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The Epic of Dib	By : Fuzzbeast Category: +G through L > Invader Zim > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2991 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: "I do not own Invader Zim or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story."

Chapter List
- 1-Ch. 1
- 2-Ch. 2
- 3-Ch. 3
- 4-Ch. 4
- 5-Ch. 5
- 6-Ch. 6
- 7-Ch. 7
- 8-Ch. 8
- 9-Ch. 9
- 10-Ch. 10
- 11-Ch. 11 (Bonus Chapter/Deleted Scenes)
- 7
- 8
- 9
Author Note: This is the beginning of chapter 8 of this story. Warnings for gay alien sex, with Dib/Skoodge this time. Fun stuff! Oh, and I made up Dib's middle name, don't sweat it...
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Chapter 8:
Work was progressing well. I had spent more time thinking hard about how to take down the Irken Empire, and more importantly, keep them under control once they were conquered. The first part was easy, all we needed to do was amass a fleet big enough to defeat them. The other part though... We'd need some sort of long-term plan to keep them from growing bitter and rising up again. I still didn't approve of Lard Nar's idea of massive genocide, even though that would be one solution... The more I thought about it, the more my mind kept drifting back to the Control Brains. They were essentially just programs that someone made, so that meant that someone could unmake them...
I decided to take a break from my thoughts to find Zim; I needed help with a little problem of mine. I walked over to the lab portion of the ship and sure enough, there he was. "Hey Zim, I need your help with something." "Hmm?" he said, turning away from his work. "My glasses are getting all scratched up, and I can barely see, so I need some new ones." Zim walked over and carefully removed my glasses, inspecting them. "You wear these to correct your vision, right?" he said. I nodded. "On Irk, if you had defective eyes they would just replace them with bionic ones, like I have," he said thoughtfully. "Um, Zim," I replied, "I love you sweetheart, but I'm not ready to let you rip out my eyes and put in new ones." Zim made a 'humphing' sound and turned his attention back to the glasses. "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to make a new copy of these..." He examined them more closely. "These are just made of glass, with a concave shape, contained in this metal frame, correct?" he asked. "Yes, that's pretty much it, except most glasses aren't really made of glass, they are made out of a clear plastic." Zim nodded to himself. "I know how to make plastic... I'm thinking I could suspend the molten plastic in a stasis field and spin it at just the right angle to produce the concave shape needed..." he muttered to himself. I couldn't help but laugh. Zim looked up at me, giving me his typical one eye squinted look. "Oh, Zim, that's why I love you!" I said between my laughter. He looked at me in confusion and said, "Because I possess a stasis field?" "NO!" I said, "because you always find the most complicated way to do anything!" "Well, how would you do this, then?" he asked huffily. "Just start with a block of plastic and grind it into the right shape. That'd be easier." The look of understanding dawning on Zim's face was priceless. "Oh..." he said slowly. "Okay, Dib, I'll get right to work on that!" He took my glasses and placed them in a scanner machine. I squinted as I watched the machine run a lazer over the glasses, building a 3-D computer model of their exact shape for reference. "Okay, Dib, here you go," Zim said as he handed my glasses back. I made a move towards the door.
"Oh, Dib, wait, before you go, I have a gift for you." "Hmm?" I said. He turned to his desk and picked up a small blaster gun and a belt holster. "Here you go, Dib. A commander needs to carry a weapon, so this gun is for you. It's a lazer gun and shouldn't have the kick back that a projectile weapon does. You'll like it!" I put it on and thanked him, giving him a hug before I left the room.
I decided to go check on Skoodge after that. I finally found him in the generator room, still working on improvements. Today, I noticed he was wearing a necklace. It seemed to be made of bones, possibly teeth of some creature. The central pendant was intricately carved in a beautiful swirling abstract design. He finally noticed me and turned to greet me. "Oh, hello, sir!" he said with a salute. "Hey Skoodge," I replied easily. "I was just admiring your necklace." "Oh," Skoodge said with a little blush, "Thank you, sir. I made it from Hogulus teeth. Zim and I were on a training planet and he left me to deal with a wild Hogulus because he trusts in me, and I managed to kill it. So, I made a necklace from it's teeth." I didn't bother to tell Skoodge that Zim probably left him there not because he trusted him, but because Zim can be an asshole sometimes, especially before we got together and I rubbed off on him (in all the right places, woo!). "That's a really cool necklace," I said to Skoodge, who blushed more furiously from the praise. "Did you carve that center pendant yourself?" "Yes, sir, I did." "It's really good. You're very talented," I said to him with a smile. Skoodge just blushed even harder, before he lifted the necklace over his head, holding it out to me. "Here you go, sir, I want you to have it." "Huh?" I said in confusion, "Oh, no, I didn't mean to take it from you..." "Oh, that's okay sir," he replied, "I really want you to have it." "Well, alright," I said and I took it from him, putting it on. "You look good..." Skoodge said quietly, his gaze fixed on me. "Thank you, Skoodge," I said earnestly. He saluted again, and his sleeve slid down a bit, exposing a small scar on his arm.
I just couldn't help it, my curiosity about those scars had been mounting for some time. I decided to just ask Skoodge about them. "Hey Skoodge, where did you get all those scars?" "Huh?" he said. I stepped up closer. "These," I said as I traced the line of the scar with my fingertip. I could feel Skoodge tremble slightly under my touch. "Oh, those? They're scars from my surgeries," he said. "Huh? What surgeries?" I asked. "Oh, almost all Irkens get cybernetic implants to improve their strength, speed or other capabilities. For example, ocular implants are standard issue for invaders." I felt a bit confused. "But Zim doesn't have any of those scars that I can see..." Skoodge looked briefly surprised. "Oh, he must've paid the extra fee to have them removed with laser treatments. I didn't bother to..." "Oh, didn't feel like shelling out the money?" Skoodge looked a bit sad now. "Oh, no, I could've afforded it if I wanted to, but the doctor lady, she, uh, advised me not to..." "Oh, why?" I asked, genuinely curious. He looked downward and frowned. "She told me I was already rather ugly and I shouldn't bother because it'd be a waste of my money." Wow. I was utterly dumbstruck by how mean that was. "Wow, Skoodge, that was an incredibly mean thing for her to say to you! What did you say to her afterwards?" "Oh, nothing, really... I just said 'okay'." That was just sad... "You didn't say anything to her, after she said that to you?" He fidgeted slightly. "Well, what she said was true... It did make me kind of sad to hear her say it though. I rather thought she was pretty... I mean, I know she was out of my league and all, but it still made me kind of sad..."
I couldn't believe how mean that bitch was to poor Skoodge! In fact, it seemed like he got picked on a lot back on Irk for being short and "ugly" as he put it. I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming urge to try to make it up to him somehow. I knew there was nothing I could do to change the way people on Irk perceived him, but maybe I could give him love and show him that he didn't deserve to be bullied all the time...like I used to be. "Hey Skoodge," I said, "come see me later, I'll have a little present for you that you might like." He smiled up at me then. "Okay, sir, see you later!"

A few hours had passed and I went back to my room. I had told Zim about my little plan for Skoodge and he agreed not to interrupt us. I waited patiently for Skoodge to arrive. After awhile, I heard a hesitant-sounding knock at the door. "S-sir, it's me..." came Skoodge's quiet voice. "Come in," I answered. He opened the door and walked in. "Lock that for me, would you?" I said. He did so, looking a bit nervous now. "Am I in trouble, sir?" he asked, with just the slightest tinge of fear in his voice. "Nope! I just wanted us to have a bit of personal time..." I said rather seductively. I noted the purplish blush rise to Skoodge's cheeks. He was so cute! "You like sweet things, don't you?" I asked. "Yes, sir." I pulled a bottle of honey off the shelf and squeezed a tiny dollop onto my pointer finger. "Have a taste of this." Skoodge timidly shuffled forward and licked the honey off my finger. His face lit up almost instantly. "Oh, that's delicious sir!" I smiled back at him. "It's called honey. I brought it with me from Earth. Would you like another?" He nodded vigorously. I squeezed another dollop onto my finger, but this time I moved a bit closer to him, pressing my leg against his crotch. I felt him shudder as he sighed. "Here you go," I said as I offered him my finger. He took it into his mouth this time, sucking gently. I could feel a warm bulge expanding against my leg. I shifted my weight ever so slightly to rub against his erection, eliciting a soft moan around my finger. "My, Skoodge, you sure are sensitive..." "Sorry, sir," he whined softy, "you're feeding me and touching me, and you're so beautiful, and I just can't help it..." I chuckled a bit. "Would you like some more honey?" He nodded. "Yes, sir, please." I squirted a bit more on my finger and Skoodge eagerly sucked it off. I used my free hand to idly stroke his erection through his pants. "Oh...sir...." he moaned softly. I grabbed his right hand and brought it to my own arousal. "Do you feel this? I'm hard just for you, Skoodge..." Skoodge trembled and moaned at that, and I could feel his fingers hesitantly stroking at my crotch. Somehow the soft gentle touches were even more arousing than a firmer stroke would be. I rocked into his hand as he rubbed against me, but eventually I stepped back, setting the honey down on the bedside table. He looked a tiny bit disappointed.
I started stripping my clothes off and his eyes grew wide. "Go ahead and take yours off too, unless you don't want to have sex with me," I said to him. "Oh!" he said with a squeak, and rushed to quickly remove his clothing. I stood before him completely nude and just took in his body. I noted his stocky form, and all those faint scar lines. He squirmed a bit self-consciously under my gaze. I moved to the edge of the bed and sat down. "Skoodge come over here." He walked over to me just as I had asked. "Here, just let me borrow some of your goo," I said as I gathered up some of his lubricant. I coated it over my own length. "Um...sir, I'm just wondering, why don't you have your own 'goo'?" "Huh? Oh, it's just human physiology. We just don't make lubricant like you guys do." "Oh," he said as he nodded. "Now, have a seat, if you please," I said with a grin. He climbed up into my lap, and I positioned my length against his entrance. I gently pressed the tip into the tight ring of muscle. Skoodge gasped and tilted his head back. I didn't go in any further though. "Hey Skoodge, look at that," I said pointing forwards. Skoodge moved his head to look straight at our reflections in the mirror across from the bed. "Skoodge," I whispered, my voice soft, "I want you to look hard. What do you see?" He sucked in a heavy breath before speaking. "Um, I - I see my beautiful commander about to... penetrate me..." "And?" He sighed. "And I see myself, a short Irken who's a bit too fat and doesn't deserve the commander's love..." I kissed him softly on the side of his head. "Listen to me... I think you're beautiful just as you are and you do deserve to be loved - and I love you. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently." I could see the reflection of the tears forming in his eyes. A single tear finally broke free and slid down his cheek. I kissed it away. "Go ahead and slide me in all the way, go as slowly as you like," I whispered. He kept his eyes glued to the mirror as he slid down, going slowly, looking entranced. I gasped as he finally reached the hilt. I traced the length of his penis with a single finger, up and down, stopping to trace the ridges especially slowly. I could hear him panting softly as he watched my every move. "Oh, Dib sir..." he whispered. His muscles were clenching around my penis, but I wasn't ready to move yet. I grabbed the honey off the nightstand, coating two fingers on my right hand. I pressed the fingers to his lips and he eagerly started sucking on them. I returned my left hand to his penis, this time gently squeezing as I stroked up and down. He started moaning around my fingers as he watched me stroke him. I started rocking my hips into him, soon thrusting in earnest. Skoodge was moaning louder now, alternated with whimpers because I was still stroking him so softly. I didn't mean to be cruel or tease him, I just wanted to prolong his pleasure for a bit longer. I continued my soft touches. He was whining loudly now, his eyes squeezed shut. "Open your eyes and watch," I said gently. He did as I asked, and I gripped his penis more firmly, giving it solid strokes. He started keening loudly, and I thrust harder up into him. Soon he tensed up, practically shrieking as he came hard. I shuddered out my release as well, filling him.
A few minutes later of heavy panting, we finally caught our breaths. I patted his leg gently and he pulled up off my penis. Instead of getting dressed though, he merely turned around, burying his face in my chest as he hugged me tight. I could feel the wetness of tears. "Thank you, sir. Thank you..." he whispered over and over again. I hugged him back hard. Eventually he calmed down and pulled away, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. I smiled lovingly at him, and he smiled back, giving me a salute. After that, he walked back over to his clothes and got dressed while I got cleaned up and did the same. Just as I thought he'd walk out the door, he ran back to me instead and hugged me tightly. He let go after a few seconds and started to walk towards the door again. "Oh, wait Skoodge, you almost forgot your present!" I said as I grabbed the honey off the nightstand. I handed it to him. "Huh?" he said, "you mean that all this wasn't the present?" I smiled. "Nope! The honey's the present, the rest of that stuff was just a bonus!" He then smiled so much I thought his face might break. He saluted again and shuffled on out the door.
I decided to call a Resisty meeting after that; I think I had a decent idea in mind of how to defeat the Irken Empire, or at least the Massive itself. As a bonus, if my plan worked, we could avoid unnecessary casualties. I still wasn't entirely sure what we'd do after taking control of the Massive, but at least this was a start. As soon as everyone had gathered on the bridge, I called the meeting into order.
"Okay, everyone, I see that you are all here. Let's get started." Everyone quieted down and fixed their attention on me. Pooky orbited my head in typical fashion. "I brought you all here to share a little idea I had about how to bring down the Massive, but first, I'd like to ask Lard Nar to recount exactly what happened last time you guys tried to attack it." I nodded towards Lard Nar, who stood up and spoke. "Well, as you all know," he said, "we fired on the Massive over and over again, but failed to even dent its powerful shields. The Massive even flew through the center of a star and wasn't destroyed. I despair of ever making weapons powerful enough to pierce those shields..." "What happened after that?" I gently urged. He continued, "The ship was flying erratically as though something were wrong with it. They beamed their presumably faulty power core into our ship, replacing theirs with ours, and then we were forced to evacuate the ship and self-destruct." "Yes, I know what happened now," I said to them, "Zim had hacked into their ship core and was trying to bring them to Earth by remote controlling their ship. When they swapped their core for yours, you guys lost control because Zim was still controlling it." Lard Nar seemed to gasp in realization. There were other similar reactions from the rest of the crew. Even Zim looked surprised as he finally realized what had happened. "Anyway," I continued, I have a plan to take down the Massive that wouldn't involve us needing to break their shields at all. If we can take control of their core again just like Zim did, we can disable their weapons and propulsion systems. They won't be able to fight back. Then we can board them and take over the ship from the inside." "Wow you're smart!" Pooky exclaimed from off to the side of my head. "Hey Zim," I asked him, "Do you think that the Tallest still have the old Resisty core in their ship?" Zim thought for a moment before answering, "You know what, Dib? They probably do! They probably haven't bothered to switch it out at all!" "Great!" I exclaimed. "This makes our task much easier. Lard Nar, you built that old Resisty ship, so you already know the control schematics for the core, we can easily hack into it and control it!" "Yes, yes we can!" Lard Nar yelled triumphantly.
Everyone cheered happily. "Listen guys, I know some of you are probably wondering what we'll do after we take over the Massive..." Everyone quieted down as I spoke. "I know that the next phase will be to have our fleet engage the smaller ships of the Armada until I can take over the control brains and order a cease fire." "That's right!" Zim said, "They will obey the control brains no matter what!" I nodded at him. "Okay, but our fleet isn't quite big enough to take them on yet, but we're getting very close, but that's not what I wanted to talk about..." Everyone went completely quiet now, no doubt very curious to see what I'd say. "I don't want to destroy all the Irkens after we win..." Many people gasped and murmured at that. "Listen," I continued, "I love Zim and Skoodge dearly - I think they prove that all Irkens aren't evil. If they can change, there must certainly be more out there. I intend to rule them after we win the battle, and as their leader, I want to try to change their society. Maybe I can help them learn to be better, more peaceful people. I believe that they can change, and that they deserve a chance to have a better society than they have now - a freer one where they can be happy and learn to live peacefully with other races." Everyone was completely silent now; I could sense their unsureness. Suddenly, Skoodge ran up to me and hugged me tightly. Then Zim walked up too, and pulled me into a kiss. Everyone started cheering. "That's very noble of you, but do you really think it can be done?" Rad Na said to me quietly from off to my side. I noticed Lard Nar was standing beside him, listening intently for my answer. "I'm not entirely sure," I said to him, "but I'm gonna try..."
"Oh, one more thing!" I yelled out over the loudly talking crowd. Everyone settled down a bit. "I noticed that this ship doesn't seem to have a name." Lard Nar spoke up, "Well, it really doesn't. Would you like to give it a name?" "Yes, I would," I replied. "I choose the name, 'Nirvana'." "What's the significance of that name?" Lard Nar asked me. "Well, 'Nirvana' was originally a religious term, but I'm not really religious. In the colloquial sense, it means a place that is harmonious and peaceful, free from worry or pain." Lard Nar thought for a moment, then said, "That's a beautiful name, Dib. I like it. This ship is now the Nirvana!" Everyone cheered once more in agreement.
I adjourned the meeting and everyone slowly filed out to return to their duties. Lard Nar and Rad Na hung back though. I sensed that they wanted to talk to me, so I waited patiently for everyone else to leave. As soon as the room had cleared I went and sat back down in my spot near the window. They approached me and sat down as well. Lard Nar spoke first, "Um, Commander Dib, I have something I need to tell you..." Rad Na fidgeted nervously but didn't speak. Lard Nar finally spoke when he realized his friend wasn't going to help him out. "Um, well... I'm pregnant." "HUH? Excuse me? I thought you were male!" I said in complete shock. Lard Nar looked at me, a bit puzzled. "Well, you see," he said, "Vortians are hermaphroditic. I thought you knew that. I only refer to myself as 'he' because of the limitations of the English language..." I just stared at him, dumbfounded. He continued, "Well, you see, I haven't entirely told you the truth about Rad Na and I. We're not just friends, we're also lovers. I'm ashamed to say I was too cowardly to rescue him myself. I'm eternally grateful to you for what you did. Anyway, after we were reunited, we decided to celebrate, and well, you know how that goes... Now I'm pregnant!" Rad Na coughed a little, looking a bit embarrassed. "What's wrong, Dib?" Lard Nar asked me, "you look unhappy."
I thought for a second about how to best phrase this. "Well, it's not that I'm not happy for you, it's just that I really needed you here, you know, working with us." They both looked puzzled at that. "What do you mean?" Rad Na asked. I sighed in exasperation. "I mean that I need you to work with me, and now you're going to have to take a maternity leave..." "Huh? Oh no, Dib! It's nothing like that! Vortian pregnancies only last 5 months, and the egg is quite small, it shouldn't slow me down at all!" Lard Nar said with a laugh. It was my turn now to look confused. "Egg? What? Is it not like human pregnancy, where the woman is slowed down quite a bit, and has morning sickness and other horrible stuff?" I asked. "Oh, no," Rad Na said, "it's not like that at all. Lard Nar shouldn't be slowed down at all. Vortian eggs are very small, and are very easy to 'birth'. It should be 'born' in about a month, in fact. Once it's laid, it'll need to gestate for 6 months before hatching." "Well, who's going to raise this kid while you're busy?" I asked, feeling somewhat defeated. Lard Nar spoke this time, "Traditionally, Vortians are raised communally in a 'kresh' by a few people who's jobs are as 'nurturers'. I guess the kresh is a bit like a daycare..." "Anyway," Rad Na cut in, "We already have a couple Vortians running a kresh back on Voon. We'll send the egg there once it's born."
I nodded mutely; this was a lot to take in. "Actually, the real reason we wanted to tell you this is because we wanted to name our new child after you," Lard Nar said excitedly. "Huh? Really? But my name is so crappy..." I don't know why Dad had chosen such a weird name, but I certainly didn't want to curse another person with it. Lard Nar looked so disappointed though... "Wait!" I said, getting an idea, "Why don't you name it after my initials? They're 'D' 'B', the 'B' stands for Baxter, but don't tell anyone that..." Lard Nar perked right back at this suggestion. "That's a great idea!" he said, "I'll name my son Dee Bee!" "It does sound nicely like a Vortian name, doesn't it?" Rad Na said to him. Lard Nar nodded and they both seemed happy. "Okay, guys, thanks for telling me this, and congratulations!" I said warmly, pulling them both into an hug. After that, we all said our farewells and they returned to their work.
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I went back to my office planetside for the next week or so since I really needed to get some work done down there. The building of our fleet was going nicely, and we were training new recruits all the time. We still didn't quite have the numbers we needed, but we were very very close. In reality, our fleet was almost equal to the Irken Armada in number by now, but I wanted to be a bit over their numbers, just to stack the odds in our favor. I wasn't going to make a move until we were absolutely confident and ready.
I sat in my office this morning, buried under a mound of paperwork. There was so much administrative crap to do... Suddenly, I heard a commotion outside my door. I could hear Skoodge's voice, he sounded like he was arguing with someone. Then I heard him very distinctly hissing at someone. Then there was a thumping sound at my door. Skoodge's hissing sounded louder now, perhaps he was right outside the door now. I fingered my gun, just in case things got ugly. "How dare you threaten a superior?!" said a female voice. It sounded very familiar somehow... "I apologize," Skoodge said, "but I won't let you harm the commander." "I'm not here to harm the commander, you idiot, I want to join the resistance!" the female yelled angrily. I decided this had gone on long enough and opened the door. There was a female Irken standing there. She was about Zim's height and had purple eyes and distinctive-looking curled antenna. "Tak?!" I said in disbelief. Yes, it was definitely her! She stared at me, completely shocked for a minute or two. "It's me! Dib!" I said to her. "Dib? Oh, that's right! You're the human who stopped me from taking over the Earth! You've grown immensely! I'm surprised to see you here..." "Why are you here?" I asked bluntly. "I'm here to see the commander. I want to join the resistance," she replied. "Well, that's me," I stated. "Really? Well, I can't say I'm too surprised. You're quite a bit smarter than the other humans, it figures you'd wind up here eventually... I hope your not too upset about that whole 'hollowing out the Earth's core' thing. It wasn't personal, you know. I do have some respect for you, but I wanted to please my Tallest..." she trailed off. I kept my hand over my gun, something that she seemed to notice. "Oh, please don't be alarmed. I come here in peace. I want to join you!" she said. "Okay," I replied, "Why do you want to join us?" She looked hesitant. "Is this a test?" "Yes, it is," I stated matter-of-factly, "So you'd better tell the truth."
Just then, Zim pushed past Skoodge and burst into the room. "DIB! TAK'S HERE AND SHE'S HEADED FOR YOUR-" Zim stopped in mid-yell once he saw that he was too late. Tak turned to him and yelled, "Oh, is that idiot here too!" Zim hissed angrily at her. I stepped between them. "Yes, he's here too. Please don't tell me you guys are gonna fight," I said to them both. Tak relaxed her stance. "No, I didn't come here to fight him, even though I can't say I particularly like him," she said as she shot Zim a nasty look. Zim just bared his teeth and hissed right back. "How did the two of you come to be here, working together?" she asked, sounding genuinely curious. I explained about how Zim and I stopped fighting, how Zim was banished to Earth and his mission canceled, how we became lovers, how we eventually joined the Resisty and how Skoodge came to join us as well. Once I finally finished speaking, Tak started laughing. "Wow, you picked that defect Zim and tubby over there to be your partners?!" she said, gesturing towards Zim and Skoodge with disdain. I made a very stern face. "Excuse me, but they are my chosen partners and I'm fully bonded with them. If you insult them, you insult me." I used Irken terms Tak would be more familiar with to drive my point home. Tak looked appropriately chastised. She sighed. "I apologize, commander. I've been marked defective too, now..."
"Okay, everyone sit down," I said, "Let's discuss this." Everyone sat down in the chairs in front of my desk, and I sat behind it in my own chair. "Okay, Tak, now, back to my earlier question. Why do you want to join the resistance?" She took a deep breath before she spoke. "As you probably know, I was set to become an invader and was taking about to take my exams and everything. Then Zim caused the power to go out, preventing me from taking my test." She shot Zim a dirty look, who just looked vaguely puzzled in response. "As a result the control brains wouldn't allow me to take the exam anymore, and placed me on a janitorial squad, telling me I'd have to wait 70 years before I could take the invader exam again." I nodded. This part of the story I knew. "Then I left planet Dirt without permission. This caused my pak to be later labeled as 'defective'. Now I can never go back to Irk or they'll kill me." I waited for her to go on, but she just stopped speaking. "Come on, Tak," I urged, "There's something else, isn't there?" She sighed again. "Yes, there is more; you're quite perceptive, Dib. I have come to realize over the years I've spent in exile that Zim, idiot though he may be, is not the real enemy." Zim scowled at her, but she ignored him. "The real enemy is my own society. I've come to realize that the Brains' rulings are arbitrary and unfair, and that our society ignores talent and merit, even when it is clearly present. I used to want nothing more than to please my Tallest, but I've come to the realization that I don't want to slave endlessly to please those idiots any longer... If I'm going to work to please someone, I want it to be someone I can respect." She gestured towards me after that last sentence.
I was convinced now that I'd heard her full answer that she'd be loyal to us. Still, I had a few more questions. "Tak, if you join us, do you promise not to fight with Zim?" She glared at Zim. "Yes, I promise. I don't like him too much, but I respect you enough to follow your orders." I nodded my approval. "And, you do realize that we intend to fully overthrow the Irken Empire?" "Yes, I'm aware," she answered, "and I'm in. I don't hold any loyalty to those idiots anymore..." I felt satisfied with her answers, but I pondered a bit longer before giving her the okay. "Dib, Commander?" she said, "if you're thinking I won't be useful to you, let me tell you that I've got years of experience as a fighter pilot and a ground soldier." I nodded. "Do you swear loyalty to our cause?" I asked her. "Yes, I do, sir." "Alright, Tak, welcome to the Resisty. I've got just the job for you. I need someone knowledgeable and experienced to help train the new recruits for the Resisty fleet." She stood up. "Yes, sir! I will get on that right away!" she said, giving me a salute. "Alright, Skoodge, get her started on that," I directed. Skoodge saluted; "Yes, sir." Tak walked out ahead of Skoodge. "C'mon Tubby, let's go..." If Skoodge was annoyed by the insult, he didn't show it as he followed her out.
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Tak adapted nicely to working on Voon. In fact, I was quite grateful to her for coming along; she had already whipped the somewhat pathetic recruits into respectable fighter pilots for our fleet. She seemed to get along well with most everyone else, except, ironically, the only other members of her own species who were present. Although she respected my request to not overtly fight with Zim, she still hissed at him whenever they passed each other in the hallways, and she still referred to Skoodge as 'Tubby' all the time, often hissing at him too if he got too close to her. Still, she had been good otherwise, and got along great with me, so I tried not to let it bother me.
This morning we were all sitting around the break room table aboard the Nirvana, eating breakfast. Tak had joined Zim and I because I wanted a face-to-face update on her work. She had given me her report, and all seemed to be going well, so now we were just enjoying our breakfast. Of course, by breakfast, what I really meant was unhealthy donuts. Zim was stuffing his face with them, while Tak was eating in a bit more dignified fashion. I know it wasn't great for my health, but I was resorting to donuts for breakfast too. Skoodge finally walked in the door, late from finishing up his work. Instead of sitting down and eating, he just stood there, staring longingly at us eating donuts.
I waited but he just kept staring; it was getting unnerving. "Um, Skoodge, do you want one of my donuts?" "Yes, sir," he said, but he didn't move to take one. I waited but he didn't move. "What are you waiting for?" I asked in irritation. "He's waiting for you to give permission," Zim said around his mouthful of donut. "Huh?" I said. "You asked him if he wanted one and he said 'yes', but just stating he wants one is not the same as receiving permission," Zim said, "You know an Irken could be severely punished for taking food from the commander without permission." Skoodge just nodded. "Alright Skoodge, please, have a donut. I'm giving you permission," I said to him, holding out a donut. Skoodge skittered forward and took it out of my hand. He munched on it in a way not unlike a squirrel biting an acorn.
"You know, if you keep feeding Tubby he'll just follow you around all day and beg for food," Tak said. "I promise I won't," Skoodge said meekly from his corner. I glared at her. "Come on, Skoodge, have a seat," I said to him. He hesitantly approached the table, and almost sat down next to Tak, but she started hissing loudly at him. He jumped and stepped back. "If you touch me with any body parts, I'll remove them! That goes for you too, Zim!" she yelled threateningly. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how amazing I am," Zim replied nonchalantly. I stood up, this had gone far enough. "Just what is your problem?!" I yelled at her. She huffed loudly and stormed out of the room. Skoodge just stared at me, confused. "Don't worry," I said to him, "I'm sure this doesn't really have anything to do with you. I'm gonna go talk to her and find out what's going on. You enjoy some more donuts while I'm gone." He nodded and I walked out.
I spotted Tak in the hallway. She was standing with her arms crossed, looking quite angry and upset. I approached her. "Come on, Tak. I can tell that something's wrong and you need to tell me what it is. We can't work as a team if you're going to be acting this way constantly." She finally looked up at me. "Can we go somewhere private to talk?" she asked. I nodded. "Let's go to my personal room. No one should bother us there." She followed me back to my room. I sat down in the desk chair, and she sat on the edge of my bed. She just looked down, though, not speaking. "Tak? Tell me what's going on?" She sighed. "I just want them to know that I'm not interested in having sex with them. I'm sick of male Irkens harassing me constantly for sex!" "Has Zim or Skoodge been harassing you?" I asked. She shook her head. "No, but I'm sure they're thinking it! Skoodge smiled at me the other day!" "Um, Tak, Skoodge is just a friendly person, he smiles at everyone. You can't really hold that against him..." "I just don't want him getting any ideas..." she said. "Okay, I'll make sure both he and Zim and fully aware that you are not interested, I promise. If anyone does harass you and they won't stop after you tell them you don't want it, you come tell me, and I'll take care of it." "Thanks..." Tak said softly.
Then Tak seemed to break down a bit, fidgeting and looking nervously from side to side. "Um, Dib, can I tell you something? Something I've never told anyone before in my life? I don't know why I'm trusting you with this, but..." "Sure, you can tell me anything," I said as encouragingly as I could. She started out hesitantly, "There's - there's something wrong with me..." I waited patiently for her to continue. "I - when the taller males force me to let them mount me, I don't like it..." That didn't surprise me much. Who really enjoyed being forced into sex? "Tak, that's not weird or unusual. You don't like it because you're being forced into it against your will." "NO!" she said sharply, "It's not that! I could live with that, if that were my only issue, but it's even worse! I don't like any of them... I mean, I've never found a single male that I found attractive. I don't like the way it feels when they touch me. I don't like the way they smell... Even when I found a male that I liked his personality, I'd try to be gracious and allow him to mount me, but I felt icky whenever I'd do it, and then I'd break up with him." She finished her outburst, looking so distraught I thought she might cry, but she continued on instead. "I've had to fight very hard to remain single, and that's why I wanted to be an invader, so I could get away from all the prying males who won't leave me alone." I had a decent idea of what was 'wrong' with her, but I decided ask some questions to be sure. "Hey Tak, let me ask you something." She quirked an antenna at me, waiting. "Did you have a close friend when you were younger?" She thought for a moment, "Yes, yes I did. She was a female named Zee." "What did you like about her?" "Well, she was so cute and sweet, and she had pretty little curly antenna, unlike mine, which are hideously angular. Oh, and we got along very well... We'd eat meals together and stuff..." "Did she have any mates?" I asked. Tak frowned. "Yes, she did have males vying for her attention. She eventually chose a tall one to be her partner." "And how did that make you feel?" I pressed. Tak bit her lip. "I - I was pretty irritated. I felt like she didn't want to be with me anymore because of her new partner." "Okay, Tak, let me ask you one more question, and please answer honestly; I won't judge you, I promise." "Okay," she said. "How would you feel if she had told you she wanted to be your partner instead of that male?" Tak looked shocked. "Please answer me honestly," I urged. "Well, I... I'd be very happy," she finally answered. "What if she wanted to touch you and make you feel good?" I pressed. Tak gasped loudly. "Dib, that's...That's not normal for an Irken- two females together, it's unheard of..."
I now had a pretty good idea of just what was bothering Tak. "Don't worry, Tak, there's nothing wrong with you!" I reassured. She looked doubtful. "No really, you're just a lesbian; it's alright." "What's a lesbian?" she asked. "It's someone who's female and is sexually attracted to other females." Tak suddenly looked down in shame. "Dib, it's true what you say... I just didn't want to admit it. It makes me defective..." "Tak, listen to me! You're not defective, you're fine just the way you are. You Irkens have some of the most fluid sexuality I've ever seen! If you want to love women, then so what?! You should just accept who you are, and freely love whoever you happen to fall in love with." She nodded slowly. "But Dib, there aren't very many Irken females, and most of them aren't weird like me. Do you think I'll ever find anyone for me?" I smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, Tak, just be patient. I know one day, you're princess will come!" "Thank you, Dib!" she said, her mood seemed to have lifted considerably. She got up and even gave me a hug. "Now," I said, "would you be willing to go apologize to poor Skoodge?" "Sure," she replied, "You know I don't really have anything against him. Now that you've talked to me, I feel much better. Thank you."
She followed me back to the break room where Zim and Skoodge were still eating donuts. She shifted from foot to foot, looking a bit nervous. She cleared her throat and spoke, "Um, I just want to say sorry to you two...for my past antagonistic behavior. I still won't have sex with you - let's be clear on that - but I apologize for being so mean." "Oh, no problem," Zim said, "I just took your statement as a standard Irken declaration of sexual disinterest..." Skoodge just looked up with big puppy-dog eyes. "So, you're not mad at me?" he said timidly. She sighed; "No, Skoodge, I don't have anything against you..." He smiled and ran forward, hugging her. She frowned and grumbled but returned the hug. "Okay, you little stink-beast, that's enough," she said as she pulled away. I could tell she was just kidding though. "Okay, guys, I'm glad that's behind us. Hopefully you all can get along a bit better now," I said. After that, everyone did get along better; Skoodge and Zim didn't pester Tak and she stopped being so grumpy. All was going well.
A couple more weeks passed and I was just sitting in my office on Voon feeling bored when there came a loud knock at my door. "Come in!" I called. Rad Na rushed in immediately afterward. "Dib, sir, come quickly! Our son has been born, and Lard Nar wants to show everyone, especially you." "Oh, okay," I replied, "I'll be right there!" I locked up my office and followed Rad Na down the hall to one of the medical rooms. As soon as the door to the room was opened, I noticed that just about everyone from the core Resisty crew was already there, including Zim, Skoodge, and Tak. In the middle of all the commotion was Lard Nar, who was laying on a small medical bed. Next to him on a small table, nestled in a fitted foam cushion, was a small white egg. It was quite oblong in shape, and only about the size of my fist. I peered at it in curiosity. Zim and Tak were hanging back, just peering from afar. Skoodge however, was much closer, oohing and ahhing over it.
As I approached Lard Nar, he seemed to notice me. "Dib! I'm so glad you're here!" he said. "Hey, are you feeling okay?" I asked him. "Oh, of course. I'm just a bit sore and tired. I'll be fine in a day or two," he replied. "That's good." "Now, Dib," he continued, "Back on Vort it was traditional to draw a unique mark upon any newborn eggs. This helped us identify them when they were all together in a hatchery. Of course, this is the only Vortian egg here right now, but I'd like to keep with tradition. I was wondering if you'd be the one to draw a mark?" It was truly touching that he wanted me to do this for him. "Are you sure you want me to be the one to do that?" I asked. "Of course," Rad Na piped up, handing me a marker. Lard Nar nodded. "Do I just draw whatever I want?" I questioned. "Sure, go for it!" Lard Nar said. I took the cap off the marker and went over to the egg. I knew what I wanted to draw. I made a circle first, carefully going slowly so that it was as close to perfectly round as possible. Then I drew two round dot eyes and a smiley mouth. There! I stepped back so that everyone could see. "Oh that's so cute!" Pooky exclaimed from somewhere behind my head. How did he always manage to be near my head? Lard Nar and Rad Na both took a look. "That's great!" Lard Nar said. "See, I knew you'd do a good job," Rad Na said. Everyone else expressed their approval as well.
"Alright, everyone," Lard Nar spoke up. The crowd quieted to listen to him. "This egg represents more than just the love between Rad Na and myself. This egg is the first Vortian born on free soil in many many years. This egg represents our future as a free people - and not just our future, but all races' futures. This egg is part of the next generation who will proceed us, and they will live as a free generation!" Everyone cheered after his little speech. After the noise died down, Tak hesitantly stepped forward. "And what about us? Will the Irkens have freedom from our own oppressive Empire too?" she said questioningly. A hush fell over the room as they waited for Lard Nar's answer. "Yes, yes you will. I want freedom for everyone; a world where we can all live together peaceably!" he said. She smiled and said, "Thank you." Even Zim smiled in the background. The room erupted in cheers once more.
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End of Chapter!
Author Note: Fun fact: I actually took the ship's name of "Nirvana" from an Adam Lambert song by the same name. Check it out; it's an absolutely beautiful song!
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The Epic of Dib