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Aventure Amoureuse	By : Baron Category: +M through R > Miraculous LadyBug Views: 5012 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction for adults. Miraculous Ladybug and its characters are not mine, and are the property of ZAG-inc. I make no profit from this and all characters are 18+.

Chapter List
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"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for too long into an aybss, the abyss gazes also into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
You sit in complete darkness in a pile of musty human bones. Fucking Mondays. All you had to do was listen to Adrien and stay home, but trouble seemed to have a habit of finding you no matter where you laid your head at night. All your weapons we're in Adrien's room either under his bed in your duffel bag, or in the pockets of your leather jacket hanging on his coatrack. You didn't need them down here anyway. All you had in your possession was a wet and unusable cellphone, a pack of Coffin Nails, and a Zippo lighter. Even if your phone worked, you probably wouldn't be able to get any reception down here anyway. Adrien was already furious with you as it is, but now he was going to think that you've left him. Who knows what sort of lies Felix was feeding him right now. You might as well face it: Your relationship was over, and you were going to die in this terrible place. For a moment you consider taking off your engagement ring and chucking it into the darkness, you don't need it anymore. You decide to leave it on. It's comforting, and reminds you of the way things used to be. Back when Adrien still loved you. Your relationship with him was passionate and brief. He rocked your world for a week, and you lost him in a day. You rub your skull ring wishing that you were still safe and warm in his arms. It was cold and wet down here and you didn't have a jacket. At least you don't have to worry about getting sick, you'll probably starve to death long before you get the sniffles. You have nothing left to lose. Adrien's gone and your life is running out of time. Unlike your flight at the airport, Adrien wasn't coming to save you this time. Felix was right: This is your new home... your tomb. No one lives forever, your home country taught you that harsh lesson years ago. You expected your life to end someday, but Adrien gave you hope that it would end on a high note. This ending seemed more like a fart in a closet. It wouldn't have been so bad if you'd at least got to give him one last loving kiss before you ended up down here. You technically did kiss him goodbye, but he was so angry at you that it lacked the magic your fiance's kiss usually radiated with. He could take your breath away with a glint in his eye. You were addicted to his love like a powerful drug. You would have killed for one final fix before your story came to a close. It might have given you the will to fight on. You consider just laying down in the bones and accepting your fate. You'd be joining them soon. They were your new neighbors, you might as well be polite. Bring them a casserole and a bottle of table wine. This place sucks to put it mildly. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MONTRESSOR!!!" you shout at the top of your lungs as you hear your echo bounce off the empty walls of the filthy catacombs. You missed Adrien. He was a smart guy, and probably would have found that funny. You were also fresh out of Amontillado.
You light up a cigarette. Your pack was a little soggy, but your ciggs were still smokeable. "Friends to the end, eh guys?" you chuckle thinking yourself mad for talking to your cigarette pack. The soft orange glow of your cigarette allows for some light. Your Zippo was pretty full as well. You stand up out of the jagged pile of dry bones and walk around your final resting place. This must be what it's like to be a vampire. An eternity of this would suck balls. Why were vampires so popular again? You take the time to read some of the graffiti along the walls of the catacombs. "Décès, Abandonner tout espoir, and Tu es foutu were written throughout the halls as you walk through the labyrinth. It's times like these that you REALLY wished that you could read French. You continue walking through the catacombs guided by the familiar glow of your cigarette as you snort loudly and play with your broken nose occasionally spitting out the blood that ran down the back of your throat. Your head started to hurt. The pain drops you to one knee. "Took you long enough." a voice pounds in your skull. "Aru? You ask aloud as if someone could actually hear you down here. "Correct, mortal. You win the boobie prize!" the kwami growls at you inside your head. "That's cool, I like titties anyway and I'm pretty sure I'm single." you say as you smoke your cigarette making the glow larger as you inhale. "I'm not exactly dealing with a scholar, am I?" the frustrated kwami asks you. "Sure, if scholar means GED. I don't know your fancy French words." you shrug as you continue walking and sticking out your tonge at the grinning skulls that line the hallway. "Have I made a mistake in choosing you as my master?" Aru asks you. "Me? Your master? Probably! I'm kinda dumb, violent, irresponsible, think about sex constantly, and I drink and do drugs. I'm pretty sure you're looking for someone a lot less wild than me, pal." you chuckle at the thought remembering your experience with Ziggy. "Oh, no. Your resume seems very fun! Exciting!" Aru barks happily. "I suppose it is pretty fun. I get to fuck shit up all the time, drop bombs on gorillas, fuck a lot of cute college students, drink various different alcohols, do all kinds of magical drugs, and crack dirty jokes with other sarcastic assholes. I guess I did lead a pretty cool life, I feel fulfilled. I would have liked to have one last kiss with Adrien though... maybe a quickie." you grin with a shrug as you take a drag of your cigarette. "Ah, yes! That does seem like fun! Do you enjoy... meat?" Aru asks expectantly "Meat? Fuckin'-A right I do! My fiance wants me to cut back a little bit though. I think he's concerned about my health and doesn't want me getting all chubby." you explain as you poke one of the skulls in the eyes when you walk past it and make Three Stooges noises. "Your fiance wants you to eat less meat? Devour them, you fool!" Aru growls at you. "I was planning to before their asshole cousin dropped me down here! You should see it, it's cute. Like a sausage link." you giggle as you fantasize about Adrien's naughty bits. "Wait... what? That's not what I meant by devour!" Aru argues. "That's certainly what I meant. You wanna see me unhinge my jaw? It's gross, but like really cool!" you giggle as you pop your jaw out of the socket. "I can't see you from here. You're awake. I can only see you when you're sleeping like Father Christmas or a peeping Tom, unless you're actually in my line of sight." Aru explains. "Ew, that's creepy! So you can't see it when I do this?" you chuckle as you pop your jaw back in. "What are you doing? What's that slapping sound? Are you clapping your hands or something?" Aru asks curiously. "I'm clapping something. I'll leave it to your imagination to try to guess what it is." you cackle at the kwami and smoke your cigarette. "Ugh. That's disgusting! I don't even want to know what it is. The point is, that I can't see you. I can sense you, but you'll have to find me if you want to use my power and leave this smelly place." Aru growls in explanation. "Sure, no problem. That catacombs can't be all that big, can they? Why are you laughing? What's funny?" you ask as the kwami laughs hysterically at you. "Les catacombes de Paris are 30 meters deep. It's as though you took a five-story building and flipped it upside down! You could be trapped here forever if you don't find me! Or... until you starve to death. Whichever comes first." the kwami explains with a barking chuckle.
"I don't know what YOU find so funny. If I die down here, you're trapped even longer. My suggestion is that we remedy this somehow. You need me just as much as I need you the way I see it." you explain to the laughing kwami. "And how do you suppose we do that, scholar?" Aru growls in response. "You mentioned that you could sense me, right? You only speak to me at home in my dreams, not in my head. That means you have a range. You can't sense me if I'm too far away. If I can hear you in my head, that means I'm fairly close to you." you explain to Aru. "So? What's your point? And stop clapping your buttocks together! I hate that sound!" Aru snarls at you. "So... my point is we're going to play a little game. Also, you guessed right! Good for you." you say with a chuckle as you pull your pants back up. "God, you're horrible. What sort of game, mortal?" Aru asks you. "It's called hot and cold. The more intense that you can sense me, say hot! If you start to feel my presence fade, then say cold! Do you understand?" you explain to Aru. "Ah! I know that game! We used to call it hunt the thimble in my day. Maybe you're smarter than I first assumed." Aru explains. "Then we'll be each other's thimbles then! You can obviously sense me now, how strong does my presence feel?" you ask as you stop and smoke your cigarette. "Weak. You're far away from me." Aru says. "Was I stronger or weaker when you first spoke to me?" you ask as you lean on one of the skulls. "Stronger. You're walking away from me." Aru growls. "Then I'll turn around. Let me know if I start to fade again. When I fade, I'm going the wrong way." you say to the kwami. "Very well, human. You think quickly on your feet." Aru barks. "Yeah, it's one of the few things I'm good at. I can also open a piece of candy without using my hands too. My fiance appreciates that skill." you say as you flap your tongue. "Heh. I can sense love in your voice when you talk about him. I haven't sensed love in over a century." Aru whimpers. "Poor doggy. Don't worry, I'll find you. We'll get out of this mess together! By the way, are you blind or something? Why can't you see me?" you ask the sad kwami. "I'm not a doggy, you fool! I'm a wolf! Also: No, I'm not blind. I'm trapped in my box." Aru explains. "Holy shit! Women can do that? I had no idea! My friend Luka can blow himself, but I had no clue that women were flexible enough to reach. Wait, you're trapped in there? That's kinda gross, isn't it?" you say as you try to figure out how Aru stuffed herself up there. "I'm a male, you moron! I meant my Miraculous box, not... oh nevermind." Aru sighs in frustration and disgust. "Ok, ok! Relax! I just heard you say your box and my mind wandered for a second. So I'm looking for a little black hexagonal box... in the dark. Great. Awesome." you grumble as you finish your cigarette and light another one.
You wander through the catacombs for hours, possibly days. You've lost all track of time walking through the catacombs and you were running low on cigarettes. "You're cold again. Try a different corridor." Aru tells you for what seemed like the millionth time. "Fucking hell, Aru!" you say as you finish yet another cigarette and gag from mild nicotine poisoning. You light your Zippo attempting to conserve your cigarettes and give your lungs a break. The air was thick and damp anyway, they needed all the help they could get. You walk through a corridor that has the word "Enfer" written in old nasty blood. "Enfer? Fucking French words! I can't read anything down here!" you say in a worried frustration. "Enfer means Hell in French. Whatever corridor you just took is the correct one. I can feel you really strong now!" Aru says sounding extremely relieved. You continue walking down the noxious corridor. Nothing had been down here for centuries. You were somewhere deep below the catacombs. "There's only one way to go, Aru. It's a straight shot. By the way, what does salles de la mort mean?" you ask Aru curiously as you look at a French phrase splattered on the wall in ancient brown blood. "Salles de la mort? Um... that means: Good luck happy place in French!" Aru chuckles nervously. "Why don't I believe you, Aru?" you say as you step on a loose brick and nearly get decapitated by a large blade that drops from the ceiling. "Good luck happy place, huh?" you grumble as you walk around the blade. "You're VERY close now! I can practically hear you!" Aru barks happily. You continue walking through the dangerous corridor and nearly get shot by poison darts and have to dive on the ground to avoid them. "I'm going to get killed down here, Aru!" you say as you continue walking. "No, don't do that! If you die or lose a limb, I can't fix that. I do have the power to heal you if you wear my Miraculous! I can heal minor wounds like punctures and broken bones!" Aru explains sounding worried that you might fail during the last leg of your journey. "I'm doing the best that I can! I'm not exactly a cardio person!" you argue defensively as you step on a block and impale your leg on several spikes. "I heard you scream! You're close! Did something happen?" Aru asks in a panicked whimper. "I fucked up, Aru. It might take me longer to get there!" you say with a scream as you pull your ruined leg out of the bloody hole. "You're so close! I can hear you from inside my box! Stop laughing! Not that kind of box!" Aru barks in encouragement. "Aru, tap the box!" you shout as you crawl along leaving a long trail of blood behind your injured leg. You hear a faint tapping below you. You peer through a hole in the floor and see a skeleton dressed in some type of ancient warrior garb with several blades through its ribcage. Looks like one less trap you have to worry about, it's already been sprung. You try to climb down to the lower level as you begin to feel dizzy from blood loss and fall down a ramp and through a tripwire. You quickly cover your face as a hatch springs open tossing the skeleton of an asp at you. "Fuck... old trap." you say as you brush the dusty snake bones off of yourself. You rummage in your wallet and kiss the lucky guitar pick that Luka gave you before returning it to your wallet. Turns out it worked perfectly. You crawl over to the skeleton and give up. You can't move anymore and your leg was in too much pain. You start to fall asleep when a loud tapping wakes you up. It was coming from the sand beneath the warrior skeleton. You slowly drag yourself over to the patch of sand and brush it away. You see a black piece of wood with red Chinese writing on it. It was the exact same Chinese character that was on the warrior's shield. You dig out the piece of wood and stare at the familiar hexagonal black box that looks identical to the one Master Fu let you borrow when you used Ziggy. You fight the urge to pass out as you flip the box open and are blinded by a brilliant blue light.
"Freedom! Finally after 200 long years, I can breathe air again! I can see! I can feel! I can... wow... you look terrible!" Aru says as you blink the spots out of your eyes. You should have expected that damn blue flash by now. "Well nice to see you too, asshole!" you say with a weakened scoff. "We don't exactly have time for introductions since you're about to die, so I'll make this quick: I am Aru the kwami of the moon wolf. Do you accept my magical powers... blah, blah, yadda yadda. Listen, the quicker you put on that pendant, the sooner I can save your life and get us both out of here!" Aru says impatiently. "Just get me the fuck out of here" you grunt in extreme pain. "It doesn't work that way! You have to willingly accept my power and put on the pendant!" Aru barks at you. "Fine... I accept." you say as your vision starts to blur and you barely get the pendant around your neck. "Very good. Now listen carefully. To save your life, you must say: Aru howl! When you want to remove your powers, say: Aru heel! It's similar to a dog, but I am a very powerful wolf that very few people are able to wield without a gruesome death (Farewell, Master Lee!), or complete insanity." Aru explains as he says his respectful goodbyes to the skeleton of the dead warrior. "Fine... Aru... howl." you say barely are able to speak anymore. You're instantly shot to your feet as you watch the holes in your leg immediately heal and feel your broken nose and you bullet wounds in your back heal themselves. This was indeed a very unique and powerful kwami. You grab your head and slick your long hair back as wolf ears sprout similar to Chat Noir's. You enjoyed the Travolta move for your mask last time, so you decided to use it again. What was Tarantino going to do about it? You're a fucking wolf! You make an X with your forearms before thrusting them downward making your black and grey costume appear. Lightning strikes you as you howl at the sky and a symbol of a wolf in repose and a full moon appear behind you. When your transformation is complete, the room returns to normal but everything is illuminated in a bright green glow. Apparently you are fully healed and can see in the dark. You growl and easily jump back up and run through the ancient traps as they snap around you. You easily dodge large blades, poison darts, snake bones, and hop over spikes. The traps were fast, but you were much faster. You use your wolf senses to sniff out the scent of your own blood and cigarettes throughout the catacombs and quickly retrace your steps. You make it back to the room of dry bones and graffiti where Felix left you to die. You arch your back and howl before quickly scampering up the wet shaft of the tunnel on all fours and smashing the heavy obstacle at the top into wooden splinters. You gaze up at the full moon of Paris and howl loudly making various dogs around the city join in your canine symphony under the twinkling starlight.
You found Aru and have escaped from Les catacombes de Paris. It was now time to hunt!
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Aventure Amoureuse