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Aventure Amoureuse	By : Baron Category: +M through R > Miraculous LadyBug Views: 5012 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction for adults. Miraculous Ladybug and its characters are not mine, and are the property of ZAG-inc. I make no profit from this and all characters are 18+.

Chapter List
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You stand in the destroyed penthouse of Le Grand Paris. The balcony windows are shattered, the elevator doors are bent inwards, the front doors and door to the penthouse are all broken off their hinges, and there's a Sabria-sized hole in the ceiling in the hallway of the top floor. You were beaten to a bloody pulp and had several gunshot wounds, a broken nose, and two black eyes. You didn't give a fuck. In your arms you held the only thing you truly loved. Your fiance Adrien Agreste. He was naked and a little shaken up, but he would be ok. "We should probably get out of here before the police arrive." Plagg says as he flies up and puts a cigarette in your mouth. "Thank you, Plagg. That's an excellent idea." you say as Plagg lights your cigarette thanking you for saving his master in his own special way. You walk to the broken elevator carrying your shivering naked prize. "I want to go home, my amour." Adrien says as he clutches you tightly. "I know you do. I want to go home too." you say as you kick the elevator button for the lobby. "You set Adrien down for a second and take off your jacket. You take a large swig of the 151 proof rum that you were going to use to burn the hotel, but was trapped inside your costume. You give Adrien a large sip of it too before wrapping him in your jacket and picking him back up. "I'm not a baby, you ass." Adrien smiles as he begins to feel warmer. "You're my baby. Now shut up, smartass." you chuckle as you hold him tightly and the elevator doors ding open to the destroyed lobby. A light fixture falls from the ceiling before you step off the elevator. "Look at what you've done to my beautiful hotel!" Mayor Bourgeois says as he walks out from behind the counter and blocks your path to the door. "You're in my way, Mr. Mayor. The last person who got in my way didn't have a very pleasant afternoon." you say as you narrow your eyes at him. "Is that a threat?" Mayor Bourgeois asks you. "That depends on you. I'm either going to walk past you, or I'm going to walk through whatever's left of you, but either way... I'm walking out of that door." you say gesturing at the destroyed main entrance with your chin as you hold Adrien tightly.
"I'm sorry. I cannot permit you to harm the mayor." Jean says as you feel the muzzle of his FAMAS press against your neck. You look over to see him wearing his butler uniform pointing the powerful French assault rifle at your jugular vein. "Fuck, Jeano. I was so close. I was almost home." you say as your shoulders slump. You're fucked. Either Jean kills you right here and now, or you spend the rest of your life in La Santé. Either way, your life with Adrien was over. "I'm sorry, my friend. I was the mayor's employee long before I met you. Mayor Bourgeois hired me to follow his orders, not to like them. I have to do what I'm told to do." Jean says as he cocks the weapon. You look down at Adrien as he takes a sip of rum and winks at you. You realize that you have a way out of this. "Jean, I'm going to prison for a long time, aren't I?" you ask the butler. "Twenty years minimum sentence." he informs you bluntly. "May i finish my cigarette first? I probably won't get to smoke again for a very long time." you explain to him as you take a drag of your cigarette. "Go ahead. You're not going anywhere, what's five more minutes?" Jean says as he closes one eye and takes aim. "Thank you, Jeano. Hell of a day, isn't it?" you chuckle as you smoke your cigarette. "That it is." Jean replies as he watches you carefully. You hold your cigarette in front of you and turn your head to look Jean in his eyes. "I'm sorry, my friend." you say calmly. "It's fine. I don't like this anymore than you do." he says calmly. "No, Jeano. You don't understand. I'M SORRY, MY FRIEND." you say as Adrien spits the rum at your cigarette engulfing Jean in a 151 proof fireball as he screams and tries to extinguish his butler suit. You stoop down and pick up the FAMAS assault rifle he dropped being careful not to drop Adrien and point it at the mayor as you let it rest comfortably in the crook of your elbow.
"I ask you again, Mayor Bourgeois: Am I walking past you? Or am I walking through you?" you say as you point the FAMAS at his face and Adrien lets out a rum belch. "Heh. I uh... I think I hear my daughter calling me. Pardon me." Mayor Bourgeois says as he starts to walk away. "Uh-Uh... not so fast, fancy pants!" you say as you continue pointing the gun at him. "W-Was there something else you needed?" he asks you. "Keys." you say as you put your finger on the trigger. "Of course!" Mayor Bourgeois says as he tosses his BMW keys at you. You look down at the keys on the ground and look back up glaring at him. "Heh. Sorry about that! Allow me!" he says as he picks up the keys and hands them to you. "Better! Very good, Mayor Bourgeois. It's been a pleasure visiting your hotel. 5 out of 5 stars, would destroy again. Highly recommend." you happily grin as you back out of the hotel never taking your eyes off of him. "I love it when you do stuff like that." Adrien smiles and kisses you as you walk out front. "I know you do. Come on, let's go home. I'll give you a ride in my new beamer." you chuckle as you carry him to the car.
"So how are you doing, my love?" you ask as you help Adrien into the BMW. "Heh. I feel how you look." he says as he touches your face. "Yeah, Lt. Raincomprix made me a little bit uglier." you say as you sniff loudly and spit blood onto the concrete. "Don't piss me off. We've discussed this before. You're not ugly. Even all beat up, you're still stunningly beautiful to me." Adrien says as you start the car. "You're so corny sometimes." you smile as you pull out into the intersection and see police rushing to the hotel. "That's our que to get out of here." he says as Plagg and Ziggy fly out of his jacket and you drive away from the scene. "Master, are you ok?" Plagg asks sounding worried. "My butt hurts, Plagg. By the way, who are you?" he asks Ziggy. "I am Ziggy. The kwami of the goat Miraculous!" she tells him. "That's cool and all, but WHY are you here?" Adrien elaborates. "Your lover used my power to rescue you!" Ziggy says happily. "Wait... YOU were a superhero? You're kidding, right?" Adrien says looking at you strangely. "Nope. I got to do your job for a day." you say as you drive to Mater Fu's house. "Really? How did you like it?" Adrien asks sitting up and giving you his full attention. "Meh. It was alright. I didn't really like the no cigarettes and no profanity thing. Oh yeah, before I forget... FUCK!!! Sorry, I've been holding that in for a while." you chuckle and realize you just yelled fuck out of the window really loud and scared someone. "Hey! Don't yell curse words out of the window! That was my friend Max you just yelled at! You scared the shit out of him!" Adrien scolds you. "Sorry, baby. I was holding it in since I wasn't supposed to curse as a superhero." you shrug. "Oh yeah! What was your superhero name? I'll bet it was something really badass like Skullcrusher or Widowmaker!" he says as you mumble and trail off. "I didn't hear you. What was it?" Adrien asks as he listens closely. "Their name was Caprikid!" Ziggy says happily thinking the name is awesome. "Caprikid? Like a juice box?" Adrien says sounding confused. "No! Like Capricorn! It's been Caprikid for thousands of years! Long before juice boxes were even invented!" Ziggy says defensively. "Ziggy, why don't you change it to something better like Rampart? Caprikid sounds like cigarettes for children." you say as you drive around. "They don't make cigarettes for children. I like Caprikid." Ziggy says stubbornly. "Yes they do. Candy cigarettes." you inform the kwami. "They make cigarettes out of candy?" Adrien asks. "No, they're candy that looks like cigarettes. They're for children and nonsmokers. They're usually made out of bubble gum, and they smoke when you blow into them." you explain to your curious fiance. "That actually sounds kind of cool! I don't smoke, I like candy, I want some of them!" he says excitedly. "Hmm... well I suppose giving you an oral fixation wouldn't hurt. Why not? I can probably scrounge up a pack or two somewhere around Paris." you tell him as you pull up to Master Fu's house.
"Cool, I appreciate it. Ready to go see Master Fu?" Adrien says as he puts his hand on the door. "Forgetting something, babe?" you snicker at him. "Hmm? What did I forget?" he asks. "Your pants! You can't walk into Fu's house like that! He already thinks I'm weird enough!" you say as you gesture to Adrien's nude bottom half. "Damn. I wanted to say hi to Master Fu." Adrien says sounding disappointed. "Just hang here for a second. Drink some rum. I'm only going in to drop off Ziggy, grab my guns, and bail. Then we're going home before I pass out from blood loss. Speaking of, pass the rum." you say as you take a swig of rum and knock on Master Fu's door. "Fu, it's me! I'm not selling Watchtower magazines! I'm returning your goat girl thing!" you shout inside. "Ok, ok, keep your pants on! Where is Adrien?" he asks as he opens the door. "Adrien? He couldn't keep his pants on. Speaking of, I have to leave quickly. The cops are looking for me, and I want to show Adrien this cool trick I saw on a nature show!" you say as you dislocate your jaw. "Why do I allow you to spend time with my students again? Where is the Miraculous?" Fu asks as Ziggy flies out of your jacket and you remove the hair clips and put them back in the hexagonal box. "See ya, Ziggy. You really have to do something about that Caprikid crap." you say as you hold the box open for her. "Let it go! I like Caprikid!" she says as she flies into the box and you snap it shut before handing it to Fu. "Very good. Thank you for taking care of Ziggy. Your bag of weapons are under my table. You are also two macaroons short. Give my regards to Marinette." Master Fu grins at you as he brushes cookie crumbs off of his Hawaiian shirt. "I like you, Master Fu. I'm not going to begrudge you two cookies. I keep forgetting that they're in there honestly." you say as you pick up your duffel bag and feel whole again. "Take care, now. Be good to Adrien, he loves you." Master Fu says with a pleasant smile. "All right, Fu. I'll see you around. I'll bring Aru by if I find him." you say as you wave the guardian goodbye and leave his house.
You walk out of Master Fu's house and get into the BMW you jacked from Mayor Bourgeois. "Pass me the rum, beautiful." you say as you start the car. "Should you be drinking and driving?" Adrien asks you. "Dude, it's a STOLEN car. Laws don't apply with stuff that you steal. What am I going to do, pay the insurance next? Obey the speed limit? Make my passengers wear pants?" you joke as you nibble and grope on him from the driver's seat. "Stop! That tickles! Knock it off!" he giggles as he passes you the rum. "See? That's all I wanted. A stiff drink and a stiff boyfriend to play with." you smile as you take a big gulp of the rum and hand it back to him. "I considered straddling the gearshift, but I didn't think you were inebriated enough to fall for it." he grins mischievously. "I don't understand." you say as you pull out into the intersection. "I was going to straddle the center console and see if you would confuse ME for the gearshift knob. I might as well take advantage of being bottomless." he smirks at you. "If you want a handjob, just ask me. There's no way I'll be able to drive drunk AND whack you off while I'm driving. I'll wrap us around a tree while I do it. You're cute and distracting, I'd end up killing us both." you tell him honestly. "It sounded fun in theory." Adrien shrugs. "It's a great idea in theory, but in reality the fire department would pry out our corpses with the jaws of life." you grin at him.
"All right! Point taken! No gearshift games in the car." Adrien pouts. "Relax, we're almost home. By the way, where should I ditch this heap? I can't exactly park it in front of your house." you say as you drive past Marinette and honk the horn making her jump and drop things. "That wasn't nice. Poor Marinette." he says as he looks out the window. "That girl is too high-strung. Look at how she dropped all that shit. I only honked the horn to say hello, I didn't hop the curb or anything." you shrug as you continue driving. "I suppose that's true. I got an idea of how to ditch the car you might like. You get to break stuff!" Adrien says looking forward to breaking things with you. "Cool, what are we breaking?" you ask him. "We're going to blow down the door of the three little pigs." he chuckles happily as he drinks some rum. "You've been hanging out with me for too long, squirt." you say as you steal another sip and pass it back to him. "No, you'll like this one! Just point the car at that blue house and wait here real quick!" Adrien says as you park the car and he runs out. "Babe! What are you doing? You're not wearing any pants!" you shout at him as he runs into someone's yard and returns with a heavy cinder block. "Put it in neutral!" he giggles as he tosses the cinder block into the car. "Are we launching the mayor's car at that house?" you ask him. "Yep. This will be really cool. Just get ready to run back to my room." Adrien chuckles. "Um... who's house is that, anyway?" you ask him curiously. "Lt. Raincomprix. He broke your nose, I break his house. Agreeable?" he says looking serious and slightly pissed off. "So let me get this straight: We're crashing the mayor's car through the cop's front door?" you ask him. "Think about it: If someone broke MY nose, wouldn't you kick their ass?" Adrien says. "Hmm... I suppose I would. Hand me the cinder block." you say as he hands you the cinder block and you place it on the accelerator pedal and rev the engine. "May I?" he asks preparing to launch the car. "Go for it, babe." you say as you grab your duffel bag. Adrien puts the BMW into drive and floors it through Lt. Raincomprix's house with a loud crash and the sound of broken glass. "Come on, let's go home. I sent my message: Never mess with Adrien's fiance." he chuckles as you both run back to his house drinking 151 proof rum and laughing hysterically.
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Aventure Amoureuse