White Noise | By : RWBYRemnants Category: +M through R > RWBY Views: 1666 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: RWBY is not mine and I make no money from this fic |
=Chapter 7
Ten or so minutes later, the rattled diva finally collected herself and walked over to the bathroom door, rapping on it sharply with one knuckle. “Um… Yang?”
When she heard a knock at the door, she jumped in fright, then suddenly froze completely. All the sobs and cries had silenced. Even if she should have expected it, it still came as a surprise. Yang hadn't shifted. In all that time, she had sat on the closed lid of the toilet seat, practically crying her heart out, face buried in her hands to muffle the loud sobs and shaky gasps. No doubt Weiss would have heard. The walls were certainly not soundproof in a mere traveller’s bus.
"Honestly, how dare you sit in there crying!" It was the stupidest way she could have responded to the sound of sobs. She felt horrible. However, what she ended up continuing with was, "I was the one who was surprised! S-so… you shouldn’t be upset!"
Funnily enough, it did nothing to ease the situation. It only forced forth more sobs as Yang keeled back over, crying into her hands yet again, teeth gritting together to somehow try and mask the sobs. Not that it did much.
"Stop that right now, Yang Xiao Long!" Then she sighed, running her hand down her face. "You're… I've never known anybody like you, so I'm sorry if I said anything stupid, okay? But you have to admit, this is not something I should have been expecting!"
"I-I know…" The voice barely sounded like Yang's anymore. Just like a high pitched mess. She was barely even able to force it out. However, it did make her try and stop herself from crying into her hands even further, as she leant back to sit upright.
"Then why are you crying?! I didn't hurt you or anything! All I said was that I didn't want to sleep with you right this very minute!"
Continuing to breathe, Yang was attempting to get any thoughts together she could. Nothing hurt, physically. Nor did Weiss say anything with malicious intent. The shame wasn't in Weiss, it was in Yang herself. She'd made an assumption where she shouldn't have done, she was the one that tore any possible chance of things developing up by rushing. It was all her fault.
"G-god, I'm not c-crying because of that…" She tried to show a bit more of herself in her plea this time, a bit more of the Yang Weiss was used to. "T-that fedora ‘friendzone’ bullshit. Seriously, I- that’s not what this is about."
"Well, how am I supposed to know what's wrong?! Clearly, I didn't know you as well as I thought!" Grunting, she turned and slammed her back against the bathroom door, using it to support her weight. "Aren't you required to disclose this on your job application or something?"
Staring down at the ground, she sniffed again, brushing the wrist of her glove up against her nose to be rid of any of the residue and taking shaky breaths again. "S-sometimes," she admitted, continuing to stare out into space. "If I'm supposed to be getting more surgery or counselling and gotta leave work. But I don't anymore."
"Counselling, huh?" Little by little, Weiss's voice was beginning to sound less irate and more reasonable. "So… how long ago did you start sex-changing, or whatever?"
Taking a few more deep breaths, Yang was also beginning to calm down. Weiss really did know nothing about these issues. Nothing at all – not even the right terminology! Perhaps it was ignorance, but also parenting. But she hadn't snapped; not properly. Judging by her voice tone changing, she was willing to learn.
"I started to tell people how I felt about myself when I was eighteen," she began, allowing tears to fall on their own means as she recollected her memories.
"But that was only a couple of years ago, wasn't it?" Then she paused. "Or…. okay, I do have to ask you a question. My sister has been pestering me - as she does - about some gaps in your work history, and your school history. Does… this have anything to do with that?"
That was definitely an annoying concept. But she had other things to address in the moment. "If she's looking with my real name, yeah. I changed my name officially two years ago on my twenty-first birthday, so anything before that's under my birthname." Taking a deep breath, she uttered, "Which is Ying Xiao Long."
A moment passed as Weiss took that in. Eighteen-year-old Yang was five years ago, way further back than the information Winter found. Finally, instead of laughing at her or getting upset again, she just let out a snort. "Ying instead of Yang. Really? That's it? If I had a chance to change my name, you can bet I'd do more than replace one letter."
"It's surprising what one letter can do," she said rather plainly in response. But leaning back again and staring at the ceiling, she continued to answer Weiss's first question, about her transition. "Blake was the first person I told. We were still together when I finally broke down and confessed everything."
"So you were a man back then, and she thought she was in a straight relationship?" Then she sighed out very slowly. "Wow… I don't know how I could have handled being told that."
"Yeah." Obviously that choice of words wasn’t accurate, but they were at least phrases Weiss could understand, so she could easily piece together what happened. Not that she'd need to. "I remember we argued, I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. Then the next day, she woke me up at the crack of dawn, made me get up and sit in front of the dressing table mirror. I thought she was gonna try and talk some sense into me, start the 'Can't you see you’re a dude?' speech." But then, she started to smile. "She didn't. She asked me what eye shadow I thought would suit me, and asked if I needed tips. She gave me a fucking makeover and had bought me clothes and even a wig since my hair was so short…"
Weiss bit her lips. She could feel her father's arguments welling up in her mouth, threatening to spill out: that Blake was "enabling" Yang, feeding into her - his? - psychosis. That Yang had a mental illness and Blake had simply made it worse instead of seeing she got the treatment she needed, even if she didn't know she needed it.
But that didn't seem right. Other than the very visible protrusion in the front of her feminine lace panties, there was nothing about the blonde that said "fake girl". She'd known her for over a month now, and at no point had she even been the tiniest bit suspicious she was born male. That she was into girls, maybe, but not that.
"So are you wearing a wig now?" she asked, trying to keep her tone neutral. "Or a padded bra?"
She shook her head. But of course, remembered Weiss couldn't see that at all. "No. I grew my hair out. I was worried it would never get to this length, but it's surprising what hormones and the right conditioners and shampoos can do." And then to the more intimate question, which she looked down to her own chest to answer. "My bra’s a normal one. That took surgery, but my diet's also helped make the boobs more… boobly. They look and feel a little more natural rather than a Barbie doll would, I guess."
"Yeah, okay. I'd be mad if you naturally had boobs about ten times bigger than mine. You… really do look like a girl. A real, naturally-born woman. Had me completely fooled."
"It's not about fooling people, Weiss." That was about as much as she could take of her ignorance. Even if she didn't know the right terms just yet, and was still trying to be gentle, such phrases were huge blows to Yang’s confidence and self-image. She had to teach her. "I didn't spend thousands of dollars, five years and… and psychological suffering into all this just to pull a massive prank on society. Nor did I do it because I wanted to 'look like' a girl. I am one."
Pausing, she ran a hand over her face, wiping away the few tears that were forming. "I did it for me. I did it so I could finally look in a mirror, and not want to tear the skin off my own body. I did it so I could love myself, instead of spending years wishing I wasn't here. I did it so I could be the woman I am. The woman I knew I always was."
"But you still have…" It was her automatic reaction, but she cut herself off; pointing out that Yang still had a male organ wouldn't improve their situation, especially when it was obviously not a fact that she had somehow missed.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to imply you were kidding around with all this. Clearly it's important to you if you're the way that you are. This just isn't anything I ever had to think about before, okay? Not once, even when I read the Time article about Caitlyn. I skimmed it, and I felt how my father felt; that it's weird for Bruce to have come out after all this time, and it seemed like a publicity stunt. We're in the entertainment industry - we always think that way first, and consider that it's anything else second. And since I've never known anybody else who had a sex change, that's as far as I could get."
"You're probably using the worst person to base your knowledge on with Caitlyn Jenner. Seriously, have you seen some of the shit she's said?" When there was no response, Yang was finally at a stage when she had no tears left to shed, calmed to a point her breathing was stable. They were talking now, not arguing, and it was an important talk to have.
“Ugh… I know you’re right, Caitlyn’s not the only woman out there who used to be a man, but like I said, that's all I know! This is not my area of expertise, okay?"
"And yes… I do still have a… a penis." She put it that way instead this time, since any other words seemed to crude or improper for the seriousness of the subject at hand. "But that's my choice, and it’s private and nobody else’s business. Sure, that's what doctors go off to gender you when you're first born, but that's not what makes you you."
"It's a v-very nice penis!" Weiss assured her… before groaning. "That sounded stupid, didn't it?” Turning, she pressed both hands to the door and pleaded with her bodyguard. "And I know you’re already who you are inside. Please, I'm trying. Honestly, I really am. But you've had years to deal with this, while I've had about thirty minutes!"
There was a pause still. It almost seemed as if Yang wasn't going to talk again, or ever come out of the bathroom. After a full minute of silence, there came one question.
"Up until you knew all this… You liked me, right?"
"Of course I did!" Then she reconsidered. "Well… I was afraid of how much. Didn't understand it. And now I don't know if this still makes me gay, or if I'm straight because you have a penis, o-or what… I was already confused enough before I knew about that! But…" Her voice was breaking, and she hated it but she couldn't stop talking. "But I know I've never, ever felt about anybody the way I feel about you. Whatever that turns out to be."
“Really?” But she forced herself not to get too excited yet. She had to be definitely sure. "Just… ignore my genitals, any labels, all of that stuff for a few seconds, okay? Yes or no. Me, as a person – that's what you like, r-right?"
Weiss only hesitated long enough to sigh. "Don't be an idiot, of course I like you. And… I know you're trying to ask if it's 'as more than a friend', and… I think so. But that's what's freaking me out!" Pinching the bridge of her nose, she said, "Okay, okay. You asked for a yes or no answer, without the labels and stuff. So if that's your question… then I have to say…" Gulping, she whispered, "Yes."
There was more silence that followed. The answer couldn't be made any clearer if she tried, and Yang had pulled out any and all possible technicalities. Weiss liked Yang. In ways more than professional, more than friendship. The only sound that followed was the unlocking of the door, to which she waited a moment for Weiss to back away from, before starting to open it.
When she opened it, she saw a pale, shaking Weiss pressed up against the far wall of the hallway. Her eyes were pointed down at her own sparkly toes, chest rising and falling rapidly. Even their conversation had not calmed her nerves from earlier. Finally stepping out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind her, she shyly looked toward Weiss again. The physical evidence from earlier had certainly calmed down, and it was back to being less noticeable again; but that didn't stop the heat in Yang's cheeks. Nor did it stop her eyes from welling back up again.
But at last, she was smiling. "Good. ‘Cause if it’s any consolation… I like you, too."
Weiss glanced up at Yang's groin again, to check if there was anything to see. When she found it looked as normal, instead of bulging the way it had a few minutes ago, she sighed with relief and looked up to meet Yang's eyes.
"You're… so beautiful. And that has never mattered to me before, whether or not another girl is beautiful - no matter what 'kind' of girl they are."
"Then don't think about it," she repeated, staying in her position by the bathroom door so as not to startle her. Just like the incident after the first attack, she waited for Weiss to be the first to make a move. At least that way, she wouldn't make wrong assumptions again. "Just show me how you feel."
"Is it really that easy?" Yang didn't answer. Somehow, she hadn't expected her to. Crossing the sparse distance, Weiss slid her hands up Yang's lapels and pressed her lips up into hers, eyes sliding closed once they connected.
They were every bit as sweet and perfect as the first time they kissed in her dressing room, as they had been moments before she discovered so much about Yang. So much that, at the end of the day, might not matter. Or it might, but as Yang said, she needed to stop thinking so much. Thinking just made her a nervous wreck and got in the way of her enjoying what her bodyguard had to offer.
Finally, a kiss Yang could be sure of. Just as soft as before, Yang found her arms wrapping around the smaller woman as she pulled her in closer, gently stroking her back as they continued their intimate kiss. She wouldn't rush it this time, only kneaded her lips against the diva's at her own pace. Apart from when she occasionally allowed her teeth to graze over her lower lip again.
That was all it took to completely melt Weiss, and she sighed restlessly, pushing her body right up against the other firm one as she melted into her strong arms. Confusing though most of this was, she couldn't even pretend that she disliked the kissing.
After a few more seconds, she pulled back and whispered, "Um… so, hi."
Quietly, she breathed right back, "Hey," before simply standing there contentedly, both of them in a warm embrace with one another. She didn't know what else to say, or what else to do. There were many things that she wanted to try and do, but she didn't want to assume this time. Not after their earlier mistake.
Although she did remark upon looking at the sofa, "Oh shoot… I forgot to set my bed up for the night…"
"Well… you could…" Clearing her throat, she whispered, "If I say you can sleep in my bed… y-you know that I'm, um… that I've never…" She started over. "I'm a virgin, okay?"
Yang only blinked a few times. From their conversations before, she had guessed at that fact. The lack of boyfriends certainly seemed to confirm that story But when it appeared that Weiss was ashamed of this fact, she placed one hand against the side of her neck, stroking up and down very slightly, soothingly even.
"You're saying that as if it's a problem, or as if you think all I want is…"
The gentle, familiar touch surprised her. Yang was already treating her like a lover, but also like far more. None of these were familiar things to her, no matter how often she saw them on television.
"Well… I don't want you to expect too much from me letting you in there, that's all." Then she turned toward her bedroom. "I need to get ready to go to sleep, then. What do you do before bed? I mean…" Shrugging, she turned back around. "Again, sorry if this isn't right, but is there anything special you need to do? Like, with hormones or something?"
Yang visibly cringed at that sentence. She knew Weiss was trying, truly she did, but that didn't stop the obvious 'you should not have said that' face from forming. "I've lived with you a month now, my routine's no different from what it always has been."
"Well, how should I know?" Hearing the irritation in her own voice, she simply stopped herself from commenting further and went into her room to get pyjamas.
Once the door shut, Yang quickly pulled hers out from her draw. A pair of shorts and a small top, yet again with the orange colours and fiery emblem upon them. Despite them not being so different to her usual outfit, she knew it would be far comfier to sleep in Weiss's company with. Turning her back on the door, she quickly slid off both her regular shorts and her panties, sliding the pyjama shorts on straight after. And then pulling her shirt over and off, she managed to unclasp her bra…
The door opened again and Weiss padded out, having only managed to remove her shoes thus far. "Sorry, could you help me with this zipper? It's so-"
And she froze. Yang was just in the process of sliding her bra off and depositing it on the bed. In a small voice, she breathed, "Sorry, I didn't mean…"
Looking back over her shoulder, Yang spotted Weiss looking at her bare back. Now that they were out in the open about things, she was relatively calm about it, even shrugging her shoulders as she pulled her new top on over the top of her bare upper half.
"What? That's like, the only private part you and I got in common. No biggie."
"No, I guess… yeah, it's fine." Swallowing, she walked up closer to Yang and repeated, "I just wanted your help with the zipper, I swear - I wasn't trying to intrude."
Once brushing her top down, she immediately walked over, turning her around to work on the zip. "You're fine, seriously. But how useless are you if you can't even get your own dress off?" She would have laughed, at least, if she could slide the zip down further then Weiss could initially. Way to make her eat her own words. "J-just… hngh… wow, it… really doesn't wanna play today…"
"Serves you right for being so flippant," Weiss scoffed. "But I should have known - it took Emerald and Miltia a few minutes to get me into this." Glancing over her shoulder, she asked, "Anything? Is it moving at all?"
"Nnnnope…" When she tried to budge it again, she just sighed. "Okay, exactly how much money would I get docked from my pay if I ruined this thing?"
"NONONO, don't do that! I…" Clearing her throat, she said in a less sensational voice, "Okay, normally I'd say it's fine, but I actually really like this dress. Um… do we have any olive oil, maybe? Or something?"
"N-nope, but we do have… D-determin…nation!"
And finally, with one last firm pull, Yang forced the zipper the rest of the way down, breathing a sigh of relief when she did so. Now she only had to get changed into her pyjamas. But not before she spread apart the material a little, leaning down to leave a quick kiss on the back of her spine.
"AaaAAhhh!" Weiss nearly squealed, shivering at the light touch. "N-now you stop that!" But her reprimand was not terribly harsh. "I'm going to finish changing, and don't you dare come in and peep at me!" Clutching the front of her dress to prevent it from falling down, she stomped back into her room, elbowing the door closed behind her.
Standing still and waiting, Yang began to run her hands through her hair again, trying her best to neaten it up before she would be joining Weiss. That sounded so weird – that she'd be sleeping in the same bed as The Weiss. Then again, no one would have believed her if she told them she'd kissed The Weiss, either. Setting up the last few things before bed, like putting her phone on its charger and taking a sip of water, she finally waited outside her bedroom door.
When it eased open, Weiss's expression was equal parts grumpy and terrified. But she did her best job of being polite as she said, "You may enter."
"Thank you." Yang smiled, following her into the small bedroom. It was nothing extravagant – simply a large bed taking up most of the space available, along with drawers on either side. She hadn't really entered it before, only once to collect the pyjamas from Weiss's bed. It wasn't somewhere one could stay comfortably for a long period of time doing anything other than sleeping, though it was cosy enough.
Weiss sat on the edge of the bed, glancing over at Yang. Clearly, she was ill at ease with what was happening, but she was both too polite and too curious to make any more protestations than she already had. When Yang didn't make any move to lay down, she cleared her throat and took the initiative.
"Um… so I normally sleep by myself. Which side do you prefer?"
"Oh… Um, any. I'm usually the big spoon, if that helps?"
"What do spoons have to do with anything?" she asked innocently. Not that she meant it to be innocent; she simply wasn't familiar with what that meant in terms of people sleeping next to each other. "I meant left or right."
Even if she didn't laugh when Weiss first confessed she was a virgin, that was something that did give her a light chuckle. "Spooning? It's cuddling. Like, say if you're lying on one side of the bed facing right, I'd be behind you also facing right. So your back is pressed up against my front, and we’re nestled together like a couple of spoons."
"O-oh. So… is that what you'd rather do? I can do that."
Seemed that realizing she was entirely out of her element made the diva defer to Yang's expertise. As she crawled over the bed toward the left side, so that she would be facing her right, she also seemed to realize that her knee-length blue nightgown was slowly hiking up the backs of her thighs more and more.
"Whoops!" she breathed, pushing her hand against her backside. As she reached her destination and began to slide under the covers, she looked over at Yang. "Are… are you coming?"
She couldn't just let that opportunity slip by her. Not when innuendos were a clear sign Yang was being Yang. "I thought we agreed that wasn't happening?" But sure enough, she followed suit, crawling over the top of the sheets to tuck herself into bed just to Weiss's side, also facing to the right. Little by little, she shuffled up closer to her, not rushing so as not to startle her.
By the time their bodies were flush with each other, Weiss was trembling. "You're so crude. Can't believe I let you into my bed."
But her words were clearly meant to serve as a mask for her nervousness. When she felt Yang's hand sliding past her side and onto her stomach, she let out a small squeak of panic. As if she were burned, Yang drew her hand back up instead, resting it against her ribs instead. Just lower than her breasts, but above her stomach so she wasn't putting so much pressure on Weiss.
Of course, being pushed against Yang's front had its advantages. Even if she couldn't see Yang's ‘surprise appendage’ anymore, she could feel it quite easily against her backside. Which might have explained why her breathing remained ragged, even with Yang's clearly-chivalrous withdrawal of her hand. She flexed her hindcheeks experimentally, just to see if it truly was what she thought it was. Yes, that was definitely Yang.
"S-so…" Pitching her voice low, trying not to be provocative with her next statement and funny instead, she went on, "I'm not saying you have a specific reason for choosing to be the 'big spoon', but… it would come in handy, wouldn't it?"
When feeling the diva's backside right against her again, the pre-existing blush she had was only getting worse in size. Choosing to hide it as she burrowed her face info Weiss's hair, pulling her in closer with her hands to cuddle more, she let out a small uneasy groan.
"I m-may have… started things off that way a few times."
"And now, you want to do it to me." It was a statement, not a question. Weiss wasn't moving, though; she was shifting her cheeks back and forth, testing the feel of it there. "You're… hard again, right? Stupid question, but I'm going to be full of those for a while yet."
The more Weiss was grinding herself against her member, the truer that comment was becoming – and those pyjama pants did nothing to stop how obvious it would become. She could already feel it beginning to poke against her fabric.
"K-keep grinding like that and I will be…"
Truer words had never been spoken; as she shifted what she had originally intended to be the last time, she felt it grow the slightest amount and gasped. "O-oh, so it wasn't! I see!" Then she whispered, "Are… you going to be able to sleep like this?"
Drawing her head out from her hair at last, she was already half closing her eyes. Now Weiss had stopped, she could feel the exhaustion sweep over her. After fighting their way through such an emotional maelstrom, it really had taken everything out of her. Nodding, she simply stroked around Weiss's stomach a moment. Not enough to tease much, but enough to show she was there.
"Yeah, like a baby. What about you?"
"Eventually… maybe." The teasing was a lot more intense for Weiss than it was to Yang, but it was probably just because she was in bed with…
A transwoman. That was the correct terminology, but it didn't sound right - didn't feel right. She'd never called anyone that in her entire life, so why start now? Even if it was applicable; the breasts and erection up against her back seemed to argue that this was very much the case. Yang was a woman, but she had something that felt quite manly to her. This was going to take a lot of mental reevaluation for the sheltered pop star.
Still, she was glad Yang had at least forced her to admit that she liked her, if the trappings of gender were ignored for a few seconds. That helped her put a lot of things in perspective. Such as… the fact that she wanted to be with Yang, too. In some ways, her having male genitalia would uncomplicate things - especially bedroom things. Boy-parts and girl-parts fitting together was the only way she knew sex to work, since she was not very worldly-wise. In other ways, it made things endlessly more confusing, but hopefully they could sort through them one at a time. Should they actually pursue a romantic relationship.
Again, she shifted against the half-erect length, and again it felt good. Even just against her butt! Why was she loving this weird activity so much?! Gulping, she began to raise her arm, to allow it to creep back to rest on Yang's hip for a moment.
When she felt that, Yang had just been doing a lot of the same deep thinking. They were cuddling for now, sleeping in the same bed for now, but what if it was just Weiss wanting to experiment? After assuming the wrong thing an hour ago, she didn't want to go down that path again, not when it led to her feeling so guilty she had to run off.
But nor was she going to lay motionless like some form of doll. She wanted to be more. She wanted to show Weiss that what she felt was more than most fan's fantasies, that she truly cared. Leaning up slightly, she craned her head forward to do just that, planting a kiss on her cheek.
The kiss did take Weiss by surprise, though it was somewhat more familiar territory. So she turned her head, just enough to give Yang access to her mouth - should she want that. In all honesty, she had no idea what Yang wanted – or what she did herself.
But Yang had no such problem in that area. Holding her body close, she pressed her lips up against Weiss's once again, kissing her softly and gently this time. Far slower than before. She wanted for Weiss to see that her interests were more than sex alone, despite what she had between her legs getting ever harder. That she could ignore, quite easily.
Hungrily kneading her lips back against Yang's, she rolled just enough that it didn't strain her neck as much to engage with her, and she began to relax into the motions. Yes, most of her was a bundle of raw nerves, but in this respect, she just wanted more. As much as she could handle.
And the hand on Yang's hip began to wander - not a lot at first, but it made its way up to her waistband. Which made Yang worry. Weiss wanted to see her before. In fact, she more or less had; lace panties weren't exactly the best to hide what lay behind them. Was that what she was trying to do again now?
This time, Yang's hand reached to grasp hers, pushing it back up her body again, just on her ribcage instead. Between their breaths, she whispered, "Behave."
And in a way Weiss couldn't explain, the command – it was a command, how dare she tell her she could or couldn't do something – shot even more heat to her core. That made no sense! Still, all she said was, "Y-yes, ma'am." Her cheeks felt hot the more she thought about it, until all she could do was rub her rear up against Yang a few more times, as if to both aggravate and soothe… and to convey that she had understood.
That was something Yang was pleased with. That despite everything, Weiss was still using the right pronouns. She was still treating her as a woman, not changing how she treated her because of this information. With a final kneading against those sweet, soft lips, she finally pulled away, cuddling right against her contentedly, allowing her hand to lightly trail over her belly again. Now, sleep really did sound good.
It didn't come as easily to Weiss, of course. For a long while, she lay there, feeling the semi-rigidness pressing right into her body, and she felt so hot that she felt like the entire room might spontaneously combust. In the end, however, when Yang never stirred again or made any other move to reinitiate their activities, she was forced to admit that they really were going to sleep now.
Why was she dissatisfied with that? Hadn't it been her that told Yang, in no uncertain terms, that they would not be having sex tonight? And here she was annoyed that Yang had fallen asleep! She really was a case study in contradictions.
There was only so long the diva could maintain her "outrage" about the events of the night, and could panic about sleeping with a bump of semi-arousal pressing right up against her body. Yang's breathing was a slow and relaxing lullaby, and before long, she found herself drifting away. Her final thought before passing out was…
'If I'm dating a girl who used to be a boy… isn't that the literal definition of bisexuality? If it's not, it probably should be.'
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