Daria: puts all her chips in a bucket and gets up, walking to Tiffany.

Sandi: “and then we’ll discuss weather or not you are still fashion club material”

Daria: grabs a couple of follicles and tastes the brown bit of one.

Tiffany: “owwwwwww”

Sandi: “like, Quinns cousin, or-”

Daria: “whatever, look, you seen any of the CSIs lately?”

Sandi: “ugh, come on Stacy, Tiffany”

Daria: walks off in search of Gill.

We see Ecklie follow her from a distance.

/

Scene: the corridor where Nikki was found (marked by a tape outline), we see Daria walk through.

/

Scene: the charred dto tto the Decklers room, we see all the crime scene tape on it.

/

Daria: knocks on the door “HELLOOOO!”

Ecklie: comes up behind her “so, returning to-”

Daria: “Ecklie, where’s Warrick?”

Ecklie: “never you mind Miss Morgendorrier, … morgenter, … ”

Daria: “just Daria, look-”

Gill: walks up to them “Ecklie, Daria, what’s going on?”

Ecklie: “I just caught miss-”

Daria: “you might want to take a look at this” shows him the hair follicle.

Gill: takes the follicle “is this yours?”

Daria: “no, it’s Tiffanies, her hair seems to have changed color at the ends, and given Sandi’s reaction to it, and Tiffanies propensity towards taking the initiative, I think it was ccidccident”

Gill: “an accident”

Ecklie: “yeah, so?”

Daria: “I once wrote and read out a story in English class, going out of my way as usual to freak everyone out.

I had the protagonist use Sodium Chlorate, cooking oil and an oven to assassinate a target, one of the things I read was that it bleaches color, … now, that fire, did it by any chance leave a ton of salt on the floor?”

Ecklie: “and how would you know about that?”

Daria: slowly, like Ecklie’s mentally 3 years of age “I’m guessing, I know about sodium chlorate, and was intrigued by Tiffanies bizarre hair style-”

Returning to normal speed “and if you need to grab the sample yourselves, you’d better hurry because Sandi is about to make sure she dyes her hair back to it’s original color”

Gill: bags the hair follicle “if this is a windup, weather or not we can get you for the arson-”

Daria: “yeah, I know, let’s go”

Gill: “Ecklie, watch her” leaves.

Daria: turns to the wall and nuts it, then turns to Ecklie “so, how’s kindergarteeatieating you?”

/

Scene: the interrogation room, Gill and Jim are interviewing Tiffany, her hair is still the same way.

/

Gill: “so, how did your hair get like that?”

Tiffany: ponders this, then says “saaaaaboooooootaaaaaaaage”

Jim: “by who?”

Tiffany: ponders this too, then says “IIIIIIII doooooooon’t knoooooooow”

Gill: “who would have opportunity to sabotage your hair?”

Tiffany: ponders this “myyyyyyyyyyy muuuuuuuuuuuum miiiiiiiiii be beeeeeeeeeeee Jeaaaaaaaaaaalouuuuuuuuuuuuusssss”

Jim: “jealous mother, huh?”

Gill: “when did you notice that your hair looked like that?”

Tiffany: “IIIII only notiiiiiiiiiced todaaaaaay”

Gill: “you’ve had a shower since you where moved to the Griffins room, right?”

Tiffany: “Duuuuuuh”

Jim: “your parents where dead before your hair got like that then”

Tiffany: ponders this new information.

We zoom in on her carotid artery briefly as it visibly pulses at 2Hz.

Cut to: Gill, who frowns.

Tiffany: “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah”

Gill: “so then who would have motive to bleach half of your hair that would still be alive then?”

Tiffany: “hmmmmmmmmmmm … … … … ”

Gill: “Tiffany?”

Tiffany: “IIIIIIIII’m thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing”

/

Scene: another hotel room, Warrick and Sara are spraying the carpet with hair spray.

/

Scene: the interrogationm agm again, just as we left it.

/

Gregory: enters bearing a printout “EVIDENCE, GET YOUR EVIDENCE RIGHT HERE, GOOD QUALITY EVIDENCE”

Gill: takes the print out “thank you” reads it.

Gregory: leaves.

Jim: “somebody had too much caffeine”

Gill: “and somebody has a strange choice in hair colorants”

Jim: “sodium chlorate?”

Tiffany: “saaaaaaaalt? Eeeeeewwwwwww”

Gill: “no, salt, it sodium chloride, which retards a fire, you got that in your hair too.

But the significant chemical is sodium chlorate, which is salt with an attached ozone molecule.

Used as a generic weedkiller, and can be used as an oxidizing agent for bathtub rocket propellants or even a high explosive, the question is, what is it doing in your hair?”

Tiffany: looks totally lost, blinks a couple of times “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”

/

Scene: the new room, another beaker has been set up and tied to a piece of string, music: “weapon of choice” by ‘fat boy slim’.

/

The string is pulled, the clear liquid spills onto the carpet.

Cut to: an overhead view of the carpet in front of the desk, it smoulders for half a second before the carpet starts to deflagrate.

The whole room and the next one catches fire, but the fire suppression system kicks in before anything more than surface charring occurs, the mattress and upholstery is toast, but the insides of the cushions are mostly intact.

We see Gill, Warrick and Sara enter with umbrellas held high.

Sara: “that’s more like it, but the fire suppression system halted any further damage”

Warrick: “we didn’t see any obvious signs of tampering on the fire suppression system”

Gill: “then it’s time we looked at the less obvious signs of tampering”

/

Scene: the lab, Gill, Sara and Warrick are going through the bags of debris recovered from the Decklers room.

/

Gill: “so, an arsonist wants to sabotage a fire suppression system without leaving any evidence, what does he or she do?”

Sara: “statistically it’s men who use arson”

Warrick: “and from what I’ve seen of Tiffany, I have real trouble believing she could do something this sophisticated”

Gill: “we’ll work on the how now, see if it can give us a clue for who”

Warrick: “right”

Gill: “okay, hotel’s fire suppression system uses a glass vial of alcohol to hold the plug in the orifice through which thter ter flows”

We cut to a section through the spray head as Gill has described it.

Gill: continuing “the vial bursts from the expansion of the alcohol when ambient temperature excee cri critical point, allowing the plug to leave the orifice”

We see the vial burst as described, and the water run through the spray head.

Warrick: “unless someone somehow obstructs the plug another way, like with resin”

We see the system reset, a load of clear resin appears on the spray head under the plug, the vial bursts, but the plug remains in place.

Sara: “the resin burns off later once the room is crispy enough”

We see the resin burn off and the plug is allowed to fall away.

Cut to: a normal view of the lab with the three of them standing there, Gill is holding a bag containing one of the spray heads.

Gill: “but that would leave traces of resin on the spray head, visible traces, once the obstruction fails, the water would eat too much heat to allow combustion to continue, also, not much oxygen up there”

Sara: “okay, what else?”

Warrick: “how about something around the spray head?”

Gill: “someone would notice, if not the guests, the cleaning crew”

Sara: “that’s nuarauaranteed”

Gill: “our arsonist wants to eliminate any trace of tampering”

Warrick: “isn’t that an assumption?”

Gill: “I think we’re beyond the point where we think this could have been an accident.

The amount of tampering needed to get the room a fifth of how crispy the Decklers room was is significant, and we’re certain the fire suppression system was turned on the whole time, we have surveillance footage of the taps”

Sara: picking up one of the bags “huh, how about that?”

Gill and Warrick: look to her.

Gill: “what you got?”

Sara: opens the bag and picks out a very charred piece of … something with a hole in it “give me that spray head would you?”

Gill: hands her the spray head.

Sara: fits the spray head against the charred lump “it fits, if that’s clear resin, and moulded into a capped cone, it might be mistaken by most people for a part of the spray head”

Gill: “now we’re getting somewhere, how did it not leave a visible trace?”

Sara: gets a needle and scrapes at it “there’s a layer of foil on the impression of the spray head, kept the resin from leaving a trace on the spray head”

Gill: “what held it in place?”

Sara: empties the contents of the bag onto a tray and sifts through, she finds two pieces of wire with two ends twisted together and two ends melted “hmm”

Warrick: “how long would that fire have had to have been going for?”

Sara: “not long enough to have eliminated all the tool marks on the ends of this piece of wire”

Gill: “you would still have wanted the wire to be cut eventually, but not too soon”

Warrick: “excuse me, I have to check on something” leaves.

/

Scene: the interview room, Jim and Sara are interviewing Stacy, who is looking seriously nervy.

/

Stacy: “I swear, I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong”

Jim: as Sara signals for him not to proceed “who said you did anything wrong?”

Stacy: “what? Look, whatever I did, I won’t do it again, I swear, please-”

Sara: “we don’t suspect you of anything, but you might be able to help us with our inquires, you have met Tiffanies parents, right?”

Stacy: “yes I have, sometimes Tiffany hosts a fashion club meeting, and her mother brings drinks, but I haven’t seen much of her farther, I’ve missed something important, haven’t I? I’m sorry about-”

Sara: “STACY, STOP GROVVELING!”

Stacy: cringing “sorry”

Sara: sighs “look, right now, we’re trying to figure out who had a problem with Tiffanies parents, okay?”

Stacy: “okay, well, there’s Janet Barch our science teacher, keeps ranting about how sexist Tiffanies dad is, but aside from that, I can’t think of anything”

Sara: “Janet Barch, right, thank you, I need to look into that now, if you think of ANYTHING else later, be sure to contact me or any other officer”

Stacy: looking a little relieved “okay”

Sara: “look, you did good just now, just, … get some self esteem or something, okay?”

Stacy: “okay”

Sara: “right, I might need to talk to you again, you can go now”

Stacy: “right” leaves.

/

Scene: yet another hotel room, Daria and Jane are sitting there, watching something on TV.

/

There’s a knock on the door.

Daria: answers it, finding it’s Quinn.

Quinn: “DARIA, WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO THE FUCKING COPS?”

Daria: “that Tiffanies Hair might be evidence”

Quinn: “EVIDENCE OF WHAT?”

Daria: “Quinn, somehow her hair got bleached starting halfway along their length.

The only way for that to happen I can think of would be if her hair got coated in a bleaching agent while it was laminated with hairspray.

And when she was washing her hair, the stuff started to enter the follicles after the adhesive started to mix with the bleaching agent”

Quinn: looks at Daria for about a minute then says “what???”

Daria: winces “her hairspray stopped the bleaching agent from entering her hair follicles until she took a shower and the stuff entered the follicles starting halfway along her hair length.

And that’s about as simple as I can make this-”

Quinn: waves her to stop “no, I got it now, but what does this have to do with the arson?”

Daria: “Sodium chlorate has the effect of bleaching color, it’s not used for that normally, it is also an oxidizer, meaning it produces oxygen when heated, are you with me so far?”

Quinn: “yes, I think so”

Daria: “right, now, for the stuff to have gotten into Tiffanies hair, she would have to have either been spraying the stuff or around when someone was spraying the stuff, or she was handling the stuff and she dried her hands in her hair or run her hands through her hair without washing her hands after handling the stuff”

Jane: “hey, if the stuff was being sprayed, the carpet would have gotten a little uncomfortable, from the crystals, right?”

Daria: “right”

Jane: “see? I know science too”

Daria: “it would also have irritated their feet, did Tiffany complain about skin irritation on her feet?”

Quinn: “no”

Daria: “then the stuff would have had to have been injected into the underlay”

Jane: “hang on, how would you stop it from entering the carpet from the underlay?”

Daria: “you’d, … I’m not really sure actually, I’d guess you just make sure you inject the stuff really slowly so that it stays in the underlay, it would require multiple injection sites, but they’re usually easy enough to disguise”

Jane: “maybe we should do some experiments”

Daria: “I’d rather we left it to the cops, and hope they do it, I wasn’t exactly comfortable telling them about Tiffanies hair, since this chemistry shit is specialist knowledge.

The probability of two people knowing this stuff occurring in the same area outside of a laboratory is low enough to put me in the frame, I’m still not totally convinced I’m in the clear yet”

Quinn: “well, they are holding onto Tiffany, but, … how could she be capable of something like this? I mean, Tiffany, … she doesn’t have the smarts to put together a Macedonia cocktail”

Daria: “that’s a molotov cocktail, and I would have agreed with you, but I do have the problem of not knowing of any other way that her hair got that way”

Quinn: “well, … in all the time I’ve known Tiffany, she’s been slower than, … something that’s really slow”

Daria: “hey Jane, what do you know of Tiffany?”

Jane: shrugs “transferred in from somewhere in elementary school, slow dictation that has gotten even slower since then, never felt any cause to investigate any deeper”

Quinn: “I bet Sandi would know something”

Daria: “I bet she’d give us too much shit to make any conversation with her worthwhile, ‘sides, I already had a chance to talk to her and she doesn’t seem to know anything”

Jane: “bet she’d be more co-operative if the person talking to her could credibly threaten her with jail time”

Daria: “right, but someone who isn’t me can suggest it to the cops this time”

Quinn: “I’ll do it, … chicken” leaves.

Daria: closes the door.

/

Scene: the lifts on Darias floor.

/

We see Quinn get in one, no one else is visible.

The doors close and the lift descends.

/

Scene: the reception area lifts.

/

We see the doors open and flames erupt from the lift car, causing many people to scream out in alarm.

A person staggers out on fire.

Reception staff approach with fire extinguishers and extinguish the flames on the person, then they pick her up and move her to somewhere safe.

Dissolve to: later, the lift fire has been extinguished, firefighters are packing up their gear walking off.

Gill and Sara: walk to the lift with their gear.

Cut to: a piece of glass in the lift.

We see a gloved hand pick it up.

/

Scene: outside the hotel entrance, we see Ecklie and an officer leading Daria off in cuffs to a car that already has Jane in it.

/

Scene: an access door to the lift machinery on the roof.

/

We see Brittany emerge and head around to the roof access door.

She opens the roof access door to encounter Warrick and some cops.

Warrick: “hi, did you by any chance notice an arsonist hanging around the lift machinery just now when an innocent young girl was unjustifiably incinerated?”

Brittany: “errm, yeah, I believe that Daria girl was hanging around here just now”

Warrick: “oh really? So if I where to run a swab of your palms through a Radio spectrometer, I won’t find traces of gasoline OR anything that could be used to auto-ignite a Molotov cocktail?”

Brittany: tilts her head in thought, twirling one of her pigtails around her fingers “hmmmm” she then turns and runs off the roof, and shouts “I THOUGHT THE POOL WAS ON THIS SIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-”

She is interrupted bloudloud crunch followed by a car alarm.

Warrick: “dammit”

/

Scene: the custody suite, Ecklie and Warrick are in an argument as Daria stands there with her usual ‘bored with this shit’ look.

/

Ecklie: “but she didn’t actually confess to all those murders, did she?”

Warrick: “she had traces of sodium chlorate on her hands, Kevin had cheated on her with every one of her victims”

Daria: “except Quinn, who is all show and no action, and Quinn was either targeted because of Kevins bullshit or Brittanies paranoia”

Ecklie: “Quiet, you’re still a suspect”

Daria: to Warrick “his parents will be round soon to pick him up, right?”

Warrick: massages his temples in irritation.

/

Scene: the burnt out room, Sara is looking at the bare concrete floor, under the locations of the fire suppression spray heads (capped off with red plastic plugs) are craters.

/

Sara retrieves a camera, a hammer, a chisel and one of those evidence scaling rulers from her case and goes to one, she photos it and then chisels and bags it.

/

Scene: the lab, Gill, Sara, Ecklie and Gregory are there, Gregory is holding a report and one of the bits of charred plastic, Ecklie is holding one of the bits of chiseled concrete.

/

Gregory: “so, magnesium oxide, aluminium oxide, salt and iron suggests, … ”

Warrick: “flash powder and thermite”

Cut to: a cross section of the spray head.

Sara: “the arsonist installs the fire suppression suppression system”

We see cle clear plastic shapes close over the head, the wire wrap around it, and twist it’s ends.

Sara: “fire starts, incinerates the room”

The scene fills with flame, the plastic ignites.

Cut to: a cross section of one of the bits of plastic revealing a steel tube filled with a grayish material.

Sara: “a tube filled with thermite capped with flash powder cooks off until the flash powder ignites-”

The part next to the alcohol vial sparks.

Sara: “-igniting the thermite-”

The rest of the tube ignites.

Sara: “-melting through the wire, releasing the blocks, and allowine fie fire suppression system to look unhindered”

The events she described happen.

Ecklie: “how’d the arsonist ensure all the sprays came on line simultaneously”

Warrick: “why would you need to? The plastic’s burning, the individual heads cook off in their own time unhindered by their neighbors”

Cut to: the lab.

Jim: enters “have I got news for you”

/

Scene: the interview room, Jim and Ecklie are interviewing Tiffany.

/

Jim: “so, don’t know the difference between a chloride and a chlorate eh?”

Tiffany: looks at them blankly.

Jim: “strange, because according to your math and science teachers, your actually abilities are well beyond what a high school diploma says, yet your exam results suck, so, why play the idiot all this time?”

Still nothing.

Ecklie: “okay, how about this then: we found, in your hand bag, traces of powdered aluminium, and haematite”

Tiffany: visibly startles.

Jim: “whoa, last time, it was just your carotid artery twitching, now, there is no other way you can end up with those materials in your handbag unless you where preparing thermite.

Which was used to sever the wire holding the only sure evidence of arson in place, so, a motive can only help you, if you’d like to vent your rage at your parents”

/

Scene: the custody suite, Daria JaneJane are putting their wallets, keys’ etc. in their pockets, music: “Dare to be stupid” by ‘Weird Al’.

/

We hear gunshots, and the alarm goes off.

Custody sergeant: draws “wait here” goes to the door.

Tiffany appears in the doorway with clips stuffed in her bra cups and shoots the sergeant in the face, spraying Daria and Jane with blood and bits of brain stem, Tiffany clears the room, grabs more clips from the sergeant, and moves on.

Daria: “umm”

Jane: “did that, … did, … was that, … ?”

Daria: “stay here” grabs the sergeants sidearm, checking the clip and the chambered round, she then heads out.

Jane: follows.

/

Scene: the hallway, Daria is heading the way she saw Tiffany go.

/

Jane: enters the hallway “Daria, wait, you can’t do this”

Daria: “Jane, Tiffany’s gone Columbine on us”

Jane: “and SWAT will … swat her, just don’t get involved”

We hear gunfire up ahead, Daria breaks to a run.

We pan around her as she rounds a corner in time to see Tiffany shooting around another corner ahead until the slider locks over an empty clip, Daria gets a solution on Tiffanies head as she pulls back, ejecting the empty clip with a hard shake.

She notices Daria as she’s about to load the next clip, she then shrugs and slides it home continuing to watch Daria out of the corner of her.
.

We see a cop appear behind Tiffany, raising his gun to get a solution on Tiffanies face.

Tiffany: fast as you can blink, unlocks the slider as she aims at the cop, and kills him, then popping around the corner and unloading four more shots.

We hear cops shouting “FALL BACK! FALL BACK!”

Tiffany: looks at Daria again with an impish grin, and moves on.

Daria: slowly lowers the weapon and leans back against the wall.

Jane: “you okay Daria?”

Daria: doesn’t answer, tapping her head against the wall.

Jane: “Daria?”

Daria: “I have to stop her, you saw what she did, I gotta waste her, I can do this, I can do it”

Tiffany: comes back through.

Daria aims at her head, tracking her target as it moves past her and into the supply room of the crime lab.

Jane: stares at Daria for a while “ooooooookay then”

Tiffany: emerges from the supply room with a trolley loaded with three giant glass bottles filled 2/3 the way up with clear liquids, 2 of which have pellets bubbling away inside them, producing a LOT of white smoke that spills downwards and dissipates.

There are several 1L measuring tubes, a sack of ammonium perchlorate, and many bags of sugar.

Daria tracks her head again as she rolls the trolley along the corridor.

Jane: gesticulates as she says “well?”

Daria: drops her gun arm and nuts the wall a little more aggressively, then goes after Tiffany.

Jane: waits a few seconds, then follows.

Cut to: the front door where Tiffany has the three Jars on the floor next to the trolley, the ones that have the smoke coming out are covered in droops of condensed water.

She pours one into the one without the smoke, and then pours the other one back, she does this repeatedly as Daria emerges and walks up to her, aiming the gun at her head.

Tiffany is eventually satisfied with the intermix of the intermix, she replaces the lids and shloshes the liquids around, occasionally opening the lids to let out the smoke, and then places them against the front door which is apparently locked.

She then opens them both and introduces the third liquid to the two bottles, and she grabs the trolley and rolls it back around the corner with Daria following her.

Once the trolley is around the corner, Tiffany grabs Daria and moves her to a safe location.

Cut to: just around the corner, Jane has caught up with them, Daria is still pointing the gun at Tiffany who is now mixing ammonium perchlorate and sugar in the measuring tubes, occasionally glancing at her watch.

Eventually she has filled them all, capping them off with masking tape, shaking them up.

Daria: gives up (just after the nick of time has been dead a year) and walks off.

Jane: “soo, Tiffany, how exactly do you intend to get away with this?”

Tiffany: “any way I can” produces a backpack and places the measuring tubes in it, she then glances at her watch “right, fire in the hole” covers her ears, crouching and hugging the wall.

Jane: “what?”

Cut to: outside the police station, we see the front door deform and leave its hinges as the bottles explode.

Cut to: the hallway again, we see the flash, Jane is thrown back by the blast overpressure, and we hear the bang.

Tiffany: looks back “you okay Jane?”

Jane: “WHAT? CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE BELLS, THEY’RE RINGING”

Tiffany: nods, then produces a measuring tube with a chefs blowtorch, she sparks the mixture, it billows thick white smoke, she rolls it down the corridor.

She then picks up her gun and advances.

/

Scene: the interview room, Jim and Ecklie are there not doing much more than bleed through gunshot wounds on their shoulders and legs.

/

Daria: walks in, dumping the clip from her gun, she then cocks and locks it with one hand and pulls the takedown pin out, unlocking the weapon, the slider falls off, she drops the weapon.

Jim: “you alright?”

Daria: “huh? Oh, fine, just fine, … I pointed a gun at Tiffany for a while, but didn’t fire a shot, and now more cops are dead, would you like me to get you a first aid kit?”

Jim: “that would be nice, thanks”

Daria: “where are they?”

Jim: getting to his feet, with Daria coming to assist “through there” pointing out the door.

They leave Ecklie where he is.

/

Scene: the bar, Sandi and Stacy are sitting there with colas, the TV on a local news channel, the newsreader is interviewing Jim.

/

News reporter: “so, the fugitive is where?”

Jim: “we found an open manhole cover when the smoke cleared, SWAT and the dog squad are searching for her now, if anyone sees her, report but DO NOT APPROACH, she will shoot you to avoid capture”

We tune out his voice.

Sandi: “god, we had a psycho in our club the whole time, I feel so used”

Stacy: “well, at least she was a pretty psycho who upheld the standards of fashion for the duration of her service, and maybe she had a really good reason to do this”

Sandi: “she was also a brain, how did she slip past us so effectively?”

Daria and Jane: come up be her her.

Daria: “she chose the perfect cover that allowed her to avoid revealing too much about herself in conversation” to the bartender “double vodka please?”

Bartender: gets a glass and pours it.

Sandi: “just what we need, more brains”

Stacy: “Sandi-”

Sandi: “I suppose this is what you’ve always wanted, one of us dead, the other subverted-”

Stacy: “SANDI!”

Sandi: “Stacy please, let me handle this”

Daria: “yes Stacy, be a good little bitch, until you finally snap, just like Tiffany” pays for her drink and takes a sip.

Sandi: gasps in shock and stares at Daria trying to formulate a response, then she just leaves.

Jane: “you think she believes she’s responsible for Tiffany going nuts?”

Daria: “for now, one of us should follow her in a few minutes, make sure she doesn’t try to kill herself, you alright Stacy?”

Stacy: “err, … Daria?”

Daria: “yeah?”

Stacy: “ … you saw Tiffany before she escaped, right?”

Daria: sighs “yes”

Stacy: “did she say what drove her to, … well, … was it, … ”

Daria: “right now, there’s not a lot I do know about Tiffany, only that she’s way smarter than I am, she can read people so well, she knew I wasn’t going to be able to shoot her, I don’t think she’s classically nuts.

What I would like to know is why she felt the need to pretend to be thick as two planks all this time?”

Stacy: “well, … no clue, no clue what so ever, she incinerated her parents for some reason, Barch ranted about them often enough, but I am not certain what’s going on with her”

Daria: “I doubt the cops would tell us, even if they actually knew”

Stacy: “and how is it these guys never ask you for proof of age?”

Daria: “ahh, the joys of minging” takes another sip.

/

Scene: the AV room, Warrick, Gill and Sara are watching the tape of the last interview with Tiffany.

/

Ecklie: “okay, how about this then: we found, in your hand bag, traces of powdered aluminium, and haematite”

Tiffany: visibly startles.

Jim: “whoa, last time, it was just your carotid artery twitching, now, there is no other way you can end up with those materials in your handbag unless youre pre preparing thermite.

Which was used to sever the wire holding the only sure evidence of arson in place, so, a motive can only help you, if you’d like to vent your rage at your parents”

Tiffany: unusually fast, more like Jane only slightly higher in frequency “sure, why not, okay, err, my dad saw me acting like a tomboy and took me to all these doctors until he found one that didn’t dismiss him as a sexist twat.

Then he and the doctor tried to convince me that it was my interest to become a retarded trophy wife, even arranging some sort of advanced lobotomy I found out about when I hacked Dr Glacers files.

All of which you would find out for yourself if you ask the federal bureau of investigation who are investigating him for something I made up and stuck in their files.

I wish I could be certain that reporting this situation to the police could have guaranteed my survival, because I wouldn’t have had to commit the offence you can now prove against me.

AND, I wouldn’t have to shoot my way out of this police station injuring and in some cases, killing officers of the law” rolls over the table, pulling Jims sidearm, she shoots out Ecklies and Jims right shoulders and left thighs.

She takes Jims clips “sorry” and leaves the room.

They then change the tape and we see a four-screen compilation of the back areas of the police station including the custody area where Daria and Jane are being released.

We see the other officers approaching with their weapons drawn as Tiffany leaves the interview room, Tiffany shoots every officer that enters her view.

We see Tiffany shooting the custody sergeant, the blood and bits of brain landing on Daria and Jane, the rest of it playing out like before.

Sara: “lies, damned lies, and statistics”

Gill: “Tiffany knew right off that Daria wasn’t a threat to her”

Warrick: “one hell of a gamble”

They get to the bit where Tiffany’s moving the chemicals to the front door.

Sara: “except for the bit where she assembles 8 Litres of bathtub nitro, she knew exactly when that was going off”

Gill: “well, the FBI confirmed her story, and I suppose if her parents where going just find someone else to do the procedure, it would also make sense for her to waste them”

Warrick: “and she would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for us meddling CSIs, … that is, if you don’t count for the fact she DID get away with it”

We see the bit where the Nitro detonates, Tiffany checking on Jane before starting to lay down her smoke.

/

Scene: the crime lab car park, we see Sara walking towards her car.

/

She gets in and starts the engine and drives off.

As she’s driving down a road, we see Tiffany pop up in the back seat with an M4, pointing at Saras head.

Sara: looks alarmed “T-Tiffany?”

Tiffany: “Hey Sara, you mind driving north until you run out of gas? I’ll not kill you if you do”

Sara: “er, … okay, … yeah”

Tiffany: “aww thanks, Sara, you’re a real star, … that is you’re brilliant, not really, really fat, just brilliant, just so we’re clear on that”

Sara: just nods weakly.

/

Scene: Darias hotel room, she’s on the phone as she’s packing her bags.

/

Daria: “yeah, I know, but I really need to get out of here now, I’ve really had it up to here with this fucking city, … … yes, I fucking swore, that’s how tired I am.

I got arrested a bunch of times, saw Quinn’s charred body being carted off to hospital in the faint hope that having 99% of her skin and lung tissue burned off isn’t a fatal injury.

Then Tiffany shot up the precinct as I was being released, … … yeah, … probably be better if I hang up actually, kinda low on cash here” Jane has trouble not laughing her ass off at this “okay, bye” hangs up.

Jane: “how’d you do that without laughing?”

Daria: “I got arrested a bunch of times, was involved in a shootout, and saw my sister burned to death, kinda eliminated my sense of humor”

Jane: “right”

/

Scene: a deserted road in northern Nevada, we SaraSara’s car, with Sara (in Tiffanies dress), Gill, Warrick, and some cops standing around.

/

Sara: finishing a statement “and then she left me there with my hands tied behind the seat, thankfully the first people that showed up where not jack the ripper wannabes”

Warrick: “so, should we alert the Canadians or the Mexicans?”

Gill: “I’d Say alert everyone, starting with all the airports, her first priority is likely to be to get out of the country, probably in a luggage compartment like Kendra off of Buffy”

/

Scene: an airforce scrap yard, we see Tiffany in Saras clothes on a Harley she probably stole head towards it.

/

Scene: the last one, the others are giving Gill funny looks.

/

Gill: “what? What’s wrong with watching Buffy?”

/

Scene: the flight back to Lawndale, Daria, Jane, Sandi and Stacy are sat together, all looking Quiet.

/

Sandi: “so, … … you really couldn’t shoot Tiffany?”

Daria: “that’s right, Daria 5 figure body count on time crisis II Morgendorffer, couldn’t shoot a real person”

Jane: “just think, we now have proof that shoot ‘em up games really doesn’t make killers”

Daria: “nope, just jealousy and, … whatever Tiffanies deal was”

Sandi: “Of all the people to be afraid of, I should have been afraid of Tiffany”

Daria: “I doubt it”

Sandi: “why?”

Daria: “I was the one who brought her hair to the attention of the police, I led her directly to the spectre of jail time, and she let me live, you wouldn’t have registered.

Think about it, all she did in the fashion club was agree with you and deter conversation by speaking real slow and faking industry grade ignorance, you where part of her camouflage.

Trust me, you where not a threat she would have reacted to”

Sandi: “no importance, … I was of no importance” starts crying.

Daria and Jane: look at each other.

Stacy: soothingly “hey, come on Sandi, it’s not the end of the world or anything, you’re still important to me”

Sandi: blubbering “thank you Stacy”

Jane: “so, what d’you think Tiffany’s up to?”

Daria: “a crash course in Spanish, I doubt we’re ever going to see her again”

We zoom out through the aircraft, and see another aircraft behind it.

It’s about the size of a Cessna except it has a front section looking something like a half assed attempt to imitate an SR71s nose.

It has a split tail with off vertical rudders and the wings look like they where stolen off of a Starfighter, and is powered by what looks like a Macgyvered pulsejet.

We zoom in on the little plane, and see Tiffany at the controls, she has a flight suit and an airforce helmet, probably from a surplus store.

/

End music: “Enter The Sandman” by Metallica.
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Queen of the machines