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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device	By : Toonspew Category: +M through R > My Life as a Teenage Robot Views: 21219 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own My Life as a Teenage Robot, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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“ ...And that... is a wrap.” quipped Jenny, using her robotic strength to bend a parking meter into a makeshift restraint, flexing it around the defeated Lonely Hearts Gang. The criminals groaned at her pun, managing to look even more miserable then they usually do, even while suffering from the injuries sustained during their brief battle with Jenny. “Hmm,” thought Jenny to herself, “maybe I should ask my mom to give my humor an upgrade next. Even I think that stunk.” Nothing to do now but wait until the authorities arrived to pick them up, then Jenny could continue on to her meeting with Silver Shell... err, Sheldon.

“One of these days we'll turn the tables on you, you robotic heart-breaker!” whined the leader of the gang. “Hey!” protested Jenny, insulted. “I'll have you know I'm in a very solid relationship with a boy now. You wouldn't know him.” she said, putting her hands on her hips and looking indignant. The gangster frowned, and countered with “sure, he's happy, but what about poor Sheldon, the boy you left behind?” Jenny blanked, failing to come up with a response. She wondered how the Lonely Hearts gang would know about Sheldon, then remembered that they had been present back when Sheldon had first developed his crush on her. In fact, since it had been a heart-broken Sheldon that had saved her from the gang, the last thing they would've seen was a depressed Sheldon walking off alone...

But she had made it up to him, right? She had her mom fix his Captain Crush figurine, and install an anti-gravity propulsion device. Surely there were no hard feelings? Gah, she was just letting these criminals get to her! “Okay, that's enough out of you!” Jenny declared, extending a nozzle from her forearm and gluing the gangster's mouth shut with some epoxy foam. Seeing the flashing police lights approaching down the street, Jenny breathed a sigh of relief. Taking off, she was glad to be finished with them... the Lonely Hearts gang may not be the most dangerous villain she'd ever faced, but they were certainly the most depressing.

Flying home, Jenny let her mind wander, and found her thoughts returning to Sheldon. Had she really been... unfair to him? Certainly, her reason for not dating him wasn't valid, not anymore anyway. Jenny had originally told Sheldon she couldn't date him because she was looking for a robot boy... it had just been an excuse, of course, but it had worked. But now, by some quirk of fate, Sheldon was a robot boy. And, irony of ironies, Jenny was dating a human boy instead! Jenny frowned, guilt biting at her insides. She didn't mean to ever hurt Sheldon, but she could easily imagine how this situation could be anguish for him. She might not have wanted to date him, but Sheldon was still a trusted friend and she wouldn't ever wish that sort of torture on him. And having been in a situation like that herself with Don Prima, she had an idea what angst felt like.

And why hadn't she wanted to date him? If him being human was just an excuse the real reason was because... he was unpopular? Because he was somewhat unattractive? Because his interest in robotics made him a social outcast at school? Jenny was becoming uneasy with how closely her analysis was coming to describing herself. Despite saving the Earth (or at least Tremorton) on a regular basis, Jenny remained unpopular and largely outcast at school, and Sheldon and Brad seemed to be the only ones to find her physically appealing. More then once she'd been called “freaky”, just as Sheldon often was.

And now she was dating Brad... attractive, well liked at school, even on the frickin' football team (as terrible as their team was). And before him, she had chased after Don Prima, who was even more popular, more attractive... Jenny was rapidly starting to feel disgusted with herself. Was she really that shallow, that she was only looking for looks and a means of climbing the social ladder when selecting a boy? Normally she would've associated that sort of behavior with the Crust cousins, whom she certainly wasn't trying to emulate.

But she knew that wasn't true. She and Brad had real feelings for each other, she just knew it! Brad had always been a good friend to her, loyal, never thinking of her as “freaky” like the other kids at school. On the other hand... didn't Sheldon also have all those qualities? And even more... all those times Jenny needed help, Sheldon had been the one she turned to. When she wanted ears she could get pierced, when she needed help with her wardrobe to compete against the Crusts, all done completely of his own goodwill, without asking anything in return. Jenny was beginning to feel very rotten about how she'd been treating Sheldon. But just suppose, hypothetically, she did a complete 180 and broke up with Brad and dated Sheldon instead... she wouldn't date him before, but now that his mind was inside the body of Silver Shell, she was okay with it? Jenny gritted her teeth, frustrated. No matter what she did, she'd come out looking shallow and superficial. Damn this complicated teen lifestyle of hers!

Well, she could at least start treating Sheldon nicer then she had been. After all, she was largely responsible for his current... condition. Jenny landed on the front lawn of Sheldon's house, and made her way inside. Her mother had already arranged her visits with Sheldon's parents, who were glad that their son was getting this extra care. And, considering his condition, Jenny and her mother were technically the most qualified people in the world to be looking after him. Jenny knocked on Sheldon's bedroom door, calling out “Sheldon, I'm here. Sorry I'm late.” Jenny heard Sheldon's voice invite her in, and she noticed again how strains of Silver Shell's voice was mixed in with Sheldon's own. The two tones were starting to merge into a single new voice, somewhere between the two original voices, she realized.

Jenny opened the door and stepped inside, seeing Silver Shell stretched out on Sheldon's old bed. The hulking frame of Sheldon's new body trying to fit onto the much too small bed was a comical sight, like seeing a tall man cramped into a very tiny automobile. Shell's legs stuck out stiffly over the edge of the bed, and poked out from under the blankets draped over him. Jenny suspected the blankets had been an attempt by Sheldon's mother at speeding his recovery, not realizing that Sheldon had no real need from them now. “Hey Jenny.” said Sheldon, sounding bored. “Hey yourself. How're you feeling today big guy?” Jenny approached, taking a seat on the edge of Sheldon's bed, by his side. Sheldon sighed, attempting to heave his chest as if he were letting out a deep breath. “Well, mostly bored. I haven't figured out how to turn my sleep cycle on and off yet, so I've been stuck awake since when your mom visited last night. Dad was nice enough to stay up reading comic books to me to keep me busy, but he dozed off this morning and mom went to work, so I've spent the last... 7 hours basically staring up at the ceiling and humming songs to myself.”

Jenny chose not to comment, moving on to a sunnier topic. “Well, I'm here now, so we can start your physio-therapy as soon as you feel up to it. Have you tried moving on your own during the day?” Jenny asked. “I've managed some. I can move my hands and arms around, though the elbow joints are kinda tricky. And I can stand up...” Sheldon grunted, and with some effort stuck his legs up into the air. “Oh cripes,” he complained, “Jenny could you give me a hand?” Jenny smiled, glad to be useful. Taking Shell's hands in her own, she eased him into an upright position, his legs settling back onto the bed. “Now lets see if we can teach you how to walk.”

A couple of hours later, Jenny was seeing Sheldon making substantial progress. With some practice the two of them got all of his limbs and joints under his control, enough that Sheldon was capable of walking around and lifting objects with his hands. The last half hour they had used a mirror to help him make facial expressions, so that Silver Shell's face wouldn't be so emotionless all the time. Jenny found she was liking the role of teacher quite a lot, it was an entirely new experience for her. Perhaps when she graduated high school, she would look into a career in education.

With Sheldon regaining his confidence and almost functioning normally again, Jenny decided to try something different. Telling him to stand against one wall, Jenny walked to the opposite side of the room. “Okay Sheldon, now I want you to try to reach out your hands and touch mine, got it?” Sheldon took a step forward, before Jenny immediately stopped him. “No, I don't mean like that. From there. Reach over here to my hands.” Jenny held out her hands, offering. “What are you talking about Jenny? I can't reach you from all the way over here. My arms aren't long enough.” Sheldon said, holding his arms out towards her to prove his point.

“You can Sheldon. Just... try to visualize your wrist joints unlocking, and your forearms stretching out like bubblegum.” Sheldon gave her a skeptical look, then decided to give it a try anyway. He strained, then closed his eyes. For several seconds nothing happened aside from some clicking and whirring noises being made inside Silver Shell's arms. “That's it Sheldon... just relax and let it happen...” encouraged Jenny. Then, with a clank sound from his wrists, Sheldon's hands disengaged from his forearms and began extending out towards Jenny, trailing a cord or white and silver cable leading back to his body. “You got it!” exclaimed Jenny, holding Silver Shell's hands in her own when they reached her. Sheldon opened his eyes, smiling proudly. “Wow, that wasn't so hard.” he said, looking down at his disjoined arms. Closing his eyes for a moment, Sheldon tried again, this time extending his legs by stretching at the knee, then doing the same at his hips to stretch his torso up into the air, almost hitting his head on the ceiling. Jenny smiled nervously, glad to see Sheldon doing so well but anxious as well. “Alright Sheldon, slow it down ok?” she pleaded. Sheldon stretched his head out from neck joint, showing off, moving his face in closer to Jenny.

Jenny let go of Silver Shell's hands, seeing a look of confusion growing on his face. “Jenny... what... I, I can't...” Sheldon's hands flailed around, trying to touch where his torso would be if it had been in place under his head. “Jenny, I can't feel my body!!” yelled Sheldon, his voice showing his panic. If he'd had lungs, Jenny was sure he'd be hyperventilating right now. “Sheldon, calm down! Calm down!” she said, holding onto his head to keep it still, forcing him to keep eye contact with her. “All you have to do is retract your limbs. Just relax and concentrate, just focus on the reverse of what I said earlier.” Sheldon's eyes remained wide, his head shaking in her grasp. “It's not working! Oh no, something is broken! Ah, ahhhhh! I'm gonna be stuck like this forever! Ahhhhh!”

“Hey! Shhhhhhh...! Don't freak out!” Jenny said insistently, desperate to calm Sheldon down before he overloaded himself or something. Firing her pigtail-jets, she took his head back to his torso and manually fed the extensor cable back into his neck-socket, returning it to it's normal spot on his body. Jenny repeated the same treatment for his arms and legs, soothing him with reassurances while Sheldon whimpered meekly. When his body was fully reassembled, she lead him back to his bed and helped him lie down. “Just relax, you've done enough for one day. I think your brain needs a chance to recuperate and adjust to all this.” Sheldon frowned, looking miserable. “Don't be hard on yourself Sheldon... most humans can't readily remove their heads from their bodies, it's understandable that you'd get disoriented.” Sheldon turned his head to the side, looking away from Jenny's gaze. “It's not that,” he stated, “it's all of this... it's very humiliating. Learning to walk all over again, it's like I've been reduced to an infant. And worst of all is having to relearn everything right in front of you, the girl I've been trying to get a date from for the past year and a half. I never wanted you to see me in such a pathetic state.”

“I'm sorry Sheldon.” said Jenny, dipping her head sadly. “Well, it's not really your fault Jenny, it's just the situation that I'm...” “No, that's not what I mean.” Jenny interrupted. “I'm sorry for all the grief I've caused you. Since we first met, I mean. It hasn't been easy growing up in a world not intended for robot teenagers, and sometimes I think I took advantage of your feelings for me. And even more, I think I didn't really appreciate all the things you've done to help me, or even just appreciating the fact that you want to be my friend. So... I apologize. I hope you don't think I'm as shallow as I've acted sometimes in the past.”

Sheldon smiled, touched. “Thanks Jenny. And I'm sorry for being so ...obsessive sometimes. I really just wanted you to like me, and I didn't know how to go about it. I guess that'll have to stop now though, since you've got a boyfriend.” Jenny smirked, raising an eyebrow. “That never stopped you before...” Sheldon returned the look. “yeah, but it was different with Don Prima or Kenny... those guys are jerks. Brad is a friend of mine too, so... I wish you guys well.” he said with some reluctance. “Jenny?” he asked, after a moment of silence. “Yeah Sheldon?”. Sheldon turned his head to the side, exposing the access panel at the back of his head. “Could you put me to sleep please?”

“Sure buddy.” said Jenny, reaching inside and manipulating the sleep cycle controls. As an afterthought, Jenny turned the dream chip to a low setting, before closing the panel. Sheldon, of course, was unconscious as soon as she flipped the switch. It was funny, Jenny thought, to have an opportunity to see her crush the Silver Shell sleeping like this. Seeing no harm in it, Jenny leaned down and kissed his cheek before getting up and leaving for the night.

“Any nausea? Queasiness?” asked Ms. Wakeman, scratching some notes onto her clipboard. “Not normally.” answered Sheldon, slouching against a workbench built into the basement wall of Wakeman's laboratory. After three days of regular checkups with Ms. Wakeman and systems training with Jenny and Brad, Sheldon was almost completely in control of his body once again. He still needed someone to switch him into sleep mode at night, but Jenny and her mother assured him that would come to him eventually. Most likely, Ms. Wakeman theorized, was that Sheldon's subconscious was having a tougher time coping to the change then his conscious mind was. “Blurred or impaired vision?” asked Ms. Wakeman. “Just the same pixellated sight I've had since I moved into this body.” Sheldon answered, his responses having become routine by now. No major complications had shown up during his recovery, he doubted very much that something unexpected would happen today, out of the blue.

Ms. Wakeman checked off the final marker on her clipboard, satisfied that all the basic symptoms had been checked for. “Well Sheldon, I remain amazed that your mind has adapted to it's new body so rapidly, but here you are. I'm satisfied that you are out of the woods, so to speak.” Sheldon grinned, eager to get back to a semblance of his normal life. After being cooped up indoors this long, he even missed high school. Not that bullies would be much bother to him anymore... maybe this robot body deal wasn't so bad afterall... “Just one more thing.” interjected Ms. Wakeman, snapping on a pair of insulated rubber gloves, “I need to give your new body a final, once-over inspection. You mind has adapted well to your body, but we don't know what your body has had to do to adapt to hosting a human mind.” Sheldon groaned at the additional time this would take. Still, he'd hate to have his head fall off someday just because he skipped out on his physical, so it was probably for the best.

“Just strip off your outer armoring so I can access all your service panels. I'll be back in a moment, I need to fetch the proper tools.” Ms. Wakeman said cheerily. As much as this made Sheldon uncomfortable, she seemed to treat it as a routine tune-up. Sheldon supposed that after raising Jenny, she must be used to it by now. Still, this whole procedure was starting to remind him of a checkup at the doctor's office... something he had never enjoyed. Ms. Wakeman left the room in search of her equipment, and Sheldon, sighing, began removing his outer garments, until he was as “naked” as his robot body could conceivably be.

Ms. Wakeman soon returned, carrying an armful of power tools and futuristic scanning devices. Catching sight of Silver Shell's naked body, she froze in place, several of her tools loudly crashing to the ground.”Sheldon... where did that component between your legs come from?!” she demanded, her eyes fixed on the metallic organ hanging from his crotch. Sheldon didn't understand her alarm, replying “that's just the force-field device you had me install, remember? I picked it up a few hours before the accident. What's the big deal?” Ms. Wakeman groaned, putting her tools down and approaching Silver Shell. “That's not the force-field generator Sheldon. That is the force field generator.” she indicated a funny looking component lying on a shelf on the other side of the room. Sheldon frowned, puzzled. “Well, what is this thing then? I got it from the box labeled 'the project', I assumed it meant our Silver Shell refit project.” Ms. Wakeman took Sheldon's limp protrusion in one hand, checking to see if it was installed correctly. “No, Sheldon... what you installed is the male portion of the XJ project. It's too long an explanation for me to get into right now, but to sum it up: you've given yourself a mechanical penis and testicles.”

Sheldon felt a blend of relief mixed with confusion. The thought had occurred to him earlier that this new body was only man-shaped, and didn't truly have a gender. He had certainly not relished the idea of living out his existence as a eunuch, so the fact that he had rediscovered his lost manhood was practically cause for celebration. But at the same time, he *had* to wonder, what the heck was Ms. Wakeman doing with a mechanical cock and balls hidden in her lab? For a brief moment he wondered if the new 'little Sheldon' had already seen more action then he had. “Hmmm, well I wasn't really using the component for anything anyways. In a way, your mistake has actually saved me the work of having to create an entire second robot myself. So, I suppose I'll let you keep it.” said Ms. Wakeman, much to Sheldon's delight. “Now I just need a sample of your nanites to analyze, and then we can get on with the rest of this physical.”

“My what?” asked Sheldon, confused. Ms. Wakeman calmly explained, “The nanites being generated inside your umm, 'family jewels' are designed to carry the design specs of the robot they are being produced by. But since I've never had it attached to a robot before, I've never tested the nanites, and I don't know if they'll work successfully or not. So I just need you to provide a sample.” Seeing the helpless expression on Silver Shell's face, Nora Wakeman added “you know... just... stimulate yourself. As boys normally do. It's all designed to function as a parallel to the equivalent human anatomy.” She handed him a little plastic cup for him to hold his “sample” in.

Sheldon prodded his newfound equipment, experimentally gripping and stroking it in a few different ways. It certainly wasn't like the one he was used to! Try as he might, the darned thing just didn't seem to want to respond. Funny, he'd never had this problem before... quite the opposite, Sheldon thought, remembering the times in class when he had to pray he wouldn't be called up to the board when his member decided to pitch a tent for no reason whatsoever. “Ah... this is kinda ... Ms. Wakeman, I'm still really new to this body, and... well... could you show me how this is supposed to work?” Nora turned around to face Sheldon, having averted her eyes when he first attempted to play with himself. “You really can't figure it out?” questioned the elder scientist. Sheldon shrugged. “Don't blame me, you built the thing.” Ms. Wakeman approached the nude robot boy, taking his semi-erect penis in hand and stroking it experimentally. Despite having built this device herself, seeing it attached to the body of Silver Shell made it seem oddly foreign to her. “Tell me what feels best Sheldon, and what you don't like.”

Sheldon smiled, Nora's pumping hand giving him warm feelings of pleasure radiating out from his groin. “Oh, that feels just fine...” he half sighed, his cock growing to full erection under the scientist's skilled hand. Ms. Wakeman smirked, reaching her left hand under to grope at the “scrotum” containing the nanite factories, which elicited a moan from Sheldon. It had been quite a number of years since she'd last done this to a man... it was nice to see she hadn't lost her touch. Though, this was all for science of course, she reminded herself, clearing the smile off her face and composing herself into her normal serious demeanor.

“Ms. Wakeman, this feels great and all, but I don't think it's going to be enough.” said Sheldon. Ms. Wakeman paused, hoping Sheldon wasn't about to ask her to perform anything more intimate. Manipulating him with her hands was one thing, but she had too much dignity to involve her body in this. Besides, Sheldon was her pupil, not to mention the huge age difference. It would be entirely too strange. “Well, what do you think is the problem?” she asked, dreading the answer she was expecting. Sheldon replied “this is just to... clinical. Like a doctor's office or something. You wouldn't happen to have any pornographic magazines or anything...? from when you were younger maybe?” Nora sighed in relief, thinking over Sheldon's suggestion. “No, I removed any hint of pornography from the house when I created Jenny. However, I think I might have something that you could use...” Ms. Wakeman left Sheldon standing in the middle of her lab while she rummaged around elsewhere, looking for something. When she finally returned, she tossed Sheldon a handful of what looked to be technical papers and blueprints. Sheldon was confused at first, until he realized what they were... design specifications for the XJ9 robot's outer frame... essentially nude pictures of Jenny!

“Oh wow!” exclaimed Sheldon, his eyes drinking in each page. The poses weren't exactly suggestive or anything, but it wasn't hard for Sheldon to use his imagination. He groaned in surprise when he felt Ms. Wakeman grab hold of his cock again, and begin jerking him off. “There we are...” she praised “responding much better then before.” Sheldon let her do what she would to him, he was too focused on the images he held. A naked picture of Jenny in the anatomical position, a close up of her bare chest that detailed how her nipples would grow “erect” to access her battery contacts. Next were images of her external reproductive systems... Jenny's bare pussy, Sheldon couldn't believe it! Seeing that she actually had these parts was making his own newly acquired cock and balls make a lot more sense. Sheldon shuffled to the next page, and found a file folder containing a series of polaroids, marked as “final construction of XJ9 robot, and initial test run.” The photos featured Jenny newly activated, exploring her surroundings. Most were unimpressive, until Sheldon came upon a picture of Jenny on all fours, apparently curious about a lab mouse that had gotten free from it's cage. The angle allowed the camera to see right up Jenny's upturned skirt, displaying her lovely ass clothed only in some kind of mechanical thong.

Looking at this picture, Sheldon suddenly found Ms. Wakeman's stroking fist to be too much stimulation for him. He let out a strangled “UNNhhhggg!!” from the pleasure crashing through him, which caught Nora quite by surprise. Intent as she was on jacking off Sheldon's cock, her reflexes proved too slow to avoid the first spurt of semen that came spraying out. “Ackkk! Sheldon! (sputter) give me the cup!” Nora cried, Sheldon's cum splattering on her face. Hurriedly Sheldon handed her the plastic container, which she held in front of Sheldon's tip and proceeded to milk the rest of his essense out into it. When the last echoes of his orgasm faded, Ms. Wakeman took the cup over to a nearby microscope, then went looking for the nearest clean rag to clean her face with. “Ah... guess it works, at least. Thanks?” offered Sheldon, embarrassed. “Hrrmmm. Quite.” agreed Ms. Wakeman, miffed and wiping the last traces of Sheldon's spooge from her cheek.

Settling onto a stool and pouring out some of Sheldon's cum onto a slide, Ms. Wakeman peered at his sample through her microscope. “Hmm, interesting.” she murmured, more to herself then to Sheldon. “Well it appears you installed it correctly at least. I'm detecting the presence of newly constructed nanites suspended in the conductive nutrient syrup. I'll have to give them an electrical shock to see if they are 'swimmers' or not.” Nora turned on her stool, looking back at Sheldon. “This could take a while... I think I'll finish your physical later, if you don't mind. You can go ahead and get dressed now.” Sheldon was happy enough with this answer. Hopefully he could put this off long enough that she might just forget about it altogether. This handjob had certainly been a pleasant surprise, but what would the rest of the exam be like? Suppose he had some kind of robotic prostate she needed to check? With a reflexive shudder at the thought, Sheldon donned the last of his clothing and left.

Heading outside, Sheldon couldn't manage to stop smiling. He had a dick again! He had never placed all that much importance on the organ before, but that was before he had thought he had permanently lost it. But now it was back, and all was right with the world. Somehow, it made him feel a little bit more human again. Sheldon checked his internal clock, and realized school was out. Which meant Brad would be home, which meant he'd probably be willing to play video games for a few hours. Ah, it's great to be a teenage male! Sheldon knocked on Brad's front door, and he saw Brad poke his head out of his bedroom window. “Shell, buddy! Just the guy I wanted to see. Come on up!” called out Brad. With some difficulty Sheldon crouched through the door and headed up.

“Sheldon: I. Am. A. Genius.” stated Brad, excited. Sheldon just looked at him quizzically, hoping he would explain. “How would you like to make $3,000 for one afternoon's work?” began Brad. “Of course you would. Who wouldn't?” he continued, answering his own question. “Well, have I got a plan for you...” Brad held up a flier to Sheldon's face, that read “Annual Robotics Expo, this week!” Smirking, Brad added “ ...partner.”
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My Life as a Teenaged Von Neumann Device