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Aventure Amoureuse	By : Baron Category: +M through R > Miraculous LadyBug Views: 5012 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction for adults. Miraculous Ladybug and its characters are not mine, and are the property of ZAG-inc. I make no profit from this and all characters are 18+.

Chapter List
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"So what's it going to be? Are you with us, or against us? Friend or Foe?" Ladybug asks as she cracks her knuckles. "Either one suits us just fine. I'm in a fighting mood anyway!" Viperion says as he plays Snap Your Fingers Snap Your Neck by Prong on his harp. You want to save Adrien from Chloe at the hotel, but doing so will betray the heroes trust. You'll have to fistfight your way through both Ladybug and Viperion to make it to Adrien. They were ready for war, and you were in no shape to challenge both of them. Especially not Ladybug. You've fought all of the heroes at different times around Paris, but Ladybug was their leader and easily was the strongest one of the three. Chat Noir and Viperion were also pretty strong, but Ladybug REALLY knew how to rattle your skull in a fight. You were in no shape to take on both her and Viperion in your current condition. You've been shot, run over, dropped from a building, hit in the face with an electric guitar, punched, kicked, beaten, and had your nose broken by the cops. This was certainly NOT the day to fuck with a pissed off Ladybug and her angry boyfriend. As much as it pains you, and as much as you love him and want to save him... Adrien will have to wait. Hopefully, Chloe wasn't doing anything all THAT horrible to him. He might even be enjoying it. "Fine. I'll help you fight your Nazi bird man or whatever." you sigh wishing that you were with your fiance instead of fighting costumed weirdos today. "He's not a Nazi, he's just a nutcase that REALLY loves pigeons. The flocks of pigeons take on all different kinds of shapes, not just bomber planes." Ladybug explains. "Oh! Well, that's disgusting. That's arguably even worse than a Nazi. Yuck!" you say as you wonder how sex with a bird is even possible. "No, that's NOT what she means! He... he doesn't make love to the pigeons! He loves them like pets!" Viperion explains sounding frustrated. "Then why does he put his dick into them, then? Explain that!" you reply smugly. "NOBODY SAID THAT!!!" Ladybug shouts as she slaps her forehead in frustration. "Are you going to help us or not? I swear there won't be any ornithophilia involved!" Viperion says as he pats Ladybug on her back as she shakes her head. "Alright, but let's make this quick. My fiance is a little tied up right now, and I don't want to keep him waiting." you explain to the duo. "Don't worry, we've fought Mr. Pigeon plenty of times. You'll be back in plenty of time to have sex with with your fiance." Ladybug explains.
"I'm holding you to that, Ladybug. Let's go fuck up your pigeon man." you say to them. "Um... just a quick pointer. Superheroes don't normally swear excessively. Kids look up to us, you know? We don't want to be a bad influence or anything." Viperion explains as Ladybug nods in agreement. "I take it that neither of you read Tank Girl or Lobo, do you?" you sigh not liking this goody-goody crap at all. "Just humor us, please? We need the citizens and police to trust us or it makes it harder to do our job. Don't you read Spiderman? Look at all the stuff he has to go through with cops and the media!" Ladybug says scoring a checkmate on your comic book argument. "Fucking hell. Fine! I'll watch my language for the kiddies!" you huff angrily. "There you go! Save that profanity for sex with your fiance. I'm sure he'll appreciate it if you talk dirty to him." Viperion says with a cute smile. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. You better make this quick!" you say as you reach for your cigarettes and realize that they're fused with your costume somewhere because they were in your jacket pocket. "What's wrong? Did you drop something?" Ladybug asks you. "My fuck- (ahem) my cigarettes. I had them in my pockets before I transformed. I can't find them now." you explain to the heroine. "Aw, man! They're part of your costume now. You won't be able to smoke them until you change back. You should have dropped them on the ground before using your kwami." Viperion explains. "Seriously? Do either of you have a cigarette I can bum from you then?" you ask in a desperate plea for sweet nicotine. "Um... we don't smoke. OW! Cigarettes. We don't smoke cigarettes!" Ladybug says as Viperion elbows her for lying while in costume. "This day is just getting better and better. No guns, no fiance, no cigarettes, beat up, and a ridiculous pigeon man. Let's just get this over with." you say as you jump off the roof. "What's eating them?" Viperion asks. "Obviously not their fiance." Ladybug answers as they both jump off the roof and follow you.
"So where's this dick- (ahem) diabolical villain at anyway?" you ask attempting to watch your language for the snot-nosed brats of Paris. "He's usually near the Arc de Triomphe. A lot of pigeons hang out there. This particular villain is tough, but pretty simple. We want to snatch the birdcall from around his neck. It's a small wooden whistle he uses to control the pigeons." Ladybug explains. "I hope you're not allergic to feathers like Chat Noir is. Where is he, anyway?" Viperion says. "I don't know. He's not answering my calls. That's not like Chat Noir at all. I know we're not dating anymore, but he said we'd always be friends. I'm really starting to get worried. He missed patrol with me last night too." Ladybug explains as she tries to call him again. "Cat got your tongue? Leave a message!" the pre-recorded voice of your loving fiance says as Ladybug attempts to reach Chat Noir. You knew where he was and what you had to do, but it was nice to hear his voice... even if it was only a recording. You smile sadly. You're glad to hear his voice, but missing him terribly and worried sick about him. "I'm sure he's fine, Ladybug. You worry too much. Chat Noir is a big boy and can handle himself. It's sweet that you worry about him, but you're not his mother. He probably had something to do in his personal life. We can beat Mr. Pigeon without him." Viperion says in an attempt to ease his lover's worry. "I'm uh... I'm sure your friend will be fine." you say as you pretend not to know who Chat Noir is. Turns out it hurt worse than you expected it to. The three of you continue running to the Arc de Triomphe.
"There you are! Aren't you tired of getting beaten, Mr. Pigeon?" Ladybug asks as the three of you reach the Arc de Triomphe and see a ridiculous-looking man in a pink and gray suit standing on top of a flying flock of pigeons. You burst out into hysterical laughter as you look at him flying there. "My pigeons need a sanctuary! They've lived in Paris for centuries. Generations of them! They deserve more respect than what the people of this city treat them with. This city belongs to the pigeons! This city..." Mr. Pigeon says before you rudely interrupt him. "...is for the birds!" you shout before cackling with laughter at him again. "And who might you be, laughing cow?" Mr. Pigeon asks you in an annoyed tone. "Hey! I'm a goat, not a fu- (ahem) freakin' cow!" you reply defensively. "They're Caprikid!" Viperion says pointing his thumb at you and chuckling. "Ew, really? That's a TERRIBLE superhero name! It sounds like a juice box! Why on Earth would you choose that name?" Ladybug asks you as she laughs. "I didn't! It's what the kwami calls its superhero. I think it's supposed to be like Capricorn or something, but all I can think of is Capri Sun and those skinny cigarettes that old ladies smoke. Trust me, I hate it too!" you huff as the other three superhumans all have a hearty laugh at your expense. "And...and to think you laughed at my birds! Caprikid! That's rich!" Mr. Pigeon says as he wipes a tear from his eye and tries to stop laughing at you. "Can we just kick this guy's a- (ahem) butt already?" you ask your teammates as you get pretty annoyed with them all laughing at you. "Ok...ok... just give me a second!" Ladybug says as she pulls out her yo-yo and tries to stop laughing. "Really, Ladybug? Really? Oh, to hell with this!" you say as you jump into the air and smash Mr. Pigeon in his head with your spear promptly wiping that fucking smile off of his goofy face. "OW! It appears that fun time is over!" he says as he throws an entire flock of pigeons at you. "Aah! Disgusting flying disease bags! If I get bird flu or rabies, I'm going to ram my hoof up your ass!" you shout not giving a fuck about watching your language anymore. Ladybug throws her yo-yo at him as it wraps around his legs and she slams him into the street. Viperion plays Surfin' Bird by The Trash Men to distract Mr. Pigeon as you run up and ram him in his back with your horns knocking him forward and stumbling into Viperion as the hero smashes Mr. Pigeon in the face with his harp. "Don't laugh at me, you goofy-lookin' fuck!" you shout as you stomp on Mr. Pigeon with your hoof boots. A large flock of pigeons engulfs you halting your attack on their master as he gets back up. Mr. Pigeon blows into his birdcall making a flock of pigeons surround his hands turning them into axes. He swipes his bird axe arms at Ladybug and Viperion as you attack the flock of birds attacking you with your spear. You smack several of the pigeons away and run over to help your allies. Mr. Pigeon smacks you away with one of his bird axe arms as Viperion smashes him in his face with his harp again. "Lucky charm!" Ladybug shouts as she casts her yo-yo into the air making a swarm of ladybugs appear and drop a large container into her hands. "Glue? What am I supposed to do with this?" she asks as she looks around. "Me and Caprikid (chuckles) will distract Mr. Pigeon while you figure it out!" Viperion says stifling a giggle at your goofy name. "Seriously, Viperion? It's not THAT funny." you say with annoyance. Mr. Pigeon gets back up as several flocks of pigeons take the form of bomber planes and kamikaze you and Viperion as they explode into clouds of angry pecking birds. "OW! Damnit! Watch the horns, you disgusting flying Rats!" you say as you swat at hundreds of birds with your spear.
"Caprikid (giggle) I have an idea!" Ladybug shouts pointing at a large fan and a sack of birdseed. "Right! Me and Viperion got this!" you say as you run towards the bag. Viperion plays Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd on his guitar to distract Mr. Pigeon as Ladybug opens the container of glue and splatters Mr. Pigeon with the sticky substance. You run up and point the large fan at Mr. Pigeon and throw the birdseed into it making the fan blow it onto him and stick to the glue. "Seriously, Viperion? Free Bird? What the fuck is wrong with you?" you shout at the hero. "What? It had to be something bird-themed!" Viperion says defensively. "Wait! No! My lovelies, it's me! Don't attack me! I'm one of you!" Mr. Pigeon screams as his flocks of pigeons swarm over him and peck at the seeds covering his body. "Viperion, now!" Ladybug shouts as he runs up to Mr. Pigeon and rips his birdcall off of his neck and smashes it releasing the purple Akuma. "Time to de-evilize!" Ladybug says as she captures the Akuma in her yo-yo and releases it as a white one into the sky. "Goodbye little butterfly!" she says as she waves happily at the departing butterfly. "Miraculous ladybug!" she shouts as she tosses the glue into the sky making it turn into a swarm of ladybugs that repair the damage the villain caused as usual. There wasn't too much damage to speak of but the concrete was restored and Mr. Pigeon turned back into a polite-looking man wearing a suit and a hat. "Pound it!" the two heroes say before stopping and looking at you. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" you ask as you lean on your spear. "Um... you're a superhero that helped us. You kinda get to join us in our fist bump." Ladybug says as her and Viperion wait for you. You actually felt kind of honored. You'd helped the superheroes before, but they never really considered you an equal. It felt nice to be one of them and be treated with such respect. "Pound it." you smile as you join the two heroes in their victory custom. "Sorry, Ladybug. It happened again." the polite-looking man says as he takes off his hat. "We really have to stop meeting like this, Mr. Ramier. It's getting a bit monotonous." Ladybug says as she gives the man a polite handshake as her earrings beep and flash. "Ladybug, your earrings!" Viperion says pointing at the flashing earring. "Looks like it's time to bug out! I'll see YOU later, snake man." Ladybug says as she kisses Viperion on his lips and zips away on her yo-yo.
"Thanks for your help, Caprikid. You want to go grab a beer or something? We didn't use our powers, so we could get better acquainted." Viperion says with a friendly smile. "Are you hitting on me, Viperion? You'll make the bug girl mad." you smirk as you wag your finger at him remembering having sex with him when you weren't in disguise. "Hitting on you? N-No! Nothing like that! Well... maybe just a little." he says as he bites his lip. "Mmm... as much as I'd absolutely LOVE to play with your snake, I have... prior engagements. I could use your help if you're not busy though. A friend of mine is in... a bit of a bind. I need your help getting into Le Grand Paris. Maybe we'll play with each other some other time." you say to him as you look his skin-tight suit up and down enjoying the view. "Sure thing. As long as they're not akumatized, I can help. Akumas are Ladybug's department." Viperion says. "Sounds like we have a date then, Viperion." you smirk at him as you vault yourself onto the rooftops and run toward the hotel. "Hey, wait up! I'm right behind you!" Viperion says as he gives chase.
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Aventure Amoureuse