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What Happened Last Night?	By : TheHorneyScorpio Category: +S through Z > South Park > AU/AR - Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality Views: 3346 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to South Park and i make no profit in the making of this fanfiction

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
Last Night 11:12PM

What the fuck just happened?
Stan holding onto the railing on the porch in his front yard. The sound of music from the house party inside was loud enough to be heard from a few feet out of the Marsh House, but not enough to drown block out Stans thoughts on what recently occurred.
Stan wasn’t good at thinking very hard on things. His most recent grades in all his least favorite subjects was proof enough. But when it came to social drama, Stan had even less experience or knowledge on. Sure he had breakups with Wendy and an occasional shit talker but it was never this personal of an attack on his own self-image. And it was never from someone as close as his super best friend Kyle Broflovski.
Why did he do something like that? Did he drink too much and make a mistake? Why did it have to be Kyle that kissed me?
The feeling of Kyle on his lips still lingered minutes after it happened. No matter how many times he tried to wipe the feeling off his face with the arm of his sleeve, the feeling stayed.
And yet….It wasn’t that bad of a kiss…..from a drunk guy at least.

The sound of a car door slamming broke through his mind as he looked over to the cars park on the street close to his home. Kenny with his usual orange parka and a case of beer made himself known to the jock as he waved with his free hand after putting his car keys into his pocket.

“Yo Stan, what’s up? Couldn’t handle all the attention so you had to step out for a bit?”
Kenny managed to make Stan smile for a half second. Doesn’t matter who he was talking to, guy or girl, he always knew what to say to get a reaction out of them, and for the most part, it was usually positive.
“Hey Ken, I thought you were already here, what gives?”
“Ah well my contact was finally able to hook me up with some genuine shit here”
He lifts up the case of a 6 pack of glass bottle beer in his hand as he made his way onto the porch and sat down behind Stan who was leaning on the railing to his front yard.
“Had to literally meet the dude on the border to get these, these babies are so good at getting you wasted that bars in Ireland can’t even give a whole bottle to a person anymore”

“No kiddin? They’re that good huh?”
Stan picks up the casing that Ken laid down near his feet and tried to read the cardboard holder. Headache was what it said on the box with a giant swirl covering the whole artwork of the cardboard. With only 6 bottles and having to snatch them from the border at night, these things must have been the real deal.
“So what made you get them this late into the party?”
Kenny pulled out a cigarette and began to light it up with his iconic playboy lighter he got from an online seller in Vegas. Kenny was a smoker but he didn’t do it at school or even where his sister Karen could see him, only with his friends at their homes, and not even that often at those times. He took a drag and pushed out the smoke as he replied.
“I figured it would be a good little present for ya for your little house party. Sort of my way of congratulating you on your big victory this season.”
“Yeah, well that’s sweet and all, but…..really, what’s the real reason”
Kenny gave a little chuckle as Stan saw right through his bullshit as he took one more puff of his cigarette, Kenny was never one to care about football so that was an obvious lie that Stan had to point out.
“Eh, my booze dealer was able to get his hands on it from England, something about a prohibition they got going on there for the stuff and he got it for cheap so it was as good of a day as any to get wasted with you and Kyle. Hell, depending on how drunk I got off of the shit I might as well add Cartman to the mix.”
Hearing Ken mentioning Kyle stabbed a dagger right through his heart. For a few minutes he was able to forget about the trouble he was in and how we was going to deal with it. But now he was reminded on how stuck he was and how clueless he felt right now. Stan placed the drinks down and faced away from Kenny as he looked out into the street filled with parked cars close to his home.
Kenny already felt something was off by Stans lack of excitement for the good beer, but seeing Stan react to his friends names was what really set him off that not everything was hunky dorey tonight.
“What’s the matter? Don’t tell me you’re getting sober on me now?”
He snuffed out the cigarette that wasn’t even half done as he fixed his posture into “Therapist Kenny” mode on the porch chair
“Okay ill bite, what’s wrong Stan?”
“W-what? Nothing’s wrong”
Stan did his best not to make eye contact with him as stiffened up a little
“No Stan, something is wrong and you’re a shitty liar, just tell me. I know you just want to get it off your chest”
Stan didn’t want to talk about what just happened. He didn’t even want to acknowledge that it actually happened himself, but Kenny was going to find out eventually even if he did keep his mouth shut, most likely from Kyle. It was best to just tell him what happened. If anyone was going to be helpful to fix this problem, it would be the sex god that is Kenny.
Stan made a defeated sigh and turned around to face Kenny.
“Well, I was, helping Kyle out today….I found out Kyle is gay and…I was trying to be supportive by trying to find someone for him an-“
“Oh, Kyle finally told you huh?” Kenny interrupted.
“Oh uh, yeah, he told me after I pestered him for not having a girlfriend for……wait…you knew he was gay?”
“Oh yeah dude, this is old news to me”
“Wh-why did he tell you and not me first? I thought he was my best friend!?”
“Easy there tiger” Kenny tried to reassure him.
“He didn’t tell me exactly. It was more ‘I walked in on him jerking it to some gay porn online one time’ and he made me swear not to tell anyone”.
“How long have you known?”
“Eh…..4 months now I guess, I mean, I had my suspicions but that just confirmed it for me after that. But keep going, were getting off track”
Stan needed a second to process what he was just told, and tried his best not to picture the awkward moment Kenny and Kyle shared that day.
“Uh, yeah well…I tried to find a boyfriend for him and he started to get drunk and….well…..”
Here comes the hard part, admitting what happened. Kenny was mentally on the edge of his seat but kept his composure as Stan got to the juicy part.
“He, confessed he loved me. And then he kissed me”
Kenny made a whistle sound as he leaned back into his chair. His reaction was subdued but he was just as surprised the straight laced straight A student would have the capability to confess his feelings to his best friend
“Damn dude, that really is heavy” Kenny finally replied
“Yeah I know, and I don’t know what I should do the next time I see h-“
“But not really unexpected of him” Kenny interrupted Stan mid-sentence.
Stan showed a puzzled look to that sentence. “Say what?”
“Come on Stan, is it really that surprising that he has a crush on you? You’re both friends since before you two could even read, he’s super nice to you, you’re a major player both on and off the field, you have a nice tone body, and if any of the girls around school are right, you have a great ass.” Kenny made a small smirk at the last part as he made finger guns at Stan.
Stan couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed from the compliments he just heard. He felt the blood rush to his face as he heard how much Kyle admired him. Was it that obvious that Kyle feels this way about him? Yeah Kyle was nice to him and Stan tried to reciprocate it, but it didn’t feel like Kyle was nicer to him than anyone else. Or was it really that obvious to everyone else around him? How ignorant was he being about his best friends feelings.
“So, what do you think I should do? Even if I wanted to accept how he feels, I’m already dating Wendy, and I can’t just dump her because my best friend like me, I don’t want to be an asshole to her like that.”
Kenny took a puff of his cigarette, the stick was half spent as he took a minute to think of an appropriate response.
“….What if you just fuck him?”
Stan mind was shot with a mental bullet as he was physically shook by that out of left field answer
“What the fuck Kenny!?”
“What?”
“I can’t just fuck Kyle!?”
Kenny blew out smoke from another drag of his cigarette
“…Why not?”
“I already told you I’m dating Wendy!”
“So? It’s a party, just fuck him and be back to your iced coffee dates and eskimo kisses with your girl and everything’s swell”
“No Kenny! Everything is not swell! I can’t backstab Wendy like that, and besides, I’m not gay!?”
“well first off, you don’t have to backstab Wendy exactly to have sex with Kyle, and 2, plenty of guys have fuck a guy once in their life, fuck man I’ve done it before, but I won’t spill the beans on Tweeks birthday party tonight, that’s another day kind of story.”
Stan chose to ignore the question of what happened at Tweeks B-Day party less than 2 months ago and continue his sexual breakdown.
“Dude, cheating on Wendy just seems so wrong to me, even if I wanted to……fuck Kyle….”
“Hey man, you can always ask her for a free pass, I’m sure she would make an exception for Kyle if you explained things to her”
“Even if Wendy was totally cool with it, I’m not! I said I’m not gay!”
“ not saying you are, but think of it this way. Kyle has been waiting for possibly years to work up the courage to even tell you he was gay. And he finally gets the balls to confess to you and he needed to get drunk to do it. Kyle must have been so sad to see you be with Wendy instead of him, that he must feel like he wasted his time pining for you for so long.”
Kenny flicked the used stick out of his hand and got up from his chair to wrap an arm around Stan while he took the same stance Stan was while leaning on the porch.
“ just saying, he probably knows he wasn’t going to win you over, he just wanted tonight to let it all out before he can move on to find someone else. So….maybe you can throw a bone his way eh?”
Stan couldn’t believe how much sense Kenny was making right now. Is this how he convinces all the other girls in the world to sleep with him? Because it’s kinda working.
“So if there was guy I think you should have sex with in your entire life…”
Kenny leaned in to add more emphasis as he whispered the rest of his sentence.
“…It would be your gay super best friend.”

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Woah, took me a while to put this up, but hope its good enough that you mind the wait.
I promise to post up another chapter before the end of the month! Post a review or leave a comment please! it boosts my confidence and helps me improve!
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What Happened Last Night?