Undertow | By : pronker Category: +M through R > Penguins of Madagascar Views: 11341 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I make no profit from this fanfiction set in Dreamworks' Penguins of Madagascar franchise. I do not own its characters, basic premise or settings. |
"Kowalski, stand down." Damn, Mothers Day morn absolutely fried his trusted lieutenant. After the many times Kowalski had supported him, in particular during the black days following Manfredi's and Johnson's deaths, Skipper vowed to do the same.
Kowalski's voice reached his falsetto of pure terror. "But, sir! Egg Number Two hasn't cracked more than three point fifteen millimeters of a hairline in three point nine six days! Something's wrong! I've got to get little Primula, Tactic, Daisy, Donald or Milton out of there! It's on me!"
"Soldier, I'm concerned, too." Skipper rocked Sally in flippers strong and true. Her sealed eyes phantom blinked under their delicate blue lids like she'd been doing since birth, a reminder that she was taking her own sweet time to see the world and it was all right. Skipper felt sure in his gut.
His baby girl blinked blink blink pause blink pause pause and then her expressive eyes relaxed into sleep. He spoke softer than he needed to in this sitch. Her tiny belly bulged with a lovely mishmash of salmon and smelt that he had graced her with for breakfast. Funny, the routine of five days and nights showcased the team's excelente performance as they shuffled between babysitting Sally and eggsitting little Whoever.
"You are? You don't show it." The falsetto toned downwards into high countertenor and then upwards once more. "Are you feeling all right? What will our team do if you fall ill - "
Good redeye gravy, the bird before him neared nervous collapse in his own lab. Reassuring mode it was to be. "I am well. Rico, tell him why there's little cause for hysteria."
Rico's shrug and "Huh?" prompted Skipper to whisper, "What happens to eggs when they go bad, soldier? Lay it out for him yes I know what I just said. Do it."
Rico's brow wrinkled in thought and then smoothed. His beak turned downwards with an ohhnoez. "'Kipppaaaahhhh - "
Skipper mouthed, "That's an order." He laid Sally in the IKEA crib they had assembled for her. One of Kowalski's experiments bubbled with a poppoppp and the three of them whipped their regard over to Sally. She slumbered on and they relaxed.
Rico took a deep breath and addressed his love. "Kwoskii, eggdunttink."
"Y-You mean if our baby had p-p-p-p-perished inside this egg it would sm- oh I'm going to faint - "
Skipper vaulted over the crib to slap Kowalski roundly. The scientist rallied. "All r-r-r-right, enough, I'm - I said once is enough, sir - I'm okay - "
"You're not looking it - " Skipper cocked his flipper and Kowalski blocked the blow.
"I am all right. I've considered the options and here's what I intend: shock therapy."
"What the hell, Kowalski, and no. Just no. You cannot mean what I think you mean." Skipper's jaw dropped.
Kowalski warmed to his proposal. "Sir, do you like potatoes?"
"Rico, hold him still for another slaportunity - I won't hit so hard this time - "
Rico moved, all right, but it was only to surround his love and his commander with a wide embrace to shuttle them out of the lab. He closed the door softly behind him. "Proceed," he said.
Kowalski and Skipper did a double take at the clearly pronounced word. Skipper proceeded. "Potatoes, Science Boy?"
Fevered words tumbled out as Kowalski yanked their whiteboard over to them. He drew swiftly in an assured manner that Skipper reserved judgment about. Just because Kowalski was sure did not mean he was correct. Hell, the scientist took a deep breath so this was going to be long.
"Creating an electric battery out of an ordinary potato is a popular science project for human middle-school students. In most commercial batteries, electricity is generated by a chemical reaction between two electrodes, one copper and one zinc, coupled with an electrolyte of sulfuric acid. The liquid in a potato can act as the electrolyte and generate electricity between two electrodes. A scientific type such as myself places one electrode into the potato and the other near but not touching."
Rico nodded thoughtfully. "Orme."
Skipper called on all his tact learned during his time commanding because this proved braaping delicate. "Rico, I realize your demo skills involve placing fuses for C-4 on an artistic level - "
"Kaboom!"
" - yes, kaboom, compadre, but in the hypothetical instance of electric shocking a b-baby see I can't even say it - "
Kowalski drew himself up to his full height to point down dramatically towards the egg. "Skipper mine, you cannot believe I would harm any baby." The egg rested atop Kowalski's feet with no comment. "You cannot."
Skipper continued, " - hypothetically, I would order Kowalski to do the unthinkable with you as backup."
Kowalski barreled along with pleading eyes. "A naturally generated small electric charge such as from a potato would ripple along the shell's fracture line to crack it further to free our child, all of our childs, er, childses. Children? No, that's wrong." He halted, appearing shaken at his own words and then did his best analyzing in his hyper emotional state. "All I need is an aiming mechanism so the amniotic fluid would protect - "
"No, it wouldn't. Any electrified fluid would hardboil our baby and I say again, stand down." Protectprotectprotect thundered in Skipper's brain.
He could nearly hear his lieutenant's thoughts as Kowalski approached his leader, anguish in every tense muscle. "Sir, I'm terribly concerned about this - "
"Remember what you said? The unusual downright weird guesstational whatsis inside a male and super weird conceptional beginning made our kids not Huey Dewey Louie to a Norm, or something, blah blah, but the upshot is, our kids got a strange start." Skipper paused, inspired. "Look at Sally!" He pointed to the lab door. "Okay, her eyes aren't like ours were when we hatched but all in all, she's eating and pooping and peeping and keeping us up at night and all that other baby stuff. She's fine and her little Irish twin will be, too."
He could tell the term derailed Kowalski's bullet train of thought, which was his aim. "Irish twin? I'm not familiar with the concept - "
"Well, blame it on prolific families because it means babies born a short time apart to a couple, like two in eleven months for humans. A guest once said she gave birth and then got pregnant again that same year with the second birth being twins. How's that for keeping parents hopping?"
The faraway, familiar look of options sprouted over Kowalski's face as he pondered. "Yes, I should say so. Three in diapers, whewie, the logistics alone - "
" - aren't all that interesting." Skipper patted Kowalski's shoulder as he winked at Rico. "So we wait. I know it's hard, but we're tough, right? Little Number Two will be fine."
Rico took over as he hugged Kowalski from behind and kissed his long neck. "Kwoskiinutzboutkids."
"Yeah, no duh."
IOIOIOIOIO
"Sleepover last night, how rum tum tummy! Nibble on a choccy biccy or three, eh? Talk about flowery curtains and boys, did yeh?"
Marlene bared her fish rending fangs on a fine sunny day. "Oh sure, and how kangaroos named Joey are full of it, and how weird the Sydney Opera House looks - "
"Haw haw haw! Joey can take a joke when he's got booze to choose. Gimme gimme." Cthulhu held out her contribution, three tumblers, while Joey opened his pouch that was filled with orange drink that smelled most excellent. Marlene hesitated but dumped the contents of a dark green bottle inside at his insistent look. He placed both paws on his pouch in a firm seal and jumped three times into the air.
Marlene and Cthulhu exchanged glances when he unsealed the pouch and gestured. "Marlenie and Cthulhie, dip away with the glasses, dearies." His grin disarmed both females and they each dipped out a serving of orange colored drink. With a show of politeness that surprised Marlene, Joey waited until they finished before dipping in with the tumbler the Slasher passed to him. He dipped deep as Marlene observed that each helping looked equally scrumptious. Joey exclaimed, "Oi, ladies, here's how!"
Joey knocked back a concoction he named a Bundaberg Blood Orange Paloma. "Right then, what a wallop it packs, just like Joey! Cheero."
Joey contributed the orange pop and Marlene the booze, which was all that was left of the Gammel Dansk Skipper gifted her with. She tilted her glass to the late afternoon sun and swished its contents to and fro. "I'm not sure about this, Joey."
Joey uncrossed his eyes after a thorough hawking. He looked like he was going to spit at their feet in some obscure Aussie ritual but then seemed to think the better of it. He swallowed what he'd raised with a loud glunk to the disgusted looks and gagging sounds of both otter and Slasher. "Clears the pipes, cozens the darby, it does. Try it." He puckered his lips at Marlene coupled with a raised brow, challenging and cautioning at once.
"Yeah, I'm not even going to try to parse that one. Cthulhu, down the hatch, huh?" Maybe if they bonded together over a shared drink, their acquaintanceship might mellow into Marlene calling the other animal a friend. Couldn't hurt, ruminated Marlene as she chug a lugged her third of Joey's bartending efforts. "Gah!"
"See why I'm right, eh? Good stuff, eh? Downright grouse, I say. Here's to me mum!" A tiny drop escaped the capture of his lips until Joey slurped it down. "Me mum's the best."
"That's a lie." Oh heavenly days, was Cthulhu out of her mind? Nobody offended Joey and got away with it, not his friend Leonard or his protector Skipper or, well, anybody except Officer X that time and he didn't count, being human and all.
Joey's ears flattened, always a bad sign. "Sheila or not, I'll rassle you - "
"I said it's a lie because my mum's the best." Cthulhu showed no sign of being battle ready like the penguins did with their action stances. Marlene bet that Cthulhu stood an excellent chance of giving as good as she got in a match against an enraged boxing 'roo.
Marlene saw a chance to make peace on this Mothers Day as she stated the obvious. "No, my mom is the best."
The atmosphere loomed to thunderclouds and then lightened to rainbows sweeter than even Private could describe them. Joey turned congenial, and Marlene thought that he ought to drink more often, perhaps on a weekly basis. "Haw haw haw! Yer right, Sheila One and Sheila Two, yer right as, as an outback billabong, and I'm right, as well."
Crisis averted, Marlene, Joey and Cthulhu shared a good laugh at their camaraderie restored. The laugh turned raucous after Joey told the joke about the 'roo with the velociraptor complex. Marlene had heard it twice before. The third time was funny as the first, although she suspected the booze factored in.
"Ta for this fun idea, Cthulhie," Joey stated after he'd stopped laughing. "I must be off now, but holy dooley, you came up with a rip snorter." He got a glint in his eye as familiar as the one in Skipper's. "C'mere."
Before Marlene could make her legs move to kick him away from Cthulhu and herself, Joey picked them both up and planted a good one directly on Cthulhu's lips and then on hers. It had been awhile since Marlene had not needed to contend with a beak.
Cthulhu squirmed free to drop to the ground a second after Marlene. Marlene began to say her usual "Stop! I don't like bad touching like this!" She got as far as "St- " when what came from Cthulhu was, "Stop! Aw, go on with you, Joey. I had fun, too, and so did you, Marlene, say you did I know you did."
The cocktail lingered on Marlene's whiskers. "Um hm. Yes." She just knew she looked glassy eyed because of the boozy kiss and because she realized it had not been half bad to be grabbed and overcome.
Joey's laugh boomed again. "Haw, she's snookered. See you round the zoo, gels, ta ra ra boom de ay." Without explaining that strange sentiment, he bounded eight feet straight up to Marlene's plane tree and then off to the brick pathways of Central Park Zoo.
IOIOIOIOIO
Cthulhu slid to a comfortable puddle onto the lawn, a loofy smile growing wider and wider. Something was in the wind. Marlene sniffed the breeze and her eyes grew round as the planet shifted.
"I'm pregnant, Marlene."
The world stopped spinning. Marlene sniffed again. "Yup, that's the smell."
"Two weeks."
"Uh huh. So, how's it feel?"
Cthulhu took her time answering. "Nothing different. Not a thing. Do I look different?"
"No."
"Eight weeks to go. I'm prepared."
Marlene stifled her snort. "I'd be surprised if you weren't. You're the most prepared, copacetic animal I know. You put penguin commandos to shame."
"Thank you."
"My pleasure." Well, it was meant as a compliment and taken as such. The subject of pregnancy was mildly interesting to Marlene, but only just. "So, um, Cthulhu. The male Slasher got shipped back to Harare, I hear. You okay with that?"
"Oh, fershur. He did his job."
"Uh huh and then he split. He had to, but still - "
"Slashers don't stay to raise kits with the mother. It's tradition."
"Otters have a different sort of tradition. My dad and mom, still together after years and they might even have more pups after me, I mean I might have brothers and sisters I don't even know unless a TV special about them comes on Channel One - "
"It bothers you?" This was something Marlene had not confided to Penny or anyone else.
"Yes. I can't help it."
Cthulhu's voice remained dispassionate. "Ever think of ditching the zoo and running away to go back?"
"What? No, I haven't. California is that way about 2,670 miles in case you didn't know."
Cthulhu wasn't the type to cover up ignorance or fake it until she made it and Marlene liked her for that. "I see. No, I wouldn't try it alone, either."
It felt too final to let go of the notion that Cthulhu had planted. "I dunno, I guess the penguins would help me bug out. One of them might even go with me. He's got this blow up dolly of himself that's worked before to hide any absences. Aw, what am I saying? He'd never desert his post, especially now." Marlene played with the grass tickling her neck.
Calm descended onto Cthulhu's face like maple syrup over a short stack. Her body spilled into a furry waterfall over the grassy knoll as she flopped beside Marlene. "So you and Skipper are an item like I thought?"
Marlene stretched out in the sun, side eyeing Cthulhu's middle to see if her shape had changed yet. "Yeah. It's just ridic, Cthulhu. I love the guy."
"And the problem being?"
The words poured out. "He's penguin, I'm otter. He's my commander part of the time and the whole mess makes me sick. I feel stupid. I've got to save what little pride remains out of all this. I played with fire and I got burnt bad."
"So he's out of the picture for good?"
"Gosh, I hope not! He only said that he wanted time off to get his affairs in order."
Cthulhu snapped upright. "He's dying? Shame. No wonder he wanted to quit you - "
"Sorry, sorry, wrong words. I am on edge. No, he's a commander and takes it so seriously you'd think the world is on his black and white shoulders. He wants to firm up his new schedule with his b-b-babies and his team. Which includes me part of the time. I got benched and well, I just don't like it."
Cthulhu lazed on her back in the incredibly supple position that otters and felines shared. She bent her neck to look straight down her form to view her tail, lank in the mugginess. "The warmth reminds me of Zim-er, Rhodesia," she purred. "At least you know the tsano. I didn't know my mate because everything got done, right, tight and painful after five minutes, if you must know the truth. Alice hauled him out of the cage with her choke stick right after he squalled and then doused a bucket of ice water on me to make me close up tight to keep the spunk inside, I guess. I try not to hate her, I do."
"Er, uh, yeah, I think the whole zoo heard you two." The new word percolated through Marlene's brain, which glossed over the rest of the tale. "Tiss-ah-no means what, now?"
Cthulhu sprawled further to allow the sun to bake her belly. Marlene tried to think of what little slasher kits looked like at this stage of the game. She couldn't picture them as anything except ugly naked blobs, actually. They were probably the color of cotton candy. She forced her attention back to Cthulhu's words.
"Tsano is a brother-in-law."
A second impossible topic. "What? How in the world could that happen without my marriage to, to, well, who? Kowalski? Rico? Some blood brother or sister that Skipper left behind in Antarctica because I can't picture me with Private at all - "
Marlene knew for sure that Cthulhu curbed her strength with a claws-in slap to Marlene's muzzle. "Hush! Don't make me clup you again, Marlene. Tsano also means a fershur good friend." At Marlene's look, she added, "It's complicated. Just think of the word as respectful and male." Respect? Yes, beyond all else, Marlene acknowledged that strong basis for whatever the word was for their relationship. She rubbed her whiskers thoughtfully.
"Um, yeah, he and I have known each other for a long time now. We've gone on missions together, just us two and at Snowmageddon, oh that winter was before you got here, and and we had each other's backs against a nasty human then. Slurpees were involved. That happened before he and I got together-together although we sorta kinda leaned that direction." Another word clicked. "What was painful?"
Cthulhu took Marlene's paw and after a moment Marlene squeezed it, feeling the smooth pads tremble. "Sex hurt me, Marlene."
"Oh no, oh no! That's awful! Did you do what I told you? Pant like a puppy when he pushed in - "
"Y-Yes. That first part felt not too bad, but then when he pulled out it felt like a black mamba scraped its fangs inside me. I cried."
"I'm terribly sorry, Cthulhu."
"I heard Doc tell Alice it happens every time with felines. I don't want to go through that again."
Marlene counted her blessings of being an otter. "Lady, I don't blame you. I never knew sex could be bad. It sucks big time."
The Slasher made a sound that might have been a chuckle. "He sucked me little time, so I relaxed a bit anyway. It's what I'll remember about him, that and his name, Pazwakawambwa."
"Whoa, that's a mouthful."
"He had a mouth to treasure." She toyed with Marlene's digits. She stroked the palm before giving a little shake of her head and dropping the paw to Marlene's side. "The whole experience was awkward, and, and gwash. I hated being caged with him."
Marlene couldn't help herself as the latest events in her own life swamped her. "I'm so, so, so sorry," she wailed into both cupped paws. "Sex can be wonderful, even when it brings p-p-problems oh oh oh hic hic ahhh ahhhh hic sniffle hic - "
"Mukoma, lighten up. It's over with now and I'm pregnant and content. My kits will stay with me for two years. After that, who knows?"
Yes, all was in the lap of the Goddess, and who knew what would happen when She stood up? Marlene sobbed hysterically. "How can you be like this? Doesn't responsibility ever not sit well with you? A two year commitment is, is ohh ohh ahhhh uhh un hic sneeze kashrombashhhh oh sniffle hic hic hichic - "
Cthulhu shrugged. "Get it out of your system."
Five minutes later, Marlene did. "I'b codgestid."
"So I hear. Let's dish over Skipper." She paused. "You love him, but are you in love with him?"
"I dode doe! I dode doe and dow I feel eben stupider baw baw hic hic sniffle aw aw awwww hichic - "
"Boo!"
Scaring did not help end the hiccups. Cthulhu stayed quiet until Marlene got hold of herself ten minutes later and then the Slasher seemed inclined to chatter to fill the silence until Marlene could join a conversation without sniffling.
It wasn't until Cthulhu brought up the subject of a motto that Marlene perked up. "You doe, id's fuddy. I was thinkig of a change byself."
Cthulhu had switched to baking her back. She circled a lazy paw through a patch of clover. "Go on, mukoma."
"Weeellllll, id's whad I oberheard a guest say, you doe wud of doze chaddy sords - "
"I'm listening. Clear your throat, you're, er, grossing me out, I think that's the right word?"
Marlene snorted, hawked and spat. "Mmmkay, better dow?"
Cthulhu smiled. "Some. So what's the motto?"
"Try this on for size: Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc."
"Sounds Italian."
"Close! I told Kowalski, that's the brainy penguin, and he said it means we gladly feast on those who would subdue us in old timey Italian called Latin. Neat, hah? I like it."
Cthulhu took her time deciding, another point in friendship's favor. "I want it."
"Let's share it."
"Let's." Otter and Slasher fist bumped.
"I so didn't expect this, Cthulhu, I mean, I hoped for a gal pal nearby and hey, it's you!" Marlene bubbled and then frowned. "My old motto was anything for a friend. Don't take this the wrong way, but there are some things I wouldn't do for you."
Cthulhu bristled her tail. "Like what?"
"Like what you hinted about, er, you know, at our sleepover last night - "
"Oh, that's all right. I'm settled down now. It's no good if both don't want it - "
"Yeah, that's enough discussion about that. I'll be going inside now, want tea before you need to make an appearance in your habitat?"
"One more thing." Cthulhu's tail curled slyly. "I'm ready for a change in another way. I'm not calling Zimbabwe Rhodesia any more. It's Zimbabwe to the max."
"Oooookaaaay. Something tells me that's a big deal to you." Marlene wasn't the type to push too hard. Skipper liked her that way and more to the point, she liked herself that way.
Cthulhu cracked a slow smile. "I'm me and not my mum."
"You know it, girlfriend. B'bye now."
IOIOIOIOIO
Fifteen minutes later, more company arrived, this time unexpectedly yet still welcome. "So, Marlene, how goes it?"
Marlene worked hard to smile. "All right, not too bad. How's by you?"
She could see that Private's chest swelled fit to burst. "Our baby got past the first worryin' five days, hooooweeee! Now it's just waitin' for the next one that's blinkin' hard."
"I'm happy for you all." More words simply wouldn't come. She supposed these few sounded sincere and by the Labyrinthine Mollusk, they were.
"Come round to visit once we're sure they're both arrived safe and sound like? Skippa and I would love your company."
Marlene's heart floundered but she kept her voice steady. "Oh sure. When time permits."
"Why, wot have you got goin' on?" He wasn't being a little bitch, was he? Was bitchiness even in his skill set?
"My art. Rehearsing a new routine for the guests. My other friends demanding some time. The usual."
Private examined his flippertips. "Glad you're keepin' busy, I shan't take up all your afternoon."
"Just checking in, touching bases, right, I get it. You have a good day now, Private. My love t-to the gang." The last sentence felt real and true, not at all forced, yes that was it.
"Righto, toodle pip, Marlene."
"Back at you, Private." Marlene turned once more to shading the charcoal sketch of Kowalski and Rico without seeing Private out. She'd deliver the sketch as a belated anniversary gift when she could carve out the time. She wanted to be on an even keel before attempting a visit. Maybe the commandos would trot out their productions on a walkabout through the zoo? Throw a zoo wide party? Eh, one thing at a time.
IOIOIOIOIO
Skipper's Log, May Fifteenth: Another Day In Paradise: It was so easy this time, Log, I really really love my boy's entrance into the world. Too bad Private missed the exact moment of his birth, but then he did the hardest part of laying the eggs. And this time it all happened super fast! Mijo, mijo, me encantada, precioso.
"Way to stick it to science, Tactic! Attaboy!"
Skipper tossed his son to Rico, who burbled an awriiiiite before passing him to Kowalski.
Kowalski's awe approached quantum levels. "You, you little boy genius! You exploded out of your shell with one big push, oh Daddy is terribly proud of you." The scientist covered the sealed eyelids in tender kisses until the baby boy squirmed. "Let me check you over, small one."
Skipper flung a flipper about Rico's shoulders. "Our family is complete, Rico."
"Yah."
"I'm not crying, you're crying."
"Yah."
There sounded pitter pattering little penguin feet and then a splash splash splish. "Aw, I wanted to be here." Private leaped up onto their faux floe with a crinkled brow and approached the hatching scene. His face melted into pure joy. "My son, Milton."
Skipper turned to face his love. "We, um, think Tactic fits better, babe."
"Eh?"
Rico butted in. "Kaboom!"
"Wot? I like a classic Brit name like Milton and - "
"Let me explain. He peeped, popped out of his prison with a gigundo crack and a braaping good job it was. He's a born tactician." Skipper took both of Private's flippers for a profound kiss of gratitude to their tips.
Rico bowed to the left and right. "Ithunkitup!"
"Welllllll - "
"We'll nickname him Tikki, like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi in that Brit story you won't shut up about."
"Well, all right then, I give. Tactic it is. So he's okay, K'walski?"
Kowalski held up his son like Rafiki did Simba. "He's as perfect as his sister."
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