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Face Thy Fears	By : Scienceteacher Category: Transformers > G1 > Crossovers Views: 2674 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Do not own the Transformers, am not making anything from this story.

Chapter List
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Learning New Things

A warm glow had come over her as she started to relax and enjoy giving her friend pleasure. It felt good to see him be able to enjoy the stimuli without the tears of the anticipated pain which had also followed when the cons had done this to him. She found herself gaining confidence as she moved her fingers down to his lower grids, watching in absolute fascination as he reacted as if he was in pure ecstasy.

Was this what passion was like? She felt a strange longing fill her grids. It was like she could almost feel the electrified pulses that he was. Her core temperature rose as her systems reacted to her increasing desire. The increase in heat caused her to almost swoon. Her bleeder vents opened, trying to cool her system down with the planetoid’s thin atmosphere….

Then his lips met hers, the passion in his kiss sent waves of electricity coursing through her chassis. He pressed her against him as he wrapped his arms around her, the pulsation of his spark so close to hers, made hers jump in nervous excitement. She trembled against him, as much in passion as her fear of that passion. She was inexperienced, unused to these sensations coursing through her. The nearness of him filled her with both anticipation and total terror..

He felt the ghost tremble against him, pulling back, he looked shamefully down. He’d been overcome by the pleasure sensations, he’d forgotten that she’d claimed to have never been kissed before, and here he was, almost raping her mouth with his desire. “I.. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that..” he said to the emptiness in front of him.

He felt her sobbing in his arms, had he really scared her that badly? Pulling her to his chest, he tried to comfort her as best he knew. Ignoring the sensations that her smooth armor shifting against his exposed sensory nets was causing..

Getting control of herself, SunSpot wiped her tears from her invisible cheeks. She pressed herself tighter in his embrace, trying to hide from her fears of contact, of intimacy. She knew Primus expected her to eventually mate.. To eventually reproduce in this dimension.. She had to get over it. She had to learn. Listening to her friend’s whispered apologies, warmth flooded through her. He was unable to bond right now, he was safe. Perhaps he’d be willing to teach her to accept a mech’s touch like that? To learn to enjoy the sensations…

“Red?” she whimpered, her voice showing her trepidation, her fear of what she was going to ask..

“I’m so sorry Spot, I wasn’t thinking.. I won’t do it again..” Red Alert promised softly, his voice showing his feelings of shame over what he’d done. He didn’t want to lose his ghostly friend..

“What does it feel like Red, to feel pleasure?” she asked; her voice shaking even as a shiver coursed through her invisible chassis.

He stiffened, stopping his next round of apologies abruptly. “You want to know what it feels like?” he asked softly, completely caught off guard.

She nodded, her helm rubbing against his shoulder armor. “I don’t know what it feels like, I want to,” she whispered. Gulping down her fear.. He couldn’t bond.. He was safe.. He’d just show her the way sensory grid stimulation felt.. That’s all..

“You… You want to? Want to feel my fingers on your grids?” he stammered, his blue optics widening as he stared at the nothingness in his arms. He’d never touched a ghost, but she did feel solid, so perhaps he was able to stimulate her grids. He couldn’t bond, she knew that as well as he did. He relaxed a little, for he really didn’t think he could bond even if he had the circuitry to do so, even with her. The cons had ripped something in his meta about that. But simple mutual sensory play? Yes, he thought he could stand to do that with a ghost. But what if a ghost could bond directly with a mech’s spark?! Red Alert’s optics widened in fear, for even though he trusted her, he couldn’t stand the thought of another spark touching his.. Getting inside him.. He had to make sure she knew he just couldn’t.. Just couldn’t bond – period..

Blushing as a wave of anxiety washed over her, the invisible Seeker nodded against him. She kept telling herself over-and-over again that she had to learn to accept it, enjoy it, want it. He couldn’t bond.. He was safe..

“You know I can’t bond,” Red Alert whispered. He felt kind’ve stupid for saying that, but he actually meant it in more ways than just the physical. He really did like her. He was more comfortable around her than even Inferno. But he was soiled goods; he couldn’t be anyone’s bond mate now, not even a ghost’s. And if ghosts could join sparks directly, he just didn’t want to. He just couldn’t.. Not after what had happened..

“I know, I don’t want to.. I just want to know what pleasure is..” she replied.

Relief flooded over him. She wasn’t wanting to bond, to share sparks. He could show her the sensory play, it was clean. He could do that. Sighing, he knew he could now repay her a little for his freedom then. Pushing her down gently, he turned off his optics, knowing it would just drive him to glitches to be doing this with what looked like nothingness. He concentrated on what he felt beneath his hands. He’d never willingly been with a Seeker-type before, but he’d heard that their wings were their most sensitive surface grid. So straddling her, he hesitantly slid his hands up and let his fingers dance along the surface of her wings.

She trembled beneath him, gasping as waves of beautiful electrical stimulation coursed through her. Setting his fingers down more firmly, he rubbed her wings, enjoying the sensation of the ghost arching up into him. Tracing his fingers down, he found the wing-fuselage seam, her hands gripped his legs painfully as she screamed in ecstasy, her cool chassis bucking beneath him.

“Do you want me to go further?” he asked quietly. He was beginning to enjoy the feel of her smooth codpiece grinding against his exposed sensory grid, his own spark leaping with excitement even though he knew he was unable to bond. His spark was safe from any further molestation for now. This was just simple play. He felt secure that he could trust this ghost like he could trust no other.

She gasped, “There’s more?!” Another shudder ran through her chassis, making her moan. The butterflies in her core rose up. She was both terrified and excited to feel more intensified stimuli under his knowledgeable fingertips.

He cocked his head, his optics still deactivated as he focused the feel of the ghost’s cool armor against his hands. She had truly off lined before ever living, ever loving! It was both agonizingly sad and exhilarating to be the first mech to have his hands on her, his lips on hers. To teach the dead femme what she should’ve experienced in life. “Yes, there’s so much more. You can overload without even bonding if you do it right..” he explained as he ground his hips seductively against hers. For some reason he thought he could feel her spark pulsating against the cool fuselage, as if trying desperately to join his. The sensation was slightly terrifying to him, but she had said she didn’t want to bond, didn’t want to combine sparks. He had to trust her. Had to trust that all she wanted was the simple play….

“Yes… yes.. show me, please?” she pleaded in a weak voice. She fought her fear down. He was her friend. She was asking him to do this. He would teach her..

Feeling down her air frame, he felt along the seams of her cockpit. “Let me have access,” he told her softly. He felt her shudder in anticipation under him, her grip on his upper leg armor tightening, as the sound of clicks and a whooshing could be heard in the still air. Slowly, he traced the edges of her now-opened cockpit lightly with his fingertips. Her shudders increased in intensity as he slipped them in, stroking the sensitive circuitry within.

Suddenly, she screamed and then went completely limp. At first, Red Alert was worried that he’d hurt his ghostly friend. Maybe ghosts couldn’t handle this intimate of physical contact with living mechs? But he could still feel the slight vibrations of her idling engines. A grin crossed his face as he realized that he’d caused the inexperienced ghost to overload that quickly. Feeling very satisfied with himself, he gently closed her invisible cockpit and slid off her.

Activating his optics, he scanned around them and located his armor and codpiece that she’d removed. Slowly getting all the pieces back on and latched, he listened for the tail-tale sounds of a rebooting mech. Sure enough, the soft clicks and whirrs of mech systems coming back online filled the air.

Sitting down, he watched the empty spot where he knew the ghost was laying down. He heard her moan and shift slightly as she fully reactivated.

“Wow! So that’s what its like?” she asked as she sat up. Her entire chassis still felt slightly electrified, still aroused by the sensory play. Looking over at the Autobot, she noticed the satisfied smile on his face as he listened to her reboot. At least he seemed to find some personal enjoyment by ‘teaching’ her. That was good..

He nodded, “It gets better as you get more experienced though. There are more sensitive grids than that one.” He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. They didn’t really need to hurry back to the Autobots did they? They were already safely out of con territory. Perhaps they could stay here for a few day cycles so that he could enjoy teaching her? It did feel good to be someone’s first, even if they were already dead. But it made him feel somehow a little cleaner.. As if the tarnish on his spark was being polished off a little…. Perhaps Primus had sent him an innocent angel in order to cleanse his very spark?

----

Healing the Wounds Within

“There?” she whispered, her fingers hesitantly slipping in between his shoulder armor and chest plate.

He nodded, enjoying the wave of sensation as those invisible fingertips stroked his circuits. Feeling along her unseen air frame, he slipped his fingers into her intakes, exploring their interior with dancing fingertips. She trembled against him. “So I guess that’s a good spot, Spot?” he asked softly.

Her touch became bolder as she explored under his hood, her fingertips dancing over his highly sensitive radar array. A shudder ran through him as the wave of sensation flew through his meta. “As good as this spot I think,” she joked softly.

Red Alert had actually amazed himself. After talking her into taking an extended rest period on the planetoid, he and the ghost had started to really learn about each other. Since there was no want of bonding on either side, the pressure was off both partners. They’d sit facing each other, her legs over his, and just touch and caress various regions on the other one’s chassis. Sometimes one would even tell the other where to touch, or how to touch. They’d do this for many astrohours, both partners now getting completely comfortable with the touch of the other. There was an understanding developing between them.; The simple understanding that they were both somehow not totally whole, not totally able to give themselves to another, but yet, somehow, they would work together in order to get over it.

He felt the pain within his spark begin to heal. And as the intensities of their play sessions would predictably increase, he began to allow himself to overload with her. He finally began to trust that he was truly safe again.

----

He now knew every seam on the invisible Seeker and seemed to be able to even sense where she was. Though she claimed not to remember much about her life before her off lining, she seemed to know an awful lot about the current living Galaxy and war. It was beginning to mess with his meta just why she was like this? Sitting alone as he waited for his ghostly friend to come back from her flight, he decided that when she came back from ‘stretching her wings’ that he was really going to get her to talk, Red Alert leaned back against the cliff face that they’d camped at the base of, and waited.

SunSpot rolled happily in the thin breeze of the planetoid’s atmosphere. She was on the other side of it from Red Alert, so she had decloaked and was recharging her cells even as she flew. Thinking about the wonderful sensations that he’d been teaching her, she laughed in glee. For once in her entire pathetic life, she felt somewhat whole, somewhat comfortable in the arms of another. She felt like she was someone.

To her, Red Alert was the perfect mech. He was smart, brave, and seemed to understand to take his time. He asked if she wanted to do something, and he never insulted her inexperienced attempts to pleasure him. It seemed like he wanted her around him all the time, like he couldn’t get enough of her. And although he didn’t like her taking these flights without him, as long as she wasn’t gone for very long, he let her. Yes, he was so perfect.. SunSpot couldn’t imagine living without him now…

Now that her cores were recharged fully, she locked on Red Alert’s image and teleported to him.

------

Red Alert looked up and smiled, he sensed the ghost had come back. He’d been getting a little worried since she’d been gone for over thirty astrominutes this time. He didn’t really like being alone, it made him feel like the cons might find him again.. And he was still totally defenseless without his ghost friend.. They’d get him.. Shaking his head to get the paranoid thoughts out of his meta, he relaxed, his friend was back. Everything was now ok.

“Enjoy yourself?” he asked to the empty landscape.

She chuckled, he had really gotten the knack of sensing her presence. Trotting happily up to him, she plopped her aft down next to him. The small cloud of dust which she stirred up, notified the sharp Autobot of exactly where she was. She felt his arm go around her, giving her a welcoming squeeze.

“I missed you,” Red Alert told her. He turned his head to face where he knew she was and gave her his biggest smile. He liked having his security back next to him.. Now nothing could hurt him.. Nothing..

She leaned into him, now thoroughly able to relax and enjoy his touch. His warmth radiated through her, making her very core feel light. “So do you want me to finish your repairs today Red?” she asked softly. In a sense, she did want him totally whole again. But she still didn’t want to actually bond. She wasn’t ready to get pregnant yet. Their ‘play’ sessions were more than satisfying enough. But when he got back to the Autobots, what would their medics think if he came back without any bonding circuitry left in him?

He tensed a bit. No he didn’t want that replaced yet. He didn’t want there to be any way for another spark to molest his again.. Not now.. Was the ghost now wanting too? Was the play no longer satisfying? “Um, I don’t need it,” he stammered as he lowered his optics to the ground. He felt the blackness of shame go over him, he was weak, he was just a tarnished spark.

He felt her fingertips go under his chin, as she shifted to their normal play position. As he lifted his optics to the nothingness that was her, he could somehow sense her ghostly optics locking with his. “I’m still not interested in bonding, Red. Don’t worry about that. .. Um,.. I’m just worried about what your medics will say if you come back without any of that circuitry,” she said softly.

The wave of relief flowed over him. She understood exactly how he was feeling. She was just watching out for him, thinking about how to protect him in the future. Red couldn’t help but smile in gratitude. It felt so good to finally have a loyal friend who watched his back like this. But he still didn’t want that circuitry replaced, he just wasn’t ready.. If he had it, then if he was caught again, they’d rape him. Or Inferno might try to force himself on him or something. No, he didn’t even want the ability to bond right now. He didn’t know if he’d ever want it again. Their mutual ‘play’ was more than enough to satisfy him. “I still don’t want it Spot. I’ll just keep them from examining me. But thanks for thinking about it,” he softly replied.

SunSpot studied him; she could tell that part of him was still very broken inside. Maybe, when she was finally ready to bond, he’d be healed again? She sure hoped so, because she couldn’t even bear the thought of another mech’s hands on her. She only wanted his. Wrapping her fingers around his, she squeezed. “Just tell me when you want them replaced, and I’ll do it, Ok Chief?” she said softly. She knew that by using his title, she made him feel more like a mech for some reason.

He perked up a little and smiled at the nothingness that was her. “Thanks for watching my back,” he said softly as he brought his hand to his lips, kissing the invisible, yet somehow solid, fingers wrapped around it. He owed his life to this ghost, his very spark’s integrity. He couldn’t imagine life without her anymore. She was now more important than even Inferno. She understood him, she supported him, she protected him… She’d never betray him like everyone else did…

His lips on her fingers brought that same fluttering feeling into her core again. That excitement that he liked her, and although she blushed a little, she didn’t drop her gaze this time.

“I do have one question though, Spot,” he said softly. Lowering their hands back down to rest his elbows on his knees, he looked at the empty air with seriousness on his face. “How’d you learn so much information about our current Galaxy and war?” he asked.

She chewed on her lip as she tried to decide the best answer to give him. But he was the Chief of Security, so he wouldn’t look down on her for being a spy would he? In fact, he’d probably be happy that she was. She fought the urge to shiver as she decided to tell him the truth. It would be better for their future working relationship if he knew what her talents were, wouldn’t it? “Well, um, I’m trained to gather information Red. That’s all I really am good at,” she stammered.

Red Alert’s optics widened, “You’re a spy – a hacker?!” he asked. He couldn’t believe his luck! She was perfect.. Perfect for him! Oh, all the missions he could think of for her to do…

“Ya, um, I’m pretty good at hacking and not getting caught,” she stammered. But she felt a wave of pride, because at least she had something to offer him of value.

The mech couldn’t help but laugh as he realized what she’d most likely done. “So you hacked the ship’s mainframe and then later downloaded a worm into it?! Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!” he said in between his chuckles. Primus had sent him a true partner in every sense of the word……

----

Appearing from Nowhere

Red Alert rubbed his fingertips gently on the leading edges of her invisible wings. They were almost to Galton-viv and he felt a strange rising within his core. It was a strange mix of elation and anxiety. For they were going to end up at the Autobot outpost there, and he was going to finally be back with his faction.. But something in the back of his meta kept haunting him.. Would Spot truly stay by his side now that he was safe? Her mission would be over wouldn’t it? What if Primus called her back?

He felt almost as if his entire world was being shattered. True, she was dead, but he felt like she was truly his spark mate in every sense of the word. Yes, he was officially ‘bond mate’ to Inferno, but he no longer wanted that mech. After all, if Inferno ever found out that he had willingly kissed Seekers, willingly allowed them to molest him – he’d never want to touch him again! But Spot not only knew his darkest of secrets – she’d actually stood witness to them. She called him brave. She desired his tainted touch, his tainted lips upon her innocence. She saw him for what he was and she – loved him.

As that last thought ran through his meta, Red Alert’s optics widened in total shock. From her words and her actions, it was so obvious that the dead femme loved him! But how could a ghost love a living mech? But then he considered his own feelings towards her. Did he – love – the ghost?!?! Did he truly feel that he loved the dead femme? How could he love something that wasn’t even functioning anymore?!

Sighing, he rested his head down on the swell of her invisible fuselage. He did love her, he was sure of it. And from her actions, he suspected she felt the same way. He didn’t ever want to function again without her haunting him.. Ever.. How could he convince her to haunt him for the rest of his functioning life? How could he?

But then an idea coursed through his meta. Sure they couldn’t ‘bond’ like normal bond mates. Not only was he unable, but she was dead. What they had went so much deeper. They were mates of their very sparks. He was sure of it. He already considered himself unbonded again. That was one of the reasons that he didn’t even want to have bonding circuits anymore. Would Spot consider taking him as her spark mate? To haunt him until the day he off-lined and they could truly be mates in the afterlife? Would she? He had to know.. Had to know before they stepped in that outpost…

“Spot, would you land us about ten clicks from the metropolis? So they won’t see us,” Red Alert asked.

Taking it as more of an order, she banked slightly, changing their flight path a bit. Finding a clear meadow in the planet’s vegetation, she landed vertically, touching down softly on the dew-covered ground cover. Transforming after Red Alert hopped off and deftly swung the chains off her nose, she stretched a bit.

“Little stiff Spot?” Red Alert asked as he heard the familiar slight sounds of her stretching. She tended to do this after every extended leg of their trek here.

“Ya, just a little Chief,” she replied. She scanned him in the visual wavelengths, he looked so handsome with the moonlight coming down from the planets two moons..

He held out his hand, waiting for the invisible ghost to curl her fingers around his. Smiling, he looked at the emptiness in front of him as he felt the cool press of her spirit armor close around his fingers. “Um, Spot, I want to know something before we go to that outpost,” he said softly. In his meta he pictured the ghost as she would’ve appeared in life; standing in front of him, the moonlight glinting off her graceful wings, her beautiful blue optics looking into his. It really didn’t matter what her paint job would’ve been, she was beautiful..

“Yes, Chief, what’s that?” she asked softly. Her voice seemed to be a song in the quite of the meadow’s night.

Imagining the ghost cocking her head in interest, Red Alert tried to gulp down the nervous rising in his core. “How do you feel about me Spot? I mean really feel?” he asked softly. His blue optics shined in the darkness, their brilliance seemed only to increase as he asked the question.

At his question, SunSpot felt those butterflies racing through her. She didn’t have any experience about this personal relationships thing. She had no idea what he wanted to hear. But then she thought back to the relationship she had been witness to between Raptor and Optimus. Her Grandparents built their love around a mutual understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They had a mutual respect that went even deeper than their love for each other. They truly understood and accepted each other to the core. This how ‘love’ had been defined to the young Seeker as her grandparents had raised her as their own. This is all she knew.

Now looking at the mech standing before her, she began to list off the similarities between their ‘relationship’ and that of her grandparents. Yes, she thought she loved Red as much as she understood what ‘love’ was. But would that scare him? She didn’t want to bond anytime soon, and she understood why that was his biggest fear, but would it scare him if she admitted her deep attachment to him? But, he seemed to want some kind of permanent attachment didn’t he? He had asked her if she’d still ‘haunt’ him, he actually wanted her too.

So gulping down her fear of rejection, she told him the truth. “Um, I don’t really know what love feels like, but I think that’s what I feel,” she stammered. The unseen blush flowed heavily over her features as she looked down at the ground and shifted her thrusters in anxiety.

She loved him! She actually loved him! Red Alert’s spark pulsated in sheer joy. He’d guessed correctly. The ghost was that emotionally attached to him. But would she promise to haunt him until the day he off lined? Would she be able to give him her oath? “Spot? I know I love you,” he said softly as he rubbed her invisible hands with his thumbs. “Would you…. Would you promise to haunt me until I off line? To, um, be my Spark’s mate?” he stammered.

He loved her too! Wow! Elation ran through her chassis. She had a mech that loved her! But didn’t he already have a bond mate? What would he think when she finally revealed herself? She felt crushed, but she had to bring it up. “But Red, aren’t you already bonded?” she asked softly.

He felt like Megatron had just hit him head on with a well-aimed cannon blast. But she was right, he was still ‘officially’ bonded to Inferno. But he didn’t love him anymore, he knew it in his core. “I.. I’m going to break it off when we get back. I can’t… I can’t look the mech in the face after all that’s happened.. I want to be with you,” he said. Tears began to well up in his optics as he had to say the truth… Had to make her truly believe he’d only want to be with her… “You saw what happened, you understand me, Spot.. I don’t ever want you to leave my side..”

So he was going to break up with his bond mate – for her? SunSpot was blown away. She’d heard stories about things like this happening. Bond mates did sometimes break up and go with new partners. Isn’t that how her grandparents had ended up together? But what would Red think when she appeared as a functioning mech? She had to at least warn him that it was ‘possible’. “Um, Red, Primus might one day let me come fully back to this dimension. Would you still love me?” she asked softly.

Red Alert’s optics got huge. She might one day be allowed a second chance at functioning?!? And she would still want to be with him?!? “You’d still want to be with me – even if you functioned?” he asked in total amazement. “Yes… Yes I’d still love you, I swear!”

She fell into his arms at his proclamation; she had her future mate now. “And I’ll promise to haunt you to the day you off line, or we both do – if I ever function again…”
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Face Thy Fears