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What She'd Been Missing	By : Trillhouse Category: +G through L > The Loud House Views: 8870 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Loud House, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Y'know what, I ain't even gonna make an excuse. I have just been a very lazy boi as of late, and I apologize for the wait. Unfortunately I can't guarantee things will be any faster for a bit, as this is always a busy time of year for me.
Anyway, I'm tired so I'll keep this short. Gonna try my hardest to finish off More than a Sister next, I promise. In other news, if you haven't been to my tumblr me and Lioxdz have been collaborating on a comic, featuring none other than lil' Bobby himself. Anyway, without further ado:

The mood at breakfast was noticeably dour; unsurprising, considering what the day would hold for Loan.
The troubled girl sighed and absentmindedly picked at her food. Unsurprisingly, she didn't have much of an appetite. It had been three weeks since she'd first entered her father's life, and since then, she'd quickly adapted to her new home… and her new family. She was happy there, she was happy with them, and she didn't regret her choice to stay with them in the slightest. But today, it would be official: today, she would be saying goodbye to her mother.
It was a sobering thought, to say the least.
"Loan? Are you finished?" Ronnie asked, snapping the girl from her daze.
"Um…" Loan glanced down at her plate with a frown; she'd barely even finished half, but she just couldn't force herself to keep eating. "…Yes. Thank you. It was delicious." She said, forcing a smile. Ronnie nodded. Normally, she'd be annoyed that someone had left so much of her food untouched, but she could hardly blame the girl given the circumstances. Loan stood up to gather her dishes, but Ronnie stopped her.
"I've got it," Ronnie assured her stepdaughter. "You can go relax, okay?" Loan opened her mouth to protest before shutting it and giving a reluctant nod. In truth, she wanted to help out today just to give her some kind of distraction, but then again in her current state she was almost certain she would break something.
"A-alright. Thanks, Ronnie." She said. Ronnie offered the girl a warm smile before taking her plate into the kitchen, and Loan got to her feet. "I, um… I guess I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." She muttered.
"Sure." Lincoln replied. He and Bobby watched as she skulked out of the dining room; once she was gone, Bobby turned to him with a frown.
"Dad… is Loan gonna be okay…?" Bobby asked.
"Yeah… yeah, she'll be fine. This is a rough day for her, that's all." Lincoln said, forcing a smirk. "You go get ready for school, okay buddy?" Lincoln said with a small smile. Bobby sighed and nodded, hopping out of his chair.
"…Okay." The boy muttered as he left the dining room. Lincoln watched his son leave before getting to his feet and taking the remaining dishes into the kitchen. Ronnie stood at the sink, washing up at a noticeably slower pace than usual; even she, it seemed, was being affected by the tense atmosphere.
"Thank you." She said as Lincoln set down the dishes, a smirk crossing her face as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Some day this is going to be, huh? Don't remember the last time I was glad to have work."
"Yeah… it's going to be a tough one, but Loan's strong. She'll be fine."
"It's not just Loan I'm worried about, you know…" Ronnie said quietly. She stopped her cleaning for a moment to look at her husband, her eyes laden with concern. "Are you alright?" Lincoln frowned deeply. He had barely spoken to Lori at all the past several weeks, and while Dr. Patel may have helped ease his turmoil somewhat he was still a bit apprehensive about seeing her again… not to mention saying goodbye just as he had reconnected with her.
Somehow, the fact that bothered him only served to bother him further.
"…I'm okay." Lincoln assured her. "I will be, anyway."

Loan flipped open her 5DS and stared at the screen for a moment before shutting it with a sigh. It would still be a few hours before her mother arrived, but despite the abundance of distractions available to her she had little desire to do any of them. Her mind was a tangled mess of conflicting emotions, and it seemed there was little she could do but dwell on them.
Almost without thinking, she got to her feet and left the room. She headed downstairs just as Ronnie came out from the dining room, having finished cleaning the dishes.
"Hey there, girl. Need something?" Ronnie asked.
"No, um… no. I'm just… I don't know." Loan mumbled. Her stepmother frowned and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. She wished that she could do more to help the girl, but she knew fully well that she wasn't the right person to do so.
"You know… you should really go talk to Lincoln." Ronnie offered, gesturing towards the back door with her head. Loan looked over to see that he was sitting out on the patio. "…I think you both need each other right now." Loan felt a twinge of guilt in her heart; she had been so wrapped up in her own feelings that she hadn't even considered how her father may be taking all of this.
"I… you're right." Loan said. "I'll talk to him. Thanks, Ronnie…" Ronnie smirked and gave a small nod, patting the girl's back before walking off. Loan watched her go, and then approached the glass back door; her father turned at the sound of the door sliding open, his eyebrows rising in surprise.
"Oh… hey, Loan." He said, a gentle smile crossing his face. "How's it going?"
"Um… fine…" Loan lied, forcing the best grin she could muster at the moment. She sat down on the lawn chair beside his. It dawned on her that, despite living here for nearly a month, she'd never once set foot in the backyard. Granted, she rarely set foot outside at all, but still… it was her home, now.
"Nice day, isn't it?" Lincoln said, more of a statement than a question. Loan silently nodded; even she knew meaningless small talk when she heard it. Her father's words were little more than an attempt to break the silence… no doubt he was unsure what exactly he should say to ease the girl's mind.
"Dad… are you okay?" She asked quietly. Lincoln frowned, running his tongue along his teeth; as much as he wanted to pretend that he was fine, he couldn't. Instead, he simply took a deep breath and laid his head back against the chair.
"…I don't know, honestly." He admitted. "It's all a bit… complicated, I guess." Loan chewed her lip and nodded in understanding. "How about you?" Lincoln asked.
"The same, I guess…" Loan muttered. "I-I don't really know how I should feel. It's like… I'm still mad at her, you know? But… I don't want her to go. Even with everything that happened… the things she did… I still love her."
"Yeah…" Lincoln absent-mindedly scratched at his cheek. "Loan, do you think your mom is a bad person?" Loan thought for a moment before shaking her head.
"No, I don't… b-but that doesn't excuse anything."
"It's the same for me," Her father said. "She's not a bad person… at least, I don't think so. Even now, I still remember her as she was."
"What was she like back then…?" Loan asked, turningher head to look at him. Lincoln pursed his lips in thought.
"…Kind of a bitch, honestly." He said. Loan couldn't help but snort at the bluntness of the statement, and he let out a small chuckle himself. "She could be bossy, and petty, and even outright mean at times. We had our disagreements, and lord knows we fought a lot… but we were still close. More than anything, I remember the good times we had. Even more than… you know." Lincoln sighed. "Like I said, it's complicated." Loan frowned and opened her mouth to speak, only for the door to slide open; it was Bobby, dressed for school and with his backpack slung loosely over his shoulders. "Oh… hey, Bobby." Lincoln said with a grin. "You heading out?"
"…Yeah." He muttered as he walked over. "I'm going now." Lincoln smirked and gave his son a hug. The boy turned towards his sister, eying her up and down for a moment. She looked tired… even more so than usual. He couldn't help but be concerned.
"Bobby?" Loan tilted her head slightly in confusion. "Something wrong?" Bobby frowned and shook his head.
"…No. Um… I'll see you later. A-after school… okay?" He said softly, as though it didn't go without saying. Perhaps he was trying to reassure her that he'd be there for her.
"Yeah… see you later. Have a good time at school." Loan said with a sweet smile, which Bobby returned with a tiny smirk of his own. As much as Loan wanted to go for a hug herself, she didn't feel that their relationship had reached that point yet. Instead, she settled for a small wave. With that, Bobby walked off, being sure to close the door behind him.
"He really likes you, you know." Said her father. "I haven't seen him talk to someone so easily in a long time. Well… easily by his standards, at least…" The fact that that was considered speaking easily was a bit troubling to the girl… even now, he still stammered and mumbled when speaking with her, sometimes to the point she had difficulty understanding what exactly he was trying to say.
"Um… you said it took a long time for him to start talking, right…?" Loan asked. Lincoln sighed, giving a small nod.
"Yeah. Looking back, I'm pretty sure he could talk long before he started, but just didn't want to. Like… even around us he was too shy to say much." Lincoln's frown turned to a smile as he chuckled under his breath. "I still remember the day he started speaking. Hell, I don't think anyone would've been able to forget it."
"Oh?"
"We were watching Star Wars," Lincoln explained. "Well… I was watching it. I guess something about it just kind of… drew his interest, and he sat down and watched with me. Like I said, he was five, but I figured it was tame enough for him. Besides, I'd never seen him so enraptured by something." Loan perked up a bit, clearly interested in the story. "We finished 'A New Hope', and he looked so disappointed that it was over that I couldn't help but keep going. So I put on Empire, and again, he's fascinated by it. Hell, even I thought it was boring as a kid, but he couldn't take his eyes off it. And then we reached the climax, and…" Lincoln bit his lip, trying his best to hold back a laugh.
"What? What happened?" Loan asked, leaning forward slightly.
"S-sorry. So, we get to the 'I am your father' scene and, swear to God… this silent little kid just jumps to his feet and shouts 'What the fuck?!' as loud as he can." Loan clasped a hand over her mouth, one again letting out a snort of laughter.
"N-No way."
"Swear on my life," Lincoln assured her. "I guess we'd gotten used to swearing around him… we didn't really think he was taking it in, you know? I was too shocked to scold him about it. Hell, I was more relieved than anything else. And he kept going, too… just, like, ranting about the movie. Analyzing it. Using all these big words, just going on and on. To this day, I've never seen him get that excited about anything. And after that, well, he was pretty much the Bobby you know now."
"Wow…" Loan muttered. "That's really something. I've never really seen him get worked up like that… he always seems so calm."
"Bobby can get… passionate about things." Her father explained. "A little too passionate, honestly. Say that Kirk is better than Picard, and… actually, y'know what, don't do that." He sighed, scratching the back of his head. "…That was one hell of an Easter, that's for sure." Loan giggled into her palm; quite frankly, she had a hard time picturing her little brother getting legitimately angry. In any case, the story had lightened the tense atmosphere considerably. She sat back against the chair, looking out upon the backyard.
It IS a pretty nice day, Loan thought.

"So where you headed to, miss?" Said the middle-aged man in the driver's seat. Lori looked up from her phone.
"Hazeltucky." She said with a note of irritation in her voice. "I told you."
"M-my apologies, m'aam." The man stammered. "I meant where you're traveling. If that's not too personal, of course." Lori groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose; of course he knew where they were going. He'd been driving them there for the past hour.
"…I'm sorry. I… haven't had much sleep." She said with a sigh. "Um… I'm headed to Japan."
"No worries. Japan, eh? I've been there myself… lovely country." The man said. "Business?"
"Yes and no. I'm moving there, actually… transferring." Now that the day had come, Lori couldn't help but feel anxious about the change. She'd only ever left the country a few times in her life… to move to Japan, where few even spoke English, was an almost absurd notion. In retrospect, she never should have expected Loan to accept it, and in fact pushing such a change upon her was what had driven her away in the first place. Still, as hard as it was to accept, she knew her daughter was happier now. That, at least, provided her some solace.
But not much.
"Um, I'm sorry, but I'm not really in the mood to talk."
"I understand. Let me know if you need anything, miss." The man fell silent, leaving Lori alone with her thoughts.

After what felt like both too long and too short of a time, they arrived. Lori felt far more apprehensive than she expected to; would Loan forgive her? Would she even talk to her?
"Thank you," She said to the driver. "It may be a while, so…"
"No worries," The driver replied with a polite smile. "Take as long as you need. I'll be here." Lori nodded and opened the door stepping out into the brisk Autumn air. The tightness in her chest only grew as she approached the front door… what would Lincoln say? The last time she'd seen him he'd been frightened of her, not that she could blame him. She'd done a horrible thing to him, and now she was paying the price. Not the price she deserved, but a price nonetheless.
Lori paused in front of the door, shutting her eyes and taking a deep breath before exhaling. This was it… no point in hesitating further. She reached out and rang the doorbell.
Lincoln and his daughter had been awaiting Lori's arrival in the living room for the past hour. Ronnie had already left for work, a bit early in fact… not wanting any chance of seeing 'that puta' face-to-face again. She'd been sure to give her husband a bigger hug than usual before departing. Even Loan had gotten a quick hug and an assurance that everything would be okay, a gesture that the girl had seemed to appreciate. But now, there was little more than the rapid clicking of Loan's fidget cube to break the silence; normally, Lincoln would find this annoying. In fact, he did find it annoying, but he couldn't bring himself to ask her to stop. Besides, he had been tapping his finger against his knee in time with the clicking, which at least gave him something to focus on. So great was the silence that the doorbell was enough to make them both jump. They exchanged a glance.
"I, uh… I guess this is it." Lincoln said, only receiving a nod in response. Lincoln hesitated a moment, chewing his lip as he looked towards the front door. Finally, he got to his feet with a small grunt and walked to the door. He opened it to see, as expected, his oldest sister standing before him.
"…Lincoln." Lori said quietly, barely able to bring herself to look at the man.
"Lori." Her brother replied. "You look tired." He added, taking note of the bags under the woman's eyes. She looked away, letting out a small chuckle.
"So do you," She muttered, earning her a smirk from Lincoln.
"Um… come on in." He stood aside, allowing Lori to enter; she gave a nod of thanks before heading inside. She tensed up upon seeing her daughter, who wasn't even looking in her direction.
"Hello, Loan." Lori said in a soft tone.
"…Hey, mom." Loan kept her gaze trained somewhere off to the side, unable to bring herself to look her mother in the eye. She had stopped clicking her fidget cube, instead clutching it so tightly that her knuckles turned white. She wasn't sure why she was so on edge… she knew fully well that she shouldn't be. Her mother wasn't going to hurt her, nor was she going to hurt her father. She had never intended to in the first place.
But it didn't change the fact that she had.
"So…" Lori began, sitting down at the far end of the l-shaped couch. "I… hear you've been doing well here." Loan gave a small nod. "That's good… I'm glad." Lori folded her hands in her lap, averting her eyes as well; neither was sure exactly what to say. She looked to her brother for assistance, but quite frankly he wasn't quite sure what to say either. Nonetheless, he sat down beside his daughter and cleared his throat.
"So, Lori… are you ready?" He asked. "I mean… Japan. Like… wow, you know?" Lori looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"…Yes, I suppose 'like, wow' is one way to put it." Lori said. "It's a big change, to be sure… I have to admit, now that the time has come, I'm not sure if I am ready. Though… I suppose it's far too late for second thoughts."
"Have you told the others?"
"Only Mom and Dad. And Luna knows, of course." Lori said. "I thought about contacting the others, but… that's one hell of a call to make, you know? 'Hey sis, I know it's been years since we talked but I'm moving to Japan'. Especially Leni… I doubt she'd take it too well. It's for the best that I just… go, I think." Lincoln frowned.
"…You really think that's for the best, Lori?" He asked; Lori looked away, her brow furrowing slightly.
"I don't know," She admitted. "I really don't know. But… I literally can't bring myself to talk to them now. Maybe that's selfish. Honestly, it probably is. But I just can't." She noticed Loan's eyes narrow, even if she wasn't looking in her direction… no doubt the girl would have had some choice words for her, had she been bold enough to speak them.
Another awkward silence fell over the room. Again, none were sure what they should be saying… it was as though there were too much that needed to be said, and yet so much that had been said already. But again, it was Lincoln who broke the silence.
"Okay, look…" Lincoln muttered, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm sure we all have a lot to get off our chests. So… there's really no sense in dancing around things." Lori paused a moment, folding her hands in her lap as she considered her next words; finally, she let out a sigh and hung her head.
"I… I don't think I can say any more than I have. I could apologize, but no matter how many times I say it, it would never be enough. I could beg for forgiveness, but the truth is I don't deserve it, nor do I expect it."
"Lori-"
"I've hurt you both. I've failed you both, time and time again… as a mother, as a sister, as… as a person. And I just… I keep doing it." Lori looked to her daughter, who was hugging her knees to her chest with a troubled expression. "Loan, sweetie… I've made so many mistakes. I've done terrible things to you, and through my negligence I enabled something even worse. I know that I'll never be able to make up for that. But… I want you to know that I do love you, more than anything. I always did, even back when… when I drank. You've been the one good thing to come out of all of this, and I've come to realize just how much I took you for granted."
Lori paused, awaiting some kind of response from the girl… but received none. Loan did little more but shift in place, hugging her legs even tighter. The girl jumped slightly as she felt a hand on her shoulder; it was her father's, of course. His gentle eyes met hers.
"Loan… do you have anything you want to say?" He gently asked.
Go on. Beg mommy to take you back. You know that's what you want.
Loan shut her eyes, taking a moment to force the thought out of her mind. That wasn't what she wanted… she knew it wasn't.
Lie all you want, Loan. Deep down, you know I'm right.
Loan opened her eyes, briefly flicking her gaze towards her mother before looking to her father. She swallowed and gave a small nod.
"Um… c-can I talk to mom alone for a bit…?"

Bobby sat before his monitor in the school's computer lab, bored out of his mind; while most other students saw this as a welcome reprieve from their usual classwork, for Bobby it was just redundant. The 'edutainment' games proved to be neither entertaining nor particularly educational to the boy, while the critical thinking exercises also failed to challenge him in any meaningful capacity. In fact, he had already finished his assignment and now had little to do but simply sit there in silence. As much as he would like to get back to reading his book, he knew that doing so would simply result in a scolding from Mrs. Heathers.
Of course, there was more than simple boredom preoccupying the boy's mind. Today Loan would be saying goodbye to her mother, no doubt the mysterious woman he'd glimpsed the night she had arrived. He still had so many unanswered questions about the woman, not to mention about Loan herself… questions that had been mostly dodged by his father, and in fact he himself had nearly forgotten over the past few weeks. But now, those questions were at the forefront of his mind: who was she? Why, beyond her resemblance to Loan, did she seem so familiar? And, perhaps biggest of all… how could his sister be mistaken for a cousin?
Bobby leaned forward and pretended to be hard at work as Mrs. Heathers passed by, only to lean back again once she was gone. He discretely opened a new tab and typed 'what does it mean when my cousin is also my sister' into the search bar, crossing his fingers and hoping that this wouldn't trigger any sort of content blocker. Thankfully, it did not, and he quickly found several promising results… mostly similar questions asked by others on various sites. Bobby took a quick glance in both directions to make sure that his teacher wasn't nearby, then clicked the first one that caught his eye: 'can my half-brother be my cousin?'. Granted, she was his half-sister, but he doubted that would make much of a difference.
From what he could gather, such a thing was possible if one father were to have a child with two sisters, or vice-versa. The problem there was that his mother had no sister, and his father had no brother… and besides, he already knew that she was Lincoln's daughter. Loan shared some pretty clear traits with others in his father's side of the family, after all.
…Meaning that her mother did as well.
Bobby's brow knitted in confusion. Even though he hadn't had a very close look, he remembered that sense of familiarity he had gotten from her… as if he had seen her somewhere before. But as much as he racked his brain, he couldn't place it. He knew all his relatives… all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins on both sides of the family.
Except one.
He was vaguely aware that his father had one sister he had never met. He had noticed her in old family photos before, and heard her mentioned in passing: 'Laurie', if his memory served him right. Whenever he asked about her, he'd simply been told that she didn't talk to them anymore. But why? He tried to recall what the girl had looked like… fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes… all common traits in the family. Loan had them too, and even the shape of her hair was similar… in fact, it was so similar that, were she to actually care for it, it may very well look identical.
The more the pieces fell into place, the more questions he had, and the deeper he researched the matter the more his stomach twisted into knots. By the time the bell rang, he was even more confused than when he had started. There was no doubt in his mind that this 'Laurie' was Loan's mother… and he didn't doubt that they shared a father, either.
Needless to say, something didn't quite add up here.

Somehow, Lincoln's absence only served to amplify the tense atmosphere. Neither Lori nor her daughter could bring themselves to look at one another, nor did either one speak for quite some time. It was as though there were a crushing pressure tightening around Lori's heart, and she couldn't help but wonder if this was how Loan felt during her attacks. For her part, despite having asked to talk one-on-one in the first place, Loan wasn't even sure where she should begin.
Run into mommy's arms. Beg her to take you with her. She'll keep you safe.
"Loan?" Thankfully, Lori was the first to speak; she was anxiously wringing her hands in her lap as she searched for the right words. "I've… done a lot of thinking, since you left." She said. "It's been so much quieter… so much emptier without you in my life. And… I don't know…" She sighed and shook her head sadly. "I'm glad that you're happy here. I really am. But… it hurts a little, too. Knowing that Lincoln has been a better parent to you in a few weeks than I have in twenty-one years… it just goes to show how badly I've failed you as a mother."
"…Don't say that." Loan muttered. "You haven't-"
"I have." Lori interjected. "I've failed you, time and time again. I've hurt you literally more times than I can count. Lincoln… he'll never do that. I know he won't. And if I'd… if I'd told him the truth earlier... you could have been spared so much pain."
He'll hurt you sooner or later. Just like everyone else.
Loan's gaze focused on her mother. The woman looked utterly defeated, her proud and dignified façade stripped away; this was the true Lori Loud. Not an upper-class socialite, nor a snobbish professional businesswoman. She was simply a woman haunted by her mistakes, forcing herself to put on airs to hide the pain she truly felt inside. Loan frowned as her conflicted emotions once again rose to the surface.
"…I remember it all, you know." Loan turned away from her mother to stare aimlessly at the floor. "All of it. Every time you screamed at me, every time you hit me… every bruise, every slap, every cigarette burn. I-I remember it all…" With each accusation, the vice around Lori's heart only grew tighter and tighter. It was all true, of course… at the height of her alcoholism, she had been an absolute monster.
"Loan, I-"
"But," Loan cut in. "Do you… do you know what I remember above everything else? Every time you were there for me. E-every time you held me when I woke up screaming… every time you called in sick just to make sure I was okay. That's what… what I remember..." She bit her lip and tried to force back her tears; she couldn't break down now. Not when she'd finally mustered up the nerve to speak her mind. "I-I don't think you're a bad mom, and I don't think you're a bad person. But… it doesn't change the things you did. You did hurt me, and you hurt dad too."
"I never-"
"You never meant to, I know." Loan said. She forced herself to look her mother in the eye, seeing that she was faring no better... in fact, her makeup was already starting to run as tears streamed down her face. It hurt to see her mother like this, but she had to let this out… it was the only chance she had to do so. "You never meant to, b-but you still did them. And I'm…. I'm not ready to forgive that. I don't know if ever will be. At least… not entirely." Lori nodded in understanding.
"I, um… I didn't come expecting forgiveness, Loan. Not from you, and not from your father." She said. "I just… I needed to see you again. I needed to say goodbye." Loan tensed up at her words, clutching her sleeve tightly. 'Goodbye'. Despite her conflicted feelings towards her mother, it was something she still wasn't ready to hear.
Stop fighting this, Loan. You want to be with your mother… you want to be coddled like the child you are.
"Sweetie, I… um…" Lori sniffed and got a tissue from her purse, using it to dab at her running eyeliner. "I just need to know one thing. Are you… sure this is what you want? A-are you sure you're going to be happy with this…?" Loan wasn't sure why she was hesitant to answer… she knew that she'd made the right choice.
Japan, America, what does it matter? You never leave your fucking room. Whether you waste away here or there, it makes no difference.
"…I am." Loan said quietly. "It's… it's an adjustment. I'm still adjusting, even now. But… it's home. I have a dad, now… I have a great little brother. He's… he's so sweet. You'd like him." She added with a smile.
You're intruding on their lives.
"And Ronnie's great, too… she's been so nice to me."
Her patience will run out.
"S-so… I don't regret my choice. I'm happy here, and I… I want to stay. Even if that means I have to…"
Stop this. Stop lying to yourself. Run to mommy. Do it NOW.
"I-I have to…"
Listen to me, Loan.
"I…"
Listen. To. Me.
Loan felt a familiar tightness in her chest, and her eyes went wide; no, she thought. Not now. She shut her eyes and began breathing rapidly. Despite her best efforts to keep it together, Lori immediately noticed the change.
"Loan…?" Lori got to her feet, her voice laced with concern for her daughter. "Loan, sweetie, are you okay?"
LISTEN TO ME!
Lori rushed to her daughter's side, but Loan held up a hand to stop her. She took a deep breath through her nose, then exhaled. She was fine. She could handle this… it was minor. She was used to this. And no matter what that little voice in the back of her mind said, she didn't need her mother to take care of her. Not anymore.
"…I-I have to let you go." Loan muttered.

Lincoln sighed and set down his stylus before leaning back in his chair. He had been trying to get a bit of work done while Loan and Lori said their goodbyes, but he couldn't stay focused on it. A part of him wished he had insisted to stay by his daughter's side, but he knew that would be overbearing of him… if Loan wanted to speak to her mother on her own, who was he to stop her? Luckily, he wouldn't have to wait long; his phone soon vibrated, letting out the ding of a received message. He checked it to find that it was from Lori: 'We're finished', it said. Lincoln got to his feet with a grunt.
He walked downstairs to find the two women standing together near the door; Lori was saying something to her daughter, who simply gave a small nod in response. They looked up as he arrived, and Lincoln could see just how badly this was affecting them both… they looked as though they could break down crying at any moment. Hell, Loan looked nearly as bad as she had the night she'd arrived.
"…Hey. You guys, uh… done?" He asked. Lori nodded while her daughter remained silent, her eyes downcast.
"Yes… we've said all that can be said, I think." Lori said. "And I should be going, anyway… I'd rather get to the airport early, just to be safe." It seemed a little too early, if anything: it was only three o' clock, and her flight wasn't until seven. Still, he could hardly blame her… the tension in the air was so thick it could be cut with a knife.
"Alright, then." Lincoln felt that he should say more than that, but he wasn't sure exactly what. Lori turned back to her daughter, wringing her purse strap anxiously.
"…I guess this is it, then." She said quietly, getting nothing more than a small nod in response from Loan. Lori reached out to hug her daughter, but the girl backed away and shook her head; that simple refusal was all it took to break what little resolve she had left. For a moment she was frozen in place with her arms outstretched, trembling as tears started to flow freely down her cheeks. Loan swallowed and forced back her own tears.
Why, Loan?
Though a big part of her wanted to jump into her mother's embrace, she couldn't… not yet. She wasn't ready for that, knowing what those hands had done.
She loves you.
She'd loved Lincoln, too.
She was drunk.
It wasn't an excuse.
She'll keep you safe.
So would her father.
He'll hurt you too.
Her mother already had.
She's going to leave you.
Loan knew.
She loosely crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, her eyes downcast; there was no animosity in her expression. No hatred, no anger… there was only sadness. But she wouldn't cry. For once, she would be strong.
Lori choked back a sob and clasped a hand over her mouth. She'd told herself that she would be prepared for this, but she wasn't… hell, it was foolish of her to assume she would be. Her daughter wouldn't even touch her, and she could hardly blame her. Lincoln felt a twinge of pain in his heart as he watched his older sister struggle to regain her composure.
"Lori-"
"I-it's fine…" Lori assured him. She wiped her tears away and forced a small, unconvincing smile. "It's fine. These things… take time." She looked to her daughter once more. "Well, Loan… I… I guess this is goodbye."
"…Yeah."
Don't go.
"Goodbye, then. F-for now, at least… I'll see you when I see you."
"Okay."
Please, don't go.
Lori chewed her lip,glancing away from her daughter for a brief moment.
"I love you," She said quietly. Loan's brow furrowed and she clutched her sleeve tightly.
"I…"
I love you too.
"…know."
Lori wasn't particularly surprised by her response, not that it made it hurt any less. She took a deep breath and nodded in understanding.
"I'll, uh… I'll walk you out." Lincoln offered.
"…Thank you, Lincoln." Lori said; in truth, she was more grateful for the offer than she could possibly express.
Please don't leave me.
As Lincoln walked her out, Lori took one final glance over her shoulder at her daughter. The girl's head was tilted downwards, her hair blocking any view of her face. Lori sighed and looked away just as her brother shut the door.
"I'm sure she'll come around, Lori." Lincoln said in a gentle tone. Lori sniffled and wiped at her eyes again. She knew she would, of course… just as she knew Loan still loved her.
Still, it would have been nice to hear.
"…Like I said, these things take time." Lori took another deep breath to calm herself, then turned to face her brother. "Has she… been well?"
"Yeah," Lincoln said. "She's been… enjoying it here, I think. And she gets along great with Bobby… you'd think they'd known each other for years." He added with a small chuckle, to which Lori couldn't help but smirk.
"She always did want a little brother or sister." She said.
"She's been great, really." Lincoln assured her. "And… I'm glad she's here."
"…I'm glad too." Lori said in barely above a whisper. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two siblings; both shifted awkwardly, finding it difficult to look each other in the eye. Finally, Lori cleared her throat and stood up straight, doing her best to put up her dignified façade once more. "Well then, Lincoln… I guess this is goodbye." She extended her hand for a shake, as though this were some sort of business arrangement; but, to her surprise, Lincoln reached out and pulled her into a hug. For a moment, she was simply frozen in shock. Then, she tearfully returned her brother's embrace. For some time they remained like that in silence, Lincoln ignoring the spreading wet spot on his shirt from Lori's tears.
"Lori, listen…" He began as he gently pulled away from the hug. "I can't forgive or forget what you did to me… and I don't know if I ever can. But that doesn't mean I don't want a relationship with you. Promise me you won't be a stranger… promise you'll call, at least." Lori sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, giving him a nod of agreement.
"…I-I will." She said. The two siblings shared a smile before Lori cleared her throat. "Well, Lincoln… take care of yourself. And… promise me you'll take good care of my baby girl."
"I will." He said. Lori gave him another quick hug before walking to her limo; the driver was already standing beside the door of course, and opened it for her as she approached.
"Thank you," She said, and he tipped his hat before heading back to the driver's seat. Lori rolled down her window.
"Lemme know how Japan is, okay?" Lincoln said with a smirk. "I'd really like to go there some day. And y'know, if it isn't too much trouble…"
"Yes, yes… I'll send you nerdy anime crap." Lori groaned, rolling her eyes as her younger brother pumped his fist in triumph. "I'll be seeing you, Lincoln."
"Yeah. And, Lori… you take care of yourself too, okay?" He said.
"…I'll try." Lori said with a chuckle before rolling up the window. Lincoln watched as the car drove off and down the street, not moving from his spot until she was out of sight; then, he finally let out a long sigh, the smirk quickly fading from his face. It felt odd to be saying goodbye just as his sister had re-entered his life, but at least this time he knew it wasn't for good. Despite everything, he still wanted her in his life. Lincoln skulked back up the driveway and opened the front door to find that Loan was still exactly where they had left her. She looked up as her father entered, the despair evident in her blue eyes.
"H-hey, dad." She muttered. "Is, um… is she gone…?" Lincoln nodded, and Loan looked downcast once more. Lincoln walked over to the girl, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Loan…" Before he could finish, Loan gently pulled away.
"Sorry, dad… I think I just want to go to my room for a while. I-if that's alright."
"…I understand. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?" The two exchanged a small smile before Loan turned and made her way up the stairs, counting each step as she walked.

"Is everything alright, miss?" The chauffer asked, taking note of his passenger's sullen demeanor.
"…Yes. Just… saying goodbye is difficult." Lori said.
"I understand." The man said, wisely choosing not to press further. Lori sighed and absentmindedly looked out the window as they drove through the streets of Hazeltucky; it seemed that school had just gotten out for the day, and as such traffic was considerably slow. Then, she spotted something, or rather someone familiar in the distance.
"Um… excuse me, but can you pull over?"
"Miss?"
"Just for a moment," She said, and the driver did as he was asked, pulling up along the sidewalk. Lori got out of the car just as a small boy on a bicycle was about to pass by. "E-excuse me! Bobby!" The boy screeched to a halt, turning to see who had called his name… only to find that, to his shock, it was the very woman who had been occupying his thoughts for the better part of the day. "Excuse me… you're Bobby, right?" She asked with a gentle smile.
"…Y-yes…" Bobby mumbled. The little boy hopped off his bike and turned to face her, shrinking back slightly as Lori squatted down to eye level... or as much as she could manage, anyway. Bobby was anything but a tall boy.
"Hello, Bobby. Do you… know who I am?" Lori asked softly. Bobby swallowed and gave a small nod.
"…You're Loan's mom, right…?"
"Yes, I am." Lori said. "My name's-"
"Laurie." Lori blinked, surprised by his quick response… she hadn't expected him to know her name.
"Um… I'm Lori, yes." She said. Bobby looked away, his brow furrowing in shock; she'd confirmed his suspicions, but he was only more confused than ever. "A-are you alright?" Lori asked.
"…You're Lori… m-my aunt."
"Yes, I'm-"
"You're… dad's sister…" Bobby muttered as the pieces started to fall into place. He looked back up at her with wide, troubled eyes. "…B-but you're… Loan's mom. So… is Loan my sister, or my cousin…?"
"I…" Lori gasped as she realized what he was saying.
"I-i-is she both?!" Bobby sputtered. Lori simply stared at the boy with her mouth agape, not that she needed to answer… her silence spoke volumes. "That's… not s-supposed to happen..."
"No…" Lori agreed, shaking her head sadly. "…It's not." Bobby stared at her in silence. He was smart for his age, but he was still a little boy… and there was a lot here that he didn't fully understand. But what he did understand was that whatever had happened to Loan, whatever had happened to his parents… this woman was the root of all of it. Bobby huffed and turned away, walking off with his bike in tow. "Bobby? W-wait…!"
"…Stay away from us." Bobby grumbled, hopping back on his bike and pedaling off. He didn't look back even once… he just wanted to be as far away from his aunt as possible. Bobby may not have known her, and in all honesty she'd seemed nice… but he didn't like her.
He pedaled home as fast as his legs would allow, tearing up the driveway so quickly that he was barely able to screech to a halt before crashing into the garage door. He punched in the code only for the door to, once again, get stuck halfway open. Bobby sighed and ducked under, dragging his bike behind him. He propped it up in its spot and headed inside, this time not even bothering to try and close the garage door.
Bobby found his father sitting on the couch, watching a golf tournament… a sure sign that he wasn't really 'watching' so much as desperately needing something else to focus on, as evidenced by the fact that the mere sound of the laundry room door closing was enough to catch his attention.
"Oh… hey, buddy." Lincoln greeted his son with a smile. "How was school?"
"…Fine." Bobby mumbled, shuffling his way over. He frowned as he looked up at his father; even Bobby knew stress when he saw it. "Are you okay…?"
"Yeah, it's, uh… it's just been an emotional day." Lincoln said with a sigh. "Goodbyes are always difficult, you know…?"
"…I guess." The boy mumbled. As much as he wanted to question his father about his earlier discovery, something told him that both his father and Loan had had a rough enough time as is. There would be time for that later. "I… I'm gonna go do my homework, so…"
"Oh…Bobby." Lincoln said in a soft tone. "Listen… you should probably give Loan some space tonight. She's, you know… she's had a day."
"Is she alright…?" Bobby asked.
"She will be." Lincoln assured him. "Alright, go on. Maybe we'll watch something later, what do you say?"
"…Sure." Bobby said with a smirk. His father ruffled his hair and he walked off, heading up the stairs to his room. Loan's door was shut and there was no sound coming from within; usually, he would be able to hear some sort of game or anime from inside, but not tonight. He couldn't help but feel concerned, but he decided to do as he was told and give her space.
Bobby pulled off his hoodie and laid it on his bed before stepping out of his shoes and neatly setting them aside. He opened his backpack, fished out his homework, and sat down at his desk to get to work.
Or… try to, at any rate. He'd only finished about half the worksheet before he stopped, leaning away from the desk with a sigh. He'd gotten so used to Loan's presence over the past few weeks that the silence was almost deafening. Beyond that, he was worried about her… his father had clearly been rattled by the day's events, and he had no doubt that his sister was faring worse. Bobby chewed his lip in hesitation for a moment, then slid out of his chair.
Loan couldn't sleep. Not that she was really trying to… she wasn't trying to do much of anything, in fact. Her fidget cube lay beside her, unused… even that was too much effort for her right now.
Loan shut her eyes tightly as someone gently knocked on her door. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now.
"Loan…? It's me…"
Well… she supposed she could make one exception.
"C-come in…" Loan said as she sat upright. The door opened and Bobby shuffled in; Loan couldn't help but smile as she saw him, half-hearted though it may be. "Hey, Bobby… um, h-how was school?"
"…It was fine." He said quietly. He approached her side of the bed, looking up at his sister with a concerned expression. "How are you, though…?"
"I'm… okay. You don't need to worry about me." Loan assured him, but he wasn't convinced… he could hear her voice wavering as she spoke.
"I am, though." Bobby said, climbing up onto the bed and sitting down beside her. "You look sad." Loan sniffed and averted her eyes. Bobby took a moment to look over the girl… maybe she was both his sister and his cousin, but it didn't matter to him.
"I, um…" Loan muttered. "I… said goodbye to my mom today."
"…I know." Bobby said. Loan chewed her lip and wrung her hands in her lap.
"S-she wasn't perfect… a-and I 'm still mad at her about a lot of things." Loan explained. "But I… I don't want her to go…" Her little brother frowned as she choked back a sob; he scooted a bit closer and reached out to pat her back, only to suddenly find himself swept into a tight hug. Bobby yelped and fell back onto the bed, his sister burying her face into his chest and beginning to cry loudly. Well, more 'inelegant blubbering' than crying, as she released all of the emotions she'd been forcing back all day. It was as though he were a pillow or a big teddy bear rather than a young boy. "I-I want my mom…!" She whimpered.
"Um… i-it's okay." He said softly; he gently patted the back of her head. He cringed slightly at the damp sensation on his chest, and hoped that her tears weren't messing up his favorite Doctor Who t-shirt… then again, he supposed he didn't really care that much. She clearly needed to get all this out, so he simply rubbed the back of her head until she began to calm down. "Are you… okay, Loan?" He asked, once her sobs had petered out into the occasional sniffle or hiccup.
No response.
"Loan…?" Bobby tilted his head to find that her eyes were shut… the girl had fallen asleep on his chest. He frowned and squirmed slightly, trying to wriggle out of his big sister's grasp; Loan simply hugged him tighter, grumbling something unclear in her sleep. Bobby sighed in defeat and laid his head back against the bed. It didn't seem like he was going anywhere for a while, but he wasn't about to wake the girl. Besides, it wasn't like he was uncomfortable… and if this was the best he could do to comfort her, so be it.
Besides… he thought as he shut his eyes. I guess I could use a nap too.
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What She'd Been Missing