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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding	By : MelissaMaxwell Category: +G through L > Gargoyles Views: 7467 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gargoyles. Gargoyles belongs to Greg Weisman and Disney. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
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"Don't put that down." Matt advised the rookie with a notepad.
"But, we gotta get his name for the record." said the rookie.
"Well," said Matt. "I'm pretty sure his name's not 'Pudding Tame'." Matt smiled at Castor. "Come on, make this easy and tell me your name."
"It's Castor." he sighed.
"Alright!" said the rookie. "What's your last name?"
"Oyl." he replied. "Maybe you know my sister Olive and her boyfriend, Popeye."
"Eh, just put down 'Doe' or 'Smith'." Matt advised. "So, Castor, interesting accent you got there. Where you from?"
"Somewhere where they don't taze you in the arse, that's where!"
"Ah, somewhere in the United Kingdom, I'm guessing." said Matt. "Care to give us any info on your twin brother? He is your twin brother, right?"
"No, he's my evil clone!" Castor said with an eye roll.
/That's more likely than you think./ Matt thought. "Can you give us his name? We asked him, but he was a little busy looking at his hands."
"What'd you shoot him up with and where can I get some?" asked Castor.
"Please answer the question." Matt sighed.
"Don't you humans read ancient mythology?" Castor asked with a shake of his head. "If my name's Castor, whaddya think my brother's name is?"
The rookie read Castor's name backwards. "Uh- Rotsac!"
Castor laughed. "Rot sac. Good 'un. You watch /Action Force/?"
"Uh, never heard of it." said the rookie.
"Oh, that's right." said Castor. "You'd call it /G.I. Joe/ over here. I always liked Tomax and Xamot."
"It's Pollux, right?" said Matt. "Your brother's name is Pollux."
"Ding ding ding ding!" said Castor as if Matt just won a quiz show. "Congratulations! You have just won the fifty thousand pounds, a Persian rug and a holiday in the Black Forest! Ever think of going on /Strike It Lucky/?"
"Cute." Matt deadpanned. "Now, your other accomplice...."
Elisa walked in. "Alright, McGuiness," she said to the rookie. "We won't be needing you here anymore."
"OK, Miss Maza." McGuiness got up to leave.
"Detective!" she corrected him.
"Oh, sorry, I mean Detective Maza." McGuiness quickly left.
Castor let out a wolf whistle. "Hey, baby!" he smiled at Elisa. "Do you know CPR? Cuz you take my breath away!"
Elisa smiled at him. "Considering I'm the only thing standing between you and a dissection lab in Toronto, I suggest you speak to me with a little more respect."
"Really?" said Castor with a smile. "Maybe they'll give you my heart. Oops, too late! You already have it."
"So, now what do we do?" sighed Matt. "The Gargoyles Taskforce never got as far as discussing what to do in the event that we catch an actual gargoyle. We've got this one, his twin brother...."
"But he's not as handsome as me." said Castor.
"And a gray beaked gargoyle who calls himself 'Uriel'." said Matt. "So, Elisa, what do you want to do?"
"You mean she does something besides be sexy?" said Castor.
"He's probably one of Una's." Elisa said, looking at him. "We should call her."
Castor was no longer smiling. "Uh...actually, that dissection lab in Toronto's starting to sound good. I mean, they'll put us back together when they're done, right?"
"I don't think so." said Elisa. "I'm afraid the only way out of this situation is to make it look like they escaped. How are the other two, Matt?"
"Well, Tweedledum took a tranq dart. He's physically awake, but he claims that he can taste colors. The other one's nervous as a whore in church. He thought we were going to kill him when all we wanted was a mug shot."
"Oi! Can I get those in wallet size?" asked Castor.
"How soon can you get them out of here?" Matt begged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Settle down, children." Michelle said as the hatchlings gathered about. "And I will tell you a story."
"What kinda story?" asked Lunette.
"It's a story about a beautiful maiden whose lover was stolen by the Faerie Queen." said Michelle. "And how she got him back." The hatchlings gathered about in a semicircle around Michelle, who cleared her voice and began to recite.
O I forbid you, maidens a�,

That wear gowd on your hair,

To come or gae by Carterhaugh,

For young Tam Lin is there.

Janet has kilted her green kirtle

A little aboon her knee,

And she has broded her yellow hair

A little aboon her bree,

And she�s awa to Carterhaugh,

As fast as she can hie.
Michelle didn't notice the young male gargoyle leaning on the doorway, listening to her tale. Griff loved the musical sound of this female's voice and the rich tones she used to recite her story. Like the heroine of her tale, this gargoyle also had flaxen blonde hair braided back, kept off her face with a simple blue ribbon. Her skin was a soft, buttery yellow color and her eyes were a luminescent honey brown. /Tell me thy name so I might remember it in my prayers./ Griff thought, remembering a line of Shakespeare he heard long ago. He tore himself from this vision to go find Angela.
She was in the kitchen, wrapping leftovers (what few there were) in tinfoil. "Angela!" he said. "You must tell me the name of that beautiful sister of yours."
Angela smiled. "I think all 15 of my sisters are beautiful." she said. "You'll have to narrow it down."
"The one with the silky blonde hair, sparkly eyes and a voice like the angels."
Angela laughed a bit as she put half an apple pie in the refrigerator. "Griff, you used the word 'sparkly'. You sound like a love sick calf."
"I am love sick." he replied sheepishly.
"Well, let's see." Angela tried to think as she wrapped up a loaf of nut bread. "Blonde hair narrows it down to five. Maybe six. Sandalphonia has light brown hair that's almost blonde and she sings along with her harp sometimes. I'm afraid Israfel has designs on her, though."
"No, no, not that one." said Griff. "The yellow one with the cute beak."
"Michelle's the only sister I have who has a beak." Angela quirked a brow. "You really think her beak is cute?"
"Everything about her is cute. She doth teach the torches to burn bright!"
"Ah, you've read /Romeo and Juliet/ too." Angela observed. "You know that didn't end well, right?"
"Right. Well, that was because Romeo was an immature prat who couldn't stay focused. Ooh, biscuits!" Griff reached for some cookies, only to have his hand spatted by Angela. "Well, back to Michelle." Griff said, shaking his smacked hand. "She isn't seeing anyone, is she?"
"No. Not to my knowledge."
"And you say her name is Michelle?"
"Yes. Katherine was going to name her Michael after the archangel, but she decided Michelle would be nicer for a girl."
"And how well she decided! Michelle. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Thank you, Angela." Griff bowed to her. "If all goes well, I may be calling you 'Sister'."
"Best of luck." Angela shook her head and smiled as Griff left. It was clear that Griff was besmitten. Well, he was a nice fellow, someone her sister might like.
Griff returned to the room where Michelle was telling her story and listened enrapt. Janet had to rescue Tam Lin from the Faerie Queen by pulling him off her horse and holding onto him, no matter what the Faerie Queen turned Tam Lin into. Janet boldly held onto her lover even as his form changed from eel to adder to bear to lion to a red hot iron. At this, Janet threw him into the magic spring Tam Lin had told her about and broke the spell. The lovers left together, leaving behind a very angry Faerie Queen.
Out then spake the Queen o Fairies,

Out of a bush o broom:

�Them that has gotten young Tam Lin

Has gotten a stately groom.�

Out then spake the Queen o Fairies,

And an angry woman was she:

�Shame betide her ill-far�d face,

And an ill death may she die,

For she�s taen awa the bonniest knight

In a� my companie.'
Michelle took a bow, indicating the end of her tale as the children clapped. "Tell us another one!" said Lunette. "Please?"
"I know a poem." Griff stepped forward. "One I never understood the meaning of until just now." Griff recited a poem by Lord Byron he learned long ago. He had to change one of the words to make it fit Michelle better. Originally, the lady in the poem had raven hair. Griff found "flaxen" fit in just as well.
She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every flaxen tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express

How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!
"All this mushy love stuff is making me sick." said Aiden. "I'm gonna go play video games." Many of the other hatchlings dispersed.
"Hey, Sir Griff?" said Connor. "When I get to be a knight, am I gonna havta say soppy poetry stuff to girls too?"
"Only the very pretty ones." said Griff, making Michelle giggle and blush. Connor made a face.
"Oh, I'm not so pretty." said Michelle.
"Right." said Griff. "You're more than just pretty. You're beautiful." Just then, Connor started his own recitation.
I could not, would not, in a house.

I would not, could not, with a mouse.

I would not eat them with a fox.

I would not eat them in a box.

I would not eat them here or there.

I would not eat them anywhere.

I would not eat green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.*
"Connor," said Griff. "Why don't you go play with Aiden?" Connor frowned and walked away muttering something about "manky girls". "Allow me to introduce myself, fair lady." Griff said, bowing and taking her hand. "I am Sir Griff of London." He touched his beak to the back of her hand. "I believe I have the pleasure of addressing the Lady Michelle?"
"Well, my name is Michelle, but I'm hardly a lady!" Michelle laughed at the very idea.
In the next room the phone rang. Goliath saw the letters "NYPD 23" on the caller ID box. He picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Goliath?" he heard Elisa's voice.
"Elisa, I thought you'd be with your parents." he said. "Is something wrong?"
"Goliath, three gargoyles just got picked up for vandalizing Quarryman headquarters." said Elisa. "Two of them look like they could be Una's boys and the other one I'm sure is one of Angela's brothers."
Goliath growled. "They should have known better than to do something so foolish."
"Yeah, well, being young and stupid doesn't warrant being dissected." said Elisa. "So, Matt and I are going to make it look like they escaped. You and Una might want to be here to make sure they get back to the castle. One of them is, uh, a little loopy right now."
"Loopy?"
"He got hit with a tranq dart. We weren't sure what the effects on a gargoyle would be. He went down for awhile, and now, well, he's in Hunter S. Thompson land."
"We're on our way." said Goliath. "Take care of yourself, Elisa."
"I will, Big Guy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Eensy weensy gargoyle climbed up the water spout!" sang Pollux as Uriel paced in their jail cell. "Down came the rain and washed the gargoyle out! Up came the sun and turned him into stone. So the eensy weensy gargoyle just sat there all alone!"
Matt and Elisa escorted a handcuffed Castor towards the cell. "Morgan, Travanti," Elisa said to the officers standing guard. "Take five." As soon as they were gone, Elisa undid Castor's cuffs.
"Wanna cuff me up somewhere else, sweetie?" asked Castor. "I'm very open minded, you know. Not to mention flexible." He wiggled his brows suggestively.
"Castor, have you met a gargoyle named Goliath by any chance?" asked Elisa.
"What, that big purple bloke what looks and dresses like Tarzan?" asked Castor. "Seen him about. Why?"
"He's my boyfriend." said Elisa.
"Oh, uh, shoulda told me that to start with." Castor said, looking nervous.
"You boys can break iron bars, right?" Matt asked, opening the cell.
"Oh, that's right, I can!" said Uriel. "I forget these things sometimes."
"Pollux couldn't break a candy bar in the state he's in." said Castor. Pollux was now laying on his back, looking at the ceiling and talking about the stars. Uriel went to work twisting the bars on the window while Castor hefted Pollux onto his feet.
"Wow!" Pollux gasped, looking at Elisa. "You are /beautiful/!"
"She's also got a bloke what can snap our spines like twigs." said Castor. "C'mon, we'd best scarper." The three scurried out the window.
As soon as they were gone, Elisa yelled "Stop! You can't do this!" and knocked over the water cooler. She lay down next to it and tried to look injured while Matt fired his gun at the wall.
"Right, mates." said Castor as they perched on the balcony of the clock tower. "We're in the clear! Now, how do we get back to the Aerie Tower?"
"We'd be glad to show you." They froze at the sound of Goliath's voice and the distinctive whoosh of wings as a few other gargoyles landed behind them. The three miscreant gargoyles turned to see Goliath with his arms folded and his eyes glowing. Leo and Una flanked him in similar stances.
"Golaith!" Castor chuckled nervously. "I just met your girlfriend. Lovely young lady. Uh, hi, Leo, hi Una!"
"Hi!" giggled Pollux.
"I bet you are!" snapped Una.
"Steady on, Mum!" said Castor. "It wasn't his doin'. The bobbies here shot him up with something."
Angela and Broadway landed on the balcony with Katherine and Tom in their arms. Neither looked happy. "Uh, hi, Tom. Hi, Katherine." Uriel said nervously.
"You're in a wee bit o' trouble, lad." said Tom.
"Uriel, how could you do this!" yelled Katherine. "You could've been hurt! You could've been killed! And for what? To pull some silly prank! I've a good mind to take you over my knee and...." While Katherine ranted, Angela wandered into the clock tower interior.
"Angela, where you going?" Broadway asked following her.
"Don't you remember?" she asked with a dreamy smile as she looked around. "This is where we first met."
"Yeah, looks like they've refurbished a bit since then." said Broadway, looking around.
"It was right here, I believe." Angela stood on a spot just out of the shadows. "Goliath introduced me, then you introduced yourself and then you gave me that Whitman's sampler."
Broadway shrugged. "The way to a girl's heart is through chocolate."
Angela giggled. "About a week later you took me to the movies to see /Forest Gump/. What was that line? 'Life is like a box of chocolates. You never do know what you're gonna get.'"
"And you got the sweet, nutty one!" said Broadway, embracing her.
"Angela! Broadway!" Goliath called. "We're ready to go."
Angela kissed Broadway's cheek. "Come on. We'd better go before Katherine takes Uriel over her knee."

*Dr. Seuss - Green Eggs and Ham
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My Big Fat Gargoyle Wedding