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Undertow	By : pronker Category: +M through R > Penguins of Madagascar Views: 11341 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I make no profit from this fanfiction set in Dreamworks' Penguins of Madagascar franchise. I do not own its characters, basic premise or settings.

Chapter List
- 1-1/?
- 2-2/?
- 3-3/?
- 4-4/?
- 5-5/?
- 6-6/?
- 7-7/?
- 8-8/?
- 9-9/?
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- 110-110/112
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- 70
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- 72
SKIPPER'S LOG! RESET TO VERSION 0.0! Shit. - Log, redact the last word in the official dispatch copy to the Big Boss next week - I didn't intend to shout but I'm disturbed, happy, and needing to reset our whole routine, so I'm shouting while Private waltzes around the zoo tonight showing off our egg with Rico and Kowalski in escort or to give a break hell I don't know why they tagged along, but I'm glad they did.
I need time to think and set up routine protocol for our sitch. I can do this. Routine is something we commandos excel at and eggsitting will prove no different because I will not have our status quo any less status quoier oh you know what I mean, Log.
All right, do over. Ahem. A sticking point is our sleep cycle: in the wild, penguins who parent manage to stay upright if they are of our species. Oh, we might slump and nearly pass out on our feet, but the egg rests cushioned by our robust legs and toasty toes. Not for us are the Magellanic penguin burrows with partial cover from the elements.
Actually, our lair's temperature control survived several changes in the six hours post-egg arrival before I stonewalled over 72 degrees as opposed to Private's 74. "I'm dying, Private, and if I die of heatstroke, who will lead?" I whined and threw in a convincing gasp, some drama llamaing but there you go. It worked.
Private did no good grumbling and the thermostat remained at 72. Private received a Look Between Rico And Kowalski when he approached them separately in a Survivor style power coup. He tried that when Penguin Risk supplied game night with international thrills, but he got nowhere tonight. He succeeded on game night with those two, but the stakes are higher now than winning at a board game. I feel my ulcer acting up so I am taking five. Be back in a jif, Log, I'm off to the medicine cabinet.
brrrrppppahhhh Log, redact my burp as noted at the beginning of this entry. Goshdarned, uh I mean, damned Pepto Bismol. Nasty color, nasty taste, nasty smell that almost makes me toss my commander cookies, blech. Onward.
I'll do my best to keep awake at my graveyard night shift; I'll pop earphones on and watch late night movies, infomercials and the like. I'm acknowledging Private's need for full restful eight hours for the first three days. Rico and Kowalski and I will split into eight hour shifts apiece in the interregnum. After three days of this, I'll be no good for anything and cede command to Kowalski, I think, because he stays up all night sometimes when he's diddling in his lab. The necessity of it grates like, like, well I don't know what. I never thought to be in this sitch because Eggy stayed with us for those days and it was easy peasy to assign care. The egg wasn't mine.
Kowalski wishes it were his. He's practically drooling over it and sang the whole afternoon in his braaping lab about it. I'm scared - Log, redact redact redact - that the team will never be the same. Sure we'll look after the baby, sure. We've got to. Private wants to, I w-want to, blah blah for the others blah.
The egg is kind of ... pretty. Cute. Oh hell, I just know I'll waddle tomorrow night all over the fershlugginer zoo babbling baby babble. I'm a lost cause. Log, scrap this entry. I'll dictate a better one closer to transmission time. The Big Boss will just have to understand, that's all. She's a grandma with seven grands.
IOIOIOIOIO
"Gents, I don't feel well." Rico flashed a look to Kowalski, who gestured to the hatch. Rico hurried up the rungs to fetch Skipper. With any luck, the new papa was bragging in a nearby habitat like Burt's and not ensconced in the Reptile House declaiming to Barry how much better parents penguins were than poison dart frogs.
Kowalski was on Private like he was the most fascinating penguin on earth, which, come to think of it, he was. "Symptoms?"
"Ugh. Like I did right before the egg yesterday, cramps, urpiness, sudden hankerin' to cackle buk buk buk bukKAWKIT like the Blue Hen - "
"Please, Private! No mention of her! She is a disgrace to all egglayers. Brain power alone does not a life make. Just ask Dave and Blowhole." Kowalski whipped out his stethoscope to listen to the heart and lungs. Private's face crumpled as he staggered and Kowalski dropped his stethoscope to steady his friend.
"Ow. Now it's like gas pains - sorry! I couldn't help it! - and urk, I've got to squat or have a lie down or somethin' - "
"Private! Easy now!" Private assumed the egglaying position on the floor. It looked like everything was happening just as on Monday but it couldn't be, it couldn't, because eggs came one at a time to couples, everyone knew that. Well, Private wouldn't know that because he had never spent conscious time in their home rookery outside of his egg. The egg stage was conducive to sleep learning, and Eggy would be the first to say so. Could Private have - just a wild option, now - overheard a couple's wish for another egg while he developed inside his own egg ... No, hearing something would not enable his body to have more than one egg per season. Besides, the special circumstances surrounding the oviparation of these littles would need to be duplicated -
Hypotheses darted through Kowalski's spaced out brain like startled minnows while on the outside he catalogued the images of Private panting when the reason for it simply wasn't in the cards that Science dealt. Comparing and contrasting Monday's event with this one produced the same impossible result: the process was beginning all over again, against type, against logic, and Kowalski was the one who would need to do the catch. Kowalski threw away the whole deck of hypothetical cards as he straightened to his full height. He was ready. After a deep breath, he bent down with flippers cupped for the new arrival.
There was a clang! as the hatch cover slammed back into place and then somehow Skipper was there but smashed atoms, the first egg was nowhere to be seen. Kowalski's jaw dropped as he slid aside to allow the proper penguin to attend the next natural step of this process.
"Sir! Where's - "
"Skippa! Where's - "
The commander's attention zeroed in on the one who needed him most as he bypassed the other. He stood between Private's legs as the young penguin panted and strained. From a usual squat to sitting upright to laying back supine he rolled and Skipper repositioned after each change of posture.
"Private, what is wrong? Do you need to see Doc? I'll go with you even if it involves needles - "
Private's eyes went wide at the concession and then all else faded to introspection a second later. "It's comin' but it can't be K'walski said so - but it's comin' - I feel it like before - "
Skipper's frantic look to Kowalski needed answering. "Sir, it's another egg. Get ready to be a dad - again."
"Huh? It's not afterpains or something - " A shriek from Private shook him visibly.
Kowalski's head swiveled to the lair's entrance when Rico made his way slowly, carefully down the ladder. Handel's Hallelujah, there the previous egg was, cradled by two loving and efficient feet.
"It h-hurts like yesterday, honey! N-Not so bad oh no it's worse oh!" Private seemed to have lost his equilibrium that had carried him through the birthing before. He cursed and cried and thrashed again until he lay on his back in an unnatural position for laying an egg. This time tears washed down his cheeks while Skipper stood at the ready and Kowalski dabbed away moisture and spoke comforting phrases he had heard on Doctor Oz because he blanked on any appropriate Lunacorn sayings.
Private paid no mind to anything except being out of control of his body. "Dammitall to aitch ee double hockeysticks! This is your fault, Skippa! You and your braapin', um, braapin'!"
The look on Skipper's face was best forgotten as he held his post. He said not a word as the egg crowned and dropped into his flippers. He gave the creamy oval to his lieutenant and stared silently at his love.
There was a streak on the egg that Kowalski cleaned away and then the scientist didn't know what to do next as he stood there with the egg clutched to his chest. The dynamic of their team had changed greatly in twenty-four hours and in the last ten minutes changed again. Regrouping was the order of the day and by the stunned look on one pivotal face, the second in command needed to step up to the plate as his next move. He could do this. Doctor Phil would agree that manners and tradition stabilized any emotionally fraught situation.
"Sir, congratulations. Private, congratulations. Rico, keep on keeping on carrying the egg, er, Egg Number One."
"Sally."
"What, sir?"
"I like the name Sally, if it's a girl. It came to me when I passed Marlene's habitat, all lonesome as it is." Skipper sounded numb as he patted Private's head. Private squirmed in lingering discomfort and then regained his breath. He grabbed Skipper's flipper and held on tight. He smiled.
"Sally? Righto, honey, Sally it is."
IOIOIOIOIO
Rico had never heard so many 'honeys' and 'dears' and 'sweetiepies' and 'babes' as in the last day. It made him sick and it took all his willpower not to upchuck. He withdrew to the bottom bunk to sit down. What was Private doing, cursing and yelling at his love and minutes afterward showering rainbows on him? By the shock on Skipper's face, the harsh words from someone he had pledged his life to had blindsided him. Rico felt pity for the first time for his commander in a non-injury sitch. He studied the egg below his knees and wondered if it were worth it all.
IOIOIOIOIO
Skipper disentangled himself without a backward glance at Private and reached for his new egg. Kowalski passed it along even though it plucked at his heartstrings to give it up. Skipper fondled the smooth surface as he carefully lifted it to his earhole to listen. Of course there would be nothing coming through the shell at this embryonic stage of the game. The sentimental pose affected Kowalski and when Skipper whispered "You are loved no matter what" to its unresponsive ivory surface, Kowalski had to look away. A burst of inspiration shook him and his eyes grew wide.
IOIOIOIOIO
Kowalski had never whinnied like Penny before, but he did now. With the egg eleven point nine minutes from Private's panting efforts, he blathered, "We could make a square egg do you know how well I do you take the egg that's soft like this new one and put it into a box of the right size" - he looked wildly around the lair and gestured to the empty juice box - "and then you place it inside so that soft shell takes on the squared shape - "
When he made a move as if to snatch the egg from Skipper, Rico pushed Kowalski aside with an apologetic glance towards Skipper and Private. "Kwoskii nuts bout kidz." He shuttled the scientist over to the porthole and whispered something for his earholes alone. Kowalski got within hailing distance of sanity once more.
"What was I thinking? How would any of us nurture a square egg? Moral scientists don't do something for the sake of just doing it!" He looked down at Rico's brood pouch filled with new life. "A square shape and our dimensions do not compute. There needs to be even distribution of warmth and humidity through our feathers and feet and belly -" Rico knew his partner was in the Think Melon Zone and let him ramble. Now and then Kowalski stuttered a step towards the birthing arena and Rico reeled him back each time.
IOIOIOIOIO
"Skippa, I'm over the moon! This is wot I dreamed about, one egg and another on the way so long ago! And now it's, I mean they, are really, really here!" He was ecstatic and Rico surmised that Skipper couldn't fathom it. Sarcasm shielded the team leader from any more scathing remarks from Private as he ignored the young penguin's outreach for their new egg.
"Even though I'm your partner? Skanky old me?"
"Wot the braap?"
"Swearing doesn't suit you, soldier. Don't do it again. I'll make lutfisk if I have to."
This was too serious for tears and Rico saw Private blink them away. "I - I - d-don't - "
"Oh come on! You cussed me out worse than Patton would not fifteen minutes ago!"
The breath caught in Private's throat as a tsunami of confusion flooded his soul. "I - I - didn't!"
"You did!" Skipper blasted with Antarctic fury. "Just ask Kowalski and Rico!"
"I c-couldn't! I wouldn't!"
"Kowalski, tell him." The commander looked like he wanted to pitch a fit. The only thing available to throw was the new egg and he made choked noises of hurt and anger before the mantle of leadership settled again. Now he awaited Kowalski's options with a face of battleship steel.
"Kowalski." The steel turned brittle with too much cold.
Kowalski continued staring out the porthole.
"Kowalski! Report ASAP!" The steel splintered.
Rico shook Kowalski's shoulders with no response. "'Kipppaaaahh, holdonnamint." Rico upended Kowalski and bonked his head against the cement thrice. He set him upright again with a shove towards the two new parents. Kowalski beheld them blearily and then looked over his shoulder at Rico.
"Uhhhhh, whatizzit?"
"'Kippaaaahwantzopshnzstat."
"Wubbout?"
"'Rivatemean."
Clearer words flowed as if through a busted water main. "Preposterous! Private is never mean except for just now when he was delirious."
Skipper's incomprehension approached levels never before seen. "Huh? He was conscious of every cruel word!"
Realization broke through the remaining clouds of hypotheses, theses, and abstracts soaring through Kowalski's brain and he smiled patronizingly. "Sir, Shelly and Pinkie have both described their egglaying times as, and I quote, 'the weirdest days I have ever spent I mean something comes from between my legs that has potential to be alive and I got all loofy.' Er, that last part was from Shelly. Pinkie described the odd combination of pain and euphoria better, in my humble opinion. She said it was like flapping your wings harder to stay aloft in a cold downdraft and soaring without effort in a warm updraft." He cleared his throat. "So that was what happened to young Private." He indicated Private. "How do you feel now?"
"Madder than a wet Blue Hen." Private gained enough strength to stand.
"Private, I asked you not to mention her- "
"Shut it, K'walski! Skippa, how could you believe that I was in my right mind?" Private glared the glare of the righteously indignant.
"Huh - er - I don't know what to say? I did because I got taken off guard when I saw you in pain? It was my fault so I deserved those words? Why am I talking in questions? Shit, I sound like an Aussie." Skipper held out the new egg. "This is my fault and also yours. We both like doing, um, what it takes to get one and we just never expected to run into a voodoo zombie curse underground, of all places."
Kowalski edged away from reality once more and Rico felt apprehensive. "You've explained it to me, but I still don't understand because it's so far outside the realm of Science. Let me reiterate the basics: Frances Alberta said something weird that Julien might say to his Sky Spirits and bingo, Private is female for a while and you didn't realize it at the time." He scratched his beak. "Come again?"
"I did," Skipper said as he nuzzled the corner of Private's jaw. "On Upper Pepper Island. So there's your answer for the two eggs." Rico saw Private and Skipper edge away from reality, too, and into their world of love as it returned to containing just the two of them. Private's need to rest got the better of him and he folded down onto the floor where Skipper plotzed beside his head to balance the egg against his side. Skipper ruffled Private's cheek feathers and Private kissed his flipper.
Rico cringed. "Tee Em Eye, 'Kippaaaah. Kwoskii, buddy - "
Kowalski beamed at Skipper and Private's little display of mushy love but Rico gleaned that he was really seeing something even dearer to his heart than they were. It must have been a whopper of a vision because Kowalski's pupils dilated to the size of Thompson grapes as his eyes shaded from blue to a green that Rico had never seen in them before. Green was the color of jealousy and Rico got nervous. He shifted the egg that might become Sally forward on his toes.
"Kwoskii - "
"Soon," murmured Kowalski. "Soonsoonsoon - "
The atmosphere in the lair refocused to its usual ninety percent harmony with a snap! Private and Skipper gasped as if they had both experienced the same struggle to push out the egg. "It's beautiful," they whispered together. Private rolled onto his side and winced. Skipper kept eyes on the egg as he laid it in the crook of Private's elbow. Rico assumed that his commander ignored the signs of his own emotion because they would overwhelm his discipline. Skipper eased himself down to recline beside Private and their egg.
Private peered into Skipper's wet face and took over command. "K'walski, you're delirious now. Go do somethin' useful in the lab straightaway while Skippa and I have some couple time." Then his good manners came to the fore despite his strained expression as everything closed up to its usual tightness in a delicate area of his small body. "Please."
"Aye." But it was Rico who acknowledged the order as he shuffled Kowalski towards his own lab. Kowalski mumbled to the ether in hushed tones as his partner pushed him along and closed the lab door behind them.
IOIOIOIOIO
Kowalski paced with his head down and nearly hit the wall before Rico caught his shoulders and turned him around. "Skipper is just so studly that he started two eggs against all logic and precedence for our sort of penguin." He stopped mid-pace. "I might have known someone that macho would break all the rules." He smiled and stuck one and then the other flipper into the air. "Our rookery increased by two and not one and this puts my Plan A into the Plan B slot, Rico."
"Zaywhut?"
Kowalski scraped a toe on the cement flooring and ducked his head. "Oh, um, despite my renowned efficiency, I haven't told Plan A to you yet. It's the dkjrjkmph plan."
"Huh?"
The scientist put his flippers over his face. "The hmzflrpschwotz plan."
"Zayagin - "
"Oh all right! The plan where I blend your DNA with mine to make our baby! Happy?"
Rico was beyond amazement. He approached Kowalski to catch both his flippers in his own. "Kwoskii."
"What? They'll give us one of their babies! I know them both so well and you do, too!" He made as if to gavotte with Rico but Rico stood still as Cleopatra's Needle despite enthusiastic tugs. A sprightly gavotte would tip out the egg and Kowalski would have realized this if not still partway in Daddyland.
"Kwoskii. Notourz."
Kowalski snatched back his flippers to cross them tightly. "Huh, shows how much you know. Rookeries establish crèches and many, many hatchlings are supervised by a few adults while most adults go out to sea to fish. No one-on-one parenting or two-on-one parenting, get it? We were nearly old enough for crèche care when we left Antarctica." His chest swelled with pride. "With the superior Kowalski Method, each baby gets two fully accredited adults to teach them how to be penguins as well as supplying nourishment. Win win!"
Rico cocked his head. "Win win win!"
"Abagnale's assumptions, stop trying to be Skipper with his three things fetish, Rico. Be true to yourself!"
Rico stomped a foot before turning his back. "Pengwing cmandos, Kwoskii." Aghast at his show of temper, he checked out the egg. It remained securely cradled and he wiped imaginary sweat from his brow.
Kowalski looked broken. "Oh. That's what you meant. Teach them how to be a penguin, give them nourishment, and supply penguin commando training. Three missions - oh." He dropped a hesitant flipper on the broad back. Rico shrugged it off. "I'm sorry. I did my usual overkill. Not for anything would I hurt you, my friend. My man." He sucked in a breath and said in a firmer voice, "You're not Skipper. You're better than Skipper."
Rico looked over his shoulder at Kowalski, his beak in a doubting moue. Kowalski made a peacemaking face. "Because, Rico love, Skipper would have walked right up my front like he does and bent me backwards" - Rico got a jealous look at the image that Kowalski thought it better not to parse - "and made me eat my words. With durian sauce."
Rico grinned. "Oh, er, uh, I forgot that you like durians. Make it spoiled marshmeowmeow sauce."
Rico still grinned. "Nine years past its best by date."
Rico's grin approached the brightness of the sun. "Organic spoiled marshmeowmeow sauce."
The smile eclipsed. "Ew." Rico looked askance at his partner and sniffed. "Frgivn."
Kowalski said nothing until he buried his face in Rico's neck feathers. "How did I ever deserve you?"
Rico patted Kowalski's back as he tried to come up with a reason before deciding that the question was rhetorical.
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