Full House

I do not own Hazbin Hotel nor do I own the characters or the settings.

**TRIGGER WARNING** This chapter contains mentions of first trimester pregnancy loss and second trimester pregnancy loss**

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Husk remains silent for a long time gathering his thoughts and his courage to be able to tell Angel something he’d never told anyone. He lets out a nervous breath and closes his eyes for a moment. When the cat demon opens his eyes again, he sees Angel waiting patiently sitting in the middle of the bed. Husk turns his body to be able to fully face his lover, “I…I don’t even know where to begin.”

Angel gives him an understanding look and takes one of Husk’s paws into his own hand, “Take ya time…I’ll wait as long as you need.”

The bartender looks at their hands pressed together and convinces himself that Angel is the last person that would judge him and begins his story as his heart pounds anxiously in his chest, “I had a wife when I was alive and she was everything a good wife was supposed to be in those days. I most certainly didn’t deserve her because I was in no sense of the word what a good husband should be.”

Husk stops for a moment trying to convince himself that this was still a good idea. Then Angel squeezes his paw softly and Husk lets out another nervous sigh, “When we were dating and the first few years of our marriage, it was easy to hide my addictions from her, but as you get more comfortable together it’s easier to let things slip.” He drops his gaze down to his lap, but he keeps his paw safely cradled in Angel’s hand as he continues, “I came home having had a bit too much to drink a few times. She never said anything, but she knew. As I said, she was a good wife and as long as I came home after work, treated her right, and paid the bills then she had no reason to rock the boat over a bit of drinking.” He lets out a heavy sigh with his next words, “She knew about the gambling too…she just didn’t know to what extent my addiction actually was until…”

He stops his story and looks at Angel’s face expecting it to have the same disappointed expression his wife’s face had shown after she’d found out how badly he’d fucked everything up. Angel’s face, however, only shows understanding and curiosity encouraging Husk to continue, “I had no choice but to come clean after I lost all our rent and grocery money in one evening.” His wife’s face appears in his mind. Her look of hurt and disappointment, “I thought she would yell or cry or anything other than what actually happened.”

The cat demon shakes his head remembering her peculiar reaction, “Sure, she was upset…who wouldn’t be? We had no money and it was entirely my fault, but she always tried to see the best in everyone and tried to find the silver lining in all situations. She felt like this was a sign for us to spend more time together, start back going to church together. She said that if we found joy in each other then maybe I wouldn’t feel like I needed to go out and find happiness with gambling and drinking.”

A cynical laugh passes his lips, “I wanted that to be true. So, I promised her we would work on making things right and for a while I was true to my promise. I picked up extra jobs to make up for the money I’d lost. I didn’t drink and I spent as much time with her as I could.” He lets out a defeated sigh, “But you know as well as I do that addiction doesn’t go away just because you promise not to.”

He feels Angel’s other hand cup the same paw he’d been holding in two hands now, but the other demon doesn’t interrupt, “The itch was always there in the back of my mind, but for a while I could push it down…until I couldn’t. I told her I was working late, but I was actually back at my old ways.” He flexes his claws nervously in Angel’s grasp, “She didn’t catch on for a while because with gambling, when you’re winning, you’re winning…but when you’re losing…you lose it all.”

Husk closes his eyes once more as the shame from so many decades ago washes over him. He opens his eyes and hates himself for having to reveal all this to Angel, “She didn’t look for the silver lining this time. This time she asked me to give her a divorce and I can’t say I blamed her. I agreed but just when we were about to got through with it all…”

His golden eyes connect with the heterochromatic ones belonging to his lover with his next words, “We found out she was pregnant.”

Angel’s expression remains neutral, but Husk knew the spider was processing every part of the tale, “Against our better judgement, we decided…mostly she decided that we should try to make things work one more time for the baby.” He breaks eye contact with Angel and once again focuses on their joined hands, “I did try, but I was too far gone in my addiction this time and I just managed to hide it from her better.”

Husk swallows audibly and Angel notices the change in emotion with the bartender’s next part of the story, “A few weeks went by and she came to me one evening with tears in her eyes telling me she felt certain she was losing the baby. She was bleeding and cramping and as much as I didn’t want her to have to go through this, I knew it meant I could finally set her free from me.”

He pauses the story and visibly collects himself before starting again, “Maternal technology wasn’t great at the time, but the doctor pretty much confirmed the pregnancy loss, but with further examination…a second baby was discovered and from what the doctor could tell with such limited equipment, this baby was perfectly healthy. We lost one twin but still had the other.”

He unconsciously places his free paw over his own abdomen, “You would think that gaining a second chance like this would knock some sense into me…would make me try to improve my marriage and banish my addiction for good, for the baby we still had…” His claws flex over his stomach as he continues, “But my addiction was more important to me than anything else whether I gave it permission to be that important or not.”

Angel can tell by the painful expression on Husk’s face that the hardest part of his tale was upcoming and the spider demon finally speaks, “Husk…you don’t have to tell me if…”

The shorter demon shakes his head, halting Angel’s words, “No, you deserve to know…I…need you to know.”

Angel nods and brings their still connected hands into his lap as Husk begins again, “A few months went by and every appointment came with good news. She was happy and if she knew I was still drinking and gambling she didn’t confront me with it.” He runs a nervous paw through the fur on his head and lets out a shaky breath, “She came to me one evening telling me she didn’t feel right. She said something felt off and she wanted me to stay with her instead of leaving for the night. I’d told her I picked up extra work but I was actually feeding my addiction.”

His wife’s pleading eyes and visibly shaken face show in his mind as if it happened yesterday, “I brushed it off. I told her everything was great at her last appointment. I told her she was hormonal and just paranoid because of what happened with the baby’s twin.” Husk’s stomach turns sour at the memory of his past self, “I left to go gamble with my perfect, pregnant wife pleading with me to stay. What kind of piece of shit does that?! Why did I do that?!”

He didn’t expect an answer, but he wanted Angel to know that he regretted his actions. He gives his lover a hopeful look that maybe the other demon wouldn’t lose all respect for him after hearing everything, “When I finally made it home, she was in the bathroom on the floor.”

His breathing becomes shallow as his heart begins pounding hard in his chest. He didn’t think he would ever forget the smell, “Blood…on her dress, her thighs, the floor…the smell of blood and death surrounded me.” He closes his eyes once more as the scene plays behind his closed eyelids, “Her panties were in the corner with…pieces…”

Angel didn’t need to hear the rest to know what Husk was referring to, making his neutral expression change to one of upset as he brings Husk’s paw up to his mouth to place a comforting kiss on his trembling claws. Tears leak from underneath the cat demon’s closed eyelids. When he opens his eyes, he refuses to look at Angel and keeps his eyes downcast, “I’ll never forget the look of pure anguish and betrayal on her face. If…if I’d stayed then maybe…maybe I could have saved our baby. I…I could have gotten her to the hospital, but…”

He finally pulls his paw away from Angel as both paws come up to cover his face. The room falls silent for a long time as the heaviness of Husk’s confession hands in the air, “I made sure she healed and helped her get back on her feet before I gave her what I should have all along…a divorce.”

Husk removes his paws from his eyes and finally looks at Angel, “I never saw her again, but I always hoped that she remarried someone that truly appreciated how wonderful she was and I hope she had the kids she deserved.” He shakes his head, “I hope she had a loving family…not like me. I never remarried, never had kids…I died an old man…no family, all alone. Just like I deserved.”

Angel wipes his own tears away before addressing the bartender, “So your reaction to the twins…”

“It was a fucking slap in the face.” He once again places his paws on his stomach, “I keep thinking that my punishment will be…losing them.” He lets out a tired sigh, “Even though this isn’t what I wanted…these babies they’re a part of you and I love you. I didn’t want them, but now…”

His voice trails off, but Angel finishes the cat demon’s thought, “But now ya love them.”

Husk lets out a derisive chuckle, “And isn’t that fucking foolish…to love someone you didn’t even want…someone you’ve never fucking met?”

Angel shakes his head and gives the bartender a soft smile, “I don’t think it’s foolish. I feel the same way.” He places a hand on his own stomach and another hand on Husk’s stomach, “I already love all three of them more than anything even if we didn’t plan them.”

The room falls silent again and soon Husk feels Angel’s arms around him in a tight hug before hearing the spider demon’s voice close to his ear, “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me your story and ya know, ya ain’t that same man anymore. We’ve both been down here for awhile and we ain’t the same.”

Husk frowns at Angel’s words as doubt continues to creep into his mind, “Doesn’t mean I don’t still deserve punishment for what I did to her. I can’t stop the thought that something bad is going to happen to them.”

Angel pulls back from the embrace and looks Husk in the eyes, “I can’t make any promises about what may or may not happen, but I stand by my word when I say I’ll be with you through it all, no matter what.” He gives the cat demon a smile, “Besides, who’s to say this ain’t ya do over? Weirder things have happened around here.”

Husk finally returns the smile, “Maybe you’re right, Legs.” He gives the entertainer a questioning expression before asking his next question, “Do ya have those envelopes close by?”

Angel’s smile widens as he leaves the bed and opens a drawer on his vanity before returning to the bed with the envelopes in hand. The taller demon pulls the pictures out and lays them on the bed. Husk picks them both up and examines them, “You know, back then we didn’t have all this. I never got to see my twins.” He lays the pictures back down, “I didn’t even know if they were boys or girls.”

Angel nods, “Yeah, my mom didn’t know she was having twins until she had us.”

Husk takes another long look at all three babies and finally smiles at the little blobs on the pictures. He then looks back up at Angel’s face, “Thank you.”

The entertainer gives him a look of bewilderment, “For what?”

“For not judging me and not giving up on me even when I acted like I hated you.”

Angel chuckles as he lays his head in Husk’s lap, “I’m the last person to be able to judge anyone. I was a fucking mess topside too.”

Husk cards his claws through Angel’s hair with a chuckle of his own, “Then we’re perfect for each other.”

Angel smiles, “A couple of losers, remember?”

The cat demon’s tail swishes behind him as a soft purr begins in his chest, “How could I forget?”

TBC…